Wolf and Owl - Ep 73: Crap Raps & A Solid Night’s Sleep

Episode Date: June 1, 2022

We’re talking…. cringeworthy rapping, overenthusiastic hecklers, hen and stag parties, sleep help from the night ninja, spring-clean-itus, the parable of the new neighbour, panel show pilots and celebrity freebies. Plus, email questions on pursuing an ex-boyfriend and finding a compromise with your partner on food treats. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection. Free of aluminum, aluminum parabens dyes

talc and baking soda it's made with ph balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing

All you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Okay, welcome to the wolf and owl Yo, yo, one, one soars down and one runs fast A wolf, a owl, they're gonna have a laugh

Don't ever, ever do that again why why what's well i quite like that vibe that's the sort of thing that i get asked to do on panel shows a lot right i'll do so yeah they'll go um so we're thinking you could just maybe do a rap about your experiences on the show. You could either pre-write it or have a think on the time. And then what happens is in the past, because I got nervous and I didn't want to be a difficult guest, I would say, yeah, okay. Oh, no, you didn't, did you?

No, I have done it a couple of times. Hey, oh my gosh, play to the whistle. Really spiky. A bit like a thistle. Talking about football with Frank Lampard. Sometimes, I've got to be honest, it's quite hard. Or some shit like that. I've just made that up. You should have got Dave Spikey as a guest. Yeah, that would have been ideal.

And then it ends, and then you get a round of applause because you've stopped rapping. And then in your heart, in your heart, you know that was absolutely fucking awful. You've done it quite a few times on League of Their Own, haven't you? Oh God, I have done it on League of Their Own. I've done it once on League of Their Own. I did do it once on League of Their Own haven't you oh god I have done it on League of Their Own I've done it once

I did do it once on League of Their Own but the Stormzy one was actually pretty cool to be fair it looked incredible well that was

should we be absolutely honest about that the reason it looked incredible was because the production values it was nothing that the

oh yeah yeah yeah but you both looked in costume you looked good as well if I was going to release a rap song or like a sort of hip-hop sort of funky tune i think it would go i'd do something like yo rami's got a big dick but he

don't know what to do with it do you know do you know i know that you think that the rapping was cringe but i cringed when you said hip-hop funky tune Yeah, but that's what I want out of it. I want a hip-hop funky tune. How would you, as a connoisseur, as like, you're like the Grace Dent of hip-hop, right? In music, right? How would you describe a really cool tune you liked a really edgy tune you liked i don't know let's go that's a really good like i know you put pictures up and

it's like now within the community of hip-hop it's kind of cool if you put a picture up of a song you like it's just i think you know you know sometimes when um you watch like uh sort of nature shows and they're set in the plains where you see lions and then you see the lion get excited when one of the gazelles is injured or something like that. That's the kind of vibe that you've got now where you've decided to open up on this hip-hop thing

and you're sort, you sort of, you're sort of circling, just thinking I'm going to, I'm about to fucking go for this in throat now. I just, uh, just like getting sort of poor. You've sort of injured my leg.

I'm sort of limping a bit. You're pouring at me a little bit. Knowing that you're going to, by the way, I can't believe I dropped the C bomb in that context. It was so brutal. Apologies. Apologies.

Apologies. Get it beeped out. But, um, listen, man, I couldn't, I couldn't listen-bomb in that context. It was so brutal. Apologies. Apologies. Apologies. Get it beeped out. But listen, man. I called an... Listen, I've got to say this. I'm in York at the moment, right? I called an audience member a **** within a minute of the show starting. Yeah, bad.

Really bad. Bad form for me. Wow. Really bad form. What happened? Was it the heckler? He sort of heckled quite innocently. But it was an overexcited heckle.

I had it the other night when I was gigging in Cambridge. I was comparing, and in the second half, there's just this guy who, I wouldn't even call it heckling, he just was so over-familiar, so chatty in the front row. And actually, not saying anything harsh, but it was like three times he interjected before punchlines with his own punchline and it's like it was a big big audience it was like a lot of people there but it was like genuinely like i'm gonna have to kind of deal with this because otherwise it's just

gonna happen all night so i sort of like started chatting to him and tried to sort of like say look you know let's have a chat about you get everything out about you because you clearly want to make tonight about you and um he was just so vanilla and sort of quite bathed but you know you're so excited just to be there i felt so harsh yeah but then also on the you there with a job to do i mean well within the minutes quite i know that was that was well well to be fair i got away with it because it wasn't i didn't say it in a really aggressive way. But as soon as I said it, I thought that's it. Because I think that is like a, that is a break glass in case of emergency words. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

Well, look, touch wood, on this tour, I've not had a horrible heckle. When you used to do the clubs, you'd get like heckles where people were just like, they would just say something to throw you off or whatever. But these heckles, I think, are people being overexcited but like like your bloke there that you're talking about who's actually probably not trying he's not trying to be disruptive but he doesn't get it that like that it's not helping i think there's people making that heckling thing like it's a part of the job it's like singing along to a song and it's not i had

it i had it once in i was doing a show in leicester and this bloke would not, I was comparing, it wasn't even a show. I mean, it was a show, but it was a mixed bill show I was hosting. And this guy was like shouting, shouting, shouting. Like every time I said something, he'd get involved. And I was like absolutely like really laying into him. And like, it was like, it wasn't awkward.

It was funny, but he made my job a lot harder that night, right? Because every time I said something, he would get involved and blah, blah, blah blah and i just wanted to move the show on and wanted to get the ax on and stuff like that but most of my time on stage was spent dealing with him and then afterwards i came off and i was like you know literally going to the other acts fucking hell that bloke was difficult and he comes up to me goes that was amazing wouldn't you and me just like bouncing back and forth off each other. And he thought it was like, he thought he was like contributing to the show.

And I was like, mate, that was a nightmare for me. I didn't say that. I absolutely didn't say that. That would have been awful. But, you know, when people, that bloke that was talking to you, he doesn't realise and people don't realise. And you have to, you don't have to bear that in mind as a comic. Like sometimes, I don't know if this happened to you with this bloke, but the times when it's really i find it really sort of annoying i guess or just upsetting for the crowd or for the show is when you you know you build up that tension of the setup and you're

just about to drop the punch line and somebody says something right because what they do is like they're taking the air out of the bubble, the balloon that you've just blown up, right? And so like, you basically, you can't say this to them because it would just be so wanky. But basically what you want to say to them is, you've sort of ruined all the work I've done up to that point. You know what it's a bit like?

All of this routine was builded up to this and then you just like stepped on it. But they don't know. You can't be like that. They don't know. But also it's a bit like, you know, at the fair you get those things where you've got the little loop and you've got the metal thing that you just pull it all around right yeah it's like if you're doing that yeah

and you're going through all of that and just as you get to the end some prick runs up and tickles you right yeah that's essentially what it is like that's a great description talking about it just before uh we came on air but i don't think yesterday we're on air on air oh just before we came on air, but I don't think yesterday we were... On air? On air. Oh, no. Before we came on air? Oh, God. Genuinely, that's the... I actually feel like my stomach's just fucking dropped out my arsehole.

That's the... I feel so fucking on air. God. You know what I feel there? Old. I feel old. Well, what I've realised now is you think these go out live. I feel so old saying that.

I can cross the old man. Thanks for, listen, thanks for tuning in to the Wolf and Owl podcast. All right, I was saying just before we started the podcast that my pal phoned me up, a group of mates yesterday and they were asking for tickets to go and see you but they were already proper wavy when they called, they were like steaming and he couldn't get

his head around why I wouldn't sit like that you'd be like, look what you needed in your gig last night was a backup of five smash blokes who were on a weekend during York actually steaming one of the things I didn't realise about York

first of all what a beautiful place what a place man what I did not realise I went for lunch yesterday with a couple of friends and shout out the sauce vegan restaurant in York insane I had like this VFC and shout out the Sauce vegan restaurant in York.

Insane. I had like this VFC Zinger burger, which was unreal. I had Frickles, which were deep fried battered pickles. Unbelievable. Wow, that sounded amazing. Yeah, and I had a vegan eaten mess for dessert.

I mean, I only had a bit of it because I was really full up. I just had it for the taste. But great restaurant. Anyway, that's not the reason. Was it? Were the meringues made out of chickpeas or something? That is how they make meringues. I think it's aquafaba, isn't it? Yeah, it's aquafaba.

The chickpea water. It sounds absolutely right. Actually, you know what? They make incredible meringues. I've got to shout out chickpea water for them. But what I didn't realise was how staggy and henny York can be on a weekend. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I would say there were loads of Hendy's.

So many, man. It was crazy. Yeah. It's just like, literally, I came out at lunch. This is so boring what I'm talking about.

Anyway, I went to get some throat recovery tea because my voice is going up. Okay. And as I walked to Holland and Barrett, 20 women walked past me wearing plastic glasses

with penises on the front. You know what? That's one group. I was genuinely worried that hen-doos and stag-doos were losing their edge. Oh, good, I know. I know. You're so passionate about hen and stag-doos, aren't you?

No, yeah, but I worry that they're going to get too classy. What do you mean? But, you know, the penis glasses and the sort of, like, guy running around with it. You like the penis glasses? Yeah, yeah. And the penis glasses and the sort of, like, guy running around with it. You like the penis glasses? Yeah, yeah. And the inflatable black doll that sort of gets thrown around and, you know, invariably ends up in bed with the most drunk guy.

Right? Yeah. I think they're important parts of sort of stag and hen do's. I think there should, you know, look, there should be an embarrassing story about someone at each of these things for the wedding. I really disagree. What? I mean, I really strongly disagree. story about someone at each of these things for the wedding i just i really disagree i mean i i

really strongly disagree but i mean look i the truth is you and i both know of the two of us i am very much the wet blanket of the group right look you we all know part you're on well there's a fucking guy here who fucking hits up a car he drives around in a ferrari now that's a better rap. That's a better funky tune. I'll bet you cut zip and you flow wild. I do.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy having a few drinks and stuff, but that was... Is that more stereotypical? Can I just say, by the way, I was genuinely worried that me saying about us being on air was going to be the cringiest thing that either of us said on this podcast until you came flying in double-footed and said,

no, don't worry, I can beat that with... No, I do enjoy having a couple of drinks and stuff, obviously. Now, listen, listen. Listen, I have a couple of drinks with the best of them. And sometimes I've been known to swear more than usual and say a couple of things about friends that they weren't that keen on. But whether it's at home with Leitra or the kids, or on a stag do, you can always guarantee the party

won't be a bed by 10.30. Yeah. But I'm going to just say this now, and I know this is an insult to the very core of who you are the the the embarrassing pranks thing can just fuck off really i can't stand it i can't stand it i just i don't find it funny when it's being done to someone else i certainly don't find it funny when it's done to me you haven't got where you're married now it's done to the only time now is when yeah but yeah but i still have an empathy for the poor fucking guy that's having an

apple core stuffed up his arse when we go on Theo's Stag Do that's going to be where it's like you are not listen let me tell you

something now you're not coming on Theo's Stag Do and if that kid's got any sense I'm not going on his Stag Do either mate it would be so

fucking cool if we were all there for him like my mate James right he had all of his like his dad's friends were there it was like there's different generations different people bringing different flavors to the stag do yeah i always like it when i see a stag do and i go oh my god he's invited his dad and his dad's mates that's pretty funny one of the worst memories of my life is uh being in the same room as my father when a stripper turned up.

Was that in the pub? Yeah, that was in the pub. I can't remember what it was for. I think a mate was having like, you know sometimes people have two stag do's or they have like one where, well, it doesn't matter, but people do have two stag do's. And like one of this guy's stag do's was at my dad's pub and then this this stripper turned up as a surprise thing and just i just i reckon i looked at my dad's face more than i did the stripper

just to see i just did i just wanted to it's like driving past a car crash do you mean i sort of the fear of seeing what my dad's like when he's sort of visually aroused. Just as a quick one as well, if we are going to go to any of Theo's or any of the boys, Alex or Charlie, if we're going to go to their stag do's, make sure that we get invited to both, not just the English ones.

Yeah, I'm sure they're like, just Theo and his group of mates just trying to enjoy a stag do and us going, no, we used to do a podcast actually big big it was we had merch we did live shows yeah as theo mentioned it oh he hasn't no no i am his dad yeah no i am his dad no no he's my mate tommy what did he say he didn't say that weird old security guard who's turned up. Weezy old man. Now, Tom, listen, I don't like to do handbrake turns in this podcast, but Night Ninja, talk to me. Yeah, can I just shout out someone? Incredible. Amazing. So we last, I'd say, maybe for the

last month, we've been struggling quite a lot with Gracie's sleep. Like literally doing little 45-minute, half an hour sleeps, wakes, freaks out, can't get back down to sleep for about another hour or so. It's been hard. So shout out to our friend, James Gill, Gilly, the Gillmeister, put me in touch with the Night Ninja. And my word, within five, six days, an absolute game changer. Like last, I feel like literally back to myself today. I mean, look, I don't touch with it last and last.

And what she does is set you up with a sleep plan that can work. But yeah, man, it's like Grace last night, well, this morning, I had to wake Grace up at 20 past seven because she was trying to sleep in on a Sunday. Yeah. Why did you have to wake her up? Well, I had to get up and just 20 past 7 because she was trying to sleep in on a Sunday why did you have to wake her up? well I had to get up you can't let her sleep she might have slept until like 8 or 9

she wakes up but the thing about it I don't want to really get into the the worst thing you can do I've had the habit of doing is listening to stuff when I'm not an expert and then trying to take that you don't want a half arse i'd say to any parents out there who

are struggling get in touch she's jet it's it's it's not a really really expensive thing it's not at all and i've by the way this isn't a product i've paid for this it's a service i've paid for it's a yeah tom listen just to be absolutely correct Tom has paid for this via a series of Instagram posts alright so please can you not

no I've paid for this she's someone who's making her way in the world and I think she's genuinely like amazing to deal with

really cares so I'd say that if you are struggling and it is a struggle as well me and Catherine spent quite a long time where we were

we didn't want to get someone to come in and help because we were worried about asking for help and we were trying to sort of think, oh, it'll be another day or another two days and we'll turn a corner and days became weeks and it started affecting our relationship, started affecting my work. It got to a place, because sleep's so important.

I think that's the thing that you sort of, like, when you're not getting a full night at all, you're literally getting an hour here and an hour there. It's different from, oh, I've only had four or five hours, literally getting an hour. You know, so, you know, the little lady is smashing sleep now. I mean, yeah, she's a little rascal. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without the prep or wait time.

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one of this is being brought home to me by the fact i've been in this hotel i've had to get up because i've got tour shows in the evening i mean i've got up for the podcast but like i can't i'm just not good at sleeping. They call it sleep hygiene. I think my sleep hygiene's bad. There is people who do it, man. Yeah, I need to get my sleep game. You know what I thought?

Listen, even if I don't have something to get up for. So basically, during the sitcom, I've been getting up at five every morning. And so as that happens over the weeks, you sort of get more and more tired i mean you look forward to having a full you know not having to get up at that time and then i just get up at that time anyway or i'm up through the night or whatever it's mad it's crazy there is people that do it man like even this morning i was like you gotta say i was up at like four past six half six six, just because that's, you know, and both Catherine and Grace stepped through to about, oh yeah, three, five past half seven. And then someone that probably was down to me waking him because I was actually so jealous.

And maybe I was just really pissed off that I was the only one in the house just sitting up with coffee inside of him. And I was just actually, maybe my piece of shit elements to my personality have just sort of poured out. Oh, God, what is going on here? I don't know, maybe I'm in a meltdown.

What are you doing? You know, I felt like I was looking for a word that I couldn't find. And I couldn't even make one up that felt like that word I was looking for. I was like, it's like looking for a pair of trainers that I love, and I couldn't quite find them. Oh, my God. But speaking of which, by the way, It's like looking for a pair of trainers that I love, and I couldn't quite find them. Oh, my God. Speaking of which, by the way,

the number of times I've been looking for a specific shirt or jacket and can't find it, and then that becomes an obsession for me. I don't know. If I'm going out, right, if I set my mind on wearing a specific shirt and I can't find it in the moment i've got loads of other shirts i could just put on one of those and go i i delay leaving because i suddenly become obsessed with where this might have got to and and the the theories i entertain as to what might have happened uh the other day i asked lisa she'd thrown any of my clothes out without telling me um but yeah i just i just can't get past it i i have to find that thing before i get

ready and then and then sometimes i don't even end up wanting to wear it yeah when you put it on you don't feel like it works anyway with what you're wearing yeah or i become obsessed with finding this thing i did a big wardrobe clear out the other day did you yeah um you know what i actually feel i know that it's probably a bit late but the weather's been all over the place but i think spring clean spring cleanitis has come to me what does that mean? well I cleared out the garage yesterday

feel fucking absolutely like outstanding by that like genuinely like fucking buzzing got a big skip just got stuck in so I just threw loads of old shit away

that we've been hoarding and holding on to really? yeah but then we've got new neighbours as well we've got a person who's worked moved like two or three doors up and um i did that thing to try and look cool this is actually really yeah so he um he's moving in and at the front everyone yesterday was at the front

of their houses right because there's a new neighbor come new neighbors coming in so people have all of a sudden people are washing cars, mowing lawns. People are fucking tended, just doing shit that I haven't done. Right. Um, so I make this observation to Catherine. We have a bit of a laugh about it. Right.

Um, I'm like, look at everyone out. No, you fuckers. Cause you know, anyway, the guy comes down,

says hello. He's like, Oh, hi man. I'm moving to cut doors in. I was like, Oh yeah. Yeah.

I said, um, everyone saw the moving van. I see. And now everyone's out the front of the house having a little look. And he went, is that why you got a skip? Right?

Absolute fucking mic drop. Oh, mate, yeah, fucking absolute, yeah, fucking nailed me. Right? And I just sort of went, no, no, no, no, we had this booked in for ages. And then he sort of laughed, and he was clearly having a bit of banter. Good guy for banter. In my mind, though. It's Lee Mack moved in two doors, Andrew.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good guy for banter. In my mind, though... It's Lee Mack moved in two doors. In my mind, though, I'm like, this guy's now fucking... He's put me in with everyone else in the neighbourhood. Of course he has, yeah. Because he did that classic thing of... You did a really dick move of trying to separate yourself from the rest of the street and elevate yourself like a fucking cool cat.

Oh, hello, mate. What's up with this lot? Even though I'm talking to you out the front here exactly like them but i'm trying to separate myself so you try you tried to basically fucking absolutely throw the rest of the street under the bus yeah and it's back and now i look yeah but i and i look worse than anyone because i'm the one who's sort of it reminds me of when um Idris Elba takes over at the American office and, like, old Jim's trying to ingratiate himself with him and he just completely fucking backfires. You know that's the trouble, though, isn't it?

It's like when you are in a situation, it's best to stand together with everyone. Yeah, I mean, that's a great lesson. What a lovely way of taking what you've done and using it as a lesson for all it's like a parable yeah yeah that's probably how jesus works in it yeah it probably is right when you look at the bible as as a whole book like it feels quite like oh this is fucking a lot this is this is big even for you to step into this territory but go on you look at you go

fucking hell that lot happened to him but actually but you look at it and go, fucking hell, that lot happened to him. But actually, when you look at it, it's very small stories that, when put together, actually go, oh, actually, fucking hell, that's a better way of living your life. Yeah, that would be a nice little parable. There was a man stood outside front of his house and a new neighbour perched up upon his land and this man said upon to him,

oh, the whole street stand outside uh to welcome your arrival i believe they're nosy and gossips and the neighbor replied to the man but hence do you not stand with the street that's exactly that's exactly the line i had to jump because it's such a good line you'd set up there. We work in a synergy. No, we don't work in a synergy. You're the type of prick that fucking ruins people's bits on panel shows. I've seen your type before, mate. Have you ever done that on a panel show?

I've done it by accident and fucking regretted it really badly. I did it early on. Because the thing is, when somebody's telling a a story you want to help them out right and and like a lot of people do want to help people out right so not help them out but you know i mean you you sort of like you just ask questions do you know i mean but sometimes when you ask a question you're asking a question because you're interested and then you end up fucking like saying the saying the punchline by Mr. I've done that before. Awful. Mate, do you know the worst time? And I hope, because I know he listens to this, and he's one of both of our dear friends, and I love him,

is the worst time I ever saw that happen was, like, really early on in our careers. Me and Ian Sterling were booked to do this. I think it was BBC Three or ITV2 panel2 panel show where you know like yeah the crossover had started of like you'd have our generation of comedians but we'd be on with reality stars yeah and um like ian was on one team that doesn't really does that still happen i don't know but it was an awful time man it was a it was so fucking like yeah anyway in he was on the team i was you know he was on a team with spencer matthews uh from made in chelsea and in in he was on the team i was you know he was on a team with spencer matthews

uh from made in chelsea and in basically he was doing a bit that was really i'd seen him do it and it was a funny story and i was like oh fucking hell he's gonna nail this because it's a great bit that he's got and he's managed to get us into this show right and through the hot we were going back basically to to people fucking heckling spent like soan i'm not even going to try and do in accent but um he would be telling the story get into a bit and spencer matthews would interject with the next bit of the story because he could he could sort of see where it was going or like sort of right and then ian was going oh yeah thanks spencer and he'd go no problem it's like a double act isn't it and you could see Ian getting more and more annoyed right and then like Ian got to the punchline

and the punchline obviously because Ian's a fucking stand up comedian good storyteller was completely fucking at odds with where the story had been going

and it was like Spencer went with the way that he thought this would end like the route one yeah the route one interjected right at the punchline

and completely fucking killed Ian's story and I remember seeing like seeing there like looking at like my heart one yeah the root one interjected right at the punchline and completely fucking killed in story and i'm seeing like sitting there like looking at like my heart just going out for it and i remember me and ian went out for drinks after we were both like is this what tv is now like like you've got to basically sit there and like no one fucking stopped and went spencer mate let him have his mo like everyone in this fucking room and everyone on TV knows you, Spencer Matthews, because you're a fucking reality star. At the time, me and Ian Sterling were literally just coming off the circuit.

Let him have his moment. Let him have his moment. Because you know what, Spencer? You are a punchline. You don't need to fuck other people. Oh, my God. That was a mad thing. It's like you'd be on a show

and you'd like say something that you thought was funny and it would go to something. And then a reality TV star would say something like, is that a monkey? And then it would get a round of applause. Oh mate, yeah. You know what I mean? Mate, it was an insane.

There's nothing wrong. There's nothing. By the way, before people come at me, I've got nothing against reality TV stars I've got really close friends who are like you know people who you know fucking how Murder Unsuccessful

was made by some hilarious people who are brilliant and that isn't my reality TV what was difficult at that time yeah

just before people we are not anti-reality TV snobs alright some like I say some of the nicest people I know in this industry of reality but what was hard at that time was if you were as a comedian up and cut they've been a

long time where panel shows was what comedians were doing that was a the the in that we had number one to get yourself known on television and get yourself known to a wider audience yeah and they were made for comedians to go and be funny and out of nowhere all of a sudden you'll be doing that and um you know actually actually to shout someone out who actually just like i did one with who actually felt like loved was brian bella really oh man he's he you know what we did a pilot together me and brian bello right and um he was number one like like that's what i mean like like spencer and like there's nothing i like spencer and i've met spencer through jamie quite

a few jamie land quite a few times and he's you know he left the band or whatever but brian it was like brian was like a perfect comedy character in a sense like he knew what his stick was yeah a bit like you know when sean williamson comes on league yeah when someone just comes on they're just like i'm not here to fuck with anyone so i'm gonna be funny and i'm gonna make this better right but we did this pilot and it was clear that this really like middle class up themselves producer who come up with this format and was sort of like being so fucking like quite rude but quite so yeah this is going to be the best thing ever right um slowly as the fucking uh

slowly as the whole thing fell apart right and it was quite clear that this wasn't going to be a series and it was it's horrible it's horrible Brian Bellow just lent over to me and he went he's lost the dressing room he's got no idea what's going on here and then throughout the whole thing I like I stopped even caring about the pilot I was just wanting to get like uh Brian Bellow's autopsy throughout the whole thing it was just wanting to get Brian Bellows' autopsy throughout the whole thing. It was just like... He'd been in TV a lot longer than me

and he'd worked out what had gone wrong. There's not much that feels worse than being on a pilot that you realise midway through is not going to go okay. Do you know what as well? When you fucking start... I mean, still now it happens, but when you're starting out and you get like, oh, you're going to be a captain on this thing, right?

And you're like, oh my God, wow, fucking hell. Well, number one, you know that that's not true because if it does get commissioned, you'd be sidestepped for a fucking bigger name in comedy, right? But there's a moment of like, sort of like the Kool-Aid, you take a gentle sip and you kick back and think oh this is going to be great and then you get into the moment the pilot's getting a shot and you think oh this isn't this isn't killing I mean look you and I've had

an experience where um we were doing it we were doing a thing uh it wasn't it hadn't made it to pilot stage yet it was a run-through thing that we'd been that i was hosting and you were on and um and um god that this is right and so we do this i won't go into details just because you know they're people that um that yeah there's people that we like that were involved or whatever but um this is how this is i'm going to tell you my side of how it went down. So, so we do the read through the channel come and like to watch this, this thing, this panel show I'm hosting.

You're sort of like a comedy turn on it. Right. Very good. By the way, obviously we'll get into that in a minute. So anyway, so we do the read, we do the read.

I don't know. I keep seeing read free. It's not scripted. Do the run free. Right. And everyone's really positive afterwards and blah blah blah anyway it goes we go off and then i don't i don't hear anything and then one day i think it was you who texts me going uh oh good news about the pilot or something like that or like you know looking forward to seeing it the pilot and then I think what pilot,

right? Cause I've heard nothing. Okay. So then I get, I'll get in touch with flow and I go flow. It's just a little thing. Do you know, um,

do you know what's going on with this pilot thing? And, and I think flow had, I don't know. I can't remember whether she knew or didn't anyway, long story short, I'll get in touch with one of the producers and they told me that the channel had said they want to take it to pilot with everything as is with one change that changes me hosting like i've had a few things like that happen in my career

like heartbreaking rejections and that that is up there for me as one of them to know that they liked everything about that project and there's but there was one glaring thing that they wanted changed and that was what i was doing it was a horrible horrible i mean you know as things go in the grand scheme of things it's not the worst things ever happened also that never made it to series did it no it didn't in the end yeah because it was by the, by the way, can I just say, right, the reason, number one, they, I think, got rid of you on that is because fundamentally it was a fucking shit concept, right? But the easiest thing to do, and this is what I'm saying about our industry at times,

and we're all probably culpable a little bit for it, instead of going, well, actually, this might need a little bit of work, right? The reason it fell down is because the actual idea itself and the fundaments behind the idea were flawed, right? But the thing to look at was the person who had to sort of try and run that, go through all of the different games and put the whole thing together.

It was easier to go, oh, actually, it might be the person doing that rather than actually looking at what was behind it. Because actually, when the pilot itself, I remember going to do the pilot and it was maybe... I remember seeing the fighters from it. You had a right old knees up, didn't you? No, it was awful. I remember you sent me a little video of like,

cheers, Rom, sorry you couldn't be here. Shut up! Because people would believe that I'd do that. It was absolutely... It was terrible. I remember other people involved thinking that this is fucking, like genuinely, like in that, I'd say three or four of the people I'd say are my favourite character comedians.

Oh, mate. People who I think are so incredibly talented, right? But that show was so dog shit, right? Even with them in there and you hosting, it still wasn't good. Like even that night i remember ellie white who i think i i couldn't i think ellie white's incredible i think she's hilarious unbelievable one of my favorite people she's and brilliant yeah well and successful she was literally just a joy to have like but so fucking funny right so yeah when this show was happening

me and ellie had just done the bit chris episode to come out, right? And they were like, oh, right, you and Ellie can do this thing together, right? So what ends up happening is they change the idea about ten times that week and four times on the day that we're doing it, right? And instead of going, oh, Ellie and Tom might know what they're doing a little bit when it comes to character comedy. They overly produce stuff. It comes so cringely so that by the time you're actually fucking going to do it, you fucking hate the idea. Ellie hates the idea.

So by the time you're out there doing it, you've got no faith in it. And you've got no faith in yourself. Because that's the other thing about not to get too deep into stuff. I've worked on so many shows where you get, like you, there's amazing producers in this country and I'll go as far as to say

that I think British comedy and some of the stuff we make is up to the best in the world. Yeah, I agree. I agree. There's producers who undermine.

The good people are great. Oh, the good people are incredible. But there's people that you can work with in this industry who completely undermine and they will ruin your confidence. They'll destroy what you think is funny.

I had it on a show where I was doing this really in the infancy of my career and this producer was so like, literally had a go at everything I did to the point where I went, am I here yeah and he was like well you know because the channel wanted you here and I was like but you don't want me here and he was like well no no you're you know I was like if you don't find me I'd rather just leave the show do you know what I mean yeah yeah I was sort of that one it was it was the everything around it was flawed but I do think I do think that's why I think both you and I do this a lot is that whenever I see or meet somebody that I think is really good,

I desperately try and cling onto them and like try and recommend, like, you know, put them forward for, and I don't, and I don't mean that in a, aren't I a great guy way. I mean,

I want to work with those people going, because when you find good people, you've got to hang onto them, man. Cause it's like, like people that are good for their, good at the job, but also fun to be around, because when you find good people, you've got to hang on to them, man, because it's like, like people that are good for their, good at the job, but also fun to be around,

you know, like good, good to work with. Like those people, you've just got to keep getting back in. It's all about that. And it's all about that in front of the camera and behind the camera as well.

I think that like everything, pretty much we've kept the same team really from Murder Unsuccessful to now for The Curse and everything else we do. So, you know, we've gone a bit in there. Yeah. That was a bit of industry chat, guys. Who's behind the curtain?

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I've just been reading Barry Hearn, My Life, which is a peek behind the world into Barry Hearn and how he lives his life as a... What's going on here? It's an amazing book about an incredible guy. I just want to give him a shout out. It's coming up to that summer season where you might need a book. I'm not going to need a book club i'm just saying that this book if you really want to get stuck into one of the life of one of you know i think one of the main faces behind the british sports scene go no further than barry hern my life and it's all about his life great thank you

um look forward to hearing your stint on a good read or between the covers or whatever they've got um speaking of by the way speaking of good um sports books have you read the andre agassi autobiography no no no no no okay listen you've got to read that book man i listened to the audio book it's fucking great does he read it and i'm not i'm not even listen i'm not even a tennis fan but somebody recommended tennis fan for some reason. Did you? Yeah, I always generally thought you were a tennis fan.

No. I swear I've seen you at Wimbledon though. You've not seen me at Wimbledon. Right, right, right. You be honest now. You be honest,

my darling boy. Yeah. Have you ever been to Wimbledon? I swear, listen, I swear on my life, I've never been to Wimbledon. I know you have.

I haven't, I haven't. I've definitely seen you in the fucking Evian box or whatever it is mate i'll tell you what i'm getting tickets three years after you i don't know how this shit works brother you're there with fucking prince fucking william no no no i listen i i love the idea of going to listen wimbledon's great i'd love to go to wimbledon i'm not a tennis fan I'm not a tennis fan. I don't mind tennis. I like the knuckleball.

No, I like... Listen, I think it's good, but I just think Wimbledon, it's the same thing as us getting annoyed about seeing people at finals. Yeah, but this is what I'm saying. That's what I feel like I'd be doing. The latest one is fucking...

What's it called? The fucking Chelsea Flower Show. Yeah, that's true. Fuck me, Jesus Christ. There's people there, I'm sorry, but there's people there I really love, right? I've never heard you talk about flowers. I don't think you've even got a fucking garden. But yet you're there and just, and like, it's insane.

Like people just rocking up to these things. And I just think as well, there's some poor old birdie or poor old fellow or whatever who would have loved to have been there but couldn't. Here's the thing, right? Okay, so I'm just going to posit, because I do know what you're saying, and I've complained about this with regards to the World Cup final and stuff like that.

But here's the thing. I was chatting to somebody about people going to, do you remember that thing with Cecil the lion, right? Do you remember that guy that shot that lion dead or whatever? And then I was talking to somebody about it, and he said to me, has it occurred to you, he didn't say it in that patronising way, he said there was a group of hunters that went out

and they went out to hunt an animal right i can't remember what it was and he said they pay tens of thousands of pounds to go and do to have this experience right and he said you lose a couple of animals but what you get is thousands of pounds flooding into the area right from these like guys that have got loads of money. And he said, there's an argument and, you know, I don't know the ins and outs of this, but I just had this discussion with this guy. There's an argument that the positives outweigh those negatives, right? The reason I'm mentioning this in this context is,

is there an argument that actually what these people, they might not be motivated by this. I love you to death, right? But I'm going to say something, right? I'll have a look at how long Chelsea fucking flower show has been fucking running, yeah? I'm sorry to swear, right? It's been running for, I'd say,

probably around about a century, right? It's a British institution. It doesn't need some loudmouth with fucking 40,000 followers on Instagram rocking up and saying flowers are good. It's an absolute, it's a massive part of like the summertime thing. The World Cup final didn't need someone

who doesn't like football turning up and going, oh, I can't believe I'm here, but I am anyway. It's an institution. I'm just saying like, no, I'm saying I'm all for people finding new experiences, but the faux fucking bullshit of turning up and going, oh, i'm really

into flowers now and then about a day later go i didn't know that you like roses well i don't know like you like fucking poppies or whatever they're the only two flowers i know because i didn't go to the fucking flower show because i couldn't give a fuck about flowers what i'm saying is it's like it's not about the flower show and it's not about what it's about being seen at something that you think it's like oh yeah i need to be i need to be there if i'm not there what's going to like this it's all of it's not about the flower show it's not about anything or wimbledon it's about someone needing to be there to be seen at something because they think that's the thing that's going to enhance their life and move them up a few rungs of the ladder to be more of a social elite and it's bullshit. It's nice to see how that

eight hours of sleep has chilled you out. That's a real different vibe. No, but I'm like... No, I'm joking. No, I'm joking. I just think let people go who want to go.

It's my worst thing about our industry and celebrity. It really is. Cut to the World Cup later on. Tom just like, fucking carbaroom it.

It'll be me at the cricket. It'll be me at the Oval It'll be me at the oval. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great, this. Someone's just taken a wicket. What's a wicket? Who gives a fuck? I've got free champagne.

Let's do some emails. This is from The Anxious Gazelle. Wowzers, wowzers. Are you ready to do emails, by the way? you ready to emails by the way yeah yeah let's do it let's do it we've looked down now you're looking at your phone it seems like you're in a bit of a no no i'm just making sure little g's all right just checking out on the old monitor is little g okay no she's back asleep she'll never have you got a look is that was that you messaging katherine have you got a camera you've got a camera thing she sends me pictures

yeah so yeah it's just a beautiful thing. Hello to the Wolf, Vow, Swan and Cat. Thank you for making such a wonderful podcast. I can't tell how much hearing you guys chat every week calms me and makes me laugh. I wanted to see what you thought about the issue of pursuing an ex. I'm nearing my mid-20s and had a relationship with a guy which ended two years ago. The breakup was my doing. For context, we were long distance in the UK and I had plans of moving country for a job which didn't go down well with

him i was really upset breaking up with him because of the loving relationship but didn't feel right at the time fast forward a pandemic and moving back to the uk i bumped into him at a festival recently which has completely thrown me all these memories of us together have flooded back and i realize how much i miss him it also didn't help that he told me at the fest that i have a special place in his heart. I've been thinking about asking to meet up for a drink, but I've also found out he's now seeing somebody. I can't seem to stop thinking about him.

And what we had to the point where I'm struggling to concentrate and getting upset while at work. Would it be totally out of order to ask to meet up for a drink despite knowing he's seeing somebody? I feel the ball is currently in his court, but would it be wrong to nudge it along? Thanks again for the excellent pod and for soothing my overthinking head, the gazelle tom davis yo the anxious gazelle

um you know what uh many many moons ago before um i was with my beloved wife um i had a similar sort of situation probably i think it was through most of my 20s sort of up until about a year or so before I met Catherine, where I'd sort of met this girl and, uh, we'd sort of hooked up a bit on, but we're sort of, yeah. And, and we,

we got into a situation where every time that we thought, oh, we can make a run at something, one of us would be in a relationship and the other one wouldn't. And it would just, there would just never been that right moment. And now we're both in a situation where we both both moved on both very happy whatever but sometimes things are meant to be and sometimes things aren't and i think the thing is about um the situation you find yourself

in is like right now and that like if he said the special thing placing heart but he is seeing someone i think you kind of got to let that be be. And it's hard because you're going to get upset and you're going to feel that. But I think like, unless he comes through and says to you, you know what? I can't stop thinking about you since I saw you again. And I'm going to like,

let this other person know that. And I'm going to, let's work this out. I think you go into him and saying, oh yeah, do you want to do this? Or do you want to do that? For me,

I don't think that's right. I think you kind of gotta move on with yourself and that the thing that you've got and that special relationship you had that bond that you've got together it might never work out it might never be the thing that happens but it might be saying it's better just around the corner or you know for both of you and it just, this thing was never meant to be. But I think the, I don't agree with giving someone a shout and saying like, hey, I can't stop thinking about you because whatever the score is, he is seeing someone else and you've got to allow that before, yeah,

before you get involved. So that's my advice, Anxious Gazelle. And I wish you luck and I wish you happiness. Anxious Gazelle, look I wish you luck and I wish you happiness. Anxious Gazelle, look, this is my take on it. It's possible that he's thinking about you the same way

and thinking, I want to get back with her and I really am sad that we've broken up and she's back in the UK and maybe there's a way of getting back together. But I do think when you say the ball is in his court, it really is in his court.

If he decides that he wants to explore that or pursue that, then you've got to allow him to do that because he's in a relationship. I don't think you nudging it along is the right thing to do. I think you have to... You've got to surrender yourself to however this turns out. I don't think you nudging it along is the right thing to do. I think you have to, you've got to surrender yourself to however this turns out. I don't think you should nudge it long. Look, based on the very sort of scant information you've given us,

and by the way, you know, you don't need to be any fuller than you have done, but like just, what I'm saying is I'm making assumptions here, but you broke up because you were going to move and then we've had the pandemic and then you've bumped into him and you know all of those feelings have come back that is kind of the perfect storm to kind of start missing somebody and feeling like you know what could have happened and blah

blah blah because you didn't break up because one of you was a shit to the other one you didn't break up because things didn't work out you broke up because of uh of this circumstance do you mean and so when you go when you saw him again he's sort of like i'm assuming here that you're not in a relationship you sort of go oh my god like this is the first time i've seen this person in all this time and and look that sometimes those things happen i've bumped into people that i've that i used to see and if you had a strong bond with that person, you can't help those things coming back. But that doesn't mean that, it doesn't definitely mean,

it certainly doesn't definitely mean that there's something there to explore or see if there's anything further. So I guess what I'm saying, I'm not sort of quite waffly about it, is it's possible that he wants to get back with you or he'd like to explore that. But I would say even if that's the case, you have to allow him to do that. I wouldn't, I don't think you should be nudging it along. He's in a relationship.

You need to respect him and respect that relationship he's in. But also, in addition to that, the other outcome might be he just meant you've got a special place in this art because you had a relationship together. And, you know, people that I used to be with have got a special place in my heart. You know, people that I was in relationships with have a special place in my heart you know people that i was in relationships with have a special place in my heart but i'm not gonna go and have another relationship with them do you know what i mean so um i think you gotta do nothing and and i know that's not ideal because you're saying that you're struggling to concentrate and getting upset while at work but i sort of think you have to go through that man it's just like that is you know life does that sometimes and and you know i think you have to go through that, man. It's just like that is, you know, life does that sometimes.

And, you know, I think you've got to live with the confidence that it will be fine in the end. I mean, it really will be. And that might not feel like that at the moment, but that is definitely true. So good luck, Anxious Gazelle. I feel bad because Tom and I probably, I imagine that you emailed us hoping that we were going to tell you

to go for it. But as i always try and say and i think actually this would make an amazing tattoo what could be could be what is is and that's life baby okay i don't know what part of the body you'd have something quite that long on but okay right around the top of your leg around the top of your leg? Round the top of your leg. So what people reading it would have to sort of rotate round your thigh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, cool. Okay, this is from the Goofy Giraffe.

Oh, wow. My favourite. Also, Grace's favourite animal. Really? Yeah, she loves giraffes, yeah. I don't know if it's something to do with me. They just look so fucking made up, don't they? Yeah, I know, yeah.

Giraffe and the duck-billed platypus are up there for me, for somebody who must have been on it. I asked for a refund once. I went to a zoo, and the giraffes weren't around, and they were having a day off, I don't know why they weren't there. Do you mean zoos that rely on visitor money to exist as a conservation space?

You asked for a refund. No, because I went there, right? the hippo enclosure is closed and there's i don't know i don't i said to them like man now i was like i said uh where the drafts and he was like oh they're not in today they work they're not into that no what does that mean like if you had gone into the west end if you got into a slug and lettuce on that sat, you'd have seen eight giraffes absolutely smashed, having a day off. You know, he just said, he was like, no, they're not in today. I was like, well, the hippos aren't here,

the giraffes aren't here, it's just half-baked, mate. What animals were there? Like lions, tigers, dolphins. All right, so did you get the refund? No, no, no, in the end he talked me around. He said, have you had a nice time? I was like, yeah, but not everything's here that I want it to be. Are you get the refund? No, no, no. In the end, he talked me around. He said, have you had a nice time? I was, yeah, but not everything's here that I want it to be. Are you telling the truth?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get annoyed with little things in life. Who are you with? Catherine. You're with Catherine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was actually one of our first dates. Next time I come round, I'm going to give that woman such a hug.

Okay. Hi, Ron Thomas. Sorry, just to interject we went through like i'm it's a miracle we went for a little stage in the infancy of our relationship where i was trying to sort of show myself to be like a little bit more uh like the pragmatics or what but i did that one right we're asked for the refund and i think it was on our first date i complained about this woman giving me the wrong change, right? Quite like, yeah, excuse me.

So you're trying to show yourself to be an assertive stand-up guy. But I was skinned at the time as well. I didn't have much money. So I'd try and do dates and, you know, but I genuinely thought this woman had short-changed me, right? And sort of was like, sorry, I'm just going to deal with this. I think this woman's short-changed me, right? I made quite a big deal about it. Like, you you know i thought i'd given this woman a 20 pound note

or cut a 20 pound notes but um in fact i'd give her a cut of tens whatever i mean this says the level of food that we got up for um and uh katherine went oh no no no you definitely just gave her a couple of tens like at the end of it and i was just like yeah it was so cringy i had a similar thing where i took lisa to go and see kanye yeah and we were first started going out and um i've just got this thing about turning up on time for a gig right and like being there for me so i was like really sort of um you know i'm normally like this right how i am now which is like except for certain situations which which i would say i became your impression of me right so i sort of you know like trying to get over to the o2 and blah blah

and i sort of getting a bit anxious about how long it was taking yeah the tube like stopped between two stations i'm starting to get a bit neurotic and lisa was like quite honest she goes um you're quite a different person when you're trying to get to a concert oh god and she didn't say it in a complimentary way she didn't say that was really sexy the way you got us to that gig um right anyway wet yourself on the jubilee line the goofy giraffe firstly i like to say the i love the pod is the highlight of my week so keep it up to set the scene me and my girlfriend are four years, both 21 and at uni. Amongst other things, they have one big joint passion, food and, of course, eating it.

I've always been healthy, but maybe what you'd call a little pudgy compared to my peers throughout school. But as an active kid, I never really had to worry about the food I was eating. However, when I went to uni, I started to eat very unhealthily and gain a lot of weight. At the end of my first year, this is a common story of university students, by the way. At the end of my first year during lockdown, I started to eat more healthily and gain a lot of weight at the end of my first year this is a common story of university students by the way at the end of my first year during lockdown i started to eat more healthily and sort of diet i don't know why i said that without much stank it worked very well and i lost about three to four stone i then picked up running just over a year ago i run five times a week go to the gym regularly but i'm conscious about my food choices ever since i started that

diet two years ago i've been forever thinking about how good or bad the food i'm eating is my girlfriend on the other hand does not fuss so much about it so when we're together we often eat her regular diet and treat ourselves because being at different unis we're often only together for the odd weekend but sometimes I don't want to eat bad things but I feel obliged to because it's my time with her I also know if I don't want a sweet she won't eat it because she will feel that she's being too she's being unhealthy as well but if I do eat the sweets I feel like I'm doing something bad to myself and just spiral thinking about the weight I could gain from the food.

Is this a problem I need to talk to her about or am I just being silly and letting food control me like this? Because despite being happy with my body, I preferred my old relationship with food. Apologies for the essay. And please, if you could give any wise words of wisdom, it would be really appreciated.

Yo, the goofy giraffe. Number one, I must commend you again on your name because I love it. And actually, weirdly, my heart's open to you, my friend. really appreciated yo the goofy giraffe number one i must commend you again on your name because i love it and uh actually weirdly uh my heart's open to you my friend um i would say it's it i think the problem you have is yeah it's a university one but i think also it's it's it's a couple's one as well you me and katherine certainly at the moment uh you know as i've said about the um trying to give up shoot, like we're both in a situation where we're,

since Grace has been here, we're, we're both because of ease for having a baby, you end up eating a few more takeaways for a few more ready meals than we used to. And sometimes a diet, a diet choices aren't bang on. I think food is a really, really,

really important part of being a couple. I think it's a really important part of a family's life. I think like is a really, really, really important part of being a couple. I think it's a really important part of a family's life. I think it's like the food you eat and the stuff that you like. And I think it's a really important thing. I think like for me, some of the happiest times in my relationship, and this might not sound cool, but it is like one of us thinking, fuck it, let's just get a Domino's or a Chinese tonight out of the blue or curry and whatever food that that we the foods that we like and the things that we don't really

drink a lot now and that our little treats you know are you know let's let's go and you know get ice creams or whatever and they're the little moments that i think actually sort of you bond a little bit and then tiny little things like eating together as a couple is really important and i think because it's something you're sharing you're sharing a mutual love of something food is at the heart of minor katherine's relationship with us being you know for instance you know i quarreled with that woman over a restaurant receipt and i think for me anyway look i've made i made a few big life decisions you know around about a year ago knowing that i was going to the grace was going gonna be here and and like just my longevity of life but i'll train i make sure that i try and be as healthy as i can but also i sort of don't i don't think that

should then limit i think if i'm doing those things as silly as it sounds like i look i put up a thing yesterday on on instagram about this fucking helmet who keeps popping up on my stream. Who's like, Mark this? Do these? Yeah. What, that guy? Yeah.

I'm like, why is he on my stream? He's literally like, it's everything that I'm not. Right. But the thing about someone like that is like, that makes him happy. Right.

And that's fine. And I'm all about finding your happiness. But if it's food that makes you happy and it's food that you bond with your uh with don't pull that away from yourself if you if you're being healthy you're going to the gym you're doing your running and stuff reward yourself and and make sure that you pick your smiles where you can because life is long and uh hopefully and uh you i think you need your treats you need your well done mate slap on the back let's go and all like have a big ice cream sunday together make sure you do that my friend yeah um look i feel slightly nervous about getting into this one because like people's relationships with food and their bodies is incredibly complicated and you know we're not really qualified to to to get into this oh wow nice one for throwing me under the bus

no you i know but sorry sorry i was about to say having said all of that i do i do i josh my friend i josh i do think what you said was spot on but like but i i think the truth is is that you've got a similar thing to what tom and i have in terms of when you grow up a little bit or you sort of have ongoing body issues. If you manage to maintain some progress, you can become almost a little bit kind of obsessive about it. And I think you training and feeling good about your body is great. But I'm going to tell you from my own my own experience. Look, I'm going to tell you from my own experience, but I'm not somebody to follow because, as you know from listening to this podcast,

I have got a series of issues that I'm still yet to unpack and deal with with regards to my body. But look, my ultimate aim is not to be completely ripped and like 5% body fat and just like fucking lean as fuck. My aim is to feel okay with my body but also be able to live a normal life when it comes to like eating and stuff like that and and and that that's either going to be through you know physical change but more likely that's going to be through mental change because the truth is tom and i i think i'm you know speaking on behalf of both of us there are psychological issues at play here which have

led to us being as unhappy with our bodies as we have been throughout our lives right and so there is something that you've got to look at in your head with regards to that that's probably going to get you to a solution quicker than quicker than changing your body because the truth is however whatever level you get to with your physical appearance if you haven't fixed yourself in your head you're going to be keeping to go, you're going to keep looking at yourself going, well, I'm still a bit here and I could change this and blah, blah, blah. You never, it never ends. And so I could go on and on about this. But I think the truth is, is that you need to be able to, to be comfortable to eat sweet things

or whatever it is you're eating with your girlfriend. You know, you need to be in a place where if you do that that is okay you're not seeing her that regularly you want to be in a position where look how i'm living at the moment is i'm trying to eat healthily during the week but if something fucks up that's not the end of my healthy eating i've just had a thing there where i've had like an evening or a couple of days where I've like eaten badly and then I'll just start again and get back on it right and I'm not saying I need to be your role model but I think that's I feel like for me that's a healthier way of looking at it I've done things in the past where I've become obsessive and I've gone to a restaurant with mates and I've gone I'll just have this and I don't even that's not even the thing I want but I just want to just minimize my calorie intake or whatever.

And I just don't think that's a fun way to live your life. Do you know what I mean? So I think the truth is the fact that you've emailed in to us is a sign that you haven't found the balance yet. And I think just tweak it a little bit. And also the other thing that's quite dangerous is you talking about good and bad foods. That's not a thing. Good and bad foods is not's quite dangerous is you talking about good and bad foods. That's not a thing.

Good and bad foods is not a thing. It's like there are no bad foods, there are no good foods. It's all about moderation and balancing this stuff out. So there's certain things that are in your email that I think psychologically you could have a look at, man. And there's loads of reading that you can do and stuff that you can do to help you with that. So yeah, look, it's a complicated thing,

but I think the ideal would be to be in a position where you're happy with yourself and also able to enjoy yourself with your girlfriend. Like Tom said, enjoying nice food and doing things like that and not worrying about it is what a cool position to be in. You know, a tattoo you can have on the other leg. Life is like walking on a high wire. It's all about balance.

Would you have that stumble in it as well in the tattoo? That'd be great, wouldn't it? If you went in and said, life is like a high wire and the guy put three H's in. That's how you said it, mate. I put three H's in. That's how you said it, mate. What an episode this has been.

What an episode this has been. Fun times. There has been so many fun times. I've got to say, Tom, my favourite thing about this podcast is seeing you well-rested. Yeah, I feel well-rested. I feel, you know what? And this maybe is my ending note.

Is rest is important and so is sleep. If you take a pier out into a park or into a garden, you will look at maybe the epitome of this of all time. Mother Nature. You see, sometimes the grass grows and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the flowers bloom and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the flowers bloom and sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes you will see bees scamp from flower to flower just trying to pack up as much pollen as they can

to take back to their bee houses. Wow. Sometimes you will see wasps and you'll think, hmm, what's he up to? But one day the wasps won't be there. You will seldom see an insect save the firefly or an actual normal fly who aren't as cool at night or actual moths that i don't know if they're insects or not my point is this know when to rest and know when to live your best life you can't be going for 24 hours. Sometimes you've

got to kick back, relax, and say, yo, let's go up to Bedfordshire. Let's close those eyes and chill out. Let's know that if we're going to take the life to the max, we've got to lay the tracks by getting that slumber. My friends, my family, my kin. Rest up, be sharp. And as always, do you. When you stumbled on that Max Trax rhyme, did you get a little bit of a hard on there? As you thought, I've got myself a... Yeah, I mean, to be fair,

I've almost got an album's worth out of this podcast this week. You've been doing a lot of rapping on this. Yeah, yeah. Guys, thank you so much once again for listening to the Wolf and I podcast. We will see you very, very soon. We should say, actually, as well, because I think this will be our merch. Our actual full website goes live on Father's Day. When's Father's Day?

Father's day 2022 the 19th of june all right so 19th of june as far as i'm aware merch and a wolf on our website are all going live um yes you'll find zany clips um you know of us and probably that's where you're going to be able to buy it can i say about your new album uh anyway guys it's been a treat and a treasure thank you for digging us out on an island called podcast yeah thank you so much guys i mean if you're listening to this and you think oh god i'll get a lot of out this out this podcast let me tell you something the two people that get the most out of this are the wolf and myself so for that from both of us thank you so much good luck and wherever your voyages take you uh and remember it's not always about the destination just tuck in enjoy the

journey see you later guys bye-bye if you have a problem, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.