Wolf and Owl - Ep 62: Hotel Rooms & Vegan Eggs

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

We’re talking…. favourite seasons, hotel room invasions, buffet portion control, egg ordering protocols, bald auctions, wholesome living and awkward public interactions. Then onto some listener’s email questions - this week on the end of a relationship, giving advice to your friends, and the right time and place to ask someone out. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Great value. Bush Lager. Enjoy responsibly. Must be legal drinking age. Outro Music sun to the moon, you'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing its head spinning. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Uh... Sure, sure, sure. Yes, welcome to the

Wolf and I podcast. Wolf and I podcast. That's another episode of the Wolf and I podcast. We're doing a Wolf and I podcast. Who wants to know Wolf and I podcast? Man, man, I'm on Wolf and I podcast.'re doing a Wolf of Now podcast who wants a Wolf of Now podcast man man I'm on Wolf of Now podcast yes hello hey hey hey Romesh Ringer Nathan

glazed in Tom Ford how are you? I'm alright mate I'm okay I feel tired today boy 5am start from yeah little Grace was up

with the larks this morning yeah she's yeah she's got that she's got that. She's getting that, like she likes to get the full day out. Yeah.

She's like really making the most of these last winter days. Um, likes to get out. She hates spring, doesn't she, Grace? Yeah. Yeah. She,

she, yeah, yeah. Spring's not her thing really. She's sort of like, she'd prefer to go much more into sort of from winter to summer. Yeah. The bullshit of spring is just,

I mean, spring's a sort of weird old month... Well, not month. Season, isn't it? Wouldn't you say? Yeah. I don't mind it. I don't think you can patch up.

It can't go toe-to-toe with autumn, summer or winter. It's very much the sort of ugly duck thing of all the seasons. I don't think that. Absolutely not true. Really? Spring's a great season. Why? New birth, growth.

Birth's happening all year round, for a start. Yeah, but I'm talking about animals. You start to see lambs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because infamously, you're always running around looking at little lambs. And obviously, more times than not, they're being bred for the meat industry. Anyway, actually, it's quite a tragic and sad sight for me. I don't know why I'm so excited about it.

What's going down? So your surroundings have changed. excited about it. Well, what's going down? So your surroundings have changed. Do you want to tell everyone what's going on in your life? Well, actually, I will do that. But before we do that, I want to get this out of the way. I need to apologize. Because a couple of people have emailed complaining about advice I gave to somebody on the last episode.

Whoa! Who, who, who? Well, it doesn't matter who they are, but it's too... Which bit of advice? Do you know Phil got in touch with us and he said his daughter was like these people at the football making comments about

his daughter. And saying things like she's only captain because she's a girl, etc. And a couple of people got in touch to say that they think I was a bit like, a bit soft on these people that were doing it basically do you mean because i in fact let me have a look if i can find uh so what they're saying i was right and you're wrong kind of thing no no if i'll be honest with you they they had a go at both of us but i was protecting you there but now you've decided to try and throw me under the bus like fuck you um what they say

no in all seriousness what in all seriousness one of them's talking about both of us and one of them is a bit more uh is about me yeah yeah so so basically the gist of it is is that um i sort of it is more me than you actually it's kind of me going, saying that the other parents need a bit of forgiveness and understanding and you shouldn't say anything. And normally, because obviously we get emails like this, you know, you do get emails where people disagree with what we're doing. But the reason I'm mentioning it in this instance is because I actually think I agree with these people.

I actually do think I agree with the criticism. So I wanted to kind of hold my hands up and say do you know what I think saying nothing which I think is what I said is probably the wrong option having said that um I don't think it should be an aggressive challenging of them I think these people need kind of a bit of a talking to like a calm talking to so I want to apologize to the two people that emailed in they know who they are i got it wrong and your emails in basically made me reflect on that and so yeah thanks man well you know what this is probably the quickest in any podcast ever invented that someone has climbed so quickly to the top of that humble mountain and sort of like stood there and just said look i'm here i'm sorry i'm a decent guy.

I got it wrong this time. Here's my hand. Here's my heart. I'm a shrunken Ethan. Let's make a new start as friends. It's slightly annoying that you've sort of done a better kind of apology than I did in taking the piss out of me. Actually, it was actually quite melodic and I enjoyed it. So anyway, in terms of my surroundings, right,

I'm in a hotel at the moment. I can't go home for COVID reasons. Anyway, I'm in a nice hotel. It looks luscious. It is nice. Is that an afternoon tea stack behind you there? That's for breakfast. I've got a bit of room service for breakfast.

Anyway. Stay in a hotel, 12 o'clock breakfast midday breakfast my guy you know how it is just five minutes before they do the last order Ron gets in there

fucking get it Daniel a vegan that's got to be the fucking worst thing you can get a call Tony's one more breakfast order and it's a vegan at that moment

Tony's life fell apart well actually it was it was chocolate almond and banana pancakes. Why don't you go fuck yourself? Oh, wow.

Vegan ones, though, right? Yeah, vegan ones, yeah. Yeah, oh, nice. Yeah, they make them out of mushroom. You can't tell the difference. They don't, do they? No, of course they don't. Anyway, listen.

So anyway, this morning, I'm lying in bed, right, watching The Jinx, because I thought seven years after it's made, I think think i should probably get on that so i was watching that in my pants in bed right and i basically i've got like a door going out onto a patio in this hotel i just i just opened it a bit just to let a bit of fresh air in it's a bit musty in the in the room right i can imagine i can imagine so i'm like i'm lying in bed right this is insane right i'm lying in bed one minute i'm lying in bed on my own watching the jinx 10 seconds later there's a dog and a kid in my room what right this kid what this kid was obviously walking the dog outside. The dog's got away from him, ran through the door,

and he's in my fucking hotel room. And the kid follows... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm just... You're on the ground floor, right? No. Three floors up. No, no, no.

It's Spider Dog and his mate. What the fuck are you talking about? No, no, no. You need a clarification when you're telling such a story. Well, I've got a fucking patio. What do you... I thought you meant you had, like, a balcony patio type thing. Well, I've got a fucking patio. What do you... I thought you meant you had like a balcony patio type thing. Well, I would have said balcony, wouldn't I?

Look, mate, I just fucking... I love you so much, but you're so naive. You're so naive to things. I love you with all my heart. When you go to a hotel, please, mate, in the future, and they say, do you want a ground floor room? Just say no. Because this is exactly the kind of thing that will happen.

No, you're right. You're right. It's a common problem, isn't it? Dogs and kids running into people's rooms. You're right. No, right. Not necessarily dogs and kids, but people coming into your room. Like, what you're doing is you're basically opening up the door there.

In some cultures, in some parts of this country, and you're on a ground floor and you open the door just to crack, that means come in. You're welcome. It's Saturday morning. I'm on my own you've just yeah listen i've not left i've not left an airplane toilet door unlocked all right okay it's not an open invitation for people to come around i'm trying to let some fresh air in because i had a curry last night and i was a bit farty okay that's what happened the poor fucking dog i mean god knows what did the little boy say so he said the dog the dog runs in right and it's in like i'm not talking about in the doorway i'm talking about in the room the kid comes in i can't remember what the dog's name is he keeps calling the dog's name and then

i stand up and so i'm in my underwear wow right and this is kid in the dog in my room and the kid just going i'm sorry i'm sorry i sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Why is he apologising? You're in your pants. Okay. I think he's apologising because... Yeah, it's your room. A 13-year-old boy has run into a 43-year-old

at a hotel room. I so wish I was there. And then he goes, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was sort of in shock because it happened so quickly. But at the same time, I didn't want the kid so sorry, I'm so sorry. And I was sort of in shock because it happened so quickly. But at the same time, I didn't want the kid to feel bad because it's totally not his fault.

It's a mad thing that's happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we're both victims of this, right? Your dog's got out of control and it's now put us in this situation. Right? So I just go to him, don't worry, mate. Don't worry, don't worry. And then he left.

I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. And I went, all good. And then obviously I shut the door because I thought you know that was a mistake the dog went with him yeah no I just said to him listen mate

I'm sorry but it's like when you knock a football over you know when you kick a football over into your neighbours garden that's their property then no no but you need to

I didn't know if the dog when you said he just ran can I tell you something you're the fourth person I've told this story to none of them had any issues with the information I delivered.

No, no, no. But when you said he ran off. None of them thought that the dog had leapt up to the 10th floor balcony. Right? And none of them thought that I kept the dog as punishment to the kid for allowing it to come into my house that way. But when you said, when you turned around and said, right, and the little boy sprinted off, right?

Yeah. Like, I thought you, like, you would have said about the dog. Like, you're standing there, like, basically naked, right? And you're like this. I can't imagine the bedlam that's in that room. The dog's running around

and all that going crazy. Probably going in, like, to your pancakes and stuff, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I said to the kids, listen, head off. I happen to have got

a little bit of peanut butter with my breakfast. I'm just going to see what happens here. No, go on. Sorry, what happened? I'm guessing that there's still another chapter to this. Let's some tail. There's no chapter, but it's just that I just don't want those pair.

I don't want that. I'm hoping to God that kid didn't recognise me. Because what I don't want those pair I don't want that I'm hoping to God that kid didn't recognise me because what I don't want him to say is I just went into Romesh Ranganathan's room he's in his underwear

watching a fucking documentary about serial killers well he probably didn't know it was about serial killers he just thought it was probably a horror movie

or something was that someone else coming in no it's just like people walking people walking down corridors why don't people

walking through hotel corridors keep their fucking voice down Why don't people walking through hotel corridors keep their fucking voice down? I don't understand it. Well, mate, I'm going to tell you something. I know the hotel you're staying in. I don't want to name it because I actually quite like going there, but it's known for having really thin walls.

Also, and this is genuinely true, and I've heard this from three different people, they actually shoot pornos there where you are. What are you talking about? It's known for being a place where they shoot blue movies. What, like pornography with humans, yeah? Well, not with, yeah, not with, yeah, yeah,

with humans. Well, no, it's just like, you know, it's just like you hadn't specified, so I thought you might mean like animals or bestiality videos or something. Right, right, right. Okay, okay, okay, I'll see what you've done there. Put the shoe on the other foot, lace it up and give me a volley in the mouth. That's cool. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER No, it's quite well known

it's quite well known for it there's that vibe to it the other night I went to the they've got like a buffet my favourite thing I don't think a buffet on your own is doable it's sad.

It's sad. Because you've got no one to get excited about stuff with. No, and also, do you know the other thing? So obviously, it's not cheap, right? So what you think is, it's typical, you know, as is always the case, and this comes from my upbringing, if you've got a buffet and it's all you can eat, you make sure you do your damnedest to get your money's worth.

Yeah, you wear tracksuit bottoms. You're not wearing jeans you go it yeah you want to leave that restaurant feeling uncomfortable like you might die that's that's what you've got to do yeah you want it you want a gut buster right exactly 100 right so i've been in there they've got like a pasta thing i've got a load of pasta and uh it was delicious And then they had some curry. So I thought, let me get some of that. But if you're with a mate and you go, mate, we've just done Italian, should we go and do Indian?

That's fun. That's like a fun... Yeah. What I did was just sat on my own, ate an Italian meal, put the plate to one side, then got up and went and got... Like, just on my own.

It just feels so much sadder. I mean, that's one of my favorite things to do with katherine is when a buffet is like especially a breakfast buffet oh my god that's one of my like especially in the place you're in it's worth going down just for some of the pancakes and like other bits they do down there and they do some really they'll probably do like a so vegan omelette but but I won't be able to do it. So when I was doing that, when we did Just Another Immigrant in the States, it's like the first day, like the second day of writing or putting the show together.

And the American exec that was on the show, he said to me, where do you want to go? We're in LA. He goes, where do you want to go for lunch? He goes, there's this cafe down the place and they do these vegan eggs. And he goes, I've tried them. And he goes, honestly, you can't tell the difference right are you joking no i'm joking so i go so he goes look trust me come down here so we go down that i order a mushroom omelette right off the chain you can't it's fucking mad right come back to the thing i'm not i can't

believe this product doesn't exist in the uk right because it's like game changing yeah right and i said to him what's it what's that what's it like so what it was called was egg beaters right egg beaters it's called the product right i get back to the thing i can't believe that that is like it's so mad how much it tastes like egg i look it up it's pre-beaten eggs so it is eggs so i just eaten a fucking omelet what the fuck did you just like how did you even respond to that with him well it's so awkward because like i didn't really like you know it's my second day working on the show i don't really know this guy that well and basically within yeah he literally destroyed all of your beliefs that's insane i was genuinely there thinking why the hell didn't you buy it by the distribution rights like 100 if that had been if that had been legit like a vegan egg product i

would have been all i can't i i'll go i'll go on record now and say i think that's the one thing that vegan like as a vegan i don't think you'll ever have the i don't think i'll ever be able to recreate the taste of eggs like well what what do you what do you mean by that because like you you can you can get vegan cakes and they substitute the stuff okay sorry sorry let me let me let me be clear right the egg for me is the most versatile thing that we have in our no what here we go this is no this is like it's here we go fucking this is typical this is absolute classic where tom heralds whatever we happen to be talking about

as the best thing ever. It doesn't matter what it is. No, this is exactly why the humble teaspoon is the most versatile of all the tools or whatever. You always do this. Sometimes I'd say that, right? But I could not say, and I could not speak earnestly about anything as much as I'm going to talk about the egg because

let me tell you fucking hell in response to my criticism you've gone bigger on it right okay god the egg right you go into any like breakfast cafe or whatever and they turn around and say how would you like your eggs cooked that is a real question that you've got to ponder that's not one you just go i've fried you know scrambled omelette poached right there's so many different ways that you could have it right i'm saying to you do you know what do you know what this tells me is you're the sort of prick that waits until you're asked to decide how you're going to have your eggs of course you're doing you're adding no no otherwise you're cheating otherwise you're cheating you're not it you're adding no you're an arsehole otherwise you're cheating otherwise you're cheating you're not cheating you're not cheating

Tom it's not a timed quiz let me just right this is because you're not used to ordering from a menu with loads of different

fucking alternatives you're used to literally getting somewhere and it's being like four different things and then you go oh shit oh thank god

they've got vegan stuff right and I salute you for that because I do think that's an incredible thing when you're it doesn't sound like you're saluting me it sounds like you're absolutely rinsing me and suggest i don't know what it's like to order from a menu as a result no right yeah but what you don't know is the different levels of like oh i'll have the fried breakfast please squire

right how would you like your eggs so there's a question how would you like your what kind of bread i understand i understand i understand what it's like to be asked a question about how I would like something. I do understand that, believe it or not. Right, so what I'm thinking, right? What I'm saying to you is, what I'm saying to you is, most people know how they're going to have their eggs before they're in that situation.

Mate, I would say to anyone out there, right, leave it to the last minute, because the worst thing you could... I have, and I hate saying this, I've been in places before where i've gone oh yo can i have a fried breakfast please with a fried egg right seconds later as the merry waiter goes about their business i sit there and go oh fuck like i didn't know i wanted scrambled eggs i think i want scrambled eggs now right but i jumped too soon when somebody but at that point

at that point you can just call the waiter back. Well, that's taking up more time. Yeah, but if that happens... What you've got to get in your head, right, is this. You're the waiter. You come over. Yeah, okay. Hello, mate.

Hello there. What can I get you? Let me just look at the menu. I'm going to give my internal monologue. This guy's a. What? Why? Oh, God. Right. Right, sorry, God, God, God.

Oh, hello. Sorry, I've not really had a chance to look at the menu properly. Oh, well, what made you call me over then? Is there something I can get you now? Oh, well, me and my friends who are actually visiting from Denmark are starving, and I've been telling them about your wonderful breakfasts. So I will go with the full English breakfast, please. Okay, great.

Full English breakfast. How would you like your eggs? eggs ah that's a good question that's a good question that you couldn't have possibly guessed i was going to ask before i arrived i think i'll have them scrambled now you said i've looked inside my internal brain and i think that i'm in scrambled a scramble kind of mood thank you so actually i'll order scrambled eggs for me and also my companions please three in today's economy saving money is like an extreme sport coupon clipping promo code searching it takes skill speed sweat unless we're talking kudos new phone internet and streaming bundle with the happy

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Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11am. Big breakfast with three scrambled eggs. So let me just get this absolutely crystal clear. You're happy to both take your time about making your own decision and then also ordering for everybody else to take that away from them. No, no, but I'm in there and I know how good...

Like, the other day I went for food for my parents. I ordered, like, their courses for them because I knew what was amazing in there. I was literally like... Yeah, but Tom, Tom, you don't decide that in the moment. You don't... So you know before you get there what was amazing in there i was literally like yeah but yeah but tom tom you don't decide that in the moment you don't like so you know before you get there they what's amazing this is what i didn't order for them this is what i said i said you need to have the cheese souffle or you will seriously regret that again not true like this is the thing right no no because if i

get something the point i'm trying to make is if they get if they get something else and enjoy it and have a nice they're not going to go fucking hell i'm gonna have to chalk that up as an opportunity i'll go like this i'll go with the juicy flakes i'm having it have a little taste of that now a little bob on their tongue and they'll go oh this is delicious and i'll go yep sorry sorry we're not sorry or if you really want one order one you're acting like you get one shot at ordering stuff I don't understand what you're

no you're allowed to order you're allowed to order you're allowed to order whatever you want yeah you order what you want but then if they taste my souffle

and go oh yeah sure I might get one of those as well then I've got to wait another 20 minutes for my main course to come out and the chef's going

what's going on sorry someone's got two stars for Christ's sake. Yeah, but then you're the prick for giving them, because you're being Billy Big Bollocks and trying to show

how good your meal is. Now you've got yourself in a fucking situation, haven't you? No, that's not. All of this is your fault. Right, two things. Don't talk about the cheese souffle. If I go to a restaurant with you,

I'm going to tell you, I will give you my oath, right? If we go to a restaurant and you turn around to me and you say, oh, I don't know uh oh i've done it with you before the jackfruit burger is incredible the chips are amazing right and then there was those little chili things that we got right you were raving about them

i went exactly for what you ordered i copied it to the tea and by god i wasn't disappointed right because you knew it you've been there. You'd sampled all the rides and the wares. Yeah, but you could have ordered something else and still had a nice meal. It would have been... Yeah, but why? We'd be experts there. I'm not going to literally...

Well, okay, I'm going looking for lost treasure and there's a pirate standing there. He said, oh, I know where the lost treasure is. I saw it last week. Right? There's another bloke going, I don't even believe in treasure. Who do you think I'm following?

Who's asking directions to the treasure from a pirate? Because pirates are the people who always have the treasure. Well, a notoriously trustworthy. Yeah, yeah. They often like to tell strangers where their treasure is. No, no. I'm like basically, I don't know. What are you in this scenario?

Tell me. I guess i'm just like a guy who's just helping out with stuff and i what do you mean helping out he's a pirate i've walked over and i'm like oh no i fancy life on the high seas i might actually fancy being a pirate myself uh you have to prove to me you've got a treasure so you have to prove to me you've got a treasure yeah otherwise it seems like a vacation i don't know if i'm going to invest my set of time in yeah sure okay all right all right all right what's happened here is we've made a mistake going down this this path but listen all of these arguments that you've made still do not actually make the point that you that we're trying we're arguing about in the first

place which is when you came with me and i had we had the jackfruit burger and the fries and little chilies and all that did you see the way to come over and go, what would you like? And, oh, well, that is an interesting conundrum. Let me ponder upon what the different options might have to offer. I just ordered that and you copied me, right? Yeah, but also, I remember

I think he turned around and said, do you want any gherkins with that, any pickles? And you went, yeah, I'll work, sure. Yeah, that's a great way of making something up to just sort of help prove your point. Why? How did you feel you're going to get away with that? You're talking to the person that's actually fucking there. What this tells me is we seriously need to go out for food together somewhere,

where there's different options, and see how we handle it. I'll tell you when we can go for food together. Yeah, hit me up. After the Wolf and I live shows, am I right? Food in Hackney sounds good to me, baby. Hackney Empire. Tickets go on sale in two days. Yeah, two days.

Well, not literally in two days. No, no, no. Is it on the second they go? Pre-sale on the second. It's Friday the 3rd. I'll make that. Pre-sale on the second if you sign up to the mailing list. Yeah, so that'll be today. That'll be today.

RomeshWanganathan.co.uk slash Wolf and Al. Get yourself along. It will be absolute bedlam. There'll be high fives and probably some sort of sing-along, I imagine. Tom, we've got to choose for bald people, by the way. Oh, yeah. So, do you know what? Actually, here's what we could do, right?

What about this? Oh, yeah. So, do you know what? Actually, here's what we could do, right? What about this? If we get our top ten contenders, right, and we put their faces up on the big screen at Hackney Empire... No, no, no, no. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Why? What, and then putting them up like some sort of, like, bulldog auction? No, but then people vote for who their favourite one is. No, I'm not. Or they do little videos and it's like, hi, I'm Stephen. I'm from Colchester.

I've been bald for four years. So these guys that you, because basically last week or whenever you first announced this thing about Newman, you were saying like, the bald man is one of the most desperate and sad

and tragic examples of human life you can possibly imagine. I mean, so with all of that sympathy and empathising you did and based on the whole fact that the reason you set this up is to give them a bit of dignity, what you're now going to do is give them another layer of rejection

as they get paraded in front of an audience at the Hackney Empire. And then we just knock them out. Fuck it, we're not choosing this geezer, are we? Are we, guys? Okay, this is what we could do. Right, we choose the four. There's going to be some broken arts out there, but we'll choose them, right?

And then we can announce the four at Hackney Empire. Okay, fine. Yeah, we'll do it like the Hunger Games kind of vibe. All right. We're probably not going to do this, but I feel like I can commit to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm actually genuinely, this is pretty incredible

to think that we are at the forefront of science now. How do you work that on it? Well, no, like this could, this could, if it works, not only will I have to clean your feet for a month,

but also I will have to eat my words as well. Right. I'll have to turn around and say, wow, I was wrong. And there's hope out there. How does that put you at the forefront of science? Because people will know then, won't they, if it works or not.

At the moment, it's just a lottery, mate. And that is what a lot of medical stuff is. Well, I imagine Newman will say that maybe some of the science credit should go to them. Oh, look, look, look. For developing the product. But no, you're right. I actually should say this.

I should say this as well. Look, I should say this because... Have they been in touch with you since no no no no i'll reach out and i'll speak to them right but i will say this it's like you could be in trouble for this couldn't you i mean you have libeled them no but they have sat at the table of you know if this gamble is massive it's a you know it's me and you going head to head with them essentially it's like who's going to pull 21 i don't know listen i've got no i don't know if this stuff works i've got this is not my battle well yeah i merely have like you're sort of you know you're in in it with me you're my partner right my partner in crime you don't run off and sprint through the street

saying i'm not running off what i'm saying is like what i think is if i'll be honest with you i think your ass has gone a little bit. Because you were very, very definitive about what you thought about. I'm still definitive, but what I will say is a bit like, probably in Rocky, when Mr T called out Rocky, when he was shouting his mouth off, when Rocky wasn't getting involved in the

fight, he was sort of like, running around, giving it. And then all of a sudden, Rocky wanted a piece of it, and then he was like, oh shit, yeah, Clubber Lang had to then he was like oh shit yeah Clubber Lang had the standards yeah at some point Clubber Lang

and you know Newman and Rocky yeah okay well let's see what happens guys yeah and you're probably like Mickey the coach

but you know work it like as if he worked for the other side okay alright so what have you been up to man just

working brother working doing just nearly wrapped on the film that I'm doing are you been up to man? Working brother, working, doing, just nearly wrapped on the film that I'm doing. Are you not allowed to, have we talked about what the film is? I'm just a wonker,

so I'm doing that, so I can get rid of this moustache, which is, yeah, weirdly Catherine, the moustache just isn't really working for Catherine, and also my daughter sort of, I think my daughter's starting to look at me like,

oh my God, she recognises me more now like she's laughing a lot at my face which is a good thing but I'm not too sure if when the moustache goes it'll be

also we had a nice one today because we went and met the other couples from the NCT group like a reunion type thing which was kind of cool

oh that's nice you know what actually what I've been doing is a lot of wholesome living what do you mean just just being quite wholesome quite a lot of family time quite a lot of chill time oh i had a gig on monday sent you the recording of it oh you did didn't you yeah yeah yeah so you did a little tom's back on the uh back on the horse which was a lot of fun enjoyed that being in a live arena um yeah man you know what i i sit very

tired but maybe yeah maybe it's like you know i feel a little bit like i've been in a hovis advert a live arena. Yeah, man. You know what? I sit very tired, but maybe, yeah, maybe it's like, I feel a little bit like I've been in a Hovis advert. And like, yeah,

I've just, No, nothing going on. What? No, I'm sitting by the fire with a big cheese sandwich and, you know, my socks,

like socks up to my knees and a little pair of wooden shorts and, yeah. Yeah. like socks up to my knees, a little pair of wooden shorts. And yeah,

yeah. Sprinted up the hill. Um, yeah. Or like, I'm the, yeah, the kid in the weather's original advert.

Yeah. Just sitting on sort of a family friend's knee as he just sticks it. Yeah. It gives me a weather's original. It's just like life. I thought it was his granddad. It's not just a family friend. He's nice.

No, no, no. I think it's his granddad.'s not just a family friend he's new no no no I think it's his grandad I can't remember yeah man I feel good I feel like I've milked the udder of life

and now the nourishment let me rain it free upon Alistair's okay I went to I went to watch

Arsenal the other night yeah sure another party it wasn't a party he had a couple of drinks after I was I went to watch Arsenal the other night. Yeah, sure. Another party. It wasn't a party. He had a couple of drinks after this. I was saying to you on the phone, it's so weird how excited you get about something that has no direct effect on your life, isn't it?

Yeah, but it's a weird thing, isn't it? Because for a long time, if West Ham just won, or even sometimes got a draw I felt so elated that I'd always just go out after them

but Arsenal for a long long time you're used to those leagues you're used to like winning big things so winning

yeah but it's got no it doesn't make your life any better does it no but anyway what happened what happened was

when I was at the game I was coming out of the game and this bloke shouted at me romesh you're not funny oh god okay which is fine which is fine but the reason i mention that it's not really it's a fucking arse i act to do i'm sorry well this no but this is what i'm going to ask you this is what i'm going to ask you okay because then i went because normally i would have

just gone i would have gone a bit not nervous nervous is the wrong word i would have been like I would have been like, oh, God, I'm getting abused, right, and just walked off. But on this occasion, because I was sort of in a good mood, because Arsenal just won, I said, hey, mate, how about you go fuck yourself, right? And then, but do you know what happened then? He started laughing, and he went, good one, like that. So then I thought, this guy, if I hadn't have said that to him, and he hadn't have started laughing, right, I would have thought this guy if i hadn't said that to him and he hadn't started laughing right i would have thought this guy's like giving me shit but actually he thought he was like he thought that was him like offering up a joke do you know what i mean like

he thought he was being he was bantering in like a friend do you know what i mean in a friendly way he thought that's what i think you know what yeah, no, but also you've got to think this, right? Yeah, go on. If he is doing that and you hadn't responded with the way you had, it's kind of going to ruin his day because he's going to go, he's just going to think you're a prick for just ignoring him and scuttling off, right? And for you, it's going to ruin your day because someone said that,

saying horrible to you, and then you just feel like shit. So in that situation, that's a perfect cocktail of you responding in the way you have and that working out. Because also you could say that to someone and that person then takes offence and gets upset. Yeah. Because they're not barren. So it's like whilst I think it's quite a nice story,

that has happened to me. I don't know. I find it really – I don't know. I find that sort of banter is difficult. It's fine if you know someone or it's fine it happens all the time on Instagram like I'm dyslexic I'll put something up and spell something wrong and I'll get

so much shit and people sort of just because of the probably because of this podcast and other things and I'm fine with that but you're like it's sometimes if it's just a bit of a joke it's fine but when it's banter that sort of goes the wrong way then you're just like and that's the worst it's sometimes if it's just a bit of a joke it's fine but when it's banter that sort of goes the wrong way then you're just like and that that's the worst that's that's the harshest thing that you can have it's like because if you're in a scenario like i say say you're in

a pub right that happens that guy says that you say it back to him and you're like hey how you or whatever sort of thing yeah and then his mates are all like they goad him and then he gets more aggressive then you're in a he started, but then it can escalate, you know? You've just got to be. Yeah, that did, that did happen to,

that has happened to me as well. And I think it's unfair. I was walking past the kebab shop, I think, after the pubs closed. And this bloke said, oh mate, well Romesh,

my mate says you're not funny. And I said, and then I just went, well, I don't think you and your mate are very funny either. And then he goes, what the fuck have you been like that for? And then got aggy.

So it can go the other way. It's a bizarre situation, isn't it? Yeah, I think those interactions I find really difficult because later on that night when we were having a couple of drinks, these two girls came over and one of them said, oh, my mum's a massive fan. Can I get a photo with you and i i just find i was sat with like a few mates i find i'm still in this situation i find it a bit

i get a bit embarrassed i mean yeah and so i was like so i was like of course you can and i did the photo but i was a bit sheepish and then as they walked off i thought to myself they probably think i was being rude there i didn't mean it like that do you mean you know what I mean? You know when you're sitting with some mates having a drink and then somebody comes over and goes, can I have a photo? I still find it a little bit embarrassing. I don't know if it's embarrassing. Yeah, I guess it is embarrassing. Not that I don't want it to happen, but I just get a bit shy and I feel a bit awkward in those situations. Yeah, we had it, but yeah, we,

we had it for the first, like we were at, we took grace out for brunch the other day and there was a guy who was just like so overly familiar, not in a nasty way, but it was so like, he just sort of made out like, you know, there's nothing I can do about,

you know, my size or like if I walk into, even before I did this for a living, if I walked in anywhere, people's head would turn because I'm essentially a giant right so that's just the lot you're given but like he sort of had this whole his his kind of shtick was a bit like oh the big man's here hey big man look at you rolling about and all that and i literally like had my daughter and i compete like a little uh carrier thing and i was trying to sort of get through quite a busy calf

and like he was like hey hey giving it a large or do you just want to stop and say hello? And you're like, hey man how you doing? You alright? And he's like, oh I've got time for a big review now and all that and you're like what? This is insane. You're with your kid and Catherine finds it so embarrassing. I find that's the worst one for me.

I always felt quite uncomfortable anyway as a sort of bigger person. I used to get started on quite a lot. The the worst one do you remember have you ever heard of anything called live nation like a sort of dance um festival yeah i went years ago i forgot my mate so i remember walking past these four lads from birmingham just sort of like i could see them screwing at me i thought i know they're just gonna they they they're giving up so just all four of them walked up up and sort of started like shouldering out,

knocking us about. And I'm like, you know, trying to make a joke. And then one of them just sort of took his top off and just started really just pushing me

with his top off. And it was just really like, you know, what the fuck are you doing kind of thing? Even his mates, you could see it just

went a little too far. It just was like, yeah. Something about, something about blokes when they're out as a group, man. It's bad. Yeah, but festivals...

Not all blokes! Not all blokes! Yeah, but those festivals where they... You know, it's that thing where they can't handle just... Like, a dance festival's kind of usually just... There's quite a chilled atmosphere. And it's almost like people get freaked out

by the fact that people are having a good time. So they get into almost quite an aggressive frame of mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right, do you want to do some emails? Yeah an aggressive frame of mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a head start. Right, do you want to do some emails? Yeah, I got deep there from talking about eggs, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Apologies for that. That's all right, my darling. It's all right, yeah. For just £4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh-sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham.

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so you can change the music. Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Okay, first email is from the Golden Retriever. Wow, that's us.

The Golden Retriever. This is wow. The Golden Retriever. This is a relationship one. Okay. I'm listening. Dear Wolf, Al, Swan and Cat, Golden Retriever reporting in. I was hoping you could be of some help when my head should be out

with all of this stuff I'm going through. So basically, I'm going to read, this is quite a long email, so I'm going to go quite quick, all right? Okay. So basically, a girl I've known and been quite close friends with for two years and have had a mutual care for each other the whole whole time got into a relationship about a year and a

half after a year and a half being friends we grew to love each other as always there in each other's lives and got to the point where i truly saw that girl as my world the memories the way we laughed and all the things made me love her more than anything i always showed it by surprising her by visiting her with favorite snacks or surprising with a teddy and this girl loved me as well she made a portrait of us for christmas and made me feel loved by more than anyone else ever had a few weeks ago she split up with me she said she felt these things weren't the same anymore and i can only assume she lost these feelings over time that hurts but that's life i was going to accept that but recently i found out that very quickly after splitting up with me she went on to tinder and started talking

to other boys and the worst of it all i found out from a mutual friend she started talking to a boy who she used to talk to back when me and her had feelings for each other and this boy caused an extreme amount of anxiety and stress to me as I loved this girl before I went with her. And then me and this girl got together, we also talked about how she knew she made the right decision, but now I found out only a week after or so we split up, she's talking to this boy again already and it makes me feel like everything I had with this girl, two years of making moments and memories of just been shit on and thrown away by so quickly falling back to a boy she knew. It's caused me a big amount of stress and the worry of losing her and I just don't know how to feel about this. I feel as if I've been backstabbed by someone I thought loved me

and truly cared about me. Sorry for such a long email, but I'm quite lost in how to feel about this. P.S. We're both 19. Love your podcast. Thank you very much. Sweet, sweet souls. Much love, The Golden Retriever.

Man, The Golden Retriever. Man, The Golden Retriever. If I was 19, writing an email to two idiots I didn't know who ran a podcast and hoped for a little bit of glimmerous light, that's probably sort of the email I'd have written in. Because, yeah, man, that just feels like pretty much every relationship I had till I was about 26. Oh, my God. I know, I know, I know to love was about 26 oh my god I know I know look the truth of the

matter is I haven't said that for a while but the truth of the matter is this is that whilst all of that stuff feels really harsh right now it's all growth it's all like you learning you know how to interact how to have a relationship and right now it probably feels

that all of it meant nothing and that she sort of she doesn't she doesn't care about what you've done or that you know or any of the things that you did that's not true there'll come a time when she was like um looks back retrospectively and she'll be like oh shit that that was that's probably at the time what she needed or whatever right and you can get hung up on the fact that this guy that you've sort of got this animosity towards and cause you problems that he you know he's coming to her you know whatever that they're basically that they've they've now got this relationship and they're they're moving forward right you can start having all of these different thoughts you can start thinking all many different things that completely out of your

control and that's that's the problem we have as human beings. And we all have it. We all do it, is we're constantly trying to navigate through life because it's a solo mission, essentially. You can only control what you can control as you. What you can't do is you can't turn around and have any sort of way of controlling her feelings or controlling how he acts or how anyone acts, right? they're going to do what they're going to do you can just do the best

version of yourself in in getting through this and working out coping mechanisms and growing from this learning from it learning from any you know i think we we all get hung up on man i remember going out with a girl for for ages and like knowing that she was cheating on me, you know, and trying to fix it in so many different ways and trying to sort of, like, be this amazing sort of boyfriend and sort of, like, constantly sort of being, you know, a doormat, really. And, like, I don't ever regret that sort of time, as hard as it was and sort of as long as it seemed to go on for,

because I did a lot of growing afterwards and I sort of worked on myself and i think that's the thing you've got to do from now um because it's going to suck and it's going to really hurt it's going to be hard because you've had such an incredible relationship and it does sound like you know you had a really really sweet thing but that will come again because you're a sweet decent fellow and and you know the next person that comes into your life and that could be, as you put out your earphones after listening to this podcast, or it could be in three to ten years or whatever, that moment will come along for you

and you've just got to keep your heart and your mind open. Because there's a long time in my life I didn't think I'd ever find anyone like Catherine and when she came into my life, you're like, wow, that's what you've been waiting for and all the things, the heartache and all the kicks in her teeth, it was all worth it because I'd done all the growing I needed to do to be the person she needed. So there we go,

my brother. Do you really, really, really wonderful advice. Uh, well done Tomo. Um, listen,

uh, golden retriever. Uh, what I would say to you man is the particular bit that I would latch onto from what Tom said is one that your moment will come but two if you try

and allow your happiness to be determined by how other people behave you're on to hiding to nothing and this girl she's behaving in a way that you find upsetting this guy's behaving in a way that you find upsetting. This guy's behaving in a way that you find upsetting. You're totally within your rights to let them know that you find that upsetting,

but you can't change how they're behaving. If they choose to continue behaving like that, you need to find a way for that not to upset you as difficult as that might be. The truth is you are 19. You've got time, man. And you'll learn from this you get stronger from this it feels difficult i can imagine it feels really really difficult but you've got to try

and use it to make yourself stronger do you mean and it's uh i've been through horrible breakups in the past and you know one in particular sort of desperate for them to get back with me and when you're in that kind of when you're in that kind of, when you're under that kind of pressure or you feel like that, it's very easy to make a fool of yourself or to compromise yourself in order to try and get this person back because you feel desperate in the situation. Just try not to allow that to happen to yourself, man. You are going to find somebody and they're going to be great.

So, look, this will mean nothing to you at the moment but in time as tom said uh hopefully uh you'll realize what we're saying is right so good luck with it golden retriever best of luck to you okay this is another sort of this is another kind of relationship one but but but not a relationship one it's sort of in the same area anyway uh this is from uh well he's given the name but i'm not going to give the name okay uh dear mentors a bit of a weird one but interested to hear opinions there's a girl at my gym that i see most days i want to ask for a number or ask her out but i'm aware that approaching someone on their own in a gym setting might be deemed a little creepy I'm holding off doing it because I'm not wanting to create an uncomfortable situation am I deep in it too much

or is there a right way of going about it we've exchanged a smile here and there but that is all in nearly a year any pearls welcome Tom my gee my god we don't know your name and you haven't even given yourself an animal so it's pretty hard to converse with you in that way. But let me tell you this. Don't ever, ever, ever just walk up and ask a girl out of nowhere with never having any kind of conversation with her. And don't just walk over and give your number in some kind of like fucking hope that this is American pie and things will turn out just about fine. Have a conversation with her. Get to know her.

Speak to her. You both go to the gym, so straight away you've got a way of being a decent young man. Start a conversation in the most decent way possible without her feeling that she's been sort of pushing to some weird fucking masculine corner you know show the best sides of you as a person to sort of actually sort of build some sort of relationship it'll never ever i don't i've never in my life heard of a situation where someone's walked up to someone cold and just said hey do you want to go out or um hey here's my number and the person has just gone, yeah, yeah, cool, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow, I never thought that was going to happen to me. You have to start, I think, some sort of conversation and make it as open and make it as less creepy as you can. Because if you're attracted to someone... Go on, hit me. I mean, is there a world... Because I don't know the answer to this. As I was reading it, I thought this is quite tricky. Is there a world in which it's not even all right to do that?

I mean, like... I'm just asking a question. I don't know. Go in the style of conversation with someone. It's a tricky one, isn't it? This is a trouble thing, right? Because in the modern world that we live in, right, you're talking about a world where um i think i still can't even the statistics i've been making it up and this is i can't be doing that at the moment but so many couples and people are meeting now because of the pandemic and because of tinder and social

meetings so many people are meeting in a in a less organic way you're talking generations of people that met and i know it wasn't people just going oh he's my that's the way i met katherine it wasn't me just going up and going oh he's my number or um you know can i take you out we had a joke we were sitting in the same restaurant we ended up having a joke together like through conversation your eyes meet you start you know i think if there's an attraction there and you know you smile literally if someone smiles at you and there's a moment and all you have to do is just that are you having a good day don't have a joke have something where you actually sort of talk to someone in a nice organic way isn't threat and it's not threatening and you're not

going up and saying oh here's my number or do you want to go out for a drink because that that for a start is the worst possible way that you can start this that scenario because if you've never spoken to someone and you go out for a drink together, I can't even imagine how awkward that would fucking be. What is that? What is that like? You know, or, oh,

here's my number. And then she's what? Then she's going to go, oh yeah, cool. Yeah. I'll just text or call you. Yeah.

I'll, I'll work around you. Yeah. You can leave your number. Now I've got, I've got, you know, I've got to do the fucking leg work

or oh can i have your number and then all of these things like you don't even know what she's like as a person so what i'm saying is it's like in the less least creepy way you possibly can if you know and i think it's amicable that you're trying to go about something in in what seems now quite a dated way but just have a joke and just sort of there's a moment where you can start a conversation that feel and it's organic and it's real and it doesn't feel like it's at all you you putting on a whole big scene just be yourself and be relaxed and try and try and break the ice a bit but i think that's yeah yeah that would be my advice anyway man yeah i think you're right i think you're right i mean listen i'd love to hear from people if they

if they've got a take on this because like i i think you're right tom it's like it's like you know you might strike a strike up a conversation with her but the thing that you've got to do is this is part of the thing i think that's part of the problem with rom-coms some rom-coms is that they encourage persistence do you mean if somebody says no you go back and try again or you're trying a different way to approach them and all that shit right i think what you've got to do is you've got to be super open to the signals that you might get in that situation do you know i mean if you if you got because the thing is it's possible it's possible that girl's smiling at you and thinking oh it'd be nice to have a chat with that guy but it's also possible that that girl just thinks oh he smiled at me i'm just going to

smile back because otherwise it would be a bit awkward but i really just want to get on with my workout that those both those things are equally as likely right so it's that thing of like going you will know straight away and and as soon as that person gives you an indication they don't want to chat that is the end of your interactions with that person i really think that do you mean it's like people are trying to get on with their day. Do you know what I mean? And it's just, listen, I'm not trying to go against this geezer at all

because obviously we don't, but like, you know, if this was a girl, this happens to a lot. Like, I imagine that gets a bit, that could get a bit fucking tiresome,

can't it? Do you know what I mean? Also, it's that weird thing, isn't it? Because she could be somewhere right into another podcast going,

oh, I quite like this guy. And you don't know. But what my point is, is that, like, you don't even know if you click. That's what I'm saying. It's sort of like the idea that you could just look at someone and go, all right, yeah, obviously it's a massive part of any of our lives, a massive part of any of our relationships.

And, you know, to fancy someone, to look at someone and go, I find that person attractive. But bigger than that is how much you vibe and how much you get on with someone. If your go-to thing is like, right, well, I'm going to go at someone and go i find that person attractive but bigger than that is how much you vibe and how much you get on with someone if your go-to thing is like right well i'm gonna go meet someone in it but that's why i think so many people it's the awkwardness and sometimes people don't vibe because i think people put on a whole fucking persona when they when they go to meet someone or someone they're not actually yeah that's a male and female thing and that does something that works across i think both yeah both scenarios but what i think if you if you're both in the same place you've had some kind of interaction to actually have a joke and to sort of have a bit of a you know even even progress slowly don't

fucking chase it and just move from a smile to saying hello and how are you and do you mean or whatever like something small rather than yeah i'm not saying you've got to go up and fucking do like recite fucking poetry i'm saying that make these little small movements towards chatting to someone that you think you might vibe with and if it's not vibing and she doesn't seem interested leave it man just go to another gym um yeah it's it's uh well listen good luck with it man um and also let me just say by by the way, also, just to, not to go back on everything I've just said, but the gym,

by the way, is a very like private place that I think too many people interact anyway. Like, so, I don't, I don't, I don't really like, I mean,

I don't really like being approached even by people I know at the gym. No, no, no, no, no, no. But if he's smiling,

if there's been an exchange of smile, a hello. has been an exchange then yeah yeah but look man just yeah don't over don't overplay it and just be yourself and good luck yeah good luck good luck okay should we do one more let's hit it up baby okay uh this is from the I.I. The what? The I.I. Oh, man. A-Y-E dash A-Y-E. I've never even heard of that. It says,

Dear Wolf, Owl, Swan and Cat, First of all, I'd like to say me and my close group of friends are all huge fans. I was a relative latecomer, but I've just caught up with the backlog of all the past episodes. Your sweet, sweet voices put a big, goofy smile on my face. Thank you very much. All that said, I've got a tricky situation for you that I hope you can sprinkle some wise advice spice on. Nice.

A few of our friends in the wider group have one by one began quitting their jobs to join for what is all accounts and purposes a crypto pyramid scam. Without going into detail, the company has a shady history and it's sad to see our friends buy into what is obviously a very unethical business and getting more and more of our mates involved on one hand it's very understandable why they've done this they've gone from lower salaries to raking in amounts i could only dream of but on the other hand it's quite obviously dodgy and potentially dangerous it's hard to talk to them directly

about it as it's become quite cult-like and they won't hear a bad word about it have either of you had to talk to a mate about not getting about not getting involved in or getting out of something dodgy and if so how did you approach it and did it work? Thank you both so much and keep doing you. The aye-aye. Yeah, I sort of remember when I was younger, loads of people I knew when I worked for a double glazing firm that had a sort of similar thing of going and door-stepping people

and selling double glazing. And a mate of mine uh he did really really well out of it he was incredible but he was like super confident very sort of handsome very sort of suave you know uh and he sold a shit ton of double glazing and then he got a lot of similar to this situation got a lot of my friends to quit their jobs and go and try and sell and half of them that they it's a thing that you have to have so much confidence to do right to knock on someone's door and sell something you have to be so fucking you know and a lot of them didn't have it so a lot of them ended up just fucking you know you all everything you do is

on commission a lot of them ended up just you know having to basically go back and try and get a job somewhere else my thing with something like this though is that when it comes to sort of people making a lot of money and something in this sort of scenario i think it's really really really difficult to ever try and you know even in later life and and you know in dealing with people with you know alcoholism and drugs and at the moment i've got a situation where a friend of mine's you know uh passed away actually a few weeks ago and as much as you really want to help people sometimes i think that the truth of the matter is it's very hard to to do unless they want to be helped and you know in in the scenario i'm talking about it was you you do your level best and you're

constantly trying as hard as you might to to make sure someone sort of takes another route in life but actually it's very very hard to do if they're if they're not willing to do it themselves and you've kind of got to you kind of got to let them make this sort of mistake and and hope in the end that they actually sort of come back from it a little bit and and that at some point that it's going to end up all right because i think especially with stuff like this as well, because essentially when you talk about money and greed, it sort of goes hand in hand with any kind of drug or drink

because it's addictive. And I think that you kind of just got to hopefully ride it out and then deal with what's ever after. And if it comes good and they come back to you, then never say I told you so and if it comes good and they come back to you then never say I told you so and just yeah

be a good listener but the truth of the matter is it's hard to yeah it's hard to tell people that something like that is bad for them

it's a difficult one I've had I've not had it to the extent that you've had it with that double glazing field but I've had mates that like that wanted to go into something

and you know it's kind of dodgy and well not dodgy but you sort of think it's a bad decision but the only thing you can do is sort of it's a difficult one because you sort of tell them and then they go yeah well i disagree and then you sort of think well i still feel how i feel but at the end of the day your your mate's going to do what they're going to do you know and so i think if you've if you've been clear about what you think about it and they're still wanting to do it then what can you do it's their life i mean i think i think there's a lot about i mean there's a lot of parallels about if you've got friends that struggle with mental health you've got friends that struggling with addiction or whatever it's good to let them know that you're there for them and check in on them and sort of keep monitoring them and keep in touch with them and stuff and and be the best support you can possibly be if you've done what you think

you can to advise your friends and they've decided to ignore you then you know it is what it is man you know like you you just got to let them get on with it and just be there to either pick up the pieces or to sort of if it starts getting a bit dodgy to go to them do you want a second you have a second do you want to have another think about this or whatever? It's not a black and white answer, really. I think the best way to be a good friend is to let them know you're there for them. Make your feelings clear and then take it from there. But although I've talked about the parallels,

it's not exactly the same as if somebody's drinking too much or somebody's doing drugs or whatever, you would get to what you think where i think we need to intervene in this we need to save this person this isn't the same as that you know like there are debates here they might think they're doing the right thing you disagree you know it's a slightly gray area i think you have to let them get on with it and be good friends to them and see what happens so um it's a tricky one man but um but good luck with it good luck good luck now listen uh tom i'm going to get you to do the the the closing ting ting i just want to say one more time just in case i didn't properly express myself thank you to uh let me see if i can name them uh to both uh brendan and emily

for for picking me up and picking us up on the advice we gave to uh do you feel like you've grown as a it's made you yeah it's good it's there's no i think i i think i've been called out i think i've been called out on something think I've been called out on something. And sometimes your reaction is to go, now fuck that, man. Like, that's not what I meant. But actually, when I read it, I thought, you're right. You're right.

Well, that's a well-known shirt I chose. So I apologise to you guys, but thank you for e-mailing. Also, has the merch been sent out? I'm getting a lot of emails from people about the merch. Is it being sent out? Has it been sent out, or is I'm getting a lot of emails from people about the merch. Is it being sent out? Has it been sent out, or is it...? Well, it's being sorted out. Obviously, my wife is dealing with the situation that she's on her own with three kids

because I'm holed up in a hotel because of COVID. You could have taken it with you to the hotel and then sent it through the hotel. Yeah, I suppose I could have done, yeah. But it'll be out. It'll be all in the post in the next week, in the next couple of days. Yeah, we'll get on it as soon as possible.

In fact, it might be out by the time this email comes out by this time this email sweet sweet times i'm just getting a lot of quite aggressive emails and if you are asking for um the merchandise um you can rest assured that me and romesh haven't built everything up um on the hope that we will be able to get some money for some merchandise and we're both going to leave the country there's quite a lot of people who are being very aggressive with their emails and their DMs. Yeah, man. And I'm like, look, I get it. This is

the situation we're in. We're trying to do this. And look, we're looking in the future at having someone else to handle all this. But nothing ever gets solved by a really aggressive email. Can't we just refund them though yeah if you've got a problem we're happy to refund but seriously if you want a refund just ask for a refund an

email at two in the morning with like where's my fucking stuff is like maybe it's just banter i don't know but um shout it out get it down yeah if you could keep your if you could keep your where's my fucking stuff uh uh, emails to office hours, that'd be great. But in all honesty, I do get it. It's been like insanely long from, for some of these people.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, but this is people who have just made the new, the new merch. Um,

yeah. Yeah. Like a week. So allow it as we say, well, if those people, if you want, also those people,

if that, look, if you want a refund ask for a refund we'll refund you yeah alright Tom because we don't want

to upset anybody I want to be crystal clear no no no I don't want anyone upset but also and you want a refund you can get a refund email in and say

look I've waited long enough I'm really really sorry I'm happy to do it what I'm saying is don't email aggressive shit because it's like ain't about that life, baby. Anyhow, anyhow, yo, how do you accomplish your biggest goals?

How do you get to the finish line? There was once two friends, Keith and Michaela. Keith and Michaela had many dreams and many aspirations. One of the biggest ones they had was to go to the moon and see space together. When it was finally like space travel was opened up to the masses, Keith and Michaela were the first two people on the spaceship to go to the moon.

And it took off. It was an amazing takeoff everyone cheered and everyone was excited um and Michaela and Keith got to the moon and like the tour guide was like okay everyone we've got two hours up here it's obviously quite you know we haven't we can't do much longer that's all the oxygen we've got so just go and have a little look around and enjoy yourself and uh keith and michaela sprinted out and started running around the moon they were really really excited to be there anyway the alarm on one of their intergalactic spacesuits suddenly beats and they're like what is going on and it's like a little message came through on like a sort of watch type thing saying you must be back at the spaceship um keith and michaela it's up and the spaceship was miles of many like miles and miles of moon miles away

right and michaela was like oh my god it's miles away keith just falls to his knees and he's like oh my christ oh my no like we'll never get back to the spaceship. It's too far away. It's too far away. We'll never make it that distance. We'll never make it, Michaela. And Michaela steadied herself. And she looked at the ship, and she looked at her best friend in the whole world and thought about all the times that they've made cardboard books,

spaceships, and all the times they'd sprint around places, like old sort of like churchyards and stuff and pretended it was the moon and they were on the moon now and michael looked at keith and said keith can you make one footstep forward and keith said yeah i can and she said well brother keep on doing that and before you know it we'll be back on the spaceship having tea and that's the thing about life. Sometimes you can look at the goal and think, sure, shucks, that's really really close. And, you know, it doesn't seem like a big goal at all. But sometimes the goal seems a million miles away

and it feels like you'll never actually achieve it. All you've got to do then is just take one step at a time and you will be amazing like Keith and Michaela were. They did make it back to the spaceship, by the way, just in case anyone was there. Yeah, okay. Because they took one step at a time. yeah um that was beautiful tom thank you so much yeah um thank you guys thank you for listening to the wolf and owl podcast once again uh what do you

think just before we go i know i don't want to extend this this end too much but there's a big contrast between how light-hearted the first half was, and then when we got to the emails, it was a big gear change. We gear changed ourselves, because it got kind of like... Are we like the one show of podcasts? You're like Alex Jones, and I'm like Jermaine Jenner.

I've also... No, no, no, I'm just looking at the time and i've realized that i've been up for like 14 hours oh my god right okay yeah i'm just that's my i actually think i've got sleep that probation pretty badly at the moment how do you even get sleep back it's just never coming back now is it i've just you don't this is your life now congratulations well i should have told you that earlier yeah like I'm genuinely thinking of having a

15 minute nap just after this just put my head on the desk and just close my eyes for 15 minutes alright

we'll see you soon guys take care peace out love and honour and also take care of your kin

and your brethren if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com that's wolf alpod at gmail.com