Wolf and Owl - Episode 41

Episode Date: September 15, 2021

We’re talking… late night food orders, the evolution of ovens, the cult of air-fryers, body odour issues and deodorant mash-ups. Then some of your email questions answered on the appeal of lab-grown meat products, wearing a football shirt on a first date and moving things on in a relationship. For any feedback, questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda.

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Visit the Tim's app for details. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts, get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. with a gang of crows. Fuck their censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello everybody. I hope you're well. Welcome to The Wolf and the Owl, a podcast by two idiots, one who calls himself an owl and one who calls himself a wolf. Now, there are some podcasts out there that might have a theme or they might have a structure

or they might even have a little bit of planning done before the podcast start getting recorded. We like to do things a little bit differently over here at wolf and owl house uh what you're about to listen to is two friends completely unprepared apropos of nothing just having a conversation and just in case you're under any illusions nothing you hear has been pre-written or scripted this is all completely improvised and when you start to hear the level of quality of the content i think you'll start to believe us so kick back put on your earphones and let the waves of wally don't say your ears don't say a word no but you know what it means all right no you look proper chill blade sitting there you look good yeah you look good thanks thanks how you acclimatize them to be back in england

not living in your villa vibes uh yeah good i like it i'm enjoying it i did something quite disgusting last night where I got back from filming last night really late. And on the way back, I ordered a massive Wagamama's. Oof. And then I let everyone sleep in the house. And then I let myself in. Wagamama's arrives. And I just sort of sit there. You know what it

reminded me of you know if you're watching a movie and they're trying to set up how depressing a guy's life is yeah just sort of just you know this sort of follows him in through the corridor picks up the takeaway and it's just a guy it's just me with like three different massive pots of food just on my own just fucking shoveling it and a couple of times because i was sort of watching something i was watching something on my laptop so a couple of times i put too much food for the size of my mouth into my mouth oh man and then just sort of work it like work it down like a fucking snake you know the world thing is when you've got a beard as well there's no hiding dribbling right right right yeah yeah when you've got a beard as well there's no hiding dribbling right right right

yeah yeah when you've got like it's like obviously for you it's like you've got a towel or a Brillo pad around your whole face at the moment

it does sort of imply that my beard's sort of disgusting I know you watch it every morning bacterial mess or it's sort of trapped food

and shit that's not made into my mouth like the twits you know you're saying about um that's not made it into my mouth. Not the twits. You know, you're saying about, like, because I've been filming up in Liverpool, so it's a man one when you sit and eat.

Like, there's no limit on the food. Like, I've got into sort of like, I was like, oh, you know what, I'm going to be a little bit healthy and get into sort of like Lebanese or Turkish food, just like kebabs, rice. And I was like, I'd go in there with all the intention of that being the thing I want to eat. And then with that,

you'll end up with like, oh, I might get some halloumi. And I might get those things you do with lamb and potatoes. Oh, and you know what? Throw in some sausage. And before you know it, you sit in there

just with a fucking pile of mass food. Yeah. There's something about the psychology of like... So when I was looking at that, when I was in the car psychology of like so so when i was looking at that when i was in the car on the way home i was looking at the waggers menu and um i was looking for nothing i like that i like that i like that and most people would think well why don't i have that today and then another day in the future when i decide to have i can i can try

the other thing not for me my fear of of missing out you know my fear of being in the middle of something eating something and then going i could have also i could have had that that would have that is it no yeah but i'm with you on that there's nothing worse than like if you if you sit there and like feel like a bit of a pig and you've wolfed your way through a load of food right and you there's something quite rewarding about that right but if you sit there and go well man i wish i ordered those spring rolls or i wish you know that where i sit on wagon mommas man like i can't get my head around like i think it's prawn crackers as i've said time and time again would just be amazing if they could just get prawn crackers or something to alleviate the ramen

like you know it's not a condition. Ramen is not an infection. No, no, if you don't... It's not an ache. It doesn't need alleviating. It's not back pain. No, but it's a pain to eat it sometimes without prawn crackers. Have you ever had prawn crackers with a ramen?

No. I can't really have prawn crackers. No, I can't have prawn crackers. Oh, man. I have to get some sort of non-prawn substitute. I think they're called crackers. No, you can get prawn crackers that don't have prawn in them. You can get the spicy ones, right?

There's such a needless inclusion of prawn, by the way. Yeah. Nobody that enjoys prawn crackers, nobody in the history of eating prawn crackers, has said, you know what really makes these? The prawn. I think it's just prawn flavouring, right? It's not actual prawns. It depends on where you know what really makes these? The prawn. I think it's just prawn

flavouring, right? It's not actual prawns. It depends on where you get your prawn crackers from.

I think the high-end prawn crackers have got a bit of prawn in. I like the really cheap

ones. I like the really cheap puffy ones. Yeah, yeah. They're the best ones.

Have you ever tried to fry them up yourself? Yeah, it's not the same as poppadoms,

it's just not the same. People have started doing that with pasta. Oh, mate, you've got an air fryer, haven't you? Yeah. Have you ever tried to fry them up yourself? Yeah, it's not the same as poppadoms. It's just not the same. People have started doing that with pasta. Oh, mate, you've got an air fryer, haven't you? Yeah. Have you heard about this pasta thing? What pasta thing? If you stick pasta in the air fryer, it sort of puffs up like a

nice little crispy snack. Really? Yeah. Hold up. Do you have to... By the way, guys, just so you know, as you know, Tom is not one for allowing an interruption to throw him off his game. But he's literally just got so excited about the prospect of a new snack

that he's got access to for his air fryer, a new way to fucking jerk off about his air fryer. He's buzzing. Go on. So do you use dry pasta or do you use cooked pasta? Great question. I think it's dry pasta or do you use cooked pasta? Great question. I think it's dry pasta. I mean, listen, I didn't pay that much attention because I don't have an air fryer.

But apparently it tastes great. I find it insane, insane that you haven't got an air fryer yet. You find it insane? Yeah. I've told you so many times. You would happily, hold on. So you'd happily, if you were having a conversation about me How's the podcast going?

Yeah, good. But you know, that bloke is insane. Absolutely insane. Do you think people in a million guesses will think that means I don't have an air fryer? Right. Imagine back in the day when someone first invented ovens and people had been cooking on

open fires, right? Sure. And someone turned around and said, why are you cooking on an open fire when you could get an oven to cook in? What's an oven? Oh, like you could put the food in, you put a timer on, and it will cook it for you. That's what you think the next direct step from fires was?

Of course it was. You think it went directly from open fire, from cooking an open fire, to a fully installed oven with a timer on it? No, it wasn't fully installed. It was in caves. Stop cooking on that fire, mate. I've got a double oven and microwave here.

Right. We'll just hollow out this section of cave here. It'll just slot right in. Right. You can put some inserts around it that are cave-coloured, so you won't even see the joins. Well, it was right. You've got a thing in your head, right? Okay?

It was like, basically it was like four, six bits of metal. Guys, I've just watched Tom try and count how many sides there are in a cube with his hands. He couldn't even fucking visualise it.

So there's six bits of metal, right? One of them's got an opening in, which is the door. Yeah? Sorry, are you thinking that i'm still cooking on fire yeah you're the one cooking on fire and i'm coming okay oh right so this is a role play right so i come up to you and go oh you're all right mate how you doing oh you're still cooking on fire yeah yeah i am yeah i'm cooking everyone's cooking on fire that's how we cook not me i've basically invented i've got six sheets of metal? What are you doing that with your hands? Just so I can show you how it works.

Right. And one of them opens and I put food in there and it cooks quicker. Also, there's two sheets of metal which acts as shelves in there. What are shelves? Oh, shit. Sorry, man. Yeah, looking around your cave,

I can see you haven't even got shelves. So, you know, sometimes we'll find ornaments and like skulls and stuff ornaments um well you know that wooden cup that your wife made the other week yeah that's what we class as an ornament yeah stop looking at my wife's cup by the way so you you basically it's a place for you to put your skulls and your ornaments and stuff. Okay. And your crockery. So what outcome? You've got a shelf in your, what's it called?

Oven. So then I can put my food, like my pig's carcass or my lamb in there. And then I light a fire underneath the oven. Can I tell you something? I'm getting fed up of having to keep saying pig's carcass every time we're making pig's carcass. We should try and think of a shorter word. What about pork?

Well, let's see how that catches on. I think for you, it's probably worth you getting your head around having oven works before you start thinking you're the king of the kitchen like Gordon Ramsay. Basically, mate, it will change your life. It will stop you chowing food, and it will make sure the food is cooked inside and out. Get yourself an oven.

Well, thank you so much. I think I will. Yeah, but unless it's you, Robesh, you probably wouldn't. You'd just keep on cooking on fire. Why would I keep cooking on fire? Because it's the same thing with the air fryer. you've heard incredible feats that the air fryers get accomplished right and you're still like oh i'm not sure if i'm gonna get one i don't know whether to you know no it's not i'm not sure i'm gonna i'm gonna whether i'm gonna get one i'm not

considering buying one at all why not what's what's so good about it okay okay sell it to me now sell it to me now if I had a friend and I told him like oh my god you've got to meet Aaron he's incredible he's such a laugh he's such a good guy would you want to meet him

yeah exactly would I yeah but do I have to pay to meet Aaron no and will he sit on my kitchen worktop forever

because that sort of affects things right in a way you have to pay to meet because you've got to buy him a drink when you get there, right? And then... Can I just...

This is how it goes down. Oh, sorry, I'm going to introduce you to my mate Romesh. Great thing about him, you get a drink out of the muggy little prick. I've told him he'll get you a beer, so don't worry about it. No, I know I said I'd get him in,

but listen, trust me. He'll get at least two rounds before we can slip off. He's 30 quid in the water and we're down the road. Okay, go on. So tell me about this air fryer. How much do they cost, first of all? I think now you probably get one for about 150 quid.

Okay. I would describe that as a significant kitchen investment. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, to be brutally honest, if I'm going to be, because I have to be honest with you, I think I probably would have used my air fryer four months ago. Okay, so why? So if you want my old one, you could buy my old one from me,

so it won't be as expensive. Yeah, but then you won't have one. Is that what you're saying? Well, no, I could probably get a new one at some point. You don't like your air fryer, do you? When I said to you, okay, this is... By the way, this is un-fucking-believable,

right, what's just gone down. I'm just saying to you... So, the reason you got excited about me saying about the pasta is because you thought, finally, there might be another use for this piece of shit that i was raving about non-stop in in in the similar manner to somebody would if they

they felt like they'd found god right we cast our minds back to you first getting the air fryer the amount of shit you were spouting about it you've just had a go at me about not getting an air fryer and now we discover you've been unmasked. Your air fryer is useless. No. Well, okay. I think maybe I could probably give you my own air fryer.

I don't want your air fryer. I don't want your air fryer. Listen, let me explain something to you. I don't want, I don't want your air fryer. If you give me 50 quid. Okay.

Right. I do not want your air fryer if you give me 50 quid. Okay? Right? I do not want your air fryer. Right, okay. When's Lisa's birthday? For a number of reasons. When's Lisa's birthday? April. Oh, okay.

So, look, what about Christmas? Right? I've still got a box for it. Yeah. I'll get a wife out for you. Right? So you won't even notice everything. What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? A wife out for you, right? So you won't even notice everything. Why did that sound so awful? Right? Yeah. You give it to her for Christmas and see what she thinks. I think she'll think you've given me a used air fryer. I wonder how long it'll take me to go through the admin of leaving you. She might enjoy it.

She might get a kick out of it. She'd do like Christmas potatoes in it. Just cut the shit. Cut the shit. Okay. Do you regret buying the air fryer? Yeah. Yeah, a bit.

Yeah. The truth of the matter is... What were you making? You're making chips and stuff, right? Yeah, but they're never as crispy as real chips. Right? This is not what you used to say to me. Yeah, but good

right I thought if you got one as well then we'd be like the air fryer brothers right okay at first

if I'm honest with you I thought oh you know what after a while we'll get the hang of it and it will be because if you

watch right you can watch YouTube and fucking Instagram people doing like fucking incredible things in them but now like what what sort of things are you talking about because if you watch right you can watch YouTube and fucking Instagram people doing like fucking incredible things in them but now

like what what sort of things are you talking about really crispy chips nice spring rolls you're playing fast and loose with the word incredible I'd say

right but actually as an average or probably below par fucking air fryer person right

air fryer mate it's impossible to get the same satisfying... Why is it impossible? What have you got to do? Because you haven't got the ore. The crispiness isn't there.

Yeah, but why are they able to do it and you're not? What level of technique do you need with an air fryer that you can... You know what I think? Look,

I do not want to get into any sort of argument with fucking air fryer people because I know they've got quite cultish and I was a part of that for a time. You know,

admittedly at the lower echelons of it, right? But I think there's a lot of people out there putting stuff in real fryers or deep oil fryers, right? Frying their stuff so it's crispy and brown

and then putting it into the fucking air fryer. And I think, yeah, there's a bit of that going on why to what end what purpose are you doing that for so people look and go oh fucking oh look how amazing

that's why I brought one because I saw how crispy and brown stuff was coming out honestly mate I tell you now I've put so much stuff in there never once have I ever taken a bite of something

and gone oh that's incredible that's amazing that's just like it you were raving about it to me when you had it yeah, that's incredible. That's amazing. That's just like it. You were raving about it to me. Yeah, but I... That's all you talked about. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, because I think at the time... You're literally just not on this, during this conversation, compared the innovation of the air fryer to the invention of the first oven. Yeah, because I was trying to get rid of my air fryer. I wanted you to take it off me. Look, I do think given time and an investment

in time you can make it work for you but at the moment in my life i've got so many things going on i can't give that much time to being great at what do you mean give too much so much you're not learning spanish you're using a fucking air fryer yeah wait why why do you need to invest time in it because it's not like okay look have you ever used a deep fat fryer yeah wait what why do you need to invest time in it because it's not like okay look have you ever used a deep fat fryer yeah beautiful things great invention yeah you can't fuck up with it you do everything that you try doing donuts in a uh air fryer or you just get it slightly cooked done you do deep fry you deep fry i just i just i just imagining you sitting all excited raving to katherine about how you're about to have the most delicious donuts ever and then a sad look of disappointment is it did you like

did you make donuts in it i've made tried to make everything and let me tell you what yeah it might it's everything i've ever cooked in it has been a massive anti-climax it's like it's a reaction of anything that comes out of that air fryer then there was a part of me that thought oh you know what it'll be amazing when we're cooking Christmas dinner I would never give my air fryer the responsibility of doing a roast potato, a parsnip

a carrot on the most important cooking day of the year maybe stop trying to cook your vegetables individually of course you do when it trying to cook your vegetables individually. Well, of course you do when it comes to Christmas dinner, you do. How do you do yours? What do you mean, how do I do mine? Well, how does Lisa do it?

Who does the Christmas dinner at your house? Me. I always have. Why are you frying anything? No, I'm not frying anything. I'm just saying. Why are you using... Let me explain something to you. This is what I don't understand about you. I just feel like

you're expecting too much from this fucking air fryer. When you make Christmas dinner, you use an oven. I feel like I'm telling you now, I've heard of an oven, right? Nobody's deep frying their Christmas dinner. Why the fuck are you trying to air fry it? No, because to get crispy carrots

or crispy parsnips, look, mate, how big do you have to be? No, no, no. Look, look, for Christmas dinner, right, I know you're a good cook, right? Yeah. Do you deep fry your vegetables? No.

No. Well, you know what? If I had someone who, like, a responsible enough sidekick, a.k.a. a deep-fryer, there's a good chance that I might like to get my potatoes even crispy i give them a little whopping some hot oil because what you know one of the things that people say about christmas dinner is it's tasty but too light in calories how do we step this up a level or two right have you ever had uh tempura sprouts the truth of the matter is, mate... No, I've not ever had tempura but can I just, just while we're on this

topic, tempura vegetables are just... I love them so much. I do, they're good. They are delightful. Okay, yeah, alright, if they're good. Can we just assume that I mean when they're good?

I try to do that. I love tempura vegetables. Do you, Tom? Tom yeah as long as they're not the shit ones well yeah that's implicit in what I'm saying no right I tried to do the air fryer

turned into an absolute disaster what happened they just none of the like batter stuck to the vegetables so you just ended

all like a layer of batter and then some vegetables you think you're just not doing it for long enough I just don't think the air fryer knows what it's doing

I think it's just, look, I think there was a real cleverness to the person who invented it, right? And I'd like to shake them by the hand. Then I'd like to sit with them with the diagrams

and the plans that they had to make it and go, right, look, I think this is how we could have done it better, mate. We needed more oil, maybe. I don't know. Why were you telling me that you really liked it at the beginning, then? Were you trying to convince yourself?

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Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Do you know why, Romesh? And this is a very open thing that I'm going to tell you right now about me as Tom Davis and the wolf, and I'm going to come out and say it. I'm something of a sheep when it comes to it. Everyone was getting air fries. This is so pathetic. Let me just go back and tell you how pathetic it is.

I was the last kid in my school to be able to ride a bike. Right? Right. I used to make up. I'll tell you what. As a kid, I had a skateboard that I couldn't use. Right? Before we carry on with the story, JT, can you

add a little bit of sad music underneath this? Because Tom is about to use childhood impoverishment as an excuse for why he bought an

air fryer. No, no, no. So basically, here we are, right? I couldn't use a skateboard, right? Other kids could use skateboards and be

like, oh, mate, I went down the hills and mountains or whatever. I busted some fucking sweet twelves or whatever, right? use skateboards and be like oh mate I went down the hills and mountains whatever I busted some fucking sweet 12s and whatever

right I used to pretend that I'd been I used to pretend that I'd been out skateboarding because I was too embarrassed

to say that I couldn't use a skateboard right same thing with a bike right and the air fryer

was probably an adult version of that. I did not want people to look around at me and go, oh, he can't use an air fryer. He's not able to. I didn't want that on my resume as a human being. So when the world was going fucking air fryer crazy, I enjoyed being a part of that.

Sue me. Tom, I really enjoyed that story the only thing that I was sort of challenged on that is, you're literally the only fucking person that ever mentioned an air fryer to me so

you're talking like air fryers were at Love Island or flat screen TVs or something. Like, nobody was talking about air fries, Matt. Like, I don't know what circles you're socialising in. I'd say... You're the only person that was talking about air fries to me.

I think you're right. I think, like, probably 30% of the world's population were on... 30% of the world's population were talking about air fries. Yeah. I think during lockdown, when everyone was worried about like cooking. That shows such a depth of lack of understanding of what level most of the world is operating at.

Okay. 30% of the Western world was talking about air fries. Talking about air fries. Okay. Yeah. I can't believe I'm accepting that fucking ridiculous statement as your compromise position. But go on.

People were talking about it because I think it gave, it was a healthier way of people eating the snacks that they want. Restaurants were closed. People wanted that restaurant crispness, that fucking vibe, and they couldn't get it. And that's where Air Fryers stepped in and went, oh, hi there, we can help out. And that's why I always respect Air fryers for their like their intention but in the end i just don't think it worked out

for them yeah okay so did you have you ever had you ever made anything that you enjoyed from the air fryer uh i made some sweet potato fries it's just the crispiness was hard to get that's what i mean about cooking vegetables in it for Christmas dinner. You would probably have to cook them without them being too crispy and you don't use a lot of oil. It might come in useful at Christmas. That's all I'm saying. To me? Are you still trying to get me to

take this air fryer? I'm just saying that if you and Lisa have only got a small oven... When have I ever said that Lisa and I have only got a small oven? What, have you got an auger?er no I've not got an auger you know the lowest point of my week this week has been the fact during filming I had

the worst BO I've ever had in my life how were you made aware of this BO? Right, let me just, so the thing we're filming at the moment is set in the 80s. And so all the costumes are retro 80s costumes. And one of mine is a tracksuit, but it's like completely like synthetic. It's got no, it doesn't breathe at all. Right.

I'm in this tracksuit for like eight hours and gets to hour number six. And I was sort of like walking around and I caught a whiff of really strong, like rancid BO. Right. And I'm like, Oh my God, that's disgusting. Like someone's kicking up and I smell it more and more.

It was everywhere. When you say, when you say, when you say rancid, do you mean like, like how, how disgusting are we? Are you talking about unusually? Just you mean like, like how disgusting? Are you talking about unusually?

Like you've kind of not had a smelt at that level for a while? Yeah, like look, we've all had a little kick up here and there, like might have had a workout, might not have had, like, you know, whatever. This was absolutely toxic, right? So I noticed it and then I thought, I need to say I know that this is happening because if i don't and i don't reference it that's going to be everyone's just going to think oh he always smells like he has that's just you know um so i sort of said to everyone i came across that oh

by the way i smell bio like i know i'm aware of this yeah this isn't my usual vibe um it's just down to the tracksuit i had a wash this morning i used deodorant okay i probably need stronger deodorant for when i wear that tracksuit but at one point uh our mutual friend uh you know alan seeper mustafa right who's in the scene with me he was being very sweet and he was trying to say i didn't smell a beer right to which I put my hand under my arm and I said, look, smell this. And I... He sniffed my finger and I swear he went

green. He looked like he was going to be sick. Why did you do that? To prove to him how bad it was. Like, it was horrible, man. Yeah, but why did you want to prove to him? Because I was... Let me just break it down for you what's happened there sepa lovely man right yeah he's gone tom smells disgusting in his head this

is what he's gone through tom smells disgusting he's clearly very embarrassed about that what i want to do he's a friend of mine he's a lovely bloke let me try and make him feel at ease by saying he doesn't smell a series of wonderful decisions he me try and make him feel at ease by saying he doesn't smell a series of wonderful decisions he's trying to make you feel at ease he's trying to make you feel comfortable what a nice thing to do his reward for doing that what he gets as a prize for doing that lovely thing is for you to wipe your hand under your armpit and force him to smell it? No, he came forward to sniff it. Yeah, because otherwise I assume you'd keep advancing

towards him. No, no, I went like that. This is how the action went. Wipe, boom, smell it. This is disgusting, isn't it? And he went oh, yeah. Like that. Look, if there's any I don't want you feeling that. If you were there, you'd have been the first person I'd have gone to with my armpit no i'm sure you would i'm sure that's why i'm

it was so lucky to be one of your friends but then the worrying thing is in costume who i didn't necessarily talk to another friend of ours lindsey moore is in costume on this i'm not worried that she's gonna smell the costume and it's gonna stink yeah but have you spoken to like you know when you speak to the costume departments, I'm very sure, the stuff they've seen. Somebody told me about, like, you know, but they find skid marks and stuff like that. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you need to talk to them. The stuff that they found, like a bit of whiffy armpit. Yeah, I mean. And Lindsay's great. She'll know, like, that sort of material can get like that. I won't worry about it, mate. Don't worry about it.

Isn't it a worry, though, that that was how synthetics were back in the day and tracksuits were everyone had b.o in the 80s yeah i guess it's possible that that as a population we have kind of got less smelly throughout the you know because people talk about technological advancement yeah that's that's one that hasn't really been talked about. I know, it's gone completely under the radar. Do people smell better now? They must do, right? People are more, and men in particular,

are more aware of how they smell than they used to. Also, you break down, look, nothing against juke, cool water, Izumiaki, I had some great times in all of those aftershaves, right? But I think aftershaves for men smell so much better now. Izumiaki,

because that Izumiaki aftershave, I smell so much better now izzy miyake because that izzy miyake aftershave that i mean everybody i knew wore that yeah right you want to talk about air fryers and being embarrassed not to have one if you weren't wearing izzy miyake you were dead you know right you know um you know because obviously as one of your close friends you know i'm a bit of a rule breaker and uh yeah i to do fucking nutty stuff. I used to mix cool water and dupe. Why? No, just give it that, so it was a completely new fragrance that no one could quite place.

Some people were like, oh, is that dupe, or is that cool water? And it was a mix of the two. Tom, I know you think that that's a bit, well, you're sort of saying it in a bit of a shame-faced way. People do do that. That's a legitimate thing. What? Mix fragrances.

Yeah, yeah. I think I'm about to, well, I'm about to pay a big compliment. I think that's actually seen as quite a cool thing to do. Oh, really? Yeah, because it's like a properly individual. A vibe. I mean, you know, I don't think they just randomly mix the only two things they've got on their show.

I think people tend to think about it. Yeah, but that was the only two. I think there was only like three because back then Brute and all that sort of stuff was frowned upon. CK1, did you ever rock a bit of CK1? Yeah, I think I've actually got some CK1 still now in my wardrobe, my aftershave collection.

Do you reckon Izzy Miyake would smell nice now if you wore it? Because you can still buy it, can't you? Yeah, you know what? I think in a retro kind of way yeah this is what I'm saying man I genuinely was really psyched

to put on this tracksuit and it literally had nothing like I love a tracksuit as you well know it had nothing in it there was like no breathability

and then I was like did just everyone just smell through that whole you know and even before I suppose actually before that cottons and stuff

people weren't you know people wear a suit so it's just it's cottons and stuff, people weren't, you know, people wear a suit. So, so it's just, it's synthetic. Then you realize what's really going on with the ozone layer and water and stuff and the oceans.

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. So you, you thought all that while you were on set, just after sleeper recalled at your armpit fingers. Well, no,

in my head, I'm like, Oh, this is probably what's fucked those. I'm like, cause you think in that time, right, at some point, let's just say most of the planet was wearing those sorts of tracksuits, right? Most of the planet?

Yeah, one way or another. They were wearing synthetic clothes, do you know what I mean? Yeah. And now, obviously, there's a few still kicking around in retro stuff, but a lot of those, where have they gone? Have you got the answer for that? Are you asking, are you genuinely asking? I thought it was a rhet But a lot of those, where have they gone? Have you got the answer for that? Are you asking? You genuinely asked me.

I thought it was a rhetorical question. Yeah, where have they gone? It's very difficult to know with you whether you need an answer or not. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Right, so they've gone into landfills,

if we're lucky. Oh, so it was a rhetorical question. Okay. Yeah. Landfills, they've been burnt, like with tyres and stuff. Those tracksuits, I think, look, my BO was upsetting for me. But actually, those tracksuits, what they've done is,

I think, they are one of the biggest causes of the ozone layer happening. This is absolutely classic Tom Davis. This is incredible work from you again. You've had a bad day on set, right? Because this tracksuit made you smell a bit. And so you've decided to blame those tracksuits for the depletion of the ozone layer. Mate, they are not environmentally friendly.

I can tell you that much now. What do you think of your... How environmentally friendly do you think you are now? This Adidas top is made from recycled plastics and clothes. You're so funny. Adidas actually do an amazing range of recycled stuff. Yeah, they do. Trainers, ETC.

Shout out Adidas for that. Because they're really leading the way when it comes to doing that. Shout out to Adidas for that. Because they're really leading the way when it comes to doing that. I'm just sort of intrigued by your sudden levels of enthusiasm there. They're really leading the way, aren't they? Also, when it comes, they do a whole... You'll be interested to know this, actually. They do a whole range of nice vegan trainers.

I know. I've got both the... Well, I've got the Stan Smiths and the Superstars. Do they do any of Underwood's part? That's also a pair of black pair the other day that was fucking luscious, boy. Shout out to Adidas for keeping the planet safe and also making lovely stuff.

And can I just say while we're on that subject, Adidas, if you are suddenly wondering why you've suddenly got a spike in sales, you're welcome. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo,

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And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy pants meal probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's got to be KD. When you got to do you, it's got to be KD. Shop now. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping, promo code searching. It takes skill, speed, sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,

a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney+, and Amazon Prime, all starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. You ready for some emails? Yeah. Okay.

This is from... Oh, actually, just quickly. Just BO-wise, can we get just people sending in email, either DM Wolf and Al or Romesh or myself? Don't DM. You can DM Tom if you want. What is the best and strongest deodorant to deal with synthetic fabrics?

If there's anyone out there who's an expert in such things. Or just tips for sort of minimizing BO. Also, I'd love to hear, for Tom's benefit, for some air fryer users that could give us some tips on... Yeah, that'd be nice. Why has Tom's air fryer journey become so tragic? Could anyone give us any tips, please? And actually, if you're listening to this,

you're compelled to go out and buy some ecologically sound Adidas wear at the Wolf and Ale pod and Adidas in the same hit, so they can see that, obviously, at the Wolf and Owl pod, um, and, uh, Adidas in the same hit. So they can see that obviously we're spreading such a fucking humble and decent word. I think somebody's after a box of free gear. Um,

okay. So this email is from the humble earthworm. Wow. Uh, Jim. Yeah. Earthworm Jim. Cool.

That was a good game, wasn't it? Yeah. Wasn't it a cartoon as well? Yeah, it was. Yeah. I think the. That was a good game, wasn't it? Yeah. Wasn't it a cartoon as well? Yeah, it was. I think the game came before the cartoon. Oh, did you watch Masters of the Universe Revelation, by the way? No, I've not seen it yet. Is it good? Listen, I just want to talk about this very quickly, just because you reminded me. So I watched all of them recently and it's quite controversial.

I don't know if you remember, when this new series first came out, there was a bit of a kick-off online. I sort of don't want to say why, because it's a bit of a spoiler. There was a bit of a kick-off online. I've watched all of the shows. I just think they did a brilliant,

it's an amazing thing they've done. Oh, really? It's so good. It's so, so good. If you enjoyed watching He-Man as a kid, what they've done. Oh, really? It's so good. It's so, so good. Like, if you enjoyed watching He-Man as a kid, you would just, what they've done to that story is just, I really loved it.

I loved it. Amazing. So, anyway, I've sort of, I'll be honest with you, I sort of added such little insight to what I said there. Yeah, I'm sure loads of people will be tuning in. Why have you got a beer like this?

I'm just saying. If you're going to sell something sell it like the big man does okay um all right yo to the wolf allen central swan love the pod it'd be great to see you two on tv tv together again soon perhaps the wolf and i could be adapted for tv in queerized style format you travel the country as a pair teaching people how to do them anyway my question is this recently you discussed meat alternatives and tom remarks at how far they'd come in recent years my question is this would you eat meat grown in a lab from cells and would tom consider it real meat identical to real meat but without the animal suffering and is this next step in meat alternatives it will hit supermarket shelves in the coming years but i wonder if as a market as both meat eaters and vegans could be repulsed by the idea of it where do you stand

so where do they get the animal the meat sells from they've got to start with a i think it's already dead meat it's meat it's already died that's true of all mate isn't it yeah yeah yeah i don't know yeah but what i think is what i think is right is it's like right let's get the cells before we sell this do you mean right so i thought about to sell a chicken breast and then they like just chop off a little bit and they start yeah they'll chop off like i'll probably about that much because cells grow man you can grow cells really quickly this is the most but I'd say

an inch by an inch you have and mate that's for me I actually think that fake meat has come on so far

I don't even know if I'd eat cell meat now I think I actually really genuinely I actually enjoy that new fake chicken that's out. It's so incredible. And probably like yourself,

I will be fucking lurking about a McDonald's near me for that first hit, that first vegan. Okay, okay. Genuinely, I am excited about this. McDonald's has finally pulled their finger out their arse and come up with a decent, potentially decent vegetarian alternative. You know what? There's one of the things

I'd love to do in my life is not be with you, but like you're with your three boys, right? Elise, sweet Elise. You go to McDonald's and I will be I'll probably get like a costume so you wouldn't recognise me. And I'll be just like hiding in a McDonald's just to watch be I'll probably get like a costume so you wouldn't recognise me and I'll be just like hiding in a McDonald's just to

watch you and you'll go in with your family you will be so excited. The youngest one will be crying because this is big man following us You won't be able to stand still on the spot you'll be shaking like a shitting dog because you're so excited to fucking have that first bite of that vegan deliciousness your family will the spot, you'll be shaking like a shitting dog, right? Because you're so excited

to fucking have that first bite of that vegan deliciousness, right? Your family will all sit around. It'll be like the end of the Christmas carol. All of your boys and sweet Lisa just looking at you as you take that first big mac bite. And you're like,

the smile across your face, it was like almost like little Charlie or Theo or whatever will go, oh God, what is it like, Dad? And you'll be like, oh, it's delicious as I dreamed it would be. Oh, you're such a cop. No, I would just smile,

nod my head and go, you know what, it's going to be okay. And then I'll get up and leave. Why do you always have to make everything the end of a children's film? I just think it will be a sweet moment. It'll be amazing. When is that burger coming out?

13th of October, I think. How do you know that? I think it is the 13th of October. But why are you so across it? You don't even give a shit about vegetarianism. Mate, my best friend is a vegan. I want to hear as much

as the next person how it tastes, how it feels when it first enters your gob. You know? You know what would be quite cool? A cool thing for you to do. Get a little of the vegan

like Big Mac sauce on the edge of your mouth when you're beer and as you're leaving someone will go, oh, well you saved that for later. You just look at them and go,

I sure am. I sure am. Whereas actually in reality somebody will say, you saved that for later. And I go at them and go, I sure am. I sure am. Whereas actually in reality, somebody would say, you're saving that for later. And I'd go, you're a prick. I'm excited about it, man. I've got to say, because although our kids like the veggie dippers that they

do. Are you going to make it a family outing? Probably. Do you know what? I can't think of the last time I've been into a McDonald's this is what I'm saying no no you know what

you're not the only one mate you're not the only vegan out there so no I know I realise I'm aware of that you're sort of saying it like I've claimed to be that

no but there will be loads of you guys loads of vegans on that date just going into McDonald's for the first time in ages

just like high-fiving hugging like smiling across the table it would be beautiful man you do know you do know that there are vegans there are vegans

that still won't go to McDonald's you're aware of that yeah of course won't go to McDonald's mate I'm not aliking fucking you know this vegan

Big Mac I think it's an incredible thing I'm not aliking it to, you know, Jesus turning bread into fish, which obviously again would have frustrated quite a lot of vegans. Yeah, and also isn't the story, but go on. Right. He turned water

into wine. And bread into fish. No, he didn't turn bread into fish. He did, obviously. No, no, no, no. He had a bit of bread and fish and he fed 5,000 people with it. He didn't of bread and fish and he fed 5000 people with it he turned bread into fish in what fucking set of circumstances

would Jesus need to turn bread into fish just Jesus going I'm going to feed you all and then somebody goes oh actually some of us aren't that keen on bread wouldn't mind a little bit of salmon, though. Don't worry.

I'm going to use the powers that God has bestowed upon me to turn this bread into fish because you're a fussy prick. Yeah, but you know who would have been the other way around? You'd have been there going, oh, you know, you've changed all of the bread into fish. Can you turn it back for about five or six of us at the back? We can't eat fish. Can you turn it back for about five or six of us at the back? We can't eat fish.

We're not allowed. Right. What I'm saying is this. There was naysayers to Jesus even back then, Rob. Right? So, yeah, you'll have your vegan brethren,

right? It's your job, mate. It is your job to get on your Reddit files or whatever you do or your, you know, and go to your vegan brethren and say to them, it's okay. It's delicious.

Maybe take them a big break. Why is that my job? Why do I give a shit about supporting McDonald's? They're doing absolutely fine without me. Also, the point is some people think, why would you go and buy... By the way, I'm aware

that I'm slightly sounding a bit like a a bit kind of sanctimonious here. go and buy by the way i i i'm i'm aware that i'm slightly sounding a bit like uh a bit kind of sanctimonious i'm just making the argument i'm not necessarily saying that i believe this i'm just saying there is a bit of hypocrisy even if they do a vegan burger they do they are mainly meat based aren't they so going in there as a vegan there's there's an argument is a bit hypocritical there is an argument i'm not saying i agree with it you've got to remember they're doing their best, mate. Before you know it, everything's going to be...

I wouldn't say they're doing their best. Let me just say one thing. That is an incredible overestimation of their... They're not doing their best. Have you ever seen a castle before? No. It's the lowest form of work,

my friend. You have to, because I've been with you... So why ask me the fucking question? Just get to the point. Do you think castles were built in a day? Do I think castles were built in a day? Yeah.

No, I don't. It takes time to build great things, and that's what they're trying to do. No, you're right. Yeah? You're absolutely right. Okay. And you know the saddest thing of it?

And it's very much... When you go to an old church or an old cathedral or an old castle, do you ever stand there and think, how sad that the person who started building this wasn't there for the end? It's not occurred to me, no. You never thought that?

Do you definitely know that to be the case? How long does it take a castle to build, right? How long does it take a castle to build? Mate, back in the old days? Yeah. 20, 30 years, maybe? Okay, so what was the average life expectancy? What, 35?

Well, mate, even if you were 20 when you started, you wouldn't live to 50 in adult times, I'd imagine. Not if you're a labourer, anyway. Okay. How long did it take to build a stone keep castle? Stone castles were extremely expensive. It took a great deal of time to build. If some Mott & Bailey castles could be constructed in less than a month,

a medium-sized stone castle would have taken a minimum of five years to build. Well. What about a really, really big cathedral for that? How long did it take to build the cathedral? I'm not Googling how long it takes to build a really, really big cathedral. How long did it... How long did... Seville Cathedral take.

Okay. Is that what you want to know? Yeah. Seville Cathedral take okay is that what you want to know yeah how long did it take to build Seville god it's really painful how long it's taking me to type this out

um oh my god a century there we go right so you start on that knowing that you'll never see the outcome

right very much like the person who probably is like now just first evolved this vegan burger, right? So let's just say they're 45 or 46, right? By the time the veganisms and everyone succumb to this sweet, sweet vegetarian fake meat reality, right?

They're not going to be there. All they were is just, you know, somebody put their shoes into the sand first and said, actually, it's okay to stand up. And, you know,

that's a sad thing in life sometimes. Yeah, okay. I think what we're getting from this is that you love McDonald's way too much. Okay. Next email.

Hi, Rom and Tom and Swan. I'm an American listener who's been an arsenal supporter since the mid 90s so we used to love weekends but not so much for the last decade or so anyway i'm recently divorced and starting to date again i've gotten into collecting retro football shirts like my newly acquired 88 holland one and i think they look honestly yeah okay cool i think they honestly look fashionable but can i wear something like that on a first date

the context is a bit different here as most people don't have an association with football shirts so I think I can use them to take my fashion game to the max

be curious to hear your thoughts thanks and love the podcast what's his name this guy Joe Joe

I could have guessed good solid name just you know actually in America Joe is the like that's the most, because, you know, like the thing of, like, he's just an American Joe.

You heard that saying? I've heard that saying. What is the point you're trying to make? I'm just saying it's nice that we've got an all-American Joe who listens to this show. So shout out, Joe. Listen, man, a lot of this is going to come down to, Joe, where you're going for your first date

if you're going to go to Junkyard Golf which hopefully you have over there because it's an absolute riot and if you ever come to England shout us up we can take you

it's amazing right like it's incredible so Junkyard Golf if you're going there or you're going to go somewhere cool

or somewhere vibey like that maybe you're going to go to like a place like a dance place or maybe you're going to go to uh like a place that a dance place or maybe you're just going to a more sort of sort of if if it i guess the word i'm looking for is uh that sort of shoreditch vibe that we have over here right if you've got that kind of vibe to it you pair wearing it with a pair of slacks or jeans that actually look a bit sort of like nicely boldly cut chinos nice pair of trainers it could look good if you're going to a smart restaurant however and you're kicking up into

like a three to five course or a tasting menu do not wear a football shirt my friend don't also it depends on what kind of vibe you want to create of yourself um it might for you in your head go i'm a slacker i'm chill i'm vibing yo my name's Joe right but she just might think you're a bit scruffy right so you have to basically put on a pair of glasses that are the glasses of the person you're going with and go what is she going to think rather than what do you think but that said do you feel comfortable is that shirt going to give you the best version of yourself when you're sitting there, chin wagging away, mustering through the variables of your life?

So there's a lot of options. For me, do it, man. Make the date chilled. Make you five chilled and wear that chilled football shirt. Good advice from the wolf there. Joe, let me tell you something. Please don't wear a football shirt on your first date. I'm begging you.

Do not wear a football shirt on your first date. And let me tell you why. Because when you go on a first date, everybody knows that you think very carefully about what you're going to wear, right? That you agonize over it to a greater or lesser degree depending on how attractive and self-confident you are. If your first date sees that you've gone through that process and decided to

wear a football shirt, and I know they don't have the same association, but she will still figure out that they've got the association with sport. You are just going to make her think you're an obsessive, right? And you, you, you're running the risk of being written off before you've even started

speaking. So, and listen, I've got nothing. I think I like retro football shirts, right? And I think down the line, you can comfortably wear them,

but on a first date, I think it's an, it's an absolute. Were you thinking turtleneck, pair of chinos, nice pair of shoes? Well, as you said,

Tom, it depends on the venue. You can overdress for a first date yeah so you know be careful of that um i think you go you go simple you go simple a nice clean cut shirt pair of jeans or a polo shirt uh nice pair of smart trainers yeah or shoes depending where you're going something you know you know, something that isn't too, I don't know, something that reflects. Can I just throw something in the mix, Rom?

I don't know how you feel about this. I think that I'm done with jeans now. Wow. You really think so? I think I'm done with jeans. What makes you say that? I like a chino. I like a sort of cord.

I like a smart tracksuit bottom. As long as it's lockdown, it's like jeans just don't do it for me anymore yeah i i would love to see what the jean sales have been like since lockdown and by love i mean sort of mildly interested also because like people just aren't people have dipped out of the jeans game although a lot over the last week tom i wore jeans for the first time in a while and they do you. They do have their place. Did you enjoy it? I did, actually, yeah.

Didn't mind it. Man, I wore a pair of jeans yesterday. Went out for breakfast or brunch with Catherine and just a little sweet, sweet roll at the bottom. The white sock and the white trainer felt so cool. I had a bit of a problem where... Have I talked to you about my moisturising regime? No.

You know every morning after I get out of the shower I body lotion my entire body. Are you aware of that? No, no. Just because dark skin can get quite ashy. Yeah. And I was wearing trainers the other day with trainer socks

and sort of a jean. And as I sat down my ankles look like rhino knees and then i just became it's the first time in a while i became self-conscious about my ankles they just look so dry and gray and horrible really and then yeah and then i started thinking about trying to find some moisturizer just moisturize my ankles because i'm embarrassed about it but i didn't in the end. I just lived with it. You should go to get a pedicure and see if they can work it. I can't believe,

I can't believe, I'm staggered that I thought that was a story. No, but also... That I thought that was something to tell you. You know why? Why? You've been worried about that.

It's been in your mind. I would go, if there is such a thing, maybe, yeah, we have incredible listeners here. Maybe shout out, is there any ankle specialists out there who can get in touch with i don't need i don't need an ankle specialist

i just didn't moisturize that well yeah look i don't want that i don't want this ankles to become you know the next thing that both of me and you're worried about i don't lie in bed thinking about your ankles let's just get this sorted before it becomes a thing okay well there you go joe i hope we've helped you. Do not wear a football shirt on your first date. And Joe, send us a picture maybe of your first date. Yeah, send us a picture of you on your first date. Also send us a picture of you in your 88 Holland shirt.

That would be great. Only kidding, Joe. Don't send in any pictures. Okay. I hope we could help. This is from anonymous wow this is quite

just to give you a little bit of a heads up this is quite a well it's you know she's after genuine advice this person okay okay

hi Wolf Allen Swan need some advice please I'm a female in my early 30s and I've been seeing a guy for about two years he's a couple of years older we met about five years ago and got together under slightly unconventional circumstances things are going slowly but well he hasn't had a really wrong relationship in a while and he seems quite happy to doodle along my question is i'm so in love with him and i don't know how to tell him

i'm worried it won't be reciprocated he isn't great with affection doesn't really have a way with words that i've had in the past not sure if this means he isn't into me or not. Should I wait until he's ready to tell me or should I bite the bullet and get things moving? I'm worried it will scare him off. He's so kind, gentle and patient. He has a heart of gold and has such great qualities that I can see in a future husband and father.

I also don't want to wait around if he isn't ever going to be ready to move to the next stage, which I'm keen to. He has a busy social life and sometimes struggles to find time for me. I often have to remind him to make time, perhaps because he isn't that into me. I want to spend all my free time with him, which doesn't seem to be how he is with me. I really need some guy advice, please. I thought

your way with words might help me. Thanks so much for your help and sorry for the essay. Yeah, anonymous. Firstly, I would say that guys of that age, he will be into you. I would say, without a a doubt if he's as gentle and as kind as you've said i think you know speaking you know from experience and speaking from my own personal sort of you know i was single for quite a long time before i met my wife and

as a guy you become quite sort of i guess you, you find activities, hobbies, going out drinking, whatever, you find a social life that sort of compensates for a lack of a relationship for quite some time. So what you end up doing is sort of getting more groups of friends and then you don't want to let those people down. And I think that he will be into you. I think you need to probably almost sort of put it in a sense

and sort of say it to him. But I don't think you have to say you love him from the start. I just think you probably need to be quite open and saying, look, where do you see this going? Where do you see the next step being? And raising that in a question so you're not sort of opening yourself up to be too vulnerable. You know, you're just basically sort of saying that, you know,

we like each other clearly. We get on. I want to process this to sort of being the next level of relationship. Yeah. I think naturally I don't, you know, I can't speak for myself, but I think guys,

we can sometimes get wrapped up in our own shit, in our own head. And I think women can some, I think women are just a lot more at home with their feelings and conveying their feelings. I know that we, you know, we talk a lot more at home with their feelings and conveying their feelings i know that we you know we talk a lot on here about mental health we talk a lot on here about sort of how we men are moving forward and i think there's a lot of work to be done again speaking of personal

nature i think sometimes we struggle to convey those feelings at times and we struggle to sort of be as open or you know if i vulnerable, I suppose, with how we're feeling. And I think that's an important thing to remember, you know, that, yeah, he could be hiding

or there could be feelings or things that are a bit more deep-rooted and everything that he's feeling. So I think just a real honest and frank

conversation between the two of you could be a way forward of sort of moving the whole relationship forward. But I think, you know, he clearly likes clearly likes you you know you say he's gentle and kind and by the sounds of things he's one hell of a lucky guy too so i wish you luck my friend well you know um i find myself as i so often do on these podcast episodes struggling to find a way to top the

advice that that tom davis has handed out there really beautifully put tom thank you uh well the thing is one of the things i'd say is and so many times people i know or you hear about people that they just aren't on a level in terms of expressing how they feel about somebody and people fall into the trap of thinking if somebody doesn't say something or somebody's not open about it that means i don't feel the same way and i think it's just going to be for you it's just going to be a matter of sort of getting to know how your other half expresses his level of affection you know some people are very kind of full on with it and open and say i love you and just very affectionate with their words and actions and stuff. And other people just aren't. And, yeah, I guess there's a bit of meeting in the middle that's required.

But, you know, it's a brief answer from me because I thought Tom put it really beautifully. Thank you, Tom. That was wonderful. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Good luck. Yeah, good luck.

Good luck. Tom, it's about that time, my G. Now, first of all, before we get into your closing thing, can I just say, I've missed you. I've missed you. I texted you the other day, and it just feels like we haven't talked for a while because we've both been quite busy.

Also, we haven't seen each other physically, which has been difficult. No. Oh, there's one other thing I need to talk about. Quite a few people are, well, we've got a couple of complaints on the email about us not doing bonus eps. I can say, I can confirm

now for you, Tom and I, before clicking record on our little production, have agreed a time to do our bonus episode. So for those of you that are worried or slightly annoyed about the thing that you get for free not being delivered as frequently

as you'd like please don't worry because we're back on the bonus app trail uh okay tom could you please take us out with some of your wonderful lyrical wizardry that you are generous enough to treat us with on a weekly basis he was a slug and lived on the robinson's patio every day he'd sort of drag his slug body from one end of the patio to the other sometimes this would take a week sometimes sure sometimes he'd deal with daddy in the grass then one day he came across a snail with the name of ronan and he was like oh my god he's just like me but he has a what like a house

on the back of his of his back and Peter sort of walked like crawl up to Ronan he's like oh man what is that on your back he's like oh this is my shell it is my home when it rains it is my shell. It is my home when it rains.

It is my solitude when I'm scared. It is the place that I go when everything feels doomed. So Peter says, that's a bit like the solitude thing, right? And he said, yeah, yeah. I was just thought of. There was three things, but there's really only two. But anyway, they chatted for a bit. And then the rain came, started coming down. and rowan just pushed himself into the shell and peter tried to get in there

with him and rose there's only room for what me that's literally purposely built so only one person can get in there and peter just dragged himself into the grass and found a leaf to sort of take shelter under anyway um two three weeks later and they sort of bump into each other now again on the patio um the rain started again and rowan turned around and was like oh back under a leaf and peter uh so peter said i'll take under a leaf and ryan said see you in a while, crocodile. And Peter was a bit bemused because neither of them actually knew what crocodiles were. But he dragged himself through the grass under the leaf

as Rowan pushed himself into the shell. And the youngest of all the Robinson children came sprinting out as the rain stopped and trod on the shell that Rowan was in. Peter just watched for a moment and thought, well, you know what? Sometimes where you think you're safest and you think that you are least vulnerable

is actually the least safest place to be in the world. And actually, it's good to sometimes find other places to be safe and other places to try and rest your head. Don't limit the places that you seek solitude. There can be safety everywhere. He missed his friend, but he kind of knew that he'd learnt an important lesson. Find shelter wherever you can.

Do you sort of, yeah. There's a lot of characters in that one. There's a lot of characters. So you're trying to tie up Endgame there. Yeah, it did feel like there was a sort of origin story that could have come before. Yeah.

I hope people realise what the actual sentiment was. Yeah. He lost a friend just by pure chance and he took that to mean he'd learnt some sort of lesson.

I get it. No, no, but if you just always just go, look, this is my safe space. Right? Yeah.

Your safe space is in your head. Right. That's what it meant. But yeah, I'll probably sort of... So is the leaf your head? Is that what you meant but yeah I'll probably sort of so is the leaf is the leaf your head

is that what you're saying no no but he could go to any leaf it wasn't just one leaf or he could even go under a branch a twig he just got lucky didn't he because

the kid could have easily stepped on a leaf couldn't he yeah but yeah but that would have been chance when you're in a when you think that you're in the most safe place

in the world yeah yeah the limitations are in your head but he also thought he was safe didn't he because he went under a leaf yeah but he went he went there to be safe but you've got to remember how arrogant rowan was this is the place i can't be touched i can't be touched got you got you got you but he could be touched yeah so do you think paul was kind of slightly happy that he died i don't think he was happy but i just thought he was a bit of a cock, wasn't he? Yeah.

I think Paul probably just thought, more for you, more for you. Yeah. I mean, actually, the end of the story could have been that Paul, about three months later, got eaten by a bird. Absolutely right, yeah. Yeah. Well, listen, Tom, I've got to say, I've thoroughly enjoyed spending this hour on your company.

It's been a lovely, lovely journey. So thank you so much for having me. I'll speak to you in a few days, mate. Yeah, I'll see you. Thank you. Guys, thank you so much for joining us on The Wolf for now. Take care. Much love.

God bless everyone. Peace out. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.