Wolf and Owl - Episode 31

Episode Date: July 7, 2021

We’re talking… birthday parties, childhood heartbreak, extremely spicy noodles and kids bedtimes - followed by some advice on crooked teeth, dealing with laddish attitudes and friends becoming neighbours. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder

Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the Wolf of Now podcast. Inside the rain, inside the place. This one for the people that I know, the guys that I know, the bands that I know. The wolf and the owl in the place. Oh, you don't even know.

This one for the bit of bad boy, for the bit of bad boy, for the bit of bad boy. Oh, honey. Oh my God. Welcome to the Wolf of Now podcast. I want to start this properly. And I want to give a big congratulations to my brother from another mother, Tom Davis. He knows what I'm about to say.

On the last episode of the podcast, we asked each other for predictions. I can't remember exactly how it went down and tom said four nil i think it's going to be like holland all over again four nil to england and i doubted him i've made a funny sort of i've listened to the clip back and i made a little doughty noise as he did it and then went we'll see Tommy, my boy, or something in a really patronising way. And it turns out, my guy was right. Did you put money on that?

I didn't have money on that exactly. I had money on over 3.5 goals. I won a little bit. I won some shekels. But the one that I was gutted on is that I genuinely... We talked about this last time,

but I saw something in Harry Kane this week and obviously I've become something of a kindred spirit to the Kane kin and the Kane family. So I put... You made up a little tongue twister there, haven't you? You've become a kindred spirit to the Kane kin. I put a little bit of money on Harry Kane scoring a hat-trick, which would have paid for a nice holiday.

Wow. If he could have bothered to pull his finger out, is that what you're saying? Well, no, I mean, obviously, that incredible shot he had. That was amazing, wasn't it? Man, you know what? I knew Harry was back. I just knew it.

And let me just shout out to anyone who... What was the clue when he scored in the last game? Mate, I'll tell you what the clue was. His Instagram this week. What did he say in his Instagram? Go back through it, man. Here we go. His confidence is back up.

His confidence. He's posting quite a lot. He's sitting there thinking about what he's going to say. Yeah, man. I want to just say as well that if you... I think the people who have doubted Gareth Southgate, doubted Harry Kane, doubted Raheem Sterling, Luke Shaw, Harry Maguire, whoever you've coded on...

You don't have to go through the whole team, we get it. If you've done that, if you go through people's social media and they've had a go at these people, I don't think they should be allowed in the stadium. I don't think they should be allowed to sing It's Coming Home. Because I, like, yeah,

I think that those people really should just be, literally have to put up a post saying, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I'll never doubt Gareth Southgate again. So, what are you suggesting? Are you suggesting that

in all future England set-ups, even if you're disgruntled or you disagree with what's been happening, you shouldn't be allowed to express that? Is that what you're saying? No,

I just think coating off particular people, singling out people. Right. Raheem Sterling's coming for a lot of this. Harry Kane. People were shouting, you know,

me and you saw it when we were at the game. You know, people having a go at people, you know. But in fairness, you and I weren't that happy after the England-Scotland game, were we? No, we weren't happy, but we didn't go onto social media and start slagging off Pacific people. We didn't start laying into Gareth Southgate. We didn't start having a go at Harry Kane.

We didn't start saying this person's not trying, that person's not trying. I think that, of course you can have your opinion. Of course you can sit and chat over. But I think singling out players and people in the team, but then stand by it and go, look, I was wrong.

What should this post look like? This post that you sent? I think there should be a post that comes out going, you know what, I'm an idiot. I was wrong. I apologise. Yeah, and if they get to the final, you know, fingers crossed,

or going to win it or whatever, I think you should put up a post going, I'm not allowed to enjoy this because I singled out people. Please feel free to, after you finish your celebration, If someone was having a birthday party, I remember actually inviting the school bully

at my school to my birthday party because I was so terrified. Because I was so terrified of what would happen if I didn't. He took over the birthday party. It might as well have just been his birthday party at the end. Hardly anyone even knew it was mine.

Two years that happened. Once we had it like a soft play thing with trampolines and everything, he took it over completely. The other one was at a football, five side courts. He was the best player. I'd say the first year,

he's bang out of order. The second year, all of the blame lies with you, really. You've seen what happened the previous year. If I was honest with you, I was very much worried other people wouldn't come if he didn't come. And I knew that he liked teasing me enough

that he would come to my birthday. Oh, right. So, we've got cake and we're going to have a bouncy cast of stuff, but most of all, I'll be there and you can rip the shit out of me on my birthday is that is that what it was is that what the only seven-year-old uh who had his own roast at his birthday

yeah so what's gonna happen is obviously we've got the trampolines we've got all like the you know the ball pit and stuff uh then we're gonna have like uh my birthday cake um got a really cool birthday tea uh and then uh bleep bleep is just gonna rinse me for how shit the birthday party's been and that'll probably be like an hour and a half and then like birthday bags you know little action men in uh in i'm actually nearly crying even thinking about this now i remember did you put action men in the birthday bag no action men you know those little parachuting guys oh right i was gonna. Jesus Christ, what kind of lifestyle were you leading? This guy's putting action men...

How fucking tragic would that be? My dad had to literally go out and spend, like, fucking 20 quid on an action man for every kid just to see all of them piss in their pants as someone sort of laid into me. Birthday bags are such a big deal, aren't they? A little slice of cake, a balloon. Maybe like,

yeah, one of those parachute men or some sort of car type thing. You know, it's become quite competitive now. Yeah, I can imagine.

Yeah, I can imagine. The social etiquette of a birthday bag has actually become a new thing for parents to get worried about. Do you reckon it was

back in the day? Because now you see it, people comment on it, man. People actually mention it. Yeah, like this. Did you hear about what they put in their birthday? That kind of conversation happens. It's snidey, man.

It's mainly the swan tipping. I don't know why. What were your birthday parties like as a kid uh i was one of the i was the first kids uh to have a disco as a birthday party um really yeah and wow my dad booked this uh this guy to you know i remember it being a big thing because it went on till nine and everyone was like oh my god what yeah yeah yeah you were like the drippiest kid in the year

yeah big big see this is the difference like yeah how old were you then what age how old was I then like eight or nine

something like that wow yeah but I was listen I was ahead even back then do you know what I mean I just

I was into my music this is where you say oh oh yeah, I had a real tough time, but then you're like the coolest kid at school having a disco. Yeah, but hold on. What you've got to remember, Tom, okay, is that if I was the coolest kid, I wouldn't have to have a fucking disco, yeah?

Do you understand what I'm saying? When you're a kid like me, and yourself, I'm including yourself in this, you've got to put on a party that actually, over and above celebrating your birthday, has got to attract people. You've actually got to think about what the event brings to people. Did you have anyone there who you didn't like?

There were a couple of people I would say on the edge. I wouldn't say there were people that bullied me, but there were a couple of people on the edge. I'll tell you what is very embarrassing. A girl that I was absolutely obsessed with was there. Yeah. And there was a photo that got captured of me sort of dancing near her and it just looks like an innocent photo of a kid dancing you know a boy and a girl dancing near each other but i know what was going through my head like at that time when that photo was taken it really was like well this is my moment i can maybe if i just dance near her she

it'll overcome the fact that she hasn't wanted to talk to me at all in the past two years of being at school with her was she like a new girl in the school no no she was a girl i was upset this is how tragic i i don't know how much this story is going to sort of how interesting this is but i just want or how this gets across how tragic my obsession with this girl was right so we we were we were at primary school together and then we went off to different schools and then i remember like about a year later maybe there was like a trip where we all went away for a weekend and the girls are staying in one room and the guys are staying another i must have been about 11 or 12 or something like that at the time and then the girls came and stayed in our like we all just had like a bit of a sleepover and

the girls came and stayed in our room she was sleeping on the floor this is i'm actually i'm actually embarrassed about how pathetic this is right i was so desperate to sort of engineer a you know like you fall asleep but you fall asleep leaning on one of you leaning on the i'm so desperate to engineer a situation like that. I was on a bed. First of all, I hadn't given up my bed. I was on a bed and she was on the floor. That would have been the obvious thing to do, right?

And then what I did was to try and create some sort of contact. I actually sort of had my legs on the bed and my body sort of over the edge of it. And then my head on the bed and my body sort of over the edge of it and then my head on her on her legs so I was like at a fucking 90 degree angle trying to generate

some sort of all the blood going to your head yeah just absolutely one of the most uncomfortable nights I've ever had literally

so pathetic and she was just probably lying there the whole night just wide awake just going why the fuck is this guy on my legs this is so awful someone calling the teacher because ramesh is

fainting at like three in the morning because all the plants have gone i just couldn't i couldn't walk the whole of the next day i remember uh like i think it was yeah i can't remember what year it'd been but anyway like early years of sort of... Did you do first school, middle school, then secondary school? No, first school and then secondary school. Yeah, so did that weird middle school thing. Oh, no, that's a complete lie. I did first school, middle school.

Yeah, so middle school. First school was sort of obviously, you're sort of just finding your way. You're sort of like middle school sort of is... You're sort of just finding your way you sort of like middle school sort of is you know you sort of stabilize your small your your sort of like place within the crowd is more stabilized isn't it and then sort of secondary school you're sort of like you you are what you are kind of vibe um but i remember at middle school like a a new girl joining the school um and you know like everyone's just like okay like there's a new girl here um she sort of doesn't really sort of she wouldn't know what sort of massive like where my standing is within

things um i remember the first sort of day that she came like she was putting my form class and i was like sitting next she came sat next to me i was like quite a naughty kid at school but not naughty in the way of like being nasty i was just i was i was dyslexic i had adhd so i was sort of one of those thick kids who just sort of made up for the fact i didn't understand stuff by being really really loud and just trying to make everyone like me um an ideal pupil if you want uh and uh anyway sort of i sort of remember sitting next to me and then thinking yeah and i made her laugh a couple of times. And then we had like your school trip. We had a school trip literally like two weeks later. Right.

And she hadn't really talked to many other people before this school trip, but like every school trip, the whole year goes. Right. Yeah. So I sort of like was chatting to her a bit. And I asked her out before the school trip. I said,

you know, would you be my girlfriend? And like to my amazement and surprise she said yes right so that was I think on the Friday we went to the trip on Monday she got onto the coach and dumped me by the time we'd

fucking left the area what did she say? all the other cool kids from the classes she'd been put in this shit class with all the fucking mongrels like myself, like idiots. And all of a sudden she's seen all of this. Yeah, the football team, all the football boys were there, the jocks, the fucking clever kids. She's like the world's opened up.

So she just walked up and she said, I'm finishing with you. So I started crying on the coach. Oh, my God. Well done. So I started crying on the coach. Oh my God. Well done. But our relationship had been for two days where she was at her house.

I was at mine. I think we spoke on the phone once, but I was in pieces. I was broken. Mate, it's horrible. Right. Just felt sick.

And then sort of saw her, saw her sort of popularity with it on that trip. She became the coolest person on that trip. You know, she got on with people. She sort of like, that trip, she became the coolest person on that trip, you know, she got on with people she's sort of like, you know, and what I find though is, if one of the things, and I'd love to give

this as advice to people listening in if any kids listening, if a girl does dump you one of the things they find most attractive is if you start crying and you get really upset about it I was obsessed with Neighbours and Home and Away and I'd seen how people dealt with relationship breakdowns there

this is the saddest thing for a long time after that I would tell people she isn't my ex-girlfriend even like at secondary school I'd tell her secondary school this poor girl just trying to fucking get you out of her life.

Just imagine going to a school that's not even near my house. It's gone county-wide. Every school knows. Yeah, yeah. But you know that thing of someone being like, oh yeah, I know that girl. Yeah, we like her.

I went out there in year five for The thing of someone being like, oh, yeah, you know, did it, oh, yeah, yeah, I know that girl, yeah, yeah, we like her, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just, you know, I went out there in like year five for like sort of like for actually quite a long weekend. It was, yeah, it was, felt pretty deep, felt pretty hard. You know, I've talked about this in the book, so I apologise to anyone who's read the book, all three of you that have read the book and might have seen this story. But so that girl, you know that girl i was telling you about who i did the 90 degree angle the worst the worst thing i don't know if i've

told you this story we went on a trip a school trip to france right and have i told you this before no anyway we were on the trip a few embarrassing thing happened which i won't go into details now but the most embarrassing thing. We're on the bus, getting the minibus from this place back to the airport, right? And on the bus, before we get on the bus, the teacher goes, just so you know, we're not making any stops, so don't drink too much because we're not going to go to the toilet until we get to the airport so i go all right so we all go okay anyway i'm sitting on the minibus and i start talking to her right and it's really going well like the best it's ever gone this this conversation

right and we're chatting to her she's laughing i'm sort of doing doing the thing that i imagine i imagine you and i were exactly the same at school sort of self-deprecating humor where you absolutely talk about yourself like you're a fucking piece of fried dog shit yeah we've both grown out of that now yeah i know thank god we don't thank god our humor doesn't revolve around that anymore but um so so i was i was like doing all that all the chatting and stuff then as we get closer to the as we sort of move on in the journey, Oh, this is the thing that happened.

I had a massive bottle of cola. Right. And as, as I'm chatting to her, I'm just swigging from this. Every time I do a joke, you know, mock the week.

How would they do a smasher? They take a sip of water. That was like me. Every time I did something that made her laugh, I'd like to take a little drink from the bottle of cola. Yeah. Yeah. She's like,

Oh my God, you're crazy. You're so mad. I've drunk only a liter of cola. A little burp, like a little... Yeah, yeah. She's like, oh my God, you're crazy. It's so bad. I've drunk only a litre of cola. Yeah, yeah, I don't care. Yeah, didn't Mrs. Sherlock say that we've got to make sure that we don't drink too much?

I don't give a crap about that. So anyway... You're worried about your teeth? Ah, get another pair, mate. Yeah, yeah, don't worry. I'm going to have a lifetime of dentistry issues, but don't worry about that. Anyway, so... I'd be terrified of the dentist you know yeah i drink a lot of cola

scared shitless of the dentist it's a great combination anyway but that but it's funny you mentioned that drinking a liter if like so i was like maybe nine or ten then maybe i guess right if my kids drank a liter i like like i think if i was a teacher and i saw a kid drinking from a proper full-size bottle of cola i'd be like you can't you can't do that but but back then i don't think people had the same attitude towards sugar man it was crazy anyway i've managed to turn this into a debate about children's nutrition for some reason anyway so I'm drinking the cola as we're getting on in the journey I'm becoming absolutely fucking desperate for a piss like really

desperate but I don't want to let on and also I can't ask the teacher to stop because she specifically said do not drink too much right anyway I start getting to the point where I think okay this is like it's actually burning it's actually burning. It's actually burning. It's just sat there with a big smile of like growing your teeth.

That was exactly it. Just teeth grinding away. Just, I'm in absolute fucking agony. Do you know that thing where you start, you actually start to feel emotional? Like in my head, I started thinking there can't be a God because if there was a god he wouldn't let me need a piss as much

as i do right now so anyway we get to the airport and i'm thinking oh fucking hell thank god right so i get we get out the minibus right all the luggage is coming off that's taking fucking ages right and then you do dancing from foot to foot yeah i'm just sort of like trying to also you know that dance from foot to foot is a giveaway so i'm just trying to stand still so that the so that this so that this girl doesn't let like cotton on to the fact that i'm absolutely bursting this is what happens right we get the luggage onto a trolley we go to the checkout desk and the teacher says and then i go can i go to the toilet right she the teacher says, and then I go, can I go to the toilet? She goes, yeah.

A few of us go, but we're still in view of the checkout desk. I run over to the toilet. Run over to the... How fast are you running? Really fucking fast. As my hand... The sports teachers are sitting there thinking, I might get rangonated in the sprint team. A little fat prick's not moved this quickly all year.

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Oh, Jesus Christ. Just as your bag with your clean clothes is being sent to the fucking luggage department. So, mate, I then go into the toilet. I say, I just go to everyone, oh my God, I've just wet myself, right? One of them... One of them has to go out and speak to the teacher

in front of the whole group. They get my suitcase out, get another pair of jeans, and they get delivered to the toilet. And another pair of underpants. And then I have to come out. Oh my God.

And then get on the flight with everyone. Everyone's seeing I'm wearing a completely different pair of jeans to the ones I had on earlier. Oh my God. Awful. Awful.

Did you sort of mention it ever to anyone? No, do you know what? It's one of those things where I reckon the teacher would have gathered them round and gone, look, while I was sort of getting changed and said, I know this is going to be very embarrassing for Ramesh.

I know this is the fourth time this week. I'd imagine she would have given him like a little chat to go, let's all just pretend this didn't happen. But was it ever talked about at school again? No. You fuck, that's the luckiest thing. No, but I wonder if it was just so humiliating. Honestly, I can't explain it to you.

It was like, the to you it was like the way it happened was like something out of fucking American Pie you know the way they write those things to be the most it was like that so I reckon it was so embarrassing and humiliating pushed it into another dimension it's like when you're on a panel show and they show a funny clip

and they ask you to make a comment on it you can't do anything because the thing itself was funny I reckon that's what it was the satirists at my school were unable to add anything to that because you went to a nicer school than me man like literally that would be you'd be ruined for that sort of thing like there was no fucking gloves there was like it was a bare knuckle kind of vibe i tell you when they did put on gloves to sort of take my jeans back off me to put into the suitcase. And then they put it into a carrier bag. Did any of the teachers come and help you? No.

Did you wash as well? Did I wash? I sort of rinsed down the inside of my thighs by the sink. Fuck you. Can I ask you a question? How hot is the food that you can eat how good are you with spicy food uh you know what i used to be pretty good um i have i've i reckon my hot my key to hot hotness is sort of dropped off i still i still like i still i still vibe a bit with it but sometimes what i'd say is it doesn't like me as much as I like it

without being too graphic. Yeah, yeah. I have the same issue, and sort of without also getting too graphic, I bought these, I was recommended these super hot noodles. I saw your post. Yeah, I'm addicted to instant noodles, right? Can I just say quickly,

actually, just on that? I think my favourite post of, like I said, England are playing. It's one of England's biggest games in a long, long time. Social media,

even me, I'm culpable of this, is just full of people saying it's coming home and fucking, oh, I told you, it's whatever. And then,

in the instant stories, genuinely, it just made me so happy is that you put up a picture of some super hot noodles that you've been recommended no I've never thought of you no but the truth I know do you know what I did actually because you messaged me

I think you just did like I think you just messaged me off the back of that and I realised how mad that must have looked but then also I sort of I was very excited about the game obviously and like realised how mad that must have looked. But then also I sort of, I was very excited about the game obviously and like but I just didn't have anything to add. Do you know what I mean? I think also

when I saw those noodles, I remarked to the other people there who at this time were in a conversation about something else completely different and I basically sort of was ostracised from that moment. I said oh well, these noodles must be good. Romesh has put up with that. Because after the England win, he's put up with that.

Some noodles, that must be better than the England win. Everyone was like, oh, fuck. Is he banging on about the owl again? Yes, we get it. You do a podcast. Anyway, so over the last couple of years, um anyway i ate so so over the last couple of years um i have amended what i eat because of the possible after effects it's a you know because i used to be the thing where i just didn't think about it i'd eat whatever i wanted whenever yeah and i've changed i've changed that with age

that behavior has changed anyway these noodles um were so hot but so amazing like i really enjoyed them what i would say is the payoff of them it's the first time in a long time i've experienced i've had an experience like that very very difficult to i i would describe their movement through my intestine as like it felt like there was a tiny creature with a knife trying to fucking burst its way out of my it was you felt it through your that's real hot mate yeah it was it was pretty full on but i find now it literally goes for all of my organs if i have hot food really like yeah heartburn fucking noticing my lung and kidneys. It's fucking like... You're noticing your lung? Yeah, because of the breathing. Heat.

Oh, I see. Right, okay. Yeah. It's fucking... Yeah, I mean, if I'm honest, I saw those noodles and saw that you put up,

I think I would try them. But... Yeah. Yeah. But you can handle hotter stuff than I can. I'd imagine. Well, I don't know

if that's true anymore. I used to think that was true, but I don't think so anymore. But like Then somebody sent me an article After I posted about them Saying that some bloke had them and went deaf for two days What?

Yeah apparently like He had like a blocked Like blocked sinuses or whatever And where they were so hot they messed with like Whatever gunk he had inside And it like moved to his ear canal What became toxic? And where they were so hot, they messed with, like, whatever gunk he had inside him, and it, like, moved his ear canal or something. What, became toxic?

Not became toxic. It just sort of moved it and loosened it, and then he couldn't hear properly for two days. Jesus. I know. But that's one blow. Yeah, but how bad that they could turn mucus in your body against you. Well, I mean, mucus has never been working in your favour.

Oh, no, no, mucus is there for a reason. No, mucus is your friend. Mucus is the thing trying to start... I mean, I know that never been working in your favour. Oh no, no, mucus is there for a reason. No, mucus is your friend. Mucus is the thing trying to start, I mean, I know that I don't want to out-doctor you, but you're mucus, mate.

You want mucus on your side. In a battle of wits, mucus is the person you're like, oh, I know I've got mucus with me. No, I get it, I get it. Mucus is good.

Again, you've elongated explaining that to me. So where did you watch the game last night? Just with some friends. Just a very chilled vibe. I mean, me and you, are we making a plan

for the semi-final or what? So let's be... Some people have been messaging about this phenomenon of celebs or whatever going to these football matches. And Tom and I have been

talking about the fact that you can get tickets to these games but the prices are... Adidas, big shout out to Adidas for the Scotland games. But my ticket to the Germany game wasn't a gift. It was paid for. If I'm honest with you, I can't afford to be going to it.

The tickets now for semi-finals and the finals are just insane. So, I don't know. We've been offered tickets, but yeah, I wouldn't be able to look my wife in the eye if I paid the amount of money they're saying. Yeah.

I'm sometimes slightly dishonest about things like that. But yeah, I still can't do it. But anyway, let's watch it together, though. We'll watch it together somewhere. I watched the game at home with the boys and Lisa and, um,

it just felt like every time Lisa left the room, England scored. Really? And then, yeah. Have you ever had that thing where you suddenly get a situation? Did you, did you remark about this to the boys and then they were telling her to get out

of the room or? No, I didn't. I, so I noticed it, but I didn't comment on it because for exactly that reason, I know you, I know you're waiting for me to say yes so that you could go in two-footed and go,

could I just say on behalf of the Swan, it was classically despicable behaviour by you or whatever. I didn't comment on it, but Lisa did. But Charlie, what do you think of this? I know you're not a parent, but I'd still be interested in your opinion on this. So three boys, 11, 9 and 6, right? Yeah.

We let the two older ones stay up the whole game, but we made Charlie go to bed at halftime. Is that out of order? Yeah, yeah. I mean, are you going to let him stay up for the semis? I don't know. We haven't talked about it. I don't know.

What do you think? I'd let him stay up. Yeah, I mean, how's Alex? That's what I used to be like. But the thing is, is that when you do that, you're basically going, can I please take a big shit on my following day? Because when they go to bed late,

the next day is a fucking nightmare. You're kind of protecting themselves from themselves, really, in a way. I mean, that's what apparently... Do they sleep in, or...? Charlie doesn't, no. Charlie's like... He was up at six today.

I can't imagine Charlie was happy about it. Was he upset or...? No, he accepted it, man. Do you know what? Credit to that kid. He was grateful that he was allowed to watch the first half. Wow. Yeah.

So, basically, he got sent off, but he didn't, like, have a go at the referee. He basically... Well, what I... You'd be the referee. He'd probably be like, you know, I'd imagine Jadon Sancho. He gets sent off. He doesn't argue with referee. He'd probably be like, you know, I'd imagine Jadon Sancho.

He gets sent off. He doesn't argue with you. He's like, fair enough. Okay, you're just doing your job. And I'll, you know,

I'll take my medicine. Yeah. Do you know what? We're talking about an hour and a half after his normal bedtime, right? So,

you know, it's quite a big concession. The thing that broke my heart is this morning he got up, walks into our bedroom and know, it's quite a big concession. The thing that broke my heart is this morning he got up, walks into our bedroom and goes, what was the final score?

And then we have to tell him that he missed three of the four goals. Were you laughing at me? Were you laughing? It's a sad story. It's a sad story, but I had to let him stay up.

I've literally, I've just literally started that story that it broke my heart. No, but I just, I him stay up. I've just literally started that story that it broke my heart. No, but I just... A little laugh with your little wolf tits off at it. No, I do feel sorry for Charlie.

If I was you, I'd make it up to him somehow. I will do. I will make it up to him. Maybe take him to a soft play or something. Have you got a soft play there? Are you a soft play sitters open? I don a soft play there yet? Are soft play centres open? I don't know if they're opening yet. I don't know.

It would be weird if I knew, wouldn't it, really? You normally, you're an expert when those sort of things are open, Tom. You're always lurking about them. Yeah, yeah. Can you tell me what the term dates are as well for next year? But truthfully, you've given me some food for thought

I might I might talk to Lisa about letting him stay up because semi-finals like who knows when that will happen again well I think it will

happen in Qatar next year but okay but who what I'm saying is who knows and then he'll be a year older and then he'll probably

just be able to watch it so what so what are you saying yeah but also the time difference will be shock a minute for him then alright well I'm gonna I'm gonna let him I'm gonna say to I right. Well, I'm going to let him.

I'm going to say to Lysa. I'm going to say now, let him stay up. I mean, you do take the chance if it goes into extra time and penalties. But, you know, if I'm honest with you, he'll be nodding off by then anyway. I think we've got to make an extra time and penalties decision before the game. Yeah, because let's be honest as well. The final kicks off at like four o'clock. So he'll be fine for the game. Yeah, because let's be honest as well, the final kicks off at like four o'clock. So he'll be fine for the final.

Yeah. Also, if I, you know, Charlie will probably be nodding off anyway. So just basically let him nod off for sleep and then he can sleep on the sofa that night and then just wake up in the morning when you get home drunk. Do you remember being a kid

and your parents, I don't know if this happened to you a lot your parents going to someone's house for like dinner or whatever this happens a lot to me because my parents used to go to someone's house for dinner all the time right because they used to just go to different sri lankan families houses and go for dinner and then you'd be in the car on the way home and you'd fall asleep yeah i used to hate it when we got home after that like i wanted that journey you get so comfortable in the car and then you pull up you pull up at your house and your mum what you normally my dad would come over and sort of just pick you up i used to think just leave me in the car you lock the door leave me in the car

we're just outside the house anyway yeah but obviously that's why kids aren't in charge of their own care because that would be an insane thing to do. It's sad to think that you'll never have that sensation again as an adult. What, of being asleep and being lifted on someone's shoulder? Yeah, and then just put into sort of like, you know, your bed and just sort of waking up the next morning, you're closed but your shoes have been taken off. Yeah, I love that.

Do you remember when you used to go out to sort of like yeah your mum and dad would go in someone's house and they'd you know you'd go and just the feeling of like play and not wanting to go home like the world just seemed like everything felt on a different time i remember like you'd be playing with your mates around that and then you go can we stay the night is obviously the worst thing your parents can just of course you fucking can't are you mad we're trying to figure out a way of leaving this dinner

and you're talking about staying the night you little shit that's what they thought but you'd be so desperate just to like just to extend the night

do you know what I mean it's so especially if one of them had a toy that you'd been after for ages yeah yeah just think fucking unbelievable

this kid I remember going around to a kid's house who had Optimus Prime oh man and I'd just be like One of them had a toy that you'd been after for ages. Yeah, yeah. I just think, fucking, unbelievable. I remember going round to a kid's house who had Optimus Prime. Oh, man. And I'd just be like, this kid doesn't deserve Optimus Prime. You're the coolest kid. Well, actually, he wasn't very cool. His parents actually weren't very happy, but I was about to name him, but I haven't. I stopped short.

Well done. You've shown restraint a couple of times there now. Yeah, yeah. but I haven't I stopped short well done you've shown you've shown us straight a couple of times there now yeah yeah but he had like nearly every mask toy mask crusaders

toy oh yeah like yeah he'd got bounty hill and all that sort of stuff boulder hill

sorry and all that and you know mate it was unreal like his room was like the mask universe

like I remember just like walking into his room and about two years before we'd been at a dinner party there, and his whole room was Star Wars.

But he didn't really like playing with his toys. He was quite... Do you know what I mean? He'd sort of have them, and he'd more model them in situations, whereas I'd give them voices and play with them. And he sort of... Yeah, all my toys... And I used to cover my toys in red marker pen to signal blood.

But, yeah. Jesus Christ. Can you imagine your parents walking in on that? Oh God, he's drawing blood on there. Yeah, but the blood only came off. What is that t-shirt? I love your t-shirt, by the way. It is a goofy

t-shirt. It says goofy like it's Gucci. No, I get that. Oh, sorry, you're actually explaining for the listener. Yeah, I am, yeah. It's from like it's Gucci. Yeah, no, I get that. Oh, sorry, you're actually explaining for the listener. Yeah, I am, yeah. It's from an amazing guy called Bowl Cut Gums. I think I might... Do you know what?

I think I might hit them up. Yeah, I've got some amazing T-shirts. Yeah, yeah. He's a good guy. Actually, while we're on the subject of T-shirts, I want to give a shout-out to Dirty Velvet. Do you know Dirty Velvet? No, I've not seen Dirty Velvet.

They do some nice t-shirts. They've got some funny t-shirts. I was about to describe it and then I realised you just absolutely caked me off. But they've got some good t-shirts. Anyway. You're quite remiss with that,

in a way. What do you mean? You were going to launch in with Dirty Velvet and now you're giving them a half-bucking shout-out. Sorry. I've just got a load of t-shirts

off of them. Painful. And they're just really nice. They've got a load of t-shirts off of them paid for and um they're just really nice they've got like a thing where like this like they do like but the reason i was remiss or whatever i sort of half-assed that is because i couldn't think of a good example of one of the things they've got on there but like they've got one where there's like a there's like a jockey but the horse is riding him do you know what i I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get you. Like political stuff. It's not political, no, but I did really like that.

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Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or shoppers drug Mart today. Time for some emails. Yeah, boy. Uh, hi, Wolf, Al and the real hero.

This one yet again, pandering to that woman's ego. That's why you got selected. Love the pod was hoping you could help me out with a personal dilemma. I've always had really crooked teeth. It's affected my self-confidence. I've never let anyone know it. At the same time, I've had a crippling fear of dentists.

It's a very common problem. In fact, I didn't visit a dentist properly for 15 or more years until recently. Anyway, I've got over my fear now, and I've booked an appointment with an orthodontist to assess options about straightening my teeth. My only worry is due to how long the whole process takes. I was up to two years. As I'm 34, I'm a bit self-conscious about doing this. To put this in some context, I emailed

photos to a dental centre in Turkey who told me they were too crooked for them to help me out. Fucking hell. So I'm really in two minds. Is it a bit ridiculous getting braces in my mid-thirties or should I just man up and live with it? Cheers, the crocodile. Yo, crocodile.

I'm going to come straight in here and give you a little bit of self-reward and I'm going to make you feel better about yourself. I'm having exactly this thing done myself. And I'm 42. I'm having this done after my next job. i'm booked in i'm getting a visalign getting because my my bottom teeth are basically getting more and more crooked and their gaps in them are getting bigger and bigger so i'm gonna get uh get it done so the croc if i can do that

42 you can do it i need you to just stink right uh you're 32 now it'll take two years so you'll be 34 when it's done right the rest of your life will then you know that that thought of your crooked teeth like i hate my bottom teeth getting in pictures and stuff i hate i'm very conscious about them i like you know i i try to talk like that i don't show them too much it's literally the first time you've done anything like that with your mouth. So for two years of, yeah, the braces, they're also, you know, if it's a line, you won't even notice them. So for those two years, you can, yeah, you can go from,

number one, it's a great conversation starter, right? And number two, at the end of it, you're going to have these beautiful straight teeth. You're going to be really happy with your new teeth and i'll tell you what uh you will be riding through confidence city with the most confident car just saying i own life you're croc yeah listen crocodilo let me hit you up with a little bit of extra knowledge for you for that ass i'm doing it too okay are you really yeah So can you see here? Can you see there?

So all of my bottom teeth are crooked, right? There's like a little crooked-y bit. So they want to straighten that out because apparently that's just going to get worse and worse or whatever. So over the next, I think I started in like a month's time. That's so weird that we've not, that's so weird that you and I have just realised

that we're doing it at the same time man I'll probably be after you I'll be in October you know what you and I sometimes I think that we're

as close as we're ever going to be and then something like this happens I think oh my god kindred spirits just send sail on a teeth journey

we're just kindred kith and kin you know that's what we are it's quite nice just to think like again it's going back to that

old thing about this footprints in the sand yeah yeah actually do you know what do you know what we were saying about isn't it nice it's a shame we never had a feeling about being lifted on someone's shoulder and put it to bed but you know what sometimes i feel like just maybe you're putting me on your shoulder. You know, well, I feel the same about you. Sometimes.

Did you notice what I did? I sort of became a bit you-ish. Did you like it? Yeah. No, no, no. I saw what you did.

I was about to say that. Oh, I mean, I could have been you and gone. Yeah, right. But listen, my happiest times are just sitting aside your back.

I sometimes feel like the horse in that picture. Like you're the jockey and you're letting me ride you. Okay. Jesus Christ. Okay. Hope we helped you out, okay next email is anonymous okay hi wolf allen swan uh the email being read out about my wedding day was listened to with great joy even though none of my family did not none of my family did not arrive father was in hospital as an exception the day was fantastic and married life is wonderful just wanted to ask about something which has always

annoyed me but now married i find it even more frustrating i started dating my wife five years ago and spent a lot of time with her my choice my choice because she's always amazing to be around it always came with comments such as me being whipped or under the thumb it really used to annoy me now that we're married people at work and are saying stuff like she's now the old ball and chain or life is never going to be the same again which in my opinion isn't true we still look at each other like we did on our first date i do a lot of the housework cooking because her job is more demanding than mine so i don't mind she's a teacher but again comes back with the comments as bad as me not being manly enough how do i deal with it or somehow are? It makes you question yourself a lot.

But my wife always tells me how she appreciates what I do and that's enough for me as long as she's happy. Anyway, keep up the amazing work. From Anonymous. Anonymous, I wish I knew your goddamn name because you sound like an absolute G. Look, we've talked about this before. A lot of that will come down to jealousy. And I think sometimes that side of things is,

I think it's a sad case of state of affairs, but I think sometimes that is just the way that men think that, you know, in the hierarchy of men, the way that they can get their social standings up a sort of level or two. You know, I actually was at the football the other week with someone who was was literally everything sort of everything nice that anyone else had to say he sort of jumped on the back wing of like sort of talking about kids and it was like sort of everyone sort of talking about

nice moments with their children or whatever he'd be like oh fucking hell yo i've got three of the little and you know and i fucking you, just fucking annoying and all that. And you're like, well, I have them. I have three. I have the one, surely. But I should say that this person wasn't Romesh. Wow. No, to be fair, I would never say that.

I would only say that on stage. Yeah, I know. I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm pulling your plonk on my baby. And then we started talking about uh uh better halves and stuff and he was just like absolutely going to footing in on his and his his wife and i was just thinking either like this is all bluster or none of your you're severely depressed and nothing in

your life which sounds like actually quite an amazing life makes you happy like but you know and then i i i've made a comment about sort of cooking at home and like you said and he was going in like the truth of the matter is after a while I just realised that all he was doing is the same stuff that you know older men that I worked on building sites you know

and being around when I was younger that was just the gusto that they ended like even like even to go to the point of saying, you know what, I'm happy with my lot. I'm happy at home. You know, I'm happy with how stuff's turned out. Would seem like almost sort of like resigned to the fact

that sort of like you're anything but sort of like a geezer. And I think, you know, I think the truth of the matter is, mate, you haven't got to deal with it. Let them deal with it. That's your life. You're running your race. By the sounds of things matter is, mate, you haven't got to deal with it. Let them deal with it. That's your life. You're running your race. By the sounds of things, your wife appreciates you. And if I'm honest, mate, once you both put that ring on your finger,

who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks? You're there to make their life happier, your life happier, and that's what you're there for. And keep doing you, brother. Well, you felt like you got quite angry there about that i just think i just think that people get waylaid by like worrying what too much in this modern world about you know what anyone else thinks and i i say this and i don't say it with jest do you do you like generally do you like it doesn't matter if other people don't like the way

you're living your life if other people don't like the way you are fuck them it really is like you know if you're just there to make your wife happy don't get me wrong if you're like you're going out on the weekends with placards that's slightly on the wrong side of fucking life then you've got a problem but if people have got the zig with you because you're trying to make the person that you love make their life easier and do nice things for them and people are giving you shit for that that's not that's not on you that's on them and like yeah just yeah it grinds my gears great advice from tom there uh i do think like blokes have this thing where they feel like they have i think it's gone away a little bit but the blokes do have this thing where they feel like they have, I think it's gone away a little bit,

but the blokes do have this thing where they feel like they have to sort of slag off their situation at home. It's sort of the thing that they go to. I remember like when my dad had the pub, just like the way that people would talk about their other halves was incredible. Do you know what I mean? It's been like,

anyway, I better finish this pint and get back to her. Otherwise she'd be fucking on my case. You know what? She's like fucking. I just think to myself, do you know how great's been like, anyway, I better finish this pint and get back to her. Otherwise, she'll be fucking on my case. You know what? She's like, fucking. I just think to myself, do you know how grateful you should be that somebody wants to spend their life with you? I mean, it's just so mad. Do you know what I mean?

It's so mad that you could be dismissive of this. Somebody wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Like, fucking hell. You know know just jumping on that the thing that used to get me when like fucking people used to do that and i was single a lot this time but if a guy would sort of say exactly what you said there and then you know what fuck it i'm gonna have another one yeah everyone would treat him like he just got back from a war i was some sort of fucking hero there's a backslap and then someone would turn around and

go all right grant i'm getting this one and go hey Grant I'm getting this one for you what no I'm getting this one for you mate if you have him one more I'm getting that pint and everyone would cheer that guy you know what I mean and you think there's a woman somewhere just sitting there and she's made him dinner I know I know it's horrible

and this is a meekness that he'd come back with and go sorry Grant's going through some stuff so I'd say one more pint with him it's funny man it's like And this is a meekness that you come back with and go, sorry, yeah, Grant's going through some stuff, so I just have one more point with him. Yeah, it's funny, man. It's like you constantly find yourself in conversations where somebody's really putting the boot in on their missus or whatever, and then you feel like you sort of think, I should say something to sort of join in with the conversation.

Do you know what I mean? And then I just feel so bad. I don't feel the same way. Do you know what I mean? But then I just feel so bad. I don't feel the same way. Do you know what I mean? But anyway, that's slightly different to what you're talking about. What I would say is this would be a problem if you were unhappy about it.

But if you're not unhappy about the situation at home, it just doesn't matter. Your mates, all these people that give me these comments, they've got, a lot of the time when people say this stuff, it's coming from an insecurity their end, right? So possible that these people are having to go to you don't do as much for the at home for their other halves and so they're seeing you do more than that and they've got two options to believe they can either believe that they're inconsiderate and they don't do enough at home or they can believe that you're whipped and that you are you're not running your relationship

properly and that's the reason you do it and that option means that they don't have to accept any of the blame so that's the easier option for them to to go to right and so that is why they're having to go at you about it in whatever however jokily they're framing it what i would say to you is um you're doing it right keep uh engaging your relationship the way that you are. The fault is with these other people. You take your relationship and you take it to the max. Okay? That's my advice to you.

Wow. I love how you got the max there, boy. Yeah, which is that you did do you, and I'm really trying to take it to the max to sort of stick. Maybe get a tattoo of it. Maybe I should. Where should I get that done? Just like as a tramp stamp.

Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Every time Lisa's pegging me, she can see it. Pegging you? When you're doing the washing up oh god oh god okay hi Swan, Al and Wolf

thanks so much for the podcast love it and I'm coming to see Romesh in January after years of trying to sell my house thank it. And I'm coming to see Romesh in January. After years of trying to sell my house. Thank you, by the way, for coming to see me. After years of trying to sell my house, I finally did it and have bought what we feel is our dream home. It's been quite the process, but moved in two weeks ago and immediately felt delighted with it.

Within five days of living in said dream home, my oldest friend of 50 years had an offer accepted on the house next next door she asked me my opinion saying the friendship was worth more than any house i gave it but the deal had already been done i've been absolutely livid as i think it's a really odd thing to have done i'll add that i just don't believe that they love the house which makes it all the more odd to me i explained that although i loved it a bit it just felt strange being neighbors her daughter has got involved and dragged my daughter into it to the point that we were all a bit fallen out they now said that they pulled out the cell but the developer is saying that's not the case i don't feel like i've done anything wrong and still feel upset disappointed and mad about it i'd love to know what you guys think i'd rather you didn't include my name for obvious

reasons but keep doing you your sweet sweet souls uh wow this is quite a tricky this is quite a tricky one isn't it you know what this of all the conundrums that we've steered, all the things we've been through, this is a very tricky one. Because the difficult thing is, right, and respect to this person, because they've shown the card of saying, like, you know,

oh, I don't feel easy about this. So, I mean, they've done that i'd have set an email and go what should i do first off and i'd have said we have to suck it up because what would be worse is if you say something and they still go through the cell find this house and then end up living next door to you and you've fallen out uh that would be the most awkward situation um the truth of the matter is i don't know what what you could even do for now i suppose it's a sit down. I suppose if your kids have all got involved,

it's going to make it even worse. You know, it's going to sort of get, I think it's a strange, strange thing. Number one, that this person didn't come to you and say, Hey,

um, that we've looked at the house. They thought you were thinking about buying you. Would that be weird? Right. That would be the first, that would be the, that the bads with that situation

that they've not done that. But having not done that and then just sort of as a surprise brought a house next door. I mean, that is generally me buying a house next door to you. I don't know if I'd mind that, to be honest with you. I think I'd quite like it. I'd like to live next door to you. That'd be fun.

Yeah, it would be a laugh. But then, but then, you know, it becomes, it could become quite overly toxic, like all the time. What would you do? You're not going to be knocking on the door all the time.

Yeah. Well, if I live next door to you, mate, you've seen how much I text and call you. If I live next door to you, there's a good chance that like, if I was bored,

which happens quite a lot, cause I have quite serious ADHD, or if I'm going through any kind of anxiety, my wife would go, why don't you just go and knock on my message door, see how he is. And then, because you wouldn't be in,

you'd be on tour, and end up just chatting to poor Lisa, or Alex, or Charlie, or I mean Theo's too old now, he'd just tell me to piss off, but. I've become that annoying that fucking Charlie

would start moving his bedtime forward. Charlie, it's only four o'clock. No, no, no, no. It's all right, Pink Tom. I like to get an early night. You're sleeping right through till nine. Yeah, I still think I'd like it if you lived next door to me. I'd love it. I would love it.

I mean, look, if you're up for it. I don't know if I could afford to live in your... I'm saying hypothetical. Yeah, but I couldn't afford to live in your neighbourhood just now. Oh, here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, no, but in my dreams,

I could fucking afford a house on Maple Pines. Oh, God. Well, look, this is what I think about this, is you've got a... The situation you've got is that, you know, you've kind of implied why you're so upset about this. Because you've brought your dream home. You've brought your dream home. You've been building up to this for ages and ages.

And then your mate's just gone and done the same thing. And that is, you know, suddenly you sort of feel slightly threatened by that, I think. You know, like it's sort of, this is the thing that you've been building up to. And then suddenly somebody you know is doing exactly the same thing. And there's a bit of, I'm not going to say, it's not an ego thing. It's just like you feel like your dream's slightly being tarnished by the fact that your friend's moving in next door. But like Tom said, the absolute worst would be if they moved in next door

with you having fallen out I honestly think as I do with a lot of these things and so I apologize if this isn't helpful is this is as big or as small a deal as you make it in your head I just think that if what what I would advise you to do is actually try and quantify what the problem is here like what what is it because what you've talked about is i think this is a bit weird etc why like like make a list of the negatives that's going to have on your lifestyle as a result of it is it because you think that they're going to knock on your door all the time in which case you can say that to your friends do you think it's because it's going to be, they're going to

be too much in your life? Well, say that, you know, these things can be controlled and managed. If it's just because you feel a bit pissed off that this is your dream move and now they're doing your dream move, it feels like they've copied you. Well, you can just let go of that straight away. You can just stop feeling like that if you want to, if you choose to. So it's like a thing of like figuring out what exactly about this annoys you you know because the truth is what about what about that annoys you might be something that you've just created if it's something tangible those things can always be dealt with but it doesn't feel like you've kind of figured out what exactly is it annoys you about

it so that is some sweet sweet advice man, man. Oh, thanks. Thanks, you. That is genuinely, I'd say that's up there with your best advice you've ever given on this podcast. Genuinely. Well, thank you so much. And I think actually that isn't just advice for this situation. I think that is good advice for anyone going through anything. If you wanted to take one thing away from this podcast

in its 45 episodes, That advice is there. Boom. Wow. Thanks, Tom. That's really sweet of you. I'm waiting for the little rug pull there. No, there's no rug pull. Do you know what I think you've done?

It's for any adult listening to this who's maybe sleeping on a problem in the back of a car. You've picked them out of the back and you go, rest your head on my shoulders. I'm going'm gonna take you to bed why don't you put yourself on the floor and i'll pivot myself at a 90 degree angle cinch myself at the waist and put my head in your sweet sweet shins give myself some quite serious internal problems just in a desperate attempt to make it feel like you and i just okay my urethra from my

penis you are not going to sleep a wink the whole night i love the idea that that's her flip of that story is her sitting there going yeah and it's like weird boy who was in our school rested his head on my legs um she actually she actually got in touch with me did she really yeah and said i had no idea that that was a that was what it was like from your end i don't know how the sleeping on the shins didn't give it away but that is the sort of thing that you would say isn't it yeah you know i had no idea that that i wonder if she heard that story and read that story and just looked at whoever she's with a husband who i'm sure is called like Douglas or fucking Fabian or something. And was like, oh my God, that was me.

I was that girl. Yeah. And Fabian went, let's have sex again. Okay, Tommy, it's about that time, brother. okay Tommy it's about that time brother what a beautiful hour of chat this has been what happened there

you just sort of you look like you surprised yourself I know I knocked my knocked my elbow on these one blade blades from Philips what is it

what is that what do you store in that room because I don't know what it is you don't have in that room. It's just loads of bits and bobs. Actually, one of them here. Best beard oil I've ever had. Tom Ford.

Really? It's beautiful. You were talking about that the other day. We were coming back from the league record. It's just changed my beard. How's it changed your beard? So soft. Really? Yeah, man. Soft, it changed your beard? So soft. Really?

Yeah, man. Soft, it's thick, it's luscious. It was a good boy. I can't stop touching it. I'm like, yeah. It's, you know, like, when you're a little boy and you first find out

you've got a woolly and a ball and you've got to fill them with them. I'm not out with my beard now. I first found, my first time I found pubic hair was in a Chinese restaurant. Not in the mail. I went to

the toilet. Did you come back and tell everyone? I think I might have told my mum, you know. How old were you? Twenty... Twenty... No, sorry. It's such a one joke. I can't remember, like 10 or 11 maybe?

Maybe 11. I remember it being, like 10 or 11 maybe? Maybe 11. I remember it being a single hair. Yeah, that's how they come. I remember the underarm ones, like one at a time. Weasley old traveller, you've really got to respect that first hair in any body part. Hello, my little pioneer. How you doing? The one that I fucking wasn't so happy to see was the first hair that fucking rocked up

on my fucking arse. Like an unwanted army. Yeah. The other one I'm not too keen on is a couple of

ear-c***s have started to appear. Yeah, you know what that's the trouble with hair? At first they're just all in the places that you

want and then they just get it's like a zombie war of hairs. It's like, guys, we're going to head off. We're going to

leave here and we're going to head to exactly where this guy doesn't of hairs. It's like, guys, we're going to head off. We're going to leave here. And we're going to head to exactly where this guy doesn't want us. That's the big idea. For me more than anyone. Because hair has taken over my whole body, apart from the one place it's supposed to be. Small fucking community on the fucking top of a mountain have gone, right, let's get a helicopter out of here.

Look what's happening below. Oh, God, Tom. What a pleasure to chat to you this week, brother. Okay, can you do us the honour of taking us out? Yo, what is hope? What is hope? Hope is the feeling that something amazing, something incredible is going to happen.

And there's a lot of people in the world who will say it's the hope that will kill you or don't hope for amazing things because they might never happen. I argue this because for me, hope is the greatest feeling of all. It's the apprehension that something's going to change something big's going to change and the the space in your heart that used to be full of certain things can there's something else that's going to be added to it a moment or something else that you kept the faith with that you believed that that this thing this one

thing was going to take over, was going to happen. Some people don't ride on the wave of hope because they think that that wave might never make it to the shore or they feel silly for even getting on the wave so they just watch other people surf. And when those people fall just before the shore or when those people can't surf and they can't ride the board, they go, oh, I told you so.

But what they don't realise is for those few seconds that people stood upon the the wave of hope on a surfboard that they would go oh my god this is amazing and yes they fall flat in the sea but they they tried and they believed at least for a second so i'm saying to you all now next time something comes into your life and it could be the smallest of things and if you are asked to hope and to believe and to dream do it not for the outcome but for the ride oh mate that last line was a killer holy shit did you know you were building up to that no i made it all up in the sub spot that was beautiful my guy my guy That was beautiful. Okay. Okay.

I had to jump off the back of that advice that you gave. Oh, my God. That last line was insane. Holy shit. I mean, the whole thing was good, but I didn't think you were going to pull out a punchline like that, my dear. That's somehow how I roll. And you know how I roll like that? Because every time I get tired

and I get frail, I've got the best of friends who helps me to bed. Thank you for being you, brother. Oh, my God. Oh, Tommy. oh Tommy what a pleasure mate guys

we will see you on Friday hopefully unless something happens and we could be Euro European Championships finalists

yes absolutely right what an excitement oh shit speaking of which have you got a prediction for the Denmark game? Yeah, I have. I think it is.

I think it'll be slightly tougher, but I think we've got goals in this one. And I don't think we're going to concede. So I will go... I'm going to go 3-0. Okay, so Tom's gone 3-0. Sorry, I sort of was surprised there by... It can be tougher.

It doesn't sound that tough. No, but I think there'll be more resilience. But I think we've just got the means now. I think the was surprised there by, they're going to be tougher. That doesn't sound that tough. No, but I think they'll be more resilient, but I think we've just got the means now. I think the confidence is there. I doubted you last time. So listen, if you listen to this, lump on, lump on, lump on. I'm going to go 1-0.

We'll see what happens. Yeah. Well, I just think Denmark are tough. Denmark are tough, but mate, Harry Kane, Ster Sterling Sancho Grealish Foden mate the list

this mount the list can go on and I tell you who Harry Maguire has got a taste of goals now and I tell you there's one thing Harry Maguire loves eating

that's goals he loves eating goals mate get ready because it's a coming home he's going to be he's going to be he's going to be tucking into a big plate of gulls

you know what he does first thing in the morning he can have a bowl of gulls and he adds some milk and he fucking eats it that's what Harry Maguire does okay guys thank you very much

see you next time love you bye if you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

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