Wolf and Owl - Bonus Email Episode #8

Episode Date: March 26, 2021

We tackle… toenails and trench foot, hip hop names and F-bombs, tajin recipes, van voiceovers, growing up tall, coping with a naturally sulky face and a British remake of The A Team. Plus, a 100 meters charity running race challenge is on! Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping.

Impressive, innit? The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello, welcome to the Wolf and Albonus podcast episode. Tom Davies is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to go through your emails and try and issue some advice. So this is Lisa's first week. We're going to go through your emails and try and issue some advice. So this is Lisa's first week.

Well, I didn't let her look at it completely on her own because I thought it would be good to scaffold it a bit. Do you know what I mean? Oh, so you were like her boss? I wasn't like her boss. I wasn't like her boss. We just sort of went through them together. How are you when you're doing stuff like that with her? Does she sort of we went through we went through them together how are you like when you're sort of doing stuff like that with with her is does she sort of like respect you when you're

because obviously that is your domain you're like this is how we work for the emails and this is how i do them was she like that seems like or was she like this is a really awkward way of doing it she it'd be easier if you did so basically what happened so how i normally do this is i'll have like i'll open up two word documents and uh and i was just sort of like start going through the emails and pasting them in some i'll put in for the main episode and some i'll put in for the bonus and you know you sort of read through and pull them out and as i was showing her how i did it she just said to me you know this is like such an inner basically my i don't know what your laptop's like but my laptop has got a thousand fucking tabs like

so it's so messy so like as i'm trying to navigate through i go oh god i've lost the document again and like you know it's in with a load of other shit i haven't closed properly and i can feel her sort of just getting less and less attracted to me because do you know what i mean like because you just sort of think this the way this guy but basically my laptop looks like you know the guy who stole the embryos in jurassic park yeah it looks like his desk i mean it's just a fucking state i mean so it was it was actually quite we actually both established that this would have been a lot better if she'd been doing this from the beginning to be honest with you yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I just also say, the opposite of a shout-out,

to people that have been knowing that Lisa is starting to read the emails, going, hey, Lisa, how you doing? And all that shit. Right? Tacky. Very tacky. If you're thinking about doing that, please just, I think you know what to do.

What? Well, a sweet soul picture. Oh, fuck. Has Lisa seen any of those? Yeah, she has. So you've managed to waste my wife's time as well as mine now. No one's put them on the Wolf and Owl pod,

have they? No one's added the Wolf and Owl pod with those pictures. No, and I hope they continue not to, to be honest with you. Okay. You ready for some emails? No, just quickly. This isn't an email. No, to be honest with you okay you ready for some

emails just quickly this isn't an email no just to sort of say I had a really I cut my toenails today it's the first time I've done it for ages

because I usually have a pedicure how long how long how long how long I would honestly say probably about

two three months oh my god how long were they quite long it was like I'd probably have to go up like a shoe size Honestly say probably about two, three months. Oh my God. How long were they? Quite long. It was like I probably had to go up like a shoe size. But also they were starting to curl up a bit. What I really wanted to do is try and hold out until I could go and get a pedicure.

Okay. And have quite long toenails. And the person just really, you know, like when it feels when I get like a belt sander out or something. I just thought I would make them really, they've got something really, like a really great before and after picture. Yeah, but hold on. But you're doing King Gary at the moment.

Yeah. So you're getting changed in front of people and stuff. Aren't you worried about people seeing your fucking face? That's one of the reasons I had to do it as well. What happened? Did somebody see? Yes. Obviously, quite a lot of King Gary, I'm to do it as well. What happened? Did somebody say? Yes. Obviously, quite a lot of King Gary, I'm sort of derobed, shall we say.

Yeah, and I noticed someone the other day. No one said anything, but I noticed someone sort of staring at my little toe. I genuinely had like a prison blade on the end of my fucking little toe. It was probably about that long at the end, like half of that. What is it? First of all, Grandma, you've got to show it to the fucking camera.

Grandma! Grandma! Right, okay, I'm going to do it with this. This is easier. I reckon it was like that at the end of my toe jesus christ i mean i don't want that's probably a cut yeah it was yeah and it was starting to curl up and and then and then when we were in bed like katherine was out like oh god this is so horrible this morning and then

Horrible. This morning. What did you say about the least sexiest thing you try to go through? I tried to be really cool this morning. I cut my toenails before we... And I went downstairs and went, just so you know, I've cut my toenails. Oh, God. Just lying in bed, that poor woman,

feeling your fucking talons on her legs. At Jurassic Park. But have you had a pedicure before? Yeah, I had my first one just before lockdown. I've never had it before because, well, because it just didn't occur to me as something that I'd ever have. Do you know what I mean? But one of Lisa's mates runs a little

salon, and so... Shout them out, mate. Shout them out. I can't remember the name of the... Oh, fucking hell, mate. Her name's Jackie. She operates at Crawley. I can't remember what the name of the salon is. Guys, just Google Jackie Spa Crawley, and you'll find it.

But by the sounds of things, it's one hell of a place. It is great. It is great. I wish I wish i remember the name so i went along with lisa once like pre-covid and i had a pedicure there was a there was a little bit of an awkward moment i'll be honest with you where she sort of i had like a i had like a it was wonderful by the way it was absolutely wonderful but i was having like a foot bath you know and sort of exfoliating the feet or whatever and at one point she said move your feet from here to here sort of while i was still sat down and i very nearly like kicked her straight in the fucking face yeah yes you've got to be careful of that it was so difficult to avoid doing that i wondered if it

was engineered deliberately i thought maybe it'd be it was like a prank by them you know because the way she did it goes she just moved in so close she goes right lift your feet it was so hard for me to not boot her straight in the in the mouth uh and then to be honest it was then very difficult for me to enjoy the rest of the pedicure because i was so embarrassed about that having happened i couldn't properly relax but, my feet looked impeccable. Mate, it's the feeling. The first one I had was after I'd been working at festivals and stuff and it'd been an awful sort of summer of rain and cold weather.

And I actually had trench foot. What a lovely experience for the person at the salon. I would have got this done sooner but i wanted to wait till my feet were really fucking rank and i'd like a zings before i came here for you have a look at them no but no when i went in because it was a rain you're wearing like wet socks all the time right yeah yeah i'm not like you i'm not fucking the guy who spent his whole life working in plimsolls i'm fucking i've had to go out of graph mate i can wear a pair of converse it's fucking 1998 this is like mate i've

been out of work boots mate still toe caps so there's no breathing and but they did look at my feet and she shook her head and then she just went and got like a manager who did them in the end oh no really yeah yeah but But since then, I try regularly to have my feet done. And it is just genuinely like an absolute blessing and I thank you. When I was about

maybe like 13, 14, no, I must have been about, yeah, no, 14 I reckon. Yeah.

I remember my mum and dad were going, they're at this, like they're at their friend's house and a load of like the Sri Lanka community had gone round there. There's like a party thing going on.

My brother and I were out and just fucking about, and we're supposed to turn up to this thing, this get-together a bit later on. Mum and Dad said we had to make an appearance, because otherwise we were going to offend their friends. So a bit later on in the evening, we wandered over there, but it started pissing it down with rain, like absolutely tipping it down.

We're walking over to these people's house. And we got there. And when we got there, we were fucking drenched, right? And they said, I'll take your shoes and socks off because you're absolutely soaked. So I don't think I'd cut my toenails. Like maybe in years. Oh, Jesus.

They were like fucking... You talk about steel toe caps. My toenails had formed their own sort of toe cap. Over there. And I took my socks off and I sat next to a girl. And she, honestly, mate, she looked down at my feet with the same disgust that you would look at racism. It was...

Were you quite... What was your personal hygiene like back then? Do you know what, mate? Like, it's such a weird thing because it sat in such contradiction to everything else about me. I have always been, since I was a little kid, obsessed with personal...

I've got to say, this week, you smelt amazing on set. Are you taking the piss now? We had to do a scene where I got very close to you. COVID, obviously, we've been both COVID tested, but I had to get very close. I got a whiff of you. I was like, fuck was like man this guy just smells amazing it's not nice no genuinely you've been up early that morning i was like

anyway um yeah i'd always been like i've always been properly on top of like hygiene to the point where like is this weird i think environmentally this is unsound. I went through a phase of like having a, and there's no reason particularly, but like sort of having an early evening pant change. Is that a weird thing? Yeah, I think that's fine. Yeah. I sometimes have a shower in the evening,

depending on how I feel. I do, I love that. I love that. I don't think environmentally we're allowed to talk about this, Tom. Yeah, but also, but we all, me and you are very like not just me and you but our whole generation like links has caused the hole in the ozone layer like all because we all use so much of it that's what that's that's a fact do you still use links i have actually got the links um the special links that links marmite that they did yeah so you you've got that haven't you yeah yeah, I've got that, yeah. I use it as a jacket.

And was it, does it smell of Marmite? You can notice, do you want me to wear it? When are you in? Wednesday. I'll wear it Wednesday for you if you notice it.

Okay, but, okay. Can I just say something? Can you not, because what you'll do now is you'll start fucking number one on the call sheet, start parading around the set going,

Rom's demanded, like, you know how you like the sort of bully boy tactics you do whenever I'm on. No, what I was going to do is put you in a headlock for a bit with it, with it on. So if you could smell it. Yeah. Okay.

Should we get to some emails? Uh, okay. This is from, uh, Adam Harvey. Uh, we sort of talked about this in the last podcast,

but anyway, it doesn't matter. Adam Harvey, first off, you were solid on Ant & Dec, highlight of the show. Wow, man. I don't know why I read that out loud. We can cut that out. Let's cut that out.

No, don't cut that out. That's nice, man. I've been wondering this for a while. If you two were to have hip-hop names, what would they be? And if you had a rap battle, who would win? My mind is on one,

but prove me wrong, Tom. Love to party, keep it last. That is a ridiculous question. That's literally like, who'd win in a fight between us? Who'd be the fastest runner? Okay, what would be your two answers to those? Me, for both of them.

Fastest runner? Yeah. I would beat you in a running race. Now listen, in a fight, I'm going to tell you this now, you would snap me

like a fucking twig. I've got no doubts about that, right? In a running race, I'm deceptively quick. What, it'd have to be a fucking incredible deception

for you to be quicker than me. If you want to do, and I will fucking throw down a challenge now, and we can do it next week. Okay. You want to do it, right, so this will will come out friday yeah so you're in at the weekend we'll do a running race mate yeah all right fine we will do a fucking running race 100 meters we got that

in you i think i've got 100 meters in me yes wait don't bite off more than you can suck okay no seriously boy because the thing about this question is like i like hip-hop right but i i i'm you know romesh is an incredible romesh is genuinely a very good like mc he can rap i'm not i'm not i'm not but we've all heard it you're being that you you can do that i can't i've tried to do that by the way on a tv show i did a thing where i'm obsessed i like country music right and i actually like uh like the countryside of hip-hop little nas x yeah i literally died on my hole and realized how hard it is to actually rap i think country music's kind of you just think about a bit about heartbreak and stuff i love i love that vibe right love a bit of willie nelson on the flex

right the action but but rapping is hard really hard when did you say when did you generally can do it i did it on a show called live at the electric a few years back and we the whole joke was we did a thing called which is country music fused with hip-hop and we did a thing called cunt hop which is country music fused with hip-hop and uh so i'd written raps and tried to rap along and there was a live studio audience and like every night i come off and think i genuinely want i wanted to go and buy the whole audience a beer because i'd be actually pretty funny up until i had to do the rapping bit and then that would take honestly about 15 takes in front of the live studio audience so here i've got a question so every time when you do those kind of shows we have this in rangan nation one of the biggest problems we have in rangan nation is the number of times i say fuck right it's a bit it's a big issue for that not a big issue they're very nice about it because

you're sort of in the moment or whatever but they're only they have to justify fucks on tv right so so for example you know they'll they'll always give me a little reminder rom try not to say fuck too much i mean not in a horrible way but you just gotta keep them down do you mean otherwise like you get complaints right but so but but you can there's such a thing as we start talking about earned fucks and unearned fucks, right? So sometimes a fuck will be in a punchline and it makes the punchline better and it's properly funny, or saying fuck off at the end of a really strong sentiment, it's the perfect thing.

You go, that is an earned fuck. Whereas throwing it in conversationally in the same way that you and I do when we're chatting. I'd actually argue that you and I probably swear more when we're not doing this even do you know what i mean then yeah yeah i might yeah i try and hold down swear by the way even stan who's like close friend of mine you know stan who's this yeah big listener he who is a big massive swearer himself said oh this week's podcast there was a you there was a set was a conversation you were on the chat when the like basically swore four times within a sentence to each other i was like wow like there's a part of

me that actually oh wow that's pretty impressive but i and now i've started noticing it when me and you just talk in life i know i was standing there chatting to you the other day and then realized that i was like in front of the kid actors we're both pretty decent but in front of other people normal people i'm like we that's savage amount of sweat i know i know i know i know man but look it is what it is i mean the problem is i've got a much more relaxed attitude to swearing than than other people um yeah and also i think i think it sounds worse from some people than other people like for example, Lee Evans Lee Evans people, huge

one of the biggest acts this country has ever produced people love Lee Evans, I love Lee Evans and he's seen as like a family comedian you watch his stand up I mean, he drops the F-bomb so much but you don't notice it.

Do you know what I mean? It's so funny like that. Whereas with other comics, you properly hear it when they're saying it. When we did Murder Successful Series 2, we used 70%, I think 70% of our whole series swear allowance on just Vicky Patterson. And she's an amazing swearer, Vicky Patterson. She's an incredible swearer, but she doesn't say anything without swearing.

So we literally used 70% of the whole show, like the whole series, and everyone else was coming in, and you're having to go, look, you're really going to have to, because Vicky's filmed her episode, and we won't have an episode if we don't start using more of that allowance.

If you go back and watch it, it's quite evident. I always wondered that about Thick of It, because Thick of It, in terms of written swearing you want you want to see swearing done well yeah watch thick of it man it's it's incredible but i can't believe they got away with it man so much swearing in that show also the the scottish like i'd say bridges and connelly swears so well we've both got quite harsh accents so swearing sounds worse in our mouths.

Yeah. It sounds, I think it sounds coarser coming from us. Do you know what I mean? Like it's a sort of, if you, if you, if you didn't know us and you heard us having a conversation on the train,

it'd be the sort of thing where people would move away or sort of, you know, there'd be no index to each other. Like, Oh God. And also me and you sound a lot more stupid when we swear. Like you think that we were there's a lot of things i think we've got in common i've got not sure i feel about i mean

let's get back to the actual crux of of uh the question so what romesh is a better rapper i would definitely beat him in a fight and the race is on um what we should do is probably maybe have a um maybe some money that goes to charity on the sort of yeah I'll give a five as a charity or something well I was going to say 50 quid or 100 pounds so well I was going to say like 200 pounds well okay so 200 pounds it is

and we'll give that to Mind a charity that we both love and okay so this is on people get in touch we'll do this probably at the weekend on Saturday or Sunday. The running race is on. Actually, we could do it.

There's a lot of options. Let's just see what the heat is on this race because I know people are going to be interested and I know, yeah, who do you think is going to win? Okay. Alexander Murphy. Hey guys, love the podcast. Mum and dad are obsessed with King Gary

and my sister, a passionate veganism advocate, is obsessed with Romesh. If you give Caitlin Murphy a shout out, she'd be thrilled. Hello, Caitlin Murphy. Now, this sounds like I'm about to have a go at... Caitlin, big shout out to you and well done for doing what you do in this animal welfare charity at 18. It's great.

It has reminded me, however, of a thing that went completely the other way last week for me on Facebook. I just want to talk about, right? Okay. So I'm involved. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. Free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals

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All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less the happy stack, only at CUDO! Conditions apply in this charity free shop we talked about this on set behind your back so free shop in Crawley, shout out to them they do this thing for vulnerable families in Crawley

where people who can't afford groceries and stuff they turn up and they have they go into a supermarket and they get this stuff for free from donations and stuff like that. So obviously charities are struggling. And I said, I'd, I'd get involved and happy to help them out.

Right. And people, by the way, people are asking how they can donate to it, but loads of different areas, you know, if there's food banks and stuff all over the country. So it's a good thing to donate to at the moment.

So, and anytime, but particularly now. So anyway, I got involved in this charity and they said to me do you mind sharing stuff because it'd be good to get a bit of attention to it i said yeah whenever you want to share a post just let me know send it to me right so easter coming up they were worried about families not being able to afford easter eggs their kids. So they put up a post. It's a photo of a load of Easter eggs. It says, can you donate? They've got three supermarkets in Crawley that were collection points.

Can you donate Easter eggs to these supermarkets? And then they tagged me and said, Romesh, could you share it? So I shared it. I come back to that post a little bit later. There's a woman going, I can't believe as a vegan you would promote Nestle. Because there's a few Nestle eggs in the thing. And then there's another woman going, for someone that claims to be a vegan, find it pretty disgusting that you're promoting dairy products on your thing.

So I saw it. I saw the comments and I deleted them. Because I just thought, this is just a thing where I want people, like I'm just trying to encourage people to donate Easter eggs, right? I don't want this to be a thing where like this people... Anyway, that is apparently the worst, not apparently,

that turned out to be the worst thing I could have done because what happened was is whoever I deleted and blocked has told her vegan network that I've done that. And so then my fucking page gets like well it did get swamped actually with like

vegans going Romesh claims to have morals but he's doing this it doesn't matter that it's for charity it's absolutely disgusting exploiting animals and then you get and then off the back of that you get other people go fuck you vegans this is ridiculous and it just went off it went off when I said i saw it i saw one one guy early on because that popped up on

my facebook page and it was one guy who went um you have to basically uh announce that this is an advert oh my god yeah sponsored you have to say this is sponsored and you were like no this is a charity thing and then he went oh my bad and then he's basically quite a few people went why did you know well done for apologize it and then he seamlessly seemingly had apologized but then put the boot in on you i know which i almost felt compelled as your power to sort of because i was so i was with mark mcqueen who's um who drives and shout out to mark queen the podcast. I absolutely couldn't live my life without him. Top guy, top pal. And me and him were like,

wow, this guy's gone too far. He put his foot in his mouth. You basically calmed the whole thing down. He said, oh, I apologise. And then he went in, he doubled down on what he was saying. I know, I know. He said something like,

it was really lazy of you to not explain that this was a charity thing. And he's sort of saying that the reason he made that mistake was because of me being lazy or whatever. But it just descended into madness, right? And the thing is, I understand where those vegans are coming from. I do. I get it. If you feel passionate about that, I get it. What I would say is all they did was solidify people's distaste towards vegans.

Do you know what I mean? It's exactly the fucking reason why people immediately shut off to the whole idea of veganism and think, I don't want to get involved in that. It's because of people like that who fucking make it so militant. It's just, that's why normal vegans get the piss taken out of them because of people like them. What I would also say, though,

is that I had shared a previous post from that charity, and it had got like 200 likes or whatever, and this one got 2,000. So they actually helped quite a lot. So what I would like to say is, please do donate eggs. And, you know, can you donate some with extra dairy, please, just to fuck these people off? Yeah, because if there's one thing you really don't want at Easter,

it's a vegan Easter egg. Haven't been bought one of those a couple of years ago. It was a mistake. I can tell you now that they're, yeah. And if anybody can find any sort of meat eggs, I suppose those would just be eggs, wouldn't they? I mean, eggs are non-vegan. I was going to say, I didn't want to jump on the fact that, you know,

you were a bit, but that felt like my perfect time to go, they are just eggs rubbish. By the way, I saw a thing called Armadillo eggs. Have you heard of them? No. Do you ever watch these American barbecue shows? Yeah. Why would you watch them?

Excuse me? Like barbecue meat. That's just like, it sounds like sort of like a bit, I don't know, it sounds a bit pervy, like, because you don't eat meat. You just sort of sit there watching, saying you can't have. Okay, first of all. Like a vicar watching porn. First of all, I just caught a clip of this,

something had been shared on Facebook. Second of all, second of all, if I wanted to watch a, don't make it out like I fucking watched snuff porn. No, it's just a bit creepy. Like, that's happening. How is it creepy? No, because, like, us meat eaters are sitting there going, oh, fucking hell. Okay, well, you stop watching gardening shows then. no it's just a bit creepy like how is it creepy no because look us meat eaters

are sitting there going oh fucking hell okay well you you stop watching gardening shows then stop watching anything with vegetables mate I'll tell you what

the moment you catch me watching a gardening show my friend take me out and fucking dig me dig a hole in the garden and just throw me in it you could have

a titch mask mate I can't believe I called that you can stop watching gardening shows then you're not allowed to watch mate I can't believe I called that you can stop watching gardening shows then you're not allowed to watch shows

you can't even watch them anymore you're not allowed to watch farming programs vegetable farms you're not allowed to watch vegetable

farms you're going to have farming programs anyway so that's not what I meant to say

Caitlin Murphy big shout out to you setting up an animal welfare charity at 18 that is pretty big up

big yourself up now so anyway this person goes on this person is alex uh goes on to talk about taheen which uh you remember i talked about uh last week we shared a clip of it the mexican it wasn't i said it's t-a-h-i-n but it's t-a-j-i-n yeah uh. Now, Tom, first of all, before we carry on. Also, just for anyone listening, obviously within the Spanish language, J is basically H. That's why I've almost got it wrong.

Yeah. Thank you, Tom, for sort of backing me up there. What I'm going to say to you now, Tom, is I am actually ordering some tajin for you. I'm going to get it sent to your house. And we are on the next podcast. We're going to have a little taste thing. That'll be a nice little thing for us to do. What, on the Fridays

one? Yeah, that'll be nice to do. Very exciting. Anyway, this person has given us a recipe. I don't know why I'm reading out a recipe, but let's go for it. Thank you, Alex. So I used to work as a cook in a lovely Mexican restaurant near London Bridge and would often use a little bit of, would often enjoy a little bit of fruit dipped in tajin. Was it chiquillos?

It doesn't say. I'm literally reading the same information that you're hearing. So I used to, you sort of asked me a question as if I could now ask, I don't have Alex here with me. I'm reading an email. I'm not sure which one it was. Okay. Here's a more savour still delicious pop a couple of corn cobs on the barbecue and black i'm already with him i'm with him i'm with him i'm already know i wouldn't know you put that you put the

i mean fucking hell mate that's that's what he's he is that what he's saying though yeah he's stepping in like you're fucking psychic here's a recipe to do with tahini get the call oh stop there stop there I know what's gonna happen he's gonna put some tahini on those isn't he

is it just tahini or those, isn't he? Is it just tahini or has he done refried beans? No, it's not. There's other stuff. There's other stuff. There's no refried beans. Pop a couple of corn cobs on the barbecue. Blacken them a little bit to your taste until the corn is cooked. Using a food brush, apply chipotle mayo over the corn.

Roll the corn in a mixture of grated parmesan black pepper and tahini uh being that there is good quality accessible vegan substitutes for parmesan and mayo it's something that anyone can enjoy regardless of dietary requirements hope you give it a try now here's my suggestion tom to you i'm gonna get some tahini sent to your house i'm also gonna get some well you can probably get yourself some chipotle man i'm not fucking doing your grocery shopping for you. No, I guess. Shall we try this corn recipe next week? That'd be great, on Friday.

Yeah, let's do it on Friday. Let's do that. Okay. I've got to be careful eating, by the way, corn on the cob because of that too. I thought that's sorted out now.

It is, but I'm worried. I love corn on the cob, by the way. Why don't you pre-strip it? Yeah, actually, I might do that, yeah. You want to try it out of a bowl?

Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Or... There used to be a Corn on the Cob place, actually, which Alex could have worked at by the time things, where he used to do all different flavours of Corn on the Cobs. It was which Alex could have worked at by the time things, where he used to do all different flavours corn on the cobs. It was one of the best places

at the time at Barrow Market. Yeah, I mean, this is very chef-y what he's, what Alex is saying. What I would say is,

like, even if you stick, even if you just heat up some corn on the cob and stick a little bit of chilli powder on it, it's fucking bad. Butter, yeah.

Yeah, butter, whatever you want. That's just another thing you can do. Hit us up at thewolfandourpod at gmail.com with your favourite corn on the cob recipes. Maybe. That would be great. If they added on Instagram pictures of them to the Wolf and Our Pod on Instagram

of you eating corn on the cob because that's always a funny thing. Why? It's funny watching people eat corn on the cob. Videos are better or boomerangs. Yeah, don't tag me though. Tag Tom, specifically. Tag us both. It's unfair otherwise. No, you'll feel left out. okay hi rom and tom this is for this is from jamie right

i was watching soccer am this morning and there were several adverts on during the break for Vanorama that I recognised the voice of, and it was none other than Tom. He did put on a weird voice, like he was selling Ann Summers products on it, so I'm not sure if he was trying to hide it was him. Referring back to a previous pod where Tom went on a tirade about celebs not using the products they advertised for, I'd like to know if Tom currently has a lease van

or has he just sold his soul for a pound note? Okay. What's his dickhead's name? What's his dickhead's name? Jamie. Jamie. Right, mate. Number one. Well done. You noticed it was me. So number one, Jamie Jamie right mate number one

well done you noticed it was me so number one I very much enjoyed doing those adverts I'm what's known in the industry as a

voice actor I do different voices that was one that to be fair actually I really enjoyed doing the whole it was a spin it was a

to make a van company seem sexy but just quickly if you're going to start throwing it around my old baby one thing i said on that advert is voiceovers and actors that we don't know is fine right but it's when you're putting your face and your whole name to something you don't believe in so that's my first argument but not also number two, let me say, that's another argument. Vanorama is the premier place to hire vans, cars, ETC.

Really helped my friend out of a spot this week. He was moving home, gave me a call. I said, look, mate, I've just done an advert for a company called Vanorama. Get in touch, see what they're like. He gets in touch. Namaste.

Sort him out. So, Jamie, I would put my name to Vanorama. I'd put my body, my soul i put my body my soul and my mirth into so jamie i guess that to sort of summarize tom's two answers there number one the hypocrisy is fine as long as you pre-announce it that's the first point the second point is tom's clearly been paid to do another advert on this podcast. Look, mate, I'm just saying, Vanorama is an incredible company.

Really helpful. Of all the places, my friend was like, wow, they're really, really helpful. Couldn't do enough for him. It felt like a gentle armour on the shoulder rather than a kick in the teeth. That's Vanorama. Okay. All right.

Thank you very much, Jamie. I hope that that... I mean, in a way, Tom feels like he's tackled it. If. All right. Thank you very much, Jamie. I hope that that, I mean, in a way, Tom feels like he's tackled it. If anything, I think I feel like he's reinforced your point. Okay.

This one is anonymous. Okay. Hi, Rom, Tom and Lisa. Now, just so you know, Tom. Yeah. This is actually quite, this one actually, we should probably give some decent advice to here

because I feel for this guy. I'm after some, well, I say that he doesn't want my advice. He's after your advice specifically. My son is 13 and over six foot. He's quite a self-conscious soul, doesn't like standing out in any way and hates being so tall. I both tom and rom had a sec a tough time in secondary school

do you have any advice how he can own his differences particularly his height what advice would you have given particularly with what you two went through uh in your teenage years uh we're not sure when this growth spurt is going to stop. So, Tom, any thoughts? It is a difficult one, this, because it's such a... Obviously, very close to home for myself, but then, you know, knowing you, Rom, and, you know, you went for your own version of that.

But I think for... I think it's a real misconception, people think if you're tall, you're going to have this sort of, right... It's a confident thing, it's a real misconception as people think of if you're tall, you're going to have this sort of, right, it's a confident thing, it's a thing of strength. I think I certainly felt the opposite of that. I felt you're already sort of almost physically making a statement before, as you walk into a room,

before anyone even gets to know you. Physically, you've come in the room, people have clocked you, and they're always going to cast dispersions on you want one way or another i think certainly within a masculine environment for me growing up there was always that air of like a threat of like you know other other you know from school into sort of going to work to pubs whatever there was always that sort of thing of people like well yeah he's a big geezer i going to sort of, I'll show him up or something. So I think it is a real, I think a tough thing to grow up with.

If you haven't got that confidence to own it, that came to me sort of later on in secondary school. I think my humour and being really self-derogatory got me out of a lot of situations and was the sort of key to that. But as to sort of if he's feeling self-conscious with it, I guess it's for you and your wife to really,

I don't know, I guess it's supporting him as a person who sort of have a hold on quite how difficult it is. It's so hard, isn't it, to give advice because i look at some of my school i look at some of my late teens probably quite a lot my 20s and i'm quite sad looking back at it you know i remember being started on at festivals or just

walking down the street and whatever there would be someone who'd have a point to prove because you're tall and i and i think i'd love to just sit here and tell you that i had some sort of recipe for oh this is uh this is it how you could handle this is gonna you know i just think now that that became the thing that made me stronger and it made me a thing that as a person was like right well you know there's no way out of this i am this way i've got to carry myself in a way that i'm proud of the fact i'm tall i'm not an aggressive person i can i just have to make sure. Yeah, it's finding those levels. But yeah, it's a tough thing to go through.

And I think especially if he lacks it. Sports, the thing, but I was awful at sports. So I think if you're tall and you're good at sport, it really helps. I mean, I'm literally waffling now because I've got no idea what to say. You know, the thing is, the truth is, it's a really complicated situation

because I've got three boys to say you know the thing is the truth is it's it's a really complicated situation because i've got three boys and our kids are they're very different to each other they're not you know they're not particularly tall or anything but they do have they are quite individual the way they behave the stuff they're into and stuff like that and they get shit for that at school and um you worry about it do you mean and i i i remember like you know my the biggest thing i used to get the taking the piss out of for me by other kids at school was first it was my weight when i was a lot younger and then when i sort of like stretched out a little bit um it was my eye you know and i remember um and this by the way i'm not trying

this sounds like i'm trying to make you feel worse. I'm not trying to talk. I'm just trying to say it's a real thing. It's like, I remember we had to walk into, they were merging two science classes. We're going to watch some film they're putting on as part of a thing. And so you had this thing where we walked into the theater where they were

showing the film and you walked into a room where basically there was a viewing gallery of all of the other kids in those like you know as you walk in like right and it felt really exposing and I remember when I walked in I must have been 14 these kids just started laughing at how like saying I look stoned with my eye and all this shit right and it's like I just sort of basically got roasted as I made my way to the seat and by kids I didn't really know it wasn't like mates if it's mates it's one thing do you mean but it's like it's like, I just sort of basically got roasted as I made my way to the seat. And by kids, I didn't really know. It wasn't like mates. If it's mates, it's one thing.

Do you know what I mean? But it's like, it's like people I didn't really know. And that stayed with me for fucking ages. And it's sort of, and the truth is, is those things can sort of define you in a way, you know,

if you let them. But what I would also say is I wouldn't be a comedian now if I hadn't had a lazy, if I didn't have a lazy eye. Do you know what I mean? I'm not saying that your son's going to go on to become a comedian or anything. But what I'm saying is you can't – I don't think you can protect – you know, my kids sort of say things.

They are into certain things or they dress a certain way or they're very individual. And I think to myself that's going to draw attention to them. But I think to myself all you's going to draw attention to them. But I think to myself, all you've got to do is back yourself to give your kids the values and self-belief and self-esteem that they can handle that shit. Do you know what I mean? And the truth is, you are not going to be able to protect your kid from every negative experience. And nor should you want to do that, because the truth is's all part of the thing that's that's us growing up do you mean and look i'm not an expert i guess what i'm trying to say is you've got i think i would i would say to your son if i was in your position that kids are just looking for stuff

to detract attention from their own shit do you mean and if they're talking about your son's height they're delighted because it means they don't have to talk about their own shit and his height will be something that will be a virtue in the future do you know what i mean and you've just got to hope that you instilling him the values and self-belief and self-esteem we all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... about Rebelsis.

Rebelsis? Really? Yeah. He says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor

or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. That he's going to be able to tackle all of that. Do you know what I mean? And so, you know, that's, again, I'm now finding myself waffling.

But on that, when you talk about the science class, I remember going into secondary school and later watching, like we were joking, but Shawshank Redemption. And when I look back now and think about secondary school, I remember, you know, that's the first time you walk into the canteen

or you're walking through the corridors and there's bigger kids. Because you go from being like, you know, junior school, I remember, you know, that's the first time you walk into the canteen or you're walking through the corridors and there's bigger kids. Because you go from being like, you know, junior school, middle school, whatever, then all of a sudden you're into sort of, you know, there's kids there who are essentially young adults who are 17, whatever. And I remember, like,

when I watched Shawshank Redemption years later, I was like, oh, I felt like Andy Dufresne when he went to prison, when he was walking through the corridors, like as a fresh fish. And also, like, it was like having a fucking sign on my back going to prison, when he was walking through the corridors, like as a fresh fish. And also like, it was like having a fucking sign on my back going, right,

this is the kid. Yeah. Cause I was really tall and gangly, but on, on what Romesh has just said, the thing that really, you know, sort of sits with me is that a lot of the people who I look at now who would

tease me and sort of like, they sort of peaked at school and the sort of the minerals and the sort of fabric that makes you sort of like toughens you up in a sense and gives you sort of they were winning all the time so they had never really known what it is to lose or sort of to feel sort of a bit of an outsider they'd always been in the in crowd so when it came to sort of starting a job or going into and you're i guess you you as a person being tested they hadn't ever had that at a young age so at 18 19 20 25 even for the first time they're getting tested and they go oh shit what is this what's this feeling like you know of not getting a job what's

this feeling of feeling like bottom of the the ladder what's this what is that feeling it's really hard to, like anything, it's hard, like if you take a sport up, it's hard, you know, whatever, you're going to be a rapper,

whatever. If you're going to do anything and the later you take that on, learn a language, the harder it gets. And I think that's the same with feeling of loss or feeling like you're not good enough. All those things,

I think, sort of mold into that, those feelings as well. So the older you are when you first get that, the less equipped you are to deal with that feeling. Whereas I look at feelings now probably where I've had bad gigs or I've not got things. When I started out in this industry, I genuinely thought,

what's the worst that can happen? I've failed at everything I've ever tried. So my actual, as silly as it sounds, and I'm probably less like that you know because i've had a bit of success you know after i was 38 i i genuinely was so used to going actually you know if this doesn't work it's going to be like everything else that hasn't worked and it's not going to kill me yeah because i've always had that since i was at junior school and i think that's that's the difference so yeah it will be it's gonna it will test him but i think at the end he'll be a very strong he'll be stronger and he'll be a

better he'll be absolutely fine and the fact that you're thinking about it now uh means that he is uh being brought up by people that are you know doing the right thing you know so good luck to you man um do you know what let me just tell you something. Off the back of that, when I read that email, I thought to myself, I really want to talk to this person and reassure them. But at the same time, no disrespect to you and me, Tom, we are deeply underqualified to tackle that question. But at the same time, you do want to address it.

Do you know what I mean? It's such a weird... Yeah, but you kind of... I don't know, we make a joke out of this I really want to just say to this

young lad it is everything will be alright because that's the thing of it

you worry about youngsters and we've talked about it a bit recently on here

when you watch especially young men and how the dynamic works between them

and you think of me and you joked about it but when we were working with those kids the other day, both of us went, oh, we would be that kid.

And that was the outsider who was worried about wetting himself on the day. And I was like, I would have been that kid. I would love to say that I'd be the kid who was great at fucking martial arts or the kid who was great at football. But I'd have been the kid going, you know, do you think I'll be able to go to the toilet? Because I'm worried about putting my pants on set. That would have been a kid going, you know, do you think I'll be able to go to the toilet? Because I'm worried about

putting my pants on set. That would have been me. But I wouldn't have even asked the question. I would have just pissed myself. It would have just been really fucking awkward for everyone for the rest of the day. You want to do one more? Let's do one more.

Okay. This is from, let me just double check. Okay, this is from Dougal. You know Dougal's a nice name. It just makes you happy as soon as you hear it. It is a nice name. I didn't feel happier as I read it out, though.

I just felt a little ray of sunshine just hit my face. You said the name Dougal. You are sat by your window, aren't you? Yeah, could have just been that. It could have been a little actual bit of sunlight happening just as you said it. But anyway. Anyway. I digress.

Boys, how goes it? Love the podcast. Now, full disclaimer. This email is going to sound like I'm throwing shade at Romesh. But please be assured this is not the case. This is a genuine request for perspective on an issue that has followed me throughout life that I think you can relate to. Before we carry on

since we've been doing these podcasts today my fucking MacBook has activated Siri about 20 times it's just fucking activated now you said Siri but turn it off mate turn it off. Siri is the most useless fucking thing anyone's

ever come up with it's honestly do you know how you can help me sir you can help me by fucking off every apple product you can stop doing is stop interrupting me and then when i actually do ask you something be unable to fucking yeah solve that request having it how about that i've switched off the apple watch because the worst thing you could be in the middle of a fucking whatever and you'd raise your arm and it'd fucking... How can I help you, mate? Do one. You say you can help me, Siri.

Go fuck yourself, right? And as I've said that, it's not activated. But it activated when I said perspective. Anyway, carrying on. Sorry, not to take away from Dougal's email. I have a naturally miserable face. This is not me talking now. This is Dougal.

I was thinking that the other day, actually, about you. Pardon? You've got like a resting sulky face. Yeah, I have. That's definitely true. But sometimes on set of King Gary, I am actually annoyed at how I'm being treated by the production.

But anyway, I mean that my default expression is somewhere between extremely unhappy and slightly pissed off. I look like I either can't be ar asked or I'm tired of everyone's shit. Personality wise, this couldn't be any further from the truth. I see myself as a sociable and upbeat guy who will give anyone the time of day. However, getting people to give me the time of day can be somewhat challenging at times. While I'm having conversations, I need to consciously force my face into a neutral expression.

So I'm not inadvertently glaring at the person I'm talking to like I want to stab them in the kidneys. It's quite visceral. I've fallen out of faith with employers because of this i've had hr meetings about my work ethic because i'm sat on my desk like my best mate just ran over my dog or running away with my wife i've not been invited to social events because people thought i didn't like them and i think in life some people just took one look at my face and avoid interaction with me i guess you know where i'm going with this romesh uh it feels like when it comes to naturally looking you look like you hate the world and everything in it fair play for spinning it into a career uh is this a problem you've experienced over any point in your life

uh i would also be interesting to hear tom's thoughts he strikes me as a polar opposite with a naturally cheerful and outgoing demeanor and imagine this opens up a completely different set of opportunities and invokes a different day-to-day reaction for people thanks again for the podcast i've sort of there's he goes on i was about to say quite a bit and he goes on to detail but we've got the gist so well yeah i mean i can jump in here and say my face isn't an animal i have to really focus on my face because if i my my go-to face my resting face is stupid genuinely if i don't concentrate on it and I'm just standing in my own thoughts,

I look like I'm a dog trying to work out a card trick. That is my resting face. But in fairness, you look like a dog that's pretty close to working out. I will sit there and like, that is stupid. I love that. That's like one of my favourite looks on anybody's face your your face yeah so so i have to like when we're doing this even sometimes i'm listening to romeo stalking i

catch a glimpse of myself and i actually generally think why is he even friends with me like if we were sitting together on the bus yeah right and i don't know if this is speaking out of turn like if we were sitting together on the bus with both of our resting faces, right. People would like look at us and go, Oh, look at him. He's looking after his big friend.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's really unhappy about it. He's not going to be in the job for much longer. I, I, I, I, I, I um i have had this you know i do have this resting sulky face resting dick face and um it's a problem i don't know if it's affected my jobs and stuff but it has like like for example lisa has had to sort of accept i remember when we first when i first went away with lisa on holiday, before we had kids or anything,

I remember her saying to me, second day in to the holiday, it's very difficult to know if you're enjoying this or not. Just to clarify, it wasn't while we were having sex. I have had that. And I remember I got asked to go and judge a new stand-up competition. These guys were trying out their first sets, and they asked me to go down and be a judge. And in front of me, the woman that runs the course warned them about my face.

She said, just so you know, don't get nervous. Romesh won't look like he's enjoying it, but he will be. But let me just say, by the way, guys, I think there are very, very very very very very few sights as sweet as when that frown breaks into a smile as it just has but do you know what like i will work so hard in a thirsty sad pathetic way sometimes i'll look across the room when we're filming or we're together in some sort of scenario and i'll look at sort of that sort of embittered resting face. And I think, I can't wait to put a smile across that.

And I'll just walk over to him and just either tickle him or crack a joke. Sometimes, actually, I make him look even worse with the jokes I say. But it is a blessed feeling. The tickling is not okay. Anyway, this face thing. Yeah. is not okay. Anyway, this face thing, it came up for me actually yesterday because I did Saturday Night Takeaway yesterday.

You've mentioned that four times now. Have I really? I get it. You're showing off your bagging. So last night, there was a bit where a guest announcer, you don't do anything. But there's one bit where they're doing something and they said, I'm going to be in shot, right?

But I'm not doing anything, but I am in shot. And me being in shot when I wasn't doing anything was a fucking big problem for the show last night. Because... Really? Not in the actual show, because we did a rehearsal. But, like, I basically look like I don't give a fuck. When I'm stood just watching something

I just look like, not only that I didn't give a fuck, I was utterly miserable about it. It's the same thing like when I went to watch Walshy doing Strictly and there's a bit where one of the dancers came right in front of me and so the spotlight you know the light that's on them

just hits you because you're sat in the front row the number of tweets I got saying Romesh Ranganathan looking like he would rather fucking chop his own

dick off than be sat watching Strictly tonight and I was just engaged in what I was you know I just didn't happen to be smiling or whatever

I think with you though people know that's the thing if it was me genuinely looking like that yeah they'd know something's wrong thing. If it was me genuinely looking at that, they'd know something's wrong. What's your thinking face?

Have you got a stupid face when you're thinking? I'll do it there. Is that what it is? Yeah. You look intelligent all the time. That's the thing. It's very misleading. You think so?

I think they might be racist. No, but you do. What? So you look intelligent? I think you're just assuming. No, but you do. What? So you look intelligent? I think you're just assuming that because I'm brown and I've got glasses on, I must be thinking about a computer program or something. You always look like you know what's going on in your eyes and your mouth. Really?

You don't ever, yeah. I've never looked at you in all of our years of friendship and gone, oh, he hasn't got a grasp of this situation. He knows exactly, you know exactly what's going on. You need to spend more time when I'm around Lisa. You look, I think, this is the highest compliment I could pay another human being.

You remind me of Hannibal from the A-Team a lot of the time. That's the highest compliment you can pay any human being. One of them. That I remind you of possibly the most lacklustre member of the A-Team.

He's the clever one. He comes up with the friends. Hannibal is there member of the A-Team. No, he's the clever one. He comes up with the plans. Hannibal is the worst member of the A-Team by a long stretch. He's the clever, sensible one. By a long stretch. He's the clever, sensible one. Yeah, he has to come up with plans

because there's nothing else that fucking earns him the position of being in that fucking show. Mate, look. Look, I'm saying that. And who are you? Who are you? I'm probably like a merger. I'd probably be across the table probably if you say you're a merge of fucking murdoch and face no i'd never say that i'd never i'd probably be a cross between murdoch and ba okay i'd say it's so funny to see how you

see yourself it's really no because you do a lot of this you know let's be absolutely honest you do a lot of this bullshit complimenting right right everyone guys hit up the podcast because i think hannibal is an amazing guy do not do not hit up the podcast okay on this please do not have the podcast what i'm going to say to you is this you say a lot of compliments like you know sweet sweet soul and you i love you for that and blah blah and then you say something where you compare us and stuff and that's when i finally get the real idea of what you think about us if i was you know what i think face is the driest out of all the a team actually do you know what you might be right i think if i compared you to face fair enough face has got nothing about apart from his looks if the a team were around now face would be gone he'd be out there he's got he is exactly what we're talking about earlier he's got nothing about him apart from his looks. If the A-team were around now, Face would be gone. He'd be out there.

He is exactly what we were talking about earlier. He's got no street smarts. What did you think of the film remake of the A-team? Yeah, I don't mind it. I thought Bradley Cooper was... Actually, Bradley Cooper made a better face. He had more about him. Yeah.

You know what? We should remake the A-team. Mix it up. Mix it up. I'll be BA. Okay. you know what we should remake the a team but mix it mix it up i'll be ba you okay in 2021 the idea that you're gonna play ba and i'll remake a va2 you'd be hannibal yeah that's the thing me being hannibal would be seen as a super woke move and it's great and there'll be some uproar on twitter

you being ba would get both you and me cancelled well I'd have to be Murdoch then. You can't be Murdoch. Why? You just can't be. I'm sorry, but you cannot be Murdoch. I can't be Hannibal. It would be a fucking dire, fucking sad statement of affairs if we fucking somehow got a remake of the A-Team where we're both

fucking not even cast in it. That's the level we're at. We managed to get this film away. It's all on. They fucking managed to get away a British remake of the 80s. This is how fucking dedicated these guys are. But they're not in it because

why would you put them in it? A pair of losers. Anyway, in answer to your question, Dougal, it has affected both our lives. But, you know, what I would say to you is just quickly on that my writing face will stick my tongue out when I write

yeah you don't do that the whole time you write you can't even keep it up for your little fucking 30 second act out no right if I'm writing no but Tom the thing is this is keep it up for your little fucking 30 second act out. No, right. If I'm writing. No, but, but Tom,

Tom, the thing is, this is a, this is a totally pointless example because you're, you're going, I stick my tongue out when I write and then I go, oh, okay.

I don't believe you. And you go, yeah, no watch. And then you don't write and stick your tongue out. I mean, the debate isn't about whether you can stick your tongue out or not. There he is. old man wrote.

Look at him. Riding up my arse like a thong. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, okay. Now, listen, we're coming to the end of this episode. I would say that we've done both the main and the bonus now in quick succession. Which one do you think is better?

I enjoyed them both. Actually, the bonus one was my favourite one this week. Me too. Me too. I enjoyed it um i'll tell you what well actually do you know what i'm gonna say for the first time probably since we started doing this the bonus and the main have got very different feels to them yeah so the bonus the main one was a lot of kind of anecdotes and meandering chat whereas this one

was a bit more kind of yeah well it's and also this one the most exciting thing to announce is the big running race so we definitely i'll be honest with you my ass has got a bit on that mate if your ass goes then you have to fucking do a forfeit like what um i'm sure i can think of something okay i'll be honest with you the way you sort sort of said that, it was like you're going to organise a prison rape. No. I'm sure I can think of something. So everyone, guys, get in touch with the Wolf and Al pod at Gmail. So firstly, who do you think will run the running race between me and Romesh?

That's the big one. But also, if Romesh blouses out because he's too scared, what should his forfeit be? Okay, great. I mean, I'm actually in favour of that because you haven't said, could you please respond in a pictorial form

of what you think that forfeit should be. Well, you know, they haven't got right. They can send pictures and stuff of what you've got to do. Okay. I'm pretty sure pictorial's not a word. I think it might be pictorial. You're talking to the wrong person there.

Okay, guys. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. We love you. Namaste. We'll see you again on... We won't see you. We'll hear from you again on... No, we won't hear from you.

You'll hear from us again. Oh, fuck me. Goodbye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail dot com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail dot com. We'd love to hear from you,

mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.