Wolf and Owl - Ep 61: Driving Lessons & Live Shows

Episode Date: February 23, 2022

We’re talking…. Rom teaching Tom to drive, drink drivers, the Wolf & Owl on stage, more hair challenges, baby crap, undercover investigations, messy rooms and some real-life imposters. Followed by a few of your emails, this week on meeting up with an internet acquaintance and supporting your daughter’s captainship of the local football team. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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today at questrade.com yeah yeah what you want beak or jaws feathers or fur sharp teeth or feet with claws whatever's preferred they'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts, get severed and served, bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler, that ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler, both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows, fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing, they stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing, dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing.

All you hear is a huff, a puff, and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

Yo, kick it up. Oh, oh, oh, shit. I said it's time for action. Boom, boom, boom, selection. Wolf and Al podcast, up in your little melon up. Oh, oh, oh, shit. I said it's time for action. Boom, boom, boom, selection. Wolf and Al podcast, upping your little melon piece. Back on the Sunday morning record. Oh, Sunday morning ting, 9 a.m. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, let me just say one thing. It's delightful. It's delicious. It's tasty. That hat. That hat is crispy. That is nice, boy. Let me tell you something.

It's a gumball. It's a Gumball. It's a Gumball 3000. Another Gumball? For a Martin Too Smooth. I'll get you one. Can I just say, Gumball, Martin Too Smooth, his caps are just another level. Yeah, I don't know.

They're just well thought out, beautiful bits of kit. Yeah, I don't know what I prefer about Gumball, the cars or the hats. I really don't know. Oh, man, I think I'm all about the hats. I'm not a car guy. I'm not a car guy. I mean, actually talking talking about that because that is one thing we've been talking about is you teaching me to drive isn't it uh we have been talking about that yeah i'm gonna teach you to drive yeah yeah i mean you're going on some it doesn't feel dangerous

does it i you know what i feel like i genuinely thought when you first sort of like mulled it over and it was sort of like you said i'll put this in your brain and just digest it for a bit no not my idea not my idea and we know it's not my idea because you worded it in a way that i would never fucking dream of wording in a million years but what my thought process was is like this guy is sensual he's caring but also he used to be a teacher. So if I'm going to put my, you know, my virginial sort of like, naked sort of like driving... Are you trying to fit as many mistakes into this sentence as you possibly can?

No, no, no, because I'm, you know, if I'm going to put myself as putty in anyone's hands, I'm glad it's in yours. You can mould me how you like. Yeah, I'm putting myself in your hands, you realise that, right? Because you're driving. Would we have to hire one of those cars with two pedals?

I think we'd have to. Listen, ordinarily you wouldn't do that, but you're not going to hire that to teach a mate. But what I don't want is a headline coming out, Romesh rang Nathan and friend die in driving lesson accident. Friends? What have we got? Who is it just?

No, it's just you. Friend. Oh, cool just you. Friend. Oh, cool, cool. Friend, friend, friend, friend. You, me, fucking Josh and fucking Rob all in a car together. Yeah. Car crash in Successville.

Tom Davis killed during driving lesson. I think that was one of the reviews when the show first came out. Turns out the weakest link in road safety is Robert Schvangenathan. Some shit like that. Do you think you'd be a good driving teacher? No. Well, look,

I used to be a teacher, obviously, so I've got that. But you've also got good patience, I think. You're a very patient human being. Do you believe that genuinely? Do you genuinely believe that? I do, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that I show you your common technique of saying something nice so i show you my soft underbelly and then you pull out no no no no no no no did you think you i think you're actually a very patient i think you'll be

you think i think you'd be there for someone to give them sort of like the rewards they need to their soul while they're learning to drive you'd sit next to me yeah because actually it's good practice because theo's gonna need to learn to drive they're learning to drive. You'd sit next to me. Yeah. Because actually, it's good practice because Theo's going to need to learn to drive soon. Yeah, we were talking about that, actually, last night. Oh, really? Yeah, Theo's already got his eyes

on what he might be driving when that comes around. But I said to him, listen, there's no point in thinking about that now. But by the time, like, Theo's 12 now. By the time he's of driving age, I mean, it's like his first period. You sound like someone from fucking Downton. By the time he reaches vehicle age, he's of driving age I bet it's like his first period you said that

by the time he reaches vehicle age by the time the hair by the time Theo is of driving age there'll be a new McLaren out and I'd have done another 78 course I'm saying that cars will be running off like

soy milk or something won't they in your house they will be running off like soy milk or something, won't they? Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? In your house they will be. Ooh. Zing. Can you hear these church bells? Can you hear this or not? I'll look at you showing off you live in a little provincial town. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's a big brag, isn't it? You hear it on all the rap tunes, don't you? That's a fucking... Oh, look at Rom getting his big dick out talking about how he lives near a church. Fuck off. Such a braggy little prick. Fuck it.

Oh, well. I'll tell you honestly... Church bell's got me up at six, y'all. Absolute nightmare having three places of worship within the radius. I'll tell you. What's Theo looking at at six, y'all. Absolute nightmare having three places of worship within the radius. I'll tell you. What's Theo looking at at the moment? Well, he's just sort of, he's just, it's weird, isn't it?

I don't reckon, I genuinely don't think, for me, I didn't pass my driving test until I was 24 years old. So I did a driving, I did a test at 17. Like all my mates, in Crawley, I don't know what it's like. I mean, we weren't that, we didn't grow up that far apart. But, like, in Crawley, driving was, you had to drive. Like, it was not because to get anywhere. It was just, it was like a status thing.

You know, you have to be able to drive. And all my mates were passing their tests. And then I took a driving test at 17 and i failed quite badly uh i didn't cause an accident or anything like that but like even i was nervous from the top of the driving test where when i came back my driving instructor said even the way you sort of pulled out the test center i thought he's done for i mean it wasn't really nice thing to say to i know because i just didn't have proper control of the speed of the car. So everything, really, I shouldn't have passed. I shouldn't have passed.

And I didn't. But my inbuilt sort of low self-esteem, whatever you want to call it, meant that even the rejection of being told I failed my driving test was too much for me to take. And I didn't have a lesson for another six years after that. Wow. Yeah, it was really bad.

I started to get like uh driving lesson associated anxiety i mean i remember even like when i went back to get my driving lessons again um i can't it's so sad isn't it i can't even remember the name of the woman that taught me the second time around but like if she had if she had a teacher than the first teacher well i mean i passed my driving test with her but i was much older not much older but you know i was a few years older so i wasn't sort of you know i wasn't sort of dealing with a permanent hard-on oh you you had turned from a boy into a man yeah yes so it's a nice thing to say but i don't think i was fully i was sort of quite a late developer

i'd say both sort of mentally and physically um But she was better, I guess. I mean, I passed my test, but she didn't stop talking, ever. Yeah, but they do that to chill you. No, no, but it wasn't chilling. She'd tell me about other... What was she talking about? Her problems and stuff? No, she'd talk mainly about other...

What's the word I'm looking for? Other clients. Is it other students? Sorry, other students. I think it's other learners. I think in this situation, other learners is aptable. God, this is two weeks in a row now. I'm having to get fucking schooled on vocab from the wolf.

But yeah, other learners. She would tell me about the things they were good at that I wasn't. So, for example, one of the big things you'll discover when we're in the car together is approaching a roundabout. Roundabouts are an insane. Slow down. Look at what's coming around. Okay.

The idea that you think that's insight is, is a real testament to the size of the problem that we've got. But, but it's like, you've obviously got loads of moving cars coming around and like you said, you see, you're trying to analyze it. It's like a bit of like walking the line between being assertive and and and being dangerous right and uh she would say to me oh oh well the thing is you always you you stop at the roundabout and you're kind of looking around and you kind of

know steven he's it's like steven i've got this thing in common we just take a it's almost like we take a mental photo as we arrive i know exactly how to fuck off steven so i don't want to hear about all these other... Stephen, in every fucking lesson you take in your life, there's a fucking Stephen. I know. Whether it's golf, driving, whatever you're fucking doing, there's a Stephen.

Well done for keeping it well within... Well done for keeping it within your wheelhouse, by the way, golf and driving. Thanks for giving examples that everyone can relate to. Even knitting, probably. I'd imagine. It'd be a Stephen fucking... Oh, Stephen.

Fucking Stephen. Stephen just fucking... Just lets the needles fucking go crazy. Well done, Steve. You managed to put the bubble on in one go. Well, Stephen started off knitting a scarf and knitted a whole jumper because he thinks outside the box.

You know what? I just thought I'd make it an all-in-one bodysuit. It just sort of came naturally. So where did you get that plan? Didn't use a plan, freestyled it. I took a photographic analysis with my eyes and I'll just watch it out from now.

I'll teach you a draw. It'll be a nice flex as well. It'll be a nice chance for us to hang out. There's something I think quite, romantic's not the word, but sort of almost like, sort of like just about me and you in a sort of rainy car park on a Tuesday evening.

Like sort of like the sort of glow in the distance of an industrial state. Just, you know, just sort of like you being up night, you know, come on, mate. You can do this. By the way way i want to drive in an automatic i've got no time for manuals yeah i don't think there's any point in doing that

but also you know um yeah i mean we've got to do this quickly haven't we we've teach you in a manual i think we're looking at a five to ten year project imagine that 52 i wonder what it's i wonder what it's going to be like for you to drive. Because obviously you're doing it with the purest of intentions, which is to be a good sort of family man for your wife and child. But if you imagine what the motivations are when you're 17, even the motivations when I was 24. I mean, the motivation when I was 24, I was going out with a girl

and I found it embarrassing I couldn't drive. Did you really? Because this is the thing. One of my main tics was when I made new friends or made a girlfriend was making sure they could drive. Yeah, that's a cool thing to demand. Yeah, that's a really cool thing. It's a really nice thing to demand something

of someone you don't have yourself. You know what? This is the thing, right? Now, this is the thing, right? I backed my personality enough and backed who I was as a vibrant fucking associate within the firm, right? So then basically people turn around and go, yo, this guy's worth it.

He doesn't drive, but he brings other stuff to the group. Sometimes I worry about, I wonder about what you as a member of this podcast team, because, you know, I feel like we got into this together as two sort of like-minded twats who've got low self-esteem and hideous crippling body issues but every now and again you say something a little bit fucking alpha and i think to myself i wonder if this guy's masquerading you know what i mean like with these people you know like these comedians that pretend that life's tougher for them than it is i've always struggled with girls

have you because you've got a six-pack and look fucking unbelievable. You can trust this. I've struggled with girls. And, you know, it came with it. It's like, look, let me just say I was dumped on a number of occasions because I couldn't drive. That means you were in relationships. Okay, well done. Don't rub it in my face. If I'm honest with you, driving-wise, I'd driven from a relatively... Because my dad was in the car business, so I'd driven a bit.

But I just didn't... i think because of adhd i really struggled with focus and not speeding and you've pulled it back now i also i think as well like without being i was a bit nerdy in the sense that people around me were always drink driving and i was always very against that life but i had quite a few mates who seemed to think it was cool to back in the 90s vibe out and do that. Yeah, I'd sooner get the bus than get in a car with a drink driver. Yeah, the drink driving is like, I mean, I don't want to speak ill of the dead

and love the man to bits, but my dad's attitude to drink driving was far more relaxed than it. It's just like, fuck, you can't have a few pints and then god it's going to be a bit of an adventure this one i mean it's actually really dangerous um but yeah but when i said that was so set against it it was unreal he was into he's in the car business so he just judged people yeah well for a big irish family so yeah pretty much everyone would do your dad's version of like you know you'd be at a family party and everyone would just be leathered and just sort

of leaving fucking, you know, see you next time type thing. And my dad would be like, not talking to them again. Yeah. Fucking assholes. He's had about five Guinness.

She's now he's getting the card. His family. No, I respect that. You have that sometimes. I even remember having that, like where it happens every now and again, where you'll be out at some situation and then somebody's drinking and then

you come sort of close to the end of the evening you go are you getting home and they go yeah just just be fine and then it sort of really takes you by surprise you go oh shit like and and he said okay this person seems so sensible but they but you know some people just they just end up having this sort of attitude to to trick driving like it like it's all right everyone's i don't know what everyone's up like you know yes okay it's a little bit trickier in the dark but you just take it a bit slow and you're fine mate i play golf with my accountant right and he's a very very straight laced dude right very straight laced play golf get into the clubhouse after he's driving afterwards he has about five points pints, six pints.

And I'm like, Monday morning, I'm fucking pulling my books away from you. Really? I don't need that kind of renegade looking after my numbers. Renegade? Yeah. I was just like,

but you know, like you got this guy's like on the phone, proper, like got a little bit of, you know, just straight, straight laced. And all of a sudden he's sitting there

just nicking pints. I was genuinely saying to you, is there more going on than this, just this? I think that might have been one of the sexiest things I've ever sung. Just that sentence in isolation. I don't want a renegade looking after my numbers. Oh, my God. Sounds like the fucking beginning of a grime tune.

Ah! Ah! Have you ever taken anyone's car keys off them? No, I haven't. I don't think... I haven't got the muscle or the fucking respect within my peer group to do that. Like, you see it sometimes on a soap or a grain... You know, where someone's like,

yeah, fuck it, I'm going to drive home, and someone's going, no, you're bloody not, and they grab the car keys and go... It's like a known phenomenon, isn't it? It takes an incredible strength of character to step up and do something like that it's like um that they they did a study and by the way i'm half arsing this completely but they they did a study where like there have been incidents of of like it's so difficult to step against the group and and say something different right so

they've had a situation, like they've been, they've been loads of situations where in like, in operations or whatever, one of the nurse, like you know when an operation's gone wrong and at the end of it they investigate and they go, they've had like five medical professionals in the room. How could nobody have spotted that this is the wrong way to do it?

And it's because of social, of like pressure, peer pressure, where like you're watching it and like, you know, they talk about it after like you you're watching it and like you know they talk about it after they talk to them after and like a nurse would be going i actually did think that that was wrong but i thought oh god it must be i must be i must have made a mistake here i'm not going to say something because this guy's more senior to me or or whatever and so they just fucking let it go and happens so much so the idea that you'd have the social sort of courage

and also let's be absolutely honest, the person taking the car keys of someone is in the right but that and also in the social group, let me tell you as well, everyone's respecting that person, like this is

a genuine thing, I used to drink at a respecting that person like this is this is a genuine thing where i used to drink in a pub right this is sad very sad sort but there's a guy who drank in a pub whose son was knocked down by a drink driver right and then he used to come in the pub and he'd drink in the pub and drive home he did he's over like 15 60 like he'd literally get leathered in the pub and then drive home berating drink driving it was such a weird thing that you genuinely sit there and think you're doing the same thing. Right. And I used to say to him,

no, you know, you know, let me talk you out of taxi. I'll get someone to drop you home. He's like, no, I'll fucking drive.

Like, you know, and you, you think surely the thing that you, you're, you're fucking, you're making a stand against is the very thing now that you're, you're,

you're fucking doing, but not, not once did I ever fuck it. And it's sort of you know you feel a bit ashamed of yourself that i never had the fucking aptitude just to go you know what mate grab his keys and go i'll get you know number one because i think he'd probably have beaten me up i'd have probably become the focus point weirdly as a person stopping the drink driving to be like the sort of attention of all his anger but it's an insane thing like

i saw you know when you see something happen in front of you and someone does something and it's like a really moral, sort of incredible thing? You know, I've done it within my group with racism and stood up and said something. And then what? One of the others has said, that's pretty racist, Tom, what you just said.

Yeah, I've said something pretty racist and someone's brought me to task for it. No, I've sort of, someone said something, I've said something pretty racist and someone's brought me to task for it. No, I've sort of, someone said something and I've argued about it and then within the group then felt ostracised, sort of almost like

pushed out a little bit during say like, you know, the football game or the evening that we're having and then the next sort of morning I get a text from someone

going, I thought it was really cool actually, it was really fucking good. It's bad, isn't it? And then someone said something and you're like, well,

why couldn't you fucking say something last night? Because I felt like an absolute, like fucking, I thought it was really cool, actually. It was really fucking good. It's bad, isn't it? You said something, you're like, well, why couldn't you fucking say something last night? It's bad, isn't it? Because I felt like an absolute, like, fucking... I thought, you sort of sit there thinking, I've done the right thing, but now I probably will never be able to socially... You know, I don't want to socially sort of, like,

mix with half these people, but, yeah, it's a really strange thing of actually sort of... Yeah. ...standing up and doing something. Yeah. Now, here's a quick question now here's it it is a quick question if i can just do a quick gear change right like that that conversation we've just had for the first whatever 20 minutes this podcast right quite we got quite deep we started off

quite funny about the driving got quite deep how do you feel about if we've got that deep in a in a live setting i mean bearing in mind that you're sort of used to what do you think what do you think it'll be like um crack open a can of self-indulgence because i'm up for this well yeah the answer is we're gonna find out i mean obviously we won't have exactly the same conversation because um i can't believe i can't believe we've not mentioned it yeah we're it's happening no it's it's happening. It's happening, guys. It's happening with Wolf on Owl Live. I was about to say it's coming to your town,

but it's highly likely it isn't because we're doing a couple of warm-ups and just one major one just to see how it goes. So that's happening. Wolf on Owl Live. Good luck. No, I'm joking. We are doing pre-sales of the tickets.

If you go to... Tom, do you have a website? No, no, no, no, no, no. no okay because i was feeling bad about this being off my website and then if you don't have a website yeah yeah but you have a website yeah this is that is that's the most big dick move i've seen you do for quite some time yeah because yeah you're absolutely right i don't know what it is about you challenging on big dick moves oh you live near a church and you've got a website can i say something a website's had about nine hits in the last two and a half years.

But I'm just saying, the reason is that I'm about to read this website out and it's off my website and I felt bad. So I was just double checking that there was a reason for this. If Luke Skywalker and Han Solo were going to do a live podcast, right? Luke Skywalker, they'd use his

website because Han probably wouldn't have one. Because Han's cooler and doesn't have a website, yeah, sure. Okay, so it's romishrangernathan.co.uk slash wolf and owl, all as one word. Wolf and owl, not the ampersand, the word. Wolf and owl.

Sign yourself up to the mailing list and you will get details of the tick-ticks. It's going to happen in March We'll both put the link up on Wednesday as this hits up Thank you as well everyone for the buy up of all the merch Before we have some more

for the live shows Maybe some more designs Let's diversify so that we end up with more less overstock what I really want is those

Bacardi rum t-shirts well listen Bacardi I imagine I imagine Bacardi are absolutely delighted with what's happened regarding that

being mentioned on the podcast I'll tell you who's not delighted about being mentioned on the podcast is Newman oh wow

now is it Newman or Newman yeah it's Newman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Newman, right. So you slapped your dick on the table in the last episode and said that Newman doesn't work

and you're willing to get... You want four subjects to choose. By the way, thanks for that. Having to sift through a thousand bald men emails has been fun thanks for that it's all good for you isn't it doing this fucking call to arms and not having to do any of the fucking admin for it anyway just quickly

Napoleon wasn't doing admin you know Napoleon was out there on the fucking front line fighting the battles and then he had someone clerical back up so I'm your clerk am I you're like the clerical guy up. So I'm your clerk am I? You're like the clerical guy. Napoleon's like

we're going to fucking rain down blows upon our enemies. I'm going to take the battleships and fucking fight people and you're

like how many battleships do you bloody need? I do think that is apt for you because you do for a big guy you do have exceptional small

man complex. It all makes sense. How many bloody battleships do you need? How many horses do you need? Just get it done. I'm not a thinker. I'm a fighter. Alright? Make it happen. I'm conquering you

fucking mug. So anyway, Newman, I don't know if you want to read this out, Tom, or you want me to read this out. I think it's good for you to read it out. So basically, Tom said Newmanman doesn't work he's angry with people who are involved in the advertising this product yeah um and and and he he basically said he was gonna he wanted four people to get in touch because he knew it involved no extra work for him whatsoever and he would pay for their treatments now newman touch. Oh, yeah, this is the other thing. Tom said if it did work,

he would clean my feet for a month in some weird bring-me-into-it-for-some-unknown-reason way. So anyway, the reason I've said that, it'll become clear. Newman, dear Mr Davis, here at Newman, we're big fans of the Wolf and Owl podcast. However, we're not such big fans

of you slamming us like Storm Eunice. We want to be completely transparent. Is it Eunice? Yeah, Eunice. Yeah, I think so. Not Eunice, is it? We want to be completely transparent. Not all hair loss products work,

and there's more snake oil online than there are hairless men. But here at Newman, we only provide treatments that are clinically proven to work to people we believe they'll work for. Oh, my gosh, Tom. What's more, we're willing to put our money where our mouth is we'll provide the four hair growth kits and let them do the talking if you find four of your listeners who are a little bit sparse in the hair department if they have extremely fine hairs or even microscopic stubble we can help we also need

to make it clear that we're not however miracle, miracle workers. Once you're bald, there's no coming back. Only a toupee or a trip to Turkey can save you. Still up for cleaning Romesh's feet. Best, Newman. Brackets the formerly bald eagle. So how do you feel about that? I'm up for it, man. I'm up for it.

Of course you're up for it because it saved you a little bit of money, you fucking tight prick. No, no. I think, look, let me say this right i went i called to arms right yeah like very much you know like any sort of war situation i've made a step in one direction newman have now stepped up as well okay so now we're what they call tenderhooks so this is a mexican standoff? We now need to be very, very, very vigilant and find these four people. Like, you know, what my worry is,

is I'm too emotionally, you know, into this thing that, you know, should I be able to, would I be able to pick the four people? I think it almost needs a sort of third person. Like to pick our follicly challenged brothers, our brethren. Okay, well, listen, who are you suggesting you suggesting oh you know what could be fun what could be really fun right sunday evening

at the ranganathan household right you know what you could do is get all the pictures of the bald men and then like you and the boys and lisa pick like your favorite four. Turn it into the X Factor. Can I tell you something? I already have issues about how much respect my children have for me, about what I do and how I conduct myself. The idea that I would tell them that as part of Dad's job, we've got to select four bald men to experiment on. But you know, like, the X Factor.

You know, like, the X Factor, right? When they're all, like, standing there and, like, you know, Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell and everyone going head-to-head on, like, who their favourite ones are. You could actually film it as well. Film it and put it out as content. This would be a more effective wind-up

if there was any fucking chance of me doing anything. You've got an island in your house, right? What do you mean? In the kitchen? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a slam. That's not a slam.

It's the same. Get all the faces printed up. Or do it like the Tinder. Swipe across, right or left. swipe across right or left I genuinely think Theo might be a little too old for it but let me tell you Alex and Charlie would get a rush out of it and Lisa would love it so you think the younger the better for choosing these bald men

for this experiment I think it would just be a fun family thing and I think in years to come they'll be like Theo's wedding or Charlie or Alex's, one of their weddings, I go,

oh, fucking hell, remember when Dad used to, like, get pictures of bald men and we'd pick our favourite ones? Yeah. I'm glad he's estranged.

I'm glad we divorced him. Have you spoken to him? No. Apparently, they're still doing that podcast, but none of the networks will let them do it, so they just sort of shout it in the park. Those four guys that we helped out, they're all here.

Yeah. Apparently, Tom and Dad just go meet up with those four guys every week. One of them's really hairy. The other three's still bald as fuck. Oh God. One of my favourite things ever. That was genuinely... I'd pay to watch that man a fresh voice can speak to you

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we've had family here um great meat that comes for the first time yeah it's been good man it's been amazing

it's been a beautiful blessed time uh she's yeah she's incredible the little little rascal uh before

this podcast uh did the the poo of all poos it was pretty fucking biblical to be fair yeah i i'll never forget theo doing a doing a shit and then doing a piss into that shit yeah and creating sort of a porridge that i then had to deal with yeah Yeah. What's mad as well is, and I don't know if this is all babies, it's like whenever I seem to be cleaning up her crap, I look up at her and there's a smile on her face. And I don't know whether it's a smile of like just contention and because she just had a poo and I smile when I'm at a poo or it's like,

yeah, get stuck into that, your mug. I don't know. I do wonder that, you know, like we were talking about it. I can't remember.

Is it last one or one before, about when kids start to form memories. And I don't know if they form clear memories, but they definitely have a sense that you're absolutely fucking under the cosh with them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like this morning, because I was like, I was conscious yesterday was quite full on.

Like, you know, I was cooking, but Catherine was sort of like, you know, hosting, entertaining. I was like, this morning, I was conscious yesterday was quite full on. I was cooking, but Catherine was hosting, entertaining. I was like, this morning, I was like, I'll get up with Grace in the morning. I'll do all those bits and try and give Catherine a bit of a light. So I was trying this morning to sort of multitask. And I was like, oh my God. I literally got everything done, shopping put away, bits done for our roast today.

And then, yeah, and then that poo hit. And you're like wow that's like yeah that was like it was like a big storm that came well you hit bad by the storm

by the way we had a tree down in the garden oh wow man yeah yeah how many trees have you got in your garden

well obviously one less than you sir yeah how many trees oh wow five five trees fuck that's so

you're talking about no but they're massive trees it's like small trees across the back of the gun oh nice nice well like an acre plot why are you doing this i'm just asking because five trees all in like do you know what i'd like i'd like i'd like to not i'd like to do this podcast just once and not feel like I'm the victim of a fucking journalist sting would that be alright a journalist sting I've spent the last fucking ten years

working for the sun I literally have sculpted fucking four or five TV shows somebody said to you years ago the big one we want

to take down we need to get there's a guy coming up on the circuit he's done like one mock the week we need you to fucking

absolutely eviscerate this guy don't worry about it fucking comedy's an absolute piece of piss who is he Romesh Ranganathan what the

cupboard guy from to creating oh god yeah the son is so angry we're so angry as a publication

that he would do something as shit as that we want to take him down at some point in the future i don't want to go undercover yeah i'll make a i'll make a bafta winning series that completely like creates a new genre of television just so we can take this prick down i'm too i'm in too deep what an awful version of id there was oh fucking hell i mean i read an article the other day. Have you read this thing

about, like, fucking these undercover coppers that end up, like, marrying completely innocent people and shit like that? They're not even involved in the things. Mate, it's crazy. I read this story. I read this story recently about this woman that, like, got married to an undercover copper

who was, like, investigating this hooligan ring or something, or protest ring. And she wasn't really involved in it. She hadn't committed any crime. It wasn't like... So she was just somebody he was using to help. And she thought she was... It's horrible.

She thought she was in a loving relationship. And this guy's already fucking married. Do you know what I mean? It's mad. Like Donnie Brescoe kind of vibes. That happened loads, apparently. Probably still does happen, but like... It's like... That's one thing I'm always... Do you know what? mean it's mad that happened loads apparently probably still does happen but like that's one thing I'm always can I just apologise I just need to apologise

to you Tom and everyone listening this is the second time this has happened now where I without really any grasp of any real facts just sort of fucking meander my way through a story I can't tell you when it happened I can't tell you what exactly I don't even know if what I. I can't tell you what exactly.

I don't even know if what I'm saying is true. Did you skim read the article? No, I read it properly, but my retention of that kind of shit is just horrendous. So your brain is full, or your brain is a cluttered room. Do you think so? I think your brain's incredible, but it's got a lot of fucking,

like, yeah, like if it was like a storage unit, there'd be no room left in it. Someone would be trying to cram in a sofa and there's just nothing left do you know what's so mad about you saying this is that one of the things that started to become clear since we've moved house is i've got a couple of areas one is like my the room not in now and like i've got a little tiny like voiceover like booth thing in the in the garage right those are the areas that i am solely responsible for they're so much messier and more disgusting than any other areas in the house

all right just shit everywhere i i've got a problem no no but what in fact are you messy mate i'm actually i'm oh yeah i'm messy but let me just say this is where i'm at right this is my office i'm in now right right this is so this my little sacred space. I've got the garage, which is my gym and whatever in there. But this is my space. What I've noticed, Ron, is as soon as we've got guests staying and we've got people coming around, instead of tidying up, what tends to happen is everything just gets put in this room.

Everything just gets loaded into this room. And now it's just literally just packed full of hoovers and fucking dirty washing bins. The rest of the house looks like a fucking people everyone's come around going oh my god it's amazing that you've got a newborn and your house is so neat and tidy and then like you come in this room you're like oh we've literally just crammed everything like a fucking mickey mouse sketch where he's just like pushing up against the wall i'm like where am i supposed to do the podcast oh you'll be able to work your way into like a maze type fashion to get to your fucking desk which also had loads of shit on it do you know what's so funny is that like i know the podcast listen i love doing this podcast with

you but and you know it's part of your job i guess you could describe it as but the words where am i supposed to do my podcast i mean they sound so pathetic don't they imagine saying that to a house you know because like like all of my friends i don't know if you but my mates all think that where am I supposed to do my podcast? I mean, it sounds so pathetic, doesn't it? Imagine saying that to a house. You know, because all of my friends, I don't know if you've heard, my mates all think that what I do is a fucking joke of a job anyway, right? And then saying to your, if Lisa and her mum are in the living room, I go, I'm just off to do my podcast. I mean, the look they give me, even from Lisa, who's involved in the podcast, the sort of look they give me,

oh, you're going off to do your little podcast oh he's doing important work isn't he he's off to do something really go on you go to your office and go change the world go on one step at a time one episode at a time well dad literally just did that so my mum and dad are downstairs and I'm

putting the Ocado stuff around my mum went Grace has had a poo like that like essentially like passing me a baby just enrolled in shit and mum went, Grace has had a poo like that. Like essentially like passing me a baby, just enrolled in shit. And then she's like, Grace had a poo. And I'm like, so I've just got to put a shopping way,

clean up case. Then I've got to do the podcast. So I'm like, this is no joke. This is literally, as I said it, I felt so, I was like,

this is why men of my age have heart attacks. And my dad went, well, so I've got to do podcasts. He's right. I was like, this is why men of my age have heart attacks. And my dad went, well, because they've got to do podcasts. He's right. My dad worked in all weathers running a garage for fucking 50 odd years. Like, fucking shit.

My mum worked for the NHS when it was getting the shit kicked out of it by Margaret Thatcher. And then I'm standing there, almost like a middle class fucking person. They don't even want to I have to do a podcast and I might have a heart attack like Tommy Cooper halfway through it it's so funny because like my mum is like because like my dad was like such a was you know put it about a bit and it's a bit of a nightmare to be married to my mum my mum sort of constantly sort of she she complains about my dad, my dead dad, a lot.

Yeah. And bigs up me and my brother a lot because, you know, she's like, everything we do is great and whatever. And it's so funny. She's like, my dad, my dad was running a pub and working in an office during the day. Like, he was doing both of those things for years, right? Trying to make ends meet.

My mum, oh, your bloody father. And then I'll say to her um what do you up to at the moment i said i've got to do i'm doing the radio show in the garage and then tomorrow i'm doing the podcast oh my god won't my darling doesn't get a single free weekend oh ronnie be careful darling be careful fuck man it's embarrassing you do that 60 to 70 percent of your fucking yearly work in your fucking slippers and a pair of fucking shorts in the winter i like my dad looks at me sometimes i swear and it's like i you know i worked on

fucking i worked like like you did i grafted a proper job i know how like freaking out so i've got to do a fucking podcast and it's like I don't even know what my mind space will be like as I'm putting fucking be easy on us though bro you know

we've got to be easy on ourselves it's all about perspective do you know what I mean the truth is we're very lucky to do this but it has ruined us as people

yeah okay do you want to do some emails my dude I'd love to break off some email juice baby because I'm about to hit some fucking flavour.

I'm so excited about doing the live shows. Are you? I can't wait. I just, you know what? I think there's going to be a moment where I just take a breath. I stare at you. You know, like in a film

where they're just about to sort of like, you know, there's just a break and the music stops. It just goes silent. We look at each other and we just go. And then we just look out in front of the crowd and everyone just everyone just takes that moment, that breath and we all do it together in unison

and then we just start talking again that would be fucking beautiful Have you been watching a lot of talent shows recently because Old Rue runs a pop idol No because I think you know you've obviously you're at home looking after Grace

when you're not working so you're not out much so okay so that's you at home earlier on you made an X Factor reference out of fucking nowhere and now you're talking about looking out into the audience

and oh it's little it's little who would have thought little Tom and Rommel should be end up here on this stage doing our live podcast? You know what? We should start by doing

this Shallow song from A Star Is Born. Right? I've not seen that film. I can't believe you still haven't seen it. It makes me fucking feel sick. But you can be like, I'll send you the video so you can get it into your head right

okay i think i'll probably i don't know who's cool like so someone has to be bradley cooper basically and start the podcast off and then the other one's apprehensively standing at the side of the stage like lady gaga i don't know if i can do this and then basically like i suppose you'll have to do like the big shout out and everyone's like and then lady gaga has just come to running out onto stage grabs the microphone blows the fucking mic everyone's like, and then Lady Gaga has just come to running out onto stage, grabs the microphone, blows the fucking mic. It's like incredible. Okay.

Okay. Listen, listen, listen, listen. There's one thing I want to ask you not to do on these live shows. Okay. And, and I know it will be absolute fucking ace up your sleeve.

Is it at some point it will come up your impression of me. And I know, and I know how you're going to, I know exactly how you'd handle it. Cause I know you say, well, you've got this. No,

listen, I, I, you're getting some fucking I know you say, well, you go like this. No, listen. You're getting some fucking development out of the one of me at the moment. Leave me. You're going to go, I don't want to do that because, listen, Romesh, he's my soul, he's my heart, he's my kidneys, all right? And what I don't want to do is on this live show,

disrespect him. And I know exactly what you're doing. What you're trying to do is create a protest in the middle of the thing they've been going no do it no i can't i can't and then all of a sudden do it do it do it and then you can't do it tell me something boy oh god right um okay emails thank you once again to the swan who um has been very busy but managed to do this i actually actually said also shout out the swan for who sent out all the merch um and if you want to keep messaging any merch that was outstanding from the last batch it'll be with you forthwith so the Swan

she did a really cool thing I said to her she'd been really busy this week I said don't worry about the emails I'll sort it out this week and then this morning she just goes to me just say you know done the emails you're welcome just sort of stalled it out like that what a woman

a credit to this podcast and to the human race She just goes to me, just say, you know, done the emails. You're welcome. Just sort of stalled it out like that. What a woman. A credit to this podcast and to the human race. She slightly ruined a thing for me, though, actually. So have you watched the Kanye West? No, no, no. I saw you. It emotionally entangled you yesterday. Were you seriously worried about that? Yeah, yeah, I was.

Because I was like, I know how tired you are. This is no joke. I actually genuinely felt a little. I listened to one of the podcasts back and then like you've been out partying quite a lot recently you've like genuinely no you've been working i know and i mean this i was like oh shit maybe i'm making light of maybe he's feeling a bit blue because i know how hard you're working you know and i was like i'm quite conscious i've got a couple of friends at the moment who are the same age as me and you are going through stuff and i've spoken to them quite a lot then i just was like oh maybe i'm making light of the situation but that's what i need to apologize to you then because

you did what you're supposed to do and reached out and went hope you're right and i think my response was you wasn't it yeah yeah but with hahaha you did loads of laughs yeah wasn't it yeah yeah but with ha ha ha he did loads of laughs yeah so then i knew yeah but basically what happened was is this this documentary i've only watched the first one i think the only the first one's available kanye west basically years and years ago this is incredible story in itself the making of this thing years and years ago somebody saw kanye west before he was like when he just started like taking off as a producer and just thought this guy is going to be something huge and so basically dropped everything to

just document his journey filming him right and so this documentary is the result of that anyway I'm watching it and loving it and that's why I posted about there's a bit where basically Doug Infinite who's another producer from Chicago

did a diss track to Kanye and then in this documentary you see Kanye kind of dealing with you know he's not even put out one of his own songs yet and he's got a diss track against him he was so gutted and then he saw the guy in the street and they had a chat about it this is a guy that used they used to be really good friends it was horrible like really sad anyway that was all it's worth watching it's really worth watching it's quite inspirational actually you see you sort of seeing what kind of ended up doing and and how many people completely there's a bit where he's walking through rockefeller records trying to play people his music because basically he was known as a producer but he wanted to be a rapper like he

wanted to be an actual artist in himself and there's a bit where he's walking around rockefeller records playing his music to people playing songs that are off his first album that fucking went like won so many awards and people had like treated him like he's an annoying kid do you mean it's so mad anyway um i was watching it, and then Lisa pointed out that the guy that filmed it all and was narrating sounds a little bit like Forrest Gump, and that was the whole thing fucking ruined. I just couldn't get that out of my head.

So you've ruined it for me, and everyone else is going to listen to it now. Well, I wonder if other people are sort of able to tune my wife's voice out of their sphere of influence. I'm going to listen to it. I've got it it down to watch later there's a lot of good shit out yeah listen we've got to get into emails but the other two things i watched i think we talked about this it's tinder swindler and i can't remember what the other one's called the one about just saying something about this because the tinder suit i watched now i've seen the whole

thing it's fucking yeah like just like insane and like just yeah grimy and like but you know like I don't know if you've had this so um someone pretending to be me on tinder right and I've heard of this about four or five times with people using my picture on tinder is it your actual photo yeah so it's a picture of me like uh like numerous pictures that I've got off the internet and and people are using it and you're like number one i think like if you're going to pretend to be anyone why pretend to be me because it's sort of pretty distinctive and pretty you know it also is like you know it's not really the honey trap of all honey traps i'm sort of like they're gonna i don't i don't i just don't get it i don't get that side of like i suppose it's more catfishing right two freshly

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And that's exactly what I'd say if I was married but had set up a profile and got caught. No, this is the mad thing. This morning, I've been sent a load of pictures, right, from a club last night of people going, oh, mate, great to meet you. Fucking loved having a few beers with you last night. With a picture of numerous people and this guy who is not me. There's a guy there, like, out last night.

I'm, like like messaging people back. I've seen this picture. You posted it on Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy doesn't look like you really. No, but I've had a few of these pictures of people saying like, oh, nice to meet you

and all this, right? That was a legend one. I don't really want to give this guy any more attention than he fucking actually needs. But it's insane, right? And now I'm like... He doesn't look anything like you.

What I would say, he looks like the't look anything like you what i would say he looks like the pringles guy what i would say though is um i uh i get that loads mate i i get tagged in photos where people go it happens all the time just some asian bloke with a beard and glasses and they just messaged me going so good to meet you and and i got somebody going somebody messaged me going um you're in Nando's I've just seen Nando's with you and I'm scared to come over and I haven't got the heart to say to them that's not me

like please do go over because it's some fucking random brown bloke I just don't get the catfish thing of using a picture of someone because as soon as you turn up and also they don't even use my real name. I'm not saying I'm

like a known known person but if you're calling yourself Trevor Trevor 43 from fucking Nuneaton, people are going sure that's Tom Davis. It's just an insane thing to do. Or the guy is

thinking you're the best version of his kind of guess who characteristics i mean yeah yeah beards glasses sort of high and all that and he sort of thinks what's the best representation of that tom davis is so fucking slight on someone using my picture instead of my fucking big fuck stupid gappy smile oh whoa whoa i will not allow you to talk about yourself like that you're a fucking fine figure of a man um okay let's get to these emails that we promised we're gonna do 10 minutes ago this is from the honey badger uh dear wolf swan and cat i like it when they include cats i like it when a cat cat feels very dear included um please keep me anonymous

unless your real name's Honey Badger I think we've managed it thanks for an epic podcast could be someone's name yours sincerely Honey Badger thanks for an epic podcast I've had live comedy in the midst of first lockdown

and your podcast and various TV series stand-up specials have been a massive part of improving my mental health so thank you wednesday morning is now the highlight of my week and i've listened to every episode at least three times wowzers wowzers now to my problem i've been chatting to someone since september we've only seen each other three times but we talk on the phone for hours and message each other about every aspect of our day neither of us have admitted what is the nature of our relationship as we're both pretty quiet and shy but recently i wanted to see if we can take the next step and admit our feelings for each other we both have our dream jobs that mean constant foreign travel and a lack of social life seeing each other is difficult as we're not often

in the same country at the same time i've just turned 20 but i've never felt a connection to someone in this way before should i cut my losses and stop things before they progress and one of us inevitably gets hurt or go for it and admit my feelings i already know what tom's take on this is going to be he's the funniest and kindest soul i've met and we don't want to lose him as a friend either the big twist to this would be if he's the guy that's been masquerading as tom davis on tinder yeah i'm just thinking that thanks and ps tom loved the curse watching with my parents who were teenagers in the east end of the 80s and it's provided our family a number of funny dinnertime anecdotes this week. The Honey Badger.

Well, Honey Badger, thank you. I'm very touched by that. That's very nice of you. And, you know, big up yourself. Okay. I have watched a hell of a lot of Catfish. So my gut instinct right now is, yo, we need to make sure this person is 1,000 million percent real.

Right? I know you've talked to him on the phone but I'd say actually for anyone getting to involved in any kind of internet romance or sort of like social media romance watch catfish because it's like basically like do not have do not and whatever like situation that said sometimes in catfish one of the most joyous moments is when two people meet up and they've had this bond they've spoken for a long time and they just click and it's yeah takes my breath away yeah yeah i will sit there and i'll sometimes i'll watch the best moments of catfish relationships the real walk down memory lane of some of my favourite characters over that show of a year.

So I'd say, listen, you need to be careful. You need to be really, like, on this. But there's nothing better than love, baby. And if you've found someone who completes you and makes you feel good about yourself and makes you feel like, you know, that's the person you, you enjoy speaking to them. You meet up and let this ride on the wave of love.

Let me tell you, there ain't no ride like it, baby. I wondered how you're going to finish that sentence. And you did not disappoint. Yeah. Listen, I would,

I totally echo what Tom said. You need to be safe. You need to be safe. You need to be safe and do whatever that takes. And that obviously means things like, uh, letting people know where you're going to be meeting, checking in with people to let them know what you're up to. It's just,

you know, these are annoying things that you have to do. Uh, when you're meeting up with people, I've always thought in that situation, I mean, you could be like, um,

uh, Neve and the other guy like who go um along go check up on those catfish people yeah yeah

and then we just follow her like follow the honey badger on the date sort of thing do we do we do

because I feel like I need to start recommending you things to watch if you're going to exclusively give advice based on something you've happened to have

seen in the last day if you're like me going you know uh yeah you know what I think is you know based on you know if you really happened to have seen in the last day. If you're like me going, you know, yeah, well, you know, what I think is, you know, based on, you know, if you really want to become a rapper, just sort of keep going for it. Ignore the doubters, do you know what I mean?

Ignore the doubters and the haters. And eventually you might end up bringing out like one of the biggest shoe lines in the history of trainers. What's lovely about our development as human beings is we come at this from different angles, right? You've got like, from one side, you've got this hip-hop cool edgy version of yourself but then also no there's this sweet sweet nerd in there who still fucking believes in care bears and fucking

marvel superheroes and shit like that right with me it's like you know there's like this gritty side of me which is all about dramas and fucking like sort of high-end fucking tv programs but also there's no but also catfish reality tv oh i see right oh sorry yeah i've just sat what shout out actually uh one of my favorite things at the moment is um rob beckett on uh uh celebs go dating i think that genuinely is one of the funniest things in the world like his commentary on that uh this is the second time you mentioned what is What is going on? Are you two going to do a podcast together? No, no.

I just... At the moment, it's on every night of the week, right? And Catherine loves watching it. But Catherine watches it kind of because she's

interested in celebrities and stuff. I genuinely watch it because I think it's a work of art to be lampooning a TV show as such whilst being involved in a TV show as such whilst being involved

in a TV show. I'm only joking. It's very, very funny, man. He's a brilliant man. His joke rate on it, it's like a machine gun. To make the VO the star of the show

is pretty unbelievable. It's incredible. Probably since like with Sterling and Love Island but I'd say Beckett there is just, yeah, boom, boom, boom, boom,

it's real, it's a joy. Anyway, Honey Badger, what I would say to you is two things one uh go and see how it goes because uh like tom said the payoff the potential payoff is unbelievable um but what i would also say the caveat to that would be is that if you do meet up with this person and it doesn't work out uh you're 20

and and i know it will feel horrible at that time but listen you will find love and love will find you so you know wow wow wow someone just took themselves a little advice pill went oh that was beautiful man that was a really wow yo yeah maybe you have been listening for the last year and a half i think it was pretty route one what i said but yeah thank you uh uh okay well good luck honey badger again need to reiterate take precautions be really really safe meet in an open place that you know be very very very very very cautious okay because i'm worried about your sister yeah be super super super super careful please um okay uh our next email good luck honey badger by the way and thanks for getting in touch and let us know how it goes please please yeah please do

okay so this is from oh god your lovely wife's not gonna be happy with this this is from the cat oh wow uh hi wolf allen swan love the pod hope you're all good my daughter has joined her local under eights football team i couldn't be prouder the coach made a captain making her the first female captain of the club congratulations as a dad i feel like i have to protect obviously but also set good examples while doing so my issue is other parents say things like well she's only captain because she's a girl and well it makes the team weaker if she plays, you know, being the only girl. I've tried to set good examples and tried the reasonable approach

in explaining why it's completely wrong, and as parents we're meant to be a team and support each other's kids when they're playing, but I'm running out of ideas. Any advice would be a massive help. Peace and love for Kat. P.S. I'm bald and willing to be part of the Newman test. Okay, Tom.

Yo, number one, the Katiman test. Okay. Tom. Yo, number one, the cat, let me just say this. That is the majority of that, right? Is number one. It's fucking bile and it makes me fucking seething.

Um, that, that is sort of like the way that parents are going with stuff, but that's, I don't think that's necessarily just about her, you know, being your daughter. I think there's a lot of, always a lot of jealousy about,

you know, when it comes to kids football, i think we talked about this the other week actually and it's sort of kind of what we were talking about earlier on this podcast that i think people just people believe that that should probably be their kid that they should be that you know should the captain or their kid so that's already going to build animosity the fact that sort of sexism and stuff is happening at that sort of fucking age at eight is abhorrent and i think that you know that's on them man and and you know i think you can say your piece but i think the small mindedness of people and i think especially when it comes to sort of you know there's an element of almost toxic masculinity to this, of even at the age of eight, parents looking at their boys,

and, you know, it's a sad, sad thing with Fez, that's where we're at, is that they're looking at their sons and they've got a female captain and they're somehow fucking just picking on the fact that that's the reason why. And, you know, I find that really, I find it really just quite sad.

You know, it's something that, you know, as a massive football fan, I look forward really just quite sad. You know, it's something that, you know, as a massive football fan, I look forward to hopefully Grace playing. I'd love to see my daughter play football. I'd love to sort of, you know, the best player when I was a kid that played in my football team when I played when I was a kid

was a little girl, Davina, who was an incredible footballer. She was like, well, you know, and there was, you know, back then you're going to have a mix of parents who are sort of against it and parents that are for it. And I think the trouble is was you know back then you're gonna have a mix of parents who are sort of against it and parents that are for it and i think the trouble is you know and it's like you know what's heartbreaking you still feel in 2022 you've still like been groundbreaking just have a little girl

who's captain and a kid's team at eight i don't know it just actually spun me out a bit because i just thought maybe we're a bit more progressive than that. But I think the one thing that if your daughter continues, and so she should as captain, as a player, the one thing that it will do is it will make her stronger because she'll be seeing what's going on one way or another. She'll pick up on that. And that will make her hopefully a stronger stronger woman in the future because she can be proven doubt was wrong at that age as a brilliant little footballer and a captain

and a credit to the beautiful game so uh my my words would be don't worry about getting involved in arguments or you know which is a bit against what i was saying earlier but just be there for your daughter enjoy watching her play enjoy her proving people wrong week in, week out. And one day when she's picking up a World Cup for the England women's team, know that you are the guy who supported her week in, week out. And that's all she needs. Unless, of course, there's another parent involved,

in which case that's good as well. What I would say is... Yeah, the cat has been in and said these things. Yeah, sure, sure I would say yeah yeah yeah yeah sure yeah yeah I just like if we did that

if we did that yeah yeah we'd be like alright yeah it's the cats the cats ask for advice

yeah yeah no I get it it's the cat and the kitten we're both after advice yeah no I get it sure

sure sure yeah I'm like a dealer at a blackjack table I can only deal with the yeah no I get you sure sure sure yeah I'm like a dealer at a blackjack table I can only deal with the people in front of me sure sure sure

no I get you I get you I get you I would say that you're listen there's two attitudes I've got to this one is that these people are

the instinctive thing is to think these people are fucking pricks and fuck them and I respect that attitude but also there's a little bit to be said for sort of putting yourself in their People are fucking pricks and fuck them. And I respect that attitude. But also there's a little bit to be said for sort of putting yourself in their shoes. Basically, you're dealing with a heady mix of people's insecurities about their own children. And that will make people behave in unacceptable ways.

And so actually these parents, if you said to them, if they heard this story that other parents are saying this about somebody they'd be they'd be like what the hell why would somebody talk like that but then as soon as their children involved because you're so tied up in your kids doing the best and and and your duties as a parent what happens is is you throw your your kind of your judgment gets a bit distorted so what i would say to you is, on top of what Tom said, is that although it's fucking annoying and you need to protect your daughter from this, I would say there's no point trying to... I would say there is...

Look, you can tackle it if you want, but the truth is it's easy to ignore it. But I would also maybe be a bit forgiving of these people, I guess. You know, because they're riddled with insecurities about their own parenting and their own children and what that means. And so that's why they're behaving the way they are. Good luck, the cat. And to your daughter.

Congratulations on the captaincy. OK, Tom. Yeah. You know, it's quite timely, actually actually because I've just heard Lisa return home and I know that means I have got about 10 minutes to get ready to go and take Charlie to football with her so

without further delay Tom could you please take us out of the tin yo what is society how does it work if we've got it right everybody should just be getting on and we should be getting the same fizz from the same fizzy drink all the time. But sometimes that fizzy drink tends to be a little bit flatter for some.

All I'm saying is if we had a well of Pepsi or Coca-Cola, everyone should come to the well and drink the same the same it should always be fizzy and it should always give you that regurgitation of a burp and everyone should enjoy that burp as we grow and as the world turns and we are faced with more and more adversity whether it be a pandemic or whether it be a storm that rips through our homes and gives us power cuts and puts trees down in our acre plots of lands in where our castles sit, or whether it be a war many, many miles away that teats on the brink. Let's not lose sight of how far we've come. Let's not lose sight of who we are. Let's not lose sight of who we are let's not lose sight of looking next to us to our brother or sister or whoever they may be and saying yo you all right hey i've got a well here it's got some

pepsi in fancy a quencher be you but always keep an eye on others and that is what life's all about. There's a few things I'd like to comment on from that. The first one, I think, is whenever you do these, I know there's a certain face you pull when you regret starting it in the way that you have done, which you did about midway through that. You weren't sure where to go. That's pretty much been all of them. Secondly, the decision to move from talking about burping

to Russia's invasion of Ukraine is quite fucking incredible. But once again, you've done a great job, really good job. I'm really proud of you. Bless you, sir. Bless you and all the works inside you. So listen, all that leaves for us to say, guys, is just a little reminder, we are doing live shows in March. They're going to be announced. It's going to be announced on Wednesday,

and you are going to have access before anybody else to the tickets if you sign up for the mailing list at romishrangonathan.co.uk slash wolfandowl. Yeah, let's get a little picture now, and then we can stick up a picture, and we can stick up the oh what's going on oh here we go here we go sweet sweet pictures um all right tommy boy yo and remember i love you hello oh no no no no no no no please just say what you just said again because i'm going we're going out on that that's my favorite thing you've ever said what i've said've said it to you all the time.

Chill the flip. That was fucking cool, that is. Say it again. Say it again. It was nice. Tom, I'll see you next time. Thanks a lot. I love you, bro. Chill the flip. What? Chill the flip. Did I say chill the flip? Yeah, it was so fucking epic.

It was so effortlessly cool. Okay, right right here we go Tom chill the flip that was nice alright peace out if you have a problem

opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

Thank you.