Wolf and Owl - Ep 66: Garage Life & Sugar Fasting

Episode Date: April 6, 2022

We’re talking…. working in the garage, double curry days, giving up sugar and other fasting plans, bed wars, puppy gates, online customer services and Instagram influencers. Then after a bit of F45 training and some messages from our imaginary sponsors, we answer emails on a troublesome ex, the loss of a pet, ideas for a bike riding honeymoon and an organ donation. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Choose from loads of delicious, more-ish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. to learn more. We'll see you next time. Respect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast. Let me tell you something. There's nothing... Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm not sure if I want to be involved in this. What's that? You're Johnny Vegas or something

oh no do you know what so Andy Gray emailed in saying do an impression a celebrity impression to see if Tom well Andy Gray

the old football commentator yeah he said he's a by the way Andy I hope you're doing well over there I love that Andy Gray

would be in your circle of friends do an impression of a different celebrity every week take a bow son take a bow that was a that Andy Gray would be in your circle of friends do an impression of a different celebrity every week take a bow son take a bow

that was a good Andy Gray did you like that? that was a good I should have just done that I should have just done that yeah Johnny Vegas is not I love JV

Johnny's one of my fucking he's a god but my god man like you need to Andy Gray opening this podcast is a big idea

you know the saddest thing about all of that you know the saddest thing about all of that you know the saddest thing about is i was trying to do tyson fury my god oh man this is this is so we're both coming from umville today. Yeah, man. It's a thing where it's like basically where both you and I are basically being moved out of our own homes. It happens. It happens, man.

It's hilarious that like Kevin was like, you can use the garage now for your podcast records and sort of like doing your work and stuff. Big fan, isn't she? She's a huge fan. She doesn't want it anywhere. I don't want it anywhere near my daughter. Doesn't want to hear,

doesn't want to even hear the mumblings of it in the background in case it sullies your daughter's upbringing. And that was fine like a week ago. It was actually really nice weather. But now it's like literally, I don't know what the fucking weather is. It's like minus two or something.

I've literally, she said, look, I've got you a heater. Yeah, I've got you a heater. Yeah, I've got a heater as well. The problem with those heaters is, and already, as we know,

energy bills are like fucked. But if you leave that on, when you leave by mistake, you basically add a thousand pounds to your electricity bill. Mate, also the problem is, essentially, it's just like someone

with quite bad breath just breathing on you. It's the guy with quite... Are you warming up yet? That's all right, Tone. Let's leave it for a second, mate. No, honestly, I can carry on. I don't mind.

No, I like the cold. I'm not with Moff. I'm all right with the cold, mate. As soon as they found me, I've just fucking the cold, mate. And sooner they found me, I've just fucking half got up Everest. A fucking block of ice and a family guy standing there having to smell your breath.

So anyway, I interrupted you. What were you saying? Yeah, I've got... Right, so I've done a double curry day, right? What does that mean? I did curry on Friday night. Amazing. Incredible.

And when did you next have a curry? Last night, Saturday night. So that's... We had a tie, which is... You know what we had, right? This is the thing, right? So we've got... And I've talked about it before,

and it's literally my favourite, probably my favourite restaurant on Earth, God's green Earth, is my curry house near me. I've got to say, every time I think, like, he's... like, I had his okra dish, right? I did okra and chana dal mixed together. It was unreal.

Also, I stepped it up this week with, I'm usually a Bombay potato. I love, I think curry and potatoes are the two of the best things in the world. I think spicy potatoes. I used to love roasts. I was suffering a little bit with this once over on another the world. I think spicy potatoes. I used to love roasts. I'm suffering a little bit, but this was over on another podcast talking about my joy of potatoes. Have you ever had, is it

Jana Jar? Alu Jana Jar? No. Jima Jar? Oh my god. It feels like it's sort of flirting with the edges of sounding racist, but go on. Alu Jami Jar? Was it Alu Jami Jar? No, I'm trying to pronounce it

like I would if I was in France or any such country no but it was the guy suggested it and it was so spicy Catherine was like

I don't know how you're eating it I'm like this is everything what's your tolerance like for that sort of thing I can't handle it

but there's a part of me that feels like I know that I used to be really good with spicy food, but I feel now that, you know, like a footballer or a boxer or a goal, whatever, a sportsman, basically. Well done there.

That was lovely what you did. That feels like you're really making progress. Yeah. I mean, you did say all the sports and then shorten it afterwards, but still, it's a step. I feel like I used to be like a G, and now my powers are waning. So, like, every now and again, I'll sort of say, oh, look, put me on for the last 15 minutes,

I'm going to try something really, really spicy, and live to regret it. And then last night, we had a shot-braught Thai thing, which was okay, but it's just not the same, is it? You can tell, you know, it's it's just not the same is it you can tell you're always like i can smell the chemical feel the chemicals inside me from a really fresh nice curry on friday to the tire i can you know it's yeah it's not the same yeah yeah no i get you okay i actually um this is not me this sounds like i'm absolutely going too fitted in on what what you've

done there but like sometimes when we've had a run of, like, it happens quite rarely, but say we've had a run of, like, we've had a tough week, so we do a couple of takeaways on the bounce. I think we talked about it during lockdown, this sad state of affairs of when you open the fridge to put your takeaway in and see the leftovers from the previous takeaway in there that you haven't dealt with yet. But sometimes you start to enjoy it less

like you know if you if you've left it for a bit i don't mean left it out i mean like left ordering a takeaway for a bit and then you do get one i don't know man it's just better isn't it it's nicer you know this is this is a massive thing to say and like you know i'm really considering giving up sugar from monday to friday okay let me tell you something i don't want to ever shit on your dreams or stop you from being who you want to be or holding you back in any way but there's absolutely no fucking way you're going to manage that really i i tried it once how long did you go about a day and a half i i think because what there's two issues with it okay by the way by the way i would love you to do this i would love you to do this but it's very hard right the two issues are more things break that that fast than you think right because sugars and

everything uh the other thing is you will start to get really grumpy and really yeah and i just worry for cat in that situation do you mean it's not just cat as well you know what i'm realizing is um going back to gigging having a baby and working full-time yeah probably like then cutting out sugar might just be the well that whenever i think about things like this because i i did i do i do want to cut i have managed to cut down on my sugar intake actually right yeah because it is terrible but like but like awful but but but cut cutting it out completely you almost have to go i could only do this when i've got a period of time that my my behavior does not affect anything majorly do you know what i mean like if you if i was about to go on tour i'd never do it because it's absolutely if you're if you're just about to go on holiday yeah exactly you just go that's

all right i haven't got work commitments this is fine oh thanks from a massive sugar-free shit on all over our portugal trip i eat sugar so much like my go go-to, so like, so fucking need, like, so the other day, shout out my guy, James Defund. We're in a, we're writing together at the moment.

We're, you know, we work together all the time. Things going on for you, go on. Yeah, I just needed to shout out how great things actually are.

Just working on new stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on. We,

whenever we go, we'll, we'll, you know, like about 11 o'clock, we'll pop out and get a coffee have a little walk just to sort of like get out the office type thing he will like i'll always go have a coffee right i will always buy like a bun or a cookie or a cake to go with that coffee all right no it's like i've literally already had breakfast that morning where i might have

had a croissant yeah to follow a fr up. Do you know what I mean? And then, like, it's like I sort of have to go, oh, it'd be ridiculous just to have a coffee on its own. I'll just get a really sugary bun. Like, the other day, he was like, you did really neat. Like, I brought this fucking bun. It was, like, literally just nearly, probably half the size of my head, right?

Half the size? I don't think it was half the size of your head. Like, it was massive, this fucking cinnamon thing, right? Cinnamon, was it a cinnamon whirl thing, yeah? It's like a cinnamon whirl, but of your head. It was massive, this fucking cinnamon thing. Was it a cinnamon whirl thing? It's like a cinnamon whirl, but it's Swedish. It was big. I'll tell you what, it was the size of my fist. Okay, there you go. That's Hesh.

And a bit. Yeah, all right. And it had sugar on the top of it, cinnamon run through. I mean, it was fucking amazing, right? I sat eating it thinking, in an hour and a half, I'm going to be having lunch. And moaning about it, by the way. And I imagine leaning back in your chair and going to James,

well, fucking hell, what do you have to do to get lunch round here? We must be at lunchtime now, must we? That's ever afters. An hour and a half before that, I'd eaten breakfast. So, like, I look at it and think, when I say giving up sugar, maybe just being as fucking greedy and disgusting as I am with it. Well, can I tell you a thing that I've been doing, actually? Go on, mate.

Which I think is good, is intermittent fasting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the reason I mention this is because, like, apparently what you're doing is what I do as well, right? I do that a lot. Where, like, you just, like, every time you get an opportunity, you eat something, right? Or whatever. And actually what happens is it's a very, it's like a, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. you just like every time you get an opportunity you eat something right or whatever and actually

what happens is it's a very it's like a it's a self-fulfilling prophecy you just feel hungry all the time or you you want to eat something all the time yeah it's intermittent fasting i wasn't doing it to lose weight i was just doing it because i read that it is actually good to feel hungry that is you know like like you know that to get to yourself to a point where you don't eat until you actually feel a proper hunger is a good thing for you to do because otherwise you're by the way i'm doing this based on what i've half read not i haven't half read i'm half remembering from what i've read so um so like apparently like if you um if you eat as frequently as as you and i tend to your body's always digesting, basically. Unless you're at, you know, unless... Well, I don't know what you do in the middle of the night.

I know some people get up and have a little snack midway through. No, no, no, no, no. When Grace was tiny, I was doing that. Yeah, yeah. So you fart... I don't get up and walk down there. Some people... Mate, I know people...

A bounty and a fucking... Mate, I know people that do that, mate. Fucking crunch, really? Yeah, yeah. I don't want to... I won't, mate, because... This is what I'm saying. If you were to do that during the night, yeah, if you were to do that. Fucking crunch, really? Yeah, I don't want to, I won't name. This is what I'm saying. If you were to do that during the night,

that would be sounding healthy, right? It'd be a chocolate bar, it would be some crisps. Yeah, although I did used to envy. I never would do it. But you know, sometimes if somebody's a bit depressed, in a film you'll see it, and then they go downstairs, open the fridge, pull out a gato, and then they start eating. And then somebody else walks in and goes, you up too?

Oh, man. Yeah. And then they slice them a bit. I love that. I wanted a scene like that in my life, but it's never come up yet. Because if Lisa… You absolutely came me for talking about Dawson's Creek and stuff, but this is exactly what happens in there. Right, right.

So the thing is, I just thought, I can't even imagine what the look on Lisa's face would be to be woken up two in the morning. She walks into the kitchen and I'm sat there eating fucking cake in my underpants. I don't think she'd be... Tell you what her reaction would be. Her reaction would be the same as Kat's. I knew it.

It wouldn't be what's troubling you. It'd be like, are you, honestly, are you serious? You just couldn't let it go,

could you? It's still going to be there tomorrow, you greedy prick. Pull up a pew. You want to chat? No. I just couldn't

stop thinking about the cake. I wasn't worried about anything. It's just us just worried about this cake. I was just worried about anything. It's just us was worried about this cake. I was worried about the cake making it through the night.

We brought a lemon meringue roulade last week for fucking ten people. Oh, my God. And I had three big slices of it watching fucking Dragon's Den or whatever shit we were watching. And, like, literally just wolfing it back. Hello. Like, Catherine looked at me as I got up after my second piece

to go and get the third piece of leather, and she went, are you having another piece? I was like, we don't want it to go to rice now, do we? There is actually... Yeah, it lasts for three days after thawing out.

Yeah. And also, the idea that we don't want it to go to waste. Why is that a worse option than you putting it into your body? Because also, we don't want you to go to waste, Tom. We don't want you to get type 2 diabetes for the sake of the bin not being a bit more full. Mummy, what happened to Danny? Well, you know, he had a massive coronary.

He died. He had a heart attack. His blood sugar was so high. But on the flip side of that, we didn't let that lemon red Roulade go to waste. His last words were waste not, want not, as he tucked into his ninth slice of gâteau. That's why I always finish my McDonald's.

Do you know what I also know you would have done as well? Is that when you serve that Roulade and you saw people eating it, if anybody got a second piece, I can imagine you just sat there. You're already thinking about what the leftover situation is going to be. Yeah, for the next two to three days. I really like that roulade. Do you mind if I have another slice? You know something that fucking grinds my gears big time?

God. Catherine, I love her to death, right? It's one thing that she does. If we a big dessert right like that and it's a fucking it's a real you know it's a dinner topper right it's something that's like we've had amazing dinner that's you know we have people around and then katherine will go um oh god look at all that lemon roulade we won't be able to eat that um does anyone want to take any home with them i'm like what the fuck i know you'll always get one greedy person oh i should take a couple of slices thanks it's not a fucking takeaway

you prick go and get your own fucking roulade all you can picture for the next few days is them just like licking their fingers as they're sort of like yeah your roulade the other thing that lisa does which is i swear she does it on purpose but lisa's just not got a sweet tooth or she's not got she's just not greedy like i am she's she's just different makeup right i've told you before like if we're having a big lunch you'll say something like oh we won't need dinner after this and i just get so fucking angry but um one of the other things one of the other things she does is on the rare occasions that she tucks into a dessert if we have a dessert um i'll just absolutely smash it away right and then she'll sort of eat and then she'll i i honestly believe

she does this to make me feel worse i i'm not i've never talked to her about it but i do think she'll stop halfway through she goes god that is it's just too rich to finish that really isn't it it's just too but she looks around you're through that portion yeah literally I'm eyeing her portion you've got to finish that it just makes me feel like such a horrible honestly that's so rich and sweet

that's about as much of that as I could have are you trying to fucking are you taking the fucking piss is that what you're doing me and Catherine are both sweet toothers right

we're like facilitators of one another we're like Renton and Spud from Trainspotting one of us is fucking getting back in the game the other one is it's like literally we'll literally go oh we won't have dessert for a week and then on a fucking wednesday i'll bring home some cake from work and that'll be fucking it it'll just be like but but i i i was watching a i was watching a thing um i can't remember who the guy was it's so bad but i was on tiktok and there's this like nutritional advisor and he said that um the the best thing you can possibly do for your longevity

is to eat less frequently as in he's not even talking about quantity he's talking about eating like you know this idea of three meals a day is something made up do you mean and like and so i i i haven't i i didn't being on a on avoidance when we're filming it made this slightly tricky but i have been trying to do this thing of like trying to stop eating at seven yeah before seven in the evening and then not eating again till like one whoa whoa whoa whoa so no breakfast the next day no houses yeah but once you do that one apparently like well what i would say to you is you feel better for it like like the first couple yeah the first couple of days you're i'll be honest

with you you are hungry but like i think you should it encourages you to drink more do you mean because that takes that away a bit but what it does is you just don't feel as sluggish i do think it makes a massive difference, man. And apparently, I don't know. I'm telling you what. Just hit me up then, right? Yeah.

So when it, um, when you're, uh, like between one and seven, you eat as much as you want. Yeah. Yeah.

But you're not going to eat like, cause obviously, you know, we're not fucking. Well, you, you, it does sort of force you to eat fewer calories because as,

even as greedy as, as we are, you've only got six hours yeah yeah yeah fucking not have breakfast man it's hard though isn't it because like well you don't have to don't look at it as for the rest of your life just try it tomorrow i might try it i might try it i might try anyway what are you gonna say no i just look at it and being like like i've tried to do like i'll have my last meal at six. And then I'll have the next meal at 10am the next day.

That's good, though. That's still great. Yeah, but that fucking one you're doing is fucking barbaric. That is like, yeah, that's some full on shit, boy. But when we're on King Gary, you know, when we did the scene on the bus? Yeah. That fucking five hours on that bus. I never fucking made the edit yeah genuinely the one of the worst fucking things i've ever had to do like literally in a fucking

tweed suit one of the hottest days of last year anyway there was a guy on that one of the essays on that yeah it was i don't know if you remember him he's fucking ripped yeah yeah i remember him, he's fucking ripped. Yeah, yeah. I remember him, yeah. He told me he only has one meal a day. Thing is, once you get to that point, I bet it's easier.

What does that mean? Well, look, once you're ripped and you haven't got as much fucking bodies of fuel, it's like a Ferrari, it doesn't need as much petrol

as fucking, like a big old fucking juggernaut. Yeah, get the fucking minibus tops up, won't you? He's like, he's, I reckon once you've been at the rodeo enough you're not scared of jumping on the ball but you know for me and you

at the moment we need to i i i can't imagine because i find that there are days when i find that i mean listen i'm not doing it at the moment i'll probably start again next week but it's uh not eating not eating breakfast it's essentially what i'm doing is not eating breakfast but like that feels tough the idea that i would ever get to a point of only eating one meal a day and like as well it's like so much pressure is on that meal yeah i would literally be eating like it was i was on fucking death row it's what is the last dinner before i sit in the chair every fucking day there's a point of me wants to be healthier right there's a point of me wants maybe a bit a bit more fucking ripped and a bit more cylinder but there's also a point of me that doesn't want to fucking absolutely get to that one meal a day and put that pressure on it

i just i take well i love eating i like this i don't just like eating as in putting fucking stuffing food in my mouth i like to sit and eat like we talked about here but i like to chat to people have some food. It's like, you know, it's important. It's an important part of life. I think it's like, you know,

just have that. I think then it's, it's not, you're just fueling something, aren't you? Yes, you are. No, you're right.

I mean, I agree with you. Let me just say, that guy was ripped. Yeah. And he was a nice enough guy, but I spent a little bit of time with him and that was enough. Oh my God.

And even that's an exaggeration because we all know that you don't talk to the SA. Oh, my God. And even that's an exaggeration, because we all know that you don't talk to the essays. Oh, shut up. I love the essays. I've had some of my best conversations with those Jews. Yeah, yeah. That's the sort of brag that somebody that thinks he's doing something special by talking to them. You've not done a fucking comic relief video

that talks from essays, mate. Mate, we all know what you're like, that sliding over. There's one of these guys sitting down and going, look, see, I'm talking to you lot, like you're sort of on the same level. That's kind of how I am. Like you're human beings.

I bet you don't get this. This is my parade. I bet you don't get this from the number ones on the cool sheet very often, sitting down amongst you, like we're all on the same level. Yeah? On April 3rd, you must be very careful about it it's a girl witness the birth of evil it's the first omen i believe be as April 5th.

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Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis.

Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. What's your name? Gary. See, remembered that.

There you go. I bet you've never had your name remembered before. The title of the show. Mate, I've had to go to war with the company this week, Ron. Oh, no. Before we start telling the story, I'm going to declare it now.

I'm on the company side. Have you ever heard of Emma's Beds? Emma's Beds? Yeah, I have heard that, but I don't know what it is. It's like, well, it's a bed company but i don't know what it is it's like well it's just this you know it's a bed coming again but yeah yeah but like is it is it like a luxury bed no no no no so basically right um my parents were coming up to stay with us for a um for like a week and so like 10 days basically and um we had to get like another bed for the house um so shout out to tom skinner, Bosch Beds.

He basically provided, sought me out a mattress, like an emergency mattress, like dropped it to my house. Like, genuinely, what a legendary guy. I wonder how many times he's had a call demanding an emergency mattress. I actually think, I think actually he is almost like in a world where if you've ever got guests turning up out of the blue and you need them there, he'd be, I think actually he is almost like in a world where if you've ever got guests turning up out of the blue and you need them there, he'd be,

I think like the fifth emergency service. Do you, do you not think the Instagram post was enough in terms of what you're giving him back here? Do you have to do this on the podcast? Let me say, I weighed him in. He was a fucking,

no, look, great service, mate. Deserves a great shout. Emma's beds, however, was where we got the base from,

right? Right. So we ordered it for like paid extra for it to have like the next day delivery it's still not been delivered

and it's three weeks ago what oh god that what was unacceptable oh my god you sounded like something out of

Scooby Doo oh my god that was so you've just seen it the teacher's a fucking villain that was that was one of

those ones with the director cut cut cut, cut. Romesh, do you mind? Listen, could you go smaller with that, please? Just a little bit smaller. Just dial it in a bit. Oh, my God.

What? Anyway, go on. Hold on. So it still hasn't arrived? Still hasn't arrived, right? And this is the kicker, right? And by the way, you can comfortably say this now because all the merch has gone out. Yeah, all the merch has gone out.

Do you know, I've actually been holding on to this story for three weeks while I've been waiting for the fucking merch to be delivered because I knew that if I put this out people would be messaging like going by the way to the guy who messaged the other day after Romesh and we put out that all the merch has been fucking sent out and will be

delivered the aggressive email that you sent at fucking 10am saying your merch hadn't been there and then the one at 10 past 10 saying it had just been delivered. Wait for the fucking postman, you arsehole.

Generally like the most aggressive email. Like, where the fuck is it? It's been sent and then look, 10 minutes later, oh, it's arrived. Fucking give us a day, son.

Anyway, go on. I've been holding on. Yeah, but also, I'm like, at some point, Emma's Beds is going to come. They don't even answer. They don't answer emails. They don't answer, like,

the live chat thing. There's no real contact for them. Let me say, I think it's the biggest hustle ever. I actually, I'm going to go on and say, look, I've gone toe-to-toe with Krispy Kreme.

I've gone toe-to-toe with Cyberpunk. You've gone toe-to-toe with Krispy Kreme and've gone toe-to-toe with Cyberpunk you've gone toe-to-toe with Krispy Kreme and lost because you just said Krispy Kreme but anyway go on yeah yeah I lost man I lost

but big company and let me say Krispy Kreme came back even Newman came back right by the way can I just stop you there Newman we've got to

fucking can we please do one thing that we've said that we're going to do at some point on this podcast the number of times we haven't even done a scat episode that we've been promised that we've said that we're going to do at some point on this podcast. The number of times, we haven't even done a scat episode that we promised.

Right, okay. Can we, can we, I'm going to, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to speak to the swan after this. I'm going to get her to pick. We're going to pick the four guys today. Wow. And we're going to email you. All right.

Can we film the swan doing that? You want to film the swan sat at a laptop? No, just picking the four guys and giving her reasons why. Listen, you know Lisa. I want you to tell me what her response would be if I suggest that to her. Okay, I'll do it as a sketch. Let me know.

I imagine it would be similar to her arriving at the kitchen at 3am to see me with a fucking cake around the church. Lisa, me and Tom have been talking on the old podcast and we were just saying whether you actually wanted to pick the blokes from Newman who are going to have the Newman treatment and what we were thinking is whether we could, fuck off.

I'll pick them but you're not filming it. Fuck off. Alright, maybe. Is there any of that ghetto left? I feel like you've gone pretty harsh in how Lisa would behave. By the way by the way people that came to the shows when we mentioned the swan uh you gave a big cheer she was so lisa's very she doesn't like attention she was so delighted to hear that she got a nice response thank you guys thanks for doing that anyway go on sorry so so so what's

the deal with emma's bed so it's still so the bed is out in the ether it's somewhere somewhere right still waiting for it to be delivered or fucking get a refund emma's beds are literally now like uh ghosting them ghosting me they're like literally just like yeah like like they haven't even sent out a bed what What I'm saying is this, right? If they want a water, I'll give them one. Like they are honestly. How much? Are we talking a lot of money here?

I'm talking like 300 pounds. Yeah, that is a lot. That is, you can't let that, that's an annoying amount of money. Because if it was not loads, because I had a similar thing where, not similar to this, but it did arrive but i ordered something off a website i basically ordered reggie's been getting out of his room right like in the night he's able to get out of his room so we wanted to what's he got like a room room or has he got like a no just where the washing machine and stuff is his bed's in there

or whatever so he just like chills out in there and that's where he sleeps at night and we shut the door on him anyway we bought like a puppy gate like a wooden lisa wanted a nice puppy gate she didn't want some like so i looked and found one and basically it was really smart the way they'd done it they sent me what essentially did meet the record you know it did meet the description of what they said it was and it did look like the photo but i just can't explain it it was just like you know when people you know when people put up photos of like a dress that they how it looked on yeah how it looked on asos and how actually it's on them that's what i felt like it was with this puppy gate it was like it arrived and i thought fucking i mean it at least i started laughing when i put

it up because it's like even the dog was like you think that's going to hold me you really think that's going to keep me in a room and and so like but i had i just took it on the chin because it was like 40 quid and i thought i know for a fact they're never going to respond to me like there's no fucking way that's basically a thing where they go people order this it arrives it's shit they're never going to do anything about it. That's the business. There's a whole fucking cottage industry, which is this, basically.

And it's fucking social media and Instagram's fault. Where they turn around and go, yeah, it's 25 quid to 50 quid or whatever, and go, like, actually, by the time you go to the post office, you've got to pay for the fucking to send it back. People are just going to go, oh, fuck it. Oh, it's just too much. And also, oh the refund will take like 10 years to come back

to you because of that how our fucking accountancy firm works yeah honestly it's dog shit i mean we could say this now because we're fucking we've got a merch company hopefully doing great things and uh oh look look let me just also say we could do this because we've put our toe into this world, and it's not easy when it's just fucking three of you doing it. Yeah. Well, two, I'd say two. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was dealing with the complaints department.

Let me tell you. That is true. That is true. I'd much rather be packaging stuff up than getting the abuse I was getting. Would you? No, because I know what you'd have done, right? You'd have had some bloke go, yeah, fucking hell, where's my fucking hoodie, mate?

And you'd have gone, oh, God, I'll leave that one for when it's sent out. I've got to say, I've read some of your replies because I've CC'd in, thankfully. Thanks for doing that. I've got to say, I thought you handed it really well. It's a lovely turn of phrase you've got. Well, yeah,

yeah. I try my hardest to sort of, yeah, just put sort of something out there. And also like, there was a part of me at one point was going, yeah, as soon as bloody Rom gets his arse again.

Oh, mate, if you'd have fucking, you could have easily thrown me under the bus there. But I'm not that kind of guy, you know, as much as we Josh, we're in this together.

We got fucked over though on that. I've got, not fucked over. Yeah, we did. We were victims. We were victims. Yeah, much as we're Josh, we're in this together. We got fucked over though on that. Yeah, we did. We were victims. We were victims. The company that was meant to send us stuff

never sent us. Half the sizes didn't come. They were like fucking the wrong things that we'd ordered. They lost shit. It was mad. So everyone can rest assured there's an actual company dealing with this shit now. You can tell that we feel alright about it because Tom was telling a story about Emma's beds and we now descend into

another series of pathetic apologies. Emma's beds though, I don't apologise. There's no Tom Davies at Emma's beds. They've not even got contact. Have you tagged them in an Instagram? I have tagged them on Instagram, yeah. With a fucking revolving shit. Any response to that? Nothing.

I just don't think they care. But why don't you start you need to start firebombing their Instagram page. How do you do that? You just like start, like they must be, if they've got an Instagram page, they must be doing posts about their products and stuff. Oh, what, so I hit up their fucking posts? Just start commenting. This is, I love this vibe

of Rob. Well, no, I'm saying. I love this. I was half expecting you, right, to go, hey, hey, hey, come on, mate. Ease up. Ease up a little. I love this. I was half expecting you, right, to go, hey, hey, hey, come on, mate. He's up. He's up a little. I love the fucking, you need to firebomb those fuckers. You need to fucking take them down.

I feel like I'm in a Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington movie. I mean, the only thing I'm slightly worried about is if they're experiencing the same thing that we experience and they're just victims in all this. But I suspect they're not. Let me say, let me say, they're not victims. they're out there and there's a lot of influencers here as well with fucking being shat in the mouth or saying what great beds they are see like yeah and let me say i put that post up i got a lot of posts back saying that they're in this people are in a certain position i'd love

look i did a thing the other day right and i felt slightly um just on the subject of influencers. Yeah. So Flo, blessed agent and friend, she sent me like a little birthday hamper a while ago, right? And in that birthday hamper was loads of stuff I like. I think I talked about this at Truffle Chris or whatever. But in amongst it was this hot sauce called Truff, right? Yeah. And it's black truffle hot sauce. Ooh.

Okay. And I just posted that it was, I am happy to post about shit that's good. Right. Like I am happy to do that. And I did post up about it. I then looked at the price. It's 20 quid a bottle.

Right. Wow. I felt, listen, I felt like a bit guilty that I hadn't, cause I didn't know how much it was before I posted that. But I, I sort of think you, you have to go.

I realize that this is insanely expensive because one of my mates messaged me going, is that what you're recommending now? Fucking hot sauce. So I just want to just say for sake of clarity, I realize that's an insane amount of money to pay for hot sauce, but it is delicious. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a beautiful a beautiful thing right and also it was a gift but you weren't gifted yeah i mean that's also true so someone had paid that money for you you know yes correct correct

if you can convince somebody to get it for you as a present yeah if maybe like this is something you could do is just get like a rich friend who sort of yeah spends ultimately like 20 to 70 pounds on your birthday presents Christmas presents and then you can be like yo you know I'd really like some of this I'd love somebody to be my sugar daddy or sugar mama yeah would you like a sugar daddy um I'd love to see you with a sugar daddy what sort of things you have to do for the sugar daddy then I've got a picture in my head of you now like like anna nicole smith god rest her soul with that old guy that she used to be married to yeah he just sitting on the knee of like a rich old rich old tory yeah old Tory. Yeah. He's like talking all sexy.

Oh, it'd be nice if you could get Romy some of that truffle sauce he likes. I had a cheese toaster yesterday. It was ever so dry. And I think to myself, you don't want to make this go down nice. I think

if you're nice to Uncle Norman, Uncle Norman will be nice to you, Romy. No. But I don't want to. And when I say special sauce, I know what you're going to do. I don't mean that special sauce.

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and its official partners Air canada and mastercard but in all seriousness influences man it's a it's a dangerous i i'd love to know if anybody's actually influenced yeah i would actually it must it must um it must work because yeah because people continue to do it do you mean so it must make a difference but it's like like some of these things like when they've got when they hashtag ad do you not immediately go well fuck i'm gonna ignore this then do you mean like like you have to hashtag ad and quite rightly so but when they do that i just think well i mean like i don't believe anything you're saying now because i'll put stuff up on the basis of like

i've not been paid to do it and it's not an ad but it's like yeah and even if you were paid you don't you just don't do the hashtag do you just because it makes it more realistic yeah yeah yeah i'm all about realism but if if if they're saying that i think it's cool i think it's nice as you know as you will know i always shout out from the rooftops because i also I think it's cool or I think it's nice, as you know, as you well know, I always shout out from the rooftops. Because I also believe when it's a small business, like, you know, for example, perhaps golf clothing, I think are incredible for the larger man for wearing around the golf course. They're incredible.

Lovely, lovely bits of kit. Not too expensive. And I'm just shouting them. How are you managing how are you managing to play golf uh with the daughter of grace's age i just i just love to i have an incredible wife you really do don't you no it's more that i have uh we we when grace was born we decided like you know of a weekend or like if i'm working from home uh kaffin has her things that she would do, their friends and I have mine

Very healthy system. My question to you is are you doing a full round of golf? No, no, no, nine holes, nine holes mate I'm not at the 18 stage yet I'm four out, four or five hours But that's

one of the main reasons I haven't even been able to do it. It's just like finding four, but you don't have to, you can do nine hours. Nine hours is two hours. That's legitimate, isn't it? Yeah. And also it's like, I don't really do anything

apart from work. That's all I, you know, that's my social life now. I've been going to the gym quite a lot recently. And two things well no this is the one thing i've never i can't master is how long to recover between sets i know this is quite boring but like i like i go to the gym i do a set you know start off do a set and then you're supposed to wait what like 50 seconds or something like that yeah i find that i'm bare i

find that unbearable that way. Just sort of sitting there. I sort of think I'm supposed to be at the fucking gym and I'm just sitting here looking at my phone. Don't look at your phone, number one. You've made the biggest error you could ever make. Look at yourself in the mirror, all right? No, thank you.

I mean, what the fuck do you think I'd want to do that for? No, look at yourself in the mirror and go, you're doing this. You're doing this, Rom. Take yourself in. You're getting better. Aren't you making me into the sort of people that you and I would take the piss out of? Yes.

No, you just, usually you should be so fucked from the set you've just done. Right. You should be. You can't even lift your phone. Yeah, no, so you should just be sitting there recovering your strength. You know what I'm starting is F45 this week. Yeah, no, so you should just be sitting there recovering your strength. You know what I'm starting is F45 this week. Mate, this is mad.

Look, I don't know what the fuck's going on in life, right? But I swear to God, this happens to me a lot. And I don't know if it's because you notice it or whatever. As soon as something gets mentioned once, then suddenly everybody's... I mean, that's how trends work, isn't it, I suppose? But I'd never heard of f45 before friday night and then uh and then a mate of mine went have you heard about f45 he started raving about it to me yeah he's thinking i think he's thinking about opening one up actually but i'm thinking about hitting the franchise up it's fucking good man so go on what is f45 so it's essentially it's CrossFit, but for normal people rather than fucking

revved up dickheads. Like, CrossFit is, yeah, great, but that is, for the likes of us, it's too much.

CrossFit is, and it's a bit cult-y, it's, you know, F45 is, it's for, it's for an average Joe like me or you

who wants to get in shape. I popped along, had a little induction. Did you? Loved the vibe. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to start.

Was there one there, yeah? No, no, no, in town. I'm going to start twice a week. It's you? Loved the vibe. Yeah, yeah. Was there one near you? No, no, no, in town. I'm going to start twice a week. It's going to be my vibe now. Yeah. So it's 45 minutes of high intensity shit. Yeah, yeah.

Like, yeah, 45 minutes push. And then what I'll try to do is just do, with my guy Stan, I'll do the heavy lifting a couple days a week. Yeah. You know what? It's trying to, you know, we like we we live busy lives don't we you just want to i think 45 minutes then you you know boom boom you're out yeah no i get it i get it you remembered the sales pitch they gave me cool

um we should do it together one time yeah i used to i used to do that with a bloke i used to work with we in our lunch breaks we'd go to the gym. Yeah. Did you enjoy it? It just is something. I just sort of think when you're working in an office, and I didn't really enjoy the job, what you want is to be able to look forward to your lunch break. And then when you know that you're going to go to the gym and smash out on the treadmill, I just sort of think, I don't really.

It wasn't for me. It wasn't for me. You know, but the difference is he's absolutely ripped now and I'm talking to you 20 years later about my ongoing battle

with trying to get fit I have the problem that I'm like a trend hunter I'll jump on yeah yeah I get that from you

very strong I'll jump on the basis of something's really cool so I'll jump onto it and yeah six months down the road I still look like a puddle. Yeah. You know, because like a few months ago,

we were desperate to get this fucking all-in-one gym thing. I barely thought about it. If you genuinely look behind me, you can see all of the different hobbies that I've picked up that I have now left. They get further and further to the back of the room. It's an ongoing battle, guys. I feel like we've mentioned a lot of companies there.

Is that bad? No. It's like a corporate podcast. We're not getting paid for any of this shit. I did Adam Carolla's podcast. Do you know Adam Carolla? I don't know. American comic. His podcast is fucking huge in America, right?

Right. And he used to present that... Do you remember there was that show on MTV where they'd give advice? It's a bit like The Wolf and Owl, but 20 years ago, and actually when it was an original idea. But it was him and a psychologist

or a doctor or something. Anyway, I'm getting into too much detail. When I was in America promoting Just Another Immigrant, I did his podcast. Right. and they had so many sponsors like so many sponsors and ads because they were so massive but like you'd have a conversation and then like two minutes in he'd go okay hold on so uh do you ever uh find yourself looking for a place for a meeting and you can't find where you're going and the sat nav on your phone is and you just start doing that right in the middle of your chat and then

you come back to you and start chatting it was like that all the time the whole way through it and they must like they were in an amazing building the whole setup was like a tv studio they must have been absolutely coining in on this podcast man so i guess it was whatever they're doing was working but it felt like so because also i was going at it this is 2018 going there from the uk where we're so behind them in terms of like the commercialization of podcasts and stuff like that it just felt mad i couldn't hopefully catch up right oh i'd love to i'd love to be like going should we go to the emails and by the way the emails today are sponsored by Mento. Do you ever find yourself, uh,

lacking in breath, freshness or whatever? I'd love that. Speaking of which, shall we, uh, head on over to the emails, uh,

which are today brought to you by trough. The, and I'm joking. Okay. Uh, thank you once again to my by trough the blend i'm joking okay uh thank you to once again to my wonderful wife the swan for um choosing the emails uh okay this one comes from oh well he says right at the beginning i'd like to be kept anonymous all right uh i want to ask some advice on a difficult situation a minute and see if you had any advice for me for the last two months i've been in an amazing relationship with my lovely gf i couldn't be happier and she's helped me with my terrible anxiety making me feel better about myself but previously i've seen a girl who had a

really negative effect on me and got me stuck in a depressive rut the problem i've got is i met them in the same place and they've got a pure hatred for each other even before i was in the picture recently the previous girl has been trying to get back in contact with me asking my friends about me and regularly calling texting and trying to affect me and my new GF. Shit hit the fan when she called me when I was with my now GF while we were sat watching TV. Obviously, my GF was not happy about this. Do I deal with this head on and tell the previous girl that it's none of her business and leave us be or just ignore and see if she gets bored any advice would be much appreciated you guys keep doing

what you're doing when I'm feeling at worst with anxiety I stick the headphones on and listen to the new episode of the wall for now well thank you very much to you anonymous Tom do you want to roll in with a little bit you want to roll in with a bit of advice yeah Tyson

it's tough on this because I'd sort of rolling with a bit of advice. Yeah, Tyson. It's tough on this because I'd sort of been inclined to sort of I don't know, there's a part of me that seems to just leave it and let it die out, but also I've never been in a situation when anyone really ever wants me back. I used to cry whenever I used to hear

the Jackson 5 song because nobody had ever said it to me so so I listen to Eric Clapson and it's hard to believe we're in heaven and love is hard I look if it is getting to the point that it's affecting your new

relationship my brother and you're finding that he's not doing your your your your you or your gf any any good and it's it's affecting your mental health because i think it must be there's a worry to that i think you kind of have to reach up head on and and to say that this is i've moved on um you know as hard as that may be for you and there's like you know but this i'm very I'm in a happy place right now. Are you okay just to step back and leave us alone? I think it's very difficult if you're trying to move forward

with anything in the past. It's knocking on the door and raising its gnarly head. I'd say that dealing with that past in whatever measure you can is worth doing so yeah give her a shout, say yo just stop I thought I was going to start saying a little bit more

oh my god what the fuck happened to you there I don't know it was like a mini sort of like breakdown I just actually just thought about him just yeah. But yeah, get in touch.

Say yo. Hold back. Yeah. It's difficult. I don't know whether you're still seeing this person or not. Are you in it?

Like because if you're at the same place, if that was work, then this is very difficult because you're going to see this girl regularly. But if you're not, I look two things i think one what

tom said is right i think you need to you know you need to say come on mate our relationship's over and i'd appreciate it and you don't have to say that in an angry way i think you're saying a very matter of fact and polite way and see how she responds the other thing i would say is um with regards to your current girlfriend i you know it's not really your fault if if this girl's calling you do you mean and i and i think i would chat to her about what she thinks you should do about it and and sort of you know figure out a strategy together maybe because um you get in a call when you're with your girlfriend i mean i i think if that happened, look,

I'm not saying my relationship is perfect. And if Lisa ever was to do a podcast, I dread to think what she'd say about me and the relationship. But, um, I sort of think, you know, if you trust each other,

that that shouldn't be a thing that you should get into trouble for this girl calling you. So, um, I think, you know, work out a plan together to, to,

to see what you should do about this and be, and as always be absolutely honest and open about your, with your girlfriend, about how much she's calling you, what you think she's doing, blah, blah, blah. So that there's no extra worry because for her, she might be thinking this person I hate that my boyfriend used to go out with is now contacting him. So there's an insecurity there or, or whatever. And I think you need to manage that and be understanding of that as well. So there you go. That's my advice.

I sort of felt like I meandered through that. Contradicted myself quite a bit, but good luck with it, man. I hope it goes all right. Okay. Next email. This comes from the Tabby Cat. It says, hi chaps. Love the pod. long time listener uh first

time writing in i'm a 39 year old man who recently lost his cat but the cat for nine years since he was a kitten uh the wonderfully named paolo de canio oh no sorry not paolo de canio paolo de catio after my footballing hero now he's gone missing before and it's totally out of character and has always come home after a little ramble around the street the cat cat is like my best mate, so losing him has really affected me, and I'm struggling to concentrate on anything else other than my little pal. We have posters up everywhere, and leaflet the fuck out of every house within a one-mile radius, yet still no sign. I'm a full-grown man, yet I'm not ashamed to admit

I'd been an emotional wreck recently as a result. I'm basically like a teenager upset about their first love dumping them. The kids are taking it well, but I'm not coping. Am I being too sensitive? After all, it's only a cat right uh brackets it's not he's part of the family secondly of either of you uh how do you think i should deal with that tom the curse was brilliant loved it romesh your live show was worth the two-year wait wonderful stuff keep up the good work love the tabby cat um well, yeah, talking from personal experience myself, man. So, yeah, one of the things that we've struggled with

and that's been quite hard for myself and Catherine in the last few months is that since Landis was attacked last year, since Landis was attacked last year, he sort of, yeah, he sort of, he basically sort of went downhill quite quickly from there in a mental sort of, his mental state, the sort of, you know, signs, he just sort of showed quite a lot of worrying signs of like little bits of sort of aggression,

but also he just wasn't quite himself. And we really tried to sort of like work out what was wrong with him and tried to sort of, I think we sort of pretended almost that he was fine and things were fine with him. But actually, you know, once Grace was born, there was a couple of incidents where he, yeah, he sort of showed quite worrying behaviour.

So we had him had him looked at and um checked out and um so found out that he'd sort of had uh like um like a sort of like a like a brain tumor kind of thing and and um the attack had sort of brought on quite a lot you know sort of almost sort of accelerated sort of a downward spiral, actually. So quite sadly, you know, and I wasn't really going to talk about this, but I do get a lot of messages about him and people sending, you know, pictures of each one of them, and it can be quite hard to sort of look at. But so we had to have him put down because, yeah, he was just in a very good place.

And we sort of did everything we could before we had to do that, really. But, yeah, it was the only thing that, for him and for us, that we could do because, yeah. So, yeah, man, I completely, you know, Landis was like, you know, and we'd had him for nine years, we'd had him since he was a puppy. And he wasn't very much a part of our family in the time when me and Catherine

weren't able to have children, in a time that we sort of had this picture-perfect life in our heads that once Grace was born, it would be the four of us, and that wasn't to be. And Catherine's really, really struggled with it. We both have, but for me, I struggled with it. We both have. But, you know, for me, I think, you know, I try to think about the happy times, you know, the amazing times we had with him. So I don't ever think that, you know, it's just a cap

because I think, you know, they can become a very, they can become a crutch. You know, I think when we moved up here and I didn't really know anyone and that was, you know, Landis, me going out with him and walks with him and to the pub with him and writing. That was a massive part of my life. And during lockdown, when I was trying to keep my head together and, you know, those walks that we'd go on,

the three of us were massive parts of keeping me sane. So, you know, pets are amazing things. And, you know, there's never probably a day that goes by that I don't really think of him, but, um, it's, uh,

yeah, I think about the happy times, but also, yeah, nothing lasts forever. And, um, yeah,

you have to try and, yeah, you just have to try, I guess, and be happy. But, um, yeah,

man. So, uh, yeah, that's, I wasn't going to talk about this today, but, um,

it feels, it feels good to have mentioned it. Um, yeah. So my thoughts are with you, man. I, I, I get where you are um uh i know how hard you've uh you look obviously i know how hard you found it so um for you to talk about that it's um it's an amazing thing man but um look uh

i what i would say is the truth is is i think that um you should allow yourself to deal with it however you deal with it i mean i i i don't i'm not uh uh i i would i would never advocate pushing your feelings down or like not allowing yourself to wallow in that and you know if your kids uh taking it well that's great if you're not coping you are actually coping by you know just be sad about it you know if you allow yourself to feel that and deal with it how have you exactly what yeah i'm crying about it i'm not gonna i've cried a lot we both have yeah and i think that is that is all part of the process. Um, I think you should, you should not be hard on yourself and you should not,

um, stop yourself from expressing that in any way. Do you know what I mean? And, and if that means you're upset and you're a bit down and you're crying and, uh, you're sad about it, that's totally fine,

man. It's in fact, it's actually a healthy part of it. I mean, so, uh, please do not, I feel for you a bit that you feel bad about feeling like that. Do you know what I mean? So please do not, I feel for you a bit

that you feel bad about feeling like that. Do you know what I mean? So just don't, just don't, man. Deal with it however you have to deal with it. I feel bad about feeling bad, man. And genuinely, like I say, we've both cried about it. Even as silly as it sounds,

like we had food last night and it wasn't very good and like you think of like usually he'd just be sitting there eating the rest of the rice or whatever

and giving him prawn crackers and that's like yeah but like I say you have to you have to make sometimes the memories

that make you feel sad happy because they were good times you should never lose that good luck man I hope it all goes well and love you Tom

love you brother uh okay hello uh ron wow that's it ron and tom um yeah i i i i've got to be sure i've just sort of as i've said that quickly scan this email i'm not sure what we're going to be able to say to this okay i don't know what i mean just just to say uh on the legs of this email they kind of had to pick up the show a little bit i know this is this is i'm not sure why lisa thought we'd anyway look i'll read it and we'll uh hi ron and tom i've had to email him because I've been surviving cycling up numerous Spanish hills by listening to your early episodes. Never before I've been able to get to the top of a hill without swearing,

but your comforting tones have seen me through. My husband and I are recently married, and cycling through Spain is a kind of honeymoon. We didn't plan a single day and have reached a point where we don't know where to go next. Do you have any recommendations? Wow. Or do you have any advice for making the honeymoon

particularly special albeit a year later than expected as a covid kindness regards um i think this is pretty much the most special honeymoon i've ever heard of right like defeating mountains slaying personal bests yeah yeah yeah absolutely do you know what tom i know for a fact that if cat suggested this as a honeymoon for you, it would have absolutely been fucking buzzing. No, I'd have done the first day and then we'd have been going to a fucking hotel, right? Or a hospital. These two people are fucking smashing through.

This is an incredible thing to do. Because what you're doing is you're just steadfast in that marriage and making sure that you're a double act, right? You're a fucking pair. You're out there. Like, I don't know. The only cyclist I can think of is Lance Armstrong.

Um, uh, for Bradley Wiggins would probably be a better person to use this as definitely would have done. Yeah. Uh, you're out there slaying stuff as a team. And that's what a marriage is.

It is best. It's a team, you know, it's a duo, whether you're smashing up mountains or you are overcoming mental mountains that is very important uh as to where to go is man i challenge yourself even further i just look at your husband straight in the eye and go let's fucking go to the alps or the pyrenees and fucking smash up these mountains even more and just take on the biggest mountains

that we can and i think you know what i think next time you email in, you'd have done it. Yeah. I remember getting an email from a member of their family saying they were found halfway up Everest after being given some fucking terrible advice to try and ride up it. Rob, what have you got for them, baby? Look, I'm going to be honest. honest obviously you're a well-suited couple

because the idea of cycling up spanish hills i can't fucking begin to imagine wanting to do that so well done to you for doing that that is why i mean obviously you're a well-suited couple have you thought about stopping do you mean like what I mean? Like, you know, maybe like doing like a little luxury, like a luxury couple of nights somewhere. You've earned it. You've burned a lot of calories. What you're saying is hitting that port of Benoist

or Torremolinos and just fucking kicking up the shoes and going for a dance. That's what I think. I think just absolutely smash it up and do something. Maybe do something a bit luxe. Get a bit party.

Get some nice food down there. Sweet tings and mountain wings, baby. Yeah, absolutely right. Sweet tings and mountain wings. You're doing a lot of poetic summaries. I really like that. I really liked your don't feel bad about feeling bad. Oh, man.

I have these little things. What was it? I've already forgotten the thing you just said. So anyway, look, good luck with that. Congratulations, by the way. Yeah, we hold you both dear. We hold you both dear. I still need to take Lisa on honeymoon.

Have you not taken on one? No. Oh, my God. We've been on honeymoon. You know what, guys? Send in suggestions for where you think Rob and Lisa could go on honeymoon. The owl and the swan.

Oh, we could video the whole thing. What, the honeymoon? Yeah, the film, the whole thing. Yeah, and then we could just play the audio into the podcast, yeah? What are you i'm trying to be sexy and lisa this is something i should have done to you a couple of nights after the wedding we're gonna do it now what have you got a whole big i really i need to i need to i need to i feel sorry for you I need to I need to I feel sorry for Lee

I need to you should do it you should do it I'll tell you what me and Catherine will look after the boys yeah okay listen

I love you too much to put that on you I love those boys but they're a fucking handful mate the idea that we would be able to enjoy our honeymoon

knowing that the three boys are fucking lipped up to find you. Me and Catherine had a baby. Yeah. Just come. Oh, God, I can't even.

Anyway. Yeah, we will go on honeymoon. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Keep on doing you. Keep on smashing. Keep on slaying.

You got this. Okay. This will be our last email. This is a bit of a heroic one actually well i think although i've already sort of led you on the advice there uh dear wolf owl swan and cat this is from the pig tomorrow i'll be donating my kidney to a stranger it's a low risk procedure it will have no negative impacts for me other that i'll be laid up in bed for a few days looking forward to listen to the wolf in our back catalogue to keep me entertained while i recover

i just hope i can keep my laughter in check so I don't break my stitches. The reason for my email is that last... The way I read that was like he was saying it sarcastically. The reason for my email is that last year, when I was still weighing up the possibility of kidney donation, I told my dad, with whom I have a friendly relationship, although we see each other only once or twice per year, his reaction was very unsupportive.

He tried to convince me not to go ahead and the interaction left me feeling quite upset since then i've been anxious about telling anyone in case i get a similar reaction so i'll go into the theater with only my partner and mum both of them have been concerned for my well-being but wonderfully supportive in the know my question is how do you think you'd respond if someone close to you such as your partner or your kids when they've grown up told you they were considering donating a kidney to a stranger cheers the pig well the pig um if someone told me that my god i would just i think i'd well up i'd get all fucking groovy and gravy and i'd just take their hand i'd probably kiss their the opposite of the palm i can't remember the forehand the back yeah backhand forehand probably kiss the volley the fuck are you talking about

I'd hold them dear and I'd hold them tight and I'd say yeah you just inspired me I'd probably actually even now like Romesh was reading your email I was thinking actually maybe I should donate a kidney I don't know if anyone wants a sort of squalid fat or stinky kidney actually look Romesh

thank you for the offer of the kidney we have actually found it will make their condition worse. So we're going to leave it if that's all right. But listen, what I will say is generationally, sometimes I think, you know, we found this a little bit when we were going through the surrogacy. I think sometimes people, I think, you know, whether it's the media or it's whether like sort of people like in their heads

think things are sometimes worse than they actually are or more difficult or more scary than they actually are that's just human nature people when they haven't read about things uh can make them a bit of a demon you know thing and and you know your dad's probably just you probably just worried about you and and like yeah that's a that's a beautiful thing man because um you know it means he cares but um and and what if your missus and your mother but um i think it shouldn't that shouldn't be taken away from what an incredible thing you are doing and and what you know selfless human being you seem to be um i think uh yeah and that they'll come around to it and at some point what's going to be beautiful and amazing. And what's happened with us anyways, is that once you're through the woods and you're out into the sun,

everyone realizes what an incredible thing has been done. And, uh, yeah, man, I think you're, um, yeah, it might,

it might not, it might not be a week or two after, after you've gone through this procedure, but at some point your old man is going to put his hand on your back and go, you know what? You want hell of a pig. I don't know your name. I would have said it otherwise, but yeah i totally listen um look the truth is is that is it as tom said it's a generational thing there are some people there's some older generation or certain people that just feel the idea of doing something like that for a

stranger is a weird thing to do that you you know that's something you do for friends or family and you don't do it for somebody you don't know and we need to get rid of that you you know that's something you do for friends or family and you don't do it for somebody you don't know and we need to get rid of that you know like that that attitude is is is not helpful i think you know you the the fact that you're doing this it's a wonderful and amazing thing you're doing and like what an incredible thing to know you've done do you mean it's just such a a wonderful lovely thing you've done for somebody and sort of facilitating them living a normal life. I think it's fucking amazing what you've what you're doing. I mean, and so the you know, in answer to your actual question, if

my partner or my kids tell me they were considering donating that, you know, obviously, similar to your partner and your mom, you go, Well, I hope we do this safely and I hope it all goes fine. And I'd have that concern, but I'd be completely supportive of them doing that, I'd like to think, because I think it's such an amazing thing to do. And I'd be really proud of them. And but I just don't think, you know, don't be too harsh on your dad. Where that's coming from, I think, is worry. He's worried about you going into surgery for somebody you don't know basically it's not coming from a bad place so and i think the main thing is you know how amazing you are that should be said so look try not to be upset about that he just doesn't

get it but don't let that change the fact or change your attitude towards the fact that you're doing something incredible so well done for doing that man we're very very just impressed and happy for you um so uh i wish i hadn't said that in a sigh like that as if i didn't mean it but i do mean it so uh well done man uh thank you very much for your emails uh tom yo my g you ready babe i'm ready babe okay yo there was an eagle and a pigeon and they were hanging out together quite a lot and flying around and, you know, just hanging, really, just, like, getting to know each other and shit. But the pigeon noticed that every time, like, the rains came

or it got stormy weather or the snow would come, the eagle would disappear, you know. He'd just fly out of sight. And the pigeon was left in the rain uh and uh you know having to navigate through quite stormy winds and such one day the pigeon turned to uh the eagle and said yeah bro um whenever the weather gets harsh and when the weather gets strong uh you seem to just disappear and the eagle is like yeah every time the weather gets tough you know what i do i make for the clouds and i fly above the clouds because above the clouds there is no bad weather it's kind of just ambient

and it's nice all the time and the pigeon's like oh wow that shit sounds good yo and next time it starts raining the eagle takes the flight and the pigeon you know huffs and puffs and gives it all he's got but he makes it above the clouds and then they, you know, huffs and puffs and gives it all he's got, but he makes it above the clouds and then they just fly. They fly together above the clouds and it is ambient. And, uh, for about a couple of months, uh, every time the rains or the storms come or the snow comes, the pigeon follows the eagle above the clouds and they just fly. And then the pigeon turns to the eagle and says, this shit is boring. You know, and then the pigeon turns to the eagle and says this shit is boring you know this shit is boring because the truth of the matter in life is you can't always fly above the clouds sometimes bro

the rains and the snows and the winds however hard they they be and however they mix with your fucking wings and make you wet and make you cold and kick the shit out of you they make shit interesting and you know what you may be big with those lovely wings and that beautiful beak and everybody raves about how cool you are you ain't able to navigate through all these different climates you always just fly above the clouds life is always going to give you bad weather. Embrace it. Fly through it. Because it will make you stronger, yo. What a lovely, sort of slightly unclear message from that. Thank you so much.

That was... I don't know what it means. That was true. That was really lovely. We all have to fly for the rain sometimes. That was really lovely. We all had to fly for the rain sometimes. That was really lovely. And Tom, again, I just want to say thanks for sharing that story, man. I mean, obviously, I know that you've been going through it,

but I didn't know. Thank you for your support and being a friend. I don't say it often enough, but thank you, man. Love you, mate. Love you, mate. All right. Take care, guys. Thank you so much for listening.

I'll see you next time peace out my guy if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com that's wolf alpod at gmail.com we'd's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.