Wolf and Owl - Episode 15

Episode Date: March 10, 2021

We’re talking… Pelé and the pitfalls of panel shows, stand-up shockers, lookalikes (or not at all-alikes) and celebrity snaps. Plus some advice on careers, a change of heart and a heated debate a...bout losing a customer. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:36 And goes far. It's how we made it more WAP. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Yeah. Welcome Bringing his head spinning, just kidding Every word in his songs about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Dog, dog, dog, dog Welcome to the Wolf on Owl podcast! Yes! It's getting harder and harder to do these really eventful openings, isn't it? I know, I know, there's only so many options that you've got Well, not just options that are in the world Options that I've got in my locker You know what I mean? It's not like you've got. Well, not just options that are in the world, options that I've got in my locker.
Starting point is 00:02:05 You know what I mean? It's not like I've got a great range. I've got the film voice and I use that. I'm sort of thinking of probably episode 25, I'll bring that back. Yeah, you'll roll that back, yeah. You ever do a panel show when somebody keeps coming back to the same callback a little bit too much
Starting point is 00:02:21 and then you're just like, okay, man. Yeah, panel shows are really weird. I genuinely, even you just said panel show. This is no joke. a little bit too much and then you're just like okay yeah panel shows are really weird i think i genuinely even you just said panel show this is no joke as you said panel show like my i felt that it's horrible warmth for this horrible like feeling you get you know like you're a bit more seasoned with than i am but i used to hate i hated them with so much like just having to turn up and the thought of but i died twice on panel shows and it was absolutely awful like like terrible like even now i'm having fucking flashbacks it was fucking yeah have we have we have i have i told you the story about was it
Starting point is 00:02:56 something i not was it something i said i can't remember what it was some show on channel four right i think i can't remember who was hosting it but it was really early in my career so basically before obviously when you do panel shows before they do the panel shows they do like run throughs of them and they're like they'll hire out a pub or whatever and they'll try the format out so i got up and when you start out in comedy they'll ask you they want to have a look at you or they'll just think oh that that's somebody that's not ready to do the show but let's have a look at them in a you know they'll be good enough to do the run for like a football trial isn't it like you're you're going to trial at a big club but really the truth is you get all
Starting point is 00:03:31 excited because you think you're being tried out but you're not it's actually the show's being tried out and they know they can get you for 40 quid so i went and did one of those and for some reason stars aligned and i had a blinder right but i didn't think anything of it i just phoned my agent afterwards i said that you know i i think it went well blah blah but i didn't you know that that was all i thought of it anyway when the actual show came around they might they had a last minute dropout right right and so i got the phone call saying, Rom, amazing news. They've had a dropout, and you did so well in the run-through.
Starting point is 00:04:10 They want you to come and do the main show. You know that, by the way, just to throw in, that's how Pelé started his career for Brazil. Not on a panel show, but... Pelé, famously, it was a very early episode of Would I Lie To You, where midway through the episode, they asked him to juggle a tangerine. And then somebody said,
Starting point is 00:04:30 this guy, he's got something about him football-wise. He's been absolutely dreadful on the show. Just absolutely, nothing even approaching a quick wit. And he can't really speak English that well. So actually in that way. What I'm saying is someone pulled out, Pele was like, oh, I'll have a drop of that. And they'd seen that he had potential.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And that's very much so. I mean, your career is a little bit like Pele's. Pele, one of the greatest footballers of all time. And also, you know, that's one of the things he's famous for. The other thing he's famous for is counting every goal from when he was four as part of his career tally. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:05:07 I didn't realise that you hated Pelé so much. I don't hate Pelé. I think Pelé's great. But he does, come on, every time that record gets bandied about, they fucking pull another 100 goals out of their arse from when he played for like… I'm sorry, mate. This is
Starting point is 00:05:27 a difference, I suppose, between me and you. You don't know what it's like to have sporting prowess. You don't know what it's like to say sporting prowess. Okay. I'll give you that one. I'll give you a point, kid. Listen, what I'm saying to you
Starting point is 00:05:43 is it's hard when old father time comes a-calling. That's all I'm saying to you is it's hard when old father time comes to call him. That's all I'm saying, mate. So for Pele, he probably thought no one was ever going to touch him. And then Romario, Ronaldo, a lot of these good players came out and they started tickling his toes and now there's a new Ronaldo and Messi.
Starting point is 00:05:59 So the truth of the matter is he's holding on to those glory days. And there's probably going to be a Romesh Ranganathan when you're drawing your pension and you're sort of scurrying around little or wherever like doing your shopping right and someone will say oh you were my favorite you used to be my favorite comedian and that will break your heart because someone else has come along and and done it so for pelle mate give him a bit of love. Seriously, because he needs it right now. I don't know. I don't know how truthful you're being there.
Starting point is 00:06:28 I'm being weird truthful. Okay, fine. Listen, nobody, okay, nobody is going to see Pele's record
Starting point is 00:06:36 get broken and then go, Pele wasn't all that I guess. In the fullness of time we found out that Pele, he was, if somebody said to me now,
Starting point is 00:06:44 I used to rate you as a comedian. I'm still in my fucking career. Right. I'm still doing, I still got, I still want to work. If listen, let me tell you something,
Starting point is 00:06:53 right? If I'm in Sainsbury's or Tesco's or hopefully wait, Joseph, things go. All right. Okay. If I'm in one of those supermarkets and I've retired from comedy, ideally in less than five years. Okay. If I've retired from comedy yeah ideally in less than five years okay
Starting point is 00:07:05 if i've retired from comedy and somebody comes up to me and goes you used to be my favorite comedian i wouldn't give a fuck i'm gonna tell you something now right i would be delighted that i used to be their favorite comedian the fact that i'm no longer their favourite comedian, great. Comedy moves on. Do you know what I mean? Like, I'm done now. I'm going, I'm going to get my shopping. I'm going to go home
Starting point is 00:07:30 and I'm hopefully going to, for the first time, master a vegan Thai green curry as I've been trying to do since I started retirement. That's all I care about at this stage. But for Pele, it's so hard.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Every time he is, you know, Ronaldo, Messi and all that, it's difficult for him. I'm just for Pele, it's so hard. Every time he is, you know, Ronaldo, Messi and all that, it's difficult for him. I'm just saying, mate, it's like... No, do you know what? I never thought I'd have to say it to you,
Starting point is 00:07:51 but show a little bit of respect on that name, yeah? Oh, my God. Before anybody messages in, I'm not trying to disrespect Pele. He's great, okay? Sometimes I feel like I'm being taken too... I was about to say I feel like I'm being taken too seriously. I'm not trying to disrespect Pelé. He's great. Okay. Sometimes I feel like I'm being taken too. I was about to say I feel like I'm being taken too seriously.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I'm not taken seriously enough in this fucking industry. Yeah, but that's what Pelé's probably saying right now. No, he's not. There's a lot of sentiments between you and... No, he's not. Pelé's saying, yes, I will do another rectal dysfunction ad. Mate, big props for him for that, mate, for bringing that to people's attention because
Starting point is 00:08:25 what a g man what a guy what an honorable citizen anyway you were saying about the panel show yes so i did the panel show and on that panel show was mickey flanagan uh i believe david mitchell was on it i I think Richard Arwada may have been on it. And Jason Manford. So we're talking about big names. And also, I think we can accept that the move towards booking more equally gender-wise hadn't quite come into force yet. Anyway, when the show started, right, so I was excited, nervous, way too early for me to be doing this right way too early
Starting point is 00:09:06 okay but i'm thinking you know i'm building this up in my head this could be this is it now do you know i mean i'm gonna go on i'm gonna do well on this and then i'm fucking i'm in i'm in i'm in the game i'm pelle right um anyway they introduced everyone else onto the thing they introduced me onto the studio floor and obviously nobody has got a clue who i am obviously and they've seen and everybody else is massive on that show like well huge you know all those names are like people love those guys right so first of all i had to deal with that i then said about i would say rough estimate let me think three things out loud on that show right one of which got a laugh and i think it might have been me just repeating something jason manford had said okay like like like brutal brutal record
Starting point is 00:09:59 right yeah yeah i come off my agent at the time says, uh, that was great. And I say, um, it doesn't feel like I said a lot. That's that might have be how it feels like, but don't worry about that. Anyway, on the day that the show went out,
Starting point is 00:10:15 uh, I was very excited. They said, if you'd like me, if you'd like, I was trying to be self deprecating, right? If you,
Starting point is 00:10:22 but I was also, you got to combine the fact that I was was trying to be self-deprecating but also couldn't believe i was on tv right there's two things that are running in direct opposition with each other yeah so i i i put up on facebook what why you laugh i know why you're laughing because you recognize you recognize and i know you recognize he's going and it's a horrible feeling but that's how i deal with this sort of stuff so i put on facebook if you uh if you think you might enjoy seeing me smile and laugh at other people's jokes then watch this show tonight on channel four right anyway the show goes i didn't watch obviously because even then i couldn't fucking bring myself to watch anything i do um after it went out i just got loads of comments going i thought you
Starting point is 00:11:12 were joking when you said it was just you laughing and looking at other people but that is genuine honestly i don't think in that edit i say a single thing but i think there's one point at which i may say pardon to somebody because i didn't hear him properly nothing mate to give you to give you to give you so they didn't even use any of the three things just to sort of i don't think so i don't think so mate and to give you a bit of context tom i would say my appearance in the cupboard on soccer am was better than that panel show I need to go back and watch this. Mate, honestly, though, it's so hard. So I had a similar thing, but mine was on,
Starting point is 00:11:55 the first panel show I ever did, I got a call up because like you, someone had dropped out and it was a non-TX pilot, which is a pilot that doesn't go out. No one sees it, doesn't see it a lot of day. But actually I had a really, I had a decent enough appearance on it. It was like,
Starting point is 00:12:09 I sort of played the whole fact that no one knew me. And it was with Greg James hosted, or a picture you lot, I think, Lethal Bizzle. Yeah. So it was like, that example was on it.
Starting point is 00:12:21 So, and I thought, actually I've sort of done okay on that. Now, now to give people a bit of context on this,'s just said he's done okay i can only assume from what he's just said that he fucking blew the roof off the studio and people were ejaculating all over the studio floor about how well he'd done because i've never heard tom do a panel show without texting me or phoning me afterwards going that might be the worst thing that's ever happened to comedy yeah yeah well right so it was okay like that yeah it was okay
Starting point is 00:12:51 i was like and by the way when someone had pulled out i can't remember who it was anyway i was like you know wow you know and doing a panel show back then was like a massive thing like you say you you kind of it's the it was the big big thing that all of us were trying to get and there's a certain amount of spots there was there's a generational thing i think in comedy yeah well there was there was a time when if you did a couple of panel shows you could tour off the back of that yeah i mean if you had if you had a great live at the apollo you go and tour off of that right and like so when we when tom when you and i started i think like that was like at the tail end of that
Starting point is 00:13:25 of that sort of happening do you know what I mean so it was like so like doing a panel show just felt so fucking massive it felt like the big so that one that non-TX pilot
Starting point is 00:13:33 had gone alright and someone had been there and said alright you know we're doing Sweat the Small Stuff yeah let's get Tom on that
Starting point is 00:13:41 this is before Murder Unsuccessful right and you know yeah if we're saying you're a Pele, you get called up. Like, I felt like, I felt like something like literally about eight different players
Starting point is 00:13:51 had sort of been injured and they called me up into an England squad with no expectation that I'd play. And, but, right, so you're up there with Mickey Flanagan, Richard Adeoli, Jason Manford. These guys are, David Mitchell, these guys are stalwarts like let me say
Starting point is 00:14:06 Mickey Flanagan maybe the best stand-up incredible he was a massive massive hero to me Mitchell great these guys are
Starting point is 00:14:13 right I was on there with Spencer Matthews Sarah Harding bless her who was very sweet Nick Grimshaw obviously is hosting the thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:27 I think Ian Sterling was on it. Yeah, Ian was on it. Yeah. And I don't know, some other sort of reality type people. And I sort of made the joke that no one knew who I was. And to that joke, Sarah Harding sort of was really sweet about it, but actually came across like she felt really, really sorry for me and didn't get the fact I was self-deprecating.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh, no. So I sort of thought, you know what? When I did that non-TX one, I just said loads of stuff and I hoped for the best. On this one, I launched into story upon story and halfway through, Spencer Matthews or someone will cut off by going, I don't know what you're talking about oh my god mick grimshaw would be all right i will wrap it up there mate and it would just be like absolutely painful like to the point of like if they if i
Starting point is 00:15:17 was a racehorse they'd have taken me off on after like the fourth furlong because it was embarrassed and and what i at the time was trying to do is go oh you know what i'll just keep going and something someone had told me and you probably got this where when you're starting out people are like just get enough stuff and they can use five or six bits i took that literally is just keep on saying stuff and none of it worked it was honestly it was like no one talked to me afterwards in the bar like no one it was like horrific
Starting point is 00:15:49 I've had that I've had that Ian Sterling bless him and Ian Sterling is one of my dear friends love Ian
Starting point is 00:15:53 he could barely look at me in the eye after I mean and Ian had a shocker by the way Ian would tell you Ian would tell anyone
Starting point is 00:15:58 and Ian's very open and you know me and Ian it was horrible neither of us we sat there with a pint each and Ian let me tell you he's one of the most confident people I know within our industry like you know, me and Ian, it was horrible. Neither of us, we sat there with a pint each. And Ian, let me tell you,
Starting point is 00:16:05 he's one of the most confident people I know within our industry. Like, you know, love it. We sat there, we couldn't even look at each other in the eye because we, and people were going past Spencer Matthews pissing themselves about an anecdote he told about a fucking holiday he had and sort of slip, fall asleep on a beach
Starting point is 00:16:19 and get burnt or whatever. And that's the moment I was like, this isn't for me. But the thing is though is like it's a weird one because obviously you know both of us have done loads of panel shows since but the truth is like um it's a very specific skill isn't it yeah panel shows and the difference is is that if when when you go on to a panel show now you're more of a known quantity right so people will go this is the sort of thing that if you're booking tom this is the sort of thing he does right and so the show
Starting point is 00:16:52 will accommodate that whereas when you're starting out they just want you to fit into whatever the thing is they're looking for for the show right they're not they're not booking you going oh this is the kind of stuff he does so let's ask him stuff around that or he might do it he might do he's more of a an anecdote guy so let's give him a bit more room or whatever they don't do any of that it's just like they they're booking you and you've got to do and i'm not i'm not complaining about that it's the same as stand-up though isn't it yeah that's just how it is that's just how it is so when you start out sometimes you just have records where you leave and you go, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:27 what I would say is you notice a very different level of treatment when you leave to when you arrive. That's how you normally know how it's gone. How it's gone. Yeah. But equally I've had you text me about doing a show and saying you've had a, you've had a nightmare. And then I've spoken to someone that was there.
Starting point is 00:17:44 I, we had one where I won't name the show, but where like, you know, you came off and you went, you text me going, as we tend to do, we'll text each other if we're sort of, for whatever, you know, if you just sort of go, oh, fucking hell. So you text me going, I've had an absolute,
Starting point is 00:17:59 I've had an absolute shocker there. Like, man, that's really bad. Like, it's really, honestly, mate, really, really bad. And then the same, like at the same time, I get a text message from a mate of mine who was there going, Tom had an absolute blinder tonight. Just totally unprompted. Not even like, you know, not me digging around to see how did Tom really get on. Just unprompted.
Starting point is 00:18:18 So a lot of it is like you just don't know. Yeah, but I think it's so much like down to your own perception of how things go isn't it and it's also it's just such a weird thing of like you know me and you are both we do that a lot it's a weird it's a weird psyche that you constantly i think it's like that impossible imposter syndrome that we both have that's why i think doing stand up when you first start out and like now even now like i sort of realize how blessed i am if i ever go back and do stand up there's a certain amount of people who wouldn't who wouldn't recognize me and go that's his sort of stick yeah when you first start out that's that's really the hardest time of like so hard having to be no one knowing who you are and people then what they do is they make
Starting point is 00:18:59 an assessment whether they like you or not within the first 25 seconds 30 seconds that's i think that's like the actual stat, is that an audience, when they see a comedian they haven't heard of, or they don't know their work, it's 30 seconds. You've got 30 seconds to... That's why so many acts have like a... You know, you have your big opening gag
Starting point is 00:19:18 when you're doing the clubs. When you go and see tour comics, they don't need to do that as much. They come out and they're just like, how's it going, blah, blah, blah, because everyone's on side at that point but when you're doing the fucking some of the old club guys are amazing right when you watch them like did you ever do ever do any of the gong shows no i didn't i signed no do you know what i i i was i was gonna do a gong show to get in with the comedy store.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Yeah. You know, somebody said, oh, a good way of getting in with the comedy store is by doing the gong show. And then if they like you, you could do 10 minutes. And then I don't know how I'm explaining how breaking in works. Anyway, the point is, is I was going to do it. And then a mate of mine said, no, no, no. You've got to try and back yourself to actually try and make it,
Starting point is 00:20:04 you know, to actually go there and do it normally. But, yeah, I mean, I was pathetic enough to be the guy who tried to do the gong show. Not only did I try and do the gong show, I tried to do the gong show in Manchester. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:14 How'd it go? Fucking awful. So you travel, so you travel, so you travel to Manchester? I travel to Manchester to stay with a mate, right? How long,
Starting point is 00:20:21 how long have you been in stand-up at this stage? I've been doing it long. I've probably been doing it about six months. Okay. And I sort of thought, you know what, I'm going to try this gong show. Everyone said,
Starting point is 00:20:30 I was told it was a good way to do the store. It is a good way. It is a good way. Yeah. But then I made the, I don't know why I even thought going to Manchester
Starting point is 00:20:39 as a massive cockney, like that's going to be the thing that really fucking, that you walked off the stage. They really, one thing you can say about a Manchester cockney, that's going to be the thing that really... Yeah. That you walked off on stage. They really... One thing you can say about a Manchester comedy audience, they love a cocky southerner.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah. They're famous for it. As soon as I open my mouth, bong! Genuinely, I'm not even exaggerating. Hello, ladies. Bong! I'm kidding. Yeah, but do you know, but that's good but that you can't you can't say that's
Starting point is 00:21:10 because you were shit at comedy though can you no no no of course but also i've taken two days off work so go i was at a place then right where everyone like i worked with and worked around there's no part of me that doesn't
Starting point is 00:21:26 think that was a massive entertainment for them thinking oh god like i can't wait because he seems he's gonna really fail ethically everything he does so on the like whatever day it was like a tuesday i'm like yeah off to man Manchester gonna smash out the comedy store Kong yeah boy like that here we go like that but I might be back on uh Friday I think um come back Friday tell between my legs and this or how long did it last oh yeah probably probably about 30 seconds that was an exaggeration yeah I think it was like 15 seconds and that was because I was having trouble getting the microphone out of the out of the holder and everyone was
Starting point is 00:22:08 kind of laughing a little bit yeah but I don't know that was that was the sort of gist of everything that whenever I did anything a lot of people now who will go oh yeah mate yeah I always knew you'd be a success I was like no you didn't no you didn't have I told you about when I did the glee for the first time Birmingham Glee didn't. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Have I told you about when I did the Glee for the first time, Birmingham Glee? No, no. What a fucking club to play, by the way. It's amazing. It's incredible, isn't it? It's amazing, right? So, they've got Glee, like Hollywood letters, like Glee across the back of the stage, right? So, really early on, somebody
Starting point is 00:22:43 saw me at a gig and said, we'd love to get you on, do 10 minutes at the Glee, try you out, right? So really early on, somebody saw me at a gig and said, we'd love to get you on, do 10 minutes at the Glee, try you out, right? So I was like, okay. So I was like, properly buzzing,
Starting point is 00:22:52 get the train to Birmingham, really nervous. You're on, you know, like shitting yourself, right? Because you're thinking they're going to look at me now and they're going to decide whether I can come back
Starting point is 00:23:01 and do weekends. Anyway, I don't know. I'm really over-explaining things today. It's starting to piss me off, actually. I quite enjoy it when you do it. I think you do it actually. So anyway, very nervous. Arrive at the club.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Michael Legg was comparing. I can't remember who else. Sean Percival was on. I can't remember who else. Anyway, I'm backstage. Nobody knows who I am. Not even the other comics because I've just started doing stand-up. So you do
Starting point is 00:23:26 10 minutes, and if they like you, they invite you back to do 20. That's how it works. Or they'll say, come back and do another couple of 10s, and then once we're confident, we'll get you on to do 20. So, Michael Legg brings me on, right? In the middle. I come out, and I do 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Goes great, right? I say goes great. Your perception of really like i have i say goes great your perception of what is a great gig at that time it felt like it was going great if i'd have had that gig now i probably would have been fucking heartbroken but felt great at the time right so i have i have the gig and then i'm so ecstatic at how it's gone when i go thank you very much i've been wrong i'm so just buzzing that I haven't fucked up that I can't remember which side of the stage the door is to go off, right?
Starting point is 00:24:12 So I'm looking where I think Michael's going to come from to sort of say, well done. And I can't see him because he's coming from behind me right so i'm looking the wrong way so then i just think oh i'm just going to walk off so i walk off the wrong side of the stage right and then i get there and i realize the audience are watching all of this right i get to the i get to the i get to the side of the stage there's obviously there's obviously no door right so and then i think fuck i can't go i don't want to go side of the stage. There's obviously no door, right? So, and then I think, fuck, I can't go.
Starting point is 00:24:47 I don't want to go back across the stage. So I basically try and navigate my way through the sort of backstage bit. I end up, right, sort of climbing through equipment and stuff and wiring. I don't know what the club must have thought was going on. I end up staring out at the audience from behind the fucking first E of Glee. Could they see you? Yeah. Of course they could.
Starting point is 00:25:13 It's just my little heads. I'm staring out at them. Michael Legge is just still on stage going, what the fuck is going on? Like, what are you doing? Is this part of your act? Right?
Starting point is 00:25:23 Like, it's quite deadpan what you were doing. this is a really weird move to close it a really weird turn to make this really surreal sort of like so then i have to come back out because there's no way for to come back up walk past michael leg on stage A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan.
Starting point is 00:26:08 Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Today, something is coming. Kong, Godzilla, they can feel it. Fight together or face extinction. Godzilla Kong, the new empire.
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Starting point is 00:26:40 with Questrade you can open an FHSA online no bank appointment needed it's easy and only takes a few minutes the sooner you get started the more time your down payment has to grow open an account today at questrade.com and go back out the door on the other side you know what genuinely because i i love you i adore you and i'm without being at all out that's something i feel in a way i'd be able to get away with on the basis that that is my act i am basically a massive doofus the thought of you and i can just see how stiff your body would have been having to walk back on stage
Starting point is 00:27:18 and michael leg is like i'd say michael's not one of the, like, I can't imagine him being like, oh, yeah, that's fine. That's fine, mate. On you go. He's not going to let go. Listen, Michael's a lovely bloke. Oh, he's a cracking game guy. He's not going to let that go without a comment. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Nor should he. He's not Mark Felgate. Nor should he. Mark Felgate would have held your hand and walked you back through it. I've been like about a year year and a half maybe two years later i'm back there doing a 20 right i'm there for the weekend and somebody tells the story of a twatty open spot who goes off the wrong side like not knowing it's me they're just they're just like throwing stories about,
Starting point is 00:28:05 about acts they've heard that have died on their ass. Do you know what I mean? And stuff like that. And then, and then they just sit there listening while they just go, oh, there's one open spot. Apparently just walks off the wrong side of the stage.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Did you admit to it? No, of course I didn't. Well, I go, do you know one of the worst ones? Do you remember when you were trying to get on that sweet junglers train? Oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:28:24 yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the one in Camden. I can't remember his name. Michael or something, I think, as well, actually. He was quite a camp, Mancunian camp comic. I can't remember his name for the life of me. But you know well, before a gig, my anxiety and my nerves are like,
Starting point is 00:28:40 I can't disguise them. They're like, they take over my whole. We haven't talked about this on here before so I'm pacing literally like
Starting point is 00:28:50 just like almost uncontrollable it's packed it's a Friday night who's the the mod comic that's terrible
Starting point is 00:28:58 his name's gone out Ian Moore Ian Moore I knew Ian through Michael Smiley Ian was being really sweet this other is just like,
Starting point is 00:29:05 you're going to be all right getting out there and all this sort of thing. And I'm like, I could barely even talk, right? So he feels really bad. He didn't do this with any malice, I don't think. He went out on stage and said, right, the next guy you've got, he's a great comic. He's very funny.
Starting point is 00:29:21 He's up and coming. But he's awfully, awfully nervous. Oh, my God. Terrified. Oh, my God. Right. great comic he's very funny he's up and coming uh but he's awfully awfully nervous terrified oh my god right so anything anyone any comic will tell you there's nothing dying on stage is fucking especially like it's biblically bad it's happened to us all it's terrible yeah right i'd i'd argue worse than dying on stage that feeling of dying on stage is doing 10 minutes of your comedy with people sympathy laughing oh my god like that if i felt like i was there on make a wish foundation look there they go now the next act is you know he's not gonna be with us for long
Starting point is 00:29:56 and one of the things he wanted to do is to 10 minutes to stand up and hear people laugh so on you come and and it genuinely felt like that and and everything I said it was like they weren't even listening to the jokes and you know once I'm on stage I'm pretty confident I can do my thing it's just the bit before that's just my match getting match ready honestly it was agonising and um
Starting point is 00:30:17 junglers got back to my agent and thought that the whole thing had been a ploy that I'd wanted to get the audience it was honestly one of I remember Rich Wilson was there that night as well shout out
Starting point is 00:30:30 the amazing Rich Wilson but Rich was like what happened there oh man half an hour this is just talking about stand up wowzers stand-up.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I'm sort of conscious now, the fact that we're for the first time recording the visuals on this, with the view to putting a clip out of this podcast. And I look like an app i haven't thought about what i look like at all you on the other hand obviously preemptively are looking absolutely delightful yeah but i can't put i can't put a video out of this hair like you genuinely look like don king you got like you got kind of blitzed yesterday a bit by those kids right okay so it's my first day
Starting point is 00:31:26 on King Gary yesterday can I just say right this is one thing I love about you right but because of
Starting point is 00:31:33 I know we're we're friends we're close pals but there's an element of like your public persona right that is
Starting point is 00:31:42 like kids it was so surreal yesterday with kids right it got the feeling their parents had gone you film me with Romesh tomorrow best thing to do right that is like kids it was so surreal yesterday with kids it got the feeling their parents had gone you're filming with Romesh tomorrow best thing to do
Starting point is 00:31:49 is get in there early with a couple of little jabs oh my god it was unbelievable it's like a roast yeah it was like it's like
Starting point is 00:31:56 I was at a primary school and decided to put on a roast of Romesh Ranganathan the whole time we're filming I'm getting in between every take, I'm getting absolutely rinsed by these kids. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:32:10 The kid who played your son really tickled me two or three times with some of the stuff he said. Well, I worked with him for the entire duration of last series, obviously, the episodes that I was included in. And he was very quiet, exceptional actor. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Very quiet. Didn't even really talk to me directly. Yesterday, I felt like Papa Doc at the end of 8 Mile. What a reference. But it's like you read your autobiography and he came out with pre-written bits. Fucking hell. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:46 It was insane, man. It absolutely destroyed me. It was weird as well. There was a young actor there as well who looked like one of her mate's girlfriends. It was a spitting image, I would say. And Tom delighted in pointing this out. Do you know, like, a lot of the time and and um a lot of
Starting point is 00:33:06 comics do this like i've done jokes about in the past about looking like an asian rolf harris or whatever right yeah and obviously i don't you know that's because i've got beard glasses and the hairs a bit but like i don't actually look like it no but so when you said when you pointed it out i thought it was going to be one of those where it's sort of you can sort of see it what i didn't expect was to be looking like what i thought was like a photo replica it was like genuine to the point of like if this the person we're talking our friend was in a bar with his girlfriend and this actor was in the same bar i i'd say that he there's a chance that he could get them confused i would say so much of a chance that when we put this out we're gonna have to
Starting point is 00:33:53 blank your description of the actor because we could be in trouble for this that would even be worse that would be like the worst thing of secretly throwing in your head that whether you were the person we were talking about it's a fucking this is a hard thing lookalike things you know when people say that what do you mean well because i think so right so there's a woman who works in our fish and chip shop right and my wife turned around and said don't you think she looks like your mum and i was wow by the way big shout by her yeah big shout but that's a big shout because my mum's no shrink shrinking violet right it was a big shout because at first i thought my wife was getting back to playground 90s like fucking no but also she doesn't know how you're gonna you know you could
Starting point is 00:34:51 look at that woman and you go sorry you think my mom looks like her yeah to be fair that could that could have been an argument couldn't it yeah it could have been but also i you know like you probably i picked my arguments wisely and i'm not i'm not gonna sort of a blow up for a week on the basis that i'm gonna stick up for my mum in that sort of valiant. Because my mum wouldn't do that to me. So I was like, I kind of see the similarity.
Starting point is 00:35:12 You've got a similar sort of nose, maybe the same sort of haircut. Anyway, my wife was then like, my parents came to stay with us. And my wife was like, really excited about going to this fish and chip shop because she thought, and by the way,
Starting point is 00:35:23 this was no insult, but there was a passing resemblance to say that my mum was upset would be an underestimate like generally like it would be i'd be underestimating that massively she my eye there was a point i thought my mum probably would never talk to us again and like it wasn't like genuinely like you know it was just a sort of, you know, my missus just turned around and was like, yeah, yeah, the woman who looks like your mum. And she was like, don't she? There she is.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And I pointed. And my mum went, she looks nothing like me. Nothing like me. And stood like with a face like thunder. And I was like, oh, do you want this large kind of chips or a piece? And she was like, yeah. and just walked out of the shop. Did you guys, as she picked up her food, did you take a little photo? Go, look, twins.
Starting point is 00:36:12 Just snap it. Honestly. Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? Very, in my opinion, by the way, incredibly naive move by you and Catherine there. Because if you are telling somebody you look like somebody,
Starting point is 00:36:28 you better be pointing at a fucking stone-cold stunner. Because there is absolutely no other way that that person is not going to be insulted by that. Because the way that you think you look, the way that I think I look, is so different to how people... Yeah, but I will say daily, get a message on
Starting point is 00:36:46 Instagram or Twitter or whatever fucking site of someone fucking has got a mate go oh yeah mate Darren looks like you
Starting point is 00:36:53 it's always the same it's always a sort of slightly overweight guy who's got a beard and a bald head and may or not may wear glasses somebody's really
Starting point is 00:37:00 some of them are going oh he's a passing resemblance some of them are like really like fucking really? Like, fucking really? But then the flip side of that coin is, you'll get someone going, yeah, my mates are all fucking wankers, all say I look like you.
Starting point is 00:37:13 And there's a part of me that goes, yeah, I probably wouldn't want that either. Can I just say, and by the way, I get this as well. I just want to say, just to the nation in general, if you can pass the word around, I know the nation don't listen to this podcast, your mate Prakash doesn't look like me, all right? I'm so done with receiving these messages. Just every Asian bloke with a beard and... Like, the other day, I did a Facebook Live video,
Starting point is 00:37:39 and then this woman messaged me off the back of it going, my friend looks so much like you. You've got to do a Facebook Live thing together. You've got to. I'm going to do a Facebook Live thing with someone who looks absolutely nothing like me. This is one of the worst ones I got sent, yeah. One of the worst ones I got sent. This one was, if you and Robert showed a kid, yeah. Which number one is impossible?
Starting point is 00:38:07 But it was this massive, really overweight, like Indian dude, with a bald head, glasses and a beard. So I was clearly like, you know, the Asian part is Romesh, and the massively overweight, big, massive part of it is me. And the beard and the glasses of both of us. Mate, I did a gig in Belfast, right, with Roger Monkhouse. And Roger Monkhouse, by the way, what a fucking comic. Anyway, we did the gig.
Starting point is 00:38:38 We're sitting in the bar next door afterwards. And this bloke, Roger Monkhouse is a a bald white bloke well i'm telling that because it's relevant to the story so roger and i sit and having a pint afterwards this asian man and this bald bloke come up to us right and they go they point at us and point at themselves and they go we've got to do a photo and And I'm like, I don't think we do. I really don't think we do. I don't think it's that massive a coincidence that there happens to be another Asian man and a bald white man in this bar.
Starting point is 00:39:14 I don't think this is the magical coincidence that you think it is, guys. Anyway, long story short, of course we took the fucking photo. What do people do with those photos i don't know i really don't know i always find it so strange it's such a weird thing of like that's the thing when we were kids you'd have a photo you got a photo of a celebrity right and that photo would be up forever and ever and ever right when i was a kid out of frank bruno i was obsessed with frank br Bruno yeah and I got a picture
Starting point is 00:39:45 of me and Frank Bruno and it was sort of my pride and joy and I just the said picture was up in a house and it
Starting point is 00:39:53 it got stolen the picture which I was mortified and it sort of what from your house yeah yeah from your house yes
Starting point is 00:40:00 was your house burgled and they took other stuff or they didn't just come specifically for that picture no not fucking Ocean's Eleven kind of shit Was your house burgled and they took other stuff? They didn't just come specifically for that picture? No. Not fucking Ocean's Eleven kind of shit.
Starting point is 00:40:10 There's a kid out the road. He's got a picture of him and Frank Bruno and I want it. Fucking coming down out of the ceiling with lasers and shit. There was a part of me that was always conscious of the fact that there was a guy going around that took the picture because i was a we've seen you know i've put pictures up i was a strange looking boy uh so there was that is an early version of a meme or saying it was going on the
Starting point is 00:40:39 tube or like you know when people now show their phones basically there's a guy with his back pocket of his levi 501s he put out a picture of me and frank bruno and show that about um but that was like my pride and joy because like pictures back then you get a picture i had a picture like him i had a picture with tony cotty uh they were like you're everything wouldn't they do you mean and and now i do think that we we take so many pictures and you have so many people getting pictures with you know celebrity whatever
Starting point is 00:41:06 like I don't think people look at them the same there's nothing like breaking open that binded like photo album and going back
Starting point is 00:41:13 have a little walk through like you know we have all these pictures on our phones on our devices but I don't think we ever really go back and look through them
Starting point is 00:41:20 you know no no you're absolutely right now I'm not I'm not meaning to shut your conversation down and look for him, you know? No. No, you're absolutely right. Now, I'm not meaning to shut your conversation down, but we are 45 minutes into this and we haven't done any emails yet. So do you want to do a couple? Yeah, by the way,
Starting point is 00:41:32 we got absolutely smashed about that last week. What do you mean? There was a couple of complaints I got. By the way, thank you everyone for getting back on the Instagram chat. I read your messages. There's a lot of them. I don't always get back to you.
Starting point is 00:41:43 It's been a busy couple of weeks. I try to. We had a little bit of a barley this week, me and Romesh, actually. As I said, I think the last two weeks has been some incredible messages from people. And Romesh said he's not really getting any. So I think I probably respond a little bit more
Starting point is 00:41:58 than your old friend. I actually, in all fairness, I do have in my Instagram bio, I don't read DMs. Right, okay. Well, I think people obviously send you the emails, and you are in charge of, he almost got a little bit prissy. By the way, before Tom carries on, I just want to,
Starting point is 00:42:19 because this needs to be done sometimes when you do this. Everything Tom's about to say is an exaggeration, an em embellishment or possibly a complete falsehood about what you know by the way let's do that qualifier now and maybe we need to do it at the start of every one of these where what tom is saying about me may or may not be true well okay let me just i'll break it down slow for you babe you could be a little bit prissy at times. Okay. Right? I said to you,
Starting point is 00:42:48 wow, man, feedback's been incredible this week. Had a little wonder through the DMs and lovely feedback. That's the kind of thing I, that's the kind of phrasing I have to listen to in a serious conversation. You then turn around to me.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Like I'm talking to a fucking 2021's Influencer of the Year. Go on. You then turn around to me and you're like to a fucking 2021's influencer of the year go on you didn't turn around to me and you're like oh great good one uh i've not had any feedback at all and i'm like oh okay man well i think maybe people just find me easier to talk to at times and you're like what's that supposed to mean i'm doing all the fucking clerical stuff over here going for all the bloody emails and and trying to sort all that stuff over here going for all the bloody emails and trying to sort all that stuff out i'm doing all that bloody gubbins do you know do you know do you know do you know
Starting point is 00:43:29 what's you know what's really fucking underhand about what tom's doing let me tell you what's so super prickish about what he's doing is he is he is reporting the conversation to you as it happened it was in a series of joke messages between us where we were both in character, right, doing these voicemails back to each other.
Starting point is 00:43:51 And now he's taking that in a sort of Daily Express style reporting as serious information bullshit move. Right? You know what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:44:06 Right. All I'm saying is show Rob some love he needs it at times you don't need to do that you don't need to do that right sweet emails this week bro sweet emails
Starting point is 00:44:14 yeah we've got some emails so this is an email from it's an email to both of us right but it only really requires advice from you I think okay here we go
Starting point is 00:44:23 afternoon both i appreciate the title doesn't make i don't know what the title is i didn't put it in there i've cut it out but anyway i appreciate the title doesn't make complete sense as you're a podcast not a movie however seems a more appropriate title for the why am i reading about the title i don't even know what the title is anyway i'm a few weeks behind on the pod i was going to attach a photo of a red squirrel in response to the soft soul episode and something that represents rom's better side which i love so guys guys by the way keep those coming in no do not absolutely do not because i want to say it adds about 30 to 40 minutes onto my time of trying to sort emails out for this so genuinely genuinely do not do it anymore, please.
Starting point is 00:45:15 Anyway, I was going to attach a photo of a red squirrel in response to the Soft Soul episode and something that represents Rob's better side, which I love seeing. It's better than him acting like an obnoxious wanker, which is how I perceived him prior to the podcast, i apologize well yeah i know which which i apologize is he's certainly not and i now like to class myself as a fan so well done to you sir um i don't think what i don't think i need congratulations for you stopping thinking i'm an arsehole but okay uh as i've gone to the effort of composing in here by the way can i just say just one thing
Starting point is 00:45:44 uh and this is to anyone who thinks Romesh is a wanker and an arsehole, I don't want to say this seriously, do you really think your guy Big TD is going to be friends with a wanker and an arsehole if I validate you guys What an incredible way of pretending you were going to back me up and it becomes another sort of compliment
Starting point is 00:46:00 to yourself. As I've gone to the effort of composing, and by the way can I just say, I absolutely don't mind this, this is a guy that thought i was a wanker and now doesn't i have not got any problem with you mate i actually think this is a fair enough thing because you know you watch people on tv or you see something you do you do form an opinion of them so you know fair play um so so i am actually grateful to you for saying that so anyway this is the bit that we need to sort of respond to as i've gone to the effort of composing an email and an apology, I may as well ask for some advice,
Starting point is 00:46:29 given that Tom is the king of good advice and also incredibly knowledgeable about mostly everything. Well, thank you. Fuck me. Thank you so much. I thought me being an arsehole was the biggest inaccuracy in this email, but it's only number two so far. I'm a bit fed up in my job.
Starting point is 00:46:43 Feels like I've plenty more to give than I'm currently able to. We're getting a lot of career advice. I feel like I've got plenty more to give than I'm currently able to. Progression seems to have stopped and changes within the business, but it pays a good wage to keep the family happy and able to live a nice life. Do you still, do you sit still and be content or take a risk and push myself elsewhere
Starting point is 00:47:03 and hope it works. Anyway, I love the pods keep me smiling during a period of lockdown blues apologies again for thinking you're a bell-end rom i feel bad for not giving your content a go earlier stay classy chin uh let me just say man chin you've answered your own question bro you've answered your own question bro okay it doesn't require it doesn't need you to repeat yourself. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor?
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Starting point is 00:48:17 Echo, thanks to its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. No, but you're saying it like some sort of Kung Fu master's fucking delivered some profound thing. Because it is profound, my friend. What I'm saying to you saying to chin is you have shown
Starting point is 00:49:05 yourself to be the kind of person who can go i was wrong i didn't get it right i thought what i was saying was or how i felt was the be all and end all and actually focus can change and so can opinion so what i'll say to chin is this if you've got a good bit of squirrelly coming in you've got good money coming in that's great you're looking after your family that's amazing what i'll say to you chin is this if you've got a good bit of squiller coming in you've got good money coming in that's great you're looking after your family that's amazing what i'd say to you is if you want to look at expanding your life is don't necessarily just do a big massive life change and go i'm gonna go and do this thing i'm gonna give up all that slowly slowly is the key both me and my mission we started off doing stand-up works proper jobs so whether it's that you want to do or maybe you want to be a football manager jim i don't know
Starting point is 00:49:50 you've not really said about your dreams and ambitions what i'm going to tell you now bro is you can obtain any of those dreams but make sure you are doing it from a place where you keep them secure and you keep in sound but also you're doing something for you. That's the most important thing. And let me just say, Jim, and I don't say this very often, I believe in you, bro. I genuinely believe you can do whatever you want to do because I'm trying to be serious here,
Starting point is 00:50:18 but all I can see is Robert's face next to me. You can do whatever you want to do, bro, because I believe in you and you got to believe in yourself. There's do whatever you want to do, bro. Because I believe in you. And you've got to believe in yourself. There's a horse running tomorrow, Chin. And it's called Chin. Back yourself to win, Chin.
Starting point is 00:50:34 So is that analogy a horse betting on itself to win a race? Yeah. Can I ask you a question? This is not me trying to be horrible. Do you genuinely believe in Chin? Yeah, I do. Do you know why? Based is not me trying to be horrible. Do you genuinely believe in Chen that he can do it? Yeah, I do. Do you know why?
Starting point is 00:50:46 Based on what? Because he opens it up by saying, I think Romesh is a wanker, I think he's an arsehole, and I was wrong. And he admits to that. He's basically saying, look, I can make mistakes,
Starting point is 00:51:01 but I can learn from those mistakes and I can move forward as a human being so he's got a good job he's got a family he's caring enough to know he's putting his family first and thinking like i will need to look after these but i also want a little bit more for myself so i believe that chin will turn around and go you know i'm going to try this thing and if this thing doesn't work i could always i've always i've kept that going on the back burner. I've kept that going as well. But Chin will be able to, I think, know
Starting point is 00:51:30 if things are going to work or not work very quickly. So yeah. Mate, and I don't think I've done this before. Are you applauding your own answer? No, I'm applauding Chin. Okay. Can I just say, Chin, bizarrely, I sort of started out on the offensive in my question to Tom,
Starting point is 00:51:48 but I actually think he's made a lot of sense there. I actually think that advice is excellent. I think how he's analysed you is great. I think what he's taken from your email shows a lot of insight. And I would say there's not very much for me to add to what Tom said. He's absolutely smashed it at an answer. I think the only thing to add to that is I guess from my point of view is you know whatever you do
Starting point is 00:52:07 do you you know wow which is my favorite thing to say to anyone so it's your favorite thing to say to everyone I think yeah but what I like is you've now you've you know what through teaching others and giving others advice I didn't realize I was
Starting point is 00:52:24 teaching my best bud all the time at the same time i assume your best bud is someone that's listening because you certainly haven't taught me shit no you man wow that's the biggest honor that you've learned something oh god you really are fucking it's it's like you're drunk on your own fucking kool-aid so you've taken the kool-, you've dried it out into crystals, and you fucking put it in a little glass bong. Fucking spark that bad boy up. You see,
Starting point is 00:52:53 you see people say, has he drunk the Kool-Aid? No, actually, Tom, he smoked it, mate. He's blazed it. But I think gin's helped, though. Another guy, another one of the pack helped out.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Tom, help there another another guy another another one of the pack helped out tom we have got five minutes of our allocated hours recording time do you want to do another email let's do another one bro okay um hey lads so driving home from work this evening i was listening to episode 10 with tom detailing the full unload in the downstairs loo of his new ex-girlfriend now ex-girlfriend sorry i was smiling all the way through but the light bulb part came just as i stopped at a red light to which i burst out laughing hysterically unknown to me there was a lady jogging towards me on the path she saw me laughing thinking i was laughing at her and proceeded to give me the middle finger and cursed non-stop at me while the lights were red naturally this made me laugh more and as the lights changed and i drove on i realized she was a customer of mine i own a cafe in town i can kiss that custom goodbye but who cares it was worth it my wife watches rom-coms to lift her spirits and make her smile
Starting point is 00:53:53 in this shit time i've realized i listen to you lads for the same reason she watches rom-coms and i listen to rom-toms keep it going wow wow now first. Now, first of all, thank you very much for your email, Philip. What I would say... Philip, also let me just say, by the way,
Starting point is 00:54:12 that's my grandfather's name. Oh, that was my grandfather's name. It's a great name. So what does he go by now? Well, he's dead now. Okay,
Starting point is 00:54:19 but his name still, he didn't change his name when he departed, did you? No, I suppose. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:24 So thank you for carrying on my grandfather's name and his legacy. Oh, my God. So what I would say, Philip raises an interesting point, all right, because you and I have received competing feedback about one aspect of our podcast, and that is talking about shit yeah now i've been looking
Starting point is 00:54:47 through the emails and there've been a number of people have emailed us saying they think it's hilarious when we start talking about shit um they wish they heard about it more on podcasts keep doing it it's really funny i would say almost an equal number we've had emails from people saying can you please stop talking about shit i have to go i have to log on to not log on so i have to start listening to another podcast or i just stop or try and fast forward surely there's something better to talk so it's it's very divisive what are you saying it's half and half basically i don't know if it's exactly half and half do you mean it's sort of i don't know exactly where the turd breaks off,
Starting point is 00:55:25 but, uh, I would say it's divisive. I think that, and I wasn't, I wasn't in for this, but I think what we need to do is probably, we do need to do like a scat special,
Starting point is 00:55:36 a full on poo special. And that will be worn for anyone who's listening to this. And it, and it won't be getting in the way of this, the normal episode or the bonus. We'll just do full on. It's going to the bonus. It's going to be over and above the bonus. Yeah, but it will be just a scat special. And then what we'll do
Starting point is 00:55:52 that will be the clear out of all clear outs. That'll get rid of all of our stories. There's a lot of pressure for us to think of that much. We will literally have to have a turnout with a podcast all about turnouts. But no more pre-mentions for those.
Starting point is 00:56:08 And look, may I say that if you found that kind of stuff off-putting, I do apologise. This is very much just me and mum breaking bread together as brothers and sometimes we just slip into that. And in real life we i'd say we spent we spent what 12 hours yesterday together and we did yeah i'd say at least 30 percent of that was us talking about poo with different people it's a massive massive exaggeration but yeah okay um but also i might say might say as well by the way of um the woman who was jogging
Starting point is 00:56:41 giving you the middle finger and shouting at you and like I kind of get it in a way but also if you know her and she's your customer and she'd know that you're from what it sounds like a good guy Phil
Starting point is 00:56:53 that seems like a massive she's the one who's out of order Phil mate hard hard hard disagree on that Tom I've got to say
Starting point is 00:57:01 really yeah so she knows Phil she knows Phil she goes to his cafe we don't know we don yeah. So she knows Phil? She knows Phil? She goes to his cafe? We don't know that she knows Phil. Is this email from the woman? He said that he said that I've lost a customer. No, no.
Starting point is 00:57:11 He doesn't know that. He said, no, he said, right, go back. Okay, let's read it again. Because I'll argue until I'm blue in the face and this can carry on to the bonus episode. I know you will. You do it regardless of what level of correctness you're speaking from okay so um she saw me laughing thinking i was laughing at her and proceeded to stop to give me the middle finger and curse non-stop at me
Starting point is 00:57:32 while the lights were red naturally this made me laugh more and as the lights changed and i drove on i realized she was a customer of mine i own a cafe in the town i can kiss that custom goodbye but who cares it was worth it she was a customer of mine a customer a coffee shop in a small provincial town okay right okay she will know philip she's been in there he's like oh guarantee in that cafe this lady's walked in and go oh can i have an oat milk latte please and philip just said oh hi thank you yeah there we go have a lovely day right so she knows philip she knows that he's a good guy and he runs a very successful. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Okay. Right. What I'm going to say to you is this. You are assuming that. Okay. That is assumption. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:58:14 She's a customer. She goes in. She's been in more than once. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure. But you don't definitely know that in that instant, she recognized him.
Starting point is 00:58:23 You're assuming that. We know. Let's look at the facts of the email. The facts of the email are as follows. definitely know that in that instant she recognized him you're assuming that we know let's look at the facts of the email the facts of the email as follows she stuck a middle finger up at him cursing non-stop and he recognized her yeah but she's right i'm sorry mate i'm sorry about in here i really am the fact of the is, if she sees his face laughing, she's going to go, oh, that's the guy from the coffee shop. How would she see his face laughing? How do you know that for definite?
Starting point is 00:58:51 What I'm saying to you is, everything you're saying, you're assuming. You don't know that for a fact. But you're also, like, look. What am I assuming? No, no, no. You're about to say,
Starting point is 00:59:00 what am I assuming? You're assuming that she didn't see his face. No, I'm not. I'm saying we don't know. Right. Phil, mate, I've never asked anyone to do this before.
Starting point is 00:59:09 And I really, really hope you can. Can you email back in and like basically try and work out a way of sort of either getting hold of the woman or just to see what happened here, mate? Because it's not that remarkable that this is the first time you've asked somebody to let us know whether a cafe customer recognizes him or not. It's not that amazing that this is the first time you've asked somebody to let us know whether a cafe customer recognises him or not. It's not that amazing that this is the first time you've said it.
Starting point is 00:59:29 Yeah, but also, look, you've got to admit, you have to admit, and I'm going to beg you to do this for me, right? I urge you to admit that there's a chance, probably I'd say 75% to 80% chance. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's a chance. I will accept there's a chance. What we say chance-wise. You've got no idea of the percentage you've got zero you've got no idea of the percentage
Starting point is 00:59:50 right so and what i would say to you is by the way i'm about to ashame i'm about to shame you here okay yeah all right because you're gonna feel you are gonna when i tell you the reason i disagree with you yeah you're gonna feel a little bit silly. I'm going to tell you this now. Okay. Okay. Now, the reason I feel a bit sorry for this woman. I don't not feel sorry for her, by the way. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 01:00:12 You said... Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You said she's out of order
Starting point is 01:00:17 is what you said. She's out of order because she knows who Phil is. I don't think... No, but you don't know. You're assuming that. You're assuming that, Tom.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Right? Listen to me. Right? You and I both know the issues're assuming that. You're assuming that, Tom, right? Listen to me, right? You and I both know the issues of body image, right? Yeah. This woman, so you don't know the circumstances of this woman went for a jog, right? She's going for a jog for what? Self-improvement.
Starting point is 01:00:35 She's trying to get healthy. If you go out publicly for a jog, you are putting yourself out there, right? Oh, wait, I commend anyone who's doing it. I absolutely commend anyone who's doing it. When commend anyone who's doing it when you do that you are carrying a certain amount certainly if you're of the ilk of person that tom davis and i think i'm speaking for both of us yeah yeah you are carrying with you some mental baggage right you're worried about people looking at you worried about the pace you're going at you're worried about how your body's moving as you're doing it you're worried about if the outfit fits you if you then glance across a car and see somebody
Starting point is 01:01:09 laughing their heads off i completely understand if you lose your shit you you are totally embarrassed because you've been caught doing a thing that you're nervous about and then somebody's laughing i totally understand number one let me just say oh i completely empathize with that number one if i and i have seen people laugh and i've been running because it looks ridiculous but i certainly wouldn't be swearing and shouting and giving like gives like giving people like i feel mortified i stop running i break into a fucking gentle walk and i don't leave my house and fucking go running for like another fucking six months. I completely empathize with that side of things.
Starting point is 01:01:49 But what I'm saying to you, right? What I'm saying to you, he laughs, she puts her finger up and then stares at him and shouts him. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:57 Are you saying in all of that time that that happens, she doesn't clock that it's the guy that she goes in every day to buy the coffee from? First of all, again, he hasn't said that she goes in every day to buy the coffee from. Tom, first of all, again, he hasn't said that she goes in every day. You've added that. This is what I'm talking about now.
Starting point is 01:02:11 You've got to deal with the information that we've actually been given in the email, right? She's a customer of his. That's all we know, right? We don't know how often she's gone in. She could have gone in three times before, but she's got a shock of pink hair that means that he remembered her, right? But then you're speculating. Yeah, of course I am, but I'm not saying that's definitely the case.
Starting point is 01:02:30 Right, I'll tell you what. You're going, she's out of order because she definitely recognised him. Of course. Of course she could recognise her. She's got pink hair. No, I didn't say that she had pink hair. You used the word shock of pink hair. i said she i'm hypothesizing you're saying she definitely
Starting point is 01:02:49 recognized him i'm i'm saying she she was staring at him with a finger up and shouting right she must have clocked his face well that's what again she must have well you're saying that must have happened when i said the shock of being there, she might have done. All right? Okay. Okay. Look, I think the only way we can do this... Can we get... We need to get a verdict.
Starting point is 01:03:10 We 100% need to get a verdict. Yeah, I agree. I agree. We haven't had one of these in a while. WolfandOurPod at gmail.com. Let us know what you think about this because Tom and I, it's the most heated we've been in a while.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Yeah, it's very heated. And I will say this, I do feel for the woman. This is not about me backtracking. No, no, no. Do you want to stick on a little warning beep because you're reversing now? No, I'm saying my argument is
Starting point is 01:03:40 she would have noticed Philip and seen Philip from the cat. And also, Philip, mate, if you could, please, Phil, get back in touch and say how regular this woman used to come into your cafe. Yeah, we need more information, Philip, really. To be honest with you, this is your fault this has happened.
Starting point is 01:03:55 In all truth. Well, that email, as fun as it was, has taken us well over our allotted record, Tom. Tom, could you do us the honour of taking us out, please? Yeah, hit it. Listen, the truth of the matter is, it's okay to fire up. As long as it's done in good faith.
Starting point is 01:04:18 Remember, the ropes that we live upon and we hold together are only as strong as we've made them. But I want to speculate on other things. Think about what you want when you go and meet your maker. Think about have you done enough? Have you been there enough? And how much do you back yourself to be an incredible human being? It's not about how swishy you look in a new suit or how much you have in the bank or what car you drive maybe you've got a helicopter it's about have you pushed yourself to the limits always remember look in the mirror and think i'm not always going to be here how do i want to be remembered peace and love people do you uh now uh thank you very much for that tom i would give you a qualitative assessment but i'm i was slightly reeling throughout that because i
Starting point is 01:05:11 realized i gave the wrong email address uh i know i can see you do that uh it's it's it i said wolf and our pod it's not wolf and our pod it's wolf our pod at gmail.com yeah okay and i think all you guys know out there, and I'm going to finish on this, Romesh is a little bit heated, so let's get those pictures in. Do not, please, genuinely, in all seriousness,
Starting point is 01:05:34 in all seriousness, it does add time to my day, so please, genuinely, do not send any more of those pictures, please.

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