Wolf and Owl - Episode 9

Episode Date: January 27, 2021

We’re talking… hair gel, spicy mackerel snacks, grief with teeth and a wrestling tag-team challenge. Plus more of your emails answered and an update on Married At First Sight. For any feedback, qu...estions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:17 wear the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rode in with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing Outro Music Impressive in it, the death bringing his head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast, episode 9 This is me, the owl, Romesh Ranganathan And obviously joining me is the wolf, Tom Davis, hello mate
Starting point is 00:02:00 Woohoo! The wolf is in the house Do you think, do I have to do that intro every time? Tom Davis. Hello, mate. The wolf is in the house. Do you think, do I have to do that intro every time? You know what? I don't think you do, but I enjoy watching you do it because I find it quite amusing that you have to do it every time.
Starting point is 00:02:16 So what do you, how do you think I should start it? If I'm honest with you, if it was me and like, you know, you have, I mean, it can be, it can be you if you want no no
Starting point is 00:02:25 it's better with you also look to tell everyone who's listening for the first five episodes of this romesh did wear a t-shirt that his wife brought him which said the host of the most i think you could just say welcome to the wall for now and I hope now after nine episodes people know who they've got yeah let's hope so but I'm just so used to sort of being asked you know if we didn't do that
Starting point is 00:02:52 I guarantee the episode would go out and people go for the first you get a message for the first half an hour I was completely unsure as to who it was
Starting point is 00:02:59 I was listening to very confusing do you ever get the things like we put that picture up on Instagram this week why we both put the same picture up because we
Starting point is 00:03:08 we need to fucking up our game on that shit because some people have got proper posters and shit mate but like someone actually a couple of people put
Starting point is 00:03:15 well Rob it looks like you've just shaved your head yeah just taking a picture of yourself talking to yourself I saw that yeah I don't
Starting point is 00:03:23 I don't think we look that alike I mean aside the beard like i mean actually we have got similar noses actually now looking at it oh yeah we have from that look if i tilt my head like there you go it's pretty similar and actually our mouths are quite alike in a way so you do do you so let's just clarify do you do you do think we look alike then you know coming into this um this podcast i was like that's a ridiculous thing to say and now i'm sitting looking at your face and we're side by side like a mirror reflection yeah yeah i can see you know what do you know i think no do you know i think it's happened i think you'd be watching me and you think oh he looks quite good
Starting point is 00:03:58 and now you sort of aspirationally sort of saying that you look like me i have by the way got that pair of glasses i could literally i've got a similar pair of glasses to that I could put on and we could look really alike. Maybe we should do that on the next one, shall we? That'd be a real treat. Like dressed as twins. You should shave your head. No, I've done that before.
Starting point is 00:04:17 Do you know what? I've got to tell you this now. Your skull shape is perfect for a bald head. My skull shape is. Do you know what I've got under here? I've got an agassi. You know, that kind of pregnant cranium thing. Now, listen, obviously,
Starting point is 00:04:30 Andre Agassi can pull it off. He's a very good-looking guy. My looks cannot take that. I cannot shoulder the burden of that. As a friend, I'd really like to see you do. It's just like one day, just really gel all your hair back. Did you ever do that when you were younger?
Starting point is 00:04:44 I did gel my hair. I don't think I ever gelled it back you know that's the proper slick back yeah yeah when i was probably about 13 14 maybe i watched uh the godfather right uh and uh i was obsessed with michael corleone and i just went out you, really cheap fucking gel you used to get. Yeah, yeah. Like jelly. Yeah. And I remember going to school. Why was it that that gel was like the default hair product? Just anybody, any boy at school that used a hair product, it would all just gel. Just those clear tubs with like the blue or purple or whatever.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Or green, yeah. Yeah, just slam it straight in. Do you remember the day you found Brylcreem? Like, you just thought, fucking hell, Brylcreem and Lynx, I've fucking made it. I'm a grown now. I remember getting, so I had that and it really set it, set hard. Yeah. Like on my head.
Starting point is 00:05:36 But I've got like a widow's peak. Yeah. So really for, like, and I remember going downstairs and went down for it. It was like, you're not fucking going to school like that, man. In my head, I was in like this, all my school clothes were too small for me.
Starting point is 00:05:50 So, but in my head, I thought, I look like fucking Michael Corleone. Got on a bus and everyone, no one went to me,
Starting point is 00:05:57 oh mate, you look like Michael Corleone from The Godfather because I was probably the only person who'd watched that movie at the time. How old were you?
Starting point is 00:06:04 13, I think. Yeah. It's a big ask for you to gel your hair and think people are going to put that together with Michael Corleone. You're asking people to make quite a journey. Most of the kids on the bus were like, oh my God, you look like you've brushed your hair with a pork chop. It's actually quite good for kids of that age yeah yeah no there were some savage
Starting point is 00:06:27 kids at my school were fucking amazing but i'll tell you a horrendous story like about but i don't know if i told you the story before but what like my mum used to experiment with this is by the way i have never seen or heard of this before or since right right what my mum did right so my mum used to experiment with like curries and stuff like that and obviously one of the things one of the problems of being an asian kid is that is that the food that your parents cook is very strong smelling it permeates your clothes and so you know it's it's a it's a problem right so so just quickly just say by the way my mum is very much like that even like so my mum's very like my dad is not as much he's got more like it with age but my mum when we were
Starting point is 00:07:13 kids we were like my mum would be cooking funky things like she used to send me into school like a bag of chickpeas yeah instead of crisps once my mum took me to go and watch Jurassic Park, right? And I was sat over watching Jurassic Park and she brought with her, you know, I know we were talking
Starting point is 00:07:32 about cinema snacks last week, but she brought with her deep fried spicy mackerel, right? That she wrapped in foil. I don't even know what a fun time, you just know what's coming.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Midway through the film, she opened the foil, right? It was like a fucking chemical weapon, right? Like the whole theatre stank of it. We're the only Asian people in that theatre. I remember being torn between the fact that I feel like we look like such stereotypical Asians, but also
Starting point is 00:08:09 I really want this mackerel. Do you know what I mean? It's just that. How old were you like, 13, 14 at the time? I must have been, yeah. 13, 14. Yeah, Jurassic Park, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Oh no, wait, you'd have been about 16, would you have? 16 going to the cinema of your mum. You thought that was the embarrassing thing, the spicy mackerel. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:29 You're out, Rob. See you at the cinema at the weekend with your mum. Yeah. You're joking about the spicy mackerel. No, no, no, no. I'll see you at the cinema this weekend with your mum. I'm going to say the spicy mackerel was not even on the top five list of reasons
Starting point is 00:08:41 why that was an embarrassing trip for you, bro. the top five list of reasons why that was an embarrassing trip for you bro anyway so so at school right so i'm used to experiment with curries and that one day i still can't i still i sort of can't believe i'm this she made garlic curry right as in geez you know how you know when you get little cloves of garlic in with your lamb like this thing was composed entirely of garlic right what just garlic yeah my mum my mum i don't know if your parents have my mum's got this thing where i think it might be it might be an asian parent thing but i think it's a mum thing generally where she read every week she would read something about this thing's good for you or that thing's good for you should you should drink lemon water
Starting point is 00:09:24 three times a day you should rub turmeric into your gums's good for you or that thing's good for you. You should drink lemon water three times a day. You should rub turmeric into your gums or whatever. Do you know what I mean? Like she's always got some sort of remedy thing. My mum was very much like that. Yeah. So this particular week she'd read about garlic thinning your blood. And obviously garlic is good for you.
Starting point is 00:09:37 I wouldn't say it's, I don't think it's possible for the body to absorb the amount of garlic nutrients that my mum had made me eat that day. It was delicious. I mean, listen, it was, you know, it's possible for the body to absorb the amount of garlic nutrients that my mama my mama made me eat that day it was delicious i mean listen it was you know it's fine she did it well anyway the next day it i mean it must have been fucking oozing from my paws right because as soon as i got onto the school bus the second i got onto the school bus the fucking entire bus started rinsing me right like just absolutely destroying me like oh my god what what do you smell like man oh mate you literally just got off a banana boat just like super fucking horrendous shit right uh i sat down on the coach absolutely devastated the whole day at school, I was getting like properly, every lesson I go into, new kids smell what I smell like.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Do you know what I mean? It's just horrendous, right? I'm sort of sat in a lesson, almost in tears, right? And my English teacher says to me, Romesh, can you stay behind? So I stay behind. I stay behind. And he goes to me, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:10:47 And I tell him the story. And the whole time I'm telling him the story, I'm just thinking to myself, I stink of garlic. I mean, I don't know what it was like for him. I don't know at what point he would have gone, look, Ramesh, look, that sounds really horrible. And some of those comments were clearly racist. But can I just say something?
Starting point is 00:11:06 You do fucking stink. Let me help you help yourself here. I would suggest if you're an Asian kid, go into a school that's predominantly white, as this one is, try not to come in smelling like that because you're only doing yourself
Starting point is 00:11:25 a disservice. So how have you been, Tomo? I'm not, do you know this week, right? I'm livid. Right,
Starting point is 00:11:35 look at my tooth. Yeah, you sent me a photo of this. What exactly has gone on there? So, week one of lockdown one, I break my tooth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I give it a little break right it's not bad how did you do it uh i think it was popcorn from what i remember it was a long time ago now and then on new year's eve uh just as we're saying goodbye to 2020 uh i broke it even more uh i was eating some cheese and biscuits and uh just a fucking rogue rough cracker just was in the mix uh with one of those big seeds in it and uh i mean you'd know about seeds you're like the seed king um all right you know like you know every now and again i'll get sent oh wait two seconds yeah my asos uh things here oh for fuck's sake wait there two seconds so those of you well i say those of you that listening i'm only talking to people that
Starting point is 00:12:28 listening tom's excitement at hearing the door go because asos packages here i need to find out what it is because he's obviously buzzing about it he's coming back now um you're right mate i don't even think that what what was it i don't think it was i don't even think that was what was it I don't think it was I don't think it is my ASOS I was just saying by the way while you were gone
Starting point is 00:12:50 you're really excited about whatever it is that's coming from ASOS what is it you've ordered just another track suit what track suit a Nike one nice
Starting point is 00:13:01 it's like brown trousers with a sort of khaki top. Very cool. I'll take some pictures. So we're talking about seeds. Seeds, yeah. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Oh, yeah. So every now and again, I get sent vegan snacks to try. Yeah, yeah. And I remember I got a couple of bags of like some snack thing, and I just threw them in the cupboard. And about a month later, I opened the cupboard again to get some. And they'd like fucking sprouted in the bag. Really?
Starting point is 00:13:29 Yeah. Fucking hell. What, the seeds had sprouted? Yeah. Fucking hell, man. That's mad. So I had had this seed and it broke that tooth. It's taken me nearly a month to get an appointment.
Starting point is 00:13:40 I go in to get the tooth done. Straight away, he sort of yeah he's a he was a big fan of yours so there was a lot of chatting about you how much he rates you as a comedian
Starting point is 00:13:52 you don't have to say there's so much resentment by the way well no because usually I'm like oh yeah no he's brilliant he's really funny but this guy's fucked my tooth
Starting point is 00:13:59 because he was so interested now I look like a fucking hillbilly who's just got back from Capitol Hill because this guy was so excited that I knew you no but you've seen him before right this is like your first time he was so interested. Now I look like a fucking hillbilly who's just got back from Capitol Hill because this guy was so excited that I knew you. No, but you've seen him before, right?
Starting point is 00:14:08 No, this is the first time. Oh, right. This is a new guy. This is the first time we'd stepped out together as dentist and patient. Right. Why have you gone to a new guy? Because I usually go in London.
Starting point is 00:14:18 Oh, I see. And now, yeah. But anyway, at the end of it, I was just like, that tooth's just a little bit bigger than the other one, right? And he was like, yeah, it's a little bit bigger, but, you know, it's temporary. So, yeah, it's fine. It's cool.
Starting point is 00:14:32 How temporary is temporary? Till, I think, the 3rd of February. Okay, fine. But I was like, yeah, but it's not fixed, is it? So it's the same as the other one. Did you say it with this tone that you're saying it to me? Well, I wasn't happy about it, but I was probably more annoyed now because now I've realised I can't eat.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Yeah, but you're not happy about it, but also your ongoing comfort is dependent on this guy wanting to help you, right? Well, it's also now, and the fact that I guess him by his conversation probably listens to this podcast because he's obsessed with you. So what did this say so he says to me um that uh it's just you know it's fixed like for the moment and i was a bit if i took my car into a mechanics right and the guy went i fixed your car and then
Starting point is 00:15:19 i drove about two foot and it broke down again and he went well it's fixed enough for the moment you know it'll be better on the third of fe or third i was like you haven't done your job properly sure it's like literally you can eat like with the back of my mouth but i like to chew at the front as well and also he started having a go at my fucking underbite well what's wrong with your underbite apparently i bite like two on top of my teeth right but i should have more of an underbite yeah i mean there is no point there is no point visually demonstrating it to me this is a podcast but go on yeah yeah well yeah no but you've got quite a substantial underbite have i right yeah you've got a good underbite your teeth are incredible by the way they're not they're absolutely not mine have thank you for saying that but go on
Starting point is 00:15:58 you know what like i think the last good year of my teeth was 2020 and no one fucking saw them really now they're deteriorating because you can't you can't rub every 2020 is a worse year that a lot of people have had you can't start lording it over them with how well your teeth you know like if i'd known that this was good like 2019 would be their last big outing right like i'd have probably fucking enjoyed them more yeah eating more apples or something more boiled sweet actually less bored sweet have you seen how much corn on the cob
Starting point is 00:16:26 Tom's getting through he's just he's absolutely loving life mate I could I love corn on the cob by the way
Starting point is 00:16:32 and I'm making fucking incredible I couldn't even go near one at the moment like corn on the cob for me would literally like be like going into a fucking
Starting point is 00:16:38 like a punch up it would like it'd be like me fighting Mike Tyson okay so now now you've said that can I tell you something now you've said that I am starting to you something? Now you've said that,
Starting point is 00:16:45 I am starting to get an idea of how annoying that is now. Because having to stay away from certain foods, that sounds like a blow. Like even certain foods, right, where you hear that snap, where you take that first bite, yeah? Yeah. Like a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:17:00 Something as simple as a sandwich. What have you got in a sandwich? I'm all over the killer. What have you got in a sandwich to make it snap? Well, two of what I haven't got in the fucking sandwich is cucumber, mate. Cucumber? Cucumber is a problem. If I took a bite out of a sandwich with a big old lump of cucumber in it, right?
Starting point is 00:17:14 Yeah. The cucumber would be like impaled on this massive fucking front tooth. Right. And everything else would be in my mouth. So what, you'd pull away from the sandwich and the whole, the whole slice of cucumber would come out in a hole. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Just sort of speared by that front tooth. You're like a narwhal, aren't you? I'm genuinely, I'm like, fucking hell, man. Skewered by your tusk.
Starting point is 00:17:39 The way I hold my mouth. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's horrible. You look like, you look like, what was that, Emma Thompson movie? N, that's horrible. You look like... What was that Emma Thompson movie?
Starting point is 00:17:47 Nanny McPhee. I look like fucking Nanny McPhee. I need to cut the balls on my nose. I will say this. I didn't need another thing on my fucking face to go wrong. No. I really didn't. I've even started now
Starting point is 00:18:08 just like training because I'm like, if I'm going to look like a redneck for the rest of my life, I need to look at least, I can't be a fat guy with one big tooth.
Starting point is 00:18:14 But hold on, was the guy saying that this is your fault or something? What happened? Is he not sorting it out? Yeah, he's going to sort it out but he wants to,
Starting point is 00:18:21 there's talk about an invisible brace. We're talking about that at the moment. Okay, fine. I mean, to be fair to you, he was actually a very pleasant guy and i'm giving he was a very good good guy i actually really enjoyed his company up until uh the um the the big tooth so so i've got i've got a bit of a phobia of dentists right and but everyone says this right yeah but so so i was looking i went looking for a dentist because there are dentists that deal with nervous patients.
Starting point is 00:18:47 You know, that they're... Oh, my God. Right, so... I love you, but please, like, I genuinely am... Yeah. Go on, no, go on, go on, put your boot in. Well, like, that's just... One of your best mates has just shared a fucking anxiety he's got
Starting point is 00:19:00 and you're about to put the boot in. Go on. Why am I a prick for that? Go on. It's not you're a prick, but it's like a bit of a cowardly custard on the basis that you're about to put the boot in go on why am i a prick for that go on it's not you're a prick but it's like a bit of a cowardly custard on the basis that you've got like did you tell lisa you were doing this listen there is nothing i can tell lisa that will make me less alluring and attractive to her so yes i did tell her i cut like i love you to death genuinely like i'd have
Starting point is 00:19:21 to work so hard to find someone i love as much as you. And I hope my wife doesn't hear that. But the thought of you going through the internet and going on Google and then just calling up a dentist and someone going, hello, Rose Queen Dentist. And you're like, hi, are you the dentist for nervous patients? Can I tell you something? If I'd Googled them and then I phoned them up, I wouldn't then ask them if they'd answered Rose Brown.
Starting point is 00:19:50 It's not a Simpsons episode. Yeah, but they say... They don't just turn around and go, hi, the dentist for nervous patients. No, but if the dentist is called, like, Pussy Dentist or whatever, and then they answer the phone saying Pussy Dentist, I'm not going to go...
Starting point is 00:20:05 That's a whole different thing. I don't know why I thought... I don't know why I freestyled that name. Oh, no, no, no. The name's confusing. Yeah. This is actually a dentist for people with vaginal teeth.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Sorry. It's quite rare. Oh, you're trying because you're a coward and you can't see dentists. So anyway... That's Mark's speciality. So anyway, I looked...
Starting point is 00:20:32 I found a dentist, right, that's good for cowardly custards. And so they said to me that... They'll look after me, right? So I went to this dentist and the guy, a really nice bloke, right? And they've got, they do it all,
Starting point is 00:20:47 they've got speakers in the chair. You can have whatever music you want on and stuff like that, right? So. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking?
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Starting point is 00:22:08 Anyway, I had to have a root canal, right? Which is... In all fairness, yeah, I feel bad now.
Starting point is 00:22:14 No, no, it's alright. You said what you wanted to say. Don't start backtracking. So let's have a root canal. So root canal, have you had one before?
Starting point is 00:22:21 Wait, I actually think this might be the ASOS channel, right? delivery oh for fuck's sake go on i've never seen someone buzz so much for a tracksuit where are we 20 minutes in the lack of professionalism was that was that was that the asus delivery it's here so now you can relax we can relax and also by the way what a strange situation where the delivery driver has got to take a picture of me so i'm from the top window looking down in my house and he said take the picture of me with the asus parcel looking
Starting point is 00:22:55 up with his phone like that so you can see me in the background of it i know i want a copy of that picture what were you chatting to him is that why you were talking to him i thought you were just having a chat because you're a bit like desperate for social interaction. No, I get on all my delivery drivers with me on first name terms. Okay, it's a weird thing to sort of say with such pride, but... I take pride in knowing people's names.
Starting point is 00:23:14 That was Quinn. What's Quinn like? Nice guy. Brilliant delivery driver. One of the best you could ever... What makes a good delivery driver in your opinion? Very polite.
Starting point is 00:23:24 Has a little bit of a laugh. Gave him a little bit of a laugh gave him a card at christmas you gave him a card at christmas yeah did have money in it they have money in it just like hey quinn thanks for all your deliveries can i tell you something let me say something i couldn't have meant less to quinn if you're not putting a bit of fucking cash in it what's the point i'm not putting cash in it he's one of the only people who's fucking profited from this fucking lockdown situation he's doing better than i am anyway i'm getting this i'm getting this root canal right and uh and it's it's like i've got my mouth like rocks wide like properly like i'm up my head's almost upside down right this is where he's got to get to. Anyway, so the guy's chatting to me.
Starting point is 00:24:05 He's a nice bloke. Midway through, right? Midway through him doing the root canal, I've got this fucking rod stuck into my jaw. He just goes, oh, shit. What? And I was like, oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:24:23 What the fuck is going on, right? right bearing in mind i've chosen this dentist specifically for my nervous disposition right he goes oh god oh shit man right and then like sort of moves away from me and i was thinking is it has this guy found something in my skull that he's never seen before right anyway he doesn't tell me what's going on he doesn't say anything he's just going oh man oh fuck and so i eventually without being told to i just sit up to see what the fuck's going on right next to me on the you know they've got the the table of like instruments and shit like that next to me on that table of instruments is a pigeon right what it is what the fuck it has got in through the roof tiles i've got no idea right and this guy
Starting point is 00:25:14 is as scared of pigeons as i'm of dentists right so so he's like freaking out at the back of the room he goes mate you're gonna have to deal with this. I said, I am not dealing with shit, mate. I'm already dealing with everything I'm prepared to deal with in this situation. Okay? Also, if you think I'm going to continue with this appointment with these pigeon-stained instruments, you're absolutely dreaming. Right? Oh, my God. Anyway, it wasn't that geezer's fault, but I never went back to that dentist again, man.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Of course you didn't. He's the fucking worst dentist. My guy was actually very, very fucking, he was very sort of like sensual and fucking decent and like caring. Your guy sounds like a fucking idiot. He's like literally, he should not be fucking allowed to dentist license.
Starting point is 00:26:00 And I think, I hope you left a scathing review. No, I didn't actually. I didn't. What? This is what, this is sometimes a thing with you right what do you mean is that what you should what you should have done there
Starting point is 00:26:10 is thought oh I'm a nervous patient I'm a terrified patient right there's going to be other people like me these people have got pigeons and fucking probably rats and mice running around their fucking dentist facilities
Starting point is 00:26:21 and now you've got other nervous people who are slipping into the same thing and you know that is literally mate I think you should even now go but how long ago was it? Maybe like four years ago?
Starting point is 00:26:33 No that's probably too late now. I don't know when how long until How long I don't know how long a sort of reporting a pigeon incident
Starting point is 00:26:41 a dentist I don't know what the time lapse in that is I don't know when that expires in terms of I think you could do six to eight months after staying at shitty hotel or restaurant you can do a review but i mean what you've been through is actually i mean have you been back to a dentist i have yeah since yeah did you go to a normal one no i went to i found another
Starting point is 00:26:59 another one for anxious people how many nervous dentists are there's loads there's loads really yeah what do they do do they give you like a foot rub or a head massage well you know like you know some dentists you go to and they're quite um they're quite blunt with you about what's got to be done and you know like they don't they don't sort of consider it like these dentists they're that the way they deliver information is a lot more they'll say to you they'll sort of schedule the treatments based on what you think you can handle in one go or whatever you know there's all these little things that they do you know
Starting point is 00:27:32 as I'm saying this you asked me the question as I'm saying it I can see the sort of contempt building up in your face I can just imagine you sort of like going obviously today we're not going to go too far with anything, Romesh. We're not going to go any further than you want us to go. Sorry, it's a dentist for nervous patients, it's not ASMR.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I've just got a picture of like a nurse holding your hand. You're like a kid who's pissed his pants at fucking first break. Just trying to fucking maraud around, trying to find you a pair of tracksuits that we'll still have for the rest of the day. You just turn around and go, you know what, it'll be nice if while I'm having this done, someone would just brush my hair.
Starting point is 00:28:16 We've got a kid in there, he's pissed his pants. He's just waiting for his mum to pick him up. Just before you go in and talk to him, just to let you know, he fucking reeks of garlic. The kid in there just smells of garlic and piss. Garlic in your eye. Absolutely terrified of everything. now listen bro um i want to know there's something we haven't talked we're supposed to talk about this on the last episode but as usual we sort of got digressed we We got diverted. What is this wrestling thing that's going on with you?
Starting point is 00:29:07 Mate. You and Freddie, right? It's the coolest thing. So me and Freddie were tweeting the other week. I'll be the judge of that, mate. Go on. Yeah, I think if you don't think this is amazingly cool, then yeah, there's something wrong with you.
Starting point is 00:29:18 You need your head examined. Me and Freddie were tweeting during the NXT WWE wrestling the other day. And then it sort of broke into a bit of a stall because we offered out the sort of tag team champions of the UK. And then Shawn Michaels from the Rockers. So hold on. So Freddie was watching the wrestling late one night or something, right?
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah. And then tagged you in a tweet saying these guys are pussies. And I jumped on that. I was like, yeah, I was watching it as well. And then it was quite a sort of, we got a little bit of grief from the wrestling fraternity, but then WWE and NXT got in touch and were like, look, you'd potentially be up for doing something.
Starting point is 00:29:57 And then Shawn Michaels from the Rockers offered us out on Twitter, which was incredible. I was like, wow, this is, I mean, his end, I mean, wrestlers are cool, right? At the end of his thing, he just said... I'm leaving that statement unchallenged. But yeah, go on. Wrestlers are cool.
Starting point is 00:30:10 Carry on. Well, you better leave it unchallenged because otherwise I'll be putting you in a suplex. You've never sounded cooler. Anyway, go on. Shawn Michaels goes, after you've done that you can come out here
Starting point is 00:30:26 and then we'll see how the rubber meets the road I was like wow what a fucking cool thing to say was that like
Starting point is 00:30:32 a PR thing are you actually going to wrestle we're going to do it you know me Romesh you've known me for a long time if I do anything
Starting point is 00:30:38 I do it a thousand percent and more you know I will go into this can I just say one of my biggest bugbears
Starting point is 00:30:45 and and it comes from watching cheryl cole on x factor when people say you're giving it 110 or whatever a thousand percent it's so annoying you give a hundred i'm the opposite i actually think cheryl cole is one of the most amazing human beings. No, hold on. I wasn't slagging off Cheryl Cole. This is what I'm talking about. You're making it look like I'm having a go at Cheryl Cole. I'm having a go at that specific thing. Okay?
Starting point is 00:31:13 You know what Cheryl Cole taught me is 100% is not enough. I mean... And you can quote that. You can quote that. 100% is not enough. Okay. Actually, if you know what? If I was to be able
Starting point is 00:31:25 to say anything to Cheryl Tweedy or just Cheryl I think she calls herself now I would say to Cheryl listen mate call your book
Starting point is 00:31:32 100% is not enough call your autobiography that so I don't I don't actually I don't actually think that's a great thing to tell people
Starting point is 00:31:40 100% is not enough I just sort of think this do you not think we're in this kind of thing of like hustle and grind and all this shit 100% is not enough i i just sort of think this do you not think we're in this kind of thing of like hustle and grind and all this 100 is not enough i just it's fucking whatever you can give is enough isn't it why do we have to like 100 is the absolute fucking maximum and then and then somebody in in what is supposed to be motivation says by the way 100 but just so you know the absolute maximum that you can give which is 100 mathematically that way 100 but just so you know the absolute maximum that you can
Starting point is 00:32:05 give which is 100 mathematically that's not enough just so you know but in that case this we go back to something i said i think in episode one or two is like why go over 100 with numbers okay okay tom tom tom listen can i say it's so far away from that what we're talking about is absolutely not what you're talking about. Right? What I'm saying to you is right. If there was a time
Starting point is 00:32:30 in the world where 100 was a maximum of everything, like the lofty heights of when like, I don't know if it was cavemen or what, where they were doing
Starting point is 00:32:37 the writing on the wall and they got to 100 and they were like, fucking hell, we thought 30 was crazy, but this is mad. And like, they've named it all right.
Starting point is 00:32:44 And then they should all right and then they should have and then at that point in life 100 was enough that was enough numbers are not numbers are not percent do you understand yeah but everything's percent this is what you don't get like everything in a way is percent right you have to give the percentage of the right look i would never be as stupid to turn to you and say give a million percent because that's fucking crazy but thousand percent is what you should be doing in the way that we live in what the fuck are you talking about a thousand percent is just as crazy as a million percent mate it's inflation ramesh that's what i'm probably
Starting point is 00:33:18 trying to say like the percentages of life have like grown look look look first of all when counting was first done, and I don't know who first counted, was the first person to come up with 100, right? Life was simple. If you had one loaf of bread between 30 of you, you were cracking on, you were doing all right. You didn't have houses and ASOS orders
Starting point is 00:33:37 and loads of different stuff coming in. This thing is inflation. So the actual idea that the percentage that you live your life and how you push yourself has to be more than it was... You've just said 12 things that have no connection with each other at all and you've just put it into a sentence and and made it sound like an argument but it isn't if your son came up to you tomorrow one of your boys and he just went you know what i'm really proud of myself yes yesterday i gave i played football and i gave it you know 250 percent yeah what are you talking about it's like I listened
Starting point is 00:34:06 to the podcast I thought Tom made a lot of sense first of all before we get emails in you can get more than 100 I'm aware of that okay but I'm talking about giving 100 of yourself to something yeah well I just think that I think that if someone said to me if right if me and you were like playing tennis together right it was me and and you playing a game of doubles tennis and we're playing a couple of other guys. I imagine what we'd do is you'd play the first couple of games with me. And then you'd get on your Insta stories, try and get all hungry for somebody sort of involved in the world of sports that you can sort of network your way up the tennis world. And then eventually I'd get a phone call from you going,
Starting point is 00:34:43 oh, I'm fucking having a little knockabout of Andy Murray I can't make up with you anymore no but no it's me and you versus two other like jocks right
Starting point is 00:34:50 right and you turn to me and I'm like bloody old woman it's just like fucking run the back line mate run the back line yeah
Starting point is 00:34:57 and then you turn and I'm like I'm giving it 100% I'm giving it 100% I want I need more from you than 100% yeah and you'd be asking me to do something that i cannot do and nobody can do so it's an insane thing to say it is it's actually
Starting point is 00:35:14 what you are saying to me is you are not good enough that's what you're saying yeah all right fair enough what i probably say to you mate well well you know what it feels to me that you're giving me 63 percent far okay now that okay listen, we might disagree whether that's the case, but now we're actually having a conversation. You could say to me, I don't think you're giving 100%. You might believe that's 100%, but you ain't giving it. I'm telling you, you've got more in you. So what I meant was when we get into the wrestling, right,
Starting point is 00:35:42 I will give it 1, thousand percent but in your percentage ways because maybe my percentage is bigger than yours no but Tom Tom Tom for your limit no
Starting point is 00:35:50 limitation wise maybe my thousand percent is the same as your hundred percent so that actually makes you better so you should be proud of yourself no because no I can't be proud
Starting point is 00:36:00 of something that makes absolutely no fucking sense at all I think for me like on something like this, it is just the way... I think... Yeah, I don't want to do this because I know how you feel about it. But I do think let's just go out to the listeners and see what they think.
Starting point is 00:36:18 Okay, fine. Guys, can you email in and tell me what you think of this percentage argument? And I'm sure what will happen is we'll get a thousand emails saying Tom's absolutely correct. And then I'll have to come back on here next week and I'll see you fucking hard on in hand waiting for the result of that vote. Just going at it a thousand percent. So when I get into the wrestling world, I will give it everything. Let's just say I'll give it everything I've got. Which is 100%.
Starting point is 00:36:47 So, yeah. I mean, look, I'm not going to go down that road. I wish I hadn't sounded so passionate about it because it just makes me sound like such a fucking nerd, doesn't it? You know, you sound more upset about that than the pigeon that landed you in your face in the dentist. That was four years ago. I've had time to sort of process it.
Starting point is 00:37:05 Four years time, you'll turn around and go, actually, I've had time to sort of process it. Four years time you'll turn around and go actually I've maybe overreacted to the thousand percent. I mean the idea that you think we'll still be talking in four
Starting point is 00:37:11 years time staggers me. So I will give the rest of the thing everything I've got and I will get in the ring. All right.
Starting point is 00:37:18 And I'll just yeah and me and Freddie together we're talking about potentially tag team but I'll probably also do some single matches as well. Yeah sure.
Starting point is 00:37:24 Well good luck with that, man. Well, you know what I was thinking, whether you wanted to be, you know, like The Undertaker had Paul Bearer with him, like a manager character. You could be like, sort of like my manager. Why do you look so disappointed? I'm just sort of thinking it's like,
Starting point is 00:37:42 do you know when I when i was a kid uh every now and again i'd be going out my little brother would want to come out and play with me and my mates and then i say you can like um how about you carry the the cricket bat and he'd be like yeah thank you know like the basically it's the task that you give the the guy that you don't really want to be there no That's what I feel like you're doing. You could just be in the corner and rev me up and go,
Starting point is 00:38:12 you can get him. Destroy him. Give 100% whatever you shout. And then every now and again, I'd throw them into the ropes and you'd pull their leg or something. Yeah, okay. I think that you could have sold it better to me. Like, for example, you cannot ever seem to do my voice
Starting point is 00:38:31 without putting that kind of nasally twang on it, even when you're inviting me to do something with you. No, I just think you'd be cute if you're there and you're in the corner. You could even do that, say that with the spicy mackerel. Remember Mankind used to have that sock they used to put
Starting point is 00:38:48 in people's face. Yeah. Okay, so what I don't think that I'm going to be doing is being a South Asian origin wrestling manager whose special move
Starting point is 00:39:00 is putting curried mackerel in people's faces. special moves is putting curried mackerel in people's faces. I just think it's a funny story that you've got there, and it could be just a sort of like, or you could just tickle people. I can hold them down and you just tickle them. That doesn't feel very 2021, to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:39:21 We can think about it. I'm spitballinging but if you text me some ideas of like special moves and stuff or costumes you might want to wear sure
Starting point is 00:39:28 I'll send you some I'll send you like a mood board a bit later on or something Pinterest thing right do you want some emails yes boy
Starting point is 00:39:38 okay so we've got emails on various little bits of stuff that we were talking about from last week so first of all we've got emails on various little bits of stuff that we were talking about from last week. So first of all, we've got an email from Liz May.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Hi, Liz. And Liz says her email is titled Little Mermaid, Stalker, I Romantic. So this is you and I were talking about, we were talking about you getting in touch with people and you in particular getting in touch with this guy from Married at First Sight. And then we started arguing. Not arguing.
Starting point is 00:40:08 We had a discussion as friends about Little Mermaid. This is her take on it. It's a 50-50 for me. I agree with Tom that it was a good analogy, the Little Mermaid. Thank you, Liz. But the reason I agree is that Ariel is a a total stalker so in that way i agree with ron wow also it goes totally pear-shaped for uh pretty early on so if anything it should be serving as a cautionary tale for tom don't meet your celebrity idol or crush because he'll leave
Starting point is 00:40:39 you for a sea witch wow um it then says and i think this might be the most exciting part of the email for you cheers from New Zealand oh wow wow that's amazing I thought you'd like that our first correspondence
Starting point is 00:40:54 from New Zealand I believe so yeah that's exciting isn't it how do you feel about that I mean it's been a while since I've felt anything really but it's nice
Starting point is 00:41:04 also because you sort of broke the top off this is actually the highlight of my week I mean, it's been a while since I felt anything, really. But it's nice. Also, because you sort of broke the top off, this is actually the highlight of my week. The thing that made me so frigging happy is, I think, on Monday, Romesh texted me a picture. And it was a picture of a scene from Married at First Sight Australia. And I was like, my G has cracked open the can that is the greatest show on planet Earth at the moment. Now,
Starting point is 00:41:29 I am very, very early on on this show. So I'll tell you where I've got to. And I have got to the first episode where they start following on Honeymoon. That's not too bad. They're long episodes.
Starting point is 00:41:44 Oh mate, it's insane. yeah. Oh, well, yeah, that's not too bad. I mean, they're long episodes. You're an hour and a half film. Oh, mate, it's insane. Because, you know, when you said to me, oh, like, try and catch up, I was like, yeah, I didn't realise that these were 90-minute eps. I mean, it's pretty phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:41:55 It's insane. And you know what? You're enthralled through the whole thing, right? Oh, mate, it's... No, you think that's a fucking movie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:01 Every week is a movie, or every day is a movie. So much to come. This week, there was an episode which was almost like The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones. Really? Mate, I was like, no one is safe. No one.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I was like genuinely on the edge of my seat. I was like, frigging heck. Can I just talk a little bit about, bearing in mind I don't know how he goes on to develop, but I just want to talk about dino uh for a minute if i may now okay dino is uh of indian origin i believe yeah yeah he's a he's a meditation facilitator i think his job is yeah yeah i was talking about this with Lacey yesterday. I find Dino, and listen, you might know that Dino develops into something. I find Dino sort of arsehole, clenchingly cringeworthy, right?
Starting point is 00:42:56 In sort of his kind of his whole vibe. And every time he speaks, I've got to be honest with you, I find it almost unbearable. I feel harsh saying this, right? Every season that I've watched of this, and I've watched all of them, I'm just showing off a bit. How does this compare to the other seasons? If I'm going to be honest, at first I was like,
Starting point is 00:43:18 well, I'm not sure. This week has just blown me away. To the point where every day I'm like, fucking hell, man, roll on seven. And I'm watching it in real time. I'm watching it with adverts and shit because i can't even wait for that stuff to fucking crack in sure and do you know what i do is i now i video the um i video the junior bake off just so i have a little bit something chilled after where it's a little bit of decency and good humanity with harry hill's amazing on that and i just find that after because it's this week
Starting point is 00:43:45 is ramped up man there is and i feel a bit for dino and mel i mean you're going to catch up hopefully and but dino and mel are they're they're they're a couple i find a bit like if you're at dinner party with them you'd be like oh fucking hell uh can i ask you a couple of questions about it so for so for people that don't know at First Sight is this thing where these people who for whatever reason want some help with finding a life partner so they submit themselves to this process
Starting point is 00:44:13 and these experts all of whom I find intensely fucking annoying by the way what I love them I think they're amazing are you being serious i think i really enjoy them i love john i think he's so spiritual i mean that's probably where i'm coming that's actually that's on me because these people are trying to help people find love the fact that i would criticize them and say i find them really
Starting point is 00:44:40 annoying probably says something about my dark heart more than any of any of them so anyway that these people submit themselves to this process right and um they get paired up and then and then for is it a 10-week experiment right 10 weeks okay so here are my questions uh or my question my main question is can you bail at any point and from this 10 weeks so you can't bow unless you both both you and your wife both turn around or you and your husband both turn around and say leave at the commitment ceremony. Okay. So every week there's a commitment ceremony.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Right. And you basically are asked if you want to stay or go. And you both had to say go. So if one of you, sorry. So if one of you says go and the other one doesn't. Yeah. Then you're what, trapped? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Mate, wait. Wait till that happens. It will blow your mind. Okay. And then you'll actually see the experts and see how incredible they are. So have you seen much of Matthew on there? No, I've not seen that.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Now, Matthew, listen, if you're about to watch Married at First Sight, we're about to talk about this quite openly, and so I don't want you to ruin it for you. Matthew is 19, is that right? No, no, he's 29. No, he's 29. Matthew is 29, and his big secret is, or his big reveal,
Starting point is 00:46:01 is that he's a virgin, right? Yeah. He's a good-looking guy as well. He's got a sick body. Now, I don't know why, but I was totally thrown by the way you just said that. What? Like, he's a really good-looking guy.
Starting point is 00:46:13 He's got a sick body. Were you doing that deliberately? No, no, no. He has got an incredible body. Wait till you see him, I think, in episode four or five. He's got his top off. Okay. I mean, there's a...
Starting point is 00:46:23 I have to tell people when i laugh like this by the way that is because of romesh's expression it's not me laughing at myself it's i look at romesh's face and it it's just the sheer horror of what i've just said just um so anyway so anyway look i don't know anything else about him right right? I've only seen him in the first thing and I'm about to watch the episode where he has his wedding. What I will tell you... It's very sweet. By the way, let me just clarify something.
Starting point is 00:46:54 I really like Matthew. Right. And actually I don't know how you felt. I found it really uneasy, you know, when I had the lads night and they sort of throw him under the bus a bit. Yeah, but do you know what? I think that's what blokes do mate you know like you and i both know because basically what happens is in the beginning the night before this is the first time they've done this right yeah so the night before
Starting point is 00:47:14 all the women are in a having like a hen do together they've only just met for the first time and all the blokes do it as well blokes in a group that is the most savage disgusting horrendous insensitive situation you can ever find yourself in and so this poor guy
Starting point is 00:47:31 everybody's talking about what are you going to do on the first night I'm going to absolutely fucking smash it I'm going to fucking absolutely go for it and then this guy's
Starting point is 00:47:37 just been very quiet and I can't remember the bit where they sense blood which I really felt for him is when he didn't drink as soon as he walked in there and he was like oh yeah would you want a beer and he said I'll just have a water The bit where they sensed blood, which I really felt for him, is when he didn't drink. Yeah. As soon as he walked in there and he was like,
Starting point is 00:47:47 oh, yeah, what do you want a beer? And he said, I'll just have a water. And then they just all were like, what are you, drink, mate? And he was the last to come. I mean, I think January production-wise, they were pretty shitty. I mean, no, not shitty.
Starting point is 00:47:59 They knew exactly what they were doing. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were sending Nemo into a shark's bed. They want the te-Total virgin to turn up last. 100% that's what. You know who was the most relieved?
Starting point is 00:48:10 Dino, when that happened. Yeah. See Dino's face. Dino was like, oh, mate, I'm going to get fucking annoyed over here.
Starting point is 00:48:16 Nothing can save me. Hi, my name's Matthew. I don't drink and I'm a virgin. Oh, hey, man. Come here. Hey, come in here, you pathetic little V-plate.
Starting point is 00:48:28 So anyway, hey, man. Come here, son. Hey, come in here, you pathetic little V-plate. So anyway, listen, what I would say is that if you're not watching Married at First Light Australia, get involved. Can I just say to you as well? Yeah, go on. From what I know, mate, from what I'm thinking, I think you haven't seen Bronson and Innes, have you? No.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Yeah, you've got all the best couples to come and you haven't seen Sam and Elizabeth. So all the best couples come in and you've got the honeymoon. Yeah, you've got all the best couples to come and you haven't seen Sam and Elizabeth. So all the best couples coming and you've got the honeymoon episode and then you've got a mate. Like, that's where, mate, that's where it cranks up and you're like, fucking hell.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Well, look, I love it so far. So I... Mate, it gets better and better. All right. Okay, our next email. Hi, guys. This is from Zach. uh hi guys uh big fan of the podcast can i just say something quickly go on if i could change my name to anything it'll probably be zach
Starting point is 00:49:14 i like the name zach i thought it's jeremiah yeah i love jeremiah but it's just listening to where you said zach i'd fucking love it every time i I see you, like, yo, Zach. I wouldn't say yo. I don't say yo, Tom, do I? So what suddenly, because your name is Zach, I'm saying yo.
Starting point is 00:49:30 I just think it'd be like, can you imagine in a place where like people would be like, oh my God, what were you, what did you do last night, Rob? And you're like, oh,
Starting point is 00:49:37 fucking me and big Zach. I don't know if we'd be friends if you were called Zach. We would definitely be friends. Rob and Zach. Rob and Zach. we'd be friends if you were called zach we would definitely be for rob and zach rob and zach by the way that's not that's nothing against zach i think zach's a great name and actually i love that one of the things uh one of the things uh as a teacher that makes it quite difficult when you're trying to think of names for your kids is is knowing kids with those names that
Starting point is 00:50:05 sort of know human beings with bad names and so and actually i've got to say most of the zacks i came up against uh in my teaching with great kids so i'm a big fan of zach i just don't think you've got a zach vibe about you really i think i could smash the zach you people would be like oh fucking big zach's fucking cool as fuck man i wonder I wonder if actually, now that you've said that, it's quite an interesting point. I wonder if your name was Zach, you would be a different person personality-wise. I think you are, man. I've got a friend called Kieran Hawks. Kieran Hawks is like the coolest fucking guy I've ever met.
Starting point is 00:50:37 How could he not be? He's like Kieran Hawks. Yeah. I do think because also, imagine if your parents called you Zach, that means your parents, because they called you Tom, right? There's nothing wrong with Tom. But what I mean is Tom is orthodox. That's an orthodox naming strategy, right?
Starting point is 00:50:53 Whereas Zach, that suggests that they're thinking like a bit more outside the box, which might mean that the way they bring you up is a little bit more outside. You know, you could be a completely different dude, right? That basically just means that when your parents are looking at you and you're literally in the your your utmost infancy yeah they look at you and go i don't think he's got it in him to handle a name like zach no my sister's called beth not even elizabeth that's a cool name beth is like at that time you know it's like your kid you got a kid called theo that's a fucking epic name to call a kid that you know that is a
Starting point is 00:51:25 fucking cool name theo yeah he's fucking he'll fear i bet theo's fucking theo doesn't give two shits about anything he can walk for he can literally walk between the raindrops yeah i wish he did give more of a shit about stuff sometimes particularly you gave him theo particularly earning the respect of his father i wish he cared about that a bit yeah but then what is like your name is Romesh, right? It's like, Romesh is so you. I just couldn't imagine you literally, you'd tell
Starting point is 00:51:52 people now, I can't imagine Thomas, his name being Zach, or even Theo, I think I'd be pretty confident. You wish you could bring yourself to be well known. Thierry? I'd love the name'd love the name i would love the name tieri yeah but the thing is the problem is is that tieri davis is quite good tieri ranganathan
Starting point is 00:52:12 tieri ranganathan's a sit by the way your surname is fucking i remember when i first heard your surname i was like can't wait to meet this guy but he's gonna be so fucking cool but your name has made the coolest sounding fucking, Ranganation is a fucking the coolest sounding show in England.
Starting point is 00:52:29 I had to change my name to another average name to make a show, King Gary. King's that. Now King's that. When I made up a name for myself,
Starting point is 00:52:39 right, I even had so little opinion of what I could carry off as an actor. Yeah. I called my character Gary. No offense to Gary, it's because I've got a lot of good friends called Gary.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah. But that's, I think, and I think I'm batting a little, that's me reaching my maximum. Sleep. Sleep in Murder Unsuccessful was called Des. Des Sleep.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Yeah. If the show is called King Zach, that's a very different show, isn't it? Some guy that's got magic powers or some shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Zach's email says, love the episode this week, that's a very different show isn't it some guy's got magic powers or some shit yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:53:05 anyway zach's email says love the episode this week especially the bits about the cinema as i used to work at one oh cool tom is so right about the popcorn and cheese sauce it was so popular when i worked there getting a cheeky pot of cheese sauce to dip their popcorn in was a popular choice now oh wow i didn't know you could do that. Wow. Yeah. Now, let me just say something, Zach, because I know what you sort of said is Tom is so right. Having some popcorn and asking for some cheese sauce is one thing, right? And obviously you can get cheese popcorn, and that's a nice thing. What I'm saying is Tom's story about getting nacho and cheese.
Starting point is 00:53:45 And if you remember how he described it, he put that into his mouth. He chewed it up a little bit. He said it was like a washing machine. And then he would throw some popcorn in there to give himself a vibrant taste explosion or whatever. That's what my issue is with, right? I've got no, I don't, I'm not contesting the fact that cheese sauce might be nice with popcorn. I've got no, I don't, I'm not contesting the fact that cheese sauce might be nice with popcorn. I'm talking about a man sort of using his mouth like some sort of culinary cement mixer.
Starting point is 00:54:17 That's what I sort of took issue with. I think you're just jealous. That's what I think it is. Why am I jealous of what? Because you can't get that sweet, sweet cheese sauce. So it's like something you'll never be able to have. Just sort of like you're looking yonder and just thinking, oh, like you see my mouth just chewing and sort of my eyes just lusting.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And you're like, oh, well, I wish I could just have that taste explosion. So it sort of made you sort of like, you're a bit like the dragon in Shrek. How am I like the dragon in Shrek? How am I like the dragon in Shrek? Well, you just put yourself in a castle on your own and sort of burnt everything around you because you can't have the cheese sauce. It's such a... What the fuck are you talking about? oh god uh anyway he goes that goes on okay go on zach uh fun fact one of the most common things we used to find in screens were Zach goes on. Okay. Go on, Zach.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Fun fact. One of the most common things we used to find in screens were people's toenails. People would literally cut or tear them off and leave them in the cup holders. Toenails? Yeah. Toenails?
Starting point is 00:55:40 So you want to take your shoes and socks off? Yeah. Or you're wearing Birkenstocks. Fucking hell, I've got more issues with someone who's wearing Birkenstocks. If you're somebody who's picking their fucking toenails, I can't stand Birkenstocks. I know you've got a pair. No, I'll tell you why I've got a pair.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Because I fucking agreed to appear in King Gary. That's why I've got a pair, mate. You kept them. You stole those from Sam. No, I don't. Fuck off. I'll have to ask costume if they're still there
Starting point is 00:56:08 let me see something people Tom put me in King Gary which I'm absolutely delighted by by the way I think King Gary as you know Tom
Starting point is 00:56:16 I'm honoured to be part of it to turn up on the first day of my filming and to then emerge from the trailer in the outfit they've chosen for me to see
Starting point is 00:56:27 Tom and his fucking gang of cronies waiting outside because they're so excited about seeing what I'm going to look like in these clothes. They're at the first sight. Me and the lighting boys. Got the gaffers. Big Jimmy. Hey, let's get them out there
Starting point is 00:56:46 in those fucking Birkenstocks. And then he finishes off by saying, people do crazy stuff in the cinema. Quite a few times, adults would literally take a crap in the urinals. What? It was mental. See, I've never been to a cinema like that.
Starting point is 00:57:02 Where's Zach from, does he say? No, he doesn't. He just says... That's why I miss letters. That's why I miss letters. What do you mean? Well, a letter you put your fucking address and shit on it so you know where the person...
Starting point is 00:57:14 Huh? Yeah, but you have an idea of the person. At the moment, Zach's cool and I like that Zach is a decent guy. I just want to know where there's a cinema where people are shitting in urinals. It's disgusting. Yeah. Well, he said it's cool and I like that Zach is a decent guy but I just want to know where there's a cinema where people are shitting in urinals. It's disgusting. He said it's only happened a few times. He certainly wouldn't judge the town
Starting point is 00:57:33 or him based on the fact that some fucking lunatics have shat in a urinal. Do you think it's just one person or someone's turned around and said I'll just shit in a urinal, it's fucking cool. I don't know what's more disturbing. If it's a common thing that loads of people do if it's one person that keeps doing it repeatedly i mean yeah it's both pretty sad look tom it's um it's about that time um i don't know how you're gonna do this but
Starting point is 00:58:00 well it's time for you to talk about today we talked about oh yeah i know yeah i know okay tom can you uh can you take us home please there's many twinkling stars that sit upon the sky some of them shine brighter and you don't really know why you can look upstairs and look yonder and hope for the best but there's not really stars that shine as big as the star that is inside you that you have to ignite every time you make that step from your bed and enter a new day. That's the moment you need to look at that star and say, how much percent am I giving this? How much fire am I giving this? Can I give it more? Can I be better?
Starting point is 00:58:48 Can I reach the stars that shine so bright in yonder? I'm telling you now, you've got this. You're amazing. Go do it. As Michael Jordan once said, just do it. That's really good. Oh shit, I've got to tell you, have you seen the fucking...
Starting point is 00:59:13 Man, I can't even remember the guy's name. A guy has mixed all of these that we've done, summing up with me and you talking, and he's put it into a beat, like a streets beat. Oh really? Is it good? It's incredible. It sounds good. well bearing in mind i don't ever feature in this section no no you are one of them just go what are you talking about right and on that it'll bring it to a close thank you so much tom i love you man i'll see you next time
Starting point is 00:59:43 see you next time my brother if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com
Starting point is 01:00:01 that's wolfalpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.

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