Wolf and Owl - Ep 67: Nervous Laughs & T-Shirt Weather

Episode Date: April 20, 2022

We’re talking…. nervous laughter, not paying attention, cocky pups and dog whistles, single-layer temperatures, embarrassing gym moments, sweaty trains, nose plasters, wrinkled T-shirts and bonding through badminton. Followed by a couple of email questions on secret take-aways and a very messy lodger who's outstayed their welcome. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course they'll have to meet my standards, and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+.

On April 5th... You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth... Bad things will start to happen. Evil things of evil. It's... No, no, don't.

The first omen... I believe the girl is to be your mother. Mother of what? It's the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. Only theaters April 5th. It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back. Roll your way into prizes like coffee, donuts, and even $60 Tim's gift cards. Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply, Canada only, no purchase necessary.

Visit the Tim's app for details. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served

Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff, a puff and a

Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Yes, hello and welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast With me, Tom Day, er no me Yes, hello and welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast. Wow. With me, Tom Day... No, me...

I just thought... I'll be honest, I didn't think about what... What a fucking time to show off you could do a Chris Eubank impression. No, but last time I did an impression, didn't I? And then I remembered I was supposed to do an impression and I'd forgotten. And that's... Oh, joking aside, bro. That was a pretty sick Chris Eubank. Thank you. Thanks very much.

Better than the Tyson feud. I don't know why I've gone for a boxing theme. Absolutely no. Are you, in a way, is this your way of just going, let's make this a boxing podcast? Absolutely not. No. Did you watch the boxing last night?

No, I did not. I was out, actually. I was out last night party rom no it wasn't party rom it was just regular rom I went to see I went to

the Royal Festival Hall to see David Radigan doing it was like he had an orchestra with him and he was doing like all the classic reggae tunes

it was good so did you go with Lise no Lise has got absolutely no interest in that who did you go with on your own I went with Flo oh nice nice agent and buddy yeah agent and buddy that could be your new that could be yours and flo's podcast uh agent and buddy i'm the agent and i'm the buddy we had a great time

so um why don't you tell the uh the listeners a little bit about reggae and what that sort of means to you do you um do you ever meet people who always talk like they're laughing we went to the uh we took grace to the farm uh for the first time so we bowled at a little bowl about and uh but there was a woman who worked there and i was like you know when you say oh you're perfectly suited to this because it's a farm with kids you know it's great but everything she said she laughed as she was saying it and you you're like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Like, literally, like, have a great time walking around. Be careful, obviously, with the animals and a baby.

Because you have to worry about sometimes contamination from one. So don't pet the lambs. And the ice creams are open until three o'clock. Please don't pet the lambs because your child will die. There is a good transfer

of bacteria from lambs to babies anyway. Have a great time. You've got the weather for it. Is that nervousness? Yeah yeah the problem with that is i find myself having to respond in kind what you laugh along and so i don't laugh along but you sort of you sort of have to smile that you can't look straight faced at somebody as they sort of descend into sort of but even just doing that i've just done like 25 seconds 30 seconds of that i feel exhausted

yeah yeah we'll snip some of that out, obviously, before we labour it a bit. But yeah, go on. No, but it's... It's exhausting. It's tiring, yeah. Yeah. To be that happy about things all the time is just... One of the things I've noticed about myself

from doing podcasts, interviews, stuff like that, is if I'm sort of nervous around the person, I don't laugh as i'm talking i just laugh at any kind of small joke they make yeah way too much it's really bad if you go back to watch me on any panel show sometimes i don't say anything but you'll hear my laugh i actually i remember getting trolled once saying just tom davis will laugh at everything and quite a lot of time i find things funny but also i have a nut i genuinely like sometimes watch people on panels like when i'm on a panel show or i'm on that sort of show and

if someone's having a real tough time and look like they're dying a bit i've because i've been there and it's the fucking worst thing in the world i'll really over egg a laugh like i'll really you literally see the audience going oh maybe we just don't get what this fucking guy's talking about. I sometimes have the opposite of where, like, I'll dip out mentally and say somebody will say something and then everyone will be laughing and then I just sort of come back into the room and I think, oh, fuck, I've got no idea what was just said. Then everybody's, like, zinging off the top of it and I'm like,

oh, I'm going to have to wait for this to pass. I have a real bad, so whenever I do any sort of shows, right, where, you know, like 11 o'clock show, 11 o'clock show, how old am I? The last leg. Yeah.

When you're in, when you're in Steptoe and Sons. So when I get my time machine, I go back to like 1995, I go on the 11 o'clock show. When you started on Last of the Summer Wine. Yeah, yeah,

go on. I have an awful thing is sometimes i zone out of listening to the person because i get transfixed on the um like autocue so oh yeah that's bad that's really distracting yes it's all i do on sunday brunch is the worst one i just sort of end up just sort of like drifting off and then just staring at the sort of autocue thinking yeah i've actually i've actually sometimes seen you sort, and you're sort of mouthing the words silently to yourself. Also,

it's so much harder than that. Trying to read when they're going to ask you a question because your name's the last bit. So if they turn around

and go, um, I love those guys, but they do like, they like a laugh and they're talking as well. So Tom, have you ever made

a souffle? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on one second. I've got an issue. Lisa? Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

That was sorry. Hello, Tom. What happened? Oh, no, I can't lock you in because you're not going to get out. No, don't lock me in. Did he just come in? He just came in, yeah. Did you open the door?

No. Oh. I don't know how much did he just come in he just came in here did you open the door no oh um i don't know how much of that will keep him basically we've got a situation with reggie right what's he doing he thinks my he thinks my office is one of his toilet areas oh you're joking no because like he doesn't ever come in here so i guess i i guess dogs don't have the concept of what the outside is i I suppose. So he just thinks it's a new... Because obviously when we take him for a walk, he shits and pisses. Yeah.

And so then he comes into the office. The other day he just came in. I was sat doing something and I wasn't focusing. He just squatted in the middle of the office and came in. How old is he now? Six months. Too old for that kind of behaviour, isn't it? Also, he's coming to a time when he will be starting to try and sort of scale up

the sort of, the pecking order in the house. You told me, okay, I'm going to let this bit go and then I'll challenge it after. But go on. No, no, no.

That's what dogs do, right? Essentially, like, the Ranganathans are now his pack, right? So he looks around you guys and he'll be like, okay, where do I sit amongst you all? It's a hell of a pack to work out who he can jump on top of and who he's going to be subservient to. So what he's seen, he's seen your office and he's gone,

right, let me just try this guy. So there's two options here. One, he's gone, right, let me just try this guy. So there's two options here, right? One, he's been doing that. Hold on, are you about to ask me to go and shit in his room? No, mate, but sometimes you need to do that sort of stuff. What, in front of him? So wait until he's in there, sort of just sitting down for the night, just walk in, squat, and leave.

Or do a shit when he's not there. So he just comes back in and no but what might have been happening is he might have been using when you're away

he might have been using your room as a bit of it like Lisa might have just put like some sort like toilet tray down and he's just been going in there for a poo rather than going outside

I don't know I don't know what's happening how's he been with you in general does he feel like he's got a cocky attitude towards you how do you

how do you determine whether a dog's being cocky's got a cocky attitude towards you? How do you determine whether a dog's being cocky or not? Does he listen to stuff you say if you give him direction or orders? No. He doesn't. Does he listen to other people in the house? Why are you getting so excited now? I'm not getting excited. No, you're supposed

to be my friend. I am your friend. No, but you're not. You're not behaving like a friend now. What you're doing is you're getting excited at the possibility that i'm in a bad situation that's what's just happened no honestly when i go when you honestly the way the how fucking excited you just got when you go does it does this chill no and then all right this is so excited no because i think like sometimes when we're breaking through barriers it's a beautiful thing, right? That's not what that look was.

No, that look on your face was not we're breaking through barriers. Right. Do you think when they were all trying to find Mordor on fucking Lord of Rings, it was all fucking sweetness and light? I don't... You can relate to different things with me relate to different oh gosh no but right no wonder fucking reggie's shitting in this office i can't even spit out a sentence in that little gang right in that little gang right have a look have a

think about it have you what yeah well you had aragon right legolas or whatever right there was a lot of fucking pimping guys, right, on that fucking journey, what they were going on, right? Okay? And a lot of people vying for leadership. And, like, when you actually first look at it, who was the fucking leader? Aragon.

And then Gandalf fucking stepped his grey beard in, right? But you know who actually the one that they ended up respecting the most? Who? Sam Wachowski. Sam Wachowski? Sam Weissgemji? Yeah, right, whatever. Are you talking about Mike Wachowski from Monsters, Inc.'s Brother?

No, but you know who they ended up respecting him and why? Why did they respect him and love him the most? Because he had his tongue firmly up Frodo's arse. No, because they called him Sam the True, right? I think, right? Because he was... I don't know. I have not watched it in a long time.

I'm going to, for better or for worse, take what you're saying as the truth. And the reason they did is because, actually, he was sweet and lovely, right? They all, like, you know, and all the rest of them pretty much end up dead, okay? What I'm saying to you is don't try and be Aragon or Legolas, someone that you,

or even Gandalf, someone you can't be right. Tom, Tom, I'm not trying to be Aragon or Legolas. I just don't want my dog to shit in my office. Okay. What have we got here?

Boom. Right. Right. Instead of barking orders at him and being like, you know, when did I say, okay, you've made that assumption. I'm not barking orders. No. What I mean you know. When did I say, okay, you've made that assumption.

I'm not barking orders at him. No, but what I mean is when he comes in next time, because what happened then, right, is he's come to take a shit in your office or away, and straight away you're like, Lisa, Alex, right? You're panicked, right? What you should have done is just gone, hey. The reason I was panicked is I didn't want to have to.

Ordinarily, I would have dealt dealt with it but I'm on the podcast Yeah I know, yeah So I was just hoping that one of them could come in and grab him but ordinarily if I was sat at the desk and I wasn't doing a podcast I wouldn't sit here in fear at my desk going Lisa Alex get him out of here

I would actually deal with it myself it's because I was in the middle of recording a podcast. It's why I reacted the way I did. Right, so next time he comes in for a wee or a poo, you just go, no, Reggie, no. Okay? Okay. I mean, I do do that.

The idea that you think teaching me to say no to my dog is fucking new information is absolutely fucking incredible. Because you know dogs can only understand. And also, not only that, it took you about seven minutes to fucking get incredible. Because you know dogs can only understand. And also, not only that, it took you about seven minutes to fucking get there. You know that dogs can only understand like five, six words max. And apparently, I read that dogs'

names are just like, dogs don't give a shit about names. That's a fallacy we've given them. They never had names before human beings came along. Obviously, they didn't have all their names would be bark, wouldn't they? I know that. But the point I'm trying to make is they don't have the same attachment

to their name. It's just like a... No. And also, you've got to be really, really careful about... I mean, because it's all right.

Number one, it's how you say it, right? Yeah. When you're in the park, you go, Reggie! Reggie boy! Right?

But you could almost go, Bluebell! Bluebell! And it would be the same thing right no I get it it's just the sort of like how your tone of your voice works

yeah I get it I find calling a dog back calling Reggie back in public spaces tricky get it you know what you should do?

Learn how to whistle really nice. Yeah, I haven't got that in my locker room. Like this, like that. Oh, that'd be cool if he's right next to my head. What am I supposed to do if he's across the other side of a park? No, get one of those dog whistles. If I'm lying on Reggie,gie yeah i can see how that would work well you know what you could do get um one of those nice cool dog whistles i have it one of

like a funky chain and then like when you're out you look cool but also you're able to sort of get in contact with him and stuff yeah he respects Lisa he does respect the boys I do think he respects yeah Landis I love Landis more than anything I need to say

thank you big shout out to everyone who's messaged oh mate we've had so many loads of people thank you so much

for all your messages and support but he always respected Catherine Moore always I remember talking to Flo actually

once and say to Flo he stopped wanting to turn left with me when we went for walks and he just did that out of

you know he just didn't want to and he used to sort of like be fine but I go I'm going to go down here and he'd just go shake his head

and walk off and I said to Catherine oh he doesn't ever want to turn left and she was like he's fine with me so look just with you

you had to go right every time yeah so you end up doing a circuit that Just with you, you had to go right every time. Yeah. So you end up doing a circuit that's just all rights. You literally just go like that. No, I get it. I understand what would have to happen, yeah.

Did you ever get yourself into, like, a problem? Like, it's like, oh, yeah. Fuck, oh, fucking hell. I don't know if we're going to get out of this one, mate. You've had it on another three miles now, mate. But it genuinely, I knew where my... Mate it mate i've just i'm the same now you know with grace i'm the bottom of the pile yeah you know that's just but grace let you turn left right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah at the moment she's going through a phase where she just won't let me leave the room like she'll just shout if if i just if i go

out of the room she just, she'll just shout. If I go out of the room, she just shouts. Yeah. Lisa does that. Really angry. Where are you going? I'm going to Festival fucking Hall, mate. Oh, right. You didn't want to come.

As soon as you leave, your office door's cracked open and Reggie goes in for a shit. Go on, Reggie. Go on, Reggie. Go on, Reggie. This is what he gets for going to see David Roddigan. Go on, do a big one. Fucking curried his pedigree chum.

Listen, we've got a problem here. I'm really hot. I'm wearing a jumper. I notice you're wearing a hoodie. Both wearing unsuitable clothing for this weather. And the big problem that we've now got is it is we're currently experiencing single layer weather it's a huge issue you know what as well like is i find a comfort in a jumper or jacket or an overshirt i love a hood so much you're talking t-shirt weather right yeah like number one t-shirt makers y'all and actually we

need to look at this very much only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor canora has got you our new canora rice cups deliver all the tastes without the proper wait time we're talking yummy creamy hearty goodness Choose from loads of delicious, more-ish flavors, ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. Free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda.

It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo,

the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. That t-shirt,

look, the neckline of a t-shirt just fucks so quickly these days. I know. Mate, yes. Preach, Tom. It's like literally there used to be a day

where you could have a T-shirt and you could have it for fucking four or five years and the neck would never fucking move an inch. Yeah, and I'm talking nice T-shirts now, right? And literally,

you wear it fucking twice and before you know it, you're knocking around town in a fucking scoop neck like some... Yeah, mate, this scoop neck... Why is that?

Is that because we've got huge heads? Is it only... No, no, no, no, no, no. No, it's... Mate, people are cutting corners. People are cutting corners out there brother it's outrageous mate and it's you know what it's a good look if you've got fucking whatever this bit is here right where you've got that you know that bit on your neck that comes down between your shoulder and your neck there's a clavicle is that what it's called i think so that bit there if that's defined and

you've got fucking nice shoulders right that you can bust that look and it looks fucking hot it's like it's like you know what i would give my right really really weird detail to pick out there just so you know no no it is if you've got if you've got nice traps you can wear any sort of t-shirt right right if your fucking traps look like fucking bread basically that's just been fucking puffing out. Well, that's what my shoulders look like. Nicely risen fucking flabby bread. It's like, I would love just one summer to be able to put on a vest with

a nice fucking vest top and just walk around the garden in, not even to go out in. Listen, I think let's leave that. I think let's leave vest tops as an unattained ambition even if you did get ripped i just think would you still not wear one i can't imagine a situation

where i'd ever wear a vest ever you know um and i see and i see people rocking them and they do look good but i cannot i can't i can't leave the house in a vest i busted a long time f45 right um you're still hitting that up regular? Not as regular as it may. I mean, if I'm honest with you, it's fucking, it's great,

but it's gruelling. It is gruelling. It's supposed to be though, isn't it? Oh, man. You know, 45 minutes, you're getting your day's exercise.

They've got to smash it. It's so intense. So intense. But the guy who was showing... Isn't it high? Isn't it hit?

It's basically hit, but yeah, just a sort of... And you know what the I stands for, don't you? What? Intensity. Yeah. And you know what the I stands for, don't you? What? Intensity.

Yeah. And you know what the H stands for, don't you? High. High. So to turn up to a high-intensity class. No, it's actually HIIT. It's high-intensity training. No, but I'm saying to turn up to a high-intensity class

and complain about the intensity feels like... Yeah, but F45 doesn't say that in the on the in on the packet well look what i'm saying is this right it is very very very very like genuinely i was like absolutely fucked after i mean this is the awful thing right so it's circuits okay so you've constantly how many times have you been by the way three okay so you've got people behind you all the time right so when you finish with like one of the exercises someone comes onto your exercise station i quite quickly realized and every time i've been there that i was by far the sweatiest person there which meant the person

behind me literally probably the three or four everyone behind me essentially would be going oh god this fuck and i was trying to dry it down but everything's so quick like you literally finish your 45 seconds of like whatever and the guy's right okay guys come on everyone up to the next thing and then you're like you've got to move but then you're trying to dry down the thing because it's just now just glazed in fucking sweat and then you just see the person behind you going oh like oh god i just like i had a horrible fucking realization that anyone behind me in that class was going back to work and going oh how was it 45 i was okay i stopped behind this really sweaty guy though and everyone's like oh god he sounds

disgusting i had something i've had two humiliating things happen to me exercise related recently oh god so so i did a pt session the other day yeah and he got me to do these farmer's walks you know he yeah yeah carry these these kettlebells up and down the thing yeah and i said to him i said to him on the last one i really felt like my hands were gonna go right like it's really like so i said to him like i'm you know i did it in a pathetic way of life it's a bit difficult because of the grit. You know what, grit's going. It's going. Yeah, that is exactly.

So anyway, he said to me, I've got some liquid chalk. So he squirted this liquid chalk onto my hands. And you rub it and then you get this coating of chalk on your palms. So obviously it starts helping out. The problem with the liquid chalk is, i i was i was really sweaty right and my i started to get a really hungry ass like my boxer shorts kept going like right into my crack genuinely right in all the years i've known you that is my favorite thing you've ever said like like like genuinely i want that as a soundbite for when you text me. I started to get a really hungry arse.

So, like, it started, like um my boxer shorts start going really like properly into my crack every time doing like a thing right so so I'm like

repeatedly pulling my boxer shorts out my ass but the problem is because i've got because i've got liquid chalk on my hands it's leaving a fucking record of every time a kid who's fucking overzealous on a pick a mix powdery grab marks on right in my fucking yanking your own pants yeah like the fucking pts like chrissy is like just sort of just pretending to ignore the fact that there's a fucking forensic trail of everywhere i've

touched myself during the class that liquid is horrible man it's genuinely one of the worst things you can have that liquid chalk oh and then the other thing that happened to me was um so i've been doing pt but i've been going to the gym in between to sort of like carry on the stuff he set me up with and um i was trying to do squats no something, something. Something with that bar anyway. You know, it's on the rack or whatever and you walk over. It's quite, I find that bit quite, you're in the middle of things a little bit there and I don't like it.

Do you know what I mean? You sort of, in my gym, you're front and centre when you go to use one of those squat racks. Yeah, man. I get it. So I find that a little pressure. Anyway. Oh, fucking.

I'm an absolute rookie error. I put like some weight on each end and i didn't put clips on oh no and then like i went to put the bar back in the thing and then i've just done it slightly off and then the classic thing the weights fall off one end and then because the other end becomes much heavier the weights off the other end just clatter all over the floor i've got noise cancelling headphones on right so i've got no idea how loud that was i look around people just like obviously like laughing to themselves but don't want to make you feel like a prick right so i put the things back and i said you know when you do that thing

like i used to do this thing when i when i used to trip over i'd look back at the curb or the paving thing like it was its fault to try and cover my my error up right that's what i did i did the weight has come off like totally 100 my fault should have put clips on didn't re-rack it properly then i just look around at the way it's just shaking my head just going bloody hell mate i had a moment this week when um so i've been playing uh Manager 22 I've become obsessed with it all new fathers do yeah why you know

you've got to yeah you've got to find a way to sort of meditate that's your meditation yeah and it's now gotten to the point where it's sort of

something I I slip into sort of like when I should be working I'll just be on the fucking train or whatever or in the office anyway

when the matches start on the on the fucking train or whatever or in the office anyway um when you're when the matches start on the um on your on each match starts basically they have this sort of really bad synthetic crowd noise it goes right um i'm playing on the train the other day and i thought i had my i'd be if these earphones on but i didn't that basically hadn't bluetooth them up so when the fucking crowd noise started on my mac and it's going everyone on the fucking carriage is looking around at each other right me being fucking the me that i am i sort of pull my earphones down and it's going look that sound and i go i start looking

and making eyes at people going fucking hell like that and um everyone's sort of you know looking around quite a few people i've sort of think i don't know if they've sussed it's my fucking mac anyway um like the guy sitting a few things up is looking just looking down like you know because it's so fucking loud yeah and i'm going to him like this is fucking ridiculous ridiculous this is meant to be a quiet carriage trying to sort of bring everyone I've got no idea it's my Mac so then someone who works for the train comes down

and there's this so you've gone two footed in on this oh mate I've gone I've literally become the fucking mouthpiece of this whole fucking situation I've literally become the guy going this is ridiculous one of the train stewards comes comes down and all you there's a and i went excuse

me is that going to be happening the whole way back like seriously like it's quite off putting and he just goes button i went the sound and he's like and he literally looks at my mac and he's like i think if you just press this and he just pressed the mute on my laptop the whole thing goes quiet like the crimson red that i went and you talk about sweaty ass right like for some reason when embarrassment comes right and you've got to try and go right i can't show this in my face because i have a as soon as i get embarrassed i start sweating and i like you know it's winter outside in the carriage it's fucking obami 18 degrees right so i'm already ragged off a little bit so i'm like oh just don't oh cheers mate and then i start my ass just all

the embarrassment goes to my fucking ass right so i'm sweating profusely then in my head i've got rum bum right what you're talking about like the sweetness all i can think of is i'm wearing a pair of beige chinos right then i start flickering like you know like a fucking almost like a forrest gump monologue like kind of fucking montage vibe back to when i was at school and i remember riding to school once and i had like a fucking pair of cream tracksuit bottoms on and i had like where's where is summer i had like this fucking almost perfect fucking line down my ass crack of sweat i've had i was just all i could think of is like i've run you you're wearing fucking beige fucking chinos you dickhead you should what you you know to wear a longer coat you know to wear a man you're sitting there basically thinking this line is forming now as i said no no i mean i'm like it's

formed right i've got a bomber jacket i'm wearing with it and like i'm sitting in a number one fucking leather sheet seats should not be allowed on fucking it's like that fucking plasticky leather sort of stuff so now i'm like in the best case, I'm thinking it's a line, right? In the worst case, this is a fucking puddle, right? And, you know, literally I waited for everyone else to get off the train.

I'm sitting at the front of the train. I was waiting for people so no one would be behind me, right? And then, I went to the toilets on the train and pulled my trousers down to see if I could see the line from the inside.

Which there was no line there it was fine but there was it was just yeah is that i have like sort of flashbacks of dry like riding through town like you know when you just feel free and you feel so fucking you're on your fucking bmx you're smiling and you're just like yes life is great and everyone you're driving past is just seeing that fucking tiny little fucking line. Like a little landing strip. I mean, it happens a lot with, I've seen it a lot with Sark, because you're driving behind a guy that's giving you like three solid inches of crack or whatever. And they've got no idea. They're just sort of like living free.

And I just think, let those people, I hope beyond hope when I see that, that they never discover that that's what's been happening. Oh, it destroys riding bikes. Cause you know, you get, you get home and then you look, it's like when you get home from a thing, we talked about this before and you discover you've had a bat in the cave for

the sort of entire afternoon or whatever. It's just absolutely. I will say this actually, I've noticed in the last fucking two months of my bogey situation is getting un, like even before we did like the wolf in our lives, you were amazing. You were like, you've got a bogey in your nose. I Even before we did, like, the Wolf in Our Lives, you were amazing.

You were like, you've got a bogey in your nose. I'm noticing now that it's like... I don't know what it is. It's like... I don't know if it's an age thing or it's just... How close are you

cropping your nostril hairs? Just that I'm interested. Well, I've got the waxing situation. I used to like... Apparently, that's not good anymore. Really? I've now read. What?

You do the thing where you stick the two things up and then rip them out. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, that's not good. Why?? I've now read. What? You do the thing where you stick the two things up and then rip them out. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently that's not good. Why? I'm basing this on, like, I would say,

a rough estimate, a minute and a half's research. But I read somewhere that apparently, like, when you pull your hairs out, and I'd love a nostril hair expert to get in touch and verify this for us, but apparently if you pull out the things, you leave the pores open, and so you're actually

sort of in you're leaving yourself open to potential infection or something oh wow apparently i i've i've moved to trimming now what do you trim them with then little little tiny pair of scissors just get up in there give that a nice little fucking yeah but that mean that is actually one of the bravest things that i've ever heard you do. What do you mean? I don't do it on a train. I'm completely stationary, like sitting on a bed. Yeah, but still, one little fucking slip, mate, and you've got a bleeding nose. Yeah, sure.

I mean, that's true about sort of anything you do, isn't it? I mean, I shave as well. Are you going to give me a purple heart for that? No, but your nose is like, because you know what? You can't get a plaster up your nose sure yeah you're absolutely right you're right you put some tissue up there if you some of the most harrowing stories uh uh of people that have got a small cut somewhere where they can't put a plaster on you're right i think they're doing i think they're doing a netflix doc on that

just just making the doc getting halfway through and go, what would someone do? And then someone turned around, I think actually you just roll up a bit of tissue and put it up your nose. Yeah, they just stick a bit of tissue up there and it stops bleeding and is absolutely fine. Oh, this has been five months of nothing.

Everyone can go home. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really?

Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2.

See purchase a 2024 escape ST line. All wheel drive with tech pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just two 67 bi-weekly cash value of 40,294 plus eligible Ford owners get a thousand dollar bonus for details. Visit your local Ford store or four.ca. See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor? Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put

towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Sorry, I know we moved on, but I do need to ask you a genuine question that I probably should have asked you before the podcast. But how do you store your T-shirts in your wardrobe? Because I just want to break down a very first-world problem here, okay? Yeah.

This is what's happening now. Because we're in single-layer weather, this is the main reason I brought it up, but then we moved on. I'm getting ready to go out in the morning. I look for a T-shirt, and despite the fact my T-shirts are folded, I pull them out, and they're too wrinkled to wear yeah they just look completely fucked and then i think i am not going to iron this t-shirt like there's absolutely no way so then i just don't wear that t-shirt so it's like actually what happens is i just start searching for a t-shirt that i think t-shirts are the worst is this a real problem yeah because

everybody shirts jumpers hoodiesodies, you hang, right? You hang up. You can't hang a T-shirt because it fucks with the neck. You can though, can't you? Or can you not? It fucks with the neckline, man. So what do you do? What do you do?

Well, there's actually these little, you can get these little folding deck things that you fold them on. You can get them in card for you because you like subservient or whatever. What? You like all sustainable stuff, right? Right, sustainable? Yeah. I thought you were,

it sounded like you were talking about a fucking, trying to name an Italian ice cream house. Salsa Benetti? You get these little things and you so you fold them put them on the each layer right and then you can whiz through them like that like you're going through like i don't know like library books yeah okay and actually so you're not pulling them out because i imagine what you do you pull them out and go i don't want that one i don't want that one yeah that's exactly it's exactly what i mean i don't deal with the noises but yeah that is that so no we all do that

the other way to do it mate and this is something simple chilled and maybe do this after this podcast today it's a gentle roll yeah instead of folding you roll so what you can do when you're rolling you can see them all in front of you the different colors yeah yeah but what i've noticed man you get three or four wears out of a T-shirt now and it's done. As in full stop, not three or four wears before you put it in the wash. That's disgusting. No, no, no.

But I just think they lose shape. No, no. The good ones, there must be good ones. There must be good ones. I love a, like, I like a nice T-shirt.

But, but like, sometimes they're too thick then to wear in the summer. Like, I'd love someone just to reach out and go, yo. If I'm honest with you, you can't really,

I think ASOS do some incredible T-shirts. Obviously, our ones are amazing. They're still available in the merch store. Very much still available. Turns out when you sort out a merch situation where you have got enough to meet demand, you realise that there isn't as much demand as you anticipated when you just bought 50 in and sold them all on the day yeah and it took you six months to distribute them well i'm sure there's like a sort of like

because like people obviously like sort of ralph loren and ship and adidas make a shit ton of money from like clothing but there's probably like a fine line isn't there between how to do it and how not to i don't think there's i don't are you suggesting there's a fine line between us and adidas no i'm just saying no i'm just saying that we didn't necessarily get it right the first time this time doesn't feel like it's necessarily you know i i feel a bit we're almost there aren't we we're almost there i slightly feel for the sort of people like from the merch store who we've gone, oh, actually our merch is already really, really busy. And then I realize a lot of people just complain.

We've got six guys sitting by a laptop waiting for a fucking order to drop in. I had just another quick embarrassing thing I've got to tell you yesterday Theo and I were at a loose end Alex went off to watch the rugby actually, he went to his first rugby match

he went to watch the Harlequins I think he might be a rugby fan I do understand rugby, I used to play it at school because I wasn't allowed in a football team but he's like a anyway, I'm getting into too much detail he was out watching the rugby I used to play it at school because I wasn't allowed in a football team. Anyway, I'm getting into too much detail. He was out watching the rugby. Charlie was at a birthday party.

Theo and I at a loose end. So we decided to go and... I don't know why we arrived at this decision. We decided to go and get a badminton set and play some badminton. That's pretty cool. That's not at all what I thought you were going to say. Yeah, I know. It's not what I thought I was going to say either. So then we get,

so we get going to town to buy the stuff. Oh God, honestly, mate, I felt so bad for Theo. I basically fucking really embarrassed my son, like really embarrassed him. Why? So we walk into the sports shop and they've got this like,

we ended up buying it in the end, but it's like, it's a badminton net in a box, right, that you set up instantly. And, like, these two poles, you just extend these two poles out the side, put the net across, and then you can just pack it down and carry it with you wherever you want, right? It's a good bit of kit.

Anyway, they've got the little cases, and then they've got one, a display one at the top. But for some reason, I don't know why, and it actually freaked me out. I couldn't see the net thing. I could just see the case. So I've seen portable badminton set, right? And I've gone, oh, this must be it here. And I've gone to grab it.

And then I've pulled it. And I've just fucking pulled the whole net. It just made this massive bang in the shop. People stopped what they were doing and looked around. And then I was straightened up. Honestly, man, Theo was like, you know when you see a teenager being embarrassed by their parents in a film or whatever?

It was like that. It was just like, oh, my God, Dad. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe it. Oh, my God. And then this member started the shop. They were looking around to see if anyone from his school was there.

Yeah, it was like that. It was like that. This woman working there came over and goes, are you okay? Do you need any help? Which obviously means, can you stop fucking around with the display? And then I go to her, yeah, sorry about that. And she goes, yeah, can you just be careful?

Let's try and be careful with the... I said it was an accident. And then I sort of got... Yeah, I wasn't coming I said it was an accident. And then I sort of got, yeah, I wasn't coming to vandalise a shot. That's the kind of thing you do on a weekend

with your son. You're that sort of shit kicker. There's a weird guy that sort of, just keep your eye out for this guy, comes in with his son, just starts messing

with the display. They seem to think it's funny. Anyway, the reason I'm telling that story is that I think that's the most that Theo's ever been

embarrassed. Like for about an hour afterwards, he's going, oh my God, oh my God, that was so embarrassing. Did he find it funny I think that's the most that Theo's ever been embarrassed like for about an hour afterwards he's going oh my god oh my god that was so did he find it funny

because that's the thing isn't it because what happens at that age is like those things are never humorous until you get

a little bit older and you realise that that's just they're the little fucking bricks that make us who we are I know

I know did you play badminton or did you get back and it was like it had been sullied the badminton set no no no we did play badminton actually did everyone come back in? It was like it had been sullied, the badminton set. No, no, no. We did play badminton, actually.

Did everyone come back and you sort of all played together as a family? We did, actually, yeah. Oh, that's genuinely, that's one of the happiest things I've ever heard. It's really genuine, mate. You know that sometimes you smile inside and you just sort of... Yeah, I remember. I've seen you smile outside, though. It's when you thought that my dog didn't respect me.

No, but I've just got a beautiful... Lisa's coming out in a flowing dress. She's made some homemade lemonade. Yeah, Lisa's got her maxi dress on, ready to play a bit of badminton. Flowing in the wind as she reaches for her backhand. You're the boys. You're Alex Beach.

You grab him on the floor you have a wrestle and Reggie's barking yeah we'll bring out some squash who wants a bit of cordial shall we have a little break and then I've just got

this vision of you and you're lying on the grass and you're just like in a pair of shorts and a vest up and um you just go

sometimes life is fucking good. Do you know, I know you're taking the piss but that is so close to what happened. Just sort of had a few rounds of badminton, everybody was laughing, Reggie was losing his shit.

You were standing there fucking yanking your underpants out of your ass for some reason I decided to use a liquid chalk again all over the boy's hair

where you're tucked in there all over Reggie's back where you're stroking him I do think like you know like you know like how some people are always grabbing their balls and stuff like that always scratching or something i do think something like you know

like those disclosing tablets yeah you see where you've got plaque on your teeth i actually think that liquid chalk is quite a good product for seeing where you sort of scratch and touch yourself how much do you scratch and touch yourself i've never seen you scratch your bollocks i don't tend to scratch my bollocks although i did um i sort of scratched my bollocks so much once in my sleep that i woke myself up right at the moment scratch your bollock seasons here because that fucking heat when it kicks in boy yeah you really do can i just say this is public service announcement even if you're not showering first thing in the morning men can you please wash your hands thoroughly before you touch anything mate okay genuinely it's i don't

know how much scrotal tissue is on men's phones in this country yeah or in the world because like a lot of people first thing you do before you do anything is reach for your phone and that's straight you're talking about usually what you'll do is scratch your bollocks and reach for your phone because what you'll see is like with grace and reggie right dogs and babies first thing they do is stretch maybe i don't know like i think that probably goes up to five or six we don't do that right we yeah what what is that because i just sort of think the kids and dogs seem to have a better attitude towards sort of flexibility and mobility than than we do grace literally you wake up in the morning she would just like have this long stretch she'll sort of stretch all her body out and you're

like yeah ready for the day I'll literally wake up I'll sort of drink get rid of my death breath have a scratch on my bollocks look at my phone for 10 minutes and then drag my ass out of bed

how often are you cleaning your phone? I clean it quite a lot I try about twice a day feels like something you've said for the podcast no I don't how are you

cleaning your phone twice a day with what? what's it called is it called um it's a floor i think it's called the spray the flora yeah mate is this worth getting this stuff look it's you get it off amazon it's incredible kills 99 of bacteria and ball bag they need a bit of heat um okay i'll check it out um all right, should we do some emails? Let's do it, Bubba. Now, just so you know, normally I check out the emails. Oh, you haven't done it?

Well, I don't really check them out. I sort of have a brief sort of scan. But you're going in unprotected. Totally. I'm barebacking these emails. Okay, this first one is... Jesus Christ. it's from the horribly fucking greasy ape that has been signed off jesus man okay morning all it's 8 30 in the evening and my girlfriend went away this arvo for a few days i need to know if i have a problem or whether i'm okay for context with both

28 have a house and a dog and decent but busy careers every few months the lady in charge goes away for a few days to see family etc she's a legend and she loves cooking which is why we get along so well because i fucking love eating whenever she goes away for these little trips she plans little meals for me and make sure there's enough in the fridge for me to put together some bits for myself in the evenings while she's away i'm not incompetent she just likes doing it and it's a gesture i genuinely appreciate i mean i this is this is the thing i've had this before you know when somebody does something for you like this and then you tell your friends about it and then they call you an arsehole because you're making your other after anyway however whenever she's gearing up to go and is telling me what's in the fridge i cannot help but smile and nod while

mentally planning oh god well mentally planning the takeaways i'm gonna get while she's gone for example today's gnocchi looks especially like chicken chow mein, Singapore noodles and spring rolls, from a restaurant with a one-star hygiene routine and a very similar Google review rating too, but I couldn't help myself. I just love having shit food when she's away. The higher the risk of food poisoning, the better. I don't even know why.

It just reminds me of my uni days, where I lived like a carefree slob, eating cheap food from questionable places in the darkest, injurious corners of the city. It's my way of properly switching off, I i suppose sitting in my undies doing absolutely sweet fuck all for a couple of days and eating whatever i want without consequence except for the fear of shitting myself in the following hours does anybody else do this and is this normal bearing in mind i've just consumed about 7 000 calories in chinese food this evening and it's tuesday thanks very

much thanks so much love the horrible fucking the horribly fucking greasy ape i mean he's basically now the fucking name of the season right that's incredible what a name of the season well yeah oh yeah yeah it's great it's quite derogatory though isn't it yeah but i kind of like that because i love i'm doing self-derogatory it's my favorite thing that's why i love you i know but i feel like we need to be encouraging people to be a bit more yeah but also look this guy's hilarious right I can see that look I would say now this guy

you're sitting with him round his flat you get a takeaway he's going to really make you laugh you eat together you've probably watched some fucking cool shit

on Netflix and you don't even watch it because you're all laughing so much he sounds like a good guy do you know what I'm sure this guy isn't like that

because somebody that would talk the whole way through you trying to fucking watch something on TV. I don't give a shit how funny you think you are. Shut the fuck up. Right. What I'm saying is you've got Jim Jefferies or some stand-up in the background, right?

And we're all just fucking pissing ourselves laughing. Just eating. I can imagine you watching a stand-up special doing toppers that you think are better than what the comics do. I've been in that situation. You should have said this. I've been in that situation so many times.

Yeah, look, I will say this. At the moment, me and Catherine have been having this conversation quite a lot because we're the newborn. I don't know what it's like for you, Romski. But what I find is we get to sort of, like, we'll have all the best intentions. Lunch is usually pretty hell for you, and then you're doing the sort of bath time, bedtime ritual.

It'll get to like this really weird sort of five o'clock, six o'clock time where you're like, okay, right, well, should I just cook something? And you end up just going, oh, look, fuck it, we'll just get a pizza or we'll get McDonald's, Chinese, whatever, Indian, whatever. But also, I will say this, is that both of us individually at times have been like, oh, fucking hell, I feel like shit because we're eating all this shit.

And sometimes I think in life it's actually just going, you enjoy it, right? We don't drink. It's one of our small things that we both enjoy. We sort of have a mutual love of shit food. So I wouldn't punish yourself. I would say that I'm always, always fucking looking at hygiene ratings. I mean, I don't get the fucking ordering something like a Russian roulette. Yeah, the hygiene rating.

I was with you on everything apart from the hygiene. Yeah, I've never, like, I will swerve something if it's anything below a fucking what four star and even then I'm fucking that's where I'll be like dicing my death with a four star

it has to I mean seemingly most places have a five star review these days yeah did you see that have you watched Boiling Point

yeah it's amazing that film's so good but that bit where the guy going through and then he drops from two stars on the hygiene right he's so fucking good it actually gave me it was just it was the closest

i've got to getting an appreciation of how difficult it is to keep up a hydrogen star right and i had no idea how those things were awarded and what you had to do i thought i thought that quite easy because it seemed like everyone's got a five star right i think it's i think it's like the the simpler your operation is the easier it is to maintain. So obviously if you've got like a, if it starts to get more, every time you get a new piece of equipment, that piece of equipment has to have like,

I don't know, 20 regs that you've got to maintain or whatever. You've got to keep the paperwork up on ICU. I don't know. I'm speaking from complete ignorance. Listen, Greasy Ape, I have got no issue with you eating takeaways. This is my thing that I would say to you. You've got to tell your girlfriend, man.

Yeah, I would tell you like she's like she's going to all that trouble of making that food and i know you're sort of thinking you don't want to offend her she likes doing however just tell her man also there's an element of like being earnest with her because just knowing how katherine would be with that sort of thing is that she'd, she'd, she'd be happy to know that you're enjoying that food. Right. And that you, she's done something that you're enjoying. And for you to then not be earnest and not be like to basic first,

Oh God, did you enjoy that? Knock it. I made you like, you know, how was it? And then you're like, Oh yeah,

it was great. And you're sort of like, well, no, actually, you know, essentially, I think actually saying to her,

like, you know, take a break, chill out. I'm just going to be eating shit while you're away. I think you've got to come to a compromise in this, because I suspect, I obviously seem like a funny guy, and I don't, by the way, the way I just said that, I don't think you're a bad person at all, and I'm not judging you in the slightest.

I just think you should tell your girlfriend, and I imagine the reason you're not telling her is because she'll go, I don't want you eating takeaways the whole time that i'm away yeah because she's concerned about you do you know what i mean so i think you need to find a compromise which is if she enjoys doing the meals because she's like happy that you're eating healthfully you go like if she's away for four days you go two days meals two days takeaway or something you know come to a thing and you will enjoy those takeaways more i think as a result of that is my gut feeling on it i mean and and it will help you i know i'm sounding a bit worthy here but i just think it feels it feels a bit off to be like you're just throwing away food

that's been made for you especially in the world that we live in right now yeah oh yeah 100 percent um okay so anyway greasy ape do not feel bad about eating takeaways. In fact, do not even feel bad about not telling your girlfriend, but you probably should tell her, would be my advice. Keep it real, dude. Okay. You've got something about you, and I like it. Okay. This email's from The Springbok.

Wow. Mm-hmm. I think we've had a Springbok before, I think. I believe so. I mean, there's only a finite amount of animals, aren't there? And people are probably choosing animals that you think we've had a spring bot before, I think. I believe so. I mean, there's only a finite amount of animals, aren't there? And people are probably choosing animals that you think we've heard of because every time we haven't heard of it, we make a big fucking deal about it.

Okay. Hey, Wolf, Owl and Swan. I hope you guys are good. Please can this be anonymous? So I have a problem that I need help with and you guys give such great advice, I thought I'd email in. We're helping a mate get on their feet as they've just moved to England. We've known each other for years and they're one of my best friends.

This person has been extremely inconsiderate since living with us and we've had enough they've treated our house as if it's theirs making a huge mess in the process we even started watching the worst roommate ever on netflix for them to take the hint we've also had numerous conversations about them needing to be more considerate and helping around the house but nothing has changed they've been looking at flats but have declined but have been declined left right and center this person isn't the most dapper of characters and doesn't shout oh god and doesn't shower for days at a time this is probably the result they're not getting the flats they've applied for perhaps so my question is this how do i tell this person to clean up and put some effort into their parents without being a dick and losing a friend although

i'm at the point where i don't care about losing the friendship and i don't really want to be associated with this person anymore fucking hell your help would be most appreciated uh loving the podcast do you to the max the springbok yeah springbok um firstly i mean it feels like the you know the the the horse has bolted uh sometime because you're you're i think you're it's almost you're sort of you're too far through now to sort of pass the point of no return yeah i mean i think you're too far through now. Past the point of no return. Yeah. I mean, I think you've got to deal with these things. There's a real fine line of the moment you deal with them.

And I think you've now got to a point where, certainly the short-term version of the friendship is almost unsalvable. I think actually sort of certainly getting them out as soon as possible. But I think having that real sort of heart-to-heart with them and actually sort of talking to them out as soon as possible but i think like having that real sort of heart to heart with them and actually sort of talking to them about themselves because you know the things you're talking about usually are sort of linked to sort of some sort of mental health issue the

sort of you know lack of cleaning and the sort of i do think when i look at how like you know not with sort of hygiene but like you know if if i'm feeling a bit down i feel like sort of shitty about myself like the way i'll sort of like my surroundings will become sort of messier my you know i won't take as much effort or as much pride in how i'm sort of looking or feeling about myself so i think it's obviously sort of navigating that in the in the sort of right way but also then there's a point of like, I think when, you know, when people sort of get into the situation that this person has,

it's almost sort of a selfish sort of attitude. And I think they almost sort of find it sort of a place where they feel sort of solitary. So I don't know, their lack of respect for themselves sort of then becomes a respect that they show to others. I weirdly like, it wasn't similar to this, but I remember years and years and years ago,

moving in with, me and my mate were going to get a house and rent a house together. And he was like, oh yeah, there's this woman I know, let's get a free bed and she's going to move in with us. And then I moved in and literally within a week, they're like, oh, actually like we're a couple um and so then essentially i was a guy in his mid-20s early mid-20s living with a couple um they obviously wanted you out almost immediately right yeah they obviously wanted you out yeah yeah

of course they did yeah because i was yeah i was literally like yeah i was going out and sort of getting rejected it's crying myself to sleep watching watching old reruns of Dawson's Creek or The A-Team. Having sex, worrying that you're quietly masturbating next door. But the thing with it was, I genuinely started, like, living with a couple, I found really, really like, I guess, it made me feel more of a loser. Like when I was first moving in with my pal it was like

we were both a pair of losers and it was going to be this sort of lads pad and we'd both be going out and getting rejected

by women and both sort of laughing and joking about it and all of a sudden he had a girlfriend and it was like he was

he sort of their lives they'd have other couples over and I'd just be this fucking I could constantly felt like whenever I'd come back into fucking all my and i could constantly felt like

whenever i'd sort of come back into my own house and go i'm just gonna grab something to eat or in the end i'd just get pizza or whatever because i'd feel like sort of by the third wheel or the sort of fucking you know just just out of place and um in the end it sort of i it was a different i ended up just saying to them i think think I, you know, I need to, and sadly actually, because they're good people and I don't really have much to do with them now because of that.

And I think we all let it just fucking slide and the relationship became untouchable. So my point would be, I think you need to, for the health of your relationship and for your own mental health,

I think get them out of your house as harsh as that sounds. But also I think you need to sort of speak to them about where they're at and try and do that in the most sympathetic manner i think that tom the point that you made there tom about it being mental health related is such a good one because i do think like i find like tom said at my lowest points i stop caring about how i look i don't consciously think that but i just you just stop you stop caring about those

sort of things do you mean and I wonder if that's what this there's two I mean it's two things it might not be that it might just be that this is the way that this person is um I think that the right thing to do is to have the conversation with them and uh and also I think look it sounds like it's unbearable having them in your flat and I know you might feel guilty, although it sounds like you've kind of got beyond that point and you're getting a bit pissed off about it. But I think that one, the right thing to

do is have a chat with them about their kind of behaviour and how they're living and stuff like that because they need to sort that out really or it'll be a benefit to them to sort it out. So giving them that advice really or it'll be it'll be a benefit to them to sort it out so giving them that advice and sort of talking to them about it they'll either take on board or they won't but at least you've done it do you mean and then i think you need to think about giving them a deadline to

move out i think that's a reasonable thing to do however long you want to make that but even if it does feel like a little bit of a way away at least you know that's the that's that you're coming to and that everybody's of that understanding because i just don't you know it sounds completely untenable this situation so um yeah it's a tricky one man it's a really hard one but it always happens whenever i've had any situation where i've lived with friends or moved in with someone or someone stayed at mine or whatever whatever it just almost always ends badly because you just can't you can't keep up like airs and pretenses and shit like that and then it ends up just being somebody gets annoyed and it ends up like you fucking fall out about the worst thing like somebody leaves crumbs in the margarine or something that could

be the thing that we have arguments about it in my house about me at the moment well i mean sometimes lisa will look at me and i know that she's annoyed with me for something i can't even i haven't even got a perception of that oh mate and it will be the way that i've left my shoes somewhere or something like that or something and i'm not that makes it sound like she's in she's like being uh hot on it she's not at all she's a normal decent tidy human being this is the thing i'm just a fucking idiot it's just it's fucking hard to live with anyone in the world anyway right yeah the reason marriage and like being you know or love works is because you love that person and one way or another or another, you navigate your way around that,

as you will, because there's feelings there, right? There's no way in the world when you're living with someone that you like as a friend, or that fucking varnish very quickly fades, because there isn't the fucking, the side of it, which is, you know, genuine, you know, love, or you don't, there's not the other bits to it. Like, I can tell you now, I, up until I met Catherine, I lived with so many different people, so many different friends, I lived in so many different cities,

you know, and all of them pretty much ended up with people falling out, or people not getting on. There's not really many now that I can think of, you know, there's, there's a few where now I'm back in touch with them when we get on but for the most part they're fucking really difficult like yeah great times you had laughs but because you everyone's fucking different man yeah it's i think we'd struggle to live together yeah of course we would i think i think you know for the first week it would be absolutely glorious we've been having such a great time and then eventually one of us would get fucking scurvy or something like that or no but also one of us because we i guarantee the first week we live together it'd be like oh my god this is fucking great we can just fucking live how we like right within a week of that one of us would be going well actually i

really miss sanitary living i like you know it's like we're eating fucking takeaways every night yeah i'd like to have a day where i haven't acquired a new disease that hasn't existed since medieval times do you know what i mean uh so uh springbok it's a very difficult situation but good luck to you man um take action and you will you will reap the rewards. I want you to feel mine and Romesh's hands in both of your hands and just both of us looking you in the eyes and saying, yeah, you've done a noble thing

that has become quite soured, but always remember the nobility in whence this started. Okay. If you can sort of decipher that, then feel free to use that and apply it to your situation. Thank you for your email. Right, Tomo. It's about that time, my G.

Yo. It's a sunny day outside. Do your thing and bring us some of your sunshine, please, mate. Yo, I want to shout out to anyone at the moment in life when you are,

maybe you're traveling around, maybe you're navigating the universe. Maybe you are trying to find something that you have been longing for. Maybe you're sitting on a beach in a really hot country and you've got a sabre girl in your hand and you're thinking, man, it still doesn't feel right or maybe you're sitting in like the mountaintops of switzerland or the you know some other mountaintops and you've got like a really nice like warm hot chocolate with marshmallows

and all the works on and you sip a something away and you're thinking god damn this doesn't feel right maybe you're looking too hard because actually the truth of the matter is you can go anywhere in the world right you could live anywhere in the world you can be friends with anyone but a true method of settling and finding you is knowing the home is where the heart is and you'll only ever feel comfortable and relaxed and at home when you feel comfortable, relaxed in yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back. Say, hey, buddy, you're my best friend.

And you know what? We got this. That's really nice. Really good discovery of what your point was as you were talking. Beautiful. Really good discovery of what your point was as you were talking. Beautiful.

Guys, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. It's, oh, shit. You know what we've got to do? We should have done this right at the beginning. Sorry about last week, guys. Do you know what it was? It was both of our wives. But mine and Romesh's wives have back-to-back birthdays, which is weird weird a day after

each other so uh so it meant that neither of us have actually played this podcast is we're not one of these slick people who every every week go that's podcast time we for some for some reason over the for over a year tom and i have organized when to do this podcast on an ad hoc basis it's insane as if we're surprised that we've got to do the podcast on an ad hoc basis it's insane as if we're surprised that we've got to do the podcast again as if that's the thing that's popped up in the diary last minute rather than just going this is our fixed time to do it no no no no what we do is every week tom and i will sign off we'll go after we've stopped recording i'll go all right man love you mate take care see you later and then a few days later one of us will text the

other one going oh we should record the next episode of the podcast, shouldn't we? What my favourite thing about last week's was both of us texting with the vague idea that we might record the podcast on our wife's birthdays. I was like,

oh, yeah, maybe actually I will be able to do it on that evening and then go, no, no, no, I won't be able to do that. So, yeah. Do you know what? I didn't even, I'm sure Lisa would have been fine about it,

but it's just taking an hour and a half out of her birthday to go i'm just yeah i haven't managed to organize this when you've been at work for fucking most of that day and then you come back and you're like oh wow birthday meal but i've got to go do the podcast it's not the one or like i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna wake up at like 4 30 on the morning of your breakfast of your breakfast of your birthday this. This is baby brain creeping in. So apologies, guys. Hello, I'm just doing the podcast. You all right? Yeah.

Do you want to say hello to Tom? Yeah. You know how much Tom loves you. Yeah. You won't be able to hear him. Oh, mate, looking very swaggy. Looking very cool. He's actually looking very swaggy.

Thank you. How's life treating you? How's life treating you, Tom says? Good. Yeah, what are you up to today? Have you enjoyed the rugby? You went to the rugby yesterday, haven't you? Yeah.

He's going to pick up a rugby fan. I went to the rugby yesterday. He got his photo taken with someone. Oh, really? Yeah. Nick Davis. Who's Nick Davis? Plays for the Harlequins.

Cool surname. Yeah. Well, it's David. You misheard. Yeah, it would have been a cool surname. All it's david you misheard but yeah it would have been a cool surname all right we're gonna play badminton later aren't we yeah all right well listen i've got to finish off because this is all gonna go on the podcast now so great okay cool i'll see you later what i like is i felt like being you were uh like in spain and i was sort of like

you're introducing me to your new pen friend i'm sorry about that you know i'm sorry about that but i just he likes you so i thought he. He's so cool, isn't he? Good looking kid as well, man. He's a legend. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah. Thank God for Lisa's jeans. Um, all right. My G, my lover. I love you, baby.

Love you too, mate. Take care. Bye bye guys. Keep it real. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

We'd love to hear from you. Thank you.