Wolf and Owl - Episode 30

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

We’re talking… Tom’s technical meltdown, Euro predictions, vegan shoes, rugby challenges and a startling lack of holiday romance success. And if all that wasn’t enough, we then answer some email questions about Ed Sheeran, life changes since lockdown and tips for looking after a bald head. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh-sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham.

We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly pil pepperoni sensationally sliced salami so you can lunch legendary dinner deliciously breakfast brilliantly we're talking friggin fresh slicing and i'm yelling yes way get a six inch black forest ham for only $4.99 only at subway price and participation may vary extras taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Robo code searching. It takes skill.

Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime, all starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo.

Conditions apply. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheeps clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all your ears are huff a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it

the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog yo i hope you're ready. Are your ears ready? Is your heart ready? Is your soul ready? Because this... Get on your fucking feet. It's time for the Wolf and Owl podcast up in this bitch. Now blow your horns.

Yo, if you're walking, turn that walking to a run. If you're sitting, turn that sitting to a stand. Yo, if you're just watching TV, turn the TV off because this is the Wolf and Owl. This is not to be listened to passively. Get on your feet just watch your TV, turn the TV off because this is The Wolf and Owl. This is not to be listened to passively. Get on your feet. Get your hands in the air.

It's time for The Wolf and Owl podcast. Yeah, peace. That's my favourite intro ever. It's good, isn't it? Although I did swear quite loudly and the kids were

getting ready for school and stuff. What is the score of your kids? Are you swearing in front of them at the moment? No, I'm trying not to

but I have done. Everyone, sorry, I'm just going to jump in here because there's quite a big thing going on at Romesh's house at the moment. Lisa has lost his pair of jeans. No, let me tell you what happens. Lisa is very,

very tidy. Incredibly tidy. To the point where I would argue she has a slight problem okay and lisa sees me as subhuman in terms of my level of tidiness and just kind of living so we are i would describe us as on the surface completely incompatible to live together and enjoy life together i think it's the best way to be though why is it the best because i can see how it's the best way for me because i put stuff anywhere and lisa tied as it were for her it's the best way to be, though. Why is it the best? Because I can see how it's the best way for me because I put stuff anywhere and Lisa Tidy's away.

For her, it's a life of agony. No, but I think you've probably, your sort of muckiness has probably quelled her down. Like your sort of like bad hygiene. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is absolute. What are we? Two minutes in,

we're into classic Tom Davis territory here. I haven't said anything about hygiene, right? I thought, as soon as he said muckiness, I knew, here we go, he's going in two-footed here, right? I didn't say muckiness. I'm talking about tidiness, all right? Just so you know, guys,

you won't be able to see this. Tom's so excited about how he's insulted me, his glasses are steaming up. It's really hot in the room i mean she's found them guys this one has found the jeans yes yes boy i know how much you love those jeans she had put them away so she had put them away um so anyway the the long and the short of it is is lisa oh charlie's in the oh the kids are in the room i'm'm doing a podcast. Do you want to say hello? Just shout hello. Hello! Yeah, boys.

Hello. He can't see you because you're not on the camera. Hello. Hello, mate. Who have we got here? He can't hear you. This is Charlie. Yes, Charlie.

My name's Charlie. Hello, Charlie. Okay, great. I'm doing a podcast now. Okay, bye. Bye, love you. Bye, Charlie, mate. What a legend. I'm doing a podcast now. Okay, bye. Bye, love you. Bye, Charlie, mate. What a legend.

What's that, Alex? You can come and say hello to Tom quickly. This is Alex. Hello. Yes, hello, Alex. My man. He can't hear you, but he says hello. He said, my man, Alex.

Hi. Okay, let's go. I'm doing a podcast. Yeah, he said, are you good, Alex? I am. He is, yeah. Charlie's a bit upset because he had France in the sweepstake at school. Oh, wow.

Yeah, so he's a bit annoyed about that. Him and the whole nation have cried. Yes. Anyway, what were we talking about? Oh, yeah. We were talking about your little sly dig. Well, not even sly. It was absolutely blatant.

But Lisa tidies away stuff and then can't remember where she's put it so in my head i've put something somewhere and i think it's roughly in that area but it's not in a tidy place it's just like on a worktop or in a pile somewhere and then i come back to that pile to like retrieve the thing and it's gone and then I say to Lisa do you know where blah blah blah is and she'll go hmm hmm hmm

I had a vague recollection of type hmm I'm just saying Lisa has got a much cooler voice than that by the way I don't think Lisa's got a cool voice I think she's got a lot her voice is cooler than that for death. It's cooler than what I'm doing, yeah, sure. I don't know if it's cool.

I have a question for you, my learned friend. Are you a hoarder? Am I a what? Hoarder. I'm a bit of a hoarder, yeah. How do you know that? Have I got that vibe about me? Oh, no.

Here we go. So Tom's now currently looking at his audio setup like a child trying to figure out a Rubik's Cube. The lack of understanding that's spread across his face is actually quite breathtaking. The way he's looking at his laptop and his microphone and his headphones now is like he's never seen this equipment before in his life.

It's unbelievable. It's like if you never seen this equipment before in his life. It's unbelievable. It's like if you saw sort of a bear trying to hook up a PlayStation. So just so you know, I don't know how much we're going to include this in the edit, but suffice to say, Tom Davis has had, I would describe it as one of his most stressful periods since we started the podcast. I would say that's one of the most stressful periods of my life. It was...

That was horrible. Basically, technology is amazing. It is amazing. When it goes wrong, I think you really... It really takes away all the layers of how... You know how you go, yeah, things are going all right, yeah, I'm feeling quite chilled out and stuff like that. As soon as something goes wrong with technology,

you get an insight into what your psychology is really like. You go, yeah, things are going all right. Yeah, I'm feeling quite chilled out and stuff like that. As soon as something goes wrong with technology, you get an insight into what your psychology is really like. I've gone from being really chilled and enjoying that little chat to sitting in a chair and I'm genuinely, you know, like the bloke they find in Seven when he's in that chair and he's sweating next street. Like, fucking, I feel like him now. I mean, thank God my kids left the room before that episode started.

They would have been absolutely horrified. I don't understand for a minute, right, why you can go from being... someone can go from working to not working like that in no time. It's so fucking frustrating.

It's just literally feedback. I feel like writing a really strong letter to someone. Right. But I don't know who. You don't know who? Who?

Well, I mean, let's narrow it down. The headphones have gone wrong, so... Yeah, well, that's Dr. Dre's fault, because these are Beats. How were those Beats headphones before that just happened? Not as good as the Samsung Galaxy ones I've got, but I haven't got those connected to the... I've got those connected. We've had quite a few messages about how annoying that advert is.

Yeah, yeah. I've never listened back to it. I skip through it like most people do. Yeah, because apparently, I don't know for definite if there is, but there is a skip. I'm sure there's a skip button on every single podcast, but I don't know. A lot of people that are listening don't seem to have that function.

It's weird. Yeah. Just like the same people who complain about the intro and if you've listened to enough of these you can quite

quickly fly through exactly how long it goes on for and skip through it I feel like when something like this goes wrong in the world

of podcasting it's like having a really bad touch in football you feel like you've lost a moment. I'm going to tell you. Maybe a few months ago, we were doing one of these. I had a similar issue with my headphones.

What I was having is every time I was saying something to you, I was hearing myself back in the headphones like a second after I'd started talking. I thought this is not a big enough issue. We've got to record the podcast. I carried on but I just didn't feel in the room properly it's something it messes with you a bit so now I can tell you're like a bit you're a bit you're a bit afraid you feel like the crowd have got on your

back you've maybe played it I feel like Gaza in 1990 you slammed it into Rosehead instead of like knocking it on or whatever and so yeah you're feeling How do you think Kylian Mbappe feels today? Well, I saw a lot of posts last night about, you know what? When people say to you, why is football exciting? Show them tonight's game. You know, all of that.

There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that. People get very excited when a game like that happens. Personally, I thought both games were a credit to the beautiful game. I thought Switzerland, amazing. I just don't think France looked like they cared.

I'm very nervous about today. I'm very nervous about England. So as you're listening to us now, it's the day of the England-Germany game. By the time you hear this, we will either have marched on to the quarterfinals or the whole country will have realised what we all suspected, which is that this team

have not really got it together in this tournament. I think this team, man, I have no doubt that this team are going to fire through Germany. You reckon fire through Germany? It's a very aggressive way of putting it. No, no.

Right, okay. I've got this feeling that this is our year to do something very special ok, a few questions on that I'm a big England fan as are you

I obviously want England to win the Euros my question to you is when you say that you've got a feeling that this is our year, is there any kind of evidence to support that or is that you say that you've got a feeling that this is our year, is there any kind of evidence to support that or is that you found a fiver in one of your jeans pockets and so you feel like

the luck's in or something? I've had this feeling before, I'm not going to lie. And then I've also things have happened where things have turned out well in football and I've had, like this season, I didn't have this feeling about West Ham. West Ham have been incredible. Right? So that sort of undermines your

fanning theory carry on yeah no but I just I just I don't know I can just see Saka just dancing at them tonight

and Grealish just darting about and you know Kane just holding and moving and swerving and you know I can just see

Guile and Poise I'm just excited do you remember do you remember when Arsenal had Southampton in the FA Cup final and they played them a few days before and they beat them 6-1? I think it was 6-1.

And Gordon Strachan, who was managing Southampton at the time, said do you know what? I don't know how to explain it, but partway through that game I just thought we're going to win the FA Cup off these guys

sort of thing and I remember thinking to myself I wonder what what feeling it has during that defeat and he just said I just can't explain it is that what you're talking about

just a sort of something in the air did Southampton beat did they beat you in the FA Cup final but it was 1-0 I think yeah yeah so they they got their their vibe right, so they got their vibe right.

Why did they get their vibe right? They lost. Yeah, but it's better than 6-1. So he had a feeling that it was going to be better. You might as well go, oh, I've got a feeling that it won't be the same result in the FA Cup final. Well, no, it's the same result,

but what he should have said, I don't think it will get beaten as badly. Yeah, and all these fans were going, I should fucking hope so, Gordon. You just conceded six. Do you ever look at Instagram stories and try and look people in the eye in the stories? What do you mean?

As I'm watching the Instagram story, try and look them in the eye? Like, look at their eyes and see what steel and determination is there. I think I'm pretty confident I've never, ever, ever done that. Yeah, but go on. Right, so I've been examining

the psyche of the England players through Instagram. Christ almighty. Okay, go on. And I just think, I think they're ready for this. Like, just look at... Just look at their eyes.

I would have loved for you to have been a pundit in the studio. Now we go over to Tom Davies for his take on that. Well, let me tell you something. Listen, I know a lot of people sort of say the Scotland game was bad. We haven't looked massively convincing against any team. But let me tell you something. I've been studying the Insta stories. I don't know if you know them, Gary.

It's like a thing that appears. It's about 24 hours. Oh, Gary loves them. Gary loves the Insta Stories. I don't know if you know them, Gary. It's like a thing that appears. It's about 24 hours. Oh, Gary loves them. Gary loves his Insta Stories. Does Gary Lineker do Insta Stories? Oh, mate, he loves his Insta Stories. He did a really good one. He was out yesterday playing golf with his sons.

Yeah, he did a good one yesterday. That's my slight problem with Insta Stories, right? When people overshare like that. Because now, just then you sounded like a stalker I'm not saying you are a

stalker obviously I'm not saying that yesterday Gary was out playing golf with his

sons to me you shouldn't know that no but what I'm saying to you right is you can

tell a lot about where people are at through Insta stories so who's Insta stories have you been

watching Kieran Trippius must be watching? Kieran Trippius. Must be nice for Kieran Trippius. After the Scotland game, see you bellowing across the stand at him

like a thirsty prick. And then to no little notification, oh yeah, Tom's watched the story yet again. He watches every

one of these. Normally the first little name that pops up. Having a look when he puts the story up. KT's a good guy, man. Just popping up on his live. Hey, kid.

Tom here. Shout out, man. You were fire the other day. KT, man. He's a... Shout out to KT. I know he listens, I think. Yeah, I bet he does.

Saka looks in a good place. He's comical. He's having a laugh. He's a... I tell having a laugh he's a I tell you that kid's a credit to this he's a credit man to his parents

to this nation he's an amazing person I can't wait to see him play his best years of football at a different club because that's all my set isn't it

well no I don't know there's a laughty to him that strikes me as long as you guys treat him nice I don't think well I'd love to think that Arsenal treat players

nice but I don't know I think that it feels like to think that Arsenal treat players nice, but, I don't know, I think that it feels like there's a bit of dissent. Anyway, doesn't matter, let's not get into, let's not get into the issues

of Arsenal, Arsenal football club. Look, Harry Maguire looks on good form. There's a comic, you know, comic sort of cheekiness to him. Is there?

A little confidence. There's a comic cheekiness to Harry Maguire, is there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sort of comes through.

I'll tell you, he's really having a great time in the camp, Karl Walker. Is he? Karl Walker's having a right laugh, yeah, yeah, that's sort of coming through. I'll tell you, he's really having a great time in the camp, Karl Walker. Is he? Karl Walker's having a right laugh, yeah,

yeah. He likes a good time, doesn't he, Karl Walker? Yeah, yeah. Loves it.

He was joking around, yeah, he was, I'll tell you, he was having that kind of time,

he was like a dog off a leather coat. So, what do you reckon? You reckon England are going to beat

Germany? No, I'm not going to say it's going to be 5-1, like when we beat them in Munich that time. Call the Strakens out again. You're going to put your neck out

and say you don't think it's going to be the same result as that 5-1 result. No, no. But I think I'd be surprised if we don't score at least three goals. Wow. Now that is a big prediction. You'll be surprised if we don't score three goals.

Yeah. I just think, right, Gareth. Now, that is a big prediction. You'll be surprised if we don't score three goals. Yeah. I just think, right? Gareth. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music.

Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Order up for Damien.

Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about rhabelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis.

Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin conditioning oils so whether you're going for a run or just running late do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't find secret at your nearest walmart or shoppers drug mart today

i love gareth as you know you've seen a picture of me and gareth by the way just so you know he's talking about i know it sounds like he's talking about a mate of his. He's talking about Gareth Southgate, the England manager. But carry on, yeah. Gareth Southgate. I love Gareth.

And I just think there's a thing in Gareth that's like, okay, have you ever played cards before? Yes, I've played cards before, yeah. Poker?

I don't think I've played poker, no. Now, poker is an incredible game. And it is a game that is won and lost on risk, assertion, and bluff, right? Rab, yeah. Okay? I know.

Yeah, Rab. Gareth is playing poker at the moment. He's got his cards. We all think, oh, shit, he hasn't got much of a hand. But what Gareth has got is a flush or a straight run or something that's really good what yeah one of the

most needless analogies I think I've ever heard in my life first we ask if I know poker and then proceed to deliver an example that suggests

to be honest with you that you don't fucking know poker I'm just saying right there's a flex inside that guy that I To be honest with you, you don't fucking know poker. I'm just saying, right? There's a flex inside that guy that I just fucking... I think he... I like the way he dresses. He's so... Shout out to Percival, actually. Percival Menswear that have dressed him for this tournament.

Do you have to give them a shout out? Bearing in mind you're already in their advert. I don't know how much more you're going to have to hang on to that corporate tape. No, I'm just saying that they've dressed him nice. But he's all stylish. You know, one of my favourite things,

and I was very close to getting it as a tattoo, you know, when he's just leaning back like that. That real passion in his face. You were going to get that as a tattoo?

Yeah. You don't get a King Gary when he has that as a tattoo. King Gary You don't get King Gary. He's got that as a tattoo. King Gary. Yeah. Gary King. The person you deliberately wrote as a mega twat. You were going to get the same tattoo as him?

Mate, I think... I don't know, man. If England win this tournament, I'll definitely get some kind of tat. Okay. If England win this tournament, tell me what tattoo you're going to get, please. I don't know.

People... I think maybe some designs could come in. We've already had people offer to tattoo you, by the way. Something classy and sexy. Classy and sexy, but signifies England's Euro victory. If there's any tattoo artist that could make that one of the most fucking challenging, the most challenging commission remits

I've ever heard in my life. Before you send over something sort of stupid like Harry Kane is the suspenders with an English shirt on right don't

I just mean like saying it's just subtle and nice what an incredible go-to image by you by the way before you send something like

with I don't know fucking Harry Maguire with his dick out, sort of playing with his nipples. Just have a think

about. Oh, that's why I said classy and sexy. So it's got sort of, yeah, yeah.

So we're looking for a classy, sexy England tattoo, which shouldn't be too difficult, because whenever I'm out and about and see someone

with an England tattoo, I always think, what a classy, sexy guy that must be. Maybe it could be like a, you know, maybe quite cool, like a classy, sexy guy that must be. Maybe it could be like a, you know what would be quite cool,

like a lion on a wolf's back. What? A lion on a wolf's back. A lion on a wolf's back? Yeah. What? Why? Do you mean a lion?

What? Like a lion mounted on top of a... No. Like the wolf has carried the lion. Hold on a minute. The metaphor for that is that

you've taken England to victory in the Euros. You know that, right? It's like a wolf carrying three lions on its back. Is that what you want? I don't think a wolf could carry three lions. I don't think a wolf could carry a lion, Tom. Wolves are very, very fucking

amazing. Are they? Tell me what you know about wolves. They survive in the cold or the hot. Right. They live in forests, but also sometimes in plains. They're the ancestors of dogs.

They are loyal to their packs, but not to be crossed. you know what this you know what you sound like you sound like my first book about wolves is what you sound like something that charlie might have there might there might be people out there that are worrying about what might happen when god forbid david atttenborough goes on to pass away. Is there going to be somebody that can step into his environmentally friendly shoes? Well, have no fear.

If you want a series of very basic facts, 60% of which sound completely inaccurate, Tom Davis is here for you. Have you ever had like you know those sort of vegan shoes you know the ones that made of

vegan leather my problem with those vegan shoes so some of them are nice so for example adidas have just brought out a whole

line of like they brought out these vegan Stan Smiths shout out adidas yeah yeah yeah that's right they took us to

the football they brought out these vegan Stan Smiths and these vegan superstars or whatever. And you can get decent vegan trainers. The ones that are...

And actually, the other thing is, I follow... This is quite boring, but we've started talking about this now. There's this thing called Accidentally Vegan Footwear or something on Facebook. And sometimes trainers will just be vegan. Like a lot of the Yeezys are vegan. of the jordans are vegan yeah so um just by accident not by design

it's just happened that they haven't used any animal products in but it's difficult it's difficult anyway the what was oh yeah but the ones that are specifically by vegan shoe companies there are there are exceptions um but a lot of them look like they've been prescribed. I mean, that's kind of my issue. If you wear a pair of actual shoes, like shoe shoes rather than trainers. You can get decent vegan shoe shoes. Is that what you wear? Are you like 100% invested in that sort of vibe?

What do you mean, that sort of vibe? Well, no, do you wear vegan trainers and shoes? You're not like one of these vegans who just eats vegan stuff. No, I try and dress vegan as well. But can I say that 100% of my gear is vegan? No, because it's impossible. Even if you get a knock... Yeah, because I've definitely seen you in a leather jacket.

That's what you've never... You've never seen me in a leather jacket. I swear I've seen you in a leather jacket. Did's what you've never... You've never seen me in a leather jacket. I swear I've seen you in a leather jacket. Did you? We were at a bar and then as I walked out, I slammed the jukebox. I swear. When I first knew you, you had a leather jacket.

Listen, Tom, don't start this. I swear. This is like your other story where I was head to toe in Superdrive when we first met. You know, actually, one of my favourite things of the last few days

is the picture of you in your jeans and shoes. You're such a dick. I was doing a league VT with Redknapp. He absolutely, he was telling me how much he loved that.

You making me look like I was rocking the boot cuts. Where did you see that? Where was that? That was in the breakfast, the restaurant where we had our breakfast. My breakfast, where you sat and watched me eat. There's three of them.

I only could get a picture of one, but they all had, because we were at the rugby, right? It's a whole different vibe, the rugby look to the football look, isn't it? Yeah. I actually think going to the rugby, I know we didn't see as many people because we were going through as part of filming and stuff.

So they whipped us through. But the rugby fans we did see, how bloody polite and lovely were they, man? It was... Also, yeah. Do you know that all of them wore their masks throughout the whole game? They all wore their masks throughout the whole game. They all wore their masks throughout the whole game. When we got recognised, I mean, bearing in mind I've told a story

on this podcast about, and by the way, I'm also fully aware that's one isolated incident. Most of the football fans we met up with were fine, weren't they? Well, yeah, absolutely. Legends. There was that woman who was shouting out for ages when she was crying. Actually, do actually do you know if we're going

to focus on isolated incidents from the football we need to focus on this isolated incident from the rugby after we'd come off from doing the challenge we came down to like one of the exits from the ground and we had to get dressed quickly because tom and i had to jump on a train which was great because if we hadn't jumped on that train, I wouldn't have arrived home at one in the morning like I managed to. So we stood there sort of getting ourselves sorted out, getting the boots off, getting the trains off and a woman

from like over the wall of the stand I've got to say was just sort of screaming at us at the top of her lungs just sort of shouting questions at us. But quite weird questions, like they were quite specific, weren't they? Do you know the other thing is, the way that she asked the questions,

it wasn't like, I'm inquisitive. It was like she was at immigration and you're trying to get in. That is the way that we've been asked questions by that woman. It felt like quite an aggressive cop in sort of like an 80s movie. Also, what was kind of indignifying is

me and you were both, and we've both talked on this about our issues with our bodies. We're having to get changed in front of 25,000 people. And someone said to me, are you wearing that home? And I was like, well, I am now.

I'm not taking my top and my trousers off and being in my pants. That photo we put up, we all put up, of you, me and Jamie yeah I've got to say I'm not I mean I put it up

because it's a funny photo but in terms of actually how you feel about yourself that was a low for me a lot of people said you looked sad

in that photo and I think it was a fair you had a great time you were I was just being I was just doing my usual sort of I'm with these guys

you know that sort of yeah I'll tell you who really liked you by the way Duncan Ware why do you say that he really liked you he really respected you

Duncan Ware Scottish rugby legend he and I we got on like a house on fire you know it was one of the sweetest things where because you know obviously me and you

have got mutual friends we're close but watching you and him, your relationship blossom throughout the day was really sweet. Hold on. What are you doing now? No, no, generally. No, really.

I really like, I really enjoyed watching it. It was really nice. He was a lovely guy, Duncan, but it was nice. It was nice watching, you know, obviously. Okay. You know one of the things, listen, you're making me. You're so. No, you're making me and Duncan Weir

sound like you're watching us on The Undateables. No, no. No, right, look. You just hit it off straight away. And then you were chatting about different places in Scotland you went to and stuff like that. Yeah, I felt the same. I felt a bit of a kindred spirit in Big SQ.

Yeah, Scott Quinnell. Yeah, what a guy. They're really amazing guys, actually. I really enjoyed the rugby guys. I thought they were just saying about them that just,

sort of confidence about them that just, sort of, yeah. You know what? I just thought, maybe I've got these guys wrong. Well, what did you think about them

before we went and spent the day with them? I always thought they were just sort of posh boys who were sort of like... I think that's a very... Rugby being posh is a very English thing, though.

I don't think that's the case elsewhere. No, but, you know, Greeno, all of them, just great guys. I genuinely... Yeah, we had a great time. It was great.

The thing that I can't relate... I mean, I can't relate to anything about sports people because I don't have a competitive streak. I don't have commitment. Oh, you have. No, I don't.

You have. Mate, on that field, I can't say how. Oh, you have. No, I don't. Mate, on that field, I can't say how it ended, but I saw a competitiveness in you that I'd not seen before. Yeah. The same like I'd been awakening you. This is absolute. This is bollocks.

Don't confuse humiliation avoidance with competitiveness. Alright? No, I could see that you were competitive. You were really good. I was watching you thinking, actually, you'd have been an alright rugby player. Right, okay. Now we've moved into the realms of pure fantasy.

Anyway. I digress. The other thing I can't relate to is just how hard you've got to be to be a rugby player. Like, you know, we were practising catching kicks and the thing we were doing is, we were having a ball kick to us and completely, completely untouched we were having to try and catch this ball.

Whereas when we sat and watched the rugby, and, you know, obviously I've seen rugby before, you have to catch the ball while a 19-stone man is running at full tilt towards you. I mean, it's mad. And like, Duncan, who is a really good mate of mine now,

Duncan Weir, he was saying, he's had serious injuries. It's a nightmare. You shit yourself. When the ball's coming into you like that, you know that you're about to get clattered. So it's like,

catch the ball and then take a horrible hit. I can't even imagine what that's like. Scott Bigescu was saying to me during the game, he said, you know, they've got no respect for anyone. You've got to basically be able to take the hits and the licks. And if you don't, you're just a joke. You sort of get ostracised from the community, really. Ostracised from the community?

What happens? You get your passport taken away from rugby town. What does that mean? No. Like when you're out about the rugby dots you know say if we went into a bar and like

you know it's me you and name one other person we know Rob Beckett okay me you and Rob Beckett and you like funk to kick

or something so everyone in the rugby community would know you and they'd be like I don't know why I've asked for another person. This is so mental. Like, when you go into these examples, it's yet another just absolutely pointless hypothetical.

No. Right, we go in, me, you and Rob Beckett, and we just played rugby right for I don't know Sydenham Town right and we go in

and I'd say three pints of bitter please and we'd all have a pint of bitter and you sort of stand there a bit awkwardly because you've flunked it on a catch

because you've blossomed out right and then someone would come out and go what's he doing here because he blossomed out of a brimming catch

and I'd go he's still our friend. And they were like, not in the rugby pub. He's not, he can't be coming in here. So. And so what?

The only Asian man in the group is asked to leave. I mean, I'll say something like, so this is about my catching the kick, is it?

And they go, yeah. There's nothing else. And they go, no. And then I go and probably do a tweet. Okay. Let me give you another example. Right. Me, you, and Rob Beckett go to the pub. there's nothing else and they go no and then I go and probably do a tweet I'll probably go and do

I'll probably go and do a tweet about it right me you and Rob Beckett go to the pub I've missed the catch they come up and I go

three points a bit please and the guy will give us three points we turn around and go I go oh bloody hell god I missed that catch

and someone will turn around and say oi did you miss the catch today and I'll be like yeah and they go get out

you bloody you know, blossom. That was a word that someone used quite a few times on Saturday. I've got quite into. Yeah. Why did you have to go through? Why did we have to order

three pints of bitter in this story? I've no idea. And why does Rob have to be there? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. In my head, the example was going to be different. Okay. But, yeah, it's a different way of looking at the world, isn't it?

Rugby and football and, you know, snooker. That's what I love about sport. Yeah. Your brain's made up of different things. Yeah, I think sports people are built different. They just are. Yeah. Yeah. Your brain's made up of different things. Yeah. I think sports people are built different. They just are.

Yeah. Oh, mate, yeah. There was something about the Royal Green. I mean, the confidence of Will Greenwood. But you know, the other thing is, so we did a thing. We've done a few of these league VTs. Freddie and Jamie obviously immediately take to things a lot better than the non-sports people, right? Yeah. take to things a lot better than the non-sports people right yeah but on the occasions that we've done stuff and and they've been struggling to do it as well the difference between me jamie and

freddie apart from physical massive physical disadvantage that i've got compared to them is if they can't do something they cannot leave it until they've mastered it. Whereas I just don't care. What I mean is I respect what it is but I'm just not that bothered about getting it. Whereas they find it unacceptable to walk away from that thing

without at least having achieved a certain standard at it. I find it impressive but I just don't have that in me at all when we were doing the Vednap show there was a moment where

Jamie and Thierry were both having to scoop a ball into a basketball net right just with their foot like kick it

into the basketball net and I'm not joking it took about an hour for them both to get it because it was a fucking hard trip right

where you've got to do a few kick-ups and then end up with it scoring a basket it just neither of them would leave it the whole crew's standing there but they wouldn't leave it until they got it done yeah yeah is that the record that finished at 3am you told me about yeah We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world.

We share to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of echo. Discover the extraordinary with echo. The spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil opens May 8th under the big top at Toronto Lake shore Boulevard, West tickets at Cirque du Soleil.com. The world is yours to create.

Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. And teaming up.

Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong The New Empire Now playing only in theaters. Right, do you want to do some emails, Tommy? Oh, mate, I'd love to get my teeth into some sweet, sweet emails. Once again, thank you so much to The Swan for her sterling work. Hi, Wolf, Owl and Swan.

Thanks for the great podcast. I look forward to each episode. It's really interesting to hear both of you discussing your body issues and hang-ups as you come across as confident and intelligent guys. It's a reminder that we all have hidden depths and there's more to people than initially comes across. About the Galaxy earbuds ad, Tom says at one point, it's great listening to Ed Sheeran

and the sound quality is so good that he feels like he's sitting on Ed's lap. My question is, does Tom really listen to Ed Sheeran's music and what tracks in particular would he recommend? Thanks again. For the entertainment. First of all,

thank you so much, May, for your email great email I'm baffled as to what how's it spelled is that spelled is it spelled

M-A-Y how's May spelled no well there's two ways isn't there M-A-E or M-A-Y you're absolutely right M-A-Y

yeah you're gonna sort of like get your big old ingrained toenails and fucking fly them in that is a problem I told you about in confidence no I don't have ingrained toenails and fucking flying them in. That is a problem I told you about in confidence.

No, I don't have any growing toenails. So go on. Yo, May. Yeah, I love Ed Sheeran. Big, big fan of his early stuff, his middle stuff, and now what's becoming his later stuff. What a needlessly long way of saying that you like his stuff. You know when people

say I like his early stuff? Yeah. The implication there, the expectation there is there's going to be a period of Ed Sheeran's work that you're going to like less. I like it all.

I liked his stuff in 2007, the stuff moving on to 2008 was good. 2009, another good year. 2010, I really enjoyed

his music then 2011 I enjoyed that 2012 I didn't think I was going to like it but I really enjoyed it 2013

and 14 really yeah that was great 15 yeah I enjoyed that no I I really like Ed I really really like Ed

he's he's I just yeah something I smile when I listen sometimes sometimes I sit there in solace and I just sort of like, yeah. Him and Dermot Kennedy.

They're two guys I love to listen to. Love Dermot Kennedy. There's a guy when I started gigging, Murray Cummings. Yeah. And he didn't stand up when I started doing it. And he was a funny bloke. And I remember once he said to me, um,

I said to him, how's it all going? He goes, yeah, good. He goes, my cousin's like started doing music and it's like doing all right. Like he's starting to do all right.

I think so. I'm going to go to one of his gigs and I was like, all right. And then the next time I saw him, it's like, Oh, my cousin's like, um,

he wants me to do some video thing for him. So I'm going to try and do a bit of that and then next thing i know he says my cousin's asked me if i can like go and do video stream for anyways cousin was ed sheeran you know how the story ends but it was just it was so like and now murray did his um he did you know um he had i think it was for apple like this documentary about like following around on tour like murray directed it and everything and now he lives in la like he's living that life he's like involved in film but it's so mad to like like i know that doesn't sound like an amazing story but like hearing murray talk about him when they weren't sure what was going to happen like obviously they had no idea he's going to become like the phenomenon he's gone on to become but like this you know i think people

are starting to like his you know that it's so mad isn't it like even when you think about people we know like you and i even you know like mate you know rob like josh widdicombe like walshy like all of these guys katherine ryan you know all of these people that you see like we you'd see them at tiny gigs you know what i mean and then like yeah anyway I feel you know this is a this I don't want to sound I remember

I saw Ed Sheeran I was doing like a gig Nando's used to do gigs back in the day right when Nando's was first coming out so they used to do these live sort of music

and they'd have a bit of comedy and stuff on and I remember it was the one in London Bridge with a couple of mates out of someone I knew at Nando's at the time and he Ed Sheeran just got up and sang It was the one in London Bridge with a couple of mates. Someone I knew at Landers at the time.

And Ed Sheeran just got up and sat me. No one knew him. It was only at the time he was couch surfing. He was living on people's couches. And I remember sitting there genuinely thinking, this feels so, so special. Like, what are these kids doing? Just genuinely, like, just blew the room away.

You know, literally to the fact where you're just going, you know, going out and just trying to sort of listen to any of his stuff again. And he's fucking,

yeah, phenomenal. I proposed to my missus to an insurance song. What, in a Nando's? No, not in a,

I met her in a Nando's, but, um, So what was the song? Lego House. Beautiful song. He's just, you know know there's a lot to be said about someone who can can write their music write amazing lyrics he's got a sort of springsteen

vibe to him yeah i think at times yeah well mate listen uh thank you for your email and thank you to highlighting to me there are different ways of spelling may and maybe you know before i go in on the attack on tom i should uh think twice uh the swans in the room hello swan hello are you off now have a great morning where's she off to where uh tom wants to know where you're going um school run and then to p2 school run and then enjoy enjoy thank you see you later bye tom thank you for a great selection of emails tom didn't like the first one but um no why no i'm joking i'm joking all right see you. See you later. Bye, Tom. Thank you for a great selection of emails. Tom didn't like the first one. No, why? No, I'm joking. I'm joking.

See you later. Love you. Okay. Ready for another one? You sounded absolutely crestfallen when you said that. I know. I shouldn't have made that joke. Okay.

Dear Wolf, Owl and Swan, thank you for the amazing podcast as everyone says the laughs have proved to be a highlight in these extraordinary times massive fan of both your work major successful king gary agent provocateur and robin ronish and roman romish to name a few my question is as follows i know that your line of work is different to the majority of your listeners including me but it's restrictions ease and we settle in some form of normality can you share anything you've learned for the last 18 months or so that will change the way you go about things moving forward? This could either

be work or home related or both. I ask because I think we've had to adapt so much in some ways for the better, but I feel we could forget the positives and slip into the old routines. Sorry for the Rambi question. You're both incredible human beings. Love, Dara. P.S. Please do a live show. I think I know this guy. Oh, really? Yeah. I think this Love, Dara. P.S. Please do a live show. I think I know this guy.

Oh, really? Yeah. I think this is the Dara that works for Twitter. I did like a gig for Twitter, like a corporate gig for Twitter ages ago, and I think I met Dara at this gig. I recognise the name. Dara, can you let us know if it's you, please? Really appreciate it. Thank you for your email. I'm a little bit thirsty.

It's only quite thirsty the way you said it. What? It's just sort of like... It was just a bit like, Hey, Dara, remember me? I'm like, of course he remembers you. This is your podcast. No, but I'm asking if that's the same Dara to get in touch. Yeah, but there's loads...

Dara's a really common name. I'm not going to give the surname here, but I've got... I've based it on the surname as well. Oh, right. Okay. It's like me going, oh, hi, Dara.

Thanks for the email. I miss seeing you on Mock the Week. You think I'm that much of a fucking idiot? I'm looking at the full name. I didn't know that, did I? I just saw you signed it off Dara. I didn't know that people put surnames on them all right go um you know what dara i think the thing that we i think i think it's that work-life balance

is one of the most important for me anyway is that yeah we've spent so i've spent so long at home what nearly nearly two years i suppose at home where you've you know yeah usually i'm out working filming whatever writing away and and i think uh actually that's one of the things i'll try and sort of continue working from home a bit more and sort of trying to get that work-life balance um i also think it's oh you know what actually weirdly i'd actually say something i'm a bit guilty of is i think during the actual lockdowns i was a lot better at keeping in touch with family and some friends that you know and i was probably better at that and i think now things

have opened up a bit I sort of that is something I've probably regressed negatively and sort of promised myself and said oh yeah you know I'm going to keep this up and make sure I phone you know my parents sort of two or three times a week or phone my sister a little bit more often or phone friends that I haven't spoke to and I think I've been a bit culpable of slipping back into a bad habit of not doing that, which I sort of know myself and I've sort of had that awareness in the last week or two that I have sort of slipped into that sort of bad habit. I think it's, yeah, I think it's such a strange time.

I think, you know, having gone through sort of the time that we have of suffering self-recollection. I think fitness-wise, I'll take that with me. I think I've trained through most of this, and I've kept that going now, and I'm trying to keep the healthy side of it. I didn't fall into a trap of drinking a lot. I think the first month of month of lockdown i drank loads and

then i sort of realized that probably would be a very negative place for me mentally if i kept going on that so no i think yeah i think there's pluses there's minuses i think the main thing is of all you know is to come out of this and yeah i was like have you learned new skills have you have you pushed yourself to be sort of better as a human? And yeah, I think that's, that's the most, that's the most important thing. Romsky, wouldn't you say? Really nice and fulsome answer for Dara there.

Uh, thank you very much, Tom. Uh, I would echo a lot of that. Uh, do you know what the, the one thing I'm trying to think of a specific example to give you,

there's lots of things that have, I've reflected on like, but I think the thing about being, you know, you get really busy with work and stuff and one of the things that happened to me was when we did when we do ranganation on the first series the production company zeppetron are based in shepherd's bush and so we record the show on a thursday we write the show monday tuesday wednesday so that means i go into shepherd's bush monday tuesday wednesday then record the show on a thursday we write the show monday tuesday wednesday so that means i go into shepherd's bush monday tuesday wednesday then get the studio on thursday to

record it and i go in early in the morning or not early but you know first thing in the morning start writing because of us going into lockdown on the second series um i couldn't go into the office so i wrote from home and the big difference with that is I was able to do the Ranga Nation but also do the school run for the boys and I cannot tell you the difference that made in my life like in terms of being there in the mornings checking in with them going to school with them and them seeing me in the morning it added so much to my it added so much to my happiness improved my mental health so much I think it was I think I'd like to think it made the boys happier and so actually what it's left me with is a desire to not necessarily be well

maybe be less busy but to manage that busyness to also make sure that you're prioritizing doing those things at home so that's kind of what it's left me with it's been very difficult for me to answer this question the whole time i've been talking tom has been like doing a fucking sudoku or something off screen what is it you're doing now cutting my fingernails you're cutting your fingernails so i'm sitting here making eye contact with you, right? Listening to your story. Literally, the second I said, he goes, Romski. And then straight away, he's looking down, cutting his fucking fingernails.

You haven't even got the decency to give me the eye contact. You give a fucking interstice story. No. No, I was listening, intently listening. How can you be intently listening and cutting your fucking fingernails? No, it was listening, intently listening. How can you be intently listening and cutting your fucking fingernails? No, it was nice listening to you. I found it therapeutic listening to what you were saying.

I'm not a podcast dickhead. You're having a conversation with me. Is your life that busy that the only time you can cut your fingernails is while you're doing your podcast? No. I was looking at them there and i always have a pair of nail clippers on me so i just looked at them and

thought oh fucking hell they look horrible i i'd always thought to myself that cutting your fingernails is quite a casual kind of thing you do very very quickly watching you do that yeah the sort of same look of concentration if you're trying to fucking learn japanese but you've got to pay attention so they're all equal. Like that. Yeah, okay. So two things I would point out there. One, he's showing me fingernails on once again,

let me reiterate, as an audio medium. And two, your nails weren't even even. Weren't they? No. Are you telling me those two, do you think those two look the same oh yeah yeah i'll take a little bit more off that one on the left anyway uh well look but a great lovely advice and actually i which bit of advice what did i say that particularly stuck out to you do you think i think the thing about dropping your boys at school and i think actually how much it meant

to you was sweet but actually how much I think it probably meant to them. Very good. Very good. You know what you just did? You know when like you're having a chat and then the teacher goes, so what was I saying, Tom? And you go, you were saying about like how angles in a quadrilateral got added up to 360 degrees, miss. Okay.

All right. Try and pay attention. That was teacher Rob as well wouldn't it that you thought i wasn't listening but well you can forgive me for having the impression that you weren't listening bearing in mind that you looked down the whole time and were cutting your fingernails you can understand how you know i wouldn't say that was paranoia on my part would you i've got a couple of toenails in a bit but but I'll wait till later. How often do you cut your toenails? Probably every other week.

What about you? Yeah, about the same, I'd say. I really don't like my feet. I hate my feet. I think you've got lovely feet. Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Okay. Time for another email. Yo! To the Swan, Owl and Wolf. First, I love the show and I came to it via Rom's work on Hip Hop Saved My Life. It's a great pleasure to get to know Tom. My question is a bit of a follow-up

to the skincare conversation from this week's pod. I started losing my hair when I was 26. I just shaved it off and I never let it dent my confidence. I would even go as far to say I'm happy being bald and I never let it dent my confidence. I would even go as far to say I'm happy being bald. I'm an encourageable bald pride. There's no lots of people struggling with hair loss. I'd like people to realize it's not the end of the world and it

shouldn't affect your confidence. We're all beautiful no matter what we look like. Practically speaking, I've always wondered about other people's head shaving technique. I shave my head every couple of days at home and use Gillette with shaving cream and then aftershave astringent thick and moisturizer. I have to do it at home because I live in South Korea and the barbers here aren't good at straight razor work. So I wondered what Tom's process is. As you guys are in showbiz, I wonder if you'd ever got extra tips from the makeup or hairstylist people on TV shows because these people know skincare so well. I've sensitive skin, so any tips would be wonderful. Thanks for the show and peace and love to you sweet, sweet souls.

Thanks, Nile Ruddy, the naked mole rat. Mole Ruddy, you are a legend. You know what? I knew you would love that. I knew you would love that. You know what? Nile Ruddy, if we walk as a pride, man, you walk alongside me and Rom. You're a legend.

You're a sweet, sweet sweet legend my friend look I'm just going to say two words for you Pitbull, Shaver they are incredible like as a bald man these are immense he's actually got it in front

I don't know how this has happened but he's actually got the thing in front of him show it up to the camera so that everyone listening to the podcast can see. Right. They are easy to use. They'll give you that. It's like a razor work across your own head, but you will get literally a finish that is gleaming and soft and gentle.

Yeah. Is it one of those handheld ones that you just sort of go? Yeah, you handheld it. They're the people who came out originally with the format of doing it. Other people have copied. But for me, they're still by far the best. I'd say as well, my man,

Rudster, one of the best things to do, mate, is go for the Platinum edition. Here we go. Platinum. Here we go. It's a real piece of work.

Feels nice in your hand. Looks cool. I've seen people use them on the trains. Yeah, that sounds cool. That sounds like a cool thing. If I saw somebody using them on the train, I'd think,

oh, what a cool guy. I wish I saw more of that. Have you ever done anything like brush your teeth on the train or anything like that? I mean, I have brushed my teeth on a train,

but not in the carriage. I was on the Trans-Siberian Express in Mongolia. Oh, here we go. What? You asked the question. You're such a show-off.

What? Yeah. You did that such a wrong thing. Again, lean back right into the bed. So, yeah, when I was on transit at Siberian Express, I, of course, had to brush my teeth. I'll tell you actually quickly

why we're talking about cool things. Heat your beard Joe yeah thanks thanks for saying something I thought that was going to be an entirely silent bit there

your your ongoing stubborn refusal to accept that this is an audio medium it's it's fucking breathtaking it really is

so I've actually I've actually got one of those it's a it's a beard straightening brush thing right yeah yeah i love them yeah they're very nice yeah how are you finding yours i've i'll be honest if you haven't used it at all oh mate get on it yeah but your beard's a bit shorter now isn't it yeah i don't think i'm gonna grow it longer than this now really yeah i like it but it's longer i'd love you to try out getting a French crop just for like a month or so. I did have a French crop when I was at sixth form.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's horrendous. My dad was so angry. Because I'd had a bit like I've got it now. It was much longer than this, like really long and curly. And I got fed up. And so I got a French crop.

I think everyone was getting those at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then my dad, I went straight to work from the hairdressers. And then my mum and dad, I think they came to pick me up from work. And my dad, honestly, the look of just, it. And then my dad, I went straight to work from the hairdressers. And then my mum and dad, I think they came to pick me up from work. And my dad, honestly, the look of just, it wasn't even my mum. My mum didn't even seem that bothered.

My dad was just like, oh my God. He was like, do you want me to go and sort the guy out who did this to you? Like, he was trying to be funny. But I was so gutted because, you know, when you have like, you make a big change like that. It's all quite nerve wracking, isn't it? And then to get cussed

out by your own dad. Was he annoyed or was he just taking a mick? He just thought he looked shit. He just thought he looked utter shit. He just thought my son's made himself look markedly worse. I think the French crop was one of my favourite ever haircuts. Why?

I just loved it. I don't know, I just felt you know, I don't know I just felt yeah there's a confidence that swayed around me at that time also you know you get blokes that try and sort of gel and divide

the little bits at the front of the French crop yeah that's what I did yeah I could see I used to you remember that

really cruddy blue gel yeah I used to get I used to just stick my hand into it I had so much gel in my hand yeah

it was like hard I used to sort of sit there just for ages individualized strands yeah yeah yeah yeah god knows why we thought that was appealing it's it's mental and then just go and stand on your own in a nightclub for an evening while you and then sort of later on you sort of touch your head and then you break the the sort of gel cast or you or you're really dancing and really having a good time.

And then you're just wiping fucking poison out your eyes. Or you're on the way somewhere and it rains and it foams. The number of times I'd be in a club sweating and then just stingy wax or gel would be in my eyes. Sort of dancing and trying to fucking... Dancing while your eyes are burning. Did you ever go to a foam party? Yeah, I did a couple of times, yeah.

There's a famous one in Megaluf called BCMs. Yeah. Which is like... I think it was like one of the first ones. I remember going there and really like... They had a light show then at a phone party and I was dancing in the middle of the phone

someone jumped on my back and my knee like twisted my knee so my knee ligament snapped so I hit the deck in the middle of this phone party your knee ligament

snapped yeah yeah yeah I like pulled my whole knee my knee basically came out the patella came out how painful is that agony

right agony but also what's even worse is i obviously hit the floor yeah uh and it's slippery everywhere so i'm lying on the floor people are dancing sort of around me or on me sort of like kick it was like but not you know because you're in foam right so no one can see you so i had to crawl like i'm in some sort of like war movie out of the, the phone was, took the whole dance floor over. Obviously on the floor, there's fucking broken glass. There's fucking,

it was literally like, and people go, what are you doing? And I was like, the music's loud looking down at me. I've got some fucking weirdo. Like that guy at the beginning of Blade. Yeah.

Yeah. And then there's just me going, ah, it's my knee. It's my knee it's my knee mouth full of foam so what happened did you have to go to hospital

or something yeah yeah yeah I had to go to hospital and then I had my fucking they were going to plaster it but I said in the end no I'm not having it plastered mate

just do the sweet sweet sweet sweet brace thing around it and that brace will do so they braced it up and yeah and then basically I had a cool

story to tell people when I was out there for the next four or five days I was on crutches you must have

had so much sex off the back of that brace I didn't have any more or any less sex I still

didn't have any sex that holiday I was quite known as the guy on that holiday who didn't have any sex

I reckon I must be the only person that's ever visited Faleraki on a holiday and got nowhere with any sex. I reckon I must be the only person that's ever visited Faleraki on a holiday and got nowhere with any women for the entire time I was there.

I'd like to jump in on that, Fred. I'd like to think that on every holiday, I pretty much left with a whole new group of friends who are girls. Oh, it's so good having a load of sisters to keep in touch with every time.

Oh, mate, I'll tell you what, one of the most tragic things I remember, oh, this is so fucking tragic. I remember a group of girls from Leeds I made friends with on holiday. Yeah. And then they wrote to me afterwards. And my mum was like, oh, any of these your girlfriend? There was a picture of me and four girls. I went over to the lads on a date.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. It's so sad, isn't it? So tragic. At the time, I remember, obviously, you know, it's fun talking about it, but I remember at the time

thinking nobody can know about this. Like, you know, because everybody in you, I know it's different, but everybody would be like, oh, fucking hell, honestly, mate, I have so much sex. It's mental.

If you can't have sex when you're in Falerakiay that is that's the worst thing in it i remember like it's so funny how you look back here um and there was a guy called neil who was like this sort of club rep right uh and i went from the age of i think 15 was my first lads holiday and i went every year for years right and for most of my teens I was sort of you know it was I was quite not sure I was loud

but I just didn't have any sort of like luck in that direction and I remember this guy Neil and he had a French crop really sort of like gel but everyone you know

and I remember Neil in front of like we all went out for this big big night and then one of my mates told Neil that I got nowhere with anyone

and he told the whole of this pub crawl that I had no luck with any women and yeah everyone sort of this pub crawl that I had no love with any women oh my god and yeah everyone sort of laughed and one girl

offered to kiss me but it was it was done yeah I hate that offered to kiss you like she's kissing a fucking water buffalo or something

I had stuff like that happen to me you know like just that sort of a sympathy snog oh I'll kiss you and then everyone sort of treats her like a war hero

because she'd be kind enough to make direct skin to skin contact with the beast what's the worst thing of all is someone gets three shots for a night

because they kissed you alright three drinks three drinks for Emma all night fair play to her fair play to her she locked lips as soon as that happens kissed you alright free drink free drinks for Emeril no actually kiss Tom fair play to her fair play to her

she locked lips as soon as that happens your mate you can't count that as a kiss because he was down in the dress right

Tom it's about that time can you please please take us out? Yo, how you doing? How does your day lie beneath you? Because let me tell you something. We are all growing. Sometimes we grow at a rapid rate. Some people outgrow others very quickly. And I'm not even talking about physically. I'm not talking about height. I'm not talking about height. I'm not talking about weight.

I'm not talking about muscle. I'm talking about inside. I'm talking about your soul, your heart, and your mind. The truth of the matter is, some of us fly from start, and it's easy to look at people and think, you know what, this person hasn't truly grown. This person hasn't learned the lessons I've learned. But the actual truth of it is those who are growing slowly, those who are, you know, holding back a little bit,

worrying a little bit, are actually growing to be the biggest and the most beautiful of flowers so don't judge a guy or a girl for how many kisses they've had in a nightclub or how many hands they've held or how many times they've been on dates judge them by the smile and the eagerness they have to get up every day and go, yo, I might get crushed, but one day, one day I shall be free. Lovely. Really nice.

I mean, my only issue with it is, you know, you sort of said, you know, people start off difficult, but you've got no idea what beautiful flowers are going to turn into. I would say that we are still two flowers that think we're hideous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that was lovely, Tom.

Thank you so much. Guys, thank you for listening to The Wolf and I podcast. We really, listen, we really, really appreciate it. Thanks for your support. Thanks for the love. Thanks for the tenderness. And I'm going to set you all a little bit of homework. I want you to turn around to one person that you don't really know that well turn around to them and say hey do you yeah i'd say you

need to know them a little bit yeah yeah yeah a little bit like you know just some of your postman or you know the woman who works in the post office or don't no yeah yeah i don't well that depends on the context isn't it yeah i guess but no no no actually no it doesn't i think do it okay and that'll feel good i said it to a waiter yesterday what where where were you uh in ask the italian restaurant and what happened he he was just great he said a little way about him he was cheeky and a real laugh uh and as sort of uh i gave him the tip at the end of the thing he said oh thank you, I said no you deserve that mate and he said oh right sometimes people

find me annoying, I said you're not annoying you keep doing you, yo I fist bumped him and walked out That's Tom financially rewarding a waiter who's clearly being annoying to customers and reinforcing that that behaviour is appropriate see you next see you next see you Friday

if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you,

mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.