Wolf and Owl - Ep 71: Quitting Sugar & Addictive TV

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

We’re talking…. Tom’s ambitious plan to give up sugar, opposite mums, fizzy drinks, bespoke pasties, biscuit gluttony, addictively tepid TV, great bedtime storytelling and the awesomeness of satsumas - or maybe that should be clementines? Then some email questions answered on dealing with uneven incomes, the seven deadly sins, and coming up with sayings and catchphrases. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that That's right! Did you know

it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca Order up for Rebelsis! Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's Yeah. Hello, welcome to the wolf and owl we've made the big mistake of doing this in the evening again i'm so sorry there's no way around it at the moment this is this is the this

is like this is a wolf and owl late night sessions because of your schedule really a little bit blue we've got our dicks out and we're just going to see what happens. We get a bit blue as in we get a little bit down and frowny. Yeah. You know what's going to add to that downing? What? I'm going to come out the back, mate,

with some big news. With some good news? Big news. Big news, go on. From Tuesday this week, I'm giving up sugar. Tuesday this week, I'm giving up sugar. Le sucre is gone for my diet. Okay, talk me through your journey to this point

where you've decided to give up sugar. Sorry, I didn't mean to be that unsupportive. Catherine telling me that I'm quitting sugar. No, we worked out that we're doing a lot of we eat so much especially since grace was born we like literal snack i'll like these like the thought that it will have some sort of fucking sugary snack and it will boost our energy and actually when you read into it and you look into it um yeah i don't know how much look yeah do you have you looked into the sugar vibe at all do you know much about sugar vibe i don't know what much... Have you looked into the sugar vibe at all? Do you know much about sugar?

Looked into the sugar vibe? I don't know. What do you mean? Do you know much about... Yeah. Do you know much about sugar? I know that it is very bad. Yeah.

Why? So, look. Basically, back in the day... Here we go. You've taken on the... ...demeanor of an ex-smoker before giving up. Right, listen to me. Yeah, go on, go on, go on.

Look, back in the day with caping and hunters and shit, yeah? They would find, like, berries and fruit and shit and wolf them down because they were ridiculous. Just before you carry on, is this something

that you've actually read and know about? Because so far, what you've told me is stuff that I think you're remembering from history lessons. No, no, no, this is what I've read about. So hunter-gatherers would go and get berries and stuff? No, no, they'd go hunting, they'd find berries, and they'd wolf them down because that would keep their

energy up while they were looking for the big fucking, I don't know, like dinosaur meat and shit like that, okay? Okay. Right?

Right. All right, go on. I'm just, do you know what I'm going to do? I'm just going to ignore that you said dinosaur meat and I'm going to let you continue.

Go on. Right, and back then, right, they'd maybe eat a whole tree of like, I don't know, strawberries or like currants and stuff

right it's it's like a competition to pack as many inaccuracies as you can do into one one minute of talking gone right and then because they go oh this makes me feel energized i can definitely go and get that like yeah you can meet that one or like whatever right they did not ever think there'd be a time like in thousands of years after where you could just walk into a shop and buy as much sugar as you wanted, right? They used it as it was going to be used, right? Now we've got this, we're so like wrapped up in sugar, we've even forgotten what it's for, bro.

And like that's, like it's, and it's also fructose is addictive. It's more addictive than cigarettes alcohol cocaine so put that in your pipe and smoke it and it won't be as addictive as if it's really got you good hasn't she on this no but it's like you like that is the thing with sugar man so yeah from tuesday i'm like an ex sugar eater giving up the cane bro well listen good luck getting through that 90 minutes or however long you're going to last before you smash into the Kinder Bueno.

Have you ever tried it, giving up sugar? Yeah, I have. Okay, first of all, I need to apologise to you, okay? Yeah, hit me. Because you told me something, and this is typical of men. Men do this, and I shouldn't have done it. You told me you were going to try and improve yourself and i started laughing it's a horrible thing to do and i want to officially apologize

on this podcast i knew systematically what you were doing there so yeah okay all right that's why that's why but i still love you and praise you so the first thing i want to do is i want to apologize yeah however however part of the reason i was scoffing is because i was hoping to discourage you from this path and i want to explain why okay hit me and just hear me out and if you after hearing me out still decide you want to do this i fully support you and i'll do whatever it takes to help you on your journey because i love you i cherish you and i want you to i want you to succeed in whatever you do as as you know, right? Yeah.

I, too, had this revelation that you did, right? I was eating too much sugar. And one of my problems is my mum, Sri Lankans of my mum and dad's generation, their attitude to sugar was, what a gift. It makes everything delicious. Let's put it on everything to make our kids eat stuff. And my mum has never got no my mum's never got past that so for example my mum would so my mum would look after our kids

right and she'd go i don't know why it is but uh for some reason uh theo prefers the porridge at my house to the porridge at your house and i'll say yeah because yours mum is 50 50 ratio of oats to sugar that's why he prefers yours of course he fucking prefers your porridge, right? And I now bear the after effects of a sugar diet. My teeth are fucked. I've had to go to the dentist to get basically reconstructed from scratch. I've had weight issues my whole life. And now, you know, the mood, like sugar is in everything.

You're absolutely right. And it affects your mood. You have these sugar crashes and shit like that. It evil it's horrendous and we eat too much of it and we're a victim of it and it doesn't sate you so you eat it and then you feel hungry very quickly afterwards and one of the things about eating sugar is it makes you want to eat more sugar so you know it's bad it is bad my trying to give up sugar completely is a is a very extreme thing to do for most people you've only got to do it for seven days right and then you slowly feed it back into your diet okay so so so when you opened this podcast and you said you've got some big news

no no no you give it up when you you said, you said, you said, you said, from Tuesday, I'm going to be an ex-sugar eater. So from Tuesday, I'm going to be an ex-sugar eater. Whereas what you should have said was, on Tuesday, I'll be on day one of one week of not eating sugar well the thing about it right that's why i scoffed because you you made it out like you were never going to eat sugar again in your life no that would be impossible because like how would I ever go?

Davina McCall's done it. But that is one of my main inspirations. She's incredible, right? Davina McCall is one of the most amazing people on this planet. By the way, I've got nothing against Davina McCall. I just want to know what your... I'd just love to hear your support and arguments for that. I think she's turned her life around.

She's been through a lot of different dilemmas to make herself quite an inspirational person. I also think that she has a lot of candor and courage and it always seems like if you were to bump into her in the street you'd go oh she's as nice as she seems on the tv i i honestly uh as much as i believe that you think that i also partly believe that the reason said courage is because it also begins with c like candor does and it's the next thing that popped into your head no i mean courage more than candor if anything okay all right so talk me through this so you're giving up sugar for a week yeah but what i what i meant by it right is i'm giving up any all sugar for a week to try and get i have like it right so i'm a bit of a flip side from you right

my mum was like back in the day almost like you know she was before her time she was obsessed with me not having sugar as a kid right which only works as long as i if i'd stayed in my house the whole time like that would have been fine but so what did you have for breakfast what was a kid like porridge or like she'd make bread and shit. With no sugar? No. Maybe a little sprinkler. But like she was...

I didn't have a chocolate biscuit until I was like five and I went to another little boy's house. Well, that's not as amazing as you think it is that you didn't have a chocolate biscuit until you were five. Like that is... You said that like... Like somebody losing their virginity at 53. That's not that amazing.

When do people usually have their first chocolate biscuit? I didn't eat a Mars bar till I was 18 months old. When do people usually have their first chocolate biscuit I don't know but I don't think I don't think five is that I don't think five is that ultimately I was basically my

first I thought you were gonna say I'll be honest I thought you're gonna say 15 it's like it's like it's like to give me a little bit of an understanding of what

you think is abstinence. What the fuck, you didn't have... I'd love to see... Just fucking on a chat show, just crying. No, yeah. Wasn't my first chocolate biscuit till I was five years old. I didn't even know what chocolate was till I was five. Anyway, go on, sir.

So, yeah, so she was really against uh and then after that when whenever i went to birthday parties and stuff i used to really sort of like overeat i used to sort of i basically because of the we never had sugar or treats in our house i used to just wolf them down it's a classic story classic story yeah so now i have i have a very unhealthy relationship with snacks and like for example right tonight for example let's put tonight into context i had a relatively um healthy um dinner which i had a dal uh some lentil dal which was amazing um nice little uh brindle bhaji um not a takeaway all homemade uh nice some uh wholemeal rice and then i'm like i literally sat on the sofa waiting to do this podcast and i was just like i thought i might have a can of

coke zero so i have a can of coke zero no sugar in that right yeah but then it's got other it's got stuff worse than sugar in it how else do you think but it doesn't have sugar in it yeah no yeah but the stuff that they put into a place for the sugar is almost, well, it can totally blind us. So are you not having Coke Zero from Tuesday as well for a week? I'm going to have, no, fizzy drinks, by the way, that's my worst addiction. Like, genuinely, that's the thing that I... I really think you need to zone in on what it is

you're going to be cutting out for this seven days. Because I'm slightly nervous that you might die. What exactly are you cutting out? no i don't you've just named you've just named a sugar-free drink that you're also not going to be drinking on your sugar-free week no i i just i just i just want i just want between now and tuesday you and katherine to sit down and just do a bit of reading just a little bit of research no but during the week, I never have fizzy drinks anyway. Okay, fine. You need to know that about me.

I mean, I can't think of anything more tragic than Saturday morning rolling around and you frolicking downstairs. Catherine, the day has come. Crack it open a can of Orangina. Oh, yeah. Shake the bottle, wake the drink. Anyway, go on.

And then I had a Magnum and a pack of these vegan ice cream treats that we get. They're like these little balls, these little Japanese. They're incredible. Like they're frozen mochi balls, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. And a whole pack, well, half a pack or a pack of them. I can't remember how many. I've had like five of them, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. And a whole packet, well, half a pack or a pack of them. I can't remember how many.

I've had like five of them, so. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, listen, listen. You're about to change yourself. Don't start, you're sounding like Eeyore now. Do you know what I mean?

Like, you had the snack. Don't be hard on yourself. You work hard. Yeah, but then that's, then, I mean, last year I had a takeaway. I had, also for lunch. What did you get from takeaway?

Chinese yesterday. Chinese. By the way, Grace found it just hilarious when I said to Catherine, I went, oh, we'll get a Chinese, right? And Catherine, Grace just starts absolutely wetting herself. It's the funniest thing she's ever heard. You didn't do the accent, did you? Of course I didn't do the accent.

I'm just wondering what she would have been laughing at. No, I think it was how excited I was, maybe. Oh, right, okay. Can they get Chinese? Ooh, get Chinese! Yeah. So now we keep on saying that to her to make her laugh more, and then what I realise is people...

Yeah, that's great. And then the first time she makes someone Chinese, she starts laughing, yeah? You've got a fucking racist baby on your hands. She was already a bit funny with me on our driveway. Yeah, go on. So for lunch, I had a rhubarb, apple and custard pasty. What?

Oh, my God, it was amazing. Where did you get that from? Just a local new pasty place in town. That sounds unbelievable. Rhubarb, apple and custard in one pasty. Yeah, it was incredible. Holy fucking shit, man. How much did that cost you?

I actually think it was like £2.80. Okay, now obviously I can't have that. Can I just, Coughlin's Bakers, I know that you listen to this, please, could you? Coughlin's will knock that up easily. Can you please make one of those, Coughlin's, and we call it,

let's call it the Wolf and Alpasti, please. There you go. There's a lot of heat on the burritos. Oh, yeah. Me and Flo, who's sort of, basically was at one's sort of basically was at one point sort of an agent to both,

where she'd been your long-term agent, now my agent as well, but actually she's looking into sort of these franchises of the Wolfenau burrito brand. We're not actually opening a burrito bar.

It's just a joke t-shirt. No, the next Wolfenau Live, I'm looking into getting a burrito stand there. Fuck it now. there. Fucking hell. Okay. Jesus Christ. Okay, anyway, listen, talk me through this.

So you had a rhubarb, was it rhubarb, apple and custard pasty? Yeah, right. Then we went for coffee and I had a big massive slice of like a shortbread thing. So I'm obsessed with eating crap okay you know and it's look i've physically feel like i've lost a bit of weight i feel pretty good about it's great you look great i texted you the other day so i think you're looking great and i meant a lot my g uh as do you um but i need now thanks for something that means less than nothing saying a direct response to me saying that about you thank you but uh yeah i'm

just a little bit cautious of this like like me being addicted to stuff i've got a very addictive personality yeah we both do so so so can you talk me through um this uh how does this seven days thing work apparently just breaks the circuit of okay apparently okay that's what i want to interrogate slightly so where when you say apparently where have you read this somewhere yeah i look i we did katherine's done a bit of googling i've done a bit of googling we've brought a book about it the woman's look it's a bit like with drinking right it's now with alcohol like i literally got quite ill after the euros i was like i need to fucking knock this on the head for a bit right that bit was literally after the euros until over the last few weeks

where i've gone oh you know what i'll introduce i'll have a beer because i don't and i've had a beer or a couple of beers and then gone yeah that's fine whereas before i've since literally probably age of 15 if i have one or two beers i'll have 12 like i literally would struggle always to just, I'd always just go, I'd have a beer. So me and you would have a beer and you'd go, I'm going to go home.

And then I'd go, try to get you to stay. If you didn't stay, I'd find someone else to have a drink with. Yeah. And like, not in a, I think I was an alcoholic or whatever.

I just, that was just how I, you know, but you've got a moreish personality, right? Yeah. Yeah. And like sugar and that sort of stuff is,

and also I don't know what you're like and it seems like you and lisa are very good with the boys it's like when you start reading about weaning a baby and like her picking up on what we're eating i'm like i don't want to be constantly like eating at the moment because we're and this week's been a lot better she slept better but when we're tired when we're tired and like you you're eating like constant sugar to pick you up you know i'm like as you know i'm back you i'm right right in most days, you're eating constant sugar to pick you up. As you know, I'm back, I'm writing most days and you're gigging at night. So before a gig at the moment, I'm sometimes going out and having two or three fucking cookies just to fucking get me into it.

So then you're like, this isn't sustainable. I can't be living like this. It's like to break that circuit and then reintroduce it but not at that crazy level well i think uh i do there is some science to what you're saying actually because you know like you you get into a habit of eating loads of sugar and eating chocolates and shit like that right yeah and then i've had a thing sort of a few weeks ago i started to just try and start eating a bit more healthily right and that meant just by its very nature that means you eat sort of fewer sweet things right yeah and then and then what you do is i will have like by the way can i just say before

i'm doing this before i say this i've not managed to stick to this perfectly but this is my what i'm trying to do i'm trying to eat healthfully yeah most of the week and then maybe have like one day a week or like a half day a week where i'm just like it's like a cheat day or whatever do you mean i have whatever right but what i do notice whenever i've tried doing that and when i've tried doing that in the past is like what i think you'll find is when you give up sugar for a week and then you start eating again you it resets it might take longer than this i don't know but like your sweetness uh tolerance resets do you mean because i when you were eating cookies and chocolates and shit like that and i'm saying that as somebody that does that you know all the time

you just get you just accept it you just like eat and eat and eat and like lisa lisa hardly ever eats sweet stuff right and so whenever we like when i say her, why don't we like get a dessert together? She can only have a little bit and then she stops and she's not doing it because she's obsessed with like not eating sweet things. It feels too sweet to her. Do you know what I mean? And that's because her taste buds are just like different.

She's like reset herself. And a lot of people talk about this. If you like, you look it up and this is me again now after criticising you for not doing your research. I'm half arsing this from what i sort of remember reading but like if you cut cut it out for a while basically what you think is sweet comes down you know that bar drops and drops and drops to the point where something not that sweet tastes incredibly to the point where like you know ketchup will start tasting way too sweet to you do you mean like and you start wanting to eat more natural stuff that does happen so it's kind of like

you're kind of like recalibrating yourself do you know what i mean whether whether that is done by your seven day thing or not i don't know maybe that's what it is what i will just say quickly is when we went to your house right lisa and you being incredible hosts you put up three packets of lovely biscuits right Catherine had one biscuit I don't even know if I Lisa didn't have any biscuits right I don't think you had a biscuit well no the reason yeah but to be clear about the reason three packets of biscuits got finished between me Charlie and Alex right and Charlie and Alex are only in the room for about 15 minutes most right and that you know

they're too young to be fair i think they maybe had at most two biscuits maybe three each right three packs that meant the rest of those fucking biscuits was eaten by me well well you know to make to make you feel a bit better about that you know part of the reason first of all charlie and alex will have powered for a few of those biscuits they're little sugar monkeys um the other thing i'll say the only reason i didn't have any is because they weren't vegan yeah lisa was kind you know actually just quickly what's made me feel even more disgusting about myself what else did i have in that situation the jam donut the fucking jam donut as well like i had a jam donut as well though no no No, no, no, you did, but you didn't have all the biscuits. What a normal person would have done, Romesh,

is when you turned around and went, I was eating one fancy jam donut, go, oh, actually, no, I've had probably about 14 biscuits. Okay. Listen, listen. I think it's a good thing that you're doing, right? But what I would say is you're writing you're gigging you're bringing up a baby and that is hard okay so can i can you just promise me this all right yeah and i

and i ask you i ask you this as somebody who cares about you and wants the best for you right yeah if you do eat biscuits or you do can you stop just stop talking about yourself like like you just gotta go i had some biscuits you came to my house i offered you some biscuits i offered you a jam donut it's a coughlin's donut you can't say no to that you're bringing up grace amazing you're bringing up grace you're fucking exhausted you got you had yourself a treat and now what you're doing is you've decided you're going to try and cut down on sugar you're making improvements so don't mate you're you're on the path man i'm i'm happy for i'm looking forward you know there's an argument that you know one of the one of the

possible arguments is that i'm doing this because i'm being nice another possible argument is i feel i still feel guilty about scoffing when you first tell me about this but listen either of those things is is could be true or both of them could be do you know what I mean if we can also throw into sort of the mix of other addictions you know one thing I've got

a bone to pick with you on is you and Lisa and your introduction to me and Catherine of the Amir Khan at Home With The Khans how addictive is that show

it's incredibly addictive but also I'm like what the there's like nothing fucking happens. So I can't even remember, was it called Keeping Up With The Khans? Keeping Up With The Khans, maybe, or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A Home With The Khans. Something like that. Anyway, Lisa and I put this on. And actually, this brings me on to an interesting topic, right? Well, arguably, I don't know. It's up to people to decide. But like, so Keeping Up With The Khans, this is an example of a show.

And I don't know if you and Catherine have this. Lisa and I have shows, and I don't know if we've talked about this before, that depending on your mood, you can handle. So, for example, I love Ozark, as does Lisa, right? Yeah. But if we're slightly tired or have had a tough day, you can't watch Ozark. No.

Because it requires too much mental kind of application and it's quite dark and it's quite stressful to watch exactly we've got something we've got to stare is it the stairway one uh we started watching literally watch one two episodes at the first episode with responder with halfway through the series yeah exactly so you've got those you've got those shows where you're ready to that's hardcore tv watching right you throw down and you're ready to watch it. So on this particular night, we just wanted something, I guess the equivalent of TV fast food.

So we threw on this Khan show on BBC Three. And I cannot explain why this... I don't know why this show is so addictive, right? Because you watch an episode, so little happens. I mean, so little happens. Like, an episode so little happen i mean so like genuinely little so little happens and and like to be completely honest they're very sweet people yeah it's not even like there's there's much animosity or in it or no you know it's like they're actually a couple with three lovely kids living what seems like quite a nice sort of life and you know

there doesn't like you know since grace has been born and and you know obviously we you know things like uh married at first sight we know that me and you have a chance for these kinds of shows you know keeping up the kardashians was on a lot when i like when grace was like some mornings i'll get it i get down and whatever and kathryn had been with grace and i just leave it on and sit there and watch hours of it, hours upon hours. But the Kardashians, it's constant. There's arguments.

There's fallings out. In this car one, it's kind of just like you're just watching two people just living a pretty nice… I know. The only one I've ever watched that was more tepid was the Peter Andre one. Oh, yeah. I mean, the Peter Andre one. did you ever see it no is it hold on is this a peter andre one with katie price or no no no no this i don't think katie price was in this one from what i remember it was like yeah they did one

together right yeah maybe she was in it i just remember remember it being... All I remember is one bit where it was like, Peter's gone to Butlins to perform. And in a mad state of events, he's forgotten his favourite trousers. It's like, oh, mate, I'm all the way out here. I've forgotten my bloody trousers. The trousers are the only thing I wear on stage. Peter rushes to the store. I'm going to have to go to the store.

And literally, it was just... There was so little going on in the voiceover of Peter would say exactly the same fucking thing. I was like, there's no big... Like, nobody's even remarking on it. It was honestly so drab. But that's what this Khan thing's like. It's like, Amir wants to throw Farial a birthday party, and it just cuts to him going,

I really want to throw Fariel a birthday party. Oh, my God. It just cuts to him going, I really want to throw her a party and that. So I just want to make sure that, you know, she likes a birthday. So I want to make sure she's got a great, you know, she's having a great birthday. Then it cuts to Fariel going, I just love, I love birthdays. And I think Amir might be throwing me a party. I'm not sure. He's trying to keep it a secret, but he cannot keep secrets.

Then it cuts back to him. I'm just really bad at keeping secrets. So I just thought, hopefully I'll be able to like keep her from Faria. And then it, then it's like, she's walking along with her friend, like just walking along in the park.

Just go, I am starting to think that Amir might be throwing me a party. I'm not sure. But it's like that. And that is it. And it ends with the fucking party. That's an episode. That is an episode.

The party, by the way, love to the both of them. They're sweet people. The party, it's not rocking, is it? Most of the party is them sitting there talking about... It's like nine people on a yacht. Yeah. I'm really missing Ole Matcher.

I'm really missing Bolton. He says how much he misses Bolton all the time. I've been to Bolton. Bolton's great. Do you know what I mean? But it's this party. You spent half an hour. I was expecting it to be. Bolton's great, do you know what I mean? But, you know, it's this party. You spent half an hour. I was expecting it

to be absolutely rocking. You know, actually, in all fairness, I actually looked at the party and thought, actually, of all the parties I've seen on these reality shows, that's one I'd have liked to go to.

Didn't feel like you had to show off or wear anything too fancy. No, you've made a mistake there. Everybody there was dripped out, man. Yeah, but I don't think, yeah, but I wouldn't be expecting, yeah, look, I'd have gone dressed okay, man. Yeah, but I don't think, yeah, but I wouldn't be expecting, yeah, look,

I'd have gone dressed okay, but I'd have probably wanted sort of like baggy a pair of slacks, something that sort of like, you know, something I could sit around a bit in. You know,

it didn't feel as pompy as some of them can, you know. Have you ever seen the Kardashians with their parties? Yeah, yeah, yeah,

next level. Yeah. But I'm slightly nervous because there's a chance we'll bump into amir khan so we just we just i just want to say this for the record right seems like a great guy seems like a great family say like amir khan i'm loving the show i can't imagine i cannot imagine a show with less happening in it i i can't think of a show the only things i could imagine that i've got less happening in it, you know those baby shows where it's just like a gerbil wandering around?

Yeah, but the baby shows, weren't they having the babies? No, I mean like TV for babies. Oh, good, yeah. Yeah, Christ, don't. Yeah, we're just getting into that. We're talking about the miracle of life emerging. She's got into this dancing vegetables thing, dancing fruit. It's insane. I say she's got into this dancing vegetables thing. Dancing fruit. It's insane.

I say she's got into it. We put it on and she's very flicks in and out of it. Do you know what I can't wait for? Go on. You to do CBeebies story time. Bedtime story. I've got to say, my story reading is incredible. Wow. Go on. I mean, what's so good about it? I mean, you've got the voices down, I imagine.

Yeah, yeah. the voices are good the timing I really really take my time with it I really enjoy it I savour every line yeah just cat knocking on the door

Tom you've been in there an hour mate do you want to Grace is absolutely exhausted get on with something else she's crying because she wants you

to leave now Tom I just I think it's something to take actually it's one of my happiest moments for every day. Tom, can you do, can you read next,

tomorrow night, can you read I've Lost My Hat rather than Lord of the Rings? Is that okay? Mate, I'd never, I'd never read Lord of the Rings. Lord of the Rings,

I've got so many, so much beef with that fucking franchise. Why? I don't know, just the way it ends. I know you've got an issue with the films not ending, but what's your problem with the books?

Yeah, but also, I've never even gone near the books. I didn't need to because the films were out, but as soon as I was aware of it, the films were there. I bet at school,

you're one of those kids who'd read all of Tolkien. No, I did read the whole bit. Oh, God. Oh, my. Fucking coming back. Coming back after the summer holidays

what did you do Ranganathan anything good yeah pretty much just read the whole of the Hobbit I did read the Hobbit it's because of the fucking dragon isn't it that's not sad to read a book about a dragon I just wasn't into that kind of shit there's a lot

the problem with that I'm not insulting Tolkien, Tolkien's great but there is a lot of like, if you're a kid there is a lot of problem with that I mean I'm about to I'm not insulting Tolkien Tolkien's great but there is a lot of like if you're a kid there is a lot of people sitting around a table blowing smoke rings and eating food

I mean that goes I watched the cartoon quite early on remember the original cartoon I used to love that man that was so cool yeah but if you read

yeah I get it the cartoon's cool but if you read the book you're a fucking I understand yeah I was just like I just thought like the book's not going to be as exciting as the cartoon. And look, the first film I loved. Second and third I thought were absolute jank.

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. Actually, I was saying the second actual one was all right. Which is the one where Gandalf comes back, you don't think, in the second one? I can't remember. Is it the second or third? He comes back a

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a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. so so you and you and cat are are cutting out sugar for a week yeah and replacing it with what i will say to you is you will find day two tough really stay hydrated wednesday make sure you snack yeah i've got these what have you got i'll actually make sure if he's got sugar in oh there we go what what is it what is it first of all like a uh mexican snack mix

oh there's sugar in that of course it fucking is it's a snack mix you dickhead yeah well i'll find yeah i'll get bits just like you're not cutting out all sugar you're cutting out added sugar right yeah added sugar and like so you can have fruit some fruits yeah yeah ones that aren't crazy with fructose yeah so like can you have a banana yeah yeah i've gone on every morning i look you know what more than anything i think it's going to be cutting out treats, overly sweet stuff that we have with everything. Even ketchup. Like this morning, I've had four portions of ketchup today.

You need to get hot sauce in your life, bro. I've got a selection of hot sauces at home. Can I tell you what I've really been getting into while I've been filming? Go on. Satsumas. Oh, wow. My God. What a treat.

Have you got a good supplier? Because a Satsuma, let me say it, a Satsuma is like, I think once you get a vein of Satsumas that are amazing, you're in a fucking great place, man. I am in such a purple patch for Satsumas on this shoot, man. And they're slightly bigger than a regular satsuma. Almost. You'd go, they're knocking on the door of being an orange, these satsumas.

Is that not a clementine? Is a clementine smaller than a satsuma? Fuck, maybe that is what I'm eating. Clementines are amazing, man. Clementines, I think you've found clementines in your life. Clementine's bigger than satsumas. Can somebody let me know, please? Let me just say something, right?

This is quite sad. In a way, it's quite emotional. I had a bad satsuma in about 2008, and it put me off satsumas until about a year ago. How was it bad? It was just really bitter and horrible. I remember, obviously, a satsuma is, every satsuma is like a little present, right?

But it's a present that could be from the gift of the gods or like from the devil's bollocks right so some of them are going to be incredible and like lovely and sweet and delicious and then get a real insight into grace's story time by the way and then sometimes you get um yeah you get like this bit a horrible one and that i had that satsuma and after having turned like it was covered you know this horrible gangly white bits you get on it yeah i hate that yeah that shit was like took for ages to because it was really stuck onto the segments so it took me a long time to get into the satsuma by the time we got there i was like this isn't worth it and i don't think i'll ever eat a satsuma again

yeah you know what's interesting about that is that happened to you in what year was that uh i think it was about 2013 about 2009 maybe 2000 and then when did you next when did you next eat a satsuma a year ago and then now i'm like we're not as rigorous as you yeah so that was a few years whereas i know for a fact that if you ate a Krispy Kreme that had dog shit on it, you'd have another one half an hour later. What I love about that, right? What I love about that is I fucking so saw the comedian you are there. Right? You had that fucking gag so loaded.

You got so fucking, your shoulders went back you were like fucking you literally look like in a boxing match where someone's like got into their corner and they're like in with a right hook and then up a cut and you've got this fight you come out your corner busting yeah yeah yeah way too i dropped this crispy Kreme line on him. But you're right. I probably would do that. Yeah. Right, should we do some emails, my guy? Let's do it, my G. I feel like... I'm liking the Adidas look today. It's nice.

Are you? Yeah, I like it. It looks good. Thanks. I do feel like... I really love the three-stripe, the sort of old-school track suits, man. But I'm starting to wonder if I look a bit tragic wearing them, Joe.

No, no, no, you look good. You look good, boy. You look good. Thanks once again to The Swan. Shout out, The Swan. Oh, listen, before we get into emails, can I just shout out, this is a bit self-indulgent, Charlie Ranganathan. Wow.

Okay, today. So it was his awards day for his football team today, right? Right. So I was filming today. Phone up Lisa. How did Charlie's awards day go? She goes, yeah. I said, what did he get?

She goes, he got the participation medal thing. And I said, is he all right? And she goes, he's a bit down like he thought he had a good season this season and I said alright and what did you say to him she goes I just said to him maybe next year or whatever and then I come in and Alex comes up to me and goes dad do you want to speak to Charlie

because he's a bit upset he wants to talk to you about his football so I go alright I go upstairs and I go he's sat on his bed looks really sad poor little shit and um i said to him you're right mate what happened at the football thing today he goes i didn't win a trophy and then i went oh mate well don't worry about it he goes i won two baby and he just he won he pulled out he did a little he's all a little prank organized with him and lisa and alex he won uh

players player of the season and most Improved Player of the Season. So well done. Oh, mate. I buzzed my tits. It's mad, isn't it? I buzzed my tits off. Mate, it's not mad at all. You know what that is?

That's good fathering. Yeah. Wasn't there for the awards thing because I was working. Turned up later to congratulate him. Yeah, but you know what? That's a great dash. I'm not letting you fucking

sit in a wallow of your own pity here do you know what was probably even more rewarding than winning the uh uh awards and that he'll talk about him and alex and lisa and yourself will talk about for years to come is the prank that they played because that genuinely they're the happy moments that you know i'm looking forward to in years to come again we kept doing pranks like that because dad was never there was he And he always fell for it. Silly bastard. Sometimes I think he was just pretending to fall for it because he felt so guilty about the fact he never was at home.

Something like that. And they won't be saying it to each other. They'll be saying it to a therapist. Anyway, let's do some emails. Oh, jeebus grievous. Anyway, this is from uh the otter yeah hello to the wolf house one and cat love the podcast keep them coming as i'm starting to run out as i oh before getting to email sorry this is just remind me sorry my brain's all over the fucking place today oh god i can't believe i said that

out loud anyway last week loads of people emailed in about the timid pigeon. And look, timid pigeon, I just want to say to you, first of all, loads of people think you're amazing for what you did. This is the story of the guy that saw a couple being… The legend. Yeah, receiving homophobic slurs. He stood up for them, told these idiots to fuck off, and then got a little bit of shit as a result of it.

And two things well in give first of all a load of people have come out in support for him and said you did an amazing thing so thank you for doing that and also a load of people emailed me to say uh to give me it was really nice i talked about the fact when i was racially abused in barnstable and a load of people said they don't represent us and please don't let that make you think but i had a load of people from the area emailing and say please don't think please don't judge our area because of that and i'm not it happened years and years ago it's like before i was i was supporting sean walsh on tour it was like years and years and years ago and obviously i don't hold the town accountable for like a couple of decades anyway uh the author says hello to the wolfhouse one and

cat love the podcast keeping because i'm starting to run out as i play catch up i'm after some advice i'm 33 with an amazing wife and young son i'm a lowly musician who makes a low but fairly decent amount from gigs intuition my wife on the other hand is a deputy head teacher and makes double what i make she also has far vast amounts of savings against my zero we keep our money separate and pay equally into a joint account for bills, etc. But she always said we should just combine incomes as we're a team. I understand this fully, but I don't want to seem like I'm living off my wife's earnings.

Buying equipment and various other things when she works so hard and I work part-time. I'll also include that I pick up a lot of the childcare during the week. Am I in the wrong here? Hope this makes sense. And sorry for the long email. It's not actually that long at all. Any advice would be appreciated.'re sincerely the otter oh um the otter i want to come flying straight out and say i think my friend i i think you should share your incomes and i think

that's fine to do i think that your wife sounds like an amazing person who's leveled up and said let's um let's let's share our incomes. She's not thinking about how much each of you earn. It's not that for her. It's a matter of just sharing what you do earn and putting it into one place. So you might have more of a healthy balance that's combined. I think, if I'm going to be quite honest, my old friend, I think there's probably a little bit of a male ego thing here uh and i think it's you you're slightly

worrying about the fact that you don't earn as much but i think that's sometimes sometimes something that we worry about more than the ladies in our life i think the fact of the matter is and i think she that's not bothering her clearly right it's only a matter if you make it a matter. And I think you kind of got to let that go, my friend. I get it. I completely understand it. I've been there. And I think that you have to know that you give her more than just financial sort of subsubstability.

I don't know what the fucking word I'm looking for as I'm tired. I liked you stumbling to make up a word. I like tired. I liked you stumbling to make up a word. But I think you give her more than that with everything you do. You're clearly a great dad. You pick up a, you know, I think as well the idea of sort of, I think I talked about this last week, but the idea of like this sort of old school sort of like, you know,

dad's picking up, you know, I try and do as much around the house as I possibly can just because I think it's bringing up children. I think you kind of got to do as much as, you know, obviously I can't do as much as Catherine because I work, but, you know, I try to do as much. And I think that's an old school view that the lady's there to do that and the man's there. I think that guys like you are inspiring.

So, look, you do a job you clearly get out you clearly enjoy let that go pull those bank accounts don't go crazy and start spending all our money on new guitars and shit because that would be out of order but um yeah just know that you're a good guy put a badge on you know an invisible badge every now and again just look down at your breastplate and just go, yeah, I'm doing all right. Really nice. Once again, Tom, it's just, I love to hear you. It's like just pouring warm, hot chocolate

into your ear or something. The otter, my attitude towards this is that, so the swan doesn't have a job. She occasionally, actually tomorrow tomorrow she's dipping into to do some drama stuff um at the kids primary school but she does that like as and when on an ad hoc basis but uh i don't have money she doesn't have money we have money that's how i see it is that we are a couple and so we earn the money do you mean it's not my money it's our money and and that's how we operate so i just uh i would go along what tom says you know pull your money

it's like you're a couple you're a team do you mean so don't worry about it um there was a clip i can't remember what show it's from and i'm about to slightly contradict myself where they were talking about and i think i think i saw a clip of steve harvey talking about this where he was saying his idea was is that you pay money into a joint account to cover bills and then you also have your own separate account where you have your own money so that you don't end up resenting each other that was his solution to it and like i guess if you two are not earning the same amounts of money the way that you could work that is by doing a percent do it on a percentage basis if she earns more than you a percentage a percentage of your income paying into the joint account is

probably the fairest way to do that as long as it covers the bills i mean i'm getting into semantics here but the point i'm trying to make is is you've got to work out whatever works for you tom's right you know i would put your ego and your issues of separation and who's earning what to one side and work out what's the best for you guys. It's different for everybody. Some people like to keep their money completely separate. Some people just think let's chuck it all in together and other people do something in between.

The truth is I don't think there is a real, there is a correct answer to that. But, you know, certainly from my point of view, I just think whatever's a correct answer to that but um you know certainly from my point of view i just think whatever money comes into the house is ours you know and um and and the reason i think that is because we've got three children and i would not be able to work as hard as i do and have three children that are so well put together if if if lisa wasn't doing as much as she does and so you know we're contributing to our lifestyle it's not just about income you know your standard of living isn't all down to money there's so many other things that come into that

and you're contributing in different ways it's not all material things so yeah you know i i think don't worry about it and do what works best for you would be my advice. And best of luck with it. Best of luck. How do you think we're doing Tom? The energy level is better than last time. Do you reckon we're moving into a situation where we could do evening ones? Evenings could be the way forward. Yeah.

Although how does it work in your home situation? Cause it is quite tricky for me. Yeah. I mean the early morning work in your home situation? Because it is quite tricky for me. Yeah, I mean, the early mornings, the nice Sunday morning chills, a little coffee, and then they're my favourite ones. Anyway.

Hey, Wolf, Owl and Swan, thanks for reading my email. I'm doing that because it added an exclamation mark at the end of that. I love the podcast. I'm a huge fan of you both. I'm a bit stand-up comedy obsessed,

so it's definitely my bucket list to see you both live. Well, I'll tell you what, if that is in your bucket list, I've got some great news for you yeah hit it up tommy d and roma schranger nathan are only doing some stand-up shows together at 21 soho when is it end of june end of june i think actually quite a lot of tickets have gone romsky no um but i think there's two dates still available okay so check it out tom rom smashing out the com uh okay anyway enough ask us and here's my question of the seven deadly sins pride greed lust envy wrath gluttony sloth which one do

you think you're most guilty of and which are you least guilty i mean come on this is one of the easiest questions to answer in the history yes yeah in the questions all the best golden retriever uh tommy d greed man oh hello greed uh i think yeah and and the greed is i'm actually probably Yeah, in the water. All the best, Golden Retriever. Tommy D. Greed, man. Oh, hello, Greed. I think, yeah. And Greed, and actually it'd probably be more gluttony. That's eating, right?

Yeah, gluttony. So hold on, what is the difference between greed and gluttony? I think greed's more about financial stuff and... Oh, okay, fine. Having more... Yeah, I'm not that guy. Gluttony's more... Yeah.

I think I'm quite gluttony. Like eating would probably be the the main one yeah glutton um let me just have a look at what they are again sloth wrath envy lust greed pride yeah so glutton yeah i think i don't think i'm particularly proud i think i don't think as a comedian you can be too proud yeah it's shame one shame would it's shame no i don't think it is is it shame would be shame would be out there for me yeah it's self-hate one i think and i don't think i'm not particularly en. Well, I don't think I'm an envious person. What I would say is, though, just with regards to that is,

when I started doing, when you started doing stand-up, I do remember, I've got to be honest, I did feel envious of people that were, like, making progress quicker than me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. And it's something I had to, I actually realised really quickly that, well, I'd like to think I realised really quickly

that no good can come from that. That only leads to misery, do you know what I mean? Just being envious of somebody else's position or whatever. But I remember like thinking, I'm trying to get on and then people I was sort of gigging with were getting breaks and stuff like that. And you sort of think, you don't not wish it to happen for them, but you do find yourself going

fuck man is that ever going to happen for me and i think that's envious and you've got to push that out i think the sins are only the sins that if you if they if you can't get a hold of them right yeah i guess so like you exactly you're talking about that i think everyone's been through that and i think like from the moment like when you leave school or whatever and people i remember when your mates are going to uni i didn't go to uni and all like you saw i was envious of the fact that people were going away and doing something with their lives and i was stuck back in a place where i was essentially living living in groundhog day for sort of the four years that they all went away and you know those who kept in contact um

and didn't go off and find amazing other friends uh that's you know that was a constant thing there you know so i said like you're gonna have these things i think but in the question of the one that i'd say gluttony is the one where i'm like i'm a gluttonous person i like greed isn't a thing for me i don't i'm not worried i don't i'm not a greedy person i think i i want to have enough to live a life that i think's right but i don't think i've got to have everything i don't look at other people and go i need that i need this that's good because that's what you realize i think quite quickly is and like me and you but from very similar backgrounds and i think when you first have any kind of success and you have any sort of money that comes in you sort of i think there's a

period that you probably go through where you because you didn't have money as a child you go all right if i can buy this and i buy i can buy that and you're sort of trying to replace some sort of childhood unhappiness or some deep-seated idea that even as a kid that wouldn't have made you happy like greed is a you know as a just a it's very nature of like you know i look at the you know i won't know you because i've actually recently gotten some trouble for naming people on this podcast but uh when i was a kid i used to have you yeah no no i told someone contact me because i mentioned their name and i felt a bit bad and um that's so weird because you're so careful with that aren't you that stuff yeah no yeah so

so i remember a kid who who like had every like me and you are both obsessed with mass toys right yeah when we were kids this kid had every mask toy it was amazing right it was incredible to go to his house but he had just he was just never happy he was like you know and once like yeah then he wanted star wars or whatever he met. He'd always have all the toys. And I think that's the thing, right? So I think if you can envy, greed, any of these things, if you can get on top of them and go, right, that's just not a natural way of feeling.

It's trying to, you know, gluttony is the only one I'd probably say that I struggle with. I'd say sloth is an issue for me as well. Are you joking? What? You're probably one of the most like driven hard-working people i've ever met in my life well that's very i appreciate you saying that but but what i would say to you is i do for that's because i do enjoy what i do like people's people i have this said to me quite a lot is that oh you've got a good work ethic but i don't think i do. I'm a lazy person,

but I just think I really like what I do. I do think that. Yeah. I disagree there. I'm afraid to say you, you don't get to where you've got without being out working. No, but I enjoy what I do.

That's all well and good. Right. That's all well and good, but it takes hard work. I know how, cause I sit in a place where I know how much hard work it takes. It takes hard work. I know how, because I sit in a place where, I know how much hard work it takes. It takes hard work to get where we're getting,

right? You could only do that if you work hard. And yeah, look, we're blessed. Me and you are blessed. We both, but then when we didn't do this for a job,

right, you might not have loved what you did before, but did you get up every day and go and do it? Because you had to. Yeah, but yeah, but I didn't, you know.

No, no, no, you did this. What I'm saying is it's not about like, did you enjoy it? Did you get up every day and go and do it because you had to yeah but yeah but i didn't you know no no no you did this is what i'm saying it's not about like did you enjoy it did you get up every day yeah but when i was when i was when i was working in the point i'm trying to make is i was like a cost analyst for an airline caterers right yeah and i got up every day i went there but i wasn't fucking staying there longer than i had to i wasn't when i did it yeah but i was i was doing whatever the fucking minimum was to get away. Do you know what I mean? I was the same on the building site, but I still got up and did it. So a sloth attitude would be that you're not going to do anything. Okay, but a sloth attitude also is,

if I wasn't living with Lisa and I had a day off, I don't even know if I'd leave the bed. Do you know what I mean? I would, the night before, put enough snacks for me to survive. I'd find some way that I could sort of piss and shit without having to get up. Oh, you wouldn't do that, would you? No, I wouldn't do that.

But I mean, I'm sort of exaggerating for... I can just see you just living in a grotty little hotel. Mate, no, but that's the other thing, Tom. So I can make a nice hotel room, messy and horrible, so quick. So quick, man. Yeah, because I live in a house that is so, like, Catherine is so, I mean, I've got to a point now,

but I've become so obsessed with, like, cleaning up. It's ridiculous at the moment. Because I have a serious problem with, like, I suppose it's addictive, right? I can't do things to a small level like so when grace was born and everything katherine what i really need you to give me that be more helpful around the house because you leave shit everywhere you you've done it so i took that as being i needed so now katherine pulled me up the other day she was like you've

become so obsessed with cleaning and doing these chores and jobs. I write lists. Never happy this one, initially. No. Be careful what you wish for, cat. You wanted it, now you got it. You got a guy with a problem. Oh yeah, she's got a guy with a few. But yeah, gluttony. And what a great

question. Great question. Thank you, Garden Retriever. And thank you, Swan, for selecting it. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetosoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show?

Meet my hand-selected staff as they work live and play at chateau roosevelt their job is to provide once in a lifetime experiences for our guests and of course they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes vanderpump villa has first class luxury and world-class drama i'll be there will you vanderpump villa premieres april the 1st streaming on disney plus okay um so this is from the blue tit wow firstly i want to say thank you for the great podcast and fun chat my mum got me into the pod by playing it when we're driving to watch football together now it's a nice tradition we have when we're in the car for a couple of hours together it brings

us a lot of joy i'm now an independent listener listener to the pod and have just finished making my way through the archive, so thanks for this. You're going to love this, what I'm about to say to you. I found myself saying wowsers in general life, which I've inherited from hearing Wolf say it on the podcast. I didn't realise it. Honestly, Blue Tit, I can't explain to you how disgusting the Wolf's demeanor is at hearing that

he sort of sat back just so delighted with himself um i didn't even realize he's becoming part of my lexicon until a friend pointed out either of you found yourself accidentally picking up sayings and phrases from other people and can't help using them keep up the excellent work you sweet sweet souls love the blue tit um lesson in blue tit um number one i'd like to just yeah if you can feel something on your shoulder right now it's my hand just i'll put my arm around you just to say thank you but when it comes to sayings and stuff i am a wolf on the sheep so i make up a lot of these myself i own them i ride with them they're from my heart and my soul every now and again i'll hear someone one of my cool friends like romesh uh will say something

where i'm like oh that's kind of cool um but do i take it no if i'm honest with you i i sort of i like to sort of go my own way i think i was one of the first people to really smash my guy as well and i think a lot of people that is a hell of a claim that is fucking hell that is a claim i really do you think you came with my guy i know i think i was one of the people to now as you know jamie redknapp avid listener of the podcast yeah you what do you think jay is going to say when he hears that i think jay would tell you that i was a real push of my guy. My guy. Do you know who? Hold on.

Are you suggesting that you started saying it before Jamie read that? I think there was a moment in our history when me and him, yeah, we came together and that was sort of probably that hazy summer. That's not the question I'm asking. I think I maybe did. You sound like one of the Tories on Good Morning Britain right now. I think I maybe did. I think we spent a lot of time together in the summer of My Guy.

Okay. Right. I think he maybe hit the My Guy vibe of just like My Guy. But I think I pushed the My Guy. I pushed the tone of it a little bit more okay all right well what i think i'm gonna do is i think uh maybe we get jay what we're gonna do is i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna ask jay to come on and verify yeah we'll have a little chat with jay yeah you know as well because on the next episode let's get listen okay let's do this we're gonna ask jay if you're gonna come on the next podcast and we's get... Listen, okay, let's do this. We're going to ask Jay if he's going to come on the next podcast

and we'll finally get this My Guy thing put together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. I think it was me. I think I came up with it. Okay. I think most people would say that, with me, that there was an air of like...

Look, it's a bit like, you know, Bob Dylan, right? He sang some amazing songs. Other people have sung them better. What does that mean? Well, it's like sometimes, Elvis Presley, he's fucking,

he did a lot of covers, but fucking a lot of them were better than the original people who sung them. Whitney Houston, I Will Always Love You. Right. Who sang the original?

Dully Parton, was it? Yeah, yeah, but which is better? I don't know. Yeah, exactly.

I don't really like either of them, to be honest with you. I'm just saying, right? Right. Right? But I don't understand what the, exactly. I don't really like either of them, to be honest with you. I'm just saying, right? Right. Right? But I don't understand what the point is you're making. Are you Dolly Parton or are you Whitney Houston?

I'm probably Whitney Houston in a lot of ways. Right. So you didn't come up with my guy? No, no, but I made it sexy and cool. Okay. So it's just impossible to know what you're fucking saying. No, I think I came up with it when me and Jane, we were away in Rotterdam, I reckon it was about.

So you did come up with it? I think I did. You did come up with it? I think I did. Or you didn't? I think he had a small thing where he said, my guy, once or twice. But it was no, it was just like a tiny little thing.

And I think I exaberated it. Jesus Christ. I think get Jamie on and let's just have that chat with Jamie. Yeah, let's see. We'll get Jamie on. We'll get Jamie on. He's been on that.

Didn't we play him into the podcast before about that whole fucking I'm going water thing? Yeah, I think we did. Yeah, yeah. But we'll actually get him on properly this time. Okay, fine. Let's do that.

Okay. That's going to be fucking fun trying to work around his schedule, your schedule. Yeah, that's brilliant. I mean, if you thought it was difficult getting the Wolf and Al together for a fucking podcast,

let's see if Jamie can... What would be his name? I suppose fox i'm let's ask him in fact let's ask him when he comes on we'll get him on and let's um okay this could be so funny but next week's episode we're just wiping egg off our face where jamie's told us to go fuck ourselves it'll be quite it could be quite a new way of just like really pushing our brand and having like new people just coming on to settle debates yeah or it's just a one-off thing and we can't be asked to ever organize anything like that again yeah i think i know which one it's gonna be it depends how much effort it takes on your part to get jamie on yeah

okay tommy d yo it's time for you to take us out of the Woof It Out podcast. Yo. Okay. Simon Guttenberg was a good man, one of the best men in all of the land. And one sweet, sweet summer, he headed to the party destination that was Las Vegas. that was Las Vegas. Simon, for all of his sweet, sweet sentiments, was terrible in chatting up ladies and women. He often found himself tongue-tied and thought

maybe he wasn't sexy enough or maybe he wasn't handsome enough. So what he decided to do is make sure he would smell amazing. And he went to a perfumery and he brought some um tom ford for the first night he went out there he goes out that night he's hanging around with tom ford just trying to get people to smell him to get them to like him and yeah he leaves that night with a kiss or any kind of romantic endeavor. So the next night he goes and he gets a little bit of Sauvage. And he goes out, he has a little bowl around. Still no one's interested.

He tries to talk to a couple of people and get them to smell him. The third night, he decides not to go with any aftershave at all. He goes on that trail. As soon as he gets into a place, he just goes up and starts chatting to a woman. He says, hi, I'm Simon. And she says, yo, how are you doing? He's like, yeah, yeah.

And they get on really fine. Have a little dance together, a few drinks. He takes her number and her romance blossoms. It strikes Simon at 3 a.m that morning that he put so much pressure on the fact that he'd smell good that he didn't think about actually just putting himself and relaxing the truth of the matter is however we dress ourselves up with colognes and perfumes and nice clothing and glamorous handbags or one of those man bags that you see all the cool geez wearing these now even a sleeve toe you can dress all these things up but maybe the thing that should smell the best is the person who resides inside of you we can work hard on our appearance.

Let's work hard at who we are as well. Like Simon Gutenberg always would say from that day, you know, the thing that smells best about me is my voice within. Really nice. I mean, Simon Gutenberg had a great night there and you sort of... It sounds like...

I mean, another interpretation of that story would be Simon Gutenberg bought some new aftershave and it really worked out for him.... I mean, another interpretation out of the story would be Simon Guttmacher bought some new aftershave and it really worked out for him. No, he didn't work out for him because the time he went out with none, he didn't put any on, that's when he got lucky. Oh, sorry, I didn't follow the story. I noticed you were drifting off a little bit. These stories only work if you listen to all of them, Rob.

Yes, sorry. I'm so sorry. It's like Ozark, isn't it um okay um guys thank you so much for listening to the wolf and owl uh we we love you oh yo one last thing um check out the wolf and owl um instagram page for a really cool uh competition that's coming up somewhere this week um romesh is planning it it's going to be amazing there's going to be a chance to get some signed merchandise um maybe uh as a part of the competition i will write you a psalm or some sort of like advice don't don't don't don't just wait and see if you've actually got time to do that um can i just say when we posted up about the burrito bar t-shirts a couple of people went

order now for delivery christmas 2026 i just want to say in relation to that we are and i understand why people said that because we had some stock issues and delivery issues we are no longer involved in the merchandise i mean we're involved in obviously okaying the designs and stuff like that but we are not in charge of delivery anymore. So don't worry about it. Yeah, that is now completely like you'll be ordering it from a proper store. Essentially, me and Romesh regressed to being a pair of shit kickers from Council Estate selling T-shirts from the back of an old...

That went badly. Right, guys, have a lovely a lovely lovely week we'll see you next week take care remember keep it wolf keep it out you'll hear me roar hear him or you can how i tried to do a catchphrase okay peace out bye-bye if you have a problem, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you,

mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.