Wolf and Owl - Episode 28

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

We’re talking… kissing marathons, banishing pesky birds, a fitness and health update, logo T-shirts, the likelihood of pigs taking over the world and Rom and Tom’s preparations for watching their very first live football match together. Plus some reminiscing on old cartoon favourites and more of your email questions answered. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler

Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rode in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning.

Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf of Now podcast. Yeah, kid. Two friends, two animals, two saviors of podcasts going head to head in a kissathon. I don't know what a kissathon is. What is? Did you plan to say that? No, it just came into my head at the last minute. A kissathon.

I don't know. What is a kissathon? What is a kissathon? Well, that's what I wanted to know. I mean, you would the last minute. Like a kiss-a-thon. I don't know. What is a kiss-a-thon? What is a kiss-a-thon? Well, that's what I wanted to know. I mean, you would not be able to do a kiss-a-thon now. But back in the day, I think they were like, you brought kisses from people for charity.

You'd have someone somewhere just sort of say, all right, yeah. Yeah, but kiss-a-thon is like you just continually... Isn't kiss-a-thon where you would just kiss for hours and hours? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I mean, yeah. isn't kissathon where like you would just kiss for hours and hours yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe i mean yeah like you're sort of 14 and it's the first time you've ever french kissed when you when you're 14 you're french kissing you just do it for for ages and ages and ages ever you've got nowhere else to go really really just enjoying that like kissing should we kiss again should we kiss it's like

exhausted the next day from the sheer amount of kissing you've done you know you don't see people kissing anymore really do you no i mean i'm sure no i feel this this is my thing with stuff like love island and stuff right you know yeah i'm not anywhere i get sort of dragged into it a bit and you get your you get off on kissing like anyone no no but like you know when people of our age start really getting like oh it's so and so and so and so and so getting together i was like if you're in a nightclub and you just stood around watching other people get hold of each other you would be classed as some sort of weird pervert wouldn't you are you saying love island is for perverts is that what you're saying i'm just saying that everyone who gets so into

other people kissing oh my god they kiss i just think like in any other part of life if you just saw a couple kissing on the street and you just walked up and said i'm so happy you two have got together you'd be a fucking weirdo wouldn't you yeah but i mean you could say that for any tv show if i was if you became really engrossed in like who was involved in this murder like that that would make you a weirdo as well wouldn't it do you know what I mean taking an interest in that is different isn't it taking an interest in whether two people are going to kiss

or you know or have sex is different if you went into someone's living room and said can I just watch you guys watching television

and see what you say about it that would be weird wouldn't you that's Gogglebox isn't it you know what I mean yeah but that's different isn't it

because I'm talking about the fact that if you went to some road and you asked some people to put on a puppet show box isn't it you know i mean yeah yeah no but yeah but that's different isn't it because you i'm talking about the fact that if you went if you went to some road and you asked some people to put on a puppet show for the benefit of her children that'd be weird but that's sesame street isn't it i mean i don't know what your point is no but watching and getting really excited if two other people are kissing and making it if you went and found pat sharp and you asked him to open up his inflatable house so that some kids of yours could go through there and complete... You know what?

This is actually, I think, the most annoying you've ever been on this podcast. I think they're completely different things. I think people over the age of 35 get excited about other people making out. It's weird. So you don't watch Love Island? Is that what you're saying?

I watch a bit of it. If I watch Are You The One? That's what I'm obsessed with. You know what? I think I'd be more accepting of this little diatribe that you delivered if you hadn't spent the first three months of this podcast raving about married at first sight i mean the hypocrisy is fucking breast it's like willful no that's different that's no no it's not different it's not not different. Not only were you obsessed with the show, you fucking contacted people that had been on it.

Right, listen. Yeah, but if you watch Love Island, you're a fucking voyeuristic pervert. No, I'm just saying, well, I'm looking at the sacrimony of marriage and saying, I hope these guys can make it. Love Island is about like kissing and cuddling and whatever. And then people getting their kicks from that.

I'm seeing if a relationship works on a deeper level. In Married at First Sight. In Married at First Sight Australia, where they pretend to get married at the beginning of the series. That one. Oh, yeah.

And then they engineer people. They don't pretend. And they engineer to... How can you not think they pretend? What was that couple, the really boring couple from the last one, that are really into each other? Jules and...

Jules and Cam. Yeah, Jules and Cam. So if they really got married at the beginning of this series, why the fuck did he propose to her at the end of the series? I fucking never thought about that. I just thought he wanted to do another wedding.

You never thought? I just thought I was so wrapped up and so happy for them both. Did it occur to you? Are these guys... Oh, he's just asked if she'll marry him. Did that not contradict your belief that they were

married in this life? So who was the woman who got them married? It was just a stupid old actress. The one at the top. That was just an actress. Mate, they weren't... They're not really married. At the beginning of that show, they're not really getting married. Are you honestly telling me you don't know this? I thought they were. Yeah. I take it at face face value and i thought that he was just then giving her

the post to her at the end of the series bro to give her the relationship that she has given her marriage that she was already married yeah but he wants to give her a like he's like renewing your vows which we also talked about on another podcast with you. You know, something very satisfying just happened to me, but I felt it silently. No, no, no, no, no, no. So some birds have broken into my loft, right? And I've set up a nest there. Yesterday, a friend of mine and myself covered up their hole so they can't get into the ceiling anymore into my loft anymore. I've just watched the bird fly up to go into my loft and realize that he can't get into the ceiling anymore into my loft anymore and i've just watched the bird fly up to go into my loft and realize that he can't get in because the hole's been closed so he just flew off again i i don't mind you you and your friend blocking that hole up so that the

birds can't get in the idea that you like some sort of super villain just watched out of your window as the bird's flown up there only to be disappointed it really says a lot about you do you know that no no he he is montgomery burns sitting oh come on shan get into the hole you don't gotta do that look let me tell you let tell you, this bird has shat all over my garden. I've been in a running battle with this bird for, I'd say, three months. Right.

And I finally found where he's getting into my house. Yeah. So now... Who is his friend? Huh? Who is his friend? Well, he's got loads of... He's got kids and all sorts up there.

No, no, not him. You, your friend that you got to... Oh, Matt, Matt the builder. Right. So what did you say to Matt? I said I got a hole in my, I actually originally thought I had a nest in my drain pipe. Right.

But, you know, he came around with his ladder. He went up there and said, no, no, you've definitely got a hole in the roof, mate. What did you block it up with? Water. It's very satisfying. I can tell.

That's why I'm laughing because you just seem... It feels like it's like a massive weight off your shoulders. You've got a bit

of swagger in you. I've been out with my Karcher jet washer on my patio more than I should. Like the stones I've taken,

like a fucking layer of skin upon skin off the stones I've taken, like fucking layer, I've put skin upon skin off the stones now. So yeah, I'm now in a place where I know that bird can fuck off and find somewhere else to go.

It's like when you close down like a fucking really rough pub or people do. So yeah, he's gone. How are you feeling in yourself at the moment, by the way?

I feel bad because we've not talked about it. How is your fitness? How's your health going? Why are you asking this? Why have you got a little smile on your face? Have you heard something to suggest that it's not going well? Who would I hear that from? No, I'm just asking you.

No, because I had boxing this morning, so I'm just asking. Oh, I see. Well, actually, I had personal training this morning as well. Did you? Yes, I did. How did it go? What sort of stuff are you doing? What's he got you doing?

Well, I did a little bit on the assault bike. I've got one of those. They're amazing. So, why are they so horrible? They're fucking killers.

What are you doing on it? Are you doing like 10, 20 second things or what? He'll get me, he'll get me like, like do 20 calories then jump off and do some weights, then jump back on, do 20 calories,

then jump off, like a circuit thing. Oh, Jesus. It's horrible. It's truly horrible. Assault bike, like when you start, it's like blowing air into your face and you sort of think, oh, this is quite nice. And then very quickly, you feel like you're going to die.

I try and do it like three or four times a week. Like when you, a lot of people are jumping on the Peloton vibe. I try and do it like three or four times a week. A lot of people are jumping on the peloton vibe. I jumped on the assault bike. What made you steer away from the peloton? Because you got in touch with them and they wouldn't give you a free one? Did you get a free one? No. But I'm not that guy.

I'm not that guy. I'm happy to pay for shit. I just thought they were a lot of money. A lot of commercialism going into it. I'm more of an honest assault bike. You're right. Assault bike is a lot of money um and yeah a lot of commercialism going into it and i actually thought the good i'm more of an honest you're right you're right assault bike is a lot more underground and sort of uh yeah yeah yeah if you've got if you've got if you've got high ethics and moral standards you go for an assault bike yeah yeah yeah no exactly that's what i just thought no that's that's the kind of guy i am yeah no i know and how you do how you doing food wise uh eating actually i had a massive curry last night and i had a curry on saturday night i Yeah, no, I know. And how are you doing food-wise? Eating.

Actually, I had a massive curry last night. And I had a curry on Saturday night. Actually, my eating's been pretty fucking great. Did you make it yourself, or did you get a takeaway? No, I got a takeaway. Both times? I went out on Saturday night after a hell of a round of golf. Shout out to Grove, by the way. Yeah, it looks like you had a lot of fun there.

I mean, I'm fully aware of the fact that you played golf because you shared a lot of it on the old gram, didn't you? You were really... No, I really enjoyed it. Yeah, I can tell you enjoyed it. It was actually quite a tense game in the end between me and Danny Jones from Fly. We were busted.

Yeah. So, yeah, me and him going head-to-head. Shout-out Matt Wilkinson, big fan of the show. So, yeah, it was a really, really good game. I'm looking forward to you. You're going to start playing, aren't you? I've just got my clubs through. Have you been out with them yet?

No, I haven't because... Okay, can I ask a little bit of... This is a bit boring for people that aren't into golf. I want to go to the driving range. Yeah. Do I just turn up there with a couple of clubs and then buy some balls and have a go? Is that how it goes?

You don't turn up there with your full set, do you? Like a dickhead. Yeah, you can turn turn up there with a couple of clubs and then buy some balls and have a go? Is that how it goes? You don't turn up there with your full set, do you? Like a dickhead. Yeah, you can turn up there. I'm going to go tonight.

I'll have my full set. Right. How many balls do you have? If I was you, just take your seven.

No, just get like 50 balls and then hit them. I know what to do once I've got the ball. No, but do you know how to strike

the ball and stuff? Well, I got shown for the show with Rob. Do you remember it? Do you still remember it? I remember it, sort of, yeah. But it's still 50-50 whether I'm going to make contact with the ball or not. Well, you know, the big thing is look at the ball the whole time.

Right. Keep watching the ball. Look at the ball the whole time, straight arm, right? Is that right? Straight arm. Yeah, yeah, that's a bit of a fallacy. what do you mean well keep your eye on the ball is the big thing right always on the ball and then up and that around and just make sure right that you follow your body follow through with it okay yeah how how good do i have to be before i can actually

go out on a course i mean i don't even, I don't even know what club to use when. Yeah, I'm still struggling with that. Look, I'm going to do a shout out now. If you listen to this and you live near Romesh, right, and you can give them some golf lessons, but I'm saying now golf pros, people who know what they're fucking talking about, get in touch, give us an email because you will need lessons. That's the best thing I've done.

Okay. I'll be slightly jealous if you get need lessons that's the best thing I've done okay I'll be slightly jealous if you get free lessons though I'm not after free lessons I'm happy to pay I'm happy to pay yeah I know what you're like you'll put

yeah what do you mean go on finish it actually look I need to shout out something really amazing actually because Romesh has done a pretty special thing

this week what look you are a gentleman always you know you're very close in my heart but but you to get me new tickets for the scotland game i thought was genuinely one of the kindest things that anyone's

ever done for me i genuinely mean that like it's such a sweet thing i wonder if i sort of think to myself you know all this time since lockdown started we've been doing the insta lives and by the way tom knows i'm about to start talking for a while so he's taking his eyes away from the screen i've just dropped because because once somebody else starts talking he's got absolutely no interest even if it's a one-to-one conversation i was juggling a suite and i dropped it you're juggling a suite um yeah it's interesting isn't it because we started doing the insta lives and we talked about I thought I was juggling a suite and I dropped it. You're juggling a suite. Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it? Because we started doing the Insta Lives

and then we talked about, you know, we did the podcast and all of that. And then we saw each other at King Gary, didn't we? We see each other at League of Their Own and stuff. But the only time you've agreed to see me socially is when I've managed to sell out England tickets. Interesting, that, isn't it? But you're off with Danny McFly or whatever,

playing golf, whatever. So you constantly see Instagram, like stories of you just looking down the barrel of the camera on a night out. All that shit. Sorry, Tom got so excited that he almost went over the back of his

yeah I think he generally fell off the back of my chair listen I'm really looking forward

to it I'm looking forward to having a couple of cold ales with you rejoicing

when we beat the Scotland's you know singing I've got this like little fetish

of just the thought of your face when you're singing three lines and you're just really belting it out it's just yeah if if you think i've got that in my locker you're going to

be sadly disappointed do you not sing a football i do shout and stuff i don't know if i would sing three lions oh mate wait till you see me wait till you see me i'm gonna be singing so loud i love the i love as soon as any song goes around the stadium, I try and sing as loud as I can so I can be the loudest. Is that the swan? It's the swan, yes. The swan? Tom heard you there. She's just come back from PT.

Oh, she was just directing the fan at me. Isn't that lovely? What? I know. Your wife has just walked in and put the fan on you. Yeah. Is that the sole reason she came in? No, she's come back from personal training. How's personal training? Lisa has the same personal training as me.

Did he tell you anything about how I did this morning? He said he worked you hard. There you go. He said he worked me hard, and then we started training. I'm wrong. Oh, dear. I'm wrong. Do you feel good from training? Have you got all the sort of, what are they called? Is it sort of adrenaline and amorphins just going through your body?

Amorphins? Yeah. Endorphins? Endorphins. Yeah. Don't just do amorphins. It's not a word. It probably will be.

It'll probably be the correct word. Do you feel like a buzz though? That's what I love about training. I do, yeah, but I tell you the buzz goes away when I see myself. I know this is a bit of a theme. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go by the way? Did you ask about

rebalances? Actually, I'm seeing my by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis.

Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future.

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and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast only six dollars at anw's in ontario experience anw's classic breakfast on now dine in only until 11 a.m it's just i want to look better than i do for that for the hard work you're putting in it's a long ride it's a is a long road. But yeah, I do feel good. I feel much better for it. It's the eating though that gets me, bro.

As you know. Eating and drinking. You can't out-train a bad diet. Wow. Wow. Someone's got a t-shirt on with that

that you know, right? Oh my God. Not that I know. If somebody I knew had a t-shirt like that, it turned up for a night out with a t-shirt like that.

That's our friendship over. What do you make about logo t-shirts? that. He turned up for a night out with a t-shirt like that. That's our friendship over. What do you make about logo t-shirts? Where do you sit with people who have those sort of things on them? What kind of logos? Are you talking about slogans? Slogans or catchphrases? Like my other t-shirts are Ferrari or whatever. Or I'm stupid.

I'll be honest with you. I do make I make a negative judgement about people it's so bad as well because I just think the people who wear those can actually be some of the funniest

and loveliest people you're ever going to meet I've been on stag do's and people have judged the room wrong and worn one of those it's like I'm going to say now

it's like when people think when they see someone in an England football shirt that they're a football hooligan that is completely the wrong fucking self-respecting football hooligan is wearing an england shirt or anything that's england merchandise i'll tell you that now right and i just always like i've been and i actually now i made a real thing of whenever i've been on the stag door i've been on a group of lads and someone turns up with that sort of t-shirt i'll make such an effort with that person because i know for the fact that for the most part the rest of the group has turned on them if you when you think about it the intentions of that that's so pure and so good you know

they're probably putting that t-shirt on thinking do you know what i'm gonna put this on and i'm gonna and i'm gonna make people feel good maybe someone will walk past see that little joke and bring a smile to their face you compare that to people who wear designer t-shirts yeah right and and the desire is is is evil when you put designer t-shirt on because what you're putting what you're doing is you're putting that on to make other people feel... Jealous. Yeah, it's a superiority thing. This is an expensive t-shirt and I've managed to get it.

Listen, I'm making out like t-shirts are much more exclusive than they are. But that is the kind of... That's the thought process, isn't it? It's peacocks and roosters. That's what I say. Peacocks and roosters. Explain it for me.

Well, peacocks are all about, oh, look at me. I've got lovely colour feathers. Yeah, and roosters are quite silly and by their very nature just very willful. Yeah, they can be a bit annoying, but they've actually got the best intentions of getting people up early and making sure people are okay. Okay, the peacock thing I've heard a lot. The rooster thing I've never heard.

Can I just ask, is it possible that you've just freestyled that rooster thing? No, that's what I think of roosters. You think roosters are a bit silly? Not silly. When have you seen a rooster being silly? Whenever I've seen roosters, they're always messing about. They don't take life too seriously, roosters. They're up at 5am. Yeah, because do you know why they get up at five to make sure you get up and other people get

up right so they've got other people's best intentions uh like in in their mind you know they've only got the small i think they've got the second smallest brains out of all the birds is that true yeah but it's them and then chickens chickens have got the smallest brain of any bird yeah I'll tell you now right roosters and chickens

if I was a bird any sort of bird that's what I'd want to be because they've got the smallest brain no because they've just got a good way about them

why have chickens got a good way in what way because they're all I just think they don't take life too seriously of all of the birds well you look at other birds

they're always like fucking on the prowl. They're quite devious. Yeah. They've got quite suspicious eyes about them, right? Yeah. And actually, who's got eyes like a bird?

Yeah. Suspicious eyes. David Beckham. David Beckham's got suspicious eyes like a bird. Like a bird. If you look at his eyes, his eyes are very much suspicious and, yeah, like a bird.

Right? When you were doing your PT this morning, did you drop some NDMA? No. Right. I'm just saying now, right, that when you look... Right. You name me what bird you want to be. And don't say an owl, because obviously we know that.

Okay, let me just say something. I don't... You're assuming that everybody wants to be some type of bird. No. That's the first thing. Secondly, you've just said chickens are what? You like chickens more than any other bird because they're not suspicious and they don't take life too seriously.

And they are easily the most slaughtered and eaten bird in the whole of the fucking world. So, you know, that's where their lack of suspicion has got them. No, right. All right. You love chickens. And I reckon at a rough estimate estimate you eat 27 of them a week I would say.

Right, listen. No, I'd want to be a chicken. Are they somebody who loves them? I'd want to be a chicken who lives with a nice farmer. Go on, go, go, go. You know like Babe? The pig, Babe.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because that got Gizzo in the end. That was more than a pet for him. It was like his best friend. Would you rather be a chicken than a pig? Yeah, all day long. Why? I just think pigs are just stupid.

I don't know. You just said chickens have got the smallest brain of any bird. No, but pigs are just a bit devious and nasty by nature. They eat humans. I will tell you now, mate, if there's any animal in this world that fucking revolts against us it'll be fucking pigs why the ones that you don't see coming because they're so they're intelligent and they can eat humans you said they're stupid

no they're stupid like there was i didn't mean stupid as intelligence wise right what do you mean stupid i just don't like them as they just i mean i met him like an eight-year-old says stupid like yeah yeah yeah like like you know like like a kid but pigs mate is i would say now everyone's worried about no you know fucking like when you know the film about gorillas and stuff and all that you know when they take over the world no no no no listen yeah people enjoy the film but nobody's worried about that. Nobody watched the film going, oh, that's a horrible prophecy for what might happen.

It's just a film. The trouble is, yeah, but no one thought about this pandemic and thought, oh, this could happen. You don't know, mate. That's the trouble. Like, anything could happen. That's what we've got to get our heads around

when it comes to society and the future. Okay. And everyone's got their eye on, like, sort of, like, lions and gorillas and stuff. I'll tell you that. Nobody's got their eye... like sort of like lions and gorillas and stuff nobody's got nobody's got their eye listen this is what i don't nobody's got their eye on lions and gorillas if any gorillas and lions are both like pretty much endangered animals yeah who isn't endangered animal who isn't pigs what's that what's your point i would say now that pigs are the ones that we have to watch more than anything else what do you think might happen well because they're intelligent so they've

got a good understanding of humanity and they can eat a human in like something like four hours yeah whereas whereas humans famously never eat pigs it's such fucking human privilege to be talking about a pig and can go for a human in four hours as if bacon isn't the most fucking popular meat on the planet i'm just saying we just it's just worth keeping like one eye on them like if you want yeah i think that anyway that's that's that's anyway, that's where I am with animals. Okay. And how's your weight?

It's well hydrated, bro. No, let me tell you, by the way, I found, I can't remember what it's called. At golf the other day, I was introduced to another protein drink, which was absolutely delicious. It was lemon and lime flavor. I can't remember what it's called, but it was so thirst-quenching. It was unbelievable. Well, what was absolutely delicious. Lemon and lime flavor. I can't remember what it's called. It was so thirst-quenching. Unbelievable. What a great recommendation.

If you look out for... Guys, a little tip for you there. If you can find some random lemon and lime drink that Tom was given at the golf the other day, maybe you two can have the same experience that Tom did. Thank you so much. I will find out his name. Also, while we're here, a lot of people have been getting in touch

about the underpants that we were talking about. So it's Under Armour. So Under Armour's been getting a lot of shouts. Also, sacks. I've had a few messages from people saying they also enjoy sacks. How are you finding the sacks, by the way? They're nice and the balls, right?

Yeah, why are you saying that? I'm just saying how you're finding them. Yeah, they're nice in my balls, yeah. What the hell was that? What? What? No, I'm just thinking about upgrading to a pair of sacks.

Okay. And then Oddballs is the other one that's been recommended. I've never tried Oddballs. What's Oddballs? What do they do? Underwear? No, no, no. But, right, sacks are incredible because they've got this fucking hammock for your balls, right?

Yeah. Apparently, Oddballs are really comfortable around the twig and berries as well. The twig and berries? What else is? What else is, boy? Yeah, I might just... I'm going to give a little test drive to the sacks you know okay

should we do some underwear do you know what actually before I get into this do you know what we're guilty of on this podcast I've noticed this from the MS we are very guilty of saying we're going to do stuff and then never mention it again or doing it for example the scat special

the married at first sight special. The running race that you bloused out of. The running race, right? Yeah. The confirming the live dates. All of this stuff, we keep setting up.

So now, I was about to set up something else there, but then I thought, are we, but I was going to suggest we do underwear reviews. Should we do a couple

of underwear reviews? Yeah, I think some underwear, yeah, let's do some underwear reviews. It'd be good to make, it'd be great if we could get our hands on some new underwear for Friday. Cause we'd be together then. Okay. But I don't,

I don't want to meet you on Friday knowing that we're wearing this underwear that we're going to review. Cause also being at the football with you, absolutely no doubt. You will start telling people we're wearing the same boxer shorts. Should we dress a lot, by the way? Are you wearing England? Are you wearing England? Oh, yeah, I'm wearing an England shirt.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going straight to the game from home? No, no, no, no, no. I've got a meeting. Right. So you're going to wear England stuff for the meeting? No, no, no. No, I'm not.

I'm not wearing an England shirt to a fucking important meeting. Can you imagine? I'm going to wear some sort of safe top. I'll have that on and then everything else, we'll be at the change well and then it was just, yeah, the England top will go on. We had a nice little tech session during the game, didn't we? What did you think of the England game?

It was good. I thought Calvin Phillips looked great. You know what? I think it was a good, solid result. It could have got easy going. I didn't think they were great, think of the England game? It was good. I thought Calvin Phillips looked great. You know what I think it was a good solid result. It could have got easy going. I didn't think they

were great but it could have gone the other way. I think Czechoslovakia are going to be the hardest game in that group. They look good.

I can't see us losing to Scotland. Scotland's always going to be difficult because it's a rivalry there and they're going to be pumped up for it

maybe more than we are. I think that'll be a blinding game. I'm just looking forward to just really shouting loud. I've never been to the football. It just suddenly occurred to me. I've never been to the football with you. Why would I? Because we don't support the same team.

Well, you know what? We're going to football and rugby within two weeks of it. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But what are you, how loud are you at the football? I go up and down. It depends on what the result is. I can get quite, quite... Do you swear? Yeah, up and down. It depends on what the result is. I can get quite... Do you swear? Yeah. I can hold fish made.

Fish wife? Yeah. A fish made... A fish made sounds like a maid who sort of tends to the needs of fish. A little bit of mackerel with his own maid, isn't it? Yeah, but just like when we were at the football together,

just reel it in a bit. Wow, look at you with the old fish pun. What? Oh, shit, that wasn't deliberate. No, no, no. I know that we'll have nice seats, so yeah. We won't have to sit two seats away from each other, will we? No, I don't think so.

But I think it is spread out. I sort of find that spread out stuff, spread out stuff. But you know, like, at the football, when you look in the stands and they're all spread out like that, it looks more raucous than if it was packed, doesn't it? Yeah. Because they're all sort of all over the shop, aren't they? Yeah.

It just sort of, it looks pretty mad. The really sad moment in the game where like everyone was really celebrating and there was just one old guy on his own. I felt really sorry for him. Do you know, do you know sometimes,

I've had it happen less to me recently, but every now and again I will see somebody in a difficult situation or their face looks a bit sad when they're doing something

or, you know, you drive past somebody and people are in an argument and one of them looks really sort of like they're getting the worst of it. And that person's face will stay with me for a long time. Like, I'll be really upset about wondering how they are. Like, do you ever have that? Do you know what I'm talking about? I keep thinking about that guy at the England game. Oh, mate, it's horrible.

Where we scored and all these guys had sort of come together and sort of like, you know, just like, guys had sort of come together and sort of like yeah just like oh we're all going to sort of like stand next to each other and celebrate right

and he just sort of went he looked around and sort of sort of smiled at them and it was just a really it was quite a sad sobering moment

just thinking he didn't have the confidence to run over and sort of hug everyone I did feel for him I was on a bus once and a bloke got on

with loads of shopping and he said, does this go to wherever? I can't remember where it's going. And the guy goes, no, that's the next one. And he looked so dejected

that the bus wasn't going where he wanted it to go. He probably had ice cream, didn't he? Yeah. Silly bus has bought a Viennet or a Notchette, which bus goes to his house. probably had ice cream, didn't he? Yeah, silly boss has bought a Viennet or a Notchette which bus goes

to his house. But honestly, man, I couldn't get rid of his face the whole day, man. Really?

Like, even as I'm telling you this story, this is years ago. Can you still see his face? Yeah. Mate,

horrible. Horrible. It's a really sad thing, isn't it? I used to have it when I was a kid, like, I remember the Garfield movie. I don't like that. It's a really, really sad thing, isn't it? I used to have it when I was a kid. I remember the Garfield movie. I can't believe I'm getting into this level of detail now.

But there's a bit where Odie gets taken away. And when I was a kid, for a long time, this is really sad. No wonder I got bullied. Every time I think about that bit from the Garfield film, I start crying. He says, Christ, really? That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

Well, you'd actually cry out loud at school and stuff. Well, I try not to think about it at school because what my level of popularity didn't need was me just crying at the fucking whim. It's so hard, though, isn't it? We used to have a boy like that. Maybe he was like you. But he moved from another school

when he came to our school and he'd sometimes just start crying in the middle of class his hands would go blue his hands would go blue yeah he looked a bit like

a Dickens type character and you know the worst thing I was in the bottom classes for everything he got put in our class because he was actually very intelligent but he just got put

in our classes for some reason I think because he was just so shy. It didn't really work out very well for him, bless him. We all liked him. He was quite a little character in his own way. It always made me think a bit of

Andy Dufresne in Shawshank Redemption. The way that he came in. He sort of just... I wonder what ever happened to him. Actually, it'd probably be quite easy to find him actually on Facebook. Yeah,

it would be. I mean, I mean, it's quite a sad story, but what's clear from this is in the 30 years since you've been at school, you haven't bothered to look him up. So I never even thought about him until you sort of started talking about you. I just remember him sort of sometimes whimpering in the middle of the,

like, yeah. I know you just go, I mean, yeah. What... Oh, gosh. Yeah. And then you just go, you know, what's up and all that. And then, yeah. He used to have really, really basic packed lunches as well. Oh, God, Tom, can you stop? What? I'm just saying.

No, because I'm starting to feel for this gazer now. Yeah, yeah. If you could see... I can see him in my mind's eye now. Mm. Yeah. The hands going blue thing actually sounds like a medical problem Did they do anything about that?

I don't know He really He'd speak now and again He'd speak in a bit of a whisper Tom, did you have a ghost come to join you at your school? No

I remember his mum was deaf, but he spoke in a whisper which i always found quite confusing this is true right there was a boy in my class right who um he said he said he'd seen a ghost he told everyone he'd seen a ghost right and then about three or four days later, he came in and he was like, I actually wasn't a ghost. It was one of the old guys. It was an old man who was like three doors away,

and he crept into my bedroom. What? You know, in flats, you get the flat roofs. Yeah. He managed to sort of creep along the flat roofs. Yeah. It was like in the summer. And you found that funny, did you?

No, I didn't. It was fucking dark. But I just thought it was weird that he thought at first it was like in the summer yeah and you found that funny did you it was fucking dark but i just thought it was weird that he thought at first it was a ghost because it like he opened his eyes the man was dead and the man ran off he thought it was a ghost but i was like sure yeah and he told everyone in school it was a ghost oh god okay that's really sad jesus i wish i hadn't told any of that. No, I'm trying to make you feel better. What? It's such a sad, horrible story. No, man. Oh, God.

What I'm trying to say is, everyone goes through shit at school. It's just you we all go through it yeah yeah sure in today's economy saving money is like an extreme sport coupon Promo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime. All starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less.

The Happy Stack. Only at Kudo. Conditions apply. You know, actually, just quickly, one bit, used to always make me cry in the Transformers, the cartoon movie, when Bumblebee died. Oh my god. On that moon? Yeah. Actually, just really mean. Were you not bothered when Optimus Prime died? A my God. On that moon? Yeah.

Actually, just room. Were you not bothered when Optimus Prime died? A little bit. Not as much. I think, you know, in a way, he sort of had probably a better life than Bumblebee did.

Sort of did everything he needed to do. Stationed out on that moon satellite with Buster Witwicky. Absolute nightmare. I'm going to watch that old cartoon a little later today

actually you know the story of that film so like they killed Optimus Prime they killed Bumblebee the whole reason for that was that they just

wanted to bring out the new generation of toys oh really yeah yeah that was the whole reason the reason they did the movie

kill off a load of these Transformers then we could bring out some new ones they didn't realise how emotionally devastating everyone would find Optimus Prime dying though

because like he was the Autobots right so and then that horrific scene where he just basically gets murked yeah

weird scene with hot rod fishing yeah I don't know if I really I used to love that I used to like Mask as well oh yeah Mask Crusaders I didn't know I didn't cry I used to love that. I used to like Mask as well. Oh, yeah. Mask Crusaders. Fighting crime.

The mission. The supervision. Mask Crusaders. Yeah. Man. Do you know, after I got into, I was too old really, but I got really into Ninja Turtles and then Bucky O'Hare. And that was sort of- Bucky, Captain Bucky O'Hare.

That was like, that was at a time where you should have- Bucky O'Hare was shit. Bucky was shit. Yeah, it was awful. They were running out of ideas there. Ninja Turtles, great. Yeah. Yeah. Bucky O'Hare. That's one of my ambitions out of ideas there. Ninja Turtles. Great. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. That's one of my ambitions to sort of do a Ninja Turtle movie. As what? Do one of the voices. We could be Bebop and Rocksteady. That would be fucking sick, wouldn't it? That would be super sick. Or we could just do the voices for all the turtles.

Yeah. Love that. Yeah, that would be amazing. Hey, dude. Cowbunger, man. Splitter says we've got to concentrate. Yeah, you can never concentrate. You're just an idiot, Michelangelo.

Oh, my God. It's Shredder. My name's Shredder. I'm crying. I'm going to defeat her, Linde Taro. We used to have a teacher actually talking about school, and I was ****, and we all called her Splinter because she looked like funeral in the town. We used to have a teacher actually talking about school, and I was ****, and we all called her Splinter because she looked like Splinter the rat.

Okay, okay. What a horrible, horrible story where you've named the person involved. Oh, God. oh my god oh my god okay right you want to do some emails? Yeah. Yeah, go on. Okay. So this is anonymous. Dear Wolf, Owl and the Swan, a few weeks ago you spoke a bit about your experiences

of childhood bullying. It was so nice to hear about two successful men who at school were not so successful in the social contest, talking about their experiences. I also feel this is a feminist issue, and if I can help another young woman who's struggling to fully relax, I would feel that my job is done. The incident.

I'd recently joined a new school, which was seen as the closest thing to a private school in the area, which you didn't have to pay for. Coming from another rougher East London secondary school, I felt the need to fit in. Unfortunately, in my second year of being there, year eight,

there was an incident that ruined all chances of that. In one French class, while sitting next to a few girls that were nice enough to talk to me i felt a sneeze coming on not having the time to think about it or check in with the status of the rest of my body i sneezed and the next thing i remember hearing was the whole class erupting laughter i opened my eyes to see everyone staring at me and i realized they had sneezed and let out one of the loudest farts i'd ever done i saw my teenage life flash before my eyes. One friend next to me said, I think you just combusted, didn't you?

And it didn't help that the teacher said, well, that was loud for a small girl. Unfortunately, some knob in my class decided to invent a new song. Dodo did a fart in French. It was really loud. That was a song. Terrified of this song,

I hid at every opportunity. I also gave up with makeup for a year, along with believing that any boy would fancy me after that. But this story of bullying has a happy ending. I met a good bunch of weird friends in year 10 and enjoyed school. I'm now working in mental health, hoping to become a CBT therapist, and I'm with a guy who doesn't mind when I fart. He farts too.

He still appears to find me sexy. We often laugh at how surprising mine can be. Bottom line, farting is a feminist issue. Women can still be sexy and relax their bum. Spread the word and your chicks. Let me just say something,

anonymous. No, I'm going to tell you now. I think that the truest, happiest moment in any relationship is when you both fart in front of each other. I think that's...

I don't... I don't think... I think, yeah, you can tell someone you love them and it might mean it, it might not. I think you can get married, you can da-da-da. I think the very moment that someone farts in front of you

or you fart in front of them is the moment you're completely relaxed with the person you're with and you can turn around and go, you know what? This is the person I'm with the rest of my life. I genuinely believe that. I think it's a very big moment. And I've got friends and I say, you know what? I say they're friends. I look at them them and i think you're not that happy i've got people i know who say oh yeah yeah

well you know my missus doesn't fight in front of me or i don't fight in front of my missus yeah and i look at them and think how can you fucking do that that's not a relationship it's everyone fucking does it so what you've both got to leave the room i think it's fucking hilarious when it happens it's just a part of life. And also let me say, let me say as well, anonymous, and I wish that we could call you by your name because you sound like an absolute legend

of a human being, is that I think, you know, at school, those moments, I had so many of those moments where things, you know,

I embarrassed myself one way or another and you think that's the end. And even as an adult, that's, you know, but all of those things basically, you know, make you the human being you are. So I think roll on the fact that big fits,

that big sneeze and that big fart, it sort of, it took you above anyone else in the class and made you somebody, so. No, but farting, I mean, there's two different issues here. Farting in front of your other half, I'm totally in favour of and in fact would encourage and support. Farting in front of your other half i'm totally in favor of and in fact would encourage and support uh farting in front of your class at school remember on the set of king gary where i had really bad wind yeah i remember it it's called i call it every day of filming that day in the woods oh my god God. Oh my God, that was awful.

We had to share that little port-a-cabin together. Oh. In a port-a-cabin, which had, what, 20 minutes of air in it, at best. You don't even leave the fucking, you don't even leave the cabin to fuck. You know, number one, it's really cold outside.

And number two, right, I made a mistake there because I tried to over-egg the poop. Like, I should have just had meat. I ended up having falafel or something to sort of sit with you and have something vegetarian because I sort of like was like, Don't pin it on me. Don't blame it on me. And it really fucking, something just didn't click with me.

You know what the problem is? It's not only rude to me. It's also then having to watch every member of production who opens the door and has to pretend they've not been physically knocked back

by a wall of fucking stench. Just pretending they've not had an actual visceral reaction to opening the door. I couldn't help it. There were so many of them. By the end of it, I've got to say that's one of the worst fart displays I't help it. But no, there were so many of them. By the end of it, I just,

yeah, I've got to say that's one of the worst fart displays I've ever had. Yeah. And he does, and listen, Tom's a very,

very experienced fart displayer. Some people do slideshows, but Tom will often just invite people around and put on a fart display. Oh, anyway, she's, she's, people around and put on a fart display. Anyway, she's called herself the squirrel.

So there you go, squirrel. Thank you for your email. I'm glad you found love. I'd actually love to sit with those two and just chat and have a couple of beers and a couple of farts with those guys. Yeah, that'd be delightful. Can you imagine if you met up with another couple and all of you became comfortable enough to just all four of you just start fencing?

You know what, farting could just be like, you know, like gentlemen in films will go outside and have like a glass of sort of sherry and like a cigar. Yeah. I always think it'd be quite nice to sort of like after a really big meal, just go and have like sort of, you know, some sort of like nice drink and then just sort of stand outside and just let out a couple of big farts. That'd be so nice, wouldn't it? Because you have to hold them in like when you're at a nice restaurant, you're not allowed and just let out a couple of big farts. That'd be so nice, wouldn't it? Because you have to hold them in when you're at a nice restaurant.

You're not allowed to just fart in a nice restaurant. No. Yeah. I would sort of say that sort of openly farting is frowned upon in any restaurant. I've never gone anywhere. I thought this restaurant is about the level that you can probably fart in like TGI Fridays

you can probably let out a little fart right but I'm saying that if it's a like if it's a really ritzy place you'd feel really conscious about having a

you know even letting out a little silent fart but it'd be just quite nice if you could turn around to the waiter and say, excuse me, can I have a drink set out to the rooftop? I'm just going to go out there and let out a fart. And then you'd just walk out and there'd be other people and everyone would be farting.

And you'd just be, oh, good evening, how was your food? Oh, it was lovely. Yeah. Yeah, but people are eating, Tom. No, but you're not in the restaurant doing that you go into like an outdoor space or another like a like a farting area yeah you have a smoking area you have like a farting area well they're pretty far apart from each other i'd say well yeah i mean obviously you'd have to now because of social distancing i don't think

everyone would be out there at once you'd probably like if you'd have to now because of social distancing. I don't think everyone would be out there at once. You'd probably like, you'd have like, say in the place you have... What would you do? But imagine that is set up. And then, like, you can even make eye contact with people. Everybody knows they've come out there to fart. I think the first couple of times you wouldn't be able to. But then once you sort of went to enough places that had fart, fart layout places, you'd sort of just go, you know,

let out a little fart, sort of smile, sort of just go, you know, let out a little fart, sort of smile, sort of drink your brandy or whatever you have in like your sort of coffee and then just go back inside. Okay. Are you genuinely putting this forward

as an idea? Yeah, I think it could work. I'm not saying every restaurant would have it. I just think it's sort of places that, yeah, I think could be quite a nice sort of place. I think we just need to be

less embarrassed about farting. Yeah, okay. There's being less embarrassed and there's dedicating a room to it at a restaurant. You'd have a smoking space there, right? And then you'd be there having a fag and I'd walk past and go, hello mate, I'm just off for a fart.

And I'd just go down to the farting space. You're the sort of guy that would announce it. I disagree. I'm just going to say that I disagree. You're the sort of guy that would announce it. I disagree. I'm just going to say that I disagree. Well, maybe there should be a poll. How many people think there should be a little fart area? Somebody said to me that rather than getting people to email in, we should do an Instagram poll.

Okay. So can we, on Wednesday, I'll put the poll up on the old stories. Should there be a farting chamber? Yeah. Or just an outdoor space. And anyone who wants to draw up plans of how it could work. Just email in your plans. What plans?

You know, like, if we've got any surveyors or architects. Why do you need a surveyor for an outdoor space? No. Someone might have an idea of how it might look like, you know. OK. We've got some very talented people listening to this podcast. It would be quite interesting. I imagine, though, just off the top of the top mate it would look a lot like outside

with like a fence around it yeah exactly but it's a what sort of fence would you have pagoda out there you know some chairs some people can't fart standing up so okay uh another email yes sir uh good morning to the swan wolf and al this is anonymous Another email? Yes, sir. Good morning to the swan, wolf and owl. This is anonymous. I'd appreciate if I could stay anonymous. Yeah.

I wonder if you could offer me some of your words of wisdom. I've been with my partner for around nine years. And before his relationship with me, he was married. And I have a lovely daughter who I get on well with. I wasn't involved in the relationship breakdown and met him around 18 months after they'd split my issue is with his mother who has remained extremely close with his ex-wife generally i don't mind this nor let it bother me too much but recently things have escalated whereas mama started referring to the ex as her daughter-in-law in front of me and tagging my partner and his ex-wife in old family photos online where the ex and his mom

proceed to reminisce about the good old days knowing full well that i can see these comments the final straw is that my partner's auntie is having a birthday party later in the year and his mom has taken it upon herself to invite the ex without consulting my partner or considering how i might feel about this my boyfriend is also not pleased with the situation but does not have the balls to address it uh her wording not mine with his mom as she can be very dramatic and highly strung just tiptoes around her and buries his head in the sand, hoping it goes away. His daughter is a teenager now, so there's not really much excuse for the ex's heavy involvement. And if I'm honest, I think she enjoys having this hold on his family over me, particularly if she wasn't the one to end the marriage.

I have no choice but to stand my ground. And I've now said I'm not going to attend the party if the ex is there. But the whole situation has started to cause tension in an otherwise happy relationship. I can take your brutal honesty. So from an outsider's perspective am i being unreasonable i don't feel like i am but sometimes question myself when my boyfriend plays it down so much any advice on how to deal with the situation i'm not sure how much more i can take much love to all uh thank you um tommy do you want me to go first or are you happy to go first? Well, I'm happy to go first. I'm happy to say I do not think you are at all.

There's any, yeah, this is a massive problem and I don't think you are making anything, a big deal out of it at all. I think it's a difficult one. I think, firstly, I think it's always quite a, I don't know the relationship between Lisa and your mother. I always think it's the relationship between lisa and your mother i always think it's it's a the relationship between your wife and your mum is is a it's a beautiful one it can be a very

happy one it's a you know but there's always going to be different i think that any in-laws there's going to be because it's coming together two families it's coming you know there's always going to be an element of friction there's always going to be an element of this is how we do things this is how you do things i think as well with sons and mothers i think for me i think sons are often quite scared i know at times not scared but i i i don't i i sometimes worry about saying certain things to my mom because i don't want to upset her or i don't want you know, for her to ever feel that I'm being, you know, out of order or make her feel anything but, you know, but happy. But sometimes I think, you know, as a man, you do need to stand up

and have an actual, and it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to come from an aggressive place. It doesn't have to come from an argumentative place. I think, you know, you say your sort of mother-in-law is dramatic and stuff, and maybe she, maybe in a sense she wants this sort of, not argument, but she sort of needs this, she needs someone to say something. I think the fact of the matter is if it started causing eruptions within your life and your boyfriend's life,

I think you're going to have to say something. Well, he needs to step up, really. He needs to step up and say that this isn't on. I think it's fine to have a relationship with the mother of his child. I think that's fine. It's quite nice that she does. I think sometimes in relationships, people can just move on quite quickly and forget about people.

I think that's in itself quite a sad thing. But I don't think your relationship, and if you've been with someone for nine years should be compromised by the fact uh of her doing that it all feels quite it all feels a bit mean-spirited really and it feels like your feelings aren't being taken into account and actually the truth of the matter is um you know you yeah i think he needs to say something you need to tell him that this this isn't you making a a fuss out of nothing and um yeah it sort of it could have a lot yeah it could have sort of the worst kind of sort of repercussions if he doesn't do something about it so um yeah i i totally feel you and um i i think it's it's up to

him to stand up and in in the you know i don't mean this in a It's time for him to step up and be a man. Romesh. Yeah, I partially agree with Tom. I agree with all of his sentiments. And I also don't think you're being unreasonable. However, what I would say is you can choose to not be upset about this at all. And actually, I think... think listen i don't know from i only know the details that you've given here but the ex is probably enjoying this um your boyfriend's mum may be playing some sort of game i don't know or maybe enjoying it as well

people like doing things like that but the only reason it's affecting you and i know this sounds a bit patronizing is because you're sort of choosing to let it the fact of the matter is is that you're in a solid relationship in a great relationship from what you said in this email and this is the only sort of niggle so you can actually just make the decision for this not to bother you it's not like your boyfriend's going to get back with his ex he's in a solid relationship with you you guys have moved on from this if your ex decides to still be around and still be doing this and for them for for his mum to be tagging him in photos it's out of order and i agree with tom your boyfriend needs to sort of address that with her but you can choose to stop being upset by this immediately you can just decide

i'm not bothered by this i'm in a solid relationship this doesn't affect me at all like now click your fingers it's gone that feeling's gone do you mean so listen i think it's a combination of your boyfriend having to take some action but also you can stop being upset by this whenever you decide to you know and i don't mean that in a way of saying that you're overreacting or anything. I just think that his mum and his ex can only have this sort of power over you as long as you allow them to. And you can

just decide that it ain't going to affect you anymore. And as soon as you decide that, you're going to be a lot happier. In my opinion. I might be completely wrong. I hope that the wolf... That was a really nice smile at the end. That was a really sweet smile. Thanks. I just thought... I don't know what... I think if Anonymous could have seen that sweet, sweet smile

then it would have made her feel a little better. But yeah, good luck. We wish you well. Please get in touch and let us know what happened. It's always good to know. Would you like one more email? Yes, hit us up.

Okay. This is from the self-appointed Bear. Hello, Wolf, Owl and the Swan. First, can I shout about the pod? It's my favourite out there and I love you both. Anyway, I need your help. I'm a self-employed roofer from Leeds with a beautiful wife, baby worth 18 months old and a baby on the way.

Unfortunately, for the past year or so, my wife has been absolutely horrible to me every day often asking for a divorce and usually ending up with me sleeping on the sofa or something sometimes having to get a hotel and often telling me i'm not a good dad i appreciate it's either pregnant or a new mom doing all this but it's really starting to get to me mentally but months i've taken it on the chin moved on because i appreciate that the hormones are all over the place at this time and i've been hoping that as long as i get through this current nine months things will change back to how they were tried a million times to approach and explain i'm struggling with their attitude towards me now the stress of everything isn't exactly safe for me to go to work with and i'm

only the only breadwinner but when i bring up stuff she says i'm going on about myself continues on the path of destroying me i work hard often six seven days a week and i try to finish work early so i can get the chance to see both my wife and son every day. I'm not sure if this is just me not having enough patience or what. Any help, lads? Well, firstly, I think, you know, a frank and honest conversation in this situation is the best

thing that you could possibly do, if I'm honest with you, mate. I think, you know, this, I think the pandemic has been awfully tough on just about everyone, and I think especially sort of And I think especially as well people with young children, people with newborns, I think it's even harder in a sense because you're quite lonely and you can feel quite ostracised. And I think whether your wife is going through a time where she's feeling quite a lot of those things.

I think a lot of the time when, anyway, in my experience, when people are acting like that, it's usually something that in themselves, they've got some sort of anxiety or they've got something that they're upset about. And usually I'll take that out on the person closest to them. And that's probably what's happened here. I'll take that out on the person closest to them and that's probably what's happened here. You know, it is difficult because, you know, sleeping on the sofa is not great, sleeping in a hotel isn't great, and especially if you feel like you've not done anything and you're being as true and as honest as you can. I think it is, I would say one of the best things that you can do

is look at a way maybe of talking to a therapist or talking to someone that you can actually you can both go together and speak speak i think having a third person that helps so much when you go through anything in a relationship i i it's one of the best things i've ever done we've me and catherine have ever done is sat and chatted to someone else about things that we've both found in our lives and i think it's it's worth it's worth spending that little bit of money and spending that time to sort of, because you will break through and you will find out actually what's causing all this.

So, yeah, that would be my advice in this situation. I agree with Tom. I think that, look, it might be that she's feeling like this because of the stress of being a mum. And, you know, there's all sorts of, there's all sorts of mental issues that come with having kids and having young children and being pregnant. So you need to sort of get to the bottom of that.

And I would suggest some sort of help, you know, approach it calmly. Try and, try and distance yourself from having a reaction to how she's talking to you and try and get to the bottom of whether she really feels like that or she's just taking out the stress of the situation on you and yeah as tom said get some help um yeah i i would i would urge you to do that as soon as possible uh so bear listen i hope that helps mate uh good go good go and do you bear you're a G man you're a G and I wish you the best of luck with it all okay Tom well look that is the hour

thank you so much for joining me today thank you thank you for thank you for obtaining me today and letting me sit alongside you

super weird super weird what I would love you to do just to bring the podcast to a close, is give us one of your trademark life lessons brought to us through the means of a poorly thought out analogy.

Thank you very much. Okay. Who is it who every morning wakes up as dawn breaks and the sun peers its weary eyes across the earth who is it who slowly tracks away through street upon street just to deliver a newspaper through a letterbox it's a sad and it's a lonely paper boy and yeah as the world moves on and as we we go into an environment where we we rely on computers and we rely on the internet to give us news just cast your mind back to a time when this little guy was the most important person in anyone's life because you wouldn't know what was going on

if it wasn't for a paper boy and you think of all the amazing people out there now who once upon a time were paperboys. Sometimes we get caught up in making this world spin that little bit faster and we forget about some of the actual sweetest and most amazing things that made this land a country and made this country great. And for me, one of the forbearers of this was the sweet innocent paper boy and i only say this because uh this morning on my run back from the gym i saw a paper boy and he was standing there with a broken chain on his bike and he i said to him you know i tried to fix his bike for anyway it's not part

of the analogy i tried to fix his bike couldn't and i had to be here for 10 so i had to say look best of luck oh you yeah but it did make me think that i was a paper boy once and in my mind's eyes i thought i rode the highs i rode the blues as i delivered your daily news. Being a paperboy is like most things. It's sacred and we need them. So remember next time you're opening and you're eating your cornflakes and you open your door, I want you to shout out Scott, Jim, Bill, whatever your paperboy's name is and just say thank you. Actually, thank everyone. Because remember, although the world turns, it's us who make it spin. That really was remarkable for a number of reasons.

Thank you. Thank you so much for that, Tom. How do you feel that one went? You know what? In my head, it was going to go a lot better. But I've got to say, I was slightly slightly thrown by the last letter which was a very deep one i was thinking about that and then i was just thinking about that paper boy he just cropped into my mind so i thought actually i thought you were going to celebrate the rooster actually yeah but

then i did an analogy about the rooster earlier so yeah i just think actually i was going to go you know what sometimes these go really really well really well. But I do mean that. I do hope that everyone, just for like 35, 40 seconds, just think about Paper Boys today. Oh, that reminds me. On the bonus episode, we need to get, a lot of people have done their thanking their delivery driver thing. So we're going to place some of those onto the bonus episode. Oof, I'm looking forward to that.

Pour some gravy on that, yo. Tommy. Because I'm about done. Tom, thank you so much. Thank you. We're going to end this episode, and then Tom and I are going to do a couple of adverts. Keep it real and keep it easy.

By the way, just while we're on the subject of that, somebody got in touch with me to complain about one of the adverts. Which one? The Samsung one. Okay. Saying what? Saying that he found it annoying um i was gonna read it out i can't be bothered anyway listen mate it's a free podcast go fuck yourself see you later if you have a problem, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.