Wolf and Owl - Dogs At Restaurants, Role Play & Retirement

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

Is Romesh really retiring at 50? Tom and Romesh clear up the recent retirement rumours before diving into your latest emails, including a debate about the over-exposure of dogs and a dramatic affair story from a listener who's questioning the future of their secret relationship. Another week, another email answered and some solid advice from the Wolf and the Owl. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 00:00 Intro 00:47 A question on dogs 02:31 Romesh addresses his retiring comment 03:29 Dog lovers continued 11:09 Do the wives listen to the pod? 11:53 An email about a secret relationship 20:20 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah, what do you want? Beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer. Just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf and Al email special. Wolfelpot at GMO.com if you want to send us anything in. This is where we listen to your questions, we look at your problems, dilemmas, and we offer whatever hell we can. And we don't fold into your lives in a way that's not. not creepy and...

I don't think I gave an interrupt signal there. You always do, you do this. And shall we crack on... Your voice slows ever so slightly. Does it? Yeah. Shall we crack on with the first email, Tom? I would love that.

Would you like to read it or should I? Did Tomsky and Romsky? You're both absolute legends and I love the pod. I only discovered about it a year ago, courtesy of Ed Gamble. Shout to Ed Gamble. Well, that's really sweet of Ed Gamble, isn't it? He listens quite a lot about it. Does he?

I'll shout out Ed. Every now and again he texts me. He, by the way, the other day, really made me laugh. We were having some barbecue-based humour. And he really, really, yeah. Sounds like I had to be there moment. Okay, anyway, carry on.

I'm very bad. I'm so really gutted to miss out on Ed and yours barbecue banter. Anyway, carry on. I'll tell you what, Ed would be a great barbecue guest. Yeah, I bet he would. But I'm very glad. I did say.

Still catching up on it all. I've got about a year's worth of pods to go. My point of, discussion is this. Isn't he'll be mad in about a year when he hears this? And he goes, fuck, I made it. My point of discussion is, I like dogs. I've always had one in the family growing up on a farm and spent a lot of time with him in order not to spend time with my parents. Make of that as you will. But post-COVID, my love of dogs has dwindled. I know both of you have, have owned dogs. So what do you think about dogs being present in pubs, restaurants, and being near the table?

I've been at restaurants, tables recently, and dogs have been barking away. and close to my plate of food. I feel like it impacts the experience of enjoyment of my meal out, which isn't cheap, by the way. Not to mention the hygiene questions it raises. My question is, do you think society needs to dial back on the bit where dogs have access to places where humans are eating? I'll be very interested to hear your thoughts.

Love you both. Your beacons of hope. And I hope you don't retire from the public eye when you're 50. I think we can all agree with that because we love Rom. We adore him. He's a beautiful human being. Lots of love, the traumatized turkey. Can we talk about this 50 thing?

Yeah. By the way, every time he says it, I want to... Boo! Stick with it, you're the best! If you see Ramesh out and about, I want you to go, don't you dare! You're the best, mate. We can't live without you.

Boo! Stay on, I want to see you at 55 and 60 and 65. You won't say me 65, I'll be dead. But I think we all know that I'm not going to completely disappear at 50. I was merely... Well, you've been as dramatic. You're like when I... I'm coming off Facebook for a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a bit like that. But I was talking out, because I was seriously thinking about, you know, certain things that you won't do anymore and blah, blah, blah. So I'm just talking about it with a mate.

What I didn't expect is for it to get picked up by the newspapers. Yeah, I mean, it was insane. That was the biggest, yeah. It wasn't the biggest. It was a very slow news day. No, there was hardly, mate, the World Cup was just beginning.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a day after the England game. Yeah. It was how bad the England game was. Yeah, no, absolutely. Anyhow. Whether life serves you an ace or an unexpected backhand, the high-protein yogurt, Oikos Pro, is there to feed your strength

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I didn't know you could get that big. Spider-Man, brand-new day. In theaters, July 31st. Anyway, let's have a chat about this dog thing. We're both dog lovers, aren't we? Yes, we are. You've already become a member of the Cat League now. Yes, you have.

But I still very much like dogs. I love for... We've got a bit of a sort of dilemma in the house at the moment. We and Grace are both very keen on getting another dog. Catherine's quite traumatised. She's very traumatised about what I'm with the last dog. Yeah, and understandably so, that must have been hard. Yeah.

So it's quite sad. And she comes from her house where they've always had dogs. But anyway, alas, to this person's question. Have we humidized it? I do think there's an element of when I see a dog go past in a pram that I think that that is... How often is that happening? There's a woman who lives near me.

She's constantly walking around. That's what happens when you live in affluent areas. You know, dogs in handbags, dogs in prams. Dogs in a rucksack. You said on the back, yeah, yeah, yeah. I always think that's when they start licking the back of your head when it's sweating must be horrible. God, dogs love sweat.

I'll tell you what else dogs love. Cocoa butter. Oh, please don't tell me that you've... That of what? Go ahead. Finish a sentence. No, that you've covered yourself in cocoa butter and let the dogs lick you off.

No. Well, sort of. I regularly cover myself in cocoa butter. Do you know, this will get no press? I regularly cover myself in cocoa butter. By the way, is that a thing? What? The cocoa butter thing

That's good, right? Well, I tend to moisturise Top to bottom Every day? Twice a day. What? When I wake up in the morning before I go to bed.

Oh my gosh. Do you have a shower before you go to bed? Sometimes. I always have a shower before I go to bed But I'm not moisturise it. What do you think about And I'm nervous to say this Because having a shower before bed

Yeah. And then not having a shower till just before bedtime the next time. No, no, no, no. I couldn't do that. That's, by the way, personal. That's just over me. I could not do that.

Yeah. You don't get B-O. Do you? I think I do. It's funny you say that because leases is I don't ever get it, but I feel like I do. Yeah. Anyway, sometimes in the morning when I've cocoa buttered, I'll come downstairs in a pair of shorts. Yeah.

And if the dogs clock onto the fact I've just cocoa-butted, it's a bit of a nightmare for me. Are they all over you? Yeah. And then, so. So. So it's a bit tickle like a so much affection. So I have to sort of get away. You sit on that the kitchen island like that with your leg suck.

Go and leave it, you bloody, you horny devils. So anyway, the point is I do love dogs. We both do. Yeah. I actually do think you've got a point about them being at restaurants and stuff like that. I do agree. One of the issues that I've got with dog owners and I'm speaking as one myself is that they assume that everybody loves dogs as much as they do. And it's just not the case.

And some people find them frightening. Some people are just not into them. And I think that it's a bit different to kids. It's like going to a restaurant, if you're a bit uncomfortable about dogs or you're not used to being around dogs, and then ones near you during your meal. I actually think you're all right. I think you're justified to be pissed off about that.

Yeah, I think that's the thing, isn't it? But then I suppose the same could be said of like, we do that with kids. You do a thing with kids. I think it's a bit different. No, but I think sometimes I've been, I've genuinely taken Grace two restaurants

and, you know, just as a start as being finished, I think we probably should have just gone to Wagamamas. This is probably not the right place. Well, I think, I personally find it with the dog thing, I think, and a lot of it comes down to breed, right?

Like, if it's just cute little dog that's just quietly sitting there, we went out not so long ago and we went to a pub for lunch and there was one the most terrifying dogs I've ever seen and I was like looks can be deceptive it might be a really friendly dog so I sort of was going to the toilet so I sort of walked past and uh it sort of stood up and growled like terrifying so then you're having to go to grace who loves dogs don't get anywhere in that dog yeah and then you could see most of the restaurant were absolutely terrified of this

terror like this really aggressive dog and by the way that's breed wise that's all down to owners right yeah yeah but it completely destroyed everyone's meal everyone was so on edge of this dog might just go mad at anyone point and start just devouring people. Yeah. It was, yeah. So I do, but I think it's quite strict now if you go to places that aren't allowed them, right?

Yeah, and I think, you know, regards to your point about kids, I think people with kids generally are quite self-policing. Like, I think when our kids were really young, there's certain places you just go, we ain't going to go there for a while. Do you know what I mean? You know, there's certain places we just,

you can see by the restaurant, this isn't the sort of place we've got to bring our kids. But sometimes you'd get it wrong And you'd think it'd be okay And then our boys, like when there's a particular time When our boys were just, they were a nightmare You know, when you go to a restaurant And so there's a couple of times

When Lisa and I'd gone to a restaurant And the kids are just being kids, right? They're just being noisy kids And you just go actually in hindsight We shouldn't have brought them here On one occasion Or a couple of occasions We've sat down

And we've looked around and then we decided that we shouldn't be here with the kids and so we've got up and left before we've even ordered any foot. You sort of make the realisation. So I think there's a bit of self-policing. With dogs, though, I think that it's, if it's a dog-friendly restaurant, I think you can't really complain too much.

If the establishment is decided they want to welcome dogs and that's it. But I think I do understand why it might not be comfortable about it. It's a weird thing as well because they mentioned there about the dogs and like spending on. I felt like that about my dog, like when they're saying about, about like the amount of time that I spent, during COVID, weirdly. And I've moved up to an area

quite a long way away from any of my family, friends and everything. And I spent so long, me and Catherine together, but Catherine had friends there, so she quite often see her mates, and I didn't really know anyone. So I spent so much time with that, with our dog. It was sort of like, the bond between us over that COVID was so tight, do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah. It's a very special relationship, I think. And I can see, because it would be really easy to sit here, and sort of totally mick out of people humanising animals and dogs. But I can see where actually there's an element of that that happens when you have that relationship. It can become very comforting in a situation. Lisa and I have a disagreement about,

as an ongoing point of contention, how much he humanises our dogs. Yeah, I mean, I was never like, oh, he thinks this or he says that, you know, it was more that I just felt comforting in being around. Oh, I think it's right to be comforting, but Lisa, you know, Lisa, she's, she's, she loves those dogs. Yeah, I think you're loving her dogs. I love the dogs too, but what I'm saying is like, you know, she's...

Does she give them little personalities? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I mean, they do have Berset. They're very different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think they're thinking,

oh, that he's a bit grumpy today. You know, I don't know they're thinking that. She doesn't do that for us to shoot? No, thank God. Okay, yeah, it was going to say. Only one I ask. But anyway, the point is... Well, you make her call you daddy, don't you?

Yeah. We do like this. little Scooby-Doo role play. She just us up for Scooby-Do. She brings up like a big sandwich. She trusts, you Jeff is, What's over me?

You dress a shaggy. Okay. Shall we, that's the extent of my shaggy impression. The least sexy roleplay ever. The Hulu original series Furious is coming to Disney Plus. Starring Emmy Rossum.

Furious follows FBI Agent Alice Black on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice, and as their lives start to intertwine, the line between right and wrong begins to blur. Don't miss the three-episode premiere of the Hulu original series Furious on July 27th, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Hi Wolf Al Cat and Swan. Cat and Swan don't need to be addressed. I mean, we should address this.

Yeah, yeah. Cat and Swan have no involvement. They're not even, I don't even think they're listening. Yeah, does Catherine listen to this? People come up to her now and say, oh my God, we heard the story the other day and she's like, I stopped listening after COVID. I don't think Lisa's across this. She's given up with the emails now.

John's like the new Lisa and Kat. Yeah, and speaking of John, any old shit you want to send in to Wolfowlpod at gmail.com, please do. Pictures of, you know, ingrown hairs or... Or codes that you want broken. Ingrown toe nails. Yeah, stuff like that.

He loves that. He loves cysts being ruptured. I actually quite enjoy that. I need some advice desperately. I've been with my fiancé for three years now. Yippee! A little backstory. You met when she started working in a pub,

which is my local. She was in a relationship and had a sum. We started seeing each other while she was in said relationship. Her ex found out, and then she broke up with me. A few months later, we got back together after she broke up with her ex. It was like extenders. Turbulous, yeah. Took two years for her to finally make the jump and move in with me.

In that time, we've been together. She was living with her ex and some. Within this time, she kept me a secret from her son and her ex. Fucking, this is quite complicated. She moved in with me in November 2025, but she had to leave her son as he wanted to stay with the dad and not live with her. Still, he doesn't know about me, nor does her ex. Oh, my God.

She goes round every night after work to see her son, apart from Tuesdays and Saturdays. She recently only just plucked up the courage to tell her ex that she's seeing someone, but hasn't told him it's me. we went to Spain last this is wild we went to Spain last week and she had to lie to say that she went with a friend

when her son's father calls I have to remain silent all the time whilst in Spain her son asked a few questions and she had a massive panic attack and couldn't breathe worried about them finding out after discussion we decided she had to tell her ex and her son it's me she's seeing we got engaged on

we got engaged on valentines this year we're trying for a baby but I feel if she can't tell her ex and son about me, it's going to either end up killing her from a panic attack or make us argue far more. I'm fed up with hiding our relationship and staying silent in my own home. I also really want to try and build a relationship with her son, just like she has with mine. I want to shout about our love and put pictures up on social media and so on. Sorry for long email, the goblin shark. What the fuck's a goblin shark? I know that's not the point, but...

Yeah, yeah, goblin shark sounds quite cool, though. It sounds like, yeah, find an emo. What a fucking mess this is, by the way. This is, this is crazy. Yeah. Have you ever been anyone's secret love? uh no but equally i don't think people have wanted to shout from the rooftops about me all for a row i've been i've been someone sort of bit on the side yeah i'm not massively surprised um but i didn't know i was uh you didn't know you're a secret i didn't know was a secret and a bit on the side for quite some time um and it was quite a sort of um i remember like how i found that was terrible and then sort of kind of tried to cut things off but then didn't and and you know

sort of the relationship the person was in was quite a um, it was in a particularly nice one and they were having trouble leaving and everything. So I felt like I can't just then desert the person. But at this point you're like, and then you're never too sure what's true and what's not. And it's not a very, I think it kind of has an impact on your self-worth.

So I guess that's what's happening here. You know, the basis that you're, um, you're in a relationship and you're looking at moving things forward. But I think it obviously, feels like quite a lot of stuff is set in a place where it feels like, you know, that she's hanging on to a lot of her past.

And it's obviously a very, it's hard to, it's hard to, it's hard obviously because we're reading, we don't know all the details. So you don't know whether that her ex has got, um, if there's any kind of mental health things. Mental health things. Or even if she's, there's a slight element of fear there. And, and, you know, there's also quite, there's the worry that, you know, if your son has chosen to live with.

with her ex, her son, sorry, and then you're in a situation where she worries then, I guess, that that would have a massively detriment or effect to her relationship with her son, would she still be able to see the son? I think the other thing about more than anything is that when it comes to something like in this situation, when you're dealing with children

and when you're dealing with matters of the heart like this and the relationship that you have, I think you kind of at some point are going to have to be, or she's going to have to be honest. And I think, you know, if you're going to move forward, you know, for example, if you're trying for a kid and you have a kid, it's, that's going to be a very hard, you know, thing to keep quiet that you're the new person in their life. And I think, you know, I certainly, for my own experience of this felt constantly that, yeah, yourself, you question yourself worth. You questioned that you weren't really ever enough.

And I always just kind of thought, and this is only speaking from a personal experience, is that I sort of felt. like you're I was a bit of a stop gap in a situation that it was never it was just something that was just so I think um I think I'd say is I don't know unless this is and we don't know we don't know the ins and outs so it's very hard though then to push someone I'd say to get her to actually speak to someone a specialist like a therapist or someone and allow her to articulate to someone who's not yourself I wouldn't put too much pressure on her having to tell you everything she talks about a therapist, but I'd say when it comes to having something like this big that she's hiding from her child and, you know, that is, it's just not going to be good for her. It eats away at you

that stuff. So I think it's just making sure that you're there for her, you're supportive, maybe speak to her about speaking to someone else and just saying, look, give her a bit of space to do that. But I also then would just take a little moment for her to address where she's at with life before you start going into the next few steps of your relationship. I just make sure you solidify her mental well-being, your mental well-being, and then you start talking about things like marriage and have another child. Because I just think at the moment, I'd just take a beat and just say, let's just get this thing sorted.

Let's just try and get us sorted as a couple and move forward. And that's my advice. Great advice from Tommy D. I don't think you're in a stable place to be pushing a relationship any further currently. I think that the nature in which your relationship started was a little bit sort of covert and clandestine. And I think that's bled into basically you're having an affair. You know, it's all of the hallmarks of an affair, but it isn't. And so she's gone so far down the road of not telling her ex and not telling her son.

that it's become bigger and bigger and bigger. It shouldn't have got this far. I mean, the truth is like going on holiday with your partner and keeping it a secret from her son and her ex is just a bit... And it's none of her ex's business if they don't have a child together, but they do.

That is what complicates the situation. I think she needs to just tell them, you know, because you're trying for a kid. And the fact that she's not willing to tell her ex, is, I would say, is a bit of a red flag, to be honestly. I'm not saying that she's pining for him, but I think it's just a bit, she's in a relationship with you now, and I think it's very easy,

and I'm saying that as somebody that's done this specifically, but who's struggled to tell people difficult things, it's always best to say, and you're not in control of how the other person reacts. She's got to own that. She's in a relationship with you now, and it sounds very, very serious. You're engaged.

You can have a kid. or you're trying for a kid. These are things that you cannot keep secret from her son. So, and she's actually not being very nice to, not deliberately, but inadvertently not being very nice to her son and not being very nice to her to you. And not being very nice to herself. So this all gets made a lot easier by pushing this out into the open. And I think that's what she needs to do.

And I think that actually there is an argument to not apply pressure necessarily, but to suggest to her that you don't feel comfortable while this is all a big secret. I think that's a fair thing to say. Or you explain what your feelings are and then you let her react to how she reacts.

But the truth is it cannot be... The current situation you're in is... It's toxic. It's not good in the slightest. So good luck to you. Hope it all goes well. Please do keep in touch. Big love friend.

See it, guys. Thank you for sending those in. And if you want to get in touch, you can email the wolfout pod at gmail.com. Get rid of the there, because I'll think that's part of the email address. You can email wolf owl pod at gmail.com. Anything you need.

And if it's just a personal little message for someone I like to call John, make sure you do that too. Thanks, friends. Really good that you handle the admin of that. Yeah, no. I feel kind of quite emotional off that last email.

Yeah, me too. So we're doing a lot. another recording straight from this. I'm a bit of a miss. I have to, I've only got two t-shirts, so I need to go and get another t-shirt. Well, here is, we've got a little treat for you. That's, I guess, not really a treat for anyone listening

on watching, but a treat for us. Tom, you are going to decide what we wear for the next episode, aren't you? Yeah, so hold up. Am I carte blanche to push your limits? Yeah, but not, I don't want a full outfit. No, no, no, no, no, just the top. Just a top, yeah.

But please get something, don't get something tight. No, I'm not going to get anything tight, but like a singlet. Like a vest. Yeah, but don't, nothing spurs, nothing too tight. I'm not going to get any spurs. I'm not spending that kind of money. After what happened to me and John with a bloody Arsenal show. First of all, don't pretend that you had any skin in the game.

Well, I have to put John's been mortified by that. He's so upset. He doesn't have that upset now. It's delighted. All right, well, we'll see you next time. Work for the first game next season. Promise. No, no, no.

What would you mean? Based on what? We'll get the Premier League winners medals on that for you. No. No, on the Bandergannon shirt, no. All right, see you next time. In Tom's Choice. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair.

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