Wolf and Owl - Ep 68: Sandwich Joy & Stolen Sauces

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

We’re talking…. celebrating sandwiches, misplaced S’s, best-before dates, stolen hot sauce, hide and seek, learning to sing, pretending to sing, watching the boxing and an unfortunate vegan slip-up. Then we answer a couple of email questions on advice about running a pub and holidaying alone after a recent break-up. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler.

Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all you hear is a huff a puff and a expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog hello everybody and welcome to the wolf and owl podcast uh i'm roma schranger nathan the owl uh i am tom davis the wolf and i hope your ears like podcasts because you're about to listen to

one yeah if you like podcasts that are about nothing congratulations you've just found one you just unpacked one so put your lips around this crust crispy lovely no it's such a shame you accidentally said crust there when you eat a sandwich um what's what goes through your mind what goes through my mind yeah like do you ever like just eye up a little bit and just like do you know uh do you know the end of kill bill yeah yeah uh kill bill too where um he's having the chat with her yeah she finds him and he's having a chat with her and he's making a sandwich yeah right i fucking love that right you know because because because i think in in my experience of making sandwiches right has always been find whatever shit happens to be

in the fridge chuck it in a thing and eat it right boring bread a little bit of lame kind of i don't even put salad in there some corn ham or some shit like that you just throw it in a bit of mustard? If there's mustard about, often you don't bother. You just fucking dry that. Fuck it, Mel. Bare packet. You actually... Listen, I...

You're the only person who made me sad about talking about sandwiches. Listen, don't fucking jump on somebody that's opening up to you. I'm identifying this as a problem. Well, that's a problem, but... Yeah, yeah, okay. So I'm saying to you, do you know what I'm upset about? I'm telling you I'm upset about how I've lived

with sandwiches. Don't fucking pile in on it. No, but I'm a fucking little bully. No, but you're like, you're basically like, you're talking about sort of, right, sandwiches are a blessing on humanity.

They have to be treated as such. Yes, that's what I'm saying. We're agreeing. Don't fucking, I'm literally i've prostrated myself on the ground in front of you and you're fucking giving me a shoo-in right i'm saying to you my attitude towards sandwiches has been bad right and then why do you think that is just you just don't respect them or it's because my attitude to sandwiches

has always been uh functional you know like this is a thing that you sort of get when you're completely out of options. When actually, it turns out, and Kill Bill kind of cemented this for me, a sandwich is something to be celebrated. Adored. You basically, you pre-plan that shit. You look at what's in your fridge.

You think about what you're going to put together. You think about the order of the layers. Right, you have to. You think about making, right? to put together. You think about the order of the layers. Right, you have to. You think about making, right? Okay, so now what I'm saying to you is, now I respect the sandwich for what it should be. And I didn't before. And that's partly because in America,

you get delis and shit like that. They do that stuff, they do it properly. Do you know what I mean? But you can do that. You've got that in you. I know, but what I'm saying is culturally, what has been our history in this country of sandwiches? You go to some shop, right, and they've got like,

you look at the selection, it's like ham, cheese, maybe you've got a cheddar and pickle, right? That's what, we've been trained to disrespect the sandwich as a thing. Do you know one of my ambitions in life? One of your ambitions in life one of your ambitions in life or something you think you just thought of just now just be honest with me and tell me what it is success for me won't be a swimming pool or a really really fast cool car it'll be when i have my own sandwich fridge like a sap like basically a fridge that just has all

different sorts of fillings in and i can go in there whenever i want and just have like any sandwich i want basically i want like my own version of Subways in my fridge. Yeah. Two things I've discovered there. One, you don't understand about items being perishable. And two, you call it Subways. It's not Subways. It's Subways.

Subway. Well, Subways, Subway. It's an S, mate, between friends. I'm not going to have an argument about it. I'm just telling you it's Subway. It's an S, mate, between friends. I'm not going to have an argument about it. I'm just telling you it's Subway. I always say Subway's. It's like you don't call it McDonald's, do you? No, because it's not McDonald's.

It's McDonald's. But wait, like, if I was to turn around and say, oh, I'm going to go and see the Ranganathans. Yeah, what about that? Well, I wouldn't say the Ranganathan. Well, how many fucking Subways are you visiting? No, but it's a company. What do you do? You get your bread from one, and then you go, oh, no, don't worry about it. at Nathan. Well, how many fucking subways are you visiting? No, but it's a company.

What do you do? You get your bread from one, and then you go, oh, no, don't worry about a salad, mate. Go through them all then, right? What do you mean? McDonald's, Gregg's, right? All got an S on the end. Yeah, because that's what they're fucking called. Gregg's is not called Greg.

It doesn't say Greg on the door. What I'm saying to you, right? What the fuck are you talking about right let's just play this right listen can I tell you something I can't believe I'm doing this now if you're going to have this discussion at least select the correct weaponry Tesco's

ok exactly I'm giving you the fucking argument because you can't fucking put it together yourself right here we go right i come up to you right you're sitting at your desk we're both working for a medium level uh like computing firm or sort of i imagine that's where we'd have ended up have we not done that right i'm basically you hear me laughing with a couple of other people at the back of the office. You're just finishing up your work. I just walk over and go, you all right, Romesh?

Oh, hi. All right, mate. Do you fancy going for a bit of lunch? What, me and you together? Yeah, if you fancy it. I'm just going to go to Subways, right? You'd be like, oh, fucking hell, that sounds great. We'd get up. We'd walk through.

Everyone else in the office is like, oh, my fucking god. Romesh is going to lunch with Big Tom right I know that you think you're doing a joke right and I know you are doing a joke but the mask slips a little bit when you do these bits just so you know you sort of

you I feel like Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects when he's just hanging on to the character he's created. Kaiser Sosa, he's just slipping out. You present as a humble man. And then every now and again you do these bits masquerading as jokes. And then I realise what you actually think of yourself.

I'm the king of the office. Yeah. But I'd say, do you want to go to Subways? I wouldn't go. Do you want to go Subway? What? Why do you take so long

to make a simple... What you're saying to me is you say Subways. That's all you've got to say. You have to do an example where we're working in a fucking mid-tier computer company. Also, sandwich-wise,

you know the thing I'm really going to push myself this summer to do is really up my sandwich game now we're talking about it. Like maybe do some little videos and shit. Yeah, please. Yeah, yeah. I would love you to do that just yeah but can i tell you something my problem with sandwich like sandwich construction on the level

of kill bill yeah is that it's so difficult to stay on top of those best before dates and actually have a regular because those things like like salad items i i have dabbled in the world of salads yeah yeah the problem is you can't it's very expensive to keep a running bank of salad stuff in your fridge especially if you're gonna have all different lettuces if you like a little bit or so if you like a little crunch of your iceberg yeah correct yeah it's really good especially yeah and the number of times i've come to a condiment and discovered that i've neglected it in a yes that is i think that's the moment in sandwich making that i can actually destroy a sandwich like if you've built the sandwich

perfectly right you've got yourself a little bit of crispy chicken maybe that you've even you know crisped up yourself a little cajun spice on that okay you've got yourself a little bit of turkey maybe a little bit of crunchy iceberg lettuce so you're going double bird on that turkey and chicken yeah yeah then you've got your rye bread all buttered up nice with a bit of Kerrygold you've got yourself a little bit of cheese

a little bit of duck complete the trio a little bit of gouda and then you go and maybe you've got some rib man sauce that you've been dreaming of and you're going to drizzle that shit all over it, and it's not in date. Or someone's finished it off.

That's happened to me before. That doesn't happen to me. You know, so this is something that happens to me. You know our friend the Ribman? Love him. Shout out to the Ribman. Shout out to the Ribman. I had a barbecue during lockdown, right?

Not during lockdown. You know, we could see people again outside. Yeah. What do you think it says about our friendship this is the first time I'm hearing about this I love you so much and I had the red man kindly sent me some of his sauces

two bottles of his sauces got stolen from my house what? it was only neighbours and local friends. Two bottles of his sauce got taken. What? From people that you'd

invited to the barbecue? Yeah, at the house. It was almost someone came into my house and stole fucking something. I literally, at the end, I turned around

and I was going for, just doing an itinerary check because everything was going back in the fridge, like Noah's Ark. Can I just, prayers and thoughts to Kat. Anyway, go on. I was like can i just prayers and thoughts to cat anyway go on i was like cat and she was like yeah and i'm like do you know where these rib band sources are but she was like what i was

like you know the ones we've got said the special ones no let me let me just stop you there she'll have been sat somewhere just thinking fucking hell he was doing his usual holding court again telling the same fucking anecdotes I've heard a million times. Just gone to another room to have a break from it. Cut! Where are these sources? So I sprint outside as quickly as I can. Fucking hell.

I sprint outside. I do a whole sweep of the garden. Can't find them. Of course you do. I thought maybe they'd fallen behind a bush or a flower, or maybe even someone had had them on the uh show's lunch and dropped them um nothing so someone's basically taking them like they light them so i mean it's incredible was there booze at this barbecue yeah yeah yeah that's what's happened it's like somebody's got

drunk they've enjoyed this hot sauce it happens you you have a few drinks i actually think those people are scandalous scumbags though and like yeah yeah. If you'd rather invite burglars to your house than me. Look, you know, you live too far away. And I know I'd have invited you. Oh, you're such a drag having to travel that way. Would there be vegan stuff there? Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. I should drive two hours to not have food at your fucking

barbecue all the kids running out and go dad dad have you had any of these hot dogs no listen can i just tell you something i don't mind you doing a dick impression of me what i do resent is making my children sound like the fucking famous five all right that's all kids voices right yeah right so i actually cat and cat to stop me i was gonna slyly get away of going around to all my neighbor's houses and like anyone who'd been at the barbecue and then sort of somehow looking through their fridge to see if they're taking the hot sauce um and then what would you have done if you'd have found the hot sauce probably you know what i've done is oh does anyone want to order some pizza um and then uh like wait you know someone basically ask that question at least one person at someone's house will say yes right get dominoes ordered in that's much absolutely

not true if somebody came to my house unannounced all right first of all that's a hate crime right and then came in and said, shall we order pizza? Okay. What the fuck? What the fuck are you talking about? Do you know how many times I have sat on my sofa and thought if anyone like from,

that I know remotely popped around now, right, knocked on my door, said, yeah, Tom, how you doing?

I said, I'll pop in, come in, like Peter. Right, and they went, cool, I'll get some pizza.

I don't think there's a worldwide thing. Yeah, sure, sure. At what point in your life are you going to accept that just because you want something, it doesn't mean everybody else in the world does? Right.

Right? Because the other thing is, right, what you're ignoring there when you say that is the idea that you can order pizza when you don't have someone around. No. If I say every night of the week to Catherine, I'll get Domino's. She'll say, oh, no. that is the idea that you can order pizza when you don't have someone around if i if if you turn up at my house and you went should we order pizza i wouldn't offer thank you finally somebody's given us the opportunity to order pizza oh wow i'd much rather prefer to eat pizza with an uninvited guest

this outstayed is welcome they needed it on my own with people I actually love. Right. Shall I go back to the plan? Yeah, go on. Right, so I'm now inside the fucking Death Star, right? Let's role-play this, right? So I'm at the door. And how soon... So this is straight

away, right? So how long are... Yeah, two days. I'll give it two days to see if anyone's going to bring it back. Alright, fine, fine, fine. Hi, Mitch. How are you, mate? You alright? Oh, yeah. Hi, Tom. way right yeah two days i'll give it two days to see if anyone's gonna bring it back all right fine fine fine hi mitch how are you mate you all right oh yeah hi tom um i bet i was gonna say that that was that was great the other day thanks a lot oh you enjoyed the barbecue did you yeah loved it man what's your favorite i think you're right i think you're right um i didn't i didn't realize you weren't actually friends with romesh i'd sort of from this is the podcast i'd assume they'd be the sort of oh he couldn't make it he's very fussy about it i think he he was a sports event with

someone he uh someone who's got a bigger status than me like uh prince william or such um well what can i do you for mate uh any chance of popping in oh um no it's just you came around to mine the other day for the barbecue so i thought i'd just pop around and just get in i'm just doing a so yeah sure but the reason we sort of the reason we came day for the barbecue so i thought i'd just pop around and just get in i'm just doing a so yeah sure but the reason we that sort of the reason we came around for the barbecue is because you you got in touch and said you want to come around for no i'm just doing a survey to see how what you liked about the barbecue what you didn't like about it oh right okay well what was your favorite bit about the barbecue uh it's nice to see kat again yeah yeah she's i'm like that dad if you've been creepy She's lovely isn't she Funny girl

Funny funny girl There's quite a few questions actually It'd be probably better if we sit down Yeah sure Hello everyone else Who lives in the house Hi guys I don't know what Mitch's set up is Mind if I take a seat Mitch

Well you are sat down already So I guess not Okay Mitch Question number two Mind if I take a seat, Mitch? Well, you are sat down already, so I guess not. Okay, Mitch, question number two. Did you enjoy my garden furniture? Sorry, why are you doing this survey? Just if I'm going to do another barbecue, I want to know if I can make it better or worse.

Okay. Actually, look at this. I've got about 30 questions here. Should we order some pizza? Would anyone want some pizza? I don't think so why don't we just rattle through the questions and i mean yeah i'm quite hungry actually because i've already done six houses before this one um i've got dominoes here i can just order it quickly yeah sure but i mean you only live two doors down so maybe sort of order

the dominoes to go there i'm actually thinking about it it's just because order it. No, it's just because... I will order it for my house. I haven't got any hot sauce at my house now. Have you got any hot sauce here? No, we're not really a hot sauce. Mind if I check? Just to see if you're lying or not. Sorry? What? See if I'm lying.

Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, can I just stop you there? If you're going to go to that point, you might as well knock on the door and go, I think you've stolen my hot sauce. Can I check your fridge? No. Once I'm inside, I've got an easier way of, even if I'm leaving,

I can slowly open the fridge as I'm walking out. Tom, Tom, opening somebody's fridge. Yeah. Okay, I'd rather you open my underwear drawer than open my fridge. Romesh, what you've got to remember is... That is a very private sanctum open my fridge. Romesh, what you've got to remember. That is a very private sanctum, the fridge.

The rib man turned round and sent me some sauces. He picked me and you out. He's like, oh, look, these are friends of mine. Someone took that. It made my blood boil every night when I lay in bed just thinking of someone just laughing to themselves, lapping up hot sauce. Oh, fuck.

You know, I just... By the way, let me be absolutely crystal clear because I'm sort of being quite facetious for my own amusement. I do totally agree with you. I think it's unacceptable what's happened to you. I just don't think you can open someone's fridge, man. And can I tell you something?

Honestly, if somebody comes to my house and opens my fridge, apropos of nothing nothing right, without being directly asked to check in the fridge for what milk we've got who goes round and says can you see what milk we've got, that's a really boring that's like someone works at your house

no, it's like if somebody's having a coffee at my house we've got like two milks I don't know what the what have you got, what have you got you're busting an almond and an oat no i'm just a cigar i'm gonna throw it out there almond milk with coffee is incredible yeah it is good i i have almond milk the kids have regular old school milk for their bones and shit yeah analog yeah um so like you know i don't know what the fucking levels of that morally depraved milk is do you know what i mean so sometimes if i go i might go i don't know what the fucking levels of that morally depraved milk is. Do you know what I mean? So sometimes if I go,

I might go, I don't know, have a look, see what we've got. Unless I've asked you to do that and you open the fridge to have a look, you're never coming around again. Ever. So when you were younger,

that's a red card. So if you were in someone's house when you were younger, right? And it was like, yeah, when everyone, we all live for our parents and stuff. We were like in our late teens.

Yeah. Right. You never like went around and looked in people's fridge then? No. Really? I would never. Actually, that makes me sad about your... It makes me sad that that's something that you even remember doing.

That's what makes me sad. I always did it. That was one of my favourite bits about going round someone new's house. Did you ever notice that you stopped getting invited round? Can I have some friends round? There's obviously not that fucking weirdo that looks in our fridge no just you go

just to see if anyone had any likes oh we've got the yoghurts fuck off if one of my kids mates did that I swear man that's dumb I'm sorry I actually feel quite strongly about this

if one of my kids mates just fucking opened the fridge door, I wouldn't say anything at the time. I'd go, hello, mate, what are you up to? You're looking for something? Can I help you? Yeah, just seeing if you've got any yoghurts. No, we don't have yoghurts, so you can just ask next time. I say next time.

You might as well say goodbye to Theo on your way out. Forever. Would you really? Mate, a kid coming to your house and opening your fridge door. Fuck off. Wouldn't you just think, oh, he's quite an inquisitive little soul. No, I think that kid has not been brought up properly. You don't look in other people's

fridges. Some part of me thinks... By the way, this brings me on to another thing, right? Our kids have their mates around all the time. I don't know how you feel about this when your little one's old enough to have friends around. Yeah. They sort of play hide and seek.

Yeah. The other day, one of the kids I had around was in our bedroom. Were you there? Yeah. I just walked upstairs to get something. There's a fucking kid crouched behind the bed. What did you say? I just went, oh, hello.

And they went, oh, don't tell him I'm here. And then I went, okay. And then I pointed out where they were. And then I said to my son, but I was actually talking to them, mate, if we can just sort of keep the games out of mum and dad's room if that's okay awful that's unacceptable right yeah that is that's i'd say that's worse than opening a fridge for a yogurt or like an ice cold yeah i'd say they're on a level they're on a level you've got to think like that kid wants to win hide and seek so much right he's looking around for someone to hide and he sees like the fucking inner sanctum of the Ranganathan household, right?

And he fucking goes, I want to go in there and fucking do it. No one will ever find me. No one would be brave enough. He's gone behind enemy lines. And that's also, he's not even hid in your wardrobe. He's just hid behind your bed. I know. So he knows that no one's going to think he's even in there.

Yeah. I found it shocking. You should have taken his hand and gone, look, fair enough, you shouldn't be in there, but mate, hide-and-seek wise, I don't fucking respect what you've done here. Well, I didn't do that. I just did the typical British thing of,

oh, hello, you're in our bedroom. Oh, that's an interesting... And then you went down. That's an interesting choice. Did you shout at him afterwards, like your son? No, but afterwards, like Lisa said, oh, he's a nice boy, wasn't he? And I went, no, he fucking wasn't.

How many of them played hide-and-seek? Well, Charlie and Alex normally, whenever one of them's got a mate around, it's normally both of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so Hold Up said there was only one kid from, who wasn't around anything then? Yeah.

Oh, wow. Fucking hell, wow. Why is that? Well, no, no no I thought it was like four or five kids out there and he's just but I mean

if he's got your whole I mean fucking talking what 15 16 rooms he's got to hide in his little house so

such a prick how have you been anyway Tomo I'm good man I'm good I'm very well brother do you know I've become upset have you did anyway, Tomo? I'm good, man. I'm good. I'm very well, brother. Do you know what? I've become upset.

Did you watch Anyone Can Sing on Sky? Anyone Can Sing? No, I don't think so. Oh, my God, man. What is it? It's about six people, just normal people, Ramesh, right? Just normal fucking people who can't sing,

and basically they go to get taught how to sing opera. It's a real feast of feel good. Who's on the show? It's celebs. No, no, no. Oh, okay. Cool, cool, cool. I wouldn't have watched it if it had been celebs. What I liked is these people were...

There was no endeavour in this for public celebration apart from the fact they just wanted to be able to do their washing up and sing, or be at a wedding and be able to sing, and not people just stare at them and cynically go, oh, God, that person. And what you realise, mate, is actually, spoiler alert, and this is what I took away from it,

it's not about how good you can sing, it's have you got the confidence and can you enjoy singing yeah I don't think that's a good message what? when you say sing at a wedding what do you mean as a paid entertainer no no no you know when you're in the congregation and everyone's singing

oh right that's sweet I always feel a little bit like my voice is deep I just mime what? I don't sing in those situations But yeah, that's nice. I always feel a little bit like, oh God, my voice is deep. And it's a bit quite basic. I just mime. What? I don't sing in those situations. I just mouth the words.

That is literally like, that's quite disrespectful, actually. Why? You should be really singing with all your heart. I can't sing. I don't want to ruin a nice sort of moment. Then get some lessons. And then like these people. Or just mime and it's not affecting my life in any way. Or get lessons lessons and then like these people. Or just mime

and it's not affecting my life in any way. No, but then, or get lessons and then everyone, like, because I'll tell you what, people would have noticed that and gone,

you know, it's Romesh Ranganathan not singing. Just fucking mime in the words. Yeah. Imagine if everyone did what you're doing. As things that people say

about me behind my back go, I can live with that, to be honest. No, yeah, but. Romesh, he mimes in church at weddings. Imagine if everyone did what you did. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked

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Order up for Rebelsis. Yeah, I do agree. The whole conversation would just be there. You'd be like, the happiest day of your life, going, oh my God, I love you. Right? And then everyone starts singing, I don't know what they sing at weddings, like, I had a hammer, a hammer in the morning,

a hammer in the evening. So you just naturally start doing the gestures there. So that's what you would do at a wedding, is it? You'd actually do the actions. Yeah. Would it? Yeah yeah like it's fucking agadoo all over this man but if everyone was like you right yeah they'd sit there there'd be an almost silence and then all you'd see is people going no I agree

I agree I totally agree with you it's a selfish in that regard it's a bad thing to do because I'm basically freeloading off the other people you're just hoping everyone else has got a little bit of heart and soul no you're right but I can't sing it doesn't come from a good place

this is the thing you've got to watch this show and then next week you'll come on here and you'll go, oh, mate, I can actually sing. It's about... No, but you can't... No, but hold on. That's what you just said. You said it isn't about being able to sing.

Do you think everyone else in that congregation... Look around. Look at everyone else in our imaginary congregation. Half of them can't sing. But you know what they're doing? It's they're finding celebration in the singing. Now I get that. And you know what?

If there's a sea of voices, you have to put a pinprick. The only thing you have to worry about is if everyone else stops and you're the only one who carries on. Otherwise... It would be a very unique set of circumstances to get me into that position.

What am I doing there? We get to the end of the song, the words of which are in front of you and for some reason I'm enjoying it so much I do an encore what I'm saying to you right

is next time you're at a wedding right I just want you to forget everything that else is happening right and just fucking reach look at the

like ceiling wherever you're at and just go I'm going to hit that fucking ceiling with every one of these notes and just enjoy it do you know what Tom genuinely the next time I'm going to hit that fucking ceiling with every one of these notes and just enjoy it.

Do you know what, Tom? Genuinely, the next time I'm at one of those things, I will sing because of you. So thank you. See? I actually feel like one of the mentors on that show now. And do any of them think they can't sing? I know that it's a bit Gokwani what you're talking about,

which is it's not about actually ability. It's about having confidence, et cetera. But are there any of them that are like actually managed to sort of acquire some level of competence that they didn't know they had? Yeah.

All of them, that's the one thing they all acquire confidence. The actual, the most, the most touching one is there's a guy on there who'd had like a brain tumour.

And from there, he'd like got a Tourette's and a stutter and he basically he'd never been able to talk like since him and his husband he found it hard every time he tried to communicate how much he loved him he you know he was conscious of his Tourette's and conscious of his stutter and actually when he sang he didn't his Tourette's and stutter didn't play up because obviously it's a different part of your brain that you're using. So that bit was very, very touching. And his journey was incredible.

But that's the thing. It's like I found all of them, I found they all got a bit of confidence. They all took away something. And it's very sad. There was a woman on there who'd been told as a kid she couldn't sing, so she'd never wanted to sing. And actually what you realise is just being able to just – and I actually encourage everyone who's listening to this at some point today maybe in your shower or

when you're making a sandwich or you know maybe you're walking down the street and you look around there's not too many people just let out a rip of like i don't know a couple of bars of adele or something i guarantee you'll feel better okay well that's a nice little life lesson there thank you very much bought into the are we sponsored by that show just out of interest you haven't told me

no no I just really enjoyed it alright great that's good that's good what have you been up to my dear friend well I'm currently

I'm talking to you from I'm very tired today I can tell you you've got that tired Rom look about you but yeah you look nice though

maybe we shouldn't put the video clip up this week. But I'm on tour in Birmingham at the moment, and I don't ever sleep when I'm away from my beloved family. So, yeah, I'm struggling a bit with that. But I went to watch Tyson Fury take on Dillian White. Mate, I've been excited to talk to you. Because me and Catherine noticed you in the crowd.

Yeah, you texted me. Yeah, I was so excited to talk to you because me and Catherine noticed you in the crowd Yeah, you texted me Yeah, I was so excited to see you there Does it sound like you were excited from the text? It's almost like it was muggy that you'd seen me there No, no, no Look mate, if I didn't have a very small child I'd have been there with you I'd have been all over it like jam on a sweet, sweet piece of toast

But yeah, no, it was a nice moment to see you just sitting there really enjoying yourself. We did that thing. It's so funny, right? In the time I've known you, me and you on TV is what we do, right? It's so hilarious that I went, is that Romesh? That's Romesh in the crowd, right? Catherine was like, it is Rom do, right? It's so hilarious that I went, is that Romesh? That's Romesh in the crowd.

Catherine was like, it is Romesh, right? We paused the TV like you were someone who's never been on TV. We'd seen your face at the FA Cup final. I was like, that is him. That's definitely him. And Catherine was like, I'm not sure. And I went, no, that is him, definitely.

I know that jacket anyway. Oh then wow wow you know you love doing this thing where you suggest that i wear the same shit all the time i'm just saying it's a nice jacket that grey jacket um so yeah no it's nice man it's a nice moment to How was it? How was the atmosphere? Well, we were... Do you want to say who you were with? Alan Davis sorted me out of the ticket. He's mates with Frank Warren. That's a weird friendship.

Frank Warren's a massive gooner. So it's like... So anyway, Alan sorted out the ticket and I ended up being a four of me, Alan Davis, Harry Hill, and Tim Byrne. Wow, that is literally like a comedy, sort of, so many different vibes there. Harry's a legend, right, as well, by the way.

Harry Hill is one of my favourite people in the world. I love him, man. I'm a massive fan of Harry as a comedian as a stand up but I'd like to be saying he's actually funnier even funnier in person

mate he's unreal he's just built to be a comedian he's like he's insane yeah it's a joy to be around I love the guy

so I've been to boxing a few times now mainly through doing Robin Romesh when we did the Anthony Joshua shows and stuff like that. I just think men of a certain age going to watch the boxing and whatever substances they're ingesting, it's a bad combination, man.

I mean, it is. The first thing, just related to Harry, actually, is Harry kept... Basically, there's just so many blokes just shouting what they think Tyson Fury should do. I heard, just pick him off with a jab! Pick him off with a jab, Tyson! With a jab!

With a jab! Just constantly, just screaming it. Right? As if Tyson Pugh had gone in there with no plan whatsoever. I hope somebody shouts out what I should do. Yeah. I hope somebody's got some instructions for me. I'm wicked.

I'll do that, mate. Thank you. And then what would happen is that every time somebody shouts something, Harry Hill would just go, yeah, I agree. something harry hill would just go yeah i agree but it's just like it's just really fucking like it's very it's like a weatherspoons at closing yeah yeah yeah but 90 000 people at weatherspoons at closing time man it's just like did you just all this sort of pent-up aggression they've watched this fight did this all fucking g'd up it's quite scary yeah i'd arguably say more scary than football but did you mate mate a level a level beyond anything i've seen in the football like because you're sitting ringside right um

which is an amazing thing right like oh mate i've done it a couple of times what an experience like the two things i'd say is like hearing punches landing. Yeah. Because you're near enough is mad. And also being able to hear what the fighters are saying to each other and stuff like that is like, yeah, I think that was an incredible experience that I don't take for granted.

I know I'm taking the piss. I know I'm taking the piss out of what people shout and stuff like that. That happens at football. Like people shouting tactics. Well, it wasn't a mate. What an amazing,, like people shouting tactics. It was an amazing, what an amazing experience. But then, you know what, I've not been to a fight

of that size. I have been, I went to Croc versus Groves at Wembley, but that was sort of, I wasn't, yeah, that was a long time ago. But what I find is Wembley is at its worst when it's not getting, like, everyone had leaves, you know what I mean? And you're basically, did you get caught at Wembley is the, it's worst when it's not good.

Everyone had leaves. You know what I mean? And you're basically, did you get caught on Wembley walkway? Were you fortunate enough to have a drink afterwards? We hung around afterwards, but one of the things that I actually made the mistake of doing is Alan and I, Harry and Tim went off. I mean,

we stayed behind to just watch what was going on. And then we were sort of navigating our way out of the out of ringside and accidentally found ourselves on tyson's exit path and so there was like we were sort of wandering around and then i looked it was like really empty and there's all these barriers either side of us and there's fucking loads of people waiting to see tyson fury leave and then i just we just got loads of shit for like thinking we were a big deal and walking out of that exit. It was, but we, I stayed behind because like, even I stayed behind for like an hour after the fight finished. And even then walking out, like, it's one of those difficult ones where there's loads of blokes that really pissed up and they are being nice. But you always feel like with a couple of blokes, similar to when we went to watch England, actually, you're having a chat and they're sort of like doing sort of piss takey banter with you.

And you always feel like it's on the edge of. They could take something you say the wrong way. I mean, it's like on the way out, I was chatting to one bloke and he said something to me about you're not as fat as you look on tv or something like that and then i just went oh it's just like depression from people saying things like that to me and then um he went well what do you mean by that it's a bit it's a bit off isn't it talk about start talking about depression and i said oh no this is like this is like and then it just you know like when you go you have lots of conversations like that that you feel could go south really quickly you know what it's it's the it's the time where you'll see so many people are like hanging on to something like this that should have left like the

drugs the drink that sort of just level and that level of aggression as well it's sort of it can you can see people who in any other walk of their life, are probably quite sort of sweet, meek people, but it's not about watching fighting and people just becoming sort of like this fucking... Like an animal instinct that just is actually quite fucking nerve-wracking. It's really mad. There's something about... Because I was thinking about it the other night,

because when we were away, I was away with the family last week, which is a lovely hotel in suffolk and on one of the nights chelsea playing arsenal yeah and i sat watching the game and like the kids were going nuts and i was watching i was thinking there are very few experiences that i have where i'm sat passively watching watching something and being so kind of involved in it and it's sort of it's emotional and heart-wrenching and i think that's what's the beauty of like being into sport is all about but you do feel like your body has like generated all of these things that have got to go somewhere do you know what i mean like you sort of like you really feel like wrung out after the experience and i think that's what happens at

the boxing and i remember like i went to watch i went to a pub to watch do you remember when ray parla scored that screamer in the FA Cup final yeah so I remember watching that game at a pub with a few mates and like Arsenal won and we were like celebrating and these two like blokes in Chelsea tops came over and they went are you all celebrating are you like if you were really fans you'd be at the game wouldn't you like and and I was watching like they're really aggy and I realised what it was was they were just so fucking worked up

and their team had lost and they just wanted to unleash what's built up inside you know and that's why these things I mean

I'm doing very pseudo it's like cod psychology but like you see it so many times like these blokes have just got do you know what I mean they're just fucking

really pent up and it's got of where are you in your life that, man, I always remember going to one of the first ever UFC, I don't think I've talked about this on here, but one of the first ever UFCs at Wembley Arena. And it was me and James and Matt Morgan went together.

And I remember me and Matt just going to the bathroom at one point and it was just a guy who'd just been, like some couple of lads had filled him in. He was just bleeped, like broken his nose. But he was still trying to do cocaine. It was still sort of like, it was one of the most sort of brutal, but also just absolutely depressing

sort of sights I've ever seen in my life but i remember like there like sitting there just thinking this this is fucking like it was everywhere you looked it was i mean you ever see it become a bigger thing now it's just yeah it's boxing but then it was and i've traveled all over the world watching boxing i love it i love it it's but it's there's all like there's a part of me now that just thinks like genuinely when i saw you sitting ringside and that's why I texted because at some point during it someone threw a drink didn't they

at Fury's corner and you're like oh god this is, you just hope that it's not going to kick off and it's not going to sort of have that atmosphere to it because it's a special thing because and also it's worth saying that Tyson Fury is an artist he's an artist man, he's worth saying that Tyson Fury is an artist.

He's an artist, man. He's an incredible boxer. He's someone that, you know, to watch and say, you know, I watched the Klitschko fight I was at

when he fought Klitschko and to have watched him live, he's fucking unreal, man. Unreal, another level of fighter. But when people bring that sort of element to it,

when I saw that drink go flying, I'm like, you think, it only takes something to light that powder keg and it's just going to I saw that drink go flying, I'm like, you think, it only takes something to light that powder keg and it's just going to go the other way.

Yeah, I know. I just think there's something about it. It's just people are really riled up and obviously, there was a proper sense of occasion to it. Yeah. Everybody's wound up

and you're watching this fight and that's just not going to go off without incident. Do you know what I mean? I have seen, you know when football matches are particularly like high stakes or there's been a last minute winner or whatever, like for example

when I went to Old Trafford and Man United scored in the last minute or whatever against West Ham it was tasty outside afterwards because like people had just worked up, do you know what I mean? and so it does happen but i've got to say like there were times like harry harry hill and tim vine went off to um

like they went off to get a drink and alan and i was a ringside and they nearly didn't make it back because like people were just like charged up trying to get to their seats and they just got swept away with it all it's like it was like. You know, like people who all just really worked... I feel like I'm sounding like a bit of a pearl clutcher here, but it was like... It was just like... I just think certain types of blokes at the box, see? Yeah.

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Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Anyway, should we do some emails? Let's do some sweet, sweet emails, please. Did this one select these when you were on your holiday?

No, she didn't. The swan... Actually, now you mention the swan. The swan was very nervous because she booked the hotel and we hadn't been there before. She's really worried. And it was great.

So I just want to say thank you so much. It was very sweet how worried she was about it. I wasn't vegan on the holiday. What? By accident, it happened. What happened? I can't believe we've got through fucking, what, 40 minutes, and this is the first time you bring this up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What happened? It's actually my fault. Bit of cheese, bit of butter? No, it's the vegetarian sausage wasn't vegan, it turned out. It's got egg in it. Wow. How did you feel?

the vegetarian sausage wasn't vegan. It turned out it's got egg in it. Wow. How did you feel? Uh, well, the member of staff that told me was so gutted, uh,

about what happened. I had to sort of like go, it's cool, man. It's cool. And it is cool. It was an accidental thing. Do you know what I mean?

Did you, did you feel any different? Um, no, I sort of felt, I felt less sort of pure as a soul. I felt corrupted and tarnished. No, no, but I like... And I felt like I was contributing to the world's ills.

Because you haven't ingested any meat or cheese for so long, or eggs or poultry, whatever they call it. Yeah, any animal emissions, yeah. Yeah, I didn't know whether it would sort of get into your body and into your membranes and have some sort of... I think if I ate... I don't think... I mean, in answer to your question, no, there was no difference. But I do think if I ate meat, it would be weird.

Like I think it would... Like my system's not used to processing it, right? So I don't know what would... It'd be a dark... I reckon I'd just shit kind of just like a small dark pellet or something. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I sometimes get that. Hmm, yeah. Right, okay.

We've got an email from The Bear. Wow. This is quite deep, I'm just giving you a warning. I'm going to close my eyes and listen to this one, yeah? What I'm going to do, Tom, I don't think I read the emails very well. You're brilliant at emails.

No, but too quick. Somebody actually emailed in to ask if we speed up I read the emails very well. You're brilliant at the emails. No, but too quick. Somebody actually emailed in to ask if we speed up me reading the emails. What? No, don't listen to that. A lot of people love how you read the emails. I think you do that. You know what? In all the time anyone's ever read me a letter or an email,

I don't think anyone's done it as well as you. How many times has that come up? In my life, probably a dozen times where someone's read a letter out or an email. Okay. And I'm the best of that dozen times? Yeah, yeah.

Well, actually, maybe more, maybe 50 when I think about letters as well. Maybe 50? Yeah. On 50 occasions

somebody's read a letter to you? Letter or email? Yeah, someone's got... Did you work on Jim or Fix It or something? Why are people reading out letters to you?

You had to get a sample joking. Did you watch that documentary yeah so yeah i don't want to think about it so let's not talk about it uh okay word up animal fam i have the opportunity to achieve a lifelong dream and i need your advice am i biting off too much or is the intense next year or so going to be worth it i have a full-time job as a data analyst. It's intense and challenging. However, I enjoy it and its rewards. I permanently work from home,

so I've been able to work on additional projects in my downtime between crunch work periods. It's been a lifelong dream of mine to run a pub. I've jumped through all the hoops, done the qualifications, set the money aside, delivered the business plan, and have now been offered the pub of my dreams. As the pub is fully staffed, I plan on keeping my full-time day job, working above the pub for my day job and then focused on the pub in the evening. Essentially, two full-time jobs. In addition,

I have three kids and a beautiful future wife. They obviously need their own attention on top of work. While they'll be living above the pub with me, I have a small concern in the back of my mind. It's going to be an intense year while I get the pub up to speed and improve its direction. As a huge fan of your work, Al, it sounds like your dad had the same situation, a full time job and a pub to run. How was this on the fam? Was your dad able to juggle both jobs and provide an awesome family life? I need to follow my dreams and obviously can't just bin off the family. So that makes my day job the weak link if anything needs to go. But the money from that goes a long way am i taking on too much uh advice please the bear

the bear the bear the bear well i think number one it'd be interesting to know how old the children were i guess in a way i can tell you that i decided not to share that information but it is in the email 11 7 and 3 um look i'm I'm all for following your dreams I think that Going for something that you've always dreamed of And sort of Pushing Your own ambitions

And If it's always been Telling you what to do It'd be hard to turn around to someone and say, don't do it. But mate, I do think with children of that age, like, I haven't run pubs, I've worked in pubs, and I've spent lots and lots and lots of times in pubs. and I think Romo should agree that it takes a fuck tonne of work a lot of work it will mean those late nights away from your kids

and they're all at a very precious age if they're a little bit older maybe with more of their own sort of interests or clubs or whatever they could be starting then by all means it would probably almost as well socially be quite a good thing to do i my worry would be that it could it could be something

that you sort of do and it does sort of like have a knock-on effect to your to your family and it's one of those things as well and it's like you know it's really difficult to sort of you know i i always want i always want to be positive and i always want people to follow dreams but pubs are fucking hard man like friends of mine have done it and it's really hard to make a pub work it's even harder to make a pub work in 2022 post-covid in the world we see i think so i think sort of like the way that society works now i I don't know how, you know, I look back and, you know, Romesh will probably be able to indulge more on this, but like when his dad had the pub and he was a bit younger,

pubs were a massive part of how we all lived our lives. You know, there were meeting points. There were sort of hubs of the estate, hubs of your life. You know, you'd be in them all the time. It doesn't feel that pubs are necessarily like that now like that now you know that i suppose you have a gastropub and that essentially becomes more of a restaurant i don't think you're yeah so i don't know i think it's it's something you have to look at in a really real way my gut would be maybe it's something you invest in you get someone else to run and you can dip in and dip out of a

bit but the thought of trying to have to get a business like that up to speed with three young children a wife and uh another job it feels that you don't want to take too much on and also you know lose savings that down the road might might be something that you know you might be able to do something else with or invest somewhere else so yeah i don't know if I've just fucking droned on it. But, yeah, I guess my thing would be just think very carefully about it, bro. Yeah, my dad used to run a pub, as I've talked about, and as Tom mentioned, but my dad went into owning the pub in a very different way to what you've done, Bear.

Because basically my dad enjoyed getting pissed at lunchtime and so sold the company that he owned and used that money to buy the pub that he went to at lunch. I mean, I don't think that's the right motivation to get into the pub, go. And he just basically, if I'm being honest with you, spent most of his time behind the bar absolutely fucking battered so i i wouldn't um i wouldn't use my experience of writing my dad running a pub as a your brother at that time we were quite old like it was like you know uh i guess

late teens maybe early 20s you know it wasn't like doing our proper childhood you know like um but like but my um what i would say to you is uh like running a pub's really hard my dad wasn't trying to push the pub on in any way he just wanted to run a pub and have some mates and and even he found it hard doing that not having that modest aspiration i mean it was like it's a tough thing anytime you want to put a change in there it's difficult but that was that particular type of pub. It's very much like that pub is the pub you're talking about, Tom, which is like a pub that serves an estate or an area, do you know what I mean?

And so they don't want any change. They don't want you to push it on, really. I don't mean that in a negative way. I get that, do you know what I mean? People want like a familiar place to go to. Look, the things I would say to you is the idea that it's going to just be a year that it's going to be that it's going to be intense for is is not is not true it's going to be longer than that i think you sound really passionate about it when i went into comedy

look i feel a mixed way about it on the one hand you put yourself into something that's your dream okay and on the one hand you put all your time into it and you don't have time for other things. And that's tricky. On the other hand, it makes you happier. And so you're a better person around the house. You know, like you're a better father. You're a better husband because you're happier in what you're doing with your life. Those those are the two scenarios you talked about putting a business plan together. You've talked about, you know, working out how you're going to do that. What I would advise you to do is come up with a family plan.

And what I mean by that is talking to your future wife about what your plans are to make sure you've got quality time with your family and how you're going to do that. I remember when I was struggling to do comedy it got to the point where i was actually i reckon a close to giving up because i wasn't making any money from it and we weren't able to pay the bills um you know it was just like a real struggle and i ended up having to have a chat with Lisa about putting a time limit on, on, on how long I was going to keep doing it for. And we decided that we were going to put a six month deadline on it.

And if I didn't, if we didn't make enough, if I didn't make money from doing it within that six months, and that wasn't something that Lisa enforced on me. Lisa has been, I'm going to tell you that Lisa is as responsible for my success in comedy as I am. And I'm not saying that as like fake is as responsible for my success in comedy as I am and I'm not

saying that as like fake humility I mean that I couldn't have done what I've done without her and so we agreed six months and and if I haven't done if I'm not we're not still paying the bills in six months and maybe we need to think about me going back to teaching or whatever and luckily it didn't you know whatever Luckily it didn't work out like that. So anyway, the reason I'm saying all this, it sounds a bit self-indulgent, but the reason I'm saying all this is I think you need to think about that with your family and go, one,

how do you manage your time so that you've got quality things? Is there a day of the week that you protect? And you go, on Sundays, that is my family day. Because your pub day is on Sunday. I know it is. I know it is, mate. I know. I know. I totally know. Monday. I go't do that. Busy pub day in the room. Sunday. I know it is. I know it is, mate. I know. I know. I totally know.

Monday. I go Monday. I'm just knowing pubs. Yeah, but Monday. Yeah, okay, fine. But Monday's got to do his day job, right? Oh, yeah. I'm trying to think of a day

that you can keep complete. I get what you're saying. But even if that means you pay a bit extra to have a manager in that you trust. I don't know. Look, I don't know

the mechanics of it, man. But like, you know, whatever. Protected time with your family and knowing that you've always got one of the things at least when i do is we've always got a holiday to look forward to so we never have a time where we don't have something booked in that doesn't have to be abroad that might just be just going down the road somewhere do you mean or whatever so it's those things i think you know you've got your business plan have your home life plan sorted out give yourself like a structure to that and then make a decision about whether that's manageable or not you know does your future wife feel like that's something she's willing to

kind of go along for the ride with so i guess what i'm saying to you is i'm sorry but we don't have a definitive answer do you mean it's hard man because we both do something. We both follow our dreams. I mean, like, you know, listening to what you're saying about Lisa, like me and Catherine had exactly the same thing. It was, she was working two jobs. And yeah, I sort of, I was broke at the time. And, you know, fortunately, like you,

but I wasn't, I had gone back to do little bits of building work and little bits of, you know, graft just to sort of get some sort of money in. So I'm all for that. But it felt like there's a slight difference on the basis that to fulfill those dreams,

me and you were working full time just to get that, just to get comedy across. Like if I'd had, you know, when I first, first started before I was with Catherine, I had the first, I was working,

like you were teaching, you're working and doing evenings doing evenings that that was even then just on my own living on my that was a killer thing to have to go do stand-up in the evenings three or four times a week and work a day job yeah so trying to even thinking of like trying to do something like that now with a little one with a wife you know it's you know because me and you essentially as well we both run companies as well as doing standard, you know, it's fucking hard, man.

Yeah, so I'd reiterate exactly what Romesh's advice was incredible and this is very, very, you could almost just fast forward

through mine. Shut up. No, no, Romesh is very good, man. Well, it's too late to say that now

because you've had to listen to mine to listen to yours. Yeah, so I guess, if anything, you're wasting more time. No, I'm joking. Your advice is great, man. So, look, good luck, Bear. It's just not easy. But, like, you know, I would chat with your wife about it,

your future wife, sorry, and work it out together. I always think that's the way to go with it. I remember, like, when I started comedy, we had Theo, our eldest, andisa just came with me to open mic gigs and brought theo with him theo with her theo has seen more shit comedy than anyone i know like as a baby in a car seat at the back of gigs like just watching loads of open white stand-up so anyway look you'll find your way man good luck uh this is from the octopus hi wolf al swan and cat first of all love the pod one of the only pods which actually makes me laugh out loud in the car keep it up i booked a trip to snowdonia with my now ex a few months ago which

is in three weeks time was that too much on that sentence the way i did that no i liked it i liked it i really thought yeah she's cancelled the activities we had planned but i booked the airbnb and i haven't cancelled it yet we broke up because of some personal stuff she needs to sort out so there's no hard feelings i don't really know if i'll take anyone else and i'm considering going alone i've never traveled alone but i'm worried i might get sad about the fact i should have been there with her as i really did love her i'm in a more positive place now but i'm really torn and i have to decide before a couple of weeks if i want to cancel at least get some of my money back what would either of you two do i'd love an opinion or two all the best the octopus tommy d

yo you're a topless and you have many tentacles of love um oh god but You know something? I have walked in these shoes before, my brother. And I will tell you now, go. Because weirdly, I mean, this might just be akin to me, but I had a similar thing where I split up with many, many moons ago. I split up with a girlfriend at the time. And I really found it hard, the notion of ever having any time on my own, just myself. I constantly found solace in being around groups of mates, or weirdly even just strangers or whatever.

I had to be around new friends. And someone pointed out the fact that I never could ever really be on my own. I was always sort of... And then I worked out from quite be on my own I was always sort of and then I worked out for me from quite a young age I was always sort of seeking company and actually from there I went on like a couple of times went away with just myself just to sort of get my own just just to learn to enjoy my own company I'd never ever done that I'd always worked in jobs where I was always around people and actually one of the reasons then that I sort of when I started stand-up and you spend quite a lot of time sort of you know traveling on your own or you know

when you're sort of gigging whatever uh filming can be quite lonely if you're away but I never I always sort of relish that a little bit I think that actually getting that time away and actually it's a real time to to think about everything that you've been through with your you know the the woman you split up with the um yeah and celebrate the stuff that you know you've been through but also the moving on i think it's almost like it gives you a chance to sort of step forward in life and yeah realize that the most treasured relationship that you're ever going to have is the woman yourself so i'd say go enjoy it eat good food uh have some incredible walks get out there in nature and um yeah give yourself a pat on the back because you

know sometimes when we think we're losing bro we're actually winning oh my god that was beautiful Beautiful. Oh. Tommy D. Amazing. Amazing advice. It sounds like I'm sort of overcompensating for the fact you felt a bit down about your advice on the last one, but genuinely it was good advice. Octopus, first of all, very sorry for your breakup, although I say sorry.

These things happen for a reason. So, uh, you're going to go on to bigger and better things. Uh, I, when, when,

when he's, when I first started doing standup, uh, on the club circuit, you spend a lot of time on your own because you go to do these clubs at these weekends and you're not always friends with the other comics or whatever, or they're off, they're traveling home or whatever.

So sometimes I'd, I'd find myself in like cities on my own for the weekend um and so i basically had to get to this point i had to sort of train myself to be all right with doing shit alone like going to the cinema or going to a restaurant obviously i didn't have to eat a restaurant it's good to get out of the hotel much nicer than sitting eating a sandwich on your own in the fucking hotel room so like i i'd like go out and and when the first few times i went to the cinema on my own and the first few times i went to restaurants on my own i felt like super awkward i mean actually like tom said i actually started to enjoy uh just doing stuff on my own i actually think there's a value to that there's

something nice about that. Just kind of being alone with your own thoughts or whatever. I mean, at first it's terrifying, but like, I mean, I, I remember I used to have to turn,

when I drove on my own, I'd have to turn the music up very loud so that I could switch my brain off from like fucking giving me more existential crisis stuff. But like, I think there's, I think there's something about being on your own, which without getting too wanky about it, it's like quite mindful and good. And also a trip to Snowdonia sounds even more like that.

So I actually think rather than getting your money back, my advice to you would be to go and enjoy. It's actually a gift in a way. I mean, you've had a breakup and now you've got this opportunity to go and spend some time on your own. Fall in love with yourself for want of a sort of

less wanky thing and just kind of uh get yourself in the best possible place to move on and and and move on to the next stage of your life so um yeah i would strongly advise you do it on your own man just like either meet people or don't whatever however but just enjoy the trip and uh take you for what it is i think it's. I think it's a blessing. So good luck with it. Thank you, Octopus. Very nice. I'm just mulling over the Octopus.

I kind of just want to imagine him just standing on the top of Snowdonia, just staring up at the sun. Just thinking, I'm having such a shit time because two twats told me to come to Snowdonia on my own he's going to have the time of his life and you know what I think this young man is going to change the whole way that the world works ok

alright good that's a good prediction alright Tom it's time if you don't mind Tom to do your thing That's a good prediction. All right, Tom. It's time, if you don't mind, Tom, to do your thing. Yeah. And lead us out of here. Heroes come in many guises.

In a small town, not far from where you are now, or it could be a long way away, there sits a mighty, mighty oak tree that the whole town has been built all around. It's fearsome and strong and its branches reach out and children climb them in summer and in the winter when it's raining, people seek solace from the damp squib that we know as God's tears underneath its branches and leaves. However, one day, a small bird lands on the oak tree

and says, oh my God, everybody flies here just to sit on your mighty, mighty arms, Mr. Oak Tree. And the oak tree says yes i know i'm always having birds and people sitting and leaning on me but you know the truth of my life is i wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a little bird like you and the bird says oh my god really how so and he says many many generations ago a little bird had eaten some seeds uh from another tree and as he flew over this town he pooped them out and the seeds fell into the ground and the rain took hold and i was born and i scaled up and that's why I became a mighty oak. And the little bird says,

so what you're saying is you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a little bird like me? And the oak tree says, never ever question might and strength without thinking about the flight it took to get here. And the bird sort of kind of knows what he means and he smiles at the oak tree the oak tree sort of nods in the wind and the bird says i'm gonna go and poop out my own dream and

he just flies off and the oak tree says fly steady little bird what the whole thing about that is sometimes when you're walking through life and you think that you're not having any impact on anything or anyone the smallest little thing you do can change someone's dreams fly steady little birds wow there's a lot to love about that one um uh i think your ability to combine the profound with the fucking insane is so, it's something I just don't know anybody else that can do what you do. To say the line, never look at might and strength without questioning the flight it took to get there. It's one of the most profound things I've heard in a long time. And then to immediately follow up with, oh, thank you. i think i'm going to go and poop out my own dream

as a follow-up to that the other thing is the insane decisions to make the bird american i just wanted to do that voice and that's been burning and then also you're uh one of the things you're consistent at on these is not knowing how to end. I know. It's always like the end of Lord of the Rings. But, oh, mate,

that was fucking one of your very best ones. Smashed it. Smashed it. Guys, I hope you've enjoyed this little distraction that we call the wolf and our podcast

we're not saying it's amazing but we are saying is maybe in a small way it might just help you get on with your day so by the way talking of days if you've listened this far,

this is actually a birthday special for me. It's my birthday today. Oh, yes, it is. Well, if you're listening to it on Wednesday, it's my birthday. It's not my birthday if you listen to it on Friday. No, or Thursday or any of the other days. Or indeed, if you listen to it the following Wednesday, that's also not Tom's birthday.

If you're listening to it on the Wednesday that this comes out, then it is Tom's birthday. If you're listening to it on the Wednesday that this comes out if you're listening to this on Wednesday 27th April 2022 there you go thank you for enjoying my birthday with me happy birthday Tom thank you sir and also what's exciting is hopefully I get to see you this weekend

we're seeing each other in a couple of days aren't we family time if we had the wherewithal we'd probably record something to commemorate that but we won't so we'll see you next time when we're seeing each other in a couple of days, aren't we? Yeah. Family time. Yeah, if we had the wherewithal, we'd probably record something to commemorate that, but we won't. So we'll see you next time when we're back on Zoom. Definitely the first thing I'm doing when I get there. What?

Looking in your fridge, baby. Looking in the fridge. Fucking prick. I'm going to hide in your bedroom. See you later, guys. Bye-bye. Ciao. Ciao.

Ciao. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. Thank you.