Wolf and Owl - Episode 17

Episode Date: March 24, 2021

We’re talking… battle raps, scaffolding and stand-up, boring anecdotes, awful auditions, a potential John the Baptist role and some great film trilogies. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit Knorr.com to learn more. Sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings,

red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf of Now podcast. Tom Davison, Robert Schragner, Nathan Inside the Rain. All the people up inside. A little bit of a history lesson for you today. I don't know how many episodes we're in, but let me tell you this now. This next episode is going to be a banger. Make some noise for the Wolf Tom Davison.

Wolf time. And make some more noise for the Owl Robert Schrag and Nathan inside the place. This is the Wolf and Owl podcast. This one. For the bit of bad boy. For the bit of bad boy. Oh, rewind. Rewind.

Once again. Once again. Tell your friend. Wolf and Owl. Inside the rain. Okay. Wow. You were kind of, that was a weird energy because you were like, at one point you seem

so sexy and then you slipped into this sort of, like, quite sort of thirstiness. Yeah, yeah. And also, the other thing, I kept painting myself into a corner with, like, the starts of lines that I hadn't thought of the finish of. Is that how MCing works?

Because I've never MCed, and I know you've done a bit of that kind of stuff. Is that how it works? Do you think of the line coming when you're freestyling, or do you have it all written, or how does it work? I think it depends on how different people do it. But I know most freestyle MCs will have a stock of time-buying phrases that they throw into if they're struggling for a rhyme

and they want to think of something else, they want to buy themselves some time, they'll into to like if they if they're struggling for a rhyme and they want to think of something else they want to buy themselves some time they'll say something like and it's like this and what you know like they'll sort of like just do a little bit of a delaying tactic or whatever but um i mean listen my i did do some rap battling and did you actually did you actually got off and did rap like there's this thing called the jump off no it's before the jump off actually it's called battle scars and um they advertise in hip-hop connection and they said if you if you want to be an mc and if you can and you know you think you can freestyle you can battle rap then send in a tape or recording and they're like it was like x factor do you know what i mean battle rappers so i sent in the tape and i made it through to the to the competition but i was shit man like i hadn't you know i'd written some lyrics but i couldn't freestyle really and and you know people that freestyle and do those battles

they like practice and i just didn't i i just had a few rhymes that i'd written i've done a couple of like bullshit verses and then i just turned up and sort of hoped for the best. Do you practice against yourself, so to speak? Like, so you'd be at home. You know, it's like sparring. You might like, you might sit in your room and like start rapping about the stuff you're seeing around you. Do you know what I mean?

Or, you know, you might on a walk, just start rapping about, you know, trying to freestyle about everything you're sitting, you know, like put sharpening those skills in the same way that you do with comedy, think you know like just sort of i made i made it i made it sound like i sit there uh cracking jokes and stuff but you know like you do it you do it in you do it in life don't you i can assure you that my in my within my house my wife would know i'm lying if i was like oh i'm constantly walking around joking about things I'm walking around whinging and complaining about things which I guess is the same

but I know but I tell you what I genuinely thought like what I really find man it's like when I'm doing like misadventures and I any like panel shows or anything like that if I'm doing stand-up at the same time or even like doing it doing podcasts or whatever doing anything where you've got to like just riff and stuff. I just think it makes you sharper. In the same way that when I was a maths teacher in September, after we'd had the summer, my fucking mental riff and tip was shit. Like, you know, kids would ask me, what's this?

And I'd go, why don't you work it out, mate? Because I didn't know. Because like it would take you a while to warm up. Did you not get any pleasure out of doing sums and stuff? Pleasure? No, no, because you just didn't enjoy it at all. I'll tell you something. My dad was so quick with mental arithmetic and so good at maths,

all my recollection of doing mental arithmetic is just the look on his face of sheer fucking disgust at the amount of time it has taken me to make calculations, right? And then the idea that I would go on to become a maths teacher was, you know, he had these conflicting emotions of being proud that his son was going off to be a teacher, but also being deeply worried

about what that meant for maths education as a thing that I was teaching. It's pesado, isn't it? Because you can't practice. Like, any job that I had, like, when I was scaffolding, I was an awful what they call a fixer. I was a relative of the OK. I was a pretty decent labourer. You know, I'm not going to sort of, like,

I was kept around for a lot of the time because I was great. I had a great banter and I'd have a laugh. And I was quite lazy. But I remember people saying to me, look, there's no way you're going to get any better at fixing unless you practice, right? There's nowhere, unless you've actually got the fucking tools to practice, you've got to practice on site.

And then everything about working on site is speed. If you're on price or whatever, no one's got the time to teach you so you literally sink or swim so within the first week if you can't fucking put scaffolding up quick you're just destined to be a laborer forever oh god but that but that's the thing with stand-up though man i always envy those it's always it's almost a cliche it's been said so much but music as a band you could practice and practice and practice you do that at home stand up you can only practice in front of an audience you got do you know what i mean and so it's funny like your most difficult gigs as a stand-up are when you start because

you're the shit you haven't got any tools you ain't got any fucking you haven't got any skill set at all and the audience are the least engaged with seeing comedy i mean it's like when you first started right i mean yeah i don't know i'm gonna throw myself under my foot when i first started stand up way back when uh i would practice on my own in my flat at the time um and i just practiced doing like verbatim the stand up that i was thought i was gonna do on stage that night. I was like, right,

this is the act. This is a five minutes or whatever I've written. This is like, this is how it's going to go. So I'm sort of essentially reading it out. Uh, yeah. And whenever I get on stage,

it would just massively change. It would never go to something like that. I'd read it out, but I used to, and even my whole career now is, but I mean, I've worked with you so much, so much of my career has not ever been based around being confined to script or but confined by yeah you know this this

is what it is and this is what you've got to do and and take nothing away from people who work like that but when i first started that's how i thought you did it and like and i did did you ever try and try stuff out at school with people did you ever sort of do that thing of going right i'm gonna try a little bit of stuff here, sort of throw it into the mix of a conversation with other teachers? Yeah, I would. I remember, like, even when I was a kid,

I was, I didn't realise I was doing it at the time, but I was working up material. I was, like, trying to, but I think everyone does that. They tell an anecdote. You tell a story. I mean, you feel like that, you know, people often work like

stand-ups when like they're just having conversations with that story worked i'm going to tell that again and the next time they tell that they like shot they they add a bit here and take a bit away there and then you just see you can tell when you see somebody it's normally a bloke telling a story that their long-suffering partner has had to hear 112 different fucking versions of. Do you know what I mean? As soon as this loud prick you've shackled yourself to finds a new audience for his story, he wheels it out. I have that thing where I just really now go back. When I first started out and I thought,

oh, I'm going to try this story out. And what I'll do is I'll try it out at lunchtime at work with a load of fucking filters and scaffolders. And you get, honestly, about three lines into it and some will go, oh, fucking hell. This, mate, you need to up the game, mate. If this is going to be a joke for fucking on stage, you're done.

And you know that. How I ever got on stage is just my confidence was wrecked. I never got to the end of any stories because people would just interrupt or go oh yeah i broke that you know and you're like oh mate this is you'd have to become so strong within yourself and so loud that's the only way i've ever get into a yeah but but i i think i honestly think people that know you you can't try stand up on it man it's like you know I would write bits I realised very early on that Lisa

is like the worst fucking radar for first of all because that woman does not understand comedy she's a funny woman but like she doesn't watch comedy you know she's not a good radar for that but the other thing is you know she knows me

too well do you know what I mean I've said this before I think I'll try a bit out on her and she'll go to me you know, she's not a good radar for that. But the other thing is, you know, she knows me too well. Do you know what I mean? So like, like I've said this before, I think I'll try a bit out on her and she'll go to me. I'm sure the people who like you would like that. Well, the people that like your stuff would get that. But I'll go to you.

Basically what you're saying is you think that shit. Yeah. Oh, the worst one is if you're telling a story when they were there and then they go, I didn't happen like this. It happened like that. And you're like, yeah, no, no, but I've added this bit because it's funny or i've you know slightly changed this and i've added this this bit from another story because it all works quite well yeah but that's not how it happened and i'm like you know how it happened was relatively boring do you ever have a thing with like there are some people that just

cannot tell a story and like some of them are mates of mine right and you know like these people that fucking include details that absolutely don't need including they get that they'll often tell you the funniest part of the story right you know somebody somebody says it's funny have i told you have i ever told you the bit where i thought i ended up shaping my arsehole by mistake when I went to the doctors. No, you haven't. Okay, right. So, a couple of months ago,

I was starting to feel, okay, well, I know where this is going. I know the end, mate. I know the punchline. I can guarantee the punchline is you shaved your arsehole

when you went to the doctor and the doctor said, why have you shaved your arsehole? You know, when you get someone someone when they're telling you a story they add all of the the details of it so a couple of years ago

I was doing a show with Jamie a lot of pressure on this anecdote yeah Jamie Winston who's a friend of mine who's a brilliant actress we were a great company so we're doing a show together and's brilliant actress um we're great company so we're doing this um

show together right and during the time when we're filming glastonbury's also on so jamie's going to glastonbury with some friends right there's this facilities guy i can't remember his name but it was norman or derrick or something anyway he basically he's like oh yeah i'm gonna be at glastonbury as well um uh yeah so looking forward to it. It's going to be great. So he went to Glastonbury, she went to Glastonbury. On the Tuesday, they all came back and we're back at filming. And he sort of came walking past.

I was like, I'm all in. I was at Glastonbury. He said, no, no, it was great. Yeah, no, no, obviously, yeah, a lot of fun. Yeah, actually, I saw Jamie, actually. I was just walking through the campsite where, you know, she had her trailer parked and she was renting one of the trailers that we hired out.

And she popped her head out, actually, of the door. And she said, oh, excuse me, excuse me. I think the light's gone in my bathroom in the trailer. So I said, okay, do you mind if I come in and check it, if I have a look and check the thing? She said, no, no, okay do you mind if i come in and check it if i have a look and check the thing he said no no of course just come in come and have a look and uh see yeah see where it is so i go into the trailer and um first obviously the first thing i do is i try the light switch uh i've done it once or twice just to make sure the light's not working uh and the light

doesn't come on so straight away i know that I said this is we've got it could be a fuse or it could be the light bulbs gone um give me give me a couple of minutes I'm just going to go back to the store cupboard I'm going to get a light bulb I'm going to come back and uh yeah and I'll check the light bulb so I she said that's great fine I left I went to the store cupboard um I looked around lucky enough we actually had the light bulb that was required uh and uh yeah i went back i knocked on the door she answered uh i said oh it's me i just she said i remember you i said oh great yeah yeah went into the bathroom made sure the light switch was still switched off put the light bulb in switched it on and the light worked i said well thank god it wasn't the fuse and she said yeah yeah would that have taken longer i said well

obviously yeah we'd have had to change the fuses instead of the light bulb I said um yeah that's all if there's any other problems just give me a shout and she said no no no worry and I didn't see her first at the festival and I was like oh right yeah okay um yeah brilliant nice one um so yeah it's an interesting it's an interesting one. As I was listening to that story, I was thinking, that is a boring story. It's also deliberately boring. But you are also telling a very boring story in full on the podcast. Yeah, no, no, no. I was sort of trying to figure out how that works.

But my favourite thing is, right, about 20 minutes later, do you know Dan Taylor? Yeah. The actor. He's sitting with Dan Taylor telling exactly the story, verbatim, word for word. Oh, my God. And then he went, and Dan Taylor went, oh, right, yeah. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. exactly the story, verbatim, word for word. Oh, my God. And then he went, and Dan Taylor went,

oh, right, yeah, oh, cool, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he went, yeah, that's what Tom said, Tom Davis, I told the story to him. And he was like, he had stories about loads of things, but they were always just really, really, he had one about the film, remember Fury with Brad Pitt? Do I? And I remember he had a jumper that said Fury on it

with a picture of Brad Pitt and stuff. I said, oh, my God, you worked on Fury. What was it like? Before you carry on, before you carry on, is this before or after this Jamie Winston thing? It's after, about a week after. Okay, so this is all on you now

because you know what he's like. Yeah. And you've gone up and asked the question. So everything you're about to say. You know me well enough that I like to chat to people. Yes, regardless of... But now I've done the boring thing. If I've told you the punchline, I talked over you.

So any really inquisitive listeners are going, I know what happens now. Yeah, go, what happens? What did he say? So I said, oh, you worked on Fury. What was it like? And he said, muddy. He had more to say about the Jamie Winston light bulb story than working on Fury for six months, which I find interesting as a person.

Now, what you've done is very nice there because actually what happened is I fucked that story for you. No, yeah, but this is something that obviously has been brought up before. And some people are actually messaging me calling into in is it into in in rom tucked in i don't know it's like they put okay okay yeah what i'm gonna say to you is if you're gonna make up a nickname for me give it a little bit of fucking thought before you come i didn't know we were gonna be talking about interrupting gate here today i think it it was inter... I can't remember. Someone mentioned it.

Yeah, I'm bad at interrupting. I've got a problem. In real life, I am a terrible interrupter, by the way. I'm an awful interrupter. But I also know that I sort of try and hold back a little bit. In real life, you're not an interrupter. Do you know what the truth is?

It's part of the reason i interrupt on this podcast is because um when you're telling a story i get genuinely interested in a detail that i think you might not come back to later yeah but that's kind of where it comes from i do that last week we did a whole thing where we were about to start talking about one thing we never even got back to it yeah which we do quite a lot in fact we got we got a note we got a note from uh our editor james torrent the fantastic james torrence so we're occasionally goes i took this out because it was a fourth level of divergence from what you were talking about originally um but you're actually quite i i we obviously we're lucky enough to see each other at the moment which i feel very blessed for on friday

it was lovely watching you um really in your pump you it was quite nice watching you sort of like work a room oh here we go no i watched you sort of like you know it was there was quite a lot of sweet sweet energy what are you talking about what are you talking about you had these two essays extras that you were working with. It was nice watching you bond with these two guys throughout the day. So what, basically, what Tom's talking about

is the fact that I did three episodes of the first series of King Gary and now I'm in more of them. And Tom said to me, oh, you know, really like, really enjoyed what you did.

So, you know, really looking forward to having your second series. To give you an idea, all of my Friday was spent with essays. I'm starting to feel like it's a prank. Where you and James DeFron, the director, are just going, he's not realised yet, is he? He's not realised that he's in the background of all of this.

I thought as well. Can we talk about background acting for just a second? Yeah, that's an interesting thing to talk about. Because I generally, I think if you get a good background, it's very difficult to do. Yeah. So we had the scene. I don't want to give any spoilers.

But we had a scene where Tom is at front and centre, as he is for every fucking scene of this show and I'm sort of in the background. So what you have to do, I'm with two other people, right? And we're sort of just having a bit of a chat, basically is the best way to describe it. I'm sort of nervous about giving anything away

about what's happening in this scene. So like, and we're having a bit of a raucous chat while Tom's getting on with, you know, being the star of the show as he is in every scene of the sitcom. And you've basically got to silently sort of have a conversation and do that quite naturally. And it's actually quite hard to do.

It's quite hard to do for any amount of time. I reckon 30 seconds, everybody could probably do that, I reckon. 30 seconds of doing that. If you're at the back of a five-minute scene, which we were, it's really difficult to sort of push that on anywhere new. And a lot of the times, I really did my best work

when the camera, I realised, wasn't even fucking on us. Do you know what I mean? When we did Paddington 2, me and Jamie, we spent like two weeks with all these essays. And to give it some, like, that was quite a King Gary sitcom. You were doing it. Me and Jamie were sort of thrown in with like 400 essays.

And a lot of people just thought that we were essays for a lot of it. So we ended up, and you end up just having like these long like you say these long sort of boring old conversations but one guy at one point was talking about sort of like he'd just broken up with his wife he was after legal advice and then someone down the fucking table from a start throwing in legal advice it was actually like a really quite a weird community that he actually gets built it's quite straight i mean for you it's I suppose as well, though, the thing is you've got the fact that you're sort of quite recognizable.

People knew who you were. No one knew him. Genuinely, people there thought me and Jamie were the same. Me and Jamie were sort of cast into a place where we were almost the lowest of the people there. Like people just, because we hadn't done any films. So we both had our own TV shows. And we were like, oh yeah.

And they were like, what films have you done? We we were like oh yeah and they were like what films have you done we're like we've done films we've just done tv stuff and they're like yeah i've just got off star wars mate and like we were in order me and dimitri who's one of the best best guys and i'm one of the best actors and knocking about he's incredible we're like sort of like sort of like the runts of the group. It's funny, isn't it? Because I was chatting to the two guys that I was working with on Friday, and one of them had just come off Jurassic World. And then what I was really interested in,

because I haven't done any essays. Essays, by the way, is extras supporting Artis. We should say that. I don't know if that had come. So he said he was doing a bit where he was having to sweep up or something. I don't think that's a spoiler, is it, that there's some dinosaur shit hanging about? Yeah, he was doing a bit where he's having to sweep up or something. I don't think that's a spoiler, is it?

That there's some dinosaur shit hanging about. Yeah, he was a caretaker. Yeah. And I said to him, because I love the Jurassic World films. I love them. It's just sort of that thing of working on a thing is really exciting. But he had no idea what the film you know aside from that day that he had

sort of doing that background stuff he saw nothing he's got no idea what's what's in that involved in that film or anything

do you know what I mean it's like also what I love initially is when they when they've given themselves names in in films

because you can go on IMDB and they've given them but they're clearly just a background artist but they've given themselves. Yeah, but I think you'd give yourself, you remember when Phoebe did it in Friends?

Yeah. And she gave herself a little backstory. That's what I would do. Yeah, I think you'd have to. Yeah, you've got to come into this with like, you know, if you're playing a janitor sweeping up in the background, you're a bit disgruntled about it

because you had a dispute about they wouldn't grant you a holiday that you wanted and you'd been booking to go away to Portugal for ages. Do you know what I mean? And you've been saving up for ages and then they said it's a key time for the company. You know, like some shit like that. Give it a bit of fucking fire, you know?

Have I ever told you what I had to audition for Mary Poppins? Is it the second one? Yeah, no, no, the first one. Not the first one, because I was... I was a bit of spunk in the first Mary Poppins. Yeah.

No, no, the one, the more recent one. Yeah, I auditioned for this as well, so let's hear your story, then I can tell you what. I think Paddington had just come out and King Gary had just come out, or maybeary just come out or maybe king go to party anyway my agent calls i was really excited we've got an audition for you for um a uh for mary poppins and

i'm thinking oh wow that's that's incredible how exciting and the part is the milkman right so i'm like a bit of you as a as someone who's around a bit, thinks it's slightly annoying that people don't think I can. But then I think maybe the milkman's a bigger part. I then get the sides, which is the script that I've got to read. And my line is, good morning, Mr. Banks. That's it. So on the sort of basis of my whole career, which was at the time Murder and know, murder and successful action team,

um, Paddington and other roles, no one in the casting department knew whether I'd be able to fucking realistically carry off that line of good morning, Mr. Banks. Right. So I, uh,

so, but anyway, I'm like, you know, in for a penny and for a pound, uh, I thought I'll go along, but I did that thing of going, right, I'm going to give him a bit of a backstory.

Sure. And so I go into the audition and there's a guy reading as Mr. Banks and he comes out and he's saying, oh, Jennifer, you must get ready for school or whatever. He opens the front door and I'm there and go, oh, good morning, Mr. Banks. And the guy goes, oh, you're not very happy. I said, well, in my head, you know, the Miltman's, he's very happy I said well in my head you know uh the milkman's he's worried about being a milkman you know it's a dying trade you know how many people

get milk anymore you know what I mean you sort of you've got waitress orders he's sort of got that on his head he's got is he going to be able to pay his mortgage what's it what else is he going to do if he can't be a milkman um and the guy said oh i think you're thinking too much about the role i said well that's what our job is isn't it i mean it's just one line but let's let's give it some conviction um and he went can we just raise it a bit so um because like oh good night goodbye jennifer goodbye you have good luck at school he opens opens the door. Good morning, Mr. Banks. He was like, oh, okay. This episode is brought to you by Secret.

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APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. In my head now, it's his birthday.

But no one in his round nose is his birthday. And I didn't get the part. Yeah, obviously didn't make a very convincing milkman. And then when I watched the film, they just cut the whole line, which happens quite a lot. Is that a fact? What was your, when you, who did you audition for in that book?

I've had a, I had, well, things getting cut. I had that happen to me in, uh, Miss You Already, with,

uh, Tony Collette and Drew Barrymore. So, there's a scene in this film where, um, there's a charity auction. Well, I had to read for this part, but it wasn't really,

they wanted me to just riff as if I was comparing a comedy gig or what. Yeah. So I turned up and it was like, you know, pretty cool. I'd never done anything like that before. Yeah, you turn up on a film set, meet Drew Barrymore, meet Tony. How were they, nice? Paddy Constantine was in it. Wow.

It was great. They were really lovely. They were nice, really nice. Anyway, I did this whole thing and it's a classic thing of like they go can you work the tables and riff and i'm doing it and everyone's like i'm this sounds like i'm bigging myself up here but it's like felt like the stars are and people are pissing themselves like all the other the actors are going oh my god this is so funny the stuff you're just coming out of and i'm like oh thanks thanks like just you know because that's yeah but also, when you get compliments,

by God, you get cocky. I'll start talking over Drew Barrymore's lines. Hold on a minute, love. I've still got a bit of improv to do here. We've given him a glass of Kool-Aid now he's pouring it himself. Just, Romeshesh we do need to we do actually need to get the scripted dialogue out as well if that's I mean I'm glad you're having a good time but anyway so like the stars aligned I have a great day do you mean come off yeah and I you know pretty buzzing anyway

I get an email maybe two months later saying um you know edits are difficult uh just under the pressures of time where to lose all your stuff so now every now and again i will get a text message not a text message sorry a tweet or uh an instagram message from somebody going were you an extra in miss you already because there's a scene where they go to a party and you're sort of hovering in the background. Hovering? But that's the worst thing you could... If you're noticeable as an SA in it,

that means you're not doing your job properly. Yeah. Wow, man. You know, I get a lot of people thinking I'm in a thing. There's a fucking Smokey Robinson in the Miracles video that apparently I look like one of the miracles. I get that a lot. There's a photo of George Lucas

when he's in his 20s that apparently I look like. I auditioned for Mary Poppins, not for Milkman. It was for one of the security, the insurance or something like that. Like a bailiff or some shit like that. I've not watched it.

I think I could have done that part. Mate, can I take, can I genuinely tell you something? I promise you, I'm not just saying this. I don't know if you ever do this, and it's a really bad thing to do, but whenever I go up for anything like that, or even when I'm doing any job, what pops into my head immediately is people who I think would be better for this.

Yeah, yeah. You know, I can't help it. And the truth is, I'm not just saying this, because we're having this conversation now. I went into that thinking Tom Davis is like a shoo-in for this. Like, you know,

I don't know if they're, I don't know if they're looking at Tom for this, but I just thought to myself, Tom Davis would be perfect. How many lines did it have? It's like four, something like that.

Wow. Anyway, so, so there's a bit where I've got to like, it's near the end, it was near the end of the film and I've got to suddenly have a change of heart and let them in right it's uh i think it's something like that i can't remember such a long

time ago and also because of ptsd i've tried to kind of blank out a lot of it right so i turn up to this um turn up to this office and it's like it's one of these things where i don't know if this is what it was like for you but but where they send, the casting director is American, right? So she gives even less of a shit about you than if she was British, right? Because you're auditioning for a tiny part that she doesn't give a fuck about and it's probably something. And also she doesn't, oh, it's some British comedian, you know, British comedians.

I don't even know who the fuck this guy is, but I've been asked to look at him for this. So I turn up there. I would describe the atmosphere, the vibe, as contempt, if I'm being honest with you. You know, like you sort of walk in and you feel like... I don't know if it's because that's how it is. You're turning up and you want to get this job

and they're looking at loads of people. And so that's kind of... You've you know i'm not an actor and and i haven't been in many situations where i've auditioned for stuff but that's why my heart just the short the small small number of experiences i've had of that my heart goes out to actors man because it is a job that is so chock full of rejection, man. Do you know what I mean? And, yeah, I think, you know, whatever people say, whatever people make jokes about acting not being a real job,

the fucking mental robustness you've got to have to work your ass off. How many people go for jobs and go, I didn't get that job? You probably change jobs maybe, you know, every, even if you did it every two years and you went to a job interview right some actors are doing that three or four times a week and getting knocked back it's fucking like that's yeah before anyone tweets and i'm not saying it's harder than fucking working on a building site or anything like that i'm just saying that it's tough anyway i turn up to uh i turn up to the audition and she goes what

i want you to do she had the camera set at the back audition and she goes what I want you to do she had the camera set at the back of the room she goes I want you to show the sort of movement how you'd move through this because you have a change of heart

and then you go right and so I was sort of like I wasn't even aware of I'd done very little acting at that time right

so I sort of wasn't even aware of the camera position or any shit like that so I just sort of I sort of did it and she goes she stops it and she goes yeah no you're not moving and that you need to sort of i want you to move to show the movement of the the thing and she goes and you're sort of you sort of panicked and i want you to so

i go all right so i do it again and i do i'll be honest with you pretty much the same thing as i did the first time because i wasn't clear on the instructions there's only so many times you can ask somebody to to to re-explain it right and she sort of goes she sort of i could say just going uh no it's sort of no that's not what i need what i need you to do is sort of move into almost into almost in towards the camera because you're sort of it's a change of heart it's a change of emotion you know in the scene and scene. And I go, okay. I do it a third time, very similar to how I've done the previous two times, right? And at this point, she's like, no, I need you to, you've got to just move like that. You know, she's explaining to me again.

I go, all right. So then I feel I've got to do something different, right? Because I keep doing the same thing over and over again. So I just really fucking went for it. Right. So I do the lines. I move. And she honestly went like this midway through it.

No, no, no, no. That is not. You're not even in the shot now. Like it was so fucking like she like told me off. It was really awkward. And I just went, OK. She goes, anyway. OK okay I think we've got it I can't be bothered to

try and get it now because there's no fucking way did you have a drink after that? mate I phoned Flo my agent and I said to her not only am I not going to be in Mary Poppins I think I may have just burnt my bridges with

Disney as a company. Did I ever tell you when I went for that film about Jesus? No, go on. Right, so you got anger. I'd say probably the only thing worse than anger is pity. So my agent calls me and we're going through this thing where he's like, yeah, let's maybe try and do something a bit different. Try and get a few dramatic roles under your belt so yeah there's

a few i think it's i'll have to look back um i think it's joseph finds maybe one of the finds is who's basically playing um this roman soldier who helps j out when Jesus gets reincarnated. Yeah. And I was going in for the role of John the Baptist, right? Right. And so they said no. Just, you know, sorry.

I know I'm interrupting. No, no, no, go, go, go. It's just, it's just Tom Davis who I know and love. It's just so surreal what this job does sometimes. Oh, right. My, my mate Tom Davis is up for know and love. It's just so surreal what this job does sometimes. My mate, Tom Davis, is up for John the Baptist.

Right. I go into the audition. Anyway, you're up for John the Baptist. I know that's how acting works. I don't know what I'm for. Look, you know what it was like when you were in for Scary God? When I went in, I'm like, number one, I'm thinking, I really tried for this.

I'm not even going to. I was like, this could be a big thing. It's a relatively decent cast. It's been made by a director who's made some pretty fucking amazing stuff over the years. So I go in and I literally walk up the stairs of this sort of casting agency. And it's obviously they're doing all the John the Baptists in a day. I'm at the time probably about 23 stone.

I'm carrying a bit of timber. Everyone else in there is six packs up. Like there's sort of a Swedish sort of like Scandinavian, a lot of Scandi looking guys with beards and sort of like really fucking handsome. And I'm sitting there thinking, well, you know, this is a fucking gear change completely. I look like Oblix amongst the whole fucking sea of asterisks so they call me in and then there's this real like sort of heartbreaking scene where

where john's basically talking to this roman guard about someone's seen jesus knocking around you know after jesus has been killed and so i had to do an rp accent which is uh but i don't know what it actually stands for but it means that it's received pronunciation yeah so you have to kind of talk like that that's how i did the whole audition which as soon as i opened my mouth i realized i got it wrong i tried to pronounce every word right oh i can't believe it jesus is back oh no um who saw him what do you say down by the marketplace right and rather than being annoyed the big american director the casting agent and a couple of the producers all started giggling to themselves right and the guy sort of after the scene was like um well um that was great i'm not

sure if this is supposed to be funny it's quite a big moment in john's life he for the first time has realized that jesus his best friend is around you want to try and do it less funny so i thought what was funny was maybe sort of i i when you're a goon you don't know what's goonish about you yeah so you you've done it and you go i've done it they've told me to be less goon you don't know what's goonish about you yeah so you've done it and you go they've told me to be less funny and I don't know

what I've done that is funny so because I'm a massive idiot so I go okay right maybe what it was was I was pronouncing

the words wrong so I really tried to pronounce them as much as I could which skewed loads more laughter right and then

so they're all giggling to themselves and they but they look sorry for me because it's like i genuinely i think they looked they thought the prank was on them they thought i was you know like a jackass character who'd come into sort of you know so anyway um they go you know well that was great um it was a real different way of you doing it the biggest the bigger scene is the moment that um john the baptist for the first time reads out the lord's prayer right i was like oh by the way i said i haven't read all the books oh my god i was trying to be serious oh my god i haven't read all the bible by the way i used to go to catholic when I was younger, and I used to go to Sunday school,

but I don't know all the bits of it. So are you thinking you're auditioning to be an RE teacher? No, but I tried to get on side, because at this point I'm thinking it's going badly, unless they turn this into fucking... I can't act in this scene, but hopefully my knowledge of the Bible will get me into this. In my head I was thinking,

if they do at at some point go actually let's make this a comedy i'm well in the running so if i show a little bit like i'm keen on the so i said i i i really i didn't have any idea that um john the baptist even wrote the lord's prayer and they were like no no that's you know it's it's a part of the film that we've kind of some of this is like you know us you know our our artistic integrity and we've changed some bits i went oh okay cool so um i actually feel embarrassed listening to yeah so anyway they said you want to go to the scene so um it's all around the campfire and they're all sitting there and and john basically stands up and goes um oh hello everyone sorry to interrupt i've written some words for christ who's back um

our father of that in heaven hallowed be their name and um the guy goes hey stop stop what are you doing with your with your hand um why are you looking down? You keep looking. Are the words, do you not know the words? No, no, I know the words. But in my head, as acting as John, this is the first time he's read it out loud. So he's looking at his hand because he's written it on his hand. He's written on his hand? Right.

And they all literally stare at me with sympathy, like the sort of sympathy that i can imagine like you look at like an old dog when it fouls itself in your living room for the first time and you realize it's on its last legs but that's how they look at me and the guy's like oh okay right yeah all right um and i went also he's uh he's obviously a little bit worried about how it's going to go down because it's the first time he's read it out in front of anyone. It's probably a bit like when Elton John first played your song. He sort of knows it's good, but he doesn't know how good it is. And they will just start laughing at me now.

Like really, like just staring at me in disbelief. How are you feeling at this point? Crushed because I'd spent a week learning this. And I thought this was the game changer. I thought the reading off the hand, they'd go, we found our charm. Anyway, so I muddled through the scene and the Lord's Prayer. And I sort of didn't read it off my hand.

And I sort of, at the end of it, sort of shook everyone's hand. And I was like, oh, thanks. And I hope to see you soon. No, I'd never see any of them again. I left the room. it sort of shook everyone's hand and uh i i was like oh thanks and i hope to see you soon no i'd never see any of them again um i left the room and as i left the room a massive roar of laughter started and it's inside the room like you know like it was almost like oh it's been quite a boring day this guy has just sort of lifted the room for a minute with his idiocy and as i walked down one of the other joke like other John auditionees grabbed my arm

and he said where's everybody is it the comedy and I went yeah that was the worst honestly I'm not even I genuinely went to a pub in Soho and sat on my own and got absolutely leathered it's a horrible

feeling I had a thing. It's nowhere near as good as that story, but I had a thing where there was some show for Disney, right? And the director really liked me for it, right? It was like, she was like really like, she basically, I had a Zoom meeting with her, and she said, basically, I want you to do this part, but we've got to get it,

you know, got to get over the line. So I need you to read self-tape or whatever. She goes, can you do that? I said, yeah. And she goes, can you do me a favor? Can you do, can you do one version as you, like not as you, but with your natural speaking voice and one version American? She goes, do you think you can do that?

Now I can't do that. But I said, yeah, I could. And I figured I would practice and get to a point where I could, you know. So she goes to me, cool. And we'll just decide which version we'll go for. And I go, all right, cool. She goes, all right, speak to you soon.

Just send it and we'll just get it over the line. So anyway, I then self-tape. Who do you, do you get Catherine to read lines in for you yeah i mean i've got a lot of stories about that so yeah lisa is reading the lines for me now just to give you an idea i love lisa and she's incredibly supportive uh on the occasions that i've asked her to read in lines to uh self-tape with her she has looked at me in the same way she might look at me if I told her that I've been shagging one of our neighbours.

She absolutely does not want to do it, right? But she sort of begrudgingly does it. So I said to her, look, I know normally I just do these. Because I get sent. I'm not the I just do these because you get, I get said, you know, I'm not, I'm not the calibre of actor that you are,

right? So you get sent proper like, no, no, no, but what I mean, I know what you're about,

I know, I know, but what I'm, but you, you're like a proper actor. Do you get said? we're the same in the sense we,

I think we're both, I'd put you in a scene anywhere and I know that you've got the, this is what, this is just, I don't want to interrupt, right?

I genuinely, I would say this as much as you as an actor and this is having done a lot with you and in king gary watching your capabilities and that's i would say that if you were putting a scene doing anything you you would smash it you would be able to do it but i love it like myself no no but like myself there's a whole different thing when you're auditioning and you're scripting and you're not in the moment that is a whole different fucking thing it's a whole different thing when you're auditioning and you're scripting and you're not in the moment that is a whole different fucking thing it's a whole different vibe that people like genuinely when you watch a film right i always watch film sometimes and think i've auditioned for that part and i didn't get it right and i i that's fine that's just that's the game we're in right

but sometimes i think that's just because i'm i'm one, I'm dyslexic. I have an awful time reading, right? So generally I've got to work double hard to just get the words, make sense of them. Do you know what I mean? That's why nearly everything I do is my own stuff. And when I even do my own stuff, I fucking wing it. But that's why Murder Unsuccessful was so fucking great because I didn't have a script.

When you're dyslexic, it's a fucking hard thing to sit there and go, and that has to sit with, so yeah, Catherine is, I had to sit with Catherine and really go through it and go through it and go through it

and go through it. But yeah. Well, Lisa is basically, every single time we do a take, I know that I'm one take closer to her losing her shit with me about doing this,

right? So, first of all, what she'll do is, when it's time for us to self-tape she'll make sure she is dressed like to go to bed or to have a nap but you know like she'll be in a dressing to basically really sort of hammer home the point that she's been fucking hugely inconvenienced by this right because basically a lot of these that i get sent are like you'll get sent something like this is a shot in the dark it'd be great if you got it they want you to be the guy that polishes thor's shoes in ragnarok you know what i mean and there's a few lines in there it's a great so it's like a

fucking such a long shot right but you know they might like him but you're in so she's used to me doing shit like that right and it never comes to anything so this one i said to her look the director said it's basically my ting yeah i gotta do one version british and one version american right so i go to at least i'm going to do the american one first and i start doing the american one but i've practiced by the way just to give you a bit of context in this i've been watching how to pick up american acts i've been practicing all week before we do this thing right start doing it and lisa starts looking away right as i'm doing the lines and then as we get further into it she starts like really turning away from me and then we get to the end of it and i go how was that and bearing in mind i want you to imagine you're doing this thing

that you've been practicing you're feeling a bit self-conscious about. And as you're doing it to the person, who's your life partner, by the way, she starts willfully turning her, almost fucking like owling her head away from me completely. Get to the end of it. I said to her, right, I wasn't quite happy with that. Can we do another one? And she goes, can I just say something and don't get angry? And I go, yeah, all right.

She goes, today I just say something and don't get angry? And I go, yeah, alright. She goes, Today, something is coming. Kong, Godzilla, they can feel it. Fight together and teaming up or face extinction. Godzilla Kong, the new empire, now playing only in theaters. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub

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Is there any way that I can do this without having to look directly at your face? Oh, lovely. Conditions apply. Is there any way that I can do this without having to look directly at your face? Oh, lovely. Also, we should throw into the mix at this time, right? Lisa is a drama teacher, right? Yeah, she is. So Lisa knows her minerals. Lisa, by the way, has got more knowledge of auditions and knowledge of script reading

and how a script works in either me or you correct correct all right so she goes to me i'm really sorry but i don't think i can look at you while you're doing that accent and not start laughing and she goes and then i can't i'm struggling to give the lines back to you because i'm trying not to laugh i said well this doesn't bode massively well uh but you know it is it was a comedy, so this might be all right. Do you know what I mean? But I don't think the comedy is supposed to come from the guy's accent being unconvincing.

I think that's a very fucking meta. You know, we're not doing aloha for Disney. Anyway, I do it again. And Lisa's at this point. So we do the rest of the self-tape with Lisa faced completely. She's basically turned her chair away from her. So she's looking completely away from her. I do the rest of the thing.

Then we do the British one. It's absolutely fine. Send it to the director. Because at this point, I'll be honest with you, I'm thinking what's going to happen is that they're going to go, let's get them to do the British one. Do you know what I mean? Because it makes sense, right?

So I sent it to her. She goes, yeah, I definitely think we should go with it. I love the British one loads more. Let's do the British one. So I go, OK. Anyway, it turns out, and she didn't say this to me, but she sent me quite a long, detailed email about it. Whatever I did in the American one was so deeply unconvincing

that I'd managed to negotiate my way out of a dead cert booking wow i was a shoo-in right all they wanted was a chat to see if i was up for it and from that point of having a definite job offer i'd managed to be so shit that i'd managed to de-hire myself for that job no but, but also you weren't that shit as English Rom. It was American Rom that was intolerable. Yeah, I guess it was like if they'd watched the American one first, that then your first impression is so fucking tarnished. You're not bringing it back from there.

You can't. The thing I was trying to do, because Catherine's really supportive, like really, she genuinely is incredible when it comes to stuff like that shit and really helpful when it comes to learning you know like just help you know helping with bits but a couple years ago um is it mind hunter or something have you seen the netflix show when it's all about the serial killers yes yeah yeah so you know the guy kempner in that the big guy i don't know the character but i know of the show but yeah so i i'd auditioned a couple of times for that like They liked what they'd seen.

I had to do a tape. So I spent like three weeks. I was like, you know what? I'm really going to fucking... I'd sort of looked into how like, you know, like people I respected like Hardy or De Niro or, you know, Charlie Soran was, Charlie Soran was exec in this show.

I looked into like what their process was or Matthew McConaughey, whatever, of like becoming someone when you're playing a real life person yeah so like you know I read like how Charlize Theron when she did Monster how she so I was like you know I was gonna read about a person fucking yeah I watched all this fucking stuff about like how he you know watched him move like he's moving how he talks and stuff yeah uh spent ages on my laptop just talking as him just sort of like down the lens and all that time came to do the thing and exactly the same thing has happened

to you with lisa i started doing it with katherine and and this was not a comedy by any means and katherine just started absolutely wetting herself and and i'd also done that thing of like going right i'm going to do it i want to just learn learn it, learn it, learn it, learn it. And then when it comes to the day of, I want to do it the day before. So otherwise what's going to happen is if I do it before the deadline, what I always think, if you do it sort of a week before and send it off,

you're going, Oh, I've got about a week where I could have really fucking made that better. But if I really train up to that moment and she just couldn't get her shit together. And it was like, I'm like, look, you can't laugh laugh in this like at least with your one if you're laughing at the background they go oh yeah actually maybe he's funny yeah if you're playing a serial killer who's describing how he's murdered like like a housewife in 1972 it's not the thing you know um i'd argue murdering a housewife in any year is not funny. Yeah. I mean, 1972 specifically.

Particularly unfunny in 1970. You know, murders in the seventies were particularly unfunny, I thought. And yeah, I genuinely sent it to my agent and he's like, is there a way of getting the laughing out of the background? Oh no.

And I just knew that, you know, and when I watch the show now, I watch the guy, I mean, the guy's incredible and you've got to make your peace that that might just not be your fucking, you might not be able to just go into that serious. Mate, I got into this thing where I started, I've started,

I'm being, listen, I don't want to give a bad impression of Lisa, particularly if she now listens to this podcast, but she's very supportive. And I love her to bits. I love you, Lisa, to bits. And often I'm asking her in sort of in the evenings to do it after you've done it, you know,

so it's, you know, so I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to cast any aspersions on it, but, uh, I would say that it has got to the point where I'm so unkeen on getting

her to self-tape with me that I've stopped. I've actually taken to recording the other lines myself and just, we could do, though. We could do them together on Zoom. Oh, yeah, should we do that? We should do a flow. I don't think, listen, as much as I love you and as comfortable as I am with you,

and I've got to say, you know, half the reason that I have as much fun acting on King Gary is because it's such a relaxed atmosphere. I don't know if I'm comfortable enough with you. That would be a real test of our relationship. You know what we could do? We could do some of our favourite

scenes from films together. That's a great idea. We do Training Day. That's a fucking great idea. You know what, we should start doing it. At the end of episodes, we should do you know we should start doing it at the end of these at the end of episodes we should do like a scene together just print it out

yeah I'll be Denzel Washington you can be Ethan Hawke okay I'm not massively bothered by that it just it's the fact that you've obviously already delineated that

in your mind no but I'm gonna be more convincing Alonso than you you just said I could do anything you literally like a few minutes ago yeah but also mate if anything I've given you a chance here No, but I'm going to be more convincing Alonso than you are. You just said I could do anything. You literally, like a few minutes ago. Also, mate, if anything, I've given you a chance here because Ethan Hawke's the harder part. You've got really fucking, like, he's vulnerable.

He's quite sort of pathetic apart from like two of them because Alonso's the cool one. So in a way, it's like I haven't really got a, I'm probably actually almost playing myself in some ways. The smile that plays across your lips way it's like i haven't really got i'm probably actually almost playing myself in some ways the the smile that plays across your lips when you're about to put the boot in really is a thing of beauty you know that no i'm not being horrible i'm just look what i'm saying to you is look what we could do is we'll do all right we'll do training day i'm alonzo you're ethan hawke right

i can't remember the character's name now hoytt, Officer Hoyt. That's you, yeah? And then we'll do... Can we do something from Back to the Future, please? Yeah, I'll be Marty McFly. Fine. I like Doc Brown. Yeah. We can do this scene where I'm playing your mum back in 1955 and we get off with each other.

I tell you who'd be amazing, that'sy's dad that's actually really good yeah thanks man fly i love back to the future so fucking much future three okay are Back to the Future 3. Okay. Are you saying that to piss me off? You're saying that to piss me off? I genuinely love that movie.

Well, I'm not saying that to piss you off. I genuinely love that film. I obviously love the first one. The second one, I could take it or leave it. Third one, I love. Why is the third one the best for you? Number one, I love cowboys. And also, I just think there's quite a...

It's a weird thing to say just as a no right i love cowboys but also i like the fact that yes no but it's also that that feeling of like the end of doc and marty's adventures sure like there's something i find quite sweet about that moment where it also, I mean, I think you find something sweet about the moment where Doc sort of doffs his hat as he travels off with his wife on the time traveling train. Yeah. I think it's, I think it's lovely. I,

even now, and I'm holding it together. The bit is like, where am I? He's like, where are you going now? And he's like, well,

we're probably going to go here and then we're going to go there. And well, it's been great adventure and, and all that sort of stuff it's i mean i've seen it yeah two things i was saying there one didn't really feel like you were desperately trying to hold yourself together you're struggling there and secondly it's quite clear you absolutely got no idea how that scene goes i haven't seen the film for like 15 years. So why go into quota? No, just in case anyone here, anyone listening hasn't seen the film and doesn't know the ending. No, but you can't start going into the fucking scene.

At what point during that sentence did you realise, oh, I don't know any of the words from this fucking scene at all? It's honestly one of the most beautiful scenes in film history, I think. What an incredible thing right that and the uh ending of um episode one uh series one series one film one where we're going we don't we don't need roads that's so cool isn't it oh god i love it back to the future one great back

to the future two great back to the future three great it's a great trilogy those i i always think sort of you know the only one obviously god I always think sort of, you know, the only one obviously Godfather 3 is Bobbins. But, you know, Star Wars, the original Star Wars 3 was great. That's where I left it. Don't talk about Star Wars, man. Please don't talk about Star Wars. What about Indiana Jones?

Third one's great. Do you know what? So the third one is great. But let me tell you this. Did you watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Yeah. yeah right so at the end of that spoiler alert if you haven't fucking watched it i mean i shouldn't have to give a spoiler at this stage it's aliens right it's an alien civilization and i remember sitting there going this is a bunch of bullshit everyone said that this is a bunch of bullshit right except we all love The Last Crusade,

and in The Last Crusade, it's one of the fucking knights that's been sat there. It's more realistic, mate. How can that be more realistic than aliens? Because we've dabbled with religion probably quite a lot in this episode more than we usually would with the story earlier. No, I knew which story you were referring to yeah yeah

so but also the john the baptist thing yeah yeah yeah okay we knew we know that those soldiers of the lost ark that they you know they're in the bible somewhere right so there's more evidence that they were around because of the bible than aliens okay i don't want to get into a debate now like we're what an hour into this and you're now starting a debate about existence of aliens versus the existence of god that's not my thing my i'm debating what i'm debating is has a man been in a cave for that whole amount of time? Yes, because he drank the magic juice. Without, what, taking a shit or a piss anywhere? Mate, he obviously had a shit.

He had a little toilet in a cave at the back, probably. I just, I can't imagine what that cave would smell like. How can Indiana Jones be expected to focus on what fucking chalice to drink from? Well, it just is absolutely minging in there but that's a good thing to sort of finish on in a way it's like i mean i know we often all roads lead to rome with us but do you ever watch films and think when when have they even been to the toilet especially indiana jones yeah i i do i remember watching the jungle book and wondering

how smelly that little sort of loincloth must be the jungle Jungle Book, out of all of them, I've never thought about because that is, he's probably just gone in the jungle. No, but I'm talking about that. You know, does he launder that? He probably washes it. Like when you wash stuff in the river, it'll clean. Yeah, absolutely. One of the things, actually, talking about that,

is Mandalorian. In the Mandalorian, somebody refers to going to the bathroom or wanting to go to the toilet and i'm pretty sure it's the first time ever that sort of anything like that is ever referred to in the star wars universe i mean if anyone know you'd know okay i know that was an insult that's a massively that's a compliment but one thing you love is star wars but thing is, it sort of raised more questions than it answered, really. Because then I started thinking, well, we don't, you know,

if you're in a bar in Star Wars, like, what urinal do you have? But also, I just thought of, I just thought of this is the least sexiest thing that you'll ever say to Lisa, is that her coming in going, oh, Ron, I'm going to put dinner on. What are you up to? No, just a curious thing, really.

I thought earlier today that I'd never really noticed anyone mentioning going to the lavatory in the Star Wars films or within the whole of the stress sphere of Star Wars. I've gone back to what's from the beginning to see if anyone... This is the worst conversation I could have with Lisa. She comes in, what have you been up to? Well, I was watching Star Wars and they

mentioned going to the toilet and I'll be honest with you, for me it raised more questions than it answered really. What kind of urinal do they have in there? How do they know that all of the different species would take a piss in the same way? Or even if they do piss... The door closes and a car speeds away.

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, before you go, we've got to do a self-tape. There's a toilet attendant on off. Right, it's time to go. We normally get to at least one email but we've sort of digressed and uh chatted so much um i would say look you know i i know we haven't got into the habit of of of reviewing our episodes as we record them but i would say you know it's uh i hope it gave you an interesting insight into i think this is a more gentile one maybe it was a gentile one yeah

yeah um and also what i always like to describe as a peek behind the curtain yes absolutely yeah um tom can you uh in your own inimitable way uh take us out of this episode talking talking talking happy happy talk. Talk about the things you'd like to do. You've got to have a dream if you don't have a dream. How are you going to have a dream come true? That's South Pacific, one of my favorite musicals. But it's funny when you make your stand in life

and wonder who you're going to be. Are you going to be a strong person or a weak person or fragrant or fertile the truth of the matter is acting is a thing that we do we stand up as the lights shine upon us whether they're on stage or on screen and we try and portray something we're not but the most important thing of acting isn't to portray the things we're not to give a convincing performance it's to use the things within and mold them into a different person to make it believable so it doesn't matter if you're an Ewok just in the background or a one of the Godfather's hitmen who doesn't really have a name,

or maybe you are a busboy on a bus in Back to the Future. The truth of the matter is there's no small performances, just people who put the ilk into the scene to make it grand. Go forth, act your way. And remember, life is a movie. Perform, my friend. I lost count of the number of corners you painted yourself into with that little one that time. Yeah, it was hard to get off.

I don't know how many times I have to tell you not to talk about Star Wars, but you insist and you keep fucking up. It's not Ewok. Okay? It's Ewok. Ewoks do sound better, though. I'm putting you in my head.

Don't fucking. I've got Ethan Hawke and Ewoks in my head. Okay, but that doesn't excuse what you said. Yeah. Well, anyway. Listen, guys. My voice has got this. Sorry, I just sort of.

You look quite sexy. What about you today? Let's close it out like this. This has been the Wolf and the Owl, taking you on another journey through. God bless. Chit chat. Take care. see you next time

probably Friday for the bonus episode peace out if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.