Wolf and Owl - Bonus Email Episode #6

Episode Date: March 12, 2021

We tackle… inappropriate adverts, social media (mis)management, incommunicative flatmates, lads chat, more of those pesky inner voices and dealing with the family dog. Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last Request to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts Get severed and served Bring your weak shit Wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake That's an awful howler Both of them are known To pull up at your shows

Have the crowd witnessing a murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship Let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill Never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing

All you hear is a huff a puff And and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog welcome to the wolf and our pod, uh, email bonus, special, special, special. Uh, now Tom, I've pulled out like 10 emails. Wow. Do you want to just wrap?

Should we try and get through all of them? Yeah. Just quickly though. Yeah. Go on. There's a little thing that I got. Someone messaged me about this. So.

By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, before you start. Yeah. Um um i know for a fact that this is something where you think you've won something and i can tell you why because because the tony voice changed the way you're sitting changed so you think you're about to sort of impart some sort of fucking fatality go on no i'm not like that no you know me baby right listen

what i'm saying to you is this um someone's got in touch remember a few weeks ago you were talking about uh the problem you had with someone um saying you were an arsehole at the school gates and all that stuff yes yes yes and you speculated um and you just pulled a name out of nowhere what name did i pull up you i think it was something along the line of was it like diana collette or something like that or something it was a weird name it was a very made up well you made up but someone's got in contact to say actually it wasn't the name is the name of a famous quite famous porn actress from the 70s and 80s right it was just yeah it was just like what the name

that i pulled out yeah yeah is the name of so what are you trying what are you getting at why have you got a little smile on your face no it's just like it cleared and it was from quite a sort of like

famous porn movie from the sort of for the time so whether that's just sort of on your on your head it was because it was an amazing name

you're so you're so pleasing yourself aren't you I'm not I'm just saying you are you're so so happy with that it just't you i'm not i'm just saying that you are you're so so happy with that it just jumps in my head then like after we finished the last episode i was like

just getting early with the play so okay um i think that was the name of one of her movies actually okay first email uh this is from rick burn uh hi rom and tom after listening to the last couple of episodes and hearing about tom's problems with his internet i thought i'd email in one of them after tom had just finished a rant about bt spotify cut to an advert which proclaimed the benefits of bt broadband i know this isn't a question or a great story but the advert placement really made me laugh and i felt like BT responding with a big fuck you to Tom. Love the podcast. Hope you both well. I'm seething

about this. Seething about this. Genuinely angry. Your internet's better today. You're still with BT have you changed? I'm with Sky now. It's so much better. Yeah, so BT if you think you got the last laugh, the fact is that everyone can see this

and hear this a lot clearer because of your idiocy. And if you want to run a war, BT, I'll give you a war. So jumping on... I mean, a number of people contacted me about this thing. And we can't vet who advertises

on this podcast. That is absolutely not true. We totally... We can. So totally, we can. So you said we could have BT ad. No, I just haven't put any preferences on what ads that can roll on. Well, can you tell them from now on

I don't want any BT adverts or Krispy Kreme adverts. What? What? I'm just saying. Okay, let me see if this changes your mind. Krispy Kreme, as a result of us talking about them so much,

have offered to send you a box of donuts for free them so much i've offered to send you a box of donuts for free now you've just said you've just said you don't want to you don't want to laugh for them or anything on the podcast so am i assuming because i've got a message sitting in my instagram right now going just let us know whenever tom wants a box of donuts of his choice we'll send them along now i'm assuming that you're because you're a man of his word and you've got integrity you will tell me now to reply to them saying no thank you tom no longer wishes to sample any of your work he's very disappointed with the pronunciation of your company name do you want me to just say do you want me to do that now shall i do it now i can in fact you know let me get my phone now you want me to do it now look listen i learned a lot from chin yeah from the last year

um from the last episode yeah far be it from me uh to you know if crispy cream and i've learned to say that recently i've um handed out an olive branch stroke big box of donuts and by the way this better be like like a buck old 20 of donuts I will I will say I'm prepared now to slink down my sword and I will walk away and let the dragon that is

Krispy Kreme go into its cage I don't understand what you're saying I'm saying that can you get the donut scent please so you now what you want me to say to crispy cream what do you want me to say to them about what you've been saying about their name well i've had to learn to say crispy cream now and actually someone on set yesterday said crispy cream didn't they and also you've

actually you sidled up to me yesterday with that thing that we've both seen quite a lot a lot of people hitting us up and thank you guys I love your support saying about cream egg Cadbury's themselves have said it's creme no they haven't this is the problem Cadbury's Twitter said that you're so naive

it's actually quite cute right god god it's actually quite cute. Go on, go on. No big business are allowed to do any tweets without someone getting the okay

from the owners of that company. Is that right? So what you're saying is every single tweet that comes from Cadbury's Twitter, the owners of Cadbury's

okay every single tweet? Is that what you're saying? Of course. Mate, seriously. So the people the owners of Cadbury's okay every single tweet is that what you're saying? of course mate seriously so the people that are running Cadbury's every what hour hour and a half

can I just check with something somebody's asking about the dairy milks going out to Tesco's in Weymouth I want to reply to them to say that they're on the way but I just want to about the dairy milks going out to Tesco's in Weymouth. Ken, I want to reply to them, say that they're on the way, but I just want to double check with you, the head of the company, whether it's okay to send that tweet.

Is that what you think happens? No, it doesn't work. This is where I've got to school you a bit. It doesn't work like that. What happens is they will go, just say, for example, it's someone called Michael who is doing the tweets. Or it could be a Sarah or a Luke, whatever. But they go in at the beginning of the week and go,

this is our projected tweets for this week. Can we get a sign-off? And then we're going to do this thing where we're going to say, we're going to basically say about Crete, it's actually not Cadbury's Crete, it's Cadbury's Creme Egg. So we're going to do that. Don't get me wrong, there's some stuff like the whole thing about, and hopefully the place in Weymouth or whatever you said,

it's dairy milks. But the fact of the matter is, that stuff is done ad hoc. They're not going to look after that, they're trusted. But when it's coming up with massive statements like the one that we've been shown this week, that definitely one for the head office that is definitely one okay okay okay now let's imagine uh that we exist in a world that for some reason uh cream egg is pronounced creme egg okay yeah and and and cadbury's become aware that everybody calls it Cremeg

and it's actually pronounced Cremeg. And what you're saying is that Cadbury's have decided as a strategy to correct everybody's pronunciation of Cremeg or Cremeg, rather than issuing a press release, rather than an advert to explain that, they've said, can you do a tweet reply to one person saying it's pronounced? Can you wait

for somebody to ask us how it's pronounced? Don't, no, no, no, don't do it. They're probably embarrassed. They're probably embarrassed. They're probably thinking, right,

I don't know who runs Cadbury's but let's do you know what just stop just stop because I thought I was having a real conversation there and then you said that

and I know that you're just being a prick now I'm not being a prick I'm saying that mate you can't just right you're telling me right

let's just use this as an example you Romesh get the job as Arsenal's head of Twitter right okay and then you turn around and go we're signing Lionel Messi yeah use this as an example. You, Romesh, get the job as Arsenal's head of Twitter, right? And then you turn around and go, oh, we're signing Lionel Messi. Yeah. Do you think you'd be allowed to do that? Not the same thing, but okay, go on.

No, it is, because Lionel Messi is the same as Cambridge Scream eggs. What are you all about? You can't put full stuff out there. If someone messages you and you're the head of Arsenal's twitter and they go excuse me arsenal twitter are we signing messi and you went yeah we're signing him next year you would be able to do that would you um no but but again this is a this is nothing to do with

what we're talking about it's like going uh well tom tom let me let me let me put it to you like this if you were uh walking on the street and you saw a dog shit would you eat it just answer the question would you no i'll rest my case it's not the same right the twitter is the face of a lot of these big companies mate that's how it works now so you can't you can't be putting out false information. It just doesn't work. Like, you know... We're going to have to agree to disagree on this. Guys, can you, again, can you get in touch? There's a second debate we've had in as many minutes, actually,

because we finished the last episode with a hot debate about... I don't know why I said hot debate, with a debate about an email. If you can email into wolfhourpod at gmail.com and let us know what you think about this. Also you are cabris obviously yeah we're gaining some you know big shout out to crispy cream um yes send me the donuts i'll eat them and then i will yeah if you want to organize a meeting or a sit down or something just to sort this out once and for all um i'm there and i'm i respect your bt there's no coming back i hate you i think you're disgusting unless of course you offer him free internet,

in which case he'll fold quicker than a fucking laundry. But lastly, Cadbury's, can you just get in touch? Maybe Cadbury's Twitter, just to say how much power you have there. And, yeah. Yeah. If Cadbury's Twitter happens to be, if the person in charge of Cadbury's Twitter happens to be if the person in charge of Cadbury's Twitter happens to be listening can you please email in to tell us how much power you've got

uh right next email uh this is this is specifically for you actually okay uh this is from Rob Jones uh Rob Jones says uh Tom who stuck the putter up the Harris in King Gary Big Gal or Little Ted I like to think they did it together and shared a little wink and then took the blame

for each other well you know what Rob you're sort of right you're sort of right I'm not I'm not anything I'm reading the email no no I said Rob

not Rob oh right yeah sorry Rob Jones actually one of my favourite England right backs played for Liverpool as well. Cool, cool, cool.

So, yeah, it was basically, yeah. The idea is that it probably was... Can you give a bit of background here to people? Because there might be people that haven't watched King Gary. So can you sort of give this a bit... This is from King Gary. Well, you said in King Gary. Yeah, and we're actually talking about this episode

because you went back and watched it recently, didn't you? I did, actually, yeah. Watched it yesterday. Yeah. The idea being that Teddy has... It was Big Gary who put a putter up the bum and Teddy has taken the blame for it because he didn't want his dad and his granddad arguing.

And also he wanted to be... He's bored of being involved in his dad's big tits. So yeah, it's very subjective though. A lot of people have said over time, they have different thoughts on what really happened. It's quite nice though, isn't it? It's a bit like the end of Inception. Do you know what I mean?

I never got to the end of that movie. I thought it was fucking awful. Oh my God. It just wasn't for me. As you're talking about films, by the way uh i watched capone and it's got a lot of kick-ins i actually quite enjoyed it okay so this is a segways go that was one show host suitable that have you seen it yet capone no i haven't but i'm a big fan of tom hardy i love so i just think so So go on, tell me, why are you suddenly...

Because by the way, just to give us a bit of context, you mentioned Capone yesterday and I saw a little sort of like cog sort of click across one notch in your head there and I should have known then he's going to bring this up

in the podcast. No, I genuinely enjoyed it. I actually thought, no, no, the reason that there was a little glimmer, no, because you and some of the girls yesterday were talking about

that show you've been watching. You and Vicky and I think Nicola and Anna were talking about... WandaVision. WandaVision. So, yeah, which I haven't watched.

It's not really for me. It's not, you know, and you, weirdly, when you said you'd been watching WandaVision, I said I've watched Capote and you said you've watched WandaVision.

So, I think you'd, I think you'd enjoy Capone. But a lot of people have been kicking... I put a thing up. It's the most kicking I've ever had on Instagram. What? That you said it was good? I said I enjoyed it.

I've got loads of people saying it's awful. It's terrible. It's the worst film I've ever seen. Okay. But what was your... Do you remember what your exact words were? I said I thoroughly enjoyed it. What?

The Capone. Okay, fine. I said I really enjoyed this. Well played, Tom Hardy. Okay. So you should not be allowed to get a kick in on that. Yeah, no, yeah. It's my opinion, right?

Because you've gone, I enjoyed this. Yeah. So you can't be wrong in that. No, no, no. You enjoyed it. If you go, I think Capone's the best film of all time, and people go, what the fuck are you talking about? You go, well, I am correcting that

in that I think that. Yeah. You might disagree. You might have a different favourite, but it doesn't matter. I find it bizarre that people found it that bad, though. I mean, I didn't think...

I think Tom Hardy is incredible at doing that sort of thing. I love him as an actor. Right. I mean, yeah. He's great, Tom. He's someone, by the way,

who's never sold out and done shitty adverts. No, but speaking of which which we had a number of emails about um beer 52 you fucking what you say that i'm the i'm the guy for that you are like that you threw that in yeah okay this is how the fuck in that situation we've just worked in right I've fucked my ass has slightly gone a little bit

on a fucking thing that I was trying to get into and I've realised I've bitten off more than I could chew right so we're on a snooker table right I'm standing over

the fucking last fucking last hole right I can put the I can fucking I can win the game and I've fucking missed

I've not only missed I've fucking probably fucking put in the fucking and I've fucking missed. I've not only missed, I've probably fucking putted the black and the fucking white, right? You've seen that weakness and you've grinned and you've fucking... Because I said to you yesterday, I'm a little bit worried because...

And by the way, beer 52, shout out beer 52. You told me that they were brilliant. You said that. Can I just step in, in Tom's defense now what we're talking about here is that tom has been quite vocal uh in um in talking about people advertising things that they don't that they're not involved in or they don't consume or whatever and then last week i don't know whenever it went out a beer 52 advert went out that we did we did a beer 52 advert for the podcast and people have gone does tom use beer 52 and i'm gonna i'm gonna stick up for tom here uh now when we first got the advert in tom hadn't

wasn't a member of beer 52 but he is now i've signed him up and he is shortly going to be uh the proud recipient of uh i don't know how many beers it is but you get a magazine and a snack don't you we're doing another fucking advert for him now yeah the point is yeah and look let me tell you what if i don't believe in what beer 52 stands for you've seen what i'm capable of there today, guys. You've seen what I'm about. What are you capable of? You've seen it. You've seen that. You know, I don't stand for any shit.

No, unless you're offered a free item and then you do stand for it. Not only do you stand for it, you fucking eat it. Next email is from, let me just double check on the old anonymous. Oh yeah, he specifically asked to be anonymous. Okay.

Ready? Uh, hi, Roman Tom. Many thanks for taking the time to make your podcast. I've really enjoyed listening to every episode and I'm a big fan of both. You were, can I just say something by the way, just while this reminds me,

we read out a fraction of the emails that we receive, but we read all of them. Yeah. Okay. So can I just say, if your email doesn't get read out, please don't think it's gone under unappreciated we love them so please do send them in and don't ever feel like it's a waste if you um if you haven't got had it read out okay i'm writing to you for some advice as i'm a university student living away from home and i found myself in an

awkward situation uh i live in a flat with only one other student since moving in together it's become very obvious my flatmate is not the sociable type spending almost the entirety of his day in his own bedroom initially i believe this is down to him just being very conscientious and focused on work which i'm all for however his time has gone on it's become increasingly evident he's intentionally taking any measure to avoid being in my company it's not a large flat i can hear him in his room watching youtube videos or on the phone laughing to friends anytime he comes up to the kitchen for food he wears big headphones to avoid potential conversation i understand and respect that Wow. It's left me wondering what I need to do differently to be more engaging or why he may have a problem with me. But nothing comes to mind. Being confrontational would only make the situation worse.

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while being intentionally friendly to him or over-accommodating feels very desperate and not appealing for someone you want to hang out with. And if I do nothing, it seems he'll be content with us barely crossing paths on a weekly basis. I know it's trivial. I would first of all say it's not trivial. He's asked to keep anonymous. We'll have to beat that up. And others are in far worse positions in lockdown. However, I can't seem to get around the fact that it'd be nice to have some face-to-face conversations

during lockdown. I think you guys would have some wisdom to share for the best way I could go about it. Okay, I'm going to give you the dignity that you've asked for and not say your name. So it doesn't have to be beeped out. So it's James Torrance, who's our brilliant editor some time.

Robert Shawsey doesn't respect him as much as I do so, my friend number one, I'm going to shout this out genuinely I massively feel for you here, because I would find the situation you are in

agonising and I don't think you're being oversensitive to what you're going through. Can I also say, and I think Romesh would agree, and I think anyone who's listened to this podcast, my thing would have been, I'd have made this 20 times worse by being as chatty as I could have been,

asking if he wants to come out for games of FIFA, ordering loads of Chinese food or like massive buffets of food so he'd potentially come out and eat with me and try to force my hand to be his friend. And then quickly as I'd done that, I would then sort of fall into a place where I'd realized that I massively disliked this person and it would become worse and worse because he

wouldn't have been seduced by my friendly advances um so what i'd say is it seems to me it's a very very very tough situation i'm i might be wrong on this i think standing back and thinking about it maybe like maybe it is worth just having like an actual conversation with him as to why he why he feels the way he does about you and why he he's acting that way it seems to me and like you know i don't like because i don't know the scenario and i don't know the situation it sounds to me like he's a massive fucking prick um wow no i'm just wow mate it's yeah i'm a friendly guy you know and beep also sounds like a really friendly guy and to to go in and not to engage at all or not you know to have big headphones on and then to sort of like be you know to not chat that just feels that feels

pretty harsh that feels pretty bad and i think that no one wants that sort of behavior. And I think that he should make some sort of effort just to go, look, mate, you know, da-da-da. In the morning, just have a chinwag, a little chat with him. Or in the evening, just to sort of, you know, 10 minutes of what this flatmate's time is going to mean a lot to our friend here who's written in.

And that's nothing, is it, in the scheme of things? So I think to completely ignore it. Look, I i will tell you now i've worked with people i've had friends of friends um i've been in so many situations where i've been an annoying person and i people have chosen to ignore me and i will tell you it's one of the harshest and worst things to go through as a human being because especially if you feel you haven't done anything wrong you you really start questioning yourself as a human being massively so you know that you've reached out i'm guessing you're doing that and i would say that it's no bearing on you you walk your own path go the way you're going brother um but you know and these are the most trying of times to be going through something like this um but you know and this is a silly old bit of advice that most of us are given

it's probably it's not you mate it's him so uh just remember that um i would echo a lot of what tom said i would say just in all seriousness it's a difficult one because it's possible it is possible not necessarily likely but it is possible that he has some sort of anxiety about you know there could be some underlying thing that makes him not want to talk to you right what i would say slightly undermines that is the fact that you can hear him on the phone laughing to his mates and stuff right but there might be something there might be some legitimate reason that isn't he doesn like you, that he's not talking to you. My inclination would be to almost be as frank with him

as you have done with us on this email and say to him, this is how I'm feeling. This is the situation. If you don't feel comfortable talking to me for whatever reason, then that's absolutely fine. But at least you'll know. If he says, no, no, no, not at all, and then continues to be kind of what appears to be rude to you then that is what it is do you mean but i think i sort of think there might there's something to be said

for having the actual conversation with him here because at the moment you're doing a lot of speculating and it's caused you enough concern to email us so that to me suggests it's a stressor And it's caused you enough concern to email us. So that, to me, suggests it's a stressor. So, you know, I'd kind of look into maybe trying to figure out what this guy's deal is. I mean, it might be that, yeah, it might be, as Tom said, that he's just a bit fucking rude. But it might be there's some underlying reason for it.

Do you know what I mean? You know, that he's going through something and talking to his friends who he's closer to than you with, you know, makes that easier or something and talking to his friends that he's close who he's closer to than you with you know it makes that easier or something i don't know i'm making shit up but i'm just saying is you know we don't know so at the moment you don't know and it's causing you a bit of sort of mental agony so i would sort of get into have a conversation with him but for sure yeah but also remember like this could be another thing is you know make him jealous tell him that you know we could put you down on the you know one of the things me and romesh well i've

been thinking of i forgot to say to romesh before this podcast but we could be in rubbish that we could do like a little tour around some of the people who've helped and come and have pints and sort of hang out so you could be like oh guess where i'm going uh yeah i'm gonna go and have a pint with tom and rom who helped me during lockdown and uh yeah so we're already sort of i think we're going to dublin we're going to a couple of other places to to catch up with some of the people we've helped uh on this podcast um so yeah you could be one of those bro what do you think rom yeah uh and also i would add to that on top of what tom said there none of what he just said is true. No.

It's so far from what Tom said. No, but look, if people are up for us doing this, please email in wolfowlpod at gmail.com. The fact of the matter is, I think it would be really cool to go and catch up with some of the people that we've helped along the way

and get a little photo album of us having a pint or a pie your your obsession with visual media for a podcast is absolutely fucking baffling no we could get you know like when you see people do those really cool like little sort of like um sort of album things on instagram or whatever and it could be sort of like yeah no i've never seen one of those. I think it's cool. I can imagine. Right.

It's you getting on the easy jet flight and you're like doing your, I'm annoyed. Right. And I'm laughing. And then it's us just having some fish and chips on a beach with one of the people we've helped. And yeah, Tom, Tom,

Tom, listen, I have got no issue with talking to people that have emailed into the podcast or people that listen to the podcast if you ever see me and Tom together or separately and you want to talk about the podcast please feel free to do so I'm absolutely fine that is a separate issue

to you and me doing some fucking Instagram album about memories like that is absolutely never going to happen but I think right you fucking kick it back, man. You've got, you know, Dermot Kennedy's playing, like, one of his songs playing, and it's sort of a bit rocky at places,

a little bit slow. Shout out to Dermot Kennedy. Love you, Dermot Kennedy. Big fan of him. And you just have that, you know? And that could be really, you know, it's me, you know, and fucking hell, the end of it is me and you just, like, on fucking Sydney Opera House or whatever,

and it's just like, we finally got here. It's just like, yeah. Why is that our destination? I don't know. It's a completely unearned ending, that. Why are we at Sydney Opera House? I get it. I get it.

I get it. That's stupid of me saying that. If there's anyone in Sydney or Australia who've got any problems, can you send in your advice? Because that would be a great end to the montage thing. I will put up what I think it could be like. There's this amazing thing. I find it one of the most uplifting videos on YouTube of this man who travelled around the world.

He went to every country in the world and he did the same dance. Have you seen it? No. It's beautiful. We'll put it up on the wall. I'm going to get it. We can put it up on the wall for Al. And I think me and you doing our version of that could be really fun.

So, yeah. We obviously need some more of that sweet, sweet beer 52 money. So if you want us to come to your town and do a dance that some bloke did at every place in the world, then please do email in. Okay. Next. Good luck, Anonymous, with that. I hope we've helped.

And again, can't wait to see what happens when we kick back and chat next email is from Anonymous again hi Rom and Tom absolutely loving the podcast new series of Ranganation Next email is from Anonymous again. Hi, Rob and Tom. Absolutely loving the podcast.

New series of The Ranganation and can't wait for the new series of King Gary. You two are hilarious as podcasters. Definitely brought me some much needed laughs over the last few weeks. Thank you very much for that. I wanted to ask your thoughts on lad chat. My husband is a lovely caring person who has good morals

and a progressive view of the world. That sounds a bit too lovey-dovey. So for balance, he's also annoying as hell. However, he has a few different WhatsApp groups with various male friends, where I know the chat can sometimes be pretty inappropriate. I've not snooped at his messages, but sometimes I see something pop up

or he tells me what someone has said. I don't know about how much he contributes to it, but I know he finds it funny and I don't know how i feel about it how can he seem like one way with me but then joke about awful things with his friends am i being completely ridiculous you have chats which shouldn't be deemed that right but it's just banter obviously this can open up a minefield of what you can joke about it's mainly the way they speak about women or race oh bloody hell geez yeah particularly bothers me thanks for

reading love you guys if you read this out please keep me anonymous in case any of his friends are listening. Tomo? Thanks for throwing that hot potato my way. I'd say that, number one, if it's treading on the toes of being derogatory towards women or racially, then I think, yeah, I don't think that's acceptable.

I think that the fact of the matter is, I think we sort of talked about this before and not to get too deep, but having sort of had sort of therapy and spoke to people who can give you some sort of insight in this, yeah, we are massively wide different. That's no piece of rocket science but i think

the fact of the matter is guys are always going to have different things that they joke about and and he's always going to have friends that you know he will he will be different with his mates you wouldn't want him to be exactly the same way with you as he is with his mates because the reason he's with you is because you you're his everything you know you're his family you're his wife you he loves you too i mean that's that's a very different relationship from the one that he'll have with his mates across a WhatsApp group. Um, I think the fact of the matter is,

I think I've been in WhatsApp groups that, you know, have trod the line, um, on sort of certain stuff. I think some of it, you know, you'll walk away from it.

It's a really difficult one, this, because I think a lot of the stuff that I'll do is stuff that I probably talk about with Romesh on this podcast with. It is genuinely toilet-based banter and stuff that is silly. But would I joke with my wife about some of that stuff? You know, at times, yeah. At times, no.

I think he's going to need different outlets to have that as and as as i sort of reiterate i think if that is if it is something that you look at and think well actually i find that pretty abhorrent as a sort of human being you don't like the stuff that he's talking about or um some of the stuff that his friends are saying and i think you're well within your rights to sort of mention that to him and say that i don't think that's correct and i think i think we can all fall back on this thing of saying oh we shouldn't joke about this and no one can joke about this or that and we can't joke about anything anymore and i think i sort of think that's bullshit really i think the fact of the matter is we're a lot wiser than we once were and i think we you can't you kind of have to be sort of held accountable for stuff that you might say that is going to hurt other people's feelings i think certainly if you're offended by stuff you should let them know that because as you're doing

him a favor uh in the end by telling him that so yeah it's it's a brave thing that you've done you yeah it's it's you know it's something that i've sort of said this before i think on here guys can we can be sort of not stupid but we can be sort of naive to how we can you know people can you know make other people feel you know and i think so unless you actually sort of held that up and go that this is what is you know this is what makes me upset and this is the stuff i don't like you're joking about you know he's not gonna leave the whatsapp group he can mute it but um yeah i wish um i actually think it's quite a complicated one um what i would say is is i've actually talked about this a bit in my in my this is it sounds like i'm plugging it but it sounds i talked about this in my last book where i think i think individual men uh who are mates of yours

you can talk to about anything and they can be sensitive and if you've got a problem they'll they'll be they'll openly chat to chat to you about it groups of men when men get together it's one of the most disgusting social things that you could ever possibly imagine. If I had a problem, a problem maintaining an erection, and I spoke to one of my mates about it on a one-to-one basis, he would be absolutely lovely about it, we'd have a chat about it, and I'd talk about my anxiety. If I said to a group of friends at a pub, I'm having a problem maintaining an erection, I would never be able to go out with that group of men again because there is something about men when they gather,

there's something in the ether that means you cannot show sensitivity. And that's getting better, but it's still the case. You can't show sensitivity, you can't show any of this. Now, with regards to whatsapp groups the truth is men have different faces I think do you know what I mean and like

I'm on whatsapp groups where people make jokes and I think I cannot fucking believe that people I hang out with find this funny I can't believe that people think this is okay right or think that this is even amusing it's so shit what they've sent right thinking that and putting on the group i actually think this is fucking off key those are two very different things right

i think your other half you you what you cannot do is hold him accountable for everything that gets posted on that whatsapp group right there is shit that will go down on those groups that he won't think is funny, that he won't agree with. Now, it's up to you on a personal level, whether, and I'm talking about him really, whether he should challenge something that he doesn't think is all right. For example, I've had a friend say something homophobic in the past, somebody that I consider a good mate, and they said something homophobic and I challenged him on it because i don't think it's cool do you mean and so and and and if that was a joke that's one thing but if that's a joke that stems from his views actually being that then we've got a bigger problem there or you know there's a bigger issue there so look i guess

what i'm trying to say is the long and the short of it is you're not being ridiculous uh you are right but at the same time please don't judge your other half on the sort of shit that's coming up in that whatsapp group do you mean and you know i i this thing about like race and misogyny and stuff that i always you always think to yourself i don't know what the fuck's been you know like there's loads of horrible shit that gets shared about you i mean what I mean? And a lot of the time, I guarantee you the number of times I've seen a joke get shared on a big WhatsApp group, where it's a big group of blokes.

And then I've met up with a couple of them separately and I've gone, did you not think that was like a bit fucking, that was a bit off key that, and they go, yeah, but I just didn't want to say that happened so much, man, whether that's right or wrong.

Yeah. I've had it this week. And whether that's right or wrong. Yeah, well, there you go. I've had it this week with a group and... Investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at Questrade.com. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping.

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Get a six-inch black forest ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. You know, not to get into specifics of it, but someone on that group has said something that was a bit off-key. And now there's like four splinter groups of people saying what a bell in this bloke is so it's um it's a weird it is a genuine i think and i spent i think

because you know lockdown and whatever and whatsapp has become so prevalent and us you know going through all that stuff people talk you know the way that people are there's an outlet i suppose for male and female people going out and being amongst people. I think that so much, I certainly find that with my wife and I think you're the same. I think all my interactions through this

have been with her, you know, with Catherine. So we do, you know, that's conversations, do you know what I mean? Certain,

you know, the jokes and whatever and so a lot of that changes your relationship massively because you haven't got the outlet of going, oh,

I'm going to go to the football or she's going to go and do this or I'm going to do that and whatever. You're just the two of you and that does, I think, change the outlet of going, oh, I'm going to go into the football, or she's going to go and do this, or I'm going to do that, and whatever. You're just a two of you. And that does, I think, change the dynamic of... Mate, that is a fucking great point.

Let's go out on that then and do another email. But listen, I hope that helps. The truth is, there's not a simple answer to that. But never let the trickiness of the situation stop the wolf on out from attempting to weigh in massively on an issue despite being hugely underqualified yeah next email this is from eleanor rogers ellie ellie i absolutely love the podcast just been listening on my morning walk before work i had had to write in after hearing Tom's stud finder drama. This is where you talked about buying this stud finder

and it kept beeping nonstop, so you threw it away. I had the same problem with the top reviewed one on Amazon. Oh, this is another thing I want to say. A couple of people have said, can you say the name of that company I just named? What, the company you've just named? Yeah, that you ordered the stud finder. Can I say which one it is? No, no, no. The website that I've just said, I literally just said. What, the company you've just named? Yeah, that you ordered the stud from. Can I say which one it is?

No, no, no. The website that I've just said, I literally just said the word, but I don't want to say it again. The big website that people buy every one shit for. Yeah, I think so.

I said it last time. No, no, no. Begins with A. Yeah, yeah. I literally just said it. How do you pronounce it? Amazon. Right.

So apparently I pronounce it weird. How do you say it? Have you noticed that? No. I wish I fucking had, but I haven't. How do you say it? Have you noticed that? No. I wish I fucking had, but I haven't. How do you say it? Amazon. I go Amazon.

Oh, yeah. It's Amazon. It's Amazon. Everyone knows that. Amazon. No, but for some reason, I've got into the habit of when it's... What are you looking on your phone, Bob? I'm trying to find the name of that stud finder.

No, you don't need to find the name of it. You don't need to specifically drill down on this, all right? No, I'm just going to tell people, do never buy the stud find the name of it. You don't need to specifically drill down on this, all right? No, I'm just going to tell people, do never buy the Studfinder TacLife DMSOS 4. Okay, so I'm hoping that this isn't the one that Ellie's talking about. But anyway, I had the same problem with the top... Is it the top-reviewed one on Amazon? I mean, it's got 5,219 reviews, and it four stars on that okay not not what i asked but all right

so i had the same problem with the top reviewed one on amazon and couldn't work out why it beat to everything right so it sounds like she's had the same problem with you check the instructions turns out it's supposed to be when it finds a wall stud i've got brick walls and so it thinks the entire wall is a stud. There is, however, a teeny tiny light in the top corner that lights up for pipes. It's very difficult for me, this one, Ellie, because whilst you'd be very helpful there,

I actually still think that's a massive design flaw. I don't want it beeping at everything. Do you know what I wanted? That sweet, sweet sound when it hit a pipe and it beeped. Not beeping at everything, now I've got to look for a light. It's not making my life any easier. No, you're right.

I mean, there is definitely a problem there, but that doesn't detract from the fact that you broke a perfectly good stud finder. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And also the fact that I didn't look at the instructions. Can I just say something? I feel it's such a shame. Actually, we can.

We're filming. We're recording this. Yeah. I'm going to put out the clip of your face when I told you that because it's one of the best things you've ever done in our friendship. That's going out. We've clipped it up. Hope Tom didn't actually break his.

Did you actually break his? Yeah, I didn't. I threw it in the bin. Take care of yourselves and be nicer to yourselves. You're both sweet souls. All the best, Ellie. Thank you so much for emailing. And can I just say, I'm absolutely delighted you got in touch.

Yeah. Okay. Next email is, she's not said to keep her anonymous, but I'm going to. Listening to the discussion about inner voices really made me laugh. As an only child, for as long as I remember, I can remember, I've talked to myself both in my head and out loud. My inner voice sounds very similar to Tom's. I assume that means the words and not the actual voice.

As I constantly berate myself for being stupid, fat, and useless. During the lockdowns, I've been homeschooling my eight-year-old alongside working full-time from home. We struggled and muddled through with her working across the dining room table for me until we were eventually allowed to form a childcare bubble and then my parents started helping. All was good until she got some schoolwork wrong at my parents and started yelling at herself.

An awkward conversation my parents followed as they wanted to know why she was calling herself a fucking useless piece of shit and me having to admit that she'd been listening to me talk to myself i've now muted my talking out loud when she's around otherwise i'll be getting a call from a teacher next week uh there's no question really there she just sort of uh sharing a little story there if anything just some advice just to give her some advice no she's given us advice which is what don't try and hide your inner voice

from actually being loud because yeah that's the that's the that's the opposite of what she's saying she's muted now

yeah yeah that's what I'm saying we all should try and mute it a little bit oh I see right okay yeah like I genuinely like do you know what

I'm very much looking forward to the day that I can go out on the golf course again. Very much so. But there's a part of me that thinks that thing of me yelling at myself and berating myself for being pathetic

and awful at a sport that I... I'm not even being forced to play something. But I've stood there and called myself all sorts of names. I am going to take this sweet, sweet soul's advice and next time I'm out there, I'm just going to think, yeah, what would she do?

We can't say her name. But thank you. It's seldom that we do this on this podcast and maybe this is something that we should implement more is, yeah, sometimes we teach, but actually we can learn through our teachings. And that's probably the deepest thing I've ever said. Well, that's lovely.

Can I just say, I've actually got what I think is some practical advice for this in terms of inner voice. A good thing to do, and it's quite difficult to do, but you should actively try and do this and it's helped me is actually deliberately uh use a kind inner voice and actually sort of you know the times you normally berate yourself actually go deliberately flip it so that your your inner voice is being kind about yourself sort of think about the things that you're doing you know be positive think about what you know rather than going i can't believe i'm so shit at this you know change

your inner voice to say something like i've given this the best the best go that i can and all i'm trying to do is be better at this i'm not quite there yet but i'm gonna keep trying and i'm gonna get better and it's good it's good that i'm trying you know like change your inner voice and actually what you find is that's a better way than trying to block the thoughts out. Trying to block the thoughts is just fucking impossible. Oh, that caught kind of deep there,

didn't it? Very deep. Very surreal. Uh, should we do, let's do one more. Yeah. Okay.

Let's hit it up. Uh, hi, Ramesh and Tom. This is from Jamie. I appreciate that you might not be the first point of call for most people who are experiencing behavioral problems with their dog i don't know if either of you have a dog have you listened to this podcast i mean tom literally pretended to be

one for 20 minutes however having listened to your podcast and the solid advice that you give out to people experiencing issues i thought i'd get in touch firstly you should know that i didn't used to be a dog person i didn't have anything against them they just weren't for me the reason i now have a dog is because my wife and two children love dogs for two years i managed to put the purchase off and hold firm on my stance that dogs are a big commitment and i didn't think the family were up to it things changed when i found my son crying himself to sleep one night and asked him what was wrong he replied well we will never have a dog i don't know why i did that voice i concluded that i didn't want my children to look back on their childhood

and blame me for a lack of a dog in their life. We decided we'd get a dog, but with a clear understanding it was going to be their dog and not mine. I didn't want to be burdened with the responsibilities that a four-legged friend would demand. Everyone agreed that they would be the ones that looked after it and walked it every day.

As I write this, I've returned from my 650th solo dog walk in the last 12 months. Things have not gone to plan and although the family all love the dog, the burden of the twice-daily dog walk now sits firmly on my shoulders. I've tried to push back on my family

and plead for them to take more of the responsibilities, but this has always resulted in the same answer, that dog walks are stressful. I knew it. He's quite angry in this next paragraph. I knew it. I bloody knew that if we got a dog, I'd be the one walking it

and pulling the occasional piece of undigested string hanging out of his ass. Don't get me wrong. I now love this dog, but I loathe his attitude when we're out in public. He's a bully. I know there'll be people listening or say there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. Well,

you haven't walked my dog. I've tried all the training tricks. I've been patient, but I blame his lack of social etiquette on COVID-19. The dog has had barely any human interaction outside of our family. And those he has have seen from a distance. His opportunities for socialisation

have been limited. So I ask you, it sort of goes on a bit longer, but I'm going to cut to the chase. So I ask you for two parts of advice.

How can myself and my dog rebuild the confidence of the local community and how can I convince my family to take on more of the dog walking responsibilities?

I anxiously await your suggestions. Now, I'm handing straight over to Tom here. Yo, Jamie. How you doing, bro? Big T here, stepping in on the dog problem. Look, man, firstly, I would say the best advice I got when I was getting a dog was to do puppy training classes because it is, mean this might be too uh too far back for

you now but it does give the dog a chance to sort of integrate with different people and dogs um so it means that it doesn't have those social issues personally my dog has so many problems when it comes to like anxiety uh hay fever um that's just having a dog bro i think you really got the i think the truth of it and i i struggled with this a bit at times and when when we first had it was really bond with the dog and enjoy that time i love going like that's been one of my favorite bits about lockdown has just been spending time just going out with the uh with the dog going out with my three of us but spending time time and I think weirdly during this lockdown my relationship

with my dog has got so much closer because you're with him all the time. I'd say as well I think when it comes to the rest of the family I think you need to you don't need to be pushed it was their choice they wanted to get a dog that was the thing that they all dreamed of having I think you need to push the

fact that it's one of the best things about having a pet i think as with a young family this is i haven't got a young family but it's that responsibility of like this is something we all have to do i think you know when you have a pet with a dog i think you'll get out and you'll get walking because you have to because that's when once you sort of sign up to having a pooch that's the thing that the sort of deal you make is that you've got to be going out and taking it out because you know you're its guardian so to speak so uh i'd say it feels that none of this should be the dog's fault by the way it's none whatever the dog is doing whatever he's going through that is that's because of how that how it feels within the structure of your family.

And dogs will pick up on everything. They're very absorbent to that. So I think making sure the dog feels loved and making sure the whole family feel that. It's not a hindrance having to take him out. It shouldn't have to feel that because it will. If you're like, oh, we've got to take him for another walk, it'll feel those things. I will also be a big, big've got to take it for another walk, it'll feel those things. I will also be doing a big, big shout out

to Dogs Behaving Badly, which is my favourite show on Channel 5. So it's worth watching. Have you seen that new one on Netflix? No. Canine, I don't know. I might watch that straight after this. Anyway, Jamie,

I can't give you any advice about how to bring up a dog. We're getting a dog later on in the year, but I can tell you that tommy tommy loves his dog so his advice is coming from the heart what i would tell you is regards to your family your family being out of line there mate do you mean because the dog needs walking they asked you to get a dog and now they know that if they don't want the dog that you will you you've got you've got to put a foot down there, mate. And I'm not talking about because it's annoying to walk the dog.

You have to walk that dog. It's not that dog's fault that it's ended up with your family. I don't mean that's a bad thing, but I mean, you know, the dog hasn't chosen to come there. You know, you've got this dog, and as a family, you're responsible for walking it. So you've got to push that back on them do you know i mean and even if that means uh you refusing to walk the dog and seeing how

they deal with that i think you need to i think you need to sort of push back on that a bit mate so anyway look it sounds like you're a bit stressed out i hope uh that situation sorts itself out in all likelihood we'll probably cut this email out of the, uh, out of the edit because I'm absolutely distraught at the shitty advice I've given. Plus our internet's been, my internet's been cutting out the whole time. So, um,

you know, if this has made it into the final edit, it's a real dumbing indictment of the other stuff we've done on this. Uh, so thank you very much, uh, guys, we're about to crash here.

So we've got, we've got to end this. But Tomo, any final... You don't have to take us out, but you've just got a little final sentiment you want to... Final thoughts is please just keep on with the emails. We generally get a rushing kick out reading them. And it's just nice to touch base with people who've been listening to me and my best bud

and Edwin Lings. I've been Tom Davis, a.k. and our twin links i've been tom davis aka the wolf he's been ramish frankie nathan aka the owl and it's all right it's all right it's all right if you have a problem, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

Thank you.