Wolf and Owl - Episode 14

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

We’re talking… new presenting styles for the podcast, retail aggravations, vindictive DIY tools, getting control of your inner voice and more tiny toilets. Plus some helpful advice on hair. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? yes Welcome Jeff bringing his head spinning, just kidding. Every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast. I'm joined, well, I'm the owl. Oh, fucking, why do I do this? Oh, God. Wow, that is awful. That is the worst. Like, that is so bad.

I'm the owl. I'm joined as well. Like, you're Eamon Holmes. Oh, God. i'm joined as well like you're aiming homes oh god i'll join this week by tom davis uh comedian actor it's like you've you've just you've forgot what a podcast even is you you battle out of one bonus episode whoa whoa okay okay okay okay we'll go to the bonus episode thing in a second but i would say that that that this intro has been dreadful so let me just try again uh okay welcome uh to the wolf in our podcast where

uh comedian tom davis and myself take a sideways glance at the events of the week usually with some pretty light-hearted results uh obviously joining me the owl i'm a shragger nathan as he always does is my uh wolf in command my my right my right hand canine it is tom davis hello tom hello hello enjoying thanks for having me here again such a um such a tree every week uh sitting down and analyzing the world as it stands today. It's so much fun. And what a week it's been for many people out there. Sorry, we've finished with this bit, haven't we?

I was happy to do it for the whole hour. I would have done it for... Do you know that's basically just a glimpse inside the fucking future for us. That's what the orphan hour will be like in 2038. It'll just be... Yeah, what'll happen is it's gradually... Stupid old guys... Yeah, what'll happen is... Too senile. Stupid old guys.

Yeah, what happens gradually, sort of as it goes on and we sort of become more and more desperate to do it, other people will get involved in it. Have you thought about sort of swearing less? And we go, oh, yeah, okay. I don't think that takes away from it. Yeah, we can swear a bit less. Have you thought about sort of being a little less honest on it?

And yeah, yeah, okay. Have you thought about having some format points where you sort of, maybe you've got like a bit where you talk about sort of hobbies and stuff yeah yeah we could do and then eventually we have this sort of dribbling fucking jizz of an over formatted piece of shit that we're both clinging on to opening with uh i'm gonna be talking about my allotment and tom is gonna talk about how to make the perfect egg sandwich. So, Tom, just sort of first up, green beans, not as easy as everybody thinks they are to grow. Is that right? Well, actually, Ramesh, no, the green bean is actually quite hard.

I mean, the trouble is with growing a green bean in this country is you're completely committed to the soil and to the weather. You've got a month window. I thought you sounded slight. I i'm gonna be honest with you i think you sounded slightly too sexy to be to be a garden guy there you suffered you had a bit of an inch you've known me a long time it's fucking hard for me not to sound sexy it's really that is that you know like you've you know you know like people have uh like sort of a bit of kryptonite that is mine but if i call up uh and i complain about something i've really really got a struggle not to sound too sexy uh i've got that so the number of times the number of times i've worked i've worked with you and just constantly,

because I'll sometimes get notes like, be bigger, maybe you can deliver the line in a way that's sort of even approaching convincing, stuff like that. Whereas you tend to get notes like, can you just, look, can you just sort of dial down the sexy a little bit? Like it just doesn't sort of work for the comedy of this. There's three of us who are in like a WhatsApp group, and it's me joanna lumley and charlie's thron we've all got that's that's our club yeah like yeah it's gonna be it's gonna be one hell of a fucking mad max sequel that one george clooney left recently because he just did stop

sounding sexy so listen we got we got to talk about the fact that there was no bonus episode now we're both we're both responsible for this what happened was is that tom had started on um tom had started on king gary this week i was doing rangination and then we ended up just and we i suppose you know we could have done a bonus episode but it was so we were so knackered yeah it just would have been it would have been unbearable i think i think as well that we have to You know, we could have done a bonus episode, but we were so knackered. Yeah. It just would have been unbearable, I think. I think as well that we have to,

you know, we're both aware that, you know, we need to have our fighting mode on. Like when we step into the cage that is the wolf and the owl, and we have to be mind ready to really crack a lacquer on that thing. uh yeah i think i certainly felt that i wasn't ready to sort of go toe-to-toe with the owl uh this week uh in such in such a hench way but but to everyone who missed the episode i send my apologies and my faith yeah thank you so much for both of those messages um what i was going to say to you is... So to Ryan and Abby, I'm really sorry. I know that you both missed.

Yeah, to Ryan and my mum, I'm so sorry we couldn't get around to doing it, but we are doing a bonus one today, provided your internet holds that. Your internet is an absolute fucking shambles yeah so this is a big shout out to BT go fuck yourself

and I don't say it lightly BT have basically got me over a barrel at the moment so I'm changing my network my broadband guys and now I'm going over to Sky Sky Broadband controversial if there's any controversy on that

hit us up wolfandourpod at gmail.com that is that's the place to and Romesh can go through those things why

why is that why is that controversial why is that controversial I'm just trying to be edgy like you know edgy comics oh right okay

like but just because I also BT's like the pure one right yeah but occasionally you do get like every now and again when I sort of say I'll leave episode of League of their Owners out or Robber Romish vs out I'll get a message going

no thank you I don't watch that fucking poison channel really good luck enjoying the corporate dollar you slut or something like yeah yeah every now and again you slut I think I don't think... You slut! That's such a brilliant line.

You're, like, so unsluttish. Like, you're sitting there and you're stuck in the suspenders. Like, seething. No, but I think they mean, like, i'm like a a tv slut just sort of bending over and getting the old fucking do you know what i mean i don't know about that man yeah i all i know is that when i phoned up british telecom uh and i you know i i used to believe that stood for something british telecom the guy was basically said to me that uh until i signed a new contract

for by the way that their deal was awful that my internet connection would be off just be terrible it'd be woeful and i said look mate i've got a very important business that i do upon this this broadband um aka a podcast he asked what podcast uh i said that um it was a wolf an hour with romesh ranganathan uh he didn't know about it which was hopefully now he might listen. He was actually very helpful, but he just couldn't give me a better deal. So I shopped around and spent the day phoning about. Now I'm actually genuinely turning into that boring prick.

I spent the day just phoning around. Yeah, I mean, really, I'm sort of, actually, what you find is, they, in many ways, they need you more than you need them. So don't feel afraid to really sort of push that angle and say, look, if you don't give me the deal I want, I will look elsewhere. We've basically become those fucking consumer pricks. So, guys, no, seriously, you're under no obligation to keep in the same place that you've always been when it when it comes to

your broad plans uh provider you know what i find so funny that's where i'm at love you know what i find so funny is when you like uh when um you phone up to renew your phone mobile phones have been a fucking absolute rip-off for such a long time right and all these deals where they pretend that they're doing you a favor when they're actually fucking bending you over it's so incredible right and then you phone up at the end of your contract and you go um you you actually every time i manage to fool myself that i've got one over on ee when i phone up just sort of like um now listen i need i need a new iphone uh my contract's expired if you don't if you don't give me the phone for the price I want, I will look elsewhere because there are other networks.

And it's like they're trained to make you feel like you're getting a deal. Yes, well, I can give you this iPhone and I can get rid of the £60 charge. You really do have my arm up against my back here. It really is incredible, the deal that you're getting out of me. Oh, my gosh. I probably won't be able to come into work tomorrow because of the deal you've got out of me.

You really are quite the negotiator, sir. And so that is 24-month contract, plus the insurance for the phone, because as you said, you wanted it protected, on top of the data bundle that you've uh signed up to every month my gosh you really have got yourself a bargain i'm surprised the company can run with shrewd operators like you mr ranganathan and then i just put the put put the phone down walk over to lisa and go you might want to have sex with me now because i am a fucking business maverick.

So pathetic. I know you too well. You'd be on the other end of the phone to the guy going, you've really got me over a bar and you're going, no, I don't bear you any malice, mate, but when Romesh Regulations is after a deal, he will get a deal. Actually, I'll tell you, jumping on this when it comes to salesmen, this is just actually something,

even now it makes me just feel sad and my arms slump a bit is that the fucking biggest time i had my pants pulled down was buying a lawnmower like i genuinely loathe that guy loathe him so i went into um buy a lawn i had no idea i've never had a lawn before and i said to him look mate what's the best one i could possibly get uh and he was like he saw in the whites of my eyes how inexperienced i was how pathetic i was i had no real you know don't get me wrong other stuff in home base i'm fucking uh you know i can fly about and i've got a little but but lawns and gardening i'm not there for that right so he uh he turns around and i was like oh i like the look of this one without the cable he said oh, oh, you know, that's a big fad,

the cable, this lawnmower. You know, get a cable, you'll get more power. So he talks me into getting a cable lawnmower and this is going out to anyone who's looking for buying a lawnmower. Don't ever fucking do it. It's the worst fucking,

you know what, I actually had fantasies about mowing a lawn. Finally having a lawn of my own that I could, and I loathe it now. I'll get up, like, at some point today I've got to do it and it's, have you ever tried to mow a lawn of my own that I could and I loathe it now I'll get up like at some point today I've got to do it

and it's have you ever tried to mow a lawn with a fucking lead you jump you skip it falling over it you're putting it over your head you're trying to fucking keep it tight

and literally every time I do it I just look at flashbacks of his fucking arrogant little face with an earring in 2000 fucking 19 just smiling and I know

as I walked out of it he just went we'll definitely oh we'll if dickheads like him keep and come keep on coming in we will get rid of all the cabled fucking lawnmowers like it's just just walking out the walking out the store with the cable trailing behind you automatic door shutting on your cable just oh no sorry whoops let me just let me just scoop that up mate it's so bad man it's like like the truth is look i don't want to be out of order to people that work in retail okay i i realize it's a tough job i worked in sunglass up for years right and i know what it's like right but i remember i get i get enraged just so easily, like now and again, right?

I went into a shop to buy a TV, like a little TV for one of our kids, right? He's got an Xbox. His TV had broken. So we went in, and we're looking for like the cheapest TV they've got. I walk in, and I go, I found the one. And I go to him, have you got this, mate? Can I get this? And he goes, we checked on his little thing

and we ain't got it in stock. And then that was it. That was the end of our interaction. He went, we ain't got it in stock. And honestly, I turned into such a fucking old man. I went, so are you you not gonna even suggest an alternative are you not gonna apologize for having that out on display with and the guy the guy of course he's not because the guy doesn't give a fuck about that job do you mean like what why am i expecting

this guy to fucking fall oh oh my gosh sorry guys guys can we just stop if you're serving any other customers there's a guy here looking for the cheapest television in the entire store. Bro, bro, bro, bro, bro. That's what they should fucking do. Let me give everyone some fucking advice and let me get deep here, right? If you go into a fucking hardware shop,

look around for some geezer who looks like he's from the Wicker Man. Look for someone who's like fucking old and fucking knowledgeable about everything that's under that. Like, what I do is I fucking, I'll look at someone who looks quite cool and quite edgy. He's got some fucking blonde tips. He's under that like what i do is i fucking i'll look at someone who looks quite cool and quite edgy he's got some fucking blonde tips he's got an

earring he's got no place in fucking home base he should be fucking working in fucking jd sports so he doesn't care you've got to find the people who get so if you're going for a tv you don't look at you've done the same thing as me because me and you are the same people right me and you will basically just be fucking dragged into an orbit with someone who we hope thinks that we're cool because we've got enough money to buy a TV or a fucking lawnmower. What we don't want to do is go to the geekiest guy there who'll know everything about TVs. And you go, oh, yeah, my son Alex, he wants a TV for his room.

What's it for, mate? Oh, it's just for playing the Xbox on. Well, here we go, mate. This is the best one for that. What me and you have done is we've gone to the people that we think we wanted to hang out with because me and you by the way would be great in retail i don't know you wouldn't we wouldn't be in the same shop but we'd work on the same industrial estate i would probably work at b and q a home base yeah and i'd be i guess what you're

saying is i'd be at pc world or something i'm assuming no i was to say savers. Do you know what, though? I do think you've got a point, but except I think there's a middle ground between what you're talking about, right? Because when I went to get that TV, I went to a guy that obviously was just doing his job, and I respect that, and you're just trying to, you know, you're doing whatever.

If you're doing a job, and you're not putting your all into it, totally understand right i fucking get it i most of my jobs in my life i've done that right now i know you're shaking your head tom but people having a job that you like is a privilege right it's yeah yeah so so so if you if you're doing your job and you don't give a shit fair play to you do you know what i mean so so you're right your job and you don't give a shit, fair play to you. Do you know what I mean? So you're right. I shouldn't have gone to that geyser. But the other end of the scale, can it be equally as bad? You know when you go up to somebody and go,

I'm looking for a TV. Okay, well, so what exact spec are you looking for? Well, I just want it for my son to play PlayStation. Okay, well, how do you anticipate you're going to be connecting that? Do you think you're going to be using HDMI or do you think you're going to be using a super HDMI, which can work with this type of TV? But on some occasions,

what you actually find is a pixelation gets so much, it could actually burn the screen because the graphics are too good. That's actually what can happen. That has happened to people I know. I don't want to fucking get involved in that kind of chat. No, but I do. Do you know, I get a real rush fucking get involved in that kind of chat. No, but I do. Do you know,

I get a real rush out of someone who really enjoys their job. Like, genuinely, whatever it is, I get a rush out of it. So if I go into,

like, PC World, I will now, I'm like, look, that lawnmower thing burnt me. Burnt me bad.

I'd sooner be in there for an hour and a half with someone who's giving me a load of waffle rather than me having to buy six of everything. That's the worst of it. I've got six different fucking things

to put a TV on the wall. So I've got talked into six different ones. And when I try and take them back, I've opened them, tried to put the TV in the wall and I can't take it back anymore. So if I'd just gone to the geeky guy and gone, you know what?

Listen, listen, listen. But listen, Tom, you open one and it's wrong, then fine, take it back to the shop. If you've got to the point where you've opened the packet on six of those things, that's on you, mate. Okay? That is on you not learning a fucking lesson.

All right? Just imagine you opening one. Well, that didn't fucking work. Let me get the second one open. Oh, no, that's a fucking disaster. Let me get the third one open. Hold on, Catherine. I've got all six at the Let me get a third one open. Hold on, Catherine. Hold on, Catherine.

Fourth one. Fourth time lucky. Let's have a look. Oh, fuck. It's happened again. Let me just... Honestly, it definitely... Odds are the fifth one will work. Oh, fuck me. No. No. I can't believe it. Okay, no. Listen, number six.

Number six. Lucky six. Come on, Catherine, my girl, we could do it. Oh, no! What are the chances? The gods of TV bracketing are angry with me for some unknown reason. I was seething, seething with them. And I kept on having to go in with these fucking unpacked things. Oh, we can't take that back.

Are you sure you got the size of the tv right yes definitely right it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing this is a tip to do whenever you walk into a shop go have you got anyone here who's insufferable for everyone they work with and no one wants to eat lunch with them because they're so boring yes can you send them over so they can tell me what i'm gonna buy that what you want. So they can finally meet their coordinating personality in entertainment. Do you do research before you buy stuff? Do you know what?

I don't actually. Right, you go. I don't really and I'm a bit bad for that because like my brother for example, my don't really. And I'm a bit bad for that because, like, my brother, for example, my brother is really hot on, like, getting a bargain or whatever. He's, like, really good at it. And I sort of, I do admire it in a way. But also the other thing that I think comes to that slightly is that my brother will sometimes,

he'll check the price of something after he's bought it. And then if he finds out a month afterwards, and say it's gone down in the sale, he'll be gutted about it. The truth is, I don't give enough of a shit, really. If you want a TV or you want something, you want it

quick, right? I don't want to fuck around. I sort of do a quick cursory Google. But even when you do that, right, it's like magic. It happens every single time, right, is you Google it and it goes, this TV or this thing is the absolute best money you can get. And you scroll down, it's like five people going fucking life changer, game changer this, right?

So you go and buy it. You go back and then you're looking at something else on the internet later on and you click onto that thing that you haven't where you haven't closed the tab down and then all of those reviews now that you've bought the thing will have changed right for some reason some magic in the internet where it shows you the real thing where it goes this is actually a con this absolute ripoff furious about yeah it always happens like that man it's so i i go too much and i'm like your brother i go too much into, I'm like your brother, I go too much into a rabbit.

I've, like, literally will go, so if I'm looking to book a hotel to go somewhere nice, right? Yeah. I will go and nearly read, I'll read nearly every review, like, on TripAdvisor. I will scour through them. And I'll just remember the bad ones.

Like me and you joke about when it comes to anything, right? I will literally focus on those bad ones. It will be someone like, you know, oh,, oh, we traveled all the way from the US. We stayed at this place. It was an awful fucking terrible time. Service was bad. I've literally read 50 that are going, the service is amazing.

But I've read someone who's fucking from some shit on state in America. And I'm like, oh, no, he had an awful time. So will we. That's the, like, I get into, like, a proper, and even on Amazon now, I read all the reviews. I get into like a proper and like even on amazon now i read all the reviews i can be buying some fucking like something i brought a hose adapter because of the lawnmower i bought a hose adapter and i spent nearly four hours reading reviews about hose adapters and i thought it's a fucking hose adapter what what you know what could go wrong

but like you know people are saying oh the plastic's not great it hasn't got great you know you know you can't push this much pressure well how much pressure am i putting for a fucking hose like that's where i end up going through review yeah but you know i i do so on amazon i will like have a quick look through because every now and again on amazon you get something where the product is good but then you read a review on amazon and it goes um thought i was buying uh thought i was buying a lamp when i opened it it was just a dead hamster something's going wrong with the supplier you know like there's always some sort of weird fucking thing going on so i'll do a cursory check for that mate this is mental though right so i

when i was going to australia a few years ago i um i was doing i was doing a melbourne comedy festival on the way out i'd taken my laptop with me so lisa didn't have a she didn't have any laptop or anything she wanted when we'd be thinking about getting one for a bit so as a little nice little surprise i ordered one to be delivered to her like for after i was gone right like a couple of days after right help by getting on the dating websites while i'm out you know i mean and uh anyway so i i got a flight to australia and i'm waiting for her to i'm waiting for her to have the reaction do you know i mean like i'm waiting for her to go oh my god you got me a laptop thank you so much right or whatever you know she's gonna say thank you so much i'm making the suggestion there that i'm a pretty abusive husband there but um anyway the point

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And then I click on a thing and I said, and it's got her signature. Like I click on the thing. So it's her signature. It's accepted, right? So I phone up Lisa and I go, have you, have you got a laptop? Like, cause I ordered you a laptop completely. You know, I didn't want to do that, but I actually forced my hand.

Lost your mind. Forced my hand. I was in Melbourne. I didn't adjust to the time difference for the entire month that I was there. That was causing me madness. But anyway,

so, I bet you were an absolute joy to be around. Oh, mate, I basically existed in Melbourne for a month on British,

on London time. Fucking hell. It's so stupid. And then I'd turn up and like, Phil Dupas was doing the same venue as me and he goes to me i'll go to him what you've been up to and he goes uh yeah i went to check the galleries out took a tram down to blah blah blah and then i go what are you up to what did you get up to today so i well i woke up an hour and a half ago i ate some of the vegetable dumplings that were left in my on the tray that i'd eaten the previous night for breakfast and then i came down here and i'll still be up at five o'clock this morning yeah that's when i head to bed watching old episodes of sopranos just watching the american

office for the ninth time uh anyway so i phoned lisa go you got a laptop i said i sent you a laptop and i said it says you signed for it but you haven't got it she goes I haven't got a laptop I was like what? and then she goes I did sign for something the other day she goes let me go get it and I was thinking is this what her life is now?

she just doesn't open boxes for her anyway she goes to me it's this I just assumed it was a mistake she opens it up on the phone and it's a fucking

blank greeting card right? what? that's the thing she signed for a blank greeting it's just fucking blank greeting card, right? That's the thing she signed for, a blank greeting. It's just a blank birthday card. So I'm thinking, somebody's felt that it's like a laptop. Whoever's delivering it has felt like it's a laptop and they've just

nicked it. But I just thought this is like a this can't work as a crime because I've got a tracking number and all this shit and they'll know who was the one. So anyway, I phone up Royal Mail and they go, we'll look into it for you. We're going to investigate it. And they get back to me

like a few hours later and they go, no, that is what you ordered. Basically the transaction looks like I've ordered a laptop and they've sent me a greetings card. How does that work? I don't know. I don't know. So then I get in touch. You paid for a laptop? I paid for But no, you paid for a laptop.

I paid for a laptop. Yeah, I paid for a laptop. And you got a greeting card. And on Amazon, the thing that was like the item number and all of that was for what Lisa signed for. And what she signed for was a greeting card, right? So I was like, what the fuck is going on here? So then I get in touch with Amazon. And I go, I've just bought a really expensive greeting card from you and I just

want to sort of know what the hell's going on and then they just email me back honestly within 10 minutes and they went sorry about that we've refunded you but like no explanation or anything so like I reckon it's something that happens quite a lot right I reckon

somebody at the warehouse or somebody along that supply chain has has nicked it or something untoward has happened but it's a scam mate it's a scam yeah but amazon is so massive they just go fuck it we'll just refund do you mean like they just that is genuinely like yeah i mean i've ordered tat off there which i mean not to that extent stuff that i thought was going to be really good and ended up being shit and breaking within fucking a couple of days have you do you write reviews on amazon stuff no i don't i mean that's part of the reason why i don't tend to read too many reviews because i'm a bit suspicious of the thought process that gets you to the point where

you're sat at a keyboard writing a review of something you've bought yeah it's it's a low mate it's a low you know actually one of the saddest points of my whole fucking life genuinely so when we moved into this house i sort of had this intention of sort of like you know you know what i'm gonna i know you know i worked in a building trade for a long time yeah i know bits and do you mean i'm gonna try and be you know um so i thought you, I got myself a toolkit, all those bits and bobs. And when we moved in, the guy said, one of the things he said, be careful.

We all know this, don't hit any pipes, don't hit any electric mains, any wiring around the back of the walls. So I go on Amazon and I buy one, like, one of the things, the scanner thing you put on the link, like a stud finder type thing. And you rub it on the wall. Yeah, yeah, it's the tech stuff, right? Yeah.

So I read the reviews. It's getting amazing reviews. I'm like, this one, yeah, it looks great. And I buy it. I get it over. Like, get home. I'm genuinely excited. How long did you spend reading the reviews on this thing?

About an hour. I went through quite a lot of them. And not just that, I read other ones. What I've learned now, by the way, this is just a healthy tip. If it says like 5,000 reviews and it's got four and a half stars,

that'll give you a fuck. Don't go into a rabbit hole of reading them. Because that's what I was doing. Don't fucking wade through the long grass. Your evidence is there. So I buy this thing and I'm like,

oh, this is going to be amazing. I can't wait a kid pathetic at christmas i unwrap it i'm like yeah i can't wait to get this running on the wall so i run it along where i know a pipe is it beeps and where a wire is and then i'm putting up some uh lights and i start running along the ceiling it beeps for fucking everything everything right and then i'm sort of like trying on the floor, it's just beeping. I try different settings, it's just fucking beeping. Like it's fucking with me. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know if you have this,

like with inanimate objects, but I'm like, this is genuinely, this is so pathetic. Well, once out of the time, and I'm doing this, and I'm trying to put these pictures, and it's beeping, and it's beeping.

I'm like, why are you doing this to me? I'm a nice person. I say this to a stuntman. Why did you do this to me? What have I done to you? It's an animal object. I was not going to go, sorry, mate. Yeah, I made the situation wrong.

I was having a joke. I'm new here. Right? So I'm new here. Right? So I'm running it around and it's just beeping everywhere. And I just like lost my shit of it. And I just like,

I just threw it on the floor and then I threw it in the bin. So I couldn't send it back. It was broken. And I was just seething, seething, right? And I thought, right, yeah,

I'll fucking show him. I'm going to write a review on Amazon. And I wrote a review that was so, I'd have to find it. It was so pathetic. It was like, called the best stud finder, like the worst stud finder. I've brought this for my new home. It's ruined my day.

And I just wrote this really like, you know, probably other things going on in my head at the time. Money issues, can I pay the mortgage, all of that stuff. Have a bit more than I can chew by this house. Do I need a house this size? And it's all just fucking acclimatised.

We're fucking just going two feet in on a fucking stud finder. Oh, you, you know, absolute prick, mate. Absolute prick. Like a wind up merchant. Do not buy. Do not, and absolute prick, mate. Absolute prick. Like a wind-up merchant. Do not buy. Do not.

And capital letters underlined. Do not buy. Do not buy. Absolutely seething with it. But I actually found the whole thing quite cathartic. At the end of it, when Catherine got home, I was... Hold on. When you told Catherine what you'd done, what did she say?

Oh, she was just like, well, firstly she said, well, you could have sent it back, where is it? And I said, I threw it on the floor and I kicked it, and that's in the bin. Yeah. I mean, if Lisa came home and found that I'd written an Amazon review of a product I bought after smashing it in a rage, I think she'd probably stage

some sort of intervention yeah you know the worst thing is well katherine tarrell you've had a tiz such an amazing that's what do you know what lisa does that she like if i get pissed off about something she'd go i'll just wait for you to calm down a bit shall i oh yeah that's the worst it's like a fucking toddler or yeah or i'll. Or I'll be annoyed about something, and then later on, a lot later on in the day, I'll sort of pop in and say,

you're right, just go, come down from your little mood, have you? Like that. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God.

And then you've just got to relax your shoulders, go and write a review about something else. And then you've just got to relax your shoulders, go and write a review about St. Al's. Mate, do you know what that thing about you going, about you talking to an inanimate object? I have that every now and again with just situations where it wasn't with an inanimate object i've got this really vivid memory i'm sorry to bring it back to this toilet stuff but i remember driving to a gig in nottingham right and i just finished school i was still teaching and i was driving up to nottingham

straight after school like so i was pushing it i mean finish school at four got to be on stage at eight right so it's a bit of a bit of a tight one so i'm i jump i jump i jump in the car and i'm driving and i just i need a shit so badly right like just it just comes over me just consumes my every molecule of my being right and it happens so instantly and then just as i'm driving and i'm needing a shit i can't see any services or any signs for services or anything, right? It's like it's going to be fucking ages, right? And I'm sitting there thinking, it's becoming a very real possibility now

that I am going to shit myself in this car, right? Or I'm going to have to like, or I'm going to have to pull over and like squat in, I mean, you talk about the long grass. It's not very long grass on the motorway verges there. So might as well shit on the road if you're going to go into the grass there. So I'm just driving along. And I was so desperate.

I was so in pain. I was so in agony. I just went, I just, I just, I'm just trying to make it a comedy. Mate, it's so shameful. I know that feeling. Do you know, I mean, you seem to have got past it. I still have it with me. I took up golf for enjoyment, right?

I took up golf. And this is the same thing because I know what you're like. I ended up having rows with myself. Like, you're like i took i i ended up having rows with myself like you're pathetic why did you take up this game what are you idiot why did you take up a game where there's so many different technicalities take up bowls you fucking silly fat prick it's genuinely like i've been to like counseling and therapy over the years right for like you know various things and one of the things they always say to me is, you've got to get control of your inner voice, right?

Your inner voice. I've talked about this in the past. My inner voice is a bastard, right? And you and I share this, that our inner voice is an absolute prick, right? And a lot of people have this. But I wish it was just restricted to my inner voice. The way that I speak to myself out loud is fucking insane.

Mate, I will like, I'll be sometimes like going I'll be sometimes like going to do something and go, well, why would that ever fucking work? You fucking dickhead. You're a fucking idiot. And you think you've got the right to walk on here and do this job. And you think you're the best person for this job, you fucking moron. There are a thousand people that could do this better than you. You prick.

You piece of shit. I was saying to Rob, I was saying to Rob, I once, like, it's not even like with the physical stuff as well. We were in South Africa doing the cricket episode and I'd like been eating and drinking really badly. I walked, the bathroom in this lodge that we're staying in, South Africa was like it was massive mirror right i walked to the shower and i just looked in the mirror at myself

and i said out loud i hate your body right jesus like to myself out loud but as if i was talking to someone else it's mental it's mental and also like when you say a bastard like my inner voice isn't a bastard to like anyone else apart from yourself correct like i've got a flat in london right and i'm trying to keep it neat just for my mental health and trying to train and i'm like for me for i try to have a little bit of order right so i've been drinking like bottles of water right and i put them all in the place i'm like i need to find somewhere to go i can put these for recycling right so they're on the side and and i've got to grab my like script my sides for that day and as i grab the sides i knock one of the bottles which not hits all of

the bottles so all of the bottles are just falling over the floor and i literally had a proper breakdown of going um why would you do that to like like a thousand times i could have picked up that script and i wouldn't have hit those water bottles and they're just all falling over the floor and then i'm trying to get them and then a plate's falling over and then i'm just like why me like and in the end i went you this is this is this is my fucking version of what you said right i look down and there's a plate on the floor and there's an old bit of fucking toast with harvey and toast with some fucking marmite and there's an old bit of fucking toast with, I've eaten toast with some fucking Marmite peanut butter that's stuck to the fucking ground now.

There's bottles all over the gaff. And I just went, you deserve to live like a pig. In my head, I was like, you're trying to do it nice. You're trying to be reasonable, but you don't. You clearly can't live like that. That's not for you. You deserve rubbish and litter strewn around the floor and then do you know what that's how i live for the remaining three or four days i'd fucking finish

with a pair of pants and just leave i'd be folding them and putting them in my bag for dirty washing that isn't you anyway you can't you're not right for that life it's so frustrating oh god ever so let me and while we're talking about poos, by the way, this is just something to ready yourself for. This is one of the lowest points of my week, is I was dying for a shit on set, right? And you know as well, me and you,

we joke about this, but when you're filming stuff, you're in someone else's house, filming, and you're very anxious. Oh God, this is awful. And it's not just me and you there,

when we're filming Gary, or me and laura or whatever there's a crew of 40 people everyone's been amazing when it comes to the covid the social distancing but we're in a house it's fucking you know pretty difficult to fucking get that you know and number one one of my biggest bugbears i don't know where you stand on this is the downstairs toilet doesn't have a lock-in so there's no lock in the downstairs toilet and i don't know that seems to be like a thing i don't understand why so should i tell you what should i tell you why it's a thing do you know why it's a thing god because you're not supposed to shit in

the downstairs toilet yeah but even if you're having a piss people would you know two people on me having a wee on set. It was so embarrassing. So embarrassing. Oh, sorry. And then you know that, you know, it's just like, I'm like,

why not put a fucking lock there? So I went, oh, they might have children. Put a fucking lock on the top of the door then so they can't reach it. Because for anyone who's coming into this, I wouldn't have a shit in like,

you know, we all know I've been here with the potpourri story. But this is, so this is the end to this. We have, I mean, you have trailers that we use,

right? That we get changed in and we have for our, but anyway, so I went, at least you can go back on set. And I went, well, I can't,

can I? Cause I'm too big to use the toilet in my fucking trailer. And they were laughing about this. Romesh. And I'll show you this and you will get, we'll get photographic evidence of you. Cause it is genuinely funny, but it's also very, I'm too big to fit where the toilet's put on this trailer like genuinely

too big i can't i can't get i can just about piss in it but i can't actually squeeze between where they put the shower and where they put the toilet so it's literally and and i showed a couple of people just to prove this evidence. And you've got shoulders. You're a relatively big guy. Honestly, I'd say that you're going to struggle. I know Simon Day did, and you're about the same stamp as him. Okay. Well, look, I don't...

Honestly, I can see your face already. I don't anticipate... I would never, ever, ever, ever take a shit in one of those trailers. What? I've done so many. I've done about 150 over the years. I don't think in one of those trailers. What? I've done so many. I've done about 150 over the years. I don't think I've ever done it. What?

Yeah, I genuinely don't know. Where do you go? I either sort of try and look around or go nearby to see if there's somewhere that's got like a toilet or I just am in agony for the rest of the day's filming. Mate, do you know what? Look, I know that we said that we were going to do a scat special but i just i just want to

tell this one shit story then we're getting to emails all right i was doing i was doing a gig in south end right i love i love south end by the way fucking great place to do gigs anyway love it i had had well it doesn't matter what i'd The problem was, is that my stomach was a little bit funky, right? But I thought I'd got it under control at the tour show. I was doing two halves this tour show. I could do the first half, great, had fun, sit in the dressing room, relaxed, stomach issues all done. I go out for the second half.

As I'm about to walk onto stage, literally the second I was about to walk onto stage, literally the second I'm about to walk onto stage, the music started, the intro started and everything. I need a shit, like desperately, right? Urgently, right? But I don't, I can't, I haven't, I've got to make a split second decision there. Do I stop the music, get on the mic and go,

I'm going to be five minutes. And we don't know I'm going to be five minutes and we don't know i'm gonna be five minutes because i don't know what demon is waiting inside me to to come out right but what are your harry potter monsters yeah fucking death eater out the anus or do i do i just go on stage anyway i panicked and I just went on stage, right? And do you know how, you know how like normally they can have this thing called doctor theatre, don't they? Where no matter how rough you're feeling or how ill you're feeling

or whatever situation you've got, when you get into a performance situation, your body just goes, we're going to make you feel all right until this is finished, right? Do you know what I mean? It's like something weird that happens, right? That did not happen for me.

I felt vividly and strongly that I needed a shit and I was in agony. And I'm telling you now, first of all, what I'll tell you is this. Normally, when I do a tour show, I'm loose, I'm looking around. If something happens in the room, I start riffing on it. Literally, that day, if somebody could have fucking caught fire

and I would not have deviated from my set, right? I absolutely just had to rattle this out. Anyway, partway through the thing, I just started thinking to myself, genuinely, I've become so desperate, I genuinely start contemplating the idea of just trying to shit and get away with it. I started thinking maybe I could just... Oh my

God. Oh my God. In the middle of the gig I was sort of thinking I'm trying to predict what might happen if I shit. It'll sort of fill my pants. So I probably can't walk as freely as I have been up to this point. Oh, my God. And then I started thinking, but no, but then even if I do that,

it might go down my legs and then people in the front row might start to smell it and then people in the front row might start to smell it. And then it's such a fucking low. I mean, literally that is the low of all low. Why couldn't you have just said, cause you'd have got a big laugh if you'd just gone on the mic before you went and got lazy gentlemen. Um,

this is rubbish jumping in. Uh, I do need a really big poo. Um, so just bear with me. Could you not? Do you know what? Do you know what, mate? I'm going to be to be honest with you that is what i that's what i would have liked to and i would happily do that do you mean i'm all in favor of just being very honest with the audience and

like like you said it's a funny it's a funny thing it's not like i'm fucking like some i've not i've not got to be cool do you mean i'm just like a comic so i could just say i just want to go and have a shit but the timing of it was like as the music started and i got intro'd on it was like oh do i need do i need a shit and then as i walked on i mean the truth is though i could have walked what would have been hilarious if i walked on and just gone i didn't realize i need a shit and i do see in five minutes and then just walk straight back off again but yeah i don't know because it's easier for a comic than it is a singer because Because if you're Katy Perry or like Pink or someone in that situation.

Yeah. Or Bruce Springsteen. Hey, everybody, I need a pause. Yeah. But when I come back, I'll do Born in the USA like three times. Yeah, I'll come back and then you're going to blow your mind out.

You know what I think actually, I mean we're getting dragged into the shit talk again you know who I think broke down and this is a big shout going out to Gary Lineker

I think he broke down a lot of walls when it comes to sort of people shitting themselves and shit going down when he did it on the pitch and I think he

you know we should all fucking bow down to Gary for a lot of reasons but that's one of the things I respect most about him that's one of the things I respect most about him. That's one of the things you respect most about him.

Yeah. That he had a stomach problem and shat on the pitch. That's one of the things you respect most about him. Yeah, that he told everyone about it. So it's like, you know what? Well, he had to tell everyone about it. He was wiping his ass on the turf. Yeah, but he did it in a way that now there's times when

if I will think about life and go, if you shit yourself, Gary Lineker did it. That's fine. Arguably the greatest goal scorer of our country. Probably one of our best broadcasters. He shat himself in front of millions of people and he's still one of the coolest people that we have. So, if

he can do that, a big doofus like me shits himself and that would be the thing I'd say. Gary Lineker did it and look, look what he's become. He hosts match of the day. I'm going to tell you something now. I love Gary Lineker. I think he's absolutely brilliant. He was a great servant for the country.

As you said, one of the greatest goal scorers that we've ever seen. If I'd shat myself on stage in Southend thinking about Gary Lineker having done it previously would have done absolutely nothing for my mental state. No, I think, but that's the thing that Gary's done. That's what I'd say to, look, mate,

there's a lot for me and Gary to talk about when I see him. A lot, you know. King Gary is one of the reasons I call Gary is because Gary's a Bastion name and that's because of Gary Lineker, right? But if I was to meet Gary Lineker, I would have a beer with him. I'd have a little bit of a laugh with him.

And then I'd say, can I just have a quiet word away from, like, you know, wherever we're at, the Sportsperson of the Year Awards and the BAFTAs and, you know, or maybe I bumped into him sort of in Cafe Nero.

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gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Anytime I worry about my shit myself, I think about you and the confidence eroded from you and that you it was everything turned out okay and i think a lot of us can find solace in that so thank you okay i've got three or four things i want to ask about that yeah uh first of all um you and i have talked about interactions with people in the past. Yeah.

And you think it's okay. Saying what you've just said to me, what you've said to me over the past few episodes of Wolf and Al about your interactions with members of the public, you would say, if you bumped into Gary Lineker, Gary Lineker just trying to get on with his own life, Cafe Nero arguably even worse than if you saw him at the BAFTAs or Sports Persona of the Year, you would ask to take him to one side

so that you could have a chat with him. I would chat to him for a bit. I talk about the easy stuff. Yeah, you'd chat to him for a bit and then that's not good enough for you. You'd go, look, can you come over here? And then I'm going to tell you what Gary would say, Tom. I'm going to say what Gary would say.

He'd say no, okay? He would say no because he doesn't know you. Right? He might say yes. No, look look i'm not going to go in fucking tough straight away talking about him shitting like the poo thing that he's a beacon of hope i firstly would shake his hand shake by the end and say thank you for the goals thank you for the goals okay then i would say you've already you've already so you they i would

say you've already marked yourself out as a weirdo, but go on. Then I'd say to him, have you found out making the move from a footballer into a broadcaster? What car are you driving? I'd probably drop a couple of compliments so he knows that I'm a nice guy. I'd say, well, nice socks, mate. Just have a little bit of a chin wag. Probably crack a few jokes about other people in the room.

Then I'd say, when I have his confidence and I'd say, Gary, can I just, can I just, you know, by the way, I wouldn't take him into a corridor or something. I'd just pull us away from other people who might be listening. And, you know, actually being completely frank, I'd say it in front of people, but I just, that's more for Gary than me. And I'd just say, let me shake your bloody hand and just say to you, mate, thank you. At least if you said it in front of people, that just that's more for gary than me and i'll just say that let me shake your bloody head and just say to you mate thank you at least if you said it in front of people that would be sort of a nice alert for people around him to not allow you to to be on your own together um but you're it's such it's such a time burglar strategy by the way that you're demonstrating you're gonna have a chat with him you're gonna ease him into it it's just it's just classic by the way When you meet someone that you like,

this, I don't know if it's a particularly male thing, but this idea that you're going to banter him into a place where he's just going to go, do you know what, Tom? I will step to one side of you because you've shown yourself to be a funny and humorous bloke that I think I'd like to hang out with. It's such a fucking, such a male thing. You know what I do as well?

What I forgot to say is when I walk over, I'll grab him like two, three beers and give him them. Sure. Okay. I would also argue that makes it considerably worse. Tom, we're 50 minutes into this. Do you want to do some emails? Yeah.

Yeah, we could do one email now. We're doing a bonus one as well, right? Yeah, we are doing a bonus one. So should we do it? Yeah, let's do it. Hit us off with it. All right. Do you want to make a choice? I've picked out a few. Do you want a choice? Go one, yeah. So should we do it? Yeah, let's do it. Hit us up with it. All right, do you want to, do you want to do a choice?

I've picked out a few. Do you want a choice? Go on, yeah. DIY. Yeah. Something about exercise. Yeah.

Something about haircuts. I've not really got much on haircuts. And something about ghosting your friends. Well, let's go, actually,

let's go with haircuts. Okay. Go with haircuts. All right. This is from Bob from Brum. Brum is Birmingham, just for anyone who didn't know. If you didn't know that, stop listening to this podcast, please. Look, by the way, we've got a lot.

We're getting more and more people who listen to this podcast from foreign shores. Okay? Yeah. Do you know what? Actually, I'm going to tell you now. You're absolutely right. I was trying to be funny. It was actually quite rude and ignorant of me so i apologize for that yeah if you were there

with me and gary liniker he'd be going oh yeah i'll go let's just get away from ron i hope he would because an evening with you and gary liniker sounds like absolute fucking hell to be honest with you um by the way if anyone wants to go back and watch a night with g Lineker, it's one of the best shows that Channel 4 have ever produced. Just saying that. Before we get into this, right, by the way, I do want to talk about the fact that I have had to, in order to get to these emails that we can actually use in the podcast, I've had to trawl through dozens of emails saying,

Rom is a sweet soul like with a picture of some fucking prick. Thanks to you. How many do you think? So many. And the worst thing is it's not even like they've listened to you and done it in a nice way.

I'll give you an example of some of the people that I've been sent a photo of. Harold Shipman was one. That's not my fault. I thought genuinely they'd sent someone of like Alison Hammond or someone who's just got a sweet, lovely way about them.

Simon Cowell I got as another one. Darth Vader. That was genuinely from my place because i was really worried about you yeah at that point so i was hoping that they would be really sweet ones well they weren't um okay so here's a here's the email dear wolf for now first up love the podcast it beats it beats driving in silence as the air was broken on my van thank you so much i'm looking for your advice and wisdom on two issues if you could i've heard you talking about

the smash hit aussie show married at first sight and it sounds pretty crazy i've been single now for a year and lockdown doesn't help facebook has obviously been monitoring this has been placing adverts all over it applying for the uk version of the show should i do this if so how is best yes do it do it do it do it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what the fuck are you talking about but we know you're an insider then. It'd be like the FBI. We'd have our own fucking guy inside. Agent Bob. Yeah, on the UK version of the show.

Yeah, I know, but yeah, I mean, I think they're sectioning it up this year. I think it's going to be more like the Australian version. Okay, fine. So when you say do it, do it, do it, you're saying that from a purely selfish point of view. Is that... No, I'm just saying it would be great for the listeners,

it would be great for me and for Bob. Like, we'd have an insider in. We could get him on the show to chat about his experiences. Okay. Bob, I'm going to tell you this now. I think you should have a think about that. All right. Because it's quite an exposing thing to get involved in.

You're, you're, you're put under a microscope. You could possibly come across badly. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. It might, because there's some people that have done it. That has absolutely been like the greatest thing ever. Right. For them.

I'm just saying, think about it carefully, have a consideration, but there's no reason why you shouldn't. There's no reason particularly why you should. Tom, on the other hand, doesn't give a fuck.

As long as you, as long as you stay in touch with us, if you get on the show, he wants you to do it. All right. So, but let me just say on Married at First you to do it all right so but um let me just say on married at first sight it's the last episode is out this uh on monday so big things

guys i get a lot of messages so yeah um we don't talk about as much on the podcast but yeah i'm very looking forward to monday i watch friday's episode buzzing for monday okay well thank you for that tom even further away from giving bob any kind of concrete advice there um bob can i can i give you some can i give you some genuine advice because he said here how should i approach it can i just tell you something do not try and second guess what the producers are looking for all right that is my key bit of advice to you answer the questions honestly do not try and be funny you can be witty if you want but don't try and do jokes and don't try and be wacky and think i'm going to

stand out by doing this just be yourself be honest be open on your application if you don't get chosen that is the right decision okay you might feel like it's not and you might think oh fucking hell they've chosen other people that are gonna i'm telling you now they know the composition of the show it's not because you're less fun or you'd be less interesting there's so many different variables please do not take it as an insult if you don't get if you don't get picked exactly that's all i'm saying and if i could give you any advice is try and be like mick that's exactly what i'd do because mick's just been himself through the whole thing okay so oh right okay yeah but don't try and be like Mick. That's exactly what I'd do. Cause Mick's just been himself through the whole thing. Okay. So.

Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. But don't try and be like Mick. If you're nothing like Mick, don't be like Mick. Oh,

don't be. The way, the way you delivered that was, it couldn't have been a bigger contradiction for what I said. No, no, but that's what I mean is like, be like Mick in a way that Mick has just been himself.

Not be like, don't turn up and just be exactly like Mick. Yeah, just follow exactly what... Are you from Birmingham then, Bob? Yeah, too fucking right. I've got a farm over in... Yeah, yeah. Handle yourself like Mick and be yourself.

That's the biggest evidence I can give you. So getting on to the hair side of it. My hair has got pretty long and wild with barbers being shut and i now feel it'd be a waste to cut it to my usual short length when they reopen watching the rugby recently i've noticed that how many are rocking the redneck mullet is this a style you would recommend for an overweight short guy in his mid-30s cheers bob from brum what do you think tom bob own it and live it my friend only as a bald man who used to have long glorious hair and curtains and i cut my hair short for so many years and it's been one of my big regrets uh genuinely if i see someone now who's got a

beautiful hairline but they've cut it short and it's skinhead or, you know, even if they're busting some sort of French crop vibe, I just want to go up and shake them and go, just fucking grow it long. Like, just fucking be free. Like, you know, because it's a sad moment in your life. I remember as a kid, you used to be able to go into a barber's and you'd have a picture of, like, Chris Waddle

or someone who was amazing or Gary Lineker, and you'd say, barber's and you have the picture like chris waddle or someone who's amazing or garen in a car and you say oh can i have my hair like this please and you try to barber and he put you on a barber's chair and he cut your hair somewhat like that and then you feel like a million bucks and then fast forward fucking until you're like 38 37 38 and your hair's going and you go with a picture of jason statham and fucking say can you do my hair like this and the guy just laughs in your face honestly babe honestly it is it's a low so enjoy that long hair fucking have a mullet try it fucking experiment mate you know i say to rom every i'm looking at rom now and he's got his wild beautiful hair and i'm like fucking have curtains for a little bit

i can't do something amazing with it rom's hairline is one of the most glorious things about him. And I look at him with awe. And what are the five things I love most about Rob? His decency, his swag, and his hair. And then there's two other things which I can't think of at the moment. But his hair is in that top five. First of all, Bob, I would agree with Tom to a point.

What I would say is don't ever take a picture into a hairdresser's with you, regardless of what that picture is. Did you not go in with an old shoot magazine back in the day? You know what I don't understand about you? As soon as you get caught on a path now, because we talked about Gary Lineker,

that is now where all of your references for the rest of the episode have got to come from no no gary lineker had cool hair i mean i could never have it i did have like a little bit of a mullet for sure but i'm sure but i'm telling you now if we hadn't talked about gary lineker earlier there's no fucking way you would have brought him up in this conversation it's just classic i mean have you seen what he's done with his facial hair it's very cool and edgy yeah it is very cool uh gary linacre if you want to come on the podcast please do let us know we'd love to have you on um bob what i would say to you is this um loads of blokes get frozen in a lot of people talk about this blokes get frozen in a look right they they

get a hairstyle and they get a an outfit you know we see so many blokes like you go to a pub or something and you see a bloke and he's wearing a fred perry top and jeans and you know that he's been wearing a variation of that exact look and having that exact hairstyle for 20 years right preach preach brother preach what you need to do or what i what you got to do is liberate yourself from that right now you're in a situation where you've grown your hair quite long you don't necessarily have to keep it long but this is a good opportunity to go well what hairstyle should i have if it might be the mullet it might be something else do you mean it might be i don't know any other hairstyles but it might be it could be whatever right so what I would say to you

an undercut would look good go back 90s go an undercut I'd love to have an undercut so what you need to do is say to a hairdresser or have a look online do a bit of research

like treat researching a new hairstyle like Tom does a stud finder do you know what I mean put some time into it invest a little bit of time

into seeing what the best thing might be for you and then fucking go there get yourself a fabulous new style and feel like a million dollars and then you know what'll happen is you'll get the haircut you will look fucking fresh to death you won't even want to go and marry it at first sight because you'll be so fucking hot the confidence will be flowing through your veins you're going to be fucking visiting smash town every night for the next six months to a year, mate.

Go on, Bobby boy. And also, guys, just a quick shout out there. If anyone's got any wacky haircuts or hair advice, you know where to come. Send your pictures in

to wolfmanowpod at gmail.com. Please do. Please do. Keep sending your pictures into an audio format. Fuck yeah. Right, Tom. That's what makes me laugh so much.

All I love is just the thought of Lisa going, what's wrong? I've got fucking 500 pictures of people's hair. I've got fucking 500 pictures of people's hair. Right, Tom, it's about that time, brother. Can you take us out? And the world turns and turns. And ye will look across the sky.

And the weather that once was has passed. And a new season comes to form but once for the new season comes a new you maybe look we are all stuck sometimes within the barricades of our capabilities whether that means how we look or how we feel or maybe the confidence to just stand up and say, yo, shit boy, I want to give myself a new lawnmower. Do some research on that. Do some research on lots of things, but be free with it. Be free and own the swagger that you walk with. Remember that we can build upon the view that is there already. When you look in the mirror on a new season's day,

whether that should be autumn, winter, spring, or fall, or summer, remember, you are not a prisoner to who you used to be. There's another you ready to be born. That was lovely. I've got one question. Do you say fall in everyday conversation? No, I just like the way it sounds within the confines it does sound as soon as i said autumn i felt absolutely disgusting autumn

should be shuffled within the fucking seasons as that yeah yeah okay you got spring summer autumn winter whereas fall is so fucking you go go, yeah, we've got spring, summer, winter, fall. Fall is just a beautiful word. It's quite literal, isn't it? It's a bit on the nose. Do you not think? Yeah. What, fall? Nah.

What do you mean, nah? If I was going to get a T-shirt with the season printed on it, I'd have fall. And then gradually what happens, yeah, I'm going to, it's quite cool when autumn rolls around and I've got this fall T-shirt on because it feels like really off the moment. I think I might invest in some other seasons. My sweet souls, you've been lovely. So thank you for listening. Thank you so much for listening.

See you in a bit. Bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.