Wolf and Owl - Episode 22

Episode Date: May 5, 2021

We’re talking… stolen bicycles, problems with having funny mates, being back at pubs, energy drinks vs water, dodgy clothing clubs and Kevin Hart’s hot pants. Plus, we answer this week's listener emails with some friendship and relationship advice. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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its head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Okay. Who wants a rewind?

It's time for the Wolf of Now podcast up in your fucking grill. You know how we do. The Glee boys are back, yo. Hello, Tom. How you doing? Big shout out, by the way. It hasn't gone unnoticed

that you're repping the King Gary crew neck. Do you know what? So you gave this to every cast member, didn't you? This King Gary. And every crew member. And every crew member, sorry. So not just the big people, the unimportant as well. So everyone got one of those.

It's a very nice touch. I really like it. You like it? I really like it, yeah. It looks good on you as well. Thanks. You look nice, boy. Anyway, how are you? I feel like I haven't really spoken to you because you've been you've been away haven't you

i've been away i've been away i had like you had your birthday a little birthday thank you cheers thank you for your lovely messages um i had a little few days away with the wife, chill-bladed. Went to a, what you call, it's like a member's... Yeah, a **** place, yeah. But I don't mean that in a... Yeah, the truth of the matter is it was very media. But this is my thing. So when you get there, right, you get a cabin and they give you a couple of bites

because it's quite a big bit of land um so it's like it's like basically the best way to describe it's like center parks for people who think center parks is too cheap uh that's what i think it's cheaper than center parks actually no don't talk right it's not as expensive as you think if you remember if you're a member if you're a member but but the truth is right so you get given these bikes and i'm we're darting around me and the missus are really having a good time uh like riding around the place is it like the middle section of like a rom-com where yeah yeah yeah interweaving and it's like a sort of upbeat kind of actually no we were racing a lot more i'm sort of thinking about i'm trying to think what films i have that and i think they they might have it in something about Mary.

I remember Wedding Crashers, they went on a bike ride, didn't they? Yeah, I think a bike always shows romance. But we were having races quite a lot of the time. Catherine, she's very competitive, my wife. So she'd take a lead and then I'd try and go over, left or right, I'd try and go over like left or right I'd try and get round her she'd weave over

to that side literally to the point where she nearly sort of like we both nearly crashed it was quite full on actually but this is my point I was getting to

people fucking steal your bikes when you're there me and you both grow up in the way right so you constantly as soon as you got a bike as a kid

you were told be careful because some little shit is going to nick this I had two or three bikes nicked yeah I did yeah yeah yeah to the point I soon as you got a bike as a kid, you were told, be careful because some little shit's going to nick this. I had two or three bikes nicked. Yeah, I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To the point I didn't even want a bike anymore.

Yeah, that's exactly. I just thought this is too much now. I can't go through the anxiety of it being nicked. Yeah, and also, I sort of knew that, number one, I was bigger than the other kids my age. So a bigger kid would see my bike

and it would fit a bigger kid and he'd just take it. And sometimes he'd take it. Do you know the worst one is, you know, because people think, a lot of bike thefts are somebody nicks your bike, you never see the guy again. We had bike thefts where you knew who it was.

You couldn't do anything about it. The guy would do it in front of you. Can I have a look at your bike, yeah? And you're like, can't you see it from here kind of thing and then they just sit on it and they just be riding off

in it and literally then for like two years after that like you just see them on your bike yeah and you wouldn't ever

say anything that moment where somebody you know because me and you are such pussies it would just be telling you hey get on with that bike alright yeah yeah I've got you some because me and you are such pussies hey get on with that bike all right yeah yeah do you want me to i've got you some i've got you like another reflector or whatever

be nicer on it do you know that thing though when like they get on the bike and there's part of you that thinks maybe this guy's gonna because it does happen on occasion they just sit on it just to shit fuck with you and then they go here you go mate so that moment where you go oh i'm never getting this bike back again it's such as a kid it's such a it's disgusting and and then they go here you go mate so that moment where you go oh i'm never getting this bike back again it's like it's such as a kid it's such a it's disgusting and also then they just know they can take anything they want from you yeah whenever they see you it's just like yeah i was my mind cast back you know remember when there was the riots right the london riots the london riots right and um i thought you might be referring to the 1990s rodney king rights and

yeah yeah i wasn't around for that yeah i was bowling around on my bike during that yeah yeah The London riots, right. I thought you might be referring to the 1990s, the Rodney King riots. Yeah, I was at Mount Fila. Yeah, I was bowling around on my bike during that. Yeah, yeah. I remember I saw you on a grifter, just sort of. My dreams are the grifter. But during those riots, I was living in Bermondsey at the time. And we got told about a guy who was walking home

and a group of lads mugged him for his phone and his wallet, but then made him take off all of his clothes as well including his underpants and he had to walk home like that that is that's that was the that was the worst thing i was worried about during the riots oh mate that would be the work i don't know how you come back from that right well you get dressed i think step one no they're taking all your clothes no i mean when you get home i mean you know yeah but i mean imagine you've got like a mile and a half walk and you're completely naked and you haven't got a phone. It's funny, isn't it?

Because that's quite a funny scene in a comedy, isn't it? But in reality, it's one of the bleakest, most horrifying things that could ever happen. Yeah, yeah. Just somebody running home naked. And also, you're knowing in yourself that that is not a physically fit and cool guy.

They've picked on sort of like the surf of civilization they've not gone up to a geezer like it's stacked and gone right take your clothes off they've gone to a bloke who they know this is gonna have like you know long-term effects on i mean like you know then they're just they're sort of watching you go away with no clothes just sort of go on there mate yeah because you know the biggest thing they're just, they're sort of watching you go away with no clothes, just sort of, go on then mate, off your truck. Yeah. Because you know the biggest thing they're taking is your dignity. Yeah. I always wanted to find that person

and just sort of buy him a pint and just sit and chat with him and tell him if things are going to be okay, even though I know it's not. That's one of the most patronising things I think you've ever seen. Can you? What?

That was a nice thing. Somebody has a horrifying experience and when you step in, do you know what, mate? I know that's one of the worst things that could happen, but things are looking up for you because Big Tom D's

decides to have a beer with you. No, but I mean, if anyone knows this person, get in touch, please. I want to know if he's all right. So, shout out to him. Actually, the truth is, we will take him for a beer.

We will definitely take him for a beer. How would we verify that that's him? I think we will definitely take him for a beer how would we verify that that's I think you'd know I don't think anyone would own up to them if it's not them I think that would be

a salad diamond okay okay okay if you were if the West Ham first eleven

putting out a thing going they're looking for a guy that got his clothes nicked off him because they want to take him out for a meal and like spend some time

like hang out with the team and stuff like that you're telling me you wouldn't lie about that being you I can't see by the way I'm not putting us

on a par with hanging out with West Ham I'm just saying as an example I can't I can't tell you I wouldn't like

the place I am in life at the moment I don't think I'd do that if I was you know back in the day I think I'd probably try of course you fucking would and of course you would i mean like look so my dream is that this guy's okay he's he's doing well i said you love i said you buy out for mortality

so when it sort of he sort of went i thought you might say vibes and then for a second it felt like you might say viagra and you finally finally settled on vitality and he finally settled on vitality. I've got to tell you something, right? This is just sort of, I went out last night. Yeah, I saw the picture on Instagram. Yeah, I've deleted that since because I was drunk when I posted that

and I thought, why am I posting a picture of me out? It's just mental. Anyway, it's one of those ones where like I really... You're not even doing anything zany. I know. You're just i'm on a

bench i really um enjoyed the night out so then i had a few so then i was a bit like hammered and then had that kind of like you know that warm feeling of like isn't it good to see your mates and then i posted it on instagram and then this morning i woke up and i looked at what the fucking hell am i doing i just deleted it straight away anyway the reason. I thought it was a really sweet picture of you with people that you cared about. And I think you shouldn't be ashamed of that. I think it's a peek behind the curtain into the guy that we love.

Sure. One of the things that sort of slightly irritated me, and I've got to be honest, I don't know if your friends do this. I am getting fed up with my mates telling them about people they love in comedy that aren't me. It just dominates the conversation. Now, you came up quite a lot, Tom.

And I'm going to give you a direct quote from what somebody said to me. So one of my mates has been listening to The Wolf for Now. And he said to me, there's one bit during the podcast where Tom goes to you. First of all, he goes to me, fucking hell, Tom Davis. This is like open to, goes, me fucking hell Tom Davis this is like opens it goes fucking hell Tom Davis

I go what and he goes how fucking funny is he like it's just so naturally funny isn't it and I go yeah yeah

and then he goes honestly mate I don't know how you how are you on a podcast with him like just like are you not just cracking up the whole time

I said yeah yeah at this point I'll be honest with you Tom i was enjoying it a good mate of mine's getting a sort of a big up i like it and then he goes to me there's one bit i genuinely said this to me right there's one bit where tom goes to you he goes rom you're like one of the funniest blokes i've ever met and i felt like saying no tom you're one of the funniest blokes roms ever met and why are you telling me this wow geez that's very sweet of your friend to say oh my i mean hold on before the point of the story tom was about him about my i don't give a fuck about yes that's very nice for you why do i have to listen to that yeah yeah but let me just throw this into the mix, right? Every fucking Saturday, my mum calls me and goes,

have you read Romesh's thing in The Guardian? And I was like, yeah, he's fucking, he posts it on Twitter and he posts it on Instagram, of course. He posts it on all of his socials. He goes nearly as far as Facebook. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. My mum will then read the whole thing to me on the phone. She reads it out to me just in

case i haven't read it or seen it one of my best i'm like it's always very funny yeah it's great that's great so you say about my dad once in front of me turned around and said uh funny's broken england at the moment without a doubt is romesh he's so so funny he's one of your own he's like that's what i love about him the most He's one of your own. He's like, that's what I love about him the most. He's one of your own. I was like, well, one of your actual own is standing next to you. And then he said, yeah, the thing I love about him is he doesn't try too hard.

I was like, what the fuck? It's a hindrance that you have, right? Because at a time before we did what we do now, where we open ourselves up and probably for me and you i was in my group of friends right that's what my place was i was the funny one who used humor to sort of like cover up all of my anxieties and all my problems in life right and i'm knowing you i know you're probably the same right and then now we do that and we do

that on a bigger scale but also what happens is you know the amount of friends like you know when who who sit and watch your shows you'll text me and go you know he's just smashing it he's so so funny like you know it's like i've had people go it's so good that he's taking you under his wing do you know what i mean like so that's just that's the sort of yeah oh literally it's taken i think quite a long time for people not to call me your sidekick. It's mad, though, isn't it? What do you reckon that is?

Because, like, obviously, you don't expect your friends to be bigging you up the whole time because, you know, that's not what life's about. But I think,

I think it's a thing, I think it's a thing where your mates, because they've known you from before you did comedy, they just can't see, they can't see you in that way. So like anybody that I work with,

like we say when I do the show with Beckett, just constantly, just fucking Rob Beckett. How do you even manage to be on screen? Like how do you manage to be in the same thing as him when he's being so funny? It's like, it must be so difficult.

I just think your mates can't, I don't know. I think as well, I don't think I've changed greatly as how I was before. And I don't think, you know, i think as well i don't think i've changed greatly as how i was before and i don't think you know the way i am with people i don't think and i know that to be true of you so i think there's certain people who do our job who i can tell you now who i look at and go oh fucking hell well yeah yeah you've you've you've literally fucking larry the fucking

kool-aid you fucking absolutely lash the fuck out of it and then that probably creates a different thing of like who you are within your group of friends i think with me and you it's just like and i think the same is the same i'd say the same with beckett do you know he's still powers of the guys that you know and i think that that's indicative then people don't really see that you've that you have changed or that you sort of it's weird as well the stuff that people pick up and go oh yeah yeah oh you're doing that thing now oh you've that you have changed or that you sort of it's weird as well the stuff that people pick up and go oh yeah yeah oh you're doing that thing now

oh you've made it of everything I've done I'm really really proud of and stuff that I've written I've created and everything when I played in software it was like

blokes I hadn't heard of since from school but it was like fucking hell now he's done it he's smashed it and loads of them going how are you playing in that

how are you getting in that how are you standing toe to toe with you getting in that how are you standing toe to toe with Olly Murs it's like it's weird isn't it like because you sort of have these things

that you think are big because we love comedy and we work you know we've always aspired to do comedy but actually my mates they're not big comedy

I know they'll watch comedy but they're not comedy fans do you know what I mean so they don't really give a shit if you do Mock the Week or even Live at theollo or anything like that because they just think what's the fucking comedy show they don't really watch as soon as you do something you know if i

like my mates would be more excited about me doing fucking celebrity bake-offs than there would be a series of the rangination that's genuinely it's insane that's it's mad it's mad so i guess what I'm saying you know this is more for my friends really can you stop telling me about how great you think guys

if you want to honestly these kind words always go a long way so what you can do is just email to the podcast

wolf our pod at gmail.com and just say just say some kind words and do it for both of us because sometimes you need to hear

nice things within the galaxy. Yeah, but we don't actually want any of that. Can I just sort of we don't want you to email that because we already don't read out bits at the beginning of emails where they're being nice to us. So why the fuck we'd want an entire email of that?

Have people stopped emailing the pictures now thankfully yes and do not i know okay can i can i just say i'm not gonna do it now no yeah no because it's one of your favorite is every time even as you started to ask the question there your little fucking face lit up because it's one of your favorite it's like your new favorite thing is to ask for pictures to be sent into the podcast. I don't know why it tickles you so much. I don't know why it does. It just brings me so much joy. It made me more joy. Now when

poor Leeson's got a set freedom, it doesn't really. But the thought of you having to go through opening emails, it's a fucking picture. It really tickled my chops. Have you been out to the pub since we're allowed to yeah now so I so when I so when I went out last

night we went to a lovely pub shout out the Parsons pig on the Balkan Road anyway we were sat in this like marquee area everyone sat there having their meal. They're doing a nice curry there. It was so fucking cold.

It was rain lashing in. And I had a nice time seeing the guys, but a couple of moments during the night, I thought, this is really desperate, this, by all of us. And I don't just mean me and my friends. I mean, everybody gathered there. This kind of movement,

this desperation to move back to normality, meaning that you're willing to sit, essentially, in a car park with a tent over the top of you, trying to pull a good time out of your ass. It's pretty sad. I disagree, buddy.

I disagree. And I don't want to be harsh on you here but i i think it's one of the greatest things about the way we are as people i think that you know i sat in a freezing cold uh pub garden the other day i looked around at my brothers and sisters my kin that were not my actual brothers and sisters i mean people are in the pub with me and i looked and i thought wow we're all in this together you know everyone's just been looking forward to

that sweet sweet draft pint you know a little bit of pub food just looking over at another table and nodding and just knowing

they're having a good time and you know as cold as the night sky brought I had a warmth in my heart

that couldn't be replaced okay that was how I felt boy yeah okay I mean I had I did enjoy it

all I'm saying you enjoyed it loads look at I can see how much you enjoyed it sitting there by the way I noticed you have a very flash bottle of water

with you it's not a big old pint glass you're just sitting there a big glass bottle of water what is that that fucking

is that cell Pellegrini or whatever it's called a bit of Pellegrino mate yeah oh my god you just fucking spent a week at a fucking members fucking What is that? That fucking... Does it sell Pellegrini or whatever it's called? A bit of Pellegrino, mate, yeah. Oh, my God. What are you talking about? You just fucking spent a week

at a fucking member's fucking farmhouse. Mate. Yeah, but... Yeah, so going back to that, by the way, loads of people were stealing my bike.

I had to go like a fucking nerdy kid and turn around to the people who run the place and say, look, someone's been stealing my bike all the time.

Oh, my God. You didn't grasp... You became a snitch. I wasn't a snitch, I would have stolen my bike three times in a row. What, the same person?

This is, you know, this is one of the saddest things I've ever done in my life and I'm really regretting saying this because I know that it's going to be something that you can thrive on.

I'm not, look, before you carry on, I'm not like you. I don't thrive on your misery. Okay. We'll see what happens. I actually try, I try and, I try and big you. I don't thrive on your misery. Okay. We'll see what happens. I try and,

I try and big you up. Well, yeah. You're the little, you're the little, you're the little fucking misery leech which feeds away. The misery leech.

Right. So, I have my bike stolen two times, right? And I'm in pieces because I had to saddle just the way I wanted. And also,

so you get a label with your name and you put your name on a little brand label so it is actually enabled yeah it's labeled it's got like tom cabin whatever well i understand what our label works so all right full name or just after i said all that i need i need clarification just first name just first name tom yeah so your bike it's got a little brown label on it saying tom tom and in my cabin nine year old zanarac yeah okay go on and then after my bike got stolen for the second time um i uh i wrote on it please do not take on the label oh my god please tell me you didn't do that I did yeah How do you think

How do you think that is going to affect Anybody's decision making process I just thought If somebody's inclined to take a bike And they go over there Do you think Oh hold on a minute This says please do not take

No but I just thought It would go out to their righteous souls Please do not take Whoa What, but I just thought it would go out to their righteous souls. Please do not take. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh, yeah.

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at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11am. They look at it and go, you know what, actually, mate, this guy looks like he really likes this bike. Okay, so what happened? Did somebody still take it? Someone still took it, yeah.

So what did you do? I was fucking in the end. I just said, I'm probably not destined to have a bike and I just walked everywhere. Okay, so it doesn't feel like that big a tragedy. Well, it was because I had to walk and my wife was riding around on the bike at the time of her life. Oh my God, so she carried on riding while you were walking?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, it sounds like you've got bigger issues there than the bikes getting nicked. So did you tell the staff? You know, the worst thing is it was the hardest thing was to get a bike with a basket in the front.

And that was what I was really gutted about. What did you put in the basket? Just bits, like keys. Like what? Keys and a bottle of water and stuff on my swimming trunks but there's no way I've always dreamt

of having a basket on a bike but like there's no way when I was growing up you could have done that do you know what I mean? you get the shit

yeah so what you did was I might have believed that what happened was you always dreamed of having a basket on your bike, but because of where you grew up and the issues that you were dealing with in your childhood, what you decided is you decided to embark on a career in comedy or some sort of media

so that you could get yourself to a point where you were flush enough to go to the sort of members type places where you wouldn't get beaten up for having a bike with a basket on it. Is that your sort of long game? Yeah, but honestly, that was the thing that I always just dreamed of. Why? I don't know.

I just think it was some of my happiest times of the last few months which has been on that bike, on the open road, just with a bunch of treats and snacks. So do you actually go and speak to a member of treats and snacks so uh so do you do you actually go and speak to a member of staff are you drinking a protein drink yeah no i drink isn't that the one that is that the one that jamie's um are you sure because i'm sure jamie's

done an advert for them isn't he yeah he has yeah so what has he signed as you signed have you signed up now as well no no no i've no. I've not done it ever, but it's so delicious and it's got collagen protein 20. Collagen? Yeah, collagen protein in it. What's going on? Have they asked you to mention it on the podcast? No, no, no.

I'm just drinking it and just hoping that one day they'll get in touch and send me some drinks. No, no, no. Because I'm a bit suspicious about this. Why? Normally, you wouldn't give a shit about what water I'm drinking. This is quite classic Tom Davis behaviour.

So he starts talking about something that he wants you to talk about with him. So just so you know, people listening, this is something that's now suddenly occurred to me. He has taken so many fucking sips, right? More than any normal human would need during the course of his podcast. When am I recording for 25 minutes? I reckon he's gone to that podcast. Oh, shit, during the course of this podcast. We're going to record it for 25 minutes. I reckon he's gone to that bottom. Oh, shit, shit. I don't think I've thought on record.

Oh, please tell me you haven't. Oh, no, I haven't. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Does it record on the screen? Yeah, it does. Okay, can you start recording now? How could you send it then? Oh, my God.

It's because we're out of fucking hoop. We haven't done one for a while. What do you mean we're out of hoop? We fucking did one last week, you silly c***. Will it have recorded from the bit before? Yeah, the sound quality might be a little bit shit. That's alright, don't worry about that. It's fine. So now Tom's finally

recording. What is it you fucking do on this podcast I send you the fucking email for the zoom mate and

Lacer does the emails and you can't even fucking record your own voice for it oh man oh fucking hell oh man oh

fucking hell anyway what were we talking about biting the basket on it yeah biting the basket no we were talking you were talking about my uh

oh your drink sorry your drink yeah so he's drinking it again just be honest with me and I'm not going to judge you for it is there

is there something going on no no no that's right have they asked you me and I'm not going to judge you for it. Is there, is there something going on? No, no, that's right. I am, I'm sort of flirting with them at the moment because I really like

this stuff and I'm paying quite a lot for it. I've got a lot of it in my fridge and it really is good. I'll tell you what, when you are training,

it really, really pushes you for that extra like burst of sort of like strength or power. I actually think you'd be great with it to give you sort of, right, when you're on your peloton and you're just like you're sweating

you're just like you need the extra push you're like i just find it incredible when like sort of regular people sort of buy drinks like that this is that this is where you're closing your mind when you're training you've got to train like you aren't a regular person okay you've got to train like a beast but what i'm saying is it, I have not reached the level of exertion or sort of pushing my body where the type of water I drink is going to make the percentage difference that I need in terms of what I'm doing.

But I think that's where you're closing your mind to it. So what do you have when you're in the gym? Water. Yeah. You need something that's got... No. Famously, water is... You're right. You're right.

What an absolute fucking mug I am drinking water. No, you're right. I've fallen for the hype. The big fucking... The big fucking water conspiracy. I'm one of these twats that thinks hydration's the way forward. You tell me why this thing... this thing of yours is mainly water

you're conscious because this is what you do you know that you are not the expert on a scenario what you do is you get all fiery not only am I not an expert I'm also not talking to an expert so it's a double whammy

I know that you're sort of thrown about like your big ronnie ronnie big dick right the truth of the matter is yes water is good and by all means carry on with your water drinking it's very good to be hydrated but when you're sweating and stuff your body will be losing certain amount of i can't remember what they're called but they're like um salt electrolytes yeah electrolytes yeah so this stuff well hydrate is stacked full of uh electrolytes now i okay so oh my god have they paid you to do this because you just used the word stacked no i haven't paid me no have you no have you paid me no no have you spoken

directly to the people at well hydrate no no i haven't no are you trying is this a part of the thing of you're trying to get wow hydrates a sponsor yeah i'm trying to get wow hydrates to send me and you some wow hydrates and then look i'd love you to have a wow hydrate in your life it would just make me happy uh all right fine actually what we're talking about because actually you know what this is what i want people to know you know on this podcast we we are all talk earnestly and we'll talk honestly. And, you know, wear a hydrate, big shirt out, you're amazing. A company that aren't amazing and actually are snake-ish and disgusting is Fabletics. Okay, before you carry on, I hadn't heard of Fabletics

until I was on the set of King Gary for a scene that, for reasons that are beyond me, was decided to be filmed in possibly the coldest fucking location in the whole of the United Kingdom. And during that, you did like a fucking 20-minute monologue about Fabletics, how great their trousers are, how you can use them in any circumstance. I actually looked

up Fabletics after because you were so impassioned and I actually quite look up to you Sartorially. I think you present yourself very, very well actually. I always think one of the things I admire the most about you is you always look freshly dipped.

So when you started talking about Fabletics I did look it up i'm gonna be honest with you i didn't see anything i particularly liked on there but but anyway that's just to give the listeners a bit of context so i'm so thankful that you didn't fall for the hype and you didn't because look at the time let me just quickly say i was kevin hart had uh has got a line out with uhletics, right? I love Kevin Hart. I was like, wow, he always looks freshly dripped, as we say.

He looks cool, man. He's a cool guy. So I look into Fabletics. I buy myself. The idea that you would look at something that Kevin Hart is, just think about that. You are looking at something that looks good on Kevin Hart, the shortest man in entertainment possibly and you are thinking that's the guy i'm gonna go to for mate i just look at him and look he's not my first go-to go-to guy but i do look at him and think he always looks cool and he always looks slickly put together do you know what i mean yeah right so

fabletics they have these amazing sales where you can get trousers for like 15 quid but they're good trousers or shorts for like eight pounds and you're like fucking out the most fucking tenuous use of the word amazing that i've ever heard they do these amazing sales where you can get this is exact almost exactly what you said they do these amazing sales where you can get trousers for 15 pounds but they're good trousers okay okay god so they do these trousers in shorts. Because this is quite a big political thing that I'm doing here. Okay, fine, fine. So you then basically look at it and go,

fucking hell, you can get some nice sweet stuff. So when you first join up, you get like a 50% discount code. But then you have to sign up. And every month they take what they call is a member's fee, which is a £50 token. Like they take £50 basically of direct debit out of your account. What it means is like you go, that's cool 50 pounds i can basically like in a couple of months i can shop at the big sale and i can get some fucking great sportswear yeah it doesn't tell you or it might tell you in a small print but i'm like everyone else don't

read the small print is that you can't fucking basically if you're a vip member you can't enter the sale so you can't use your credits to buy sale items. You have to buy them at full price, which is like £70 for a fucking pair of trousers. Everyone else who's not a VIP member is getting for £15. How often do you pay £50? A year? Once a year? No, no, no. Once a month. You pay £50

of athletics once a month. And you can only cancel it on one day of the month. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. What do you get for £50? You're a member but no i know that i know i know that but what do you get for your membership nish nitto you basically so why so why did you do it why did you because i thought oh this would be great because then i can spend it in like that on the big sales like when they come around it right every four months they do like a sale that's like 50 off or even more so for 50 pounds you get 5050 worth of credit, do you?

Yeah. With Fabletic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, fine. So you get £50. You've got £50 to spend. Yeah. And this credit that you've amassed,

because for some fucking reason, you've decided to subscribe to a fucking mid-range clothing company, you cannot spend that money on sale items. No. No. The sale isn't applicable to you so like when the sale comes round

you're like you basically can see like you get emails going there's an amazing sale like where you can get these amazing trousers for like 12 pounds 15 pounds

and you can't fucking get them you still have to pay like full price for them why do you have to pay full price for them? because you're a fucking dickhead who's subscribed to it no but you don't now do you

because can't you just pay on a different account? Yeah, no, but then I'm paying £50 into the fucking long fur. It's like a long con from back in the day to the craze. I'm paying £50 in. A long con's very rarely have an initial deal that sounds fucking shit in the first place. Look, my worry is right i can't believe how long have you been paying this for probably about six months seven months now i'm looking for stuff you've been paying fabletics 50 pounds a month for the last six

yeah and you know what the worst thing is? Now I'm looking at it there, and it's like, I'm not paying £50 for a pair of trousers that I know I can get for £14. So I messaged them last night, and they were like, I want to cancel a subscription

and get this money back because I think it's scandalous. And they were like, oh, you can only cancel your subscription on the 30th day of your subscription, like, you know, whenever that may fall. And also, you can't of your subscription, whenever that may fall. And also, you can't cancel your subscription until you've

used all of your tokens. Oh my god, so you've got 300 quid worth of tokens? Yeah, I know, yeah. Okay, so first of all, what I would say is I don't understand why you joined Fabletics, but that's fine. You're an individual. Yeah, but my

biggest worry is not all of the people I talk to are as intelligent and as sort of stingy as you are stingy? I wouldn't say not wanting to become a members club part of a members club for a clothing company that I once bought some

trousers for I wouldn't say that's stingy you know what I mean frugal I'm not being frugal it's 50 pounds a month that's more than most people's fucking gym membership and you're paying it you're paying it to get yourself 50 pounds worth of fucking vouchers for a thing that you could just use the fucking money for in the first place it's mental and then when i say to you what are the what are the benefits there are no benefits it just means it's worse being a member because now i've got i've got what so but what made you think

why didn't you think i've got 50 quid this month to spend on phabletic stuff why don't you just think i'm gonna keep that and then if i see something i'll just buy it that's how shops work yeah but i'm i'm easily swayed when it comes to stuff like that i thought swayed by what, Tom? You haven't told me a single thing that advantages you. I thought that there must be sort of like... There must be. So you assumed.

You assumed. Yes. There was nothing that actually said, if you join, this is what happens. No, but they were like... You just went, oh. There's VIP things. Why do you want to be a Fabletics VIP?

I don't know. I just felt like I was important and I was a member of something. You are important. You don't need Fabletics to fucking validate you. Okay? I thought that there'd be issues of stuff.

Kevin Hart's got this really cool range there and maybe there'd be some cool Kevin Hart stuff. Okay, I know now. You know, you thought you were going to be the first to get on, like the raffles for Yeezys and shit like that. You thought you were going to get yourself some fucking Kevin Hart hot pants before anybody else did. That's what this is about, isn't it?

Yeah, but the worst thing is now, I was like, I need to spend these credits. And I look at it now, and literally I'm getting a pair of 12 pound fucking trousers for 70 quid. Look, now, I know I've given you a bit of a hard time on this, but what I would say is,

based on what you've said, I think Fabletics are fucking running shady, mate. Yeah. So I want to shout out now. Yeah, this is from the wolf and the owl. Tom, go for it. So listen, I've made a massive boo-boo here.

I've made a massive, massive mistake, and I've dragged myself into a Fabletics shithole. I want to shout out to everyone, because you are not just listeners to this podcast. You're my friend. You're friends. You're my kin. You're people I care about.

Run from Fabletics. Don't be dragged into their shit, because they are woeful, disgusting human beings. And when you go to run for them, the gear that you're wearing for that run, do not buy it for fabletics he's another company they're charlatans and uh they're charlatans and spivs they're charlatans and spivs and and when you're running away from fabletics if you start to get a

little bit thirsty or exhausted try wow hydrate yes well hydrate is the most hydrating sweet sweet drink known to man uh it's only 97 calories per bottle don't be a fucking don't be one of those absolute fucking victims of marketing gullible twats that drinks water

to hydrate yourself okay uh big bocce have we got any um have we got any sweet sweet emails we have no you know what i'm really looking forward to is we've got any sound clips from people speaking to takeaway drivers okay so i'm going to tell you something now when did that takeaway driver thing happen was that on a friday one i think so yeah so we've had nothing so far oh well um so can i just do another um shout out to people if you have spoken to your delivery driver please can you get us in uh get us in a recording of that we will be offering prizes in in return i don't know what that prize will be maybe a takeaway from your favorite takeaway place yeah something like that yeah and it's not going to

be like fabletics where we put we promise something and there's one thing that we'll say on here we will we'll never make a promise that we can't hand out yeah absolutely right okay so now the uh the swan has uh done the emails again. So here we go. This is anonymous. Okay. Dear Wolf, Owl and Swan, long-time listener, first-time emailer. Love the pod. Love the relationship you two have got. I am a 38-year-old Essex boy, born and raised.

I work cutting lawns and hedges. I decided to start texting my friends because I was starting to feel like the one to instigate all the conversations and see if anyone really gave a shit. A little social experiment you like if you like that was three years ago and i've not heard from anyone other than a handful of texts i threw out to people i really care about i need to be ignored shortly after this show how you how you doing texting over the pandemic no one chased me up to see if i was okay i've not spoken to anyone for over a solid for a solid year or so now i work mostly on my own along with this

i'm still living with the mother of my kids who broke up with me six years ago as i can't afford to move out i sleep on a camping bed in the front room we have two daughters 12 and 14 who i love dearly but deal daily with the crushing disappointment of never being able to give them a holiday or the things they want in summary i'm 38 no mates no women no money in a job i hate i know i'm not a prick i'm a nice guy that will always help you out and never steal your bird In summary, I'm 38, no mates, no women, no money and a job I hate. I know I'm not a prick. I'm a nice guy that will always help you out and never steal your bird. Any advice, greatly accepted.

Many thanks. Anonymous. I think of all the emails we've been sent, this is genuinely one of the saddest. I kind of wish that we knew this guy's name in a way because um yeah it's uh yeah look man uh i think the truth of the matter is uh as hard as it may seem i think the people that you've you know you've done a social experiment and people that haven't texted you back and you know you're probably better off without them because they probably didn't care enough about you um and i think they probably were a negative force in your life i think um and i think it's sad that, you know, that happens. You know, without being too deep about stuff, actually,

I think it's something that weirdly this week I've thought quite a lot about myself as it goes because, you know, I had a friend who passed away this week and I think, you know, the pandemic and I think life sort of becoming self-assessed with our little bubbles in our own life and and sometimes we sort of you know you don't tend to reach out to people you don't you know you don't just ping your text to see how someone is and I think it's an incredible thing that you do do that I I know myself I sort of felt a bit lousy actually over the last few

days that I hadn't done that to the to the person in question and you know he was very important person to me at one point in my life and we sort of slowly distanced and that wasn't for any falling out that was just you know two people who neither did what you're doing and reached out um so I think it's important to say that I don't think that that means that people don't like you or don't don't think a lot of you I just think that sometimes I guess people just get caught up in their own lives. I think my big advice for you would be to be a better friend to yourself.

And I think, you know, you're still living in a house with your ex-missus and your kids. That shows that you care enormously about them all. However that's going down and that you want to be there for your two girls. And that shows what sort of person you are, I think. And I think you might not be able to uh get them this holiday that they that may may want but who's who's the holiday for is that for

you to buy them something and i think it probably means more to them that you know you're there every day and you're a presence in their lives i think you should try and be a better friend to yourself uh really push yourself as a human being and get out there and and once this pandemic is over i think rate yourself rate that you are a good person and and don't go into meeting people thinking the only lesson than that i think it's it's important i think quite a lot of people and i know i do it where you you devalue yourself as a human being and and you sort of question that and i think uh remember that that what you bring to a relationship can be priceless and you're a caring guy so go forth and

yeah just rate yourself be a better friend to yourself I would echo everything Tom says listen this is a very difficult Tom and I actually struggled a bit like you know because as soon as we read this it is a very sad email but I think it's sad because

to be honest with you i felt more sad about your state of mind than i did about your actual circumstances i'm being honest with you because you're 38 which is young right you've got two kids who you're providing for from your job you are doing well man like there are lots of positives to take from this and i think you're just in a bad place man you're in a bad place mentally and like look you've said no mates no women no money in a job i hate right you what what my advice to you would be to look at those things and think about which one of those things you want to change or which things you want to you want to prioritize changing right if at all

so for example if you really hate your job, do you think you should think about getting a different job? And I'm not talking about, I'm not even talking about chasing your dreams job. I'm talking about just getting the fuck out of this job. If you're dreading it, I had a job where I was doing a job where every month, genuinely, I've talked about this before, genuinely, I would go to the toilets and cry for a bit because I was so depressed about the fact that I'd found myself in this job. And then I realised I've got to get the fuck out. And it almost didn't matter what I went to.

I just had to get out of this one to know that I'd escaped from that. And then I could regroup and think about what I wanted to do long term. So have a look at that. If you're sleeping in a camping bed in the front room, right, that sounds, when you read it, it sounds horrendous. Is that something you want to change? Do you need to talk about, is that really playing in your mind? If so, you need to make a change on that. Do you know what I mean? So what I would say to you is, first of all, you're doing a lot better than you think you're doing, man. I genuinely

think you've got yourself into a state where you're looking at your situation negatively. And I understand why. I'm not saying that this is all in your head. I'm not saying that at all. to a state where you're looking you're looking at your situation negatively and then and i understand why i'm not saying that this is all in your head i'm not saying that at all but i think you want to look at these things that are causing you anxiety or stress or causing you to be down on yourself and think about which one of those things which are those things you want to change you know the thing with your friends what i would say to you is and i i totally agree with what tom's saying it is inconsiderate that people haven't got back to you but people do do that man like just life gets in the way i've had things where i remember for months i wasn't getting invited out of my mates and i texted them once just i was thinking fuck

this like i need to just let me just get in touch with them and the and they just stopped inviting me because i'd always been so busy and so they just assumed i couldn't come out because they were just they just they were just used to me saying are you we're going for a beer tonight do you want to come and i just go i can't i can't i can't i can't and eventually this gets to a point where the fit i'll ron will get in touch if he wants to come out of us but he's never comes out and then when i did get in touch and they're like holy shit man yeah yeah come out so people just forget people aren't good generally at keeping in touch with people and if you do have people like that or you do know people in terms it looks like from this thing you are what that

person it's a very rare thing and it shouldn't be that rare it should be something we all do all the time like checking in with everyone but unfortunately things don't work out like that so look it's a complicated situation you find yourself in my three bits of sort of takeaway from this would be one you are doing a lot better than you think you're doing okay you're young you're doing a job you're providing for your children you're doing fucking great man the second thing is you know your mates we all have the power to shape the world we're connected to the world we share to each other i am future i wait in the world of echo discover the extraordinary with

echo the spectacular new show by cirque du soleil opens may 8th under the big top at toronto lake shore boulevard west tickets at Cirque du Soleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Maybe reach out to them and say how you're feeling. Tell them what you think. And the other thing is,

if there's something that you really think needs a change, then maybe look into sort of trying to instigate that change. That would be my advice. And also I will say this, and we do a lot of joshing on this here podcast, but I do think it's important not to think of groups of people. I think the one thing I've found as life goes on is that, you know, you have these big WhatsApp groups and that's all banter and stuff. But actually in the last week,

when you needed people, and this is a shout out to Ron, people who do get in touch and see if you're okay. And if picking those friends who you genuinely think, this person cares about me, instead of sending like a carpet text out, but I think try and find people who, one or two people who will check in

and make sure you're all right. Always ping us an email and say you're getting on uh but i do keep in touch wish you well bro keep in touch okay this is a quicker one uh this is from roshan roy that's a cool and this it's a good name isn't it uh hey guys love listening to the podcast have you ever considered allowing listeners to send in voice message questions instead of emails what do you think tom oh i love the sound of that i that's the one thing i sometimes think i mean what these people sound like even video messages would be cool um no no you're doing it again you found a new thing now no we don't want video

messages but i do think roshan roy who by the way would be a great name for a superhero's alter ego in the marvel universe yeah or a bad guy yeah or a bad guy yeah um i think that's a great idea guys if you'd like to send in voice messages we would absolutely love to receive your voice and what can I just reiterate? Yeah, funny songs and stuff as well that you might want to do, like little poems. No, no. If you want to send your email in as a voicemail, please do not

send in any videos. We don't want any videos or pictures for the podcast. But if you do send in a video, we will watch it and laugh. We won't. Or feel sad. Please don't send a video. Okay. But anyway, wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

Send in your voice notes. We'll start playing them in. Okay. Next up, this is from Connor. Connor. Dear the wolf, owl, and the swan. Massive fan of the podcast. Well done on making people laugh during an overall shark time.

Bit of background first. I've been a secondary music teacher for six years and recently left due to the stress of the job shout out to the teachers of real subjects who must find it even more stressful i now work with people who struggle with mental and physical health conditions and support them get back into employment any way i can over the last few years i've supported my friend in getting various jobs as he constantly blamed everything other than himself for his shortcomings he recently became a music teacher and i helped support him during this time however this is a big fucking left turn here by the way however since he started teaching last year he's become an unbearable self-centered arsehole for example when our friendship group meet up he always

directs the conversation to me about him and how brilliant he thinks he is the way he talks he comes across as if he believes his job is the most important thing and that is god's gift to education i've helped him get the last three jobs he has had and i don't expect to thank you as that's not what friends are for but it's getting to the point where i can't speak to him because of the way he is now my question is do i tell him he's become a tool tried to get over this or just focus on my other friendships any advice would be welcome stay safe connor oh connor connor you got yourself in the friendship jam here my friend um first of all can i just can i just speak on behalf of tom you sound like an incredible person probably one of the best people we've ever had email the podcast i think you know what what

we've got here is this is where i always think about getting together with some people like you know our first emailer there who's you know you know looking for sweet people in his life who are going to help him out and be there for him and then we've got connor here who seems like he's being there and people are taking his his sort of kindness and and running you know right wild and and crazy with it and uh i love seeing you get into a little word selection pickle. It's so delightful. Anyway, go on.

So listen, Connor, it's a difficult one because, look, you've been there for this guy and you've been his rock. You've looked out for him. I think it's fair to say that me and Romesh will both say you're an incredible human being. We can tell you that by your job choices and what you're doing now in your life makes you know it makes you for me mate i'd fist bump you if i ever saw you and then i'll buy you a pint and say you're

a delicious sir um so connor here's what i'd do number one i would be focusing on the people who are maybe more worthy of your time and your attention and and the way that you uh you seem like you give a lot out connor and maybe sometimes you don't get a lot back um like a friend from earlier i would say this though I think it sometimes is the hardest conversation to have but sometimes it's the best conversation to turn around and say listen bro

I've helped you out and I've done this this and this you're becoming a bit of a bellend you're a fucking music teacher that's it do you know what I mean I'm glad that you're proud of your job I think it's amazing. Don't forget who got you this fucking job. Be subtle and be kind,

but basically make that the gist of your, your, your way. Cause the trouble is right. And this is, this is from someone who now and again will fucking swerve onto the fucking knobhead lane of the, of the friendship motorway.

Um, you need people to sometimes tell you, give you a fucking check and just say you're being a bit of a bellend at the moment or we're not here we don't want to hear your life story we all know we all fucking help you get out of your shit times that you know so i think a quiet word in this show like um you know maybe have a couple of cold beers um but the main thing is be pleasant be nice be, be kind. Remember, he is feelings, and don't put those in your pocket and squash them. Very weird ending, but I do agree with Tom's advice there

as he takes another sip, yet another sip of water hydrate. Which I assume is getting filled up off screen there because I can't fucking believe they're still drinking it. You might have been sipping from it. I agree with tom actually i i i think look the truth is the reason that this guy's showing off about his job is because he's insecure i mean that's that's where all these all of this boasting and bragging and stuff like that all the swans just walked into the room guys the swan has just walked into the room yo l, Lisa! She can't hear you. She just said, yo, Lisa.

What do you think of Lisa's email selections for today? Brilliant. They've been, I think, the most, yeah, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions. It's been a rollercoaster. What did you say? I said, glad I'm doing a good job. You're doing a great job.

We're really proud of you. And all the listeners, you know, thank you for the Wolf the Owl and all the listeners for your hard work. Thanks. Love you. Have a good day. Bye. Did you get in trouble last night for staying out late? thank you for the Wolf the Owl and all the listeners for your hard work love you bye did you get in trouble for staying out late?

I came back quite late I can tell by the wormy little way that you lay there I came back quite late and then as soon as I got into bed I did a fart that stayed in the room for I would say, over an hour. You know what? The saddest thing of that is that, you know,

last week you were so sort of chipper and cool and you were sort of like, your relationship was here, right? You could see that your relationship had dropped down a peg or two. You were sort of so... It says a lot about your sort of uh your perceptiveness that you picked up on that straight away um so anyway what i was saying was it comes from insecurity all bragging is born of insecurity right uh amen that's where that comes from so

what the truth of it is you've helped him get job. You now need to help him stop being a knob, right? So what I would say is exactly like Tom said. You just need to say to him, you can say it in a very matter-of-fact way. It's not like I think you're a dick for this. You separate the person from their behavior. You go, listen, man, I'm really happy that you're proud in your job and all of that. It's just that sometimes you can go on about it a bit,

and I think it sometimes rubs people up the wrong way. Now, the truth of it is there is a possibility that he will take that the wrong way. It doesn't matter if he takes it the wrong way. You've still done him a favour. He will still reflect on it, and he'll still have a think about it, and he might come out of that being a bit better. So I do think it's a difficult conversation to have,

but you can couch it in a nice way. But I do think it's a good thing to say to him, to be honest with you. And I think what we're both trying to say is tell him to check himself before he wrecks himself. Yes, sure. If we were only dealing in early to mid-90 of hip-hop choruses to give advice out. Tom, what I was going to say to you is, though, is that I think if I was on set, or if you were on set,

and I thought you were behaving like a dick, I would tell you. It's not come up, because you are always wonderful on set. But if you were, if I thought you were making a bit of a tit yourself, or you were being a bit of a tit yourself or you were being a bit you know a bit abrasive obnoxious and i'd same same for me if i was being a bit cocky or whatever i'd want you to come and go mate just like a quick one yeah i think that's i think you need to do that you know what one thing by the way just that i know what i'm thinking of this right now is this

about is this you're about to tell me something no no no no, no, no, no. I was just thinking, no. You know what? I've been watching all this week. I've really enjoyed Home and Away. Why did your brain take you to that? I don't know. I was just thinking about Connor and his friend and I was just thinking about Home and Away and some of the sort of storylines within that. That's not a link, really, but okay.

No, but I'm just saying, actually, it's still got something to it, Home and Away. And actually, Alf Stewart's doing it, so if you remember Alf Stewart. No, I don't. No, I don't. That's good. So Home and Away, when's it on, Tom? It is on Channel 5 at 6 o'clock most evenings, I think.

And is it sponsored by Wow Hydrate? No, no, no, no. Just shout out to the... I just like the fact there's three or four cast members who were in it when I was in 1986. If you'd have said to me that somebody said to you, for a bet,

can you bring up Home and Away in the clunkiest fucking way possible? No. It wouldn't have surprised me because what you just did wasn't a segue. No, I was just thinking about it as I was thinking about

Connor and his problems yeah looking at it i mean i'll go to you what made you think of that talking about connie you meant well just that we were talking about connor i was thinking about connor and then i started thinking about home and away that's not that's how my brain works sometimes i was just fine yeah and i'm just saying shout out to anyone who's having problems you know sometimes it's good to watch your soap because then you watch other people's problems and you feel better about yourself can i just apologize tom my energy's been quite down today hasn't it look we've had red bull rum rum we've had drunk rum this is hungover rum there's different rums it's like yeah like the mr men but you're consistent aren? Yeah, I'm always pretty much the same guy. I cherish that.

Yeah. One thing you can say about Tom is he is consistently, without fail, always, day in, day out, route one. All right, would you want to do one more? Yes, please, yeah. Okay. Firstly, I want to say thank you for the podcast, etc., etc. I would really like some advice, but try and avoid judgment

as this doesn't show me in the best light. Really hoping you can help. Two years ago, I met up for coffee with an old uni mate. We'd not seen each other for seven years, and it was really good to catch up. I was married at the time, and it was all innocent, but soon progressed, and I had an affair. Six months later, I finally got caught out,

and my marriage ended. My new partner promised me he'd be there for me and we started to plan a future together. Things were going well and he told his ex-wife about me. She was angry at first, she would hope they'd eventually get back together but then seemed to soften and even started a relationship of her own. Due to her starting a relationship of her own my boyfriend was called on a lot to look after his son and I saw him less and less and started to become more and more like a booty call. It really wasn't a surprise when he broke up with me, but it hurt like hell, especially as he didn't really give me any real explanation and broke the promises he had made me.

My mental health took a dip and I became quite poorly. It was the hardest breakup I'd ever had. Five months afterwards, I texted him to wish him a happy birthday and we decided to meet up for a walk. Things progressed quickly and within a week, we were in bed together. He told me that after we broke up, his ex broke up with her boyfriend shortly afterwards and they tried to get back together but it wasn't working despite my better judgment i decided to become the side girl and we got closer and closer i have trust issues especially when it comes to men so continue to keep my arms length and i've told him we'll never be in a relationship again i'm terrified of him hurting me he tells me that he loves me all

the time he's leaving his and the leaving me is his biggest regret and whenever i say we're not exclusive he always looks sad he's gone as far to tell his friends and family they're back together and trying to make it work he's one of my best friends and i want him in my life i've recently been going through some things our relationship has stopped being sexual he's worked very hard to try and prove he's not in it for sex and he's being very supportive but i feel like i can't trust him even if we did try and have a relationship uh i don't know what would happen i don't i know what I should do, but it's not that easy. Could there ever be a future for us?

Or should I cut my losses? He makes me happy, and I do believe that he loves me. Should I be grateful for that year and let him go, or should I let down my walls and fight for him? Thanks, guys. Keep doing what you're doing. Wow. The Swan has picked us a real doozy of a selection here.

It's quite tough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's quite a lot of deepness coming into this one. Listen, Anonymous, I think you've answered your own question here in the fact that you do love him. You've said that. You care about him. I'm a believer in the fact that we are all like sort of like trains or like cars or something

basically some sort of mode of transport just all whizzing around yeah uh nice highway and that'd be cars then wouldn't it yeah it would be cars yeah sometimes you know you're not actually in a car you're actually on in a convoy and that would be your friends and your family right you're all together and um and sometimes people turn off that highway and go on another highway there's loads of different highways look the point of what i'm saying is when you keep on turning off of a highway and bumping in and getting into a traffic jam with the same car and seeing that car over and over again it it's not just coincidence. It's because something is pushing you together.

And I think, you know, it's sad to hear that you've been through the mental side of things. It's sad to hear of your divorce and everything that's happened. And we all have to be an adult and you've gone through stuff. But that happens to many people. I think you need to focus on your future and i think you know trust is a really difficult thing because you have to earn trust you have to you know and you've got to work out that he's got his stuff going on you've got your stuff to going on i would be taking confidence on the fact that you keep for some reason getting pulled back to this highway together and I'd say that you need to look at him

and think number one I want to give everything to this person give this one last try knowing that it might not go it might not be this big happy ending but you tried and if it doesn't work you can walk away and you're always going to have this I think the strength that it will never be as bad as it was before or

do you just turn around and say look this isn't you know the juice isn't worth the squeeze the fact of the matter is you know i went through all this before and you know i was so hurt it wasn't it's not going to be worth it um for me i believe that i i think i i kind of think you should try and give it another go because life is too short and uh it could just be another regret and that is what life is is trying to dance around the regrets hoping for a little bit of sunshine romesh that was lovely at the end there the highway thing was a real mess but you pulled it around um i i actually agree with tom i i think that you know if you think about it you know hopefully tom and i are in our you know in the relationship that we'll stay in but before

that every single relationship failed and that's what kind of everybody that's in a relationship has to roll the dice on another relationship despite the fact that empirical evidence shows tells them that every single relationship will end in a breakup do you mean so it's like you're in that situation now where you know the difference is that you've been in a relationship with this guy before. The truth is, it's not the greatest, in terms of clarity of feeling and thought and emotion, wasn't the greatest start to a relationship that you two had. You know, I know things happen and neither of us are judging you

for that at all. It's just that when you're sort of in breakups and people with other people, it becomes slightly tricky to sort of, to work out how you actually feel about it, to progress in your relationship out of that starting point. But now you are in a position where you can sort of do that. So I do agree with Tom, you know, it was horrible for you last time. So bear that in mind. But at the same time, the potential payoff of this is you end up with your life partner. Do you know what I mean? The person you've fallen in love with and gives you the best years of your life. So, you know, that gamble's probably worth rolling the dice on.

So, you know, I would say put your indicator on, move into that lane, and continue on that sweet, sweet highway to love. Wow. Well, you actually smashed the highway metaphor so nicely. Anyway, listen, Tom, I think it's been a good episode. It's been a deep episode, man. Very deep, yeah.

Listen, I cherish the sweet, sweet souls that we've chatted to, and I hope that you guys are going to be all right. Get in touch. Let us know if this advice is genuine, because I think we've dealt with three deep, deep people here. We slightly worry that we're not properly equipped to answer emails of this magnitude. And we can only go with our gut instincts,

and our gut is the same as everyone else's. Sometimes they're going to be full of wisdom, sometimes they're just going to be full of shit. So, yeah, just know that take solace where you can find it. Okay, keep your powder dry, because you're about to take us out of this. Okay. And you're running dangerously close.

Now, before you start, can I just say from the bottom of our hearts, fuck you, Fabletics. Yes. Tom, take it away my brother yeah there was a horse and a jockey both of them stood on the start line and the jockey well he was whirling could he win this race could he take this race and a horse didn't really know what was going on he just stood there pant, knowing that at some point someone was going to slap his ass

and it would be time for them to go. They set off upon the run, sprinting as quick as they could through. The jockey looking to his left, looking to his right at the other horses and the other riders, hoping he could win. But sadly, he started dropping back further and further in the race. As the other horses just flew forward, the jockey starts whacking the horse and whacking the horse and the horse is thinking look i'm doing my fucking level best here mate i'm trying i'm trying but it wasn't good enough the horse and the jockey end up finishing finishing

last and the jockey is in a bar afterwards and he's full of like blues and he's you know because he didn't do great didn't do good do good. He wanted more from everything. And the horse, though, is back in the stables, and he smiles to himself, and he thought, I quite enjoyed that, actually, just getting out and having a runabout and sort of being with all my friends. The point is, sometimes you're a jockey and sometimes you're a horse. Sometimes you set your expectations far too high,

thinking that you've got to win every race, and you've got to get as far as you can, and you've got to win every race and you've got to get as far as you can and you've got to be at the front there's no there's no no clarity being at the back and sometimes you've got to be like the horse sometimes you've got to think i'm out here with all my friends it doesn't really matter where i finish because sooner or later i'm just going to be stuck back in the stable and for those five seconds i was sprinting by god i was alive that was really lovely i mean it ignores the fact that you know horse racing is morally reprehensible but but yes very nice yeah i was just trying to go

for it i'm going to tell you this brother every week it's a fucking pleasure to talk to you my g yo um you know what thank you for being the jockey upon my back thank you okay bye-bye love you if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com that's wolf alpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.