Wolf and Owl - Episode 9
Episode Date: January 27, 2021We’re talking… hair gel, spicy mackerel snacks, grief with teeth and a wrestling tag-team challenge. Plus more of your emails answered and an update on Married At First Sight. For any feedback, qu...estions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Order up for Damien.
Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way?
Did you ask about Rebelsis?
Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today.
Did you say Rebelsis?
My dad's been talking about Rebelsis.
Rebelsis? Really?
Yeah, he says it's a pill that...
That's right!
Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans?
Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me.
Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca.
Order up for Rebelsis.
We are all connected.
Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil.
Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Dorado Lakeshore Boulevard West.
Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com.
Echo. Thanks for It's presenting partners.
Sun life today.
Something is coming.
Kong Godzilla.
They can feel it.
Fight together.
It's human up or face extinction.
Godzilla Kong,
the new empire now playing only in theaters.
Yeah. Yeah. What'd you want you want beak or jaws
feathers or fur sharp teeth or feet
with claws whatever's preferred they'll
grant you all last requests to steady your nerves
then podcast the body parts get severed
and served bring your weak shit
wear the wolf and owler that ain't just
a mistake that's an awful howler
both of them are known to pull up at your shows
have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rode in with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing Outro Music Impressive in it, the death bringing his head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men
Dressed up as a bird and a dog
Welcome to the Wolf and Owl podcast, episode 9
This is me, the owl, Romesh Ranganathan
And obviously joining me is the wolf, Tom Davis, hello mate
Woohoo!
The wolf is in the house
Do you think, do I have to do that intro every time? Tom Davis. Hello, mate. The wolf is in the house.
Do you think,
do I have to do that intro every time?
You know what?
I don't think you do,
but I enjoy watching you do it because I find it quite amusing that you have to do it every time.
So what do you,
how do you think I should start it?
If I'm honest with you,
if it was me and like,
you know,
you have,
I mean,
it can be, it can be you if you want no no
it's better with you also look to tell everyone who's listening for the first five episodes of
this romesh did wear a t-shirt that his wife brought him which said the host of the most
i think you could just say welcome to the wall for now and I hope now after nine episodes people know who they've got
yeah let's hope so
but I'm just so used
to sort of being asked
you know
if we didn't do that
I guarantee the episode
would go out
and people go
for the first
you get a message
for the first half an hour
I was completely unsure
as to who it was
I was listening to
very confusing
do you ever get the
things like
we put that picture up
on Instagram this week
why we both put the same picture up
because we
we need to fucking up our game
on that shit
because some people have got
proper posters and shit mate
but
like someone
actually a couple of people
put
well Rob it looks like
you've just shaved your head
yeah
just taking a picture of yourself
talking to yourself
I saw that
yeah
I don't
I don't think we look that alike
I mean aside the beard like i mean actually we have got similar noses actually now looking at it
oh yeah we have from that look if i tilt my head like there you go it's pretty similar and actually
our mouths are quite alike in a way so you do do you so let's just clarify do you do you do think
we look alike then you know coming into this um this podcast
i was like that's a ridiculous thing to say and now i'm sitting looking at your face and we're
side by side like a mirror reflection yeah yeah i can see you know what do you know i think no do
you know i think it's happened i think you'd be watching me and you think oh he looks quite good
and now you sort of aspirationally sort of saying that you look like me i have by the way got that
pair of glasses i could literally i've got a similar pair of glasses to that I could put on
and we could look really alike.
Maybe we should do that on the next one, shall we?
That'd be a real treat.
Like dressed as twins.
You should shave your head.
No, I've done that before.
Do you know what?
I've got to tell you this now.
Your skull shape is perfect for a bald head.
My skull shape is.
Do you know what I've got under here?
I've got an agassi.
You know, that kind of pregnant cranium thing.
Now, listen, obviously,
Andre Agassi can pull it off.
He's a very good-looking guy.
My looks cannot take that.
I cannot shoulder the burden of that.
As a friend, I'd really like to see you do.
It's just like one day,
just really gel all your hair back.
Did you ever do that when you were younger?
I did gel my hair. I don't think I ever gelled it back you know that's the proper slick back
yeah yeah when i was probably about 13 14 maybe i watched uh the godfather right uh and uh i was
obsessed with michael corleone and i just went out you, really cheap fucking gel you used to get. Yeah, yeah. Like jelly.
Yeah.
And I remember going to school.
Why was it that that gel was like the default hair product?
Just anybody, any boy at school that used a hair product,
it would all just gel. Just those clear tubs with like the blue or purple or whatever.
Or green, yeah.
Yeah, just slam it straight in.
Do you remember the day you found Brylcreem?
Like, you just thought, fucking hell, Brylcreem and Lynx, I've fucking made it.
I'm a grown now.
I remember getting, so I had that and it really set it, set hard.
Yeah.
Like on my head.
But I've got like a widow's peak.
Yeah.
So really for, like, and I remember going downstairs and went down for it.
It was like, you're not fucking going to school like that, man.
In my head,
I was in like this,
all my school clothes
were too small for me.
So,
but in my head,
I thought,
I look like fucking
Michael Corleone.
Got on a bus
and everyone,
no one went to me,
oh mate,
you look like Michael Corleone
from The Godfather
because I was probably
the only person
who'd watched that movie
at the time.
How old were you?
13,
I think.
Yeah. It's a big ask for you to gel your hair
and think people are going to put that together with Michael Corleone.
You're asking people to make quite a journey.
Most of the kids on the bus were like,
oh my God, you look like you've brushed your hair with a pork chop.
It's actually quite good for kids of that age yeah yeah no there were some savage
kids at my school were fucking amazing but i'll tell you a horrendous story like about but i don't
know if i told you the story before but what like my mum used to experiment with this is by the way
i have never seen or heard of this before or since right right what my mum did right so my mum used
to experiment with like
curries and stuff like that and obviously one of the things one of the problems of being an asian
kid is that is that the food that your parents cook is very strong smelling it permeates your
clothes and so you know it's it's a it's a problem right so so just quickly just say by the way my mum is very much like that even like
so my mum's very like my dad is not as much he's got more like it with age but my mum when we were
kids we were like my mum would be cooking funky things like she used to send me into school like
a bag of chickpeas yeah instead of crisps once my mum took me to go and watch Jurassic Park,
right?
And I was sat over
watching Jurassic Park
and she brought with her,
you know,
I know we were talking
about cinema snacks last week,
but she brought with her
deep fried spicy mackerel,
right?
That she wrapped in foil.
I don't even know
what a fun time,
you just know what's coming.
Midway through the film, she opened the foil, right?
It was like a fucking chemical weapon, right?
Like the whole theatre stank of it.
We're the only Asian people in that theatre.
I remember being torn between the fact that I feel like
we look like such
stereotypical Asians,
but also
I really want this mackerel.
Do you know what I mean?
It's just that.
How old were you like,
13, 14 at the time?
I must have been, yeah.
13, 14.
Yeah, Jurassic Park, yeah.
Oh no, wait,
you'd have been about 16,
would you have?
16 going to the cinema
of your mum.
You thought that was the embarrassing thing,
the spicy mackerel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're out, Rob.
See you at the cinema at the weekend with your mum.
Yeah.
You're joking about the spicy mackerel.
No, no, no, no.
I'll see you at the cinema this weekend with your mum.
I'm going to say the spicy mackerel
was not even on the top five list of reasons
why that was an embarrassing trip for you, bro.
the top five list of reasons why that was an embarrassing trip for you bro anyway so so at school right so i'm used to experiment with curries and that
one day i still can't i still i sort of can't believe i'm this she made garlic curry right as
in geez you know how you know when you get little cloves of garlic in with your lamb
like this thing was composed entirely of garlic right what just garlic yeah my mum my mum i don't
know if your parents have my mum's got this thing where i think it might be it might be an asian
parent thing but i think it's a mum thing generally where she read every week she would read something
about this thing's good for you or that thing's good for you should you should drink lemon water
three times a day you should rub turmeric into your gums's good for you or that thing's good for you. You should drink lemon water three times a day.
You should rub turmeric into your gums or whatever.
Do you know what I mean?
Like she's always got some sort of remedy thing.
My mum was very much like that.
Yeah.
So this particular week she'd read about garlic thinning your blood.
And obviously garlic is good for you.
I wouldn't say it's, I don't think it's possible for the body to absorb the amount of garlic nutrients that my mum had made me eat that day. It was delicious. I mean, listen, it was, you know, it's possible for the body to absorb the amount of garlic nutrients that my mama my mama
made me eat that day it was delicious i mean listen it was you know it's fine she did it well
anyway the next day it i mean it must have been fucking oozing from my paws right because as soon
as i got onto the school bus the second i got onto the school bus the fucking entire bus started rinsing me right like just
absolutely destroying me like oh my god what what do you smell like man oh mate you literally just
got off a banana boat just like super fucking horrendous shit right uh i sat down on the coach
absolutely devastated the whole day at school, I was getting like properly,
every lesson I go into, new kids smell what I smell like.
Do you know what I mean?
It's just horrendous, right?
I'm sort of sat in a lesson, almost in tears, right?
And my English teacher says to me,
Romesh, can you stay behind?
So I stay behind.
I stay behind.
And he goes to me, what's going on?
And I tell him the story.
And the whole time I'm telling him the story,
I'm just thinking to myself, I stink of garlic.
I mean, I don't know what it was like for him.
I don't know at what point he would have gone,
look, Ramesh, look, that sounds really horrible.
And some of those comments were clearly racist.
But can I just say something?
You do fucking stink.
Let me help you help yourself
here. I would suggest
if you're an Asian kid, go into
a school that's predominantly white, as this one is,
try not to come
in smelling like that because you're only
doing yourself
a disservice.
So how have you been,
Tomo?
I'm not,
do you know this week,
right?
I'm livid.
Right,
look at my tooth.
Yeah,
you sent me a photo of this.
What exactly has gone on there?
So,
week one of lockdown one,
I break my tooth.
Yeah.
I give it a little break right it's not
bad how did you do it uh i think it was popcorn from what i remember it was a long time ago now
and then on new year's eve uh just as we're saying goodbye to 2020 uh i broke it even more uh i was
eating some cheese and biscuits and uh just a fucking rogue rough cracker just was in the mix uh with one of those
big seeds in it and uh i mean you'd know about seeds you're like the seed king um all right
you know like you know every now and again i'll get sent oh wait two seconds yeah my asos uh
things here oh for fuck's sake wait there two seconds
so those of you well i say those of you that listening i'm only talking to people that
listening tom's excitement at hearing the door go because asos packages here i need to find out
what it is because he's obviously buzzing about it he's coming back now um you're right mate
i don't even think that what what was it i don't think it was i don't even think that was
what was it
I don't think it was
I don't think it is my ASOS
I was just saying by the way
while you were gone
you're really excited about
whatever it is
that's coming from ASOS
what is it you've ordered
just another track suit
what track suit
a Nike one
nice
it's like
brown trousers
with a sort of khaki top.
Very cool.
I'll take some pictures.
So we're talking about seeds.
Seeds, yeah.
Sorry.
Oh, yeah.
So every now and again, I get sent vegan snacks to try.
Yeah, yeah.
And I remember I got a couple of bags of like some snack thing,
and I just threw them in the cupboard.
And about a month later, I opened the cupboard again to get some.
And they'd like fucking sprouted in the bag.
Really?
Yeah.
Fucking hell.
What, the seeds had sprouted?
Yeah.
Fucking hell, man.
That's mad.
So I had had this seed and it broke that tooth.
It's taken me nearly a month to get an appointment.
I go in to get the tooth done.
Straight away, he sort of
yeah he's a
he was a big fan of yours
so there was a lot of chatting
about you
how much he
rates you as a comedian
you don't have to say
there's so much resentment
by the way
well no because
usually I'm like
oh yeah no he's brilliant
he's really funny
but this guy's fucked my tooth
because he was so interested
now I look like a fucking hillbilly
who's just got back from
Capitol Hill
because this guy was so excited
that I knew you no but you've seen him before right this is like your first time he was so interested. Now I look like a fucking hillbilly who's just got back from Capitol Hill because this guy was so excited
that I knew you.
No, but you've seen him before, right?
No, this is the first time.
Oh, right.
This is a new guy.
This is the first time we'd stepped out together
as dentist and patient.
Right.
Why have you gone to a new guy?
Because I usually go in London.
Oh, I see.
And now, yeah.
But anyway, at the end of it,
I was just like,
that tooth's just a little bit bigger than the other one, right?
And he was like, yeah, it's a little bit bigger,
but, you know, it's temporary.
So, yeah, it's fine. It's cool.
How temporary is temporary?
Till, I think, the 3rd of February.
Okay, fine.
But I was like, yeah, but it's not fixed, is it?
So it's the same as the other one.
Did you say it with this tone that you're saying it to me?
Well, I wasn't happy about it, but I was probably more annoyed now
because now I've realised I can't eat.
Yeah, but you're not happy about it,
but also your ongoing comfort is dependent on this guy
wanting to help you, right?
Well, it's also now, and the fact that I guess him by his conversation
probably listens to this podcast because he's obsessed with you.
So what did this say
so he says to me um that uh it's just you know it's fixed like for the moment and
i was a bit if i took my car into a mechanics right and the guy went i fixed your car and then
i drove about two foot and it broke down again and he went well it's fixed enough for the moment
you know it'll be better on the third of fe or third i was like you haven't done your job properly sure it's like
literally you can eat like with the back of my mouth but i like to chew at the front as well
and also he started having a go at my fucking underbite well what's wrong with your underbite
apparently i bite like two on top of my teeth right but i should have more of an underbite
yeah i mean there is no point there is no point visually demonstrating it to me this is a podcast but go on yeah yeah well yeah no but you've got quite a
substantial underbite have i right yeah you've got a good underbite your teeth are incredible
by the way they're not they're absolutely not mine have thank you for saying that but go on
you know what like i think the last good year of my teeth was 2020 and no one fucking saw them
really now they're deteriorating
because you can't you can't rub every 2020 is a worse year that a lot of people have had you
can't start lording it over them with how well your teeth you know like if i'd known that this
was good like 2019 would be their last big outing right like i'd have probably fucking enjoyed them
more yeah eating more apples or something more boiled sweet actually less bored sweet
have you seen how much
corn on the cob
Tom's getting through
he's just
he's absolutely
loving life
mate
I could
I love corn on the cob
by the way
and I'm making
fucking incredible
I couldn't even go near
one at the moment
like corn on the cob
for me would literally
like be like going
into a fucking
like a punch up
it would like
it'd be like me
fighting Mike Tyson
okay so now
now you've said that
can I tell you something
now you've said that I am starting to you something? Now you've said that,
I am starting to get an idea of how annoying that is now.
Because having to stay away from certain foods,
that sounds like a blow.
Like even certain foods, right,
where you hear that snap,
where you take that first bite, yeah?
Yeah.
Like a sandwich.
Something as simple as a sandwich.
What have you got in a sandwich?
I'm all over the killer.
What have you got in a sandwich to make it snap?
Well, two of what I haven't got in the fucking sandwich is cucumber, mate.
Cucumber?
Cucumber is a problem.
If I took a bite out of a sandwich with a big old lump of cucumber in it, right?
Yeah.
The cucumber would be like impaled on this massive fucking front tooth.
Right.
And everything else would be in my mouth.
So what, you'd pull away from the sandwich and the whole, the whole slice of cucumber
would come out
in a hole.
Yeah.
Just sort of speared
by that front tooth.
You're like a narwhal,
aren't you?
I'm genuinely,
I'm like,
fucking hell, man.
Skewered by your tusk.
The way I hold my mouth.
Yeah,
that's,
I mean,
that's horrible.
You look like,
you look like,
what was that, Emma Thompson movie? N, that's horrible. You look like... What was that Emma Thompson movie?
Nanny McPhee.
I look like fucking Nanny McPhee.
I need to cut the balls on my nose.
I will say this.
I didn't need another thing on my fucking face to go wrong.
No.
I really didn't.
I've even started now
just like training
because I'm like,
if I'm going to look
like a redneck
for the rest of my life,
I need to look at least,
I can't be a fat guy
with one big tooth.
But hold on,
was the guy saying
that this is your fault
or something?
What happened?
Is he not sorting it out?
Yeah, he's going to sort it out
but he wants to,
there's talk about
an invisible brace.
We're talking about that
at the moment.
Okay, fine.
I mean, to be fair to you, he was actually a very pleasant guy and i'm giving he was a very good good guy i actually really enjoyed his company up until uh the um the the big tooth
so so i've got i've got a bit of a phobia of dentists right and but everyone says this right
yeah but so so i was looking i went looking for a dentist because there are dentists that deal with nervous patients.
You know, that they're...
Oh, my God.
Right, so...
I love you, but please, like, I genuinely am...
Yeah.
Go on, no, go on, go on, put your boot in.
Well, like, that's just...
One of your best mates has just shared a fucking anxiety he's got
and you're about to put the boot in.
Go on.
Why am I a prick for that?
Go on.
It's not you're a prick, but it's like a bit of a cowardly custard on the basis that you're about to put the boot in go on why am i a prick for that go on it's not you're
a prick but it's like a bit of a cowardly custard on the basis that you've got like did you tell
lisa you were doing this listen there is nothing i can tell lisa that will make me less alluring
and attractive to her so yes i did tell her i cut like i love you to death genuinely like i'd have
to work so hard to find someone i love as much as you. And I hope my wife doesn't hear that.
But the thought of you going through the internet and going on Google
and then just calling up a dentist and someone going,
hello, Rose Queen Dentist.
And you're like, hi, are you the dentist for nervous patients?
Can I tell you something?
If I'd Googled them and then I phoned them up,
I wouldn't then ask them if they'd answered Rose Brown.
It's not a Simpsons episode.
Yeah, but they say...
They don't just turn around and go,
hi, the dentist for nervous patients.
No, but if the dentist is called, like,
Pussy Dentist or whatever,
and then they answer the phone saying Pussy Dentist,
I'm not going to go...
That's a whole different thing.
I don't know why
I thought... I don't know why I
freestyled that name.
Oh, no, no, no. The name's confusing.
Yeah.
This is actually a dentist
for people with vaginal teeth.
Sorry.
It's quite rare.
Oh, you're trying
because you're a coward
and you can't see dentists.
So anyway...
That's Mark's speciality.
So anyway, I looked...
I found a dentist, right,
that's good for cowardly custards.
And so they said to me that...
They'll look after me, right?
So I went to this dentist
and the guy, a really nice bloke, right?
And they've got,
they do it all,
they've got speakers in the chair.
You can have whatever music
you want on
and stuff like that, right?
So.
Whoa,
what are you listening to this for?
Wait, who's talking?
You know you're driving
a 2024 Ford Escape
with available Alexa built in
so you can change the music.
Oh yeah.
Alexa,
change station to 99.2.
See?
Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line
all-wheel drive with Tech Pack
at 3.49% APR
for 72 months with down payment.
That's just $267 bi-weekly.
Cash value of $40,294.
Plus, eligible Ford owners
get a $1,000 bonus.
For details,
visit your local Ford store
or Ford.ca.
In today's economy,
saving money is like
an extreme sport.
Coupon clipping.
Robo code searching.
It takes skill.
Speed.
Sweat.
Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle.
With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet,
a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime.
All starting at just $99 a month.
Stack more, spend less.
The Happy Stack, only at Kudo.
Conditions apply.
Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them.
Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast.
Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario.
Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now.
Dine-in only until 11 a.m. A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now.
Dine-in only until 11am.
Anyway,
I had to have
a root canal,
right?
Which is...
In all fairness,
yeah,
I feel bad now.
No, no,
it's alright.
You said what you
wanted to say.
Don't start backtracking.
So let's have a root canal.
So root canal,
have you had one before?
Wait,
I actually think
this might be the
ASOS channel, right? delivery oh for fuck's sake go
on i've never seen someone buzz so much for a tracksuit
where are we 20 minutes in the lack of professionalism was that was that was that
the asus delivery it's here so now you can relax we can relax and also by the way what a strange situation where the delivery driver has got to take a picture of me so i'm from the
top window looking down in my house and he said take the picture of me with the asus parcel looking
up with his phone like that so you can see me in the background of it i know i want a copy of that
picture what were you chatting to him is that why you were talking to him i thought you were just
having a chat because you're a bit like desperate for social interaction.
No, I get on all my delivery drivers
with me on first name terms.
Okay, it's a weird thing to sort of say
with such pride, but...
I take pride in knowing people's names.
That was Quinn.
What's Quinn like?
Nice guy.
Brilliant delivery driver.
One of the best you could ever...
What makes a good delivery driver
in your opinion?
Very polite.
Has a little bit of a laugh. Gave him a little bit of a laugh gave him a card
at christmas you gave him a card at christmas yeah did have money in it they have money in it
just like hey quinn thanks for all your deliveries can i tell you something let me say something i
couldn't have meant less to quinn if you're not putting a bit of fucking cash in it what's the
point i'm not putting cash in it he's one of the only people who's fucking profited from this fucking lockdown situation he's doing better than i am
anyway i'm getting this i'm getting this root canal right
and uh and it's it's like i've got my mouth like rocks wide like properly like i'm up my head's
almost upside down right this is where he's got to get to. Anyway, so the guy's chatting to me.
He's a nice bloke.
Midway through, right?
Midway through him doing the root canal,
I've got this fucking rod stuck into my jaw.
He just goes, oh, shit.
What?
And I was like, oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is going on, right? right bearing in mind i've chosen this dentist
specifically for my nervous disposition right he goes oh god oh shit man right and then like
sort of moves away from me and i was thinking is it has this guy found something in my skull
that he's never seen before right anyway he doesn't tell me what's going on
he doesn't say anything he's just going oh man oh fuck and so i eventually without being told to i
just sit up to see what the fuck's going on right next to me on the you know they've got the the
table of like instruments and shit like that next to me on that table of instruments is a pigeon right what it is
what the fuck it has got in through the roof tiles i've got no idea right and this guy
is as scared of pigeons as i'm of dentists right so so he's like freaking out at the back of the
room he goes mate you're gonna have to deal with this. I said, I am not dealing with shit, mate. I'm already dealing with everything I'm prepared to deal with in this situation.
Okay?
Also, if you think I'm going to continue with this appointment with these pigeon-stained
instruments, you're absolutely dreaming.
Right?
Oh, my God.
Anyway, it wasn't that geezer's fault, but I never went back to that dentist again, man.
Of course you didn't.
He's the fucking worst dentist.
My guy was actually very, very fucking,
he was very sort of like sensual and fucking decent
and like caring.
Your guy sounds like a fucking idiot.
He's like literally,
he should not be fucking allowed to dentist license.
And I think, I hope you left a scathing review.
No, I didn't actually.
I didn't.
What?
This is what, this is sometimes a thing with you right
what do you mean
is that what you should
what you should have done there
is thought
oh I'm a nervous patient
I'm a terrified patient right
there's going to be other people like me
these people have got pigeons
and fucking probably rats and mice
running around their fucking
dentist facilities
and now you've got other nervous people
who are slipping into the same thing
and you know
that is literally
mate I think you should
even now go
but how long ago was it?
Maybe like four years ago?
No that's probably
too late now.
I don't know when
how long until
How long
I don't know how long
a sort of reporting
a pigeon incident
a dentist
I don't know what
the time lapse
in that is
I don't know when
that expires in terms of I think you could do six to eight months after staying at shitty hotel
or restaurant you can do a review but i mean what you've been through is actually i mean have you
been back to a dentist i have yeah since yeah did you go to a normal one no i went to i found another
another one for anxious people how many nervous dentists are there's loads there's loads really
yeah what do they do do they give you like a foot rub or a head massage well you know like you know some
dentists you go to and they're quite um they're quite blunt with you about what's got to be done
and you know like they don't they don't sort of consider it like these dentists they're
that the way they deliver information is a lot more they'll say to you they'll sort of schedule the treatments
based on what you think you can
handle in one go or whatever you know there's all these
little things that they do you know
as I'm saying this you asked me the
question as I'm saying it
I can see the sort of contempt building up
in your face
I can just imagine you
sort of like going obviously today we're not going to go too far with anything, Romesh.
We're not going to go any further than you want us to go.
Sorry, it's a dentist for nervous patients, it's not ASMR.
I've just got a picture of like a nurse holding your hand.
You're like a kid who's pissed his pants at fucking first break.
Just trying to fucking maraud around,
trying to find you a pair of tracksuits
that we'll still have for the rest of the day.
You just turn around and go,
you know what, it'll be nice if while I'm having this done,
someone would just brush my hair.
We've got a kid in there, he's pissed his pants.
He's just waiting for his mum to pick him up.
Just before you go in and talk to him,
just to let you know, he fucking reeks of garlic.
The kid in there just smells of garlic and piss.
Garlic in your eye.
Absolutely terrified of everything. now listen bro um i want to know there's something we haven't talked we're supposed to talk about
this on the last episode but as usual we sort of got digressed we We got diverted. What is this wrestling thing that's going on with you?
Mate.
You and Freddie, right?
It's the coolest thing.
So me and Freddie were tweeting the other week.
I'll be the judge of that, mate.
Go on.
Yeah, I think if you don't think this is amazingly cool,
then yeah, there's something wrong with you.
You need your head examined.
Me and Freddie were tweeting during the NXT WWE wrestling
the other day.
And then it sort of broke into a bit of a stall
because we offered out the sort of tag team champions of the UK.
And then Shawn Michaels from the Rockers.
So hold on.
So Freddie was watching the wrestling late one night or something, right?
Yeah.
And then tagged you in a tweet saying these guys are pussies.
And I jumped on that.
I was like, yeah, I was watching it as well.
And then it was quite a sort of,
we got a little bit of grief from the wrestling fraternity,
but then WWE and NXT got in touch and were like,
look, you'd potentially be up for doing something.
And then Shawn Michaels from the Rockers offered us out on Twitter,
which was incredible.
I was like, wow, this is, I mean, his end,
I mean, wrestlers are cool, right?
At the end of his thing, he just said...
I'm leaving that statement unchallenged.
But yeah, go on.
Wrestlers are cool.
Carry on.
Well, you better leave it unchallenged
because otherwise I'll be putting you in a suplex.
You've never sounded cooler.
Anyway, go on.
Shawn Michaels goes,
after you've done that
you can come out here
and then we'll see
how the rubber
meets the road
I was like
wow
what a fucking
cool thing to say
was that like
a PR thing
are you actually
going to wrestle
we're going to do it
you know me Romesh
you've known me
for a long time
if I do anything
I do it
a thousand percent
and more
you know
I will go into this
can I just say
one of my
biggest bugbears
and and it comes from watching cheryl cole on x factor when people say
you're giving it 110 or whatever a thousand percent it's so annoying you give a hundred
i'm the opposite i actually think cheryl cole is one of the most amazing human beings. No, hold on.
I wasn't slagging off Cheryl Cole.
This is what I'm talking about.
You're making it look like I'm having a go at Cheryl Cole.
I'm having a go at that specific thing.
Okay?
You know what Cheryl Cole taught me is 100% is not enough.
I mean...
And you can quote that.
You can quote that.
100% is not enough.
Okay.
Actually, if you know what?
If I was to be able
to say anything
to Cheryl
Tweedy
or just Cheryl
I think she calls herself now
I would say to Cheryl
listen mate
call your book
100% is not enough
call your autobiography that
so
I don't
I don't actually
I don't actually think
that's a great thing
to tell people
100% is not enough
I just sort of think this
do you not think
we're in this kind of thing of like hustle and grind and all this shit 100% is not enough i i just sort of think this do you not think we're in this kind of thing
of like hustle and grind and all this 100 is not enough i just it's fucking whatever you can give
is enough isn't it why do we have to like 100 is the absolute fucking maximum and then and then
somebody in in what is supposed to be motivation says by the way 100 but just so you know the
absolute maximum that you can give which is 100 mathematically that way 100 but just so you know the absolute maximum that you can
give which is 100 mathematically that's not enough just so you know but in that case this we go back
to something i said i think in episode one or two is like why go over 100 with numbers
okay okay tom tom tom listen can i say it's so far away from that what we're talking about is
absolutely not what you're talking about.
Right?
What I'm saying to you
is right.
If there was a time
in the world
where 100 was a maximum
of everything,
like the lofty heights
of when like,
I don't know if it was
cavemen or what,
where they were doing
the writing on the wall
and they got to 100
and they were like,
fucking hell,
we thought 30 was crazy,
but this is mad.
And like,
they've named it all right.
And then they should all right and then
they should have and then at that point in life 100 was enough that was enough numbers are not
numbers are not percent do you understand yeah but everything's percent this is what you don't get
like everything in a way is percent right you have to give the percentage of the right look
i would never be as stupid to turn
to you and say give a million percent because that's fucking crazy but thousand percent is
what you should be doing in the way that we live in what the fuck are you talking about a thousand
percent is just as crazy as a million percent mate it's inflation ramesh that's what i'm probably
trying to say like the percentages of life have like grown look look look first of all when
counting was first done,
and I don't know who first counted,
was the first person to come up with 100, right?
Life was simple.
If you had one loaf of bread between 30 of you,
you were cracking on, you were doing all right.
You didn't have houses and ASOS orders
and loads of different stuff coming in.
This thing is inflation.
So the actual idea that the percentage
that you live your life and how you push yourself
has to be more than it was... You've just said 12 things that have no connection with each other at all
and you've just put it into a sentence and and made it sound like an argument but it isn't if
your son came up to you tomorrow one of your boys and he just went you know what i'm really proud
of myself yes yesterday i gave i played football and i gave it you know 250 percent yeah what are you talking about it's like I listened
to the podcast I thought Tom made a lot of sense first of all before we get emails in you can get
more than 100 I'm aware of that okay but I'm talking about giving 100 of yourself to something
yeah well I just think that I think that if someone said to me if right if me and you were
like playing tennis together right it was me and and you playing a game of doubles tennis and we're playing a couple of other guys.
I imagine what we'd do is you'd play the first couple of games with me.
And then you'd get on your Insta stories, try and get all hungry for somebody sort of involved in the world of sports
that you can sort of network your way up the tennis world.
And then eventually I'd get a phone call from you going,
oh, I'm fucking having a little knockabout
of Andy Murray
I can't make up
with you anymore
no but no
it's me and you
versus two other
like jocks right
right
and you turn to me
and I'm like
bloody old woman
it's just like
fucking run the back line
mate run the back line
yeah
and then you turn
and I'm like
I'm giving it 100%
I'm giving it 100%
I want
I need more from you
than 100% yeah and you'd be asking me to do
something that i cannot do and nobody can do so it's an insane thing to say it is it's actually
what you are saying to me is you are not good enough that's what you're saying yeah all right
fair enough what i probably say to you mate well well you know what it feels to me that you're
giving me 63 percent far okay now that okay listen, we might disagree whether that's the case,
but now we're actually having a conversation.
You could say to me, I don't think you're giving 100%.
You might believe that's 100%, but you ain't giving it.
I'm telling you, you've got more in you.
So what I meant was when we get into the wrestling, right,
I will give it 1, thousand percent but in your percentage ways
because maybe my percentage
is bigger than yours
no but
Tom Tom Tom
for your
limit
no
limitation wise
maybe my thousand percent
is the same as your hundred percent
so that
actually makes you better
so you should be proud of yourself
no because
no I can't be proud
of something that makes
absolutely no fucking sense
at all
I think
for me like on something like this, it is just the way...
I think...
Yeah, I don't want to do this because I know how you feel about it.
But I do think let's just go out to the listeners and see what they think.
Okay, fine.
Guys, can you email in and tell me what you think of this percentage argument?
And I'm sure what will happen is we'll get a thousand emails saying Tom's absolutely correct.
And then I'll have to come back on here next week and I'll see you fucking hard on in hand waiting for the result of that vote.
Just going at it a thousand percent.
So when I get into the wrestling world, I will give it everything.
Let's just say I'll give it everything I've got.
Which is 100%.
So, yeah.
I mean, look, I'm not going to go down that road.
I wish I hadn't sounded so passionate about it
because it just makes me sound like such a fucking nerd, doesn't it?
You know, you sound more upset about that
than the pigeon that landed you in your face in the dentist.
That was four years ago.
I've had time to sort of process it.
Four years time, you'll turn around and go, actually, I've had time to sort of process it. Four years time you'll
turn around and go
actually I've maybe
overreacted to the
thousand percent.
I mean the idea that
you think we'll still
be talking in four
years time staggers
me.
So I will give the
rest of the thing
everything I've got
and I will get in the
ring.
All right.
And I'll just yeah
and me and Freddie
together we're talking
about potentially tag
team but I'll probably
also do some single
matches as well.
Yeah sure.
Well good luck with that, man.
Well, you know what I was thinking,
whether you wanted to be,
you know, like The Undertaker had Paul Bearer with him,
like a manager character.
You could be like, sort of like my manager.
Why do you look so disappointed?
I'm just sort of thinking it's like,
do you know when I when i was a kid
uh every now and again i'd be going out my little brother would want to come out and play with me
and my mates and then i say you can like um how about you carry the the cricket bat and he'd be
like yeah thank you know like the basically it's the task that you give the the guy that you don't
really want to be there no That's what I feel like
you're doing.
You could just be
in the corner and rev me up and go,
you can get him.
Destroy him. Give 100%
whatever you shout. And then every
now and again, I'd throw them into the ropes
and you'd pull their leg or something.
Yeah, okay.
I think that you could have sold it better to me.
Like, for example, you cannot ever seem to do my voice
without putting that kind of nasally twang on it,
even when you're inviting me to do something with you.
No, I just think you'd be cute if you're there
and you're in the corner.
You could even do that, say that with the spicy mackerel.
Remember Mankind
used to have that sock
they used to put
in people's face.
Yeah.
Okay, so what I don't think
that I'm going to be doing
is being a South Asian
origin
wrestling manager
whose special move
is putting
curried mackerel
in people's faces.
special moves is putting curried mackerel in people's faces.
I just think it's a funny story that you've got there,
and it could be just a sort of like,
or you could just tickle people.
I can hold them down and you just tickle them. That doesn't feel very 2021, to be honest with you.
We can think about it.
I'm spitballinging but if you text me
some ideas
of like special moves
and stuff
or costumes
you might want to wear
sure
I'll send you some
I'll send you like a mood board
a bit later on
or something
Pinterest thing
right
do you want some emails
yes boy
okay
so
we've got emails
on various little bits
of stuff
that we were talking about
from last week so first of all we've got emails on various little bits of stuff that we were talking about from last week.
So first of all, we've got an email from Liz May.
Hi, Liz.
And Liz says her email is titled
Little Mermaid, Stalker, I Romantic.
So this is you and I were talking about,
we were talking about you getting in touch with people
and you in particular getting in touch with this guy from Married at First Sight.
And then we started arguing.
Not arguing.
We had a discussion as friends about Little Mermaid.
This is her take on it.
It's a 50-50 for me.
I agree with Tom that it was a good analogy, the Little Mermaid.
Thank you, Liz.
But the reason I agree is that Ariel is a a total stalker so in that way i agree
with ron wow also it goes totally pear-shaped for uh pretty early on so if anything it should be
serving as a cautionary tale for tom don't meet your celebrity idol or crush because he'll leave
you for a sea witch wow um it then says and i think this might be the most exciting part of the email for you
cheers
from New Zealand
oh wow
wow
that's amazing
I thought you'd like that
our first correspondence
from New Zealand
I believe so yeah
that's exciting isn't it
how do you feel about that
I mean it's been a while
since I've felt anything really
but
it's nice
also because you sort of broke the top off this is actually the highlight of my week I mean, it's been a while since I felt anything, really. But it's nice.
Also, because you sort of broke the top off,
this is actually the highlight of my week.
The thing that made me so frigging happy is, I think, on Monday,
Romesh texted me a picture.
And it was a picture of a scene from Married at First Sight Australia.
And I was like, my G has cracked open the can that is the greatest show on planet Earth
at the moment. Now,
I am very, very early on on this show.
So I'll tell you where I've got
to. And
I have got to the first
episode where they start following
on Honeymoon.
That's not too bad.
They're long episodes.
Oh mate, it's insane. yeah. Oh, well, yeah, that's not too bad. I mean, they're long episodes. You're an hour and a half film. Oh, mate, it's insane.
Because, you know,
when you said to me,
oh, like, try and catch up,
I was like, yeah,
I didn't realise
that these were 90-minute eps.
I mean, it's pretty phenomenal.
It's insane.
And you know what?
You're enthralled
through the whole thing, right?
Oh, mate, it's...
No, you think
that's a fucking movie.
Yeah.
Every week is a movie,
or every day is a movie.
So much to come.
This week, there was an episode which was almost like
The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones.
Really?
Mate, I was like, no one is safe.
No one.
I was like genuinely on the edge of my seat.
I was like, frigging heck.
Can I just talk a little bit about,
bearing in mind I don't know how he goes on to develop,
but I just want to talk about dino
uh for a minute if i may now okay dino is uh of indian origin i believe yeah yeah he's a he's a
meditation facilitator i think his job is yeah yeah i was talking about this with Lacey yesterday. I find Dino, and listen, you might know that Dino develops into something.
I find Dino sort of arsehole, clenchingly cringeworthy, right?
In sort of his kind of his whole vibe.
And every time he speaks, I've got to be honest with you,
I find it almost unbearable.
I feel harsh saying this, right?
Every season that I've watched of this,
and I've watched all of them, I'm just showing off a bit.
How does this compare to the other seasons?
If I'm going to be honest, at first I was like,
well, I'm not sure.
This week has just blown me away.
To the point where every day I'm like,
fucking hell, man, roll on seven.
And I'm watching it in real time. I'm watching it with adverts and shit because i can't
even wait for that stuff to fucking crack in sure and do you know what i do is i now i video the um
i video the junior bake off just so i have a little bit something chilled after where it's
a little bit of decency and good humanity with harry hill's amazing on that and i just find that after because it's this week
is ramped up man there is and i feel a bit for dino and mel i mean you're going to catch up
hopefully and but dino and mel are they're they're they're a couple i find a bit like if you're at
dinner party with them you'd be like oh fucking hell uh can i ask you a couple of questions about
it so for so for people that don't know at First Sight is this thing where these people
who for whatever reason
want some help with finding a life
partner so they
submit themselves to this process
and these
experts
all of whom I find intensely
fucking annoying by the way
what I love them I think they're amazing
are you being serious i think i really enjoy them i love john i think he's so spiritual
i mean that's probably where i'm coming that's actually that's on me because these people are
trying to help people find love the fact that i would criticize them and say i find them really
annoying probably says something about my dark heart more than any of any of them so anyway that these people submit themselves to this process right and um they get paired up
and then and then for is it a 10-week experiment right 10 weeks okay so here are my questions
uh or my question my main question is can you bail at any point and from this 10 weeks so you
can't bow unless you both both you and your wife both turn around
or you and your husband both turn around
and say leave at the commitment ceremony.
Okay.
So every week there's a commitment ceremony.
Right.
And you basically are asked if you want to stay or go.
And you both had to say go.
So if one of you, sorry.
So if one of you says go and the other one doesn't.
Yeah.
Then you're what, trapped?
Yeah.
Mate, wait.
Wait till that happens.
It will blow your mind.
Okay.
And then you'll actually see the experts
and see how incredible they are.
So have you seen much of Matthew on there?
No, I've not seen that.
Now, Matthew, listen,
if you're about to watch Married at First Sight,
we're about to talk about this quite openly,
and so I don't want you to ruin it for you.
Matthew is 19, is that right?
No, no, he's 29.
No, he's 29.
Matthew is 29, and his big secret is, or his big reveal,
is that he's a virgin, right?
Yeah.
He's a good-looking guy as well.
He's got a sick body.
Now, I don't know why,
but I was totally thrown by the way you just said that.
What?
Like, he's a really good-looking guy.
He's got a sick body.
Were you doing that deliberately?
No, no, no.
He has got an incredible body.
Wait till you see him, I think, in episode four or five.
He's got his top off.
Okay.
I mean, there's a...
I have to tell people when i laugh like this by the way that is because of romesh's expression
it's not me laughing at myself it's i look at romesh's face and it
it's just the sheer horror of what i've just said just um so anyway so anyway look i don't know
anything else about him right right? I've only
seen him in the first thing and I'm about
to watch the episode where he has his wedding.
What I will tell you... It's very sweet. By the way,
let me just clarify something.
I really like Matthew. Right. And actually
I don't know how you felt.
I found it really uneasy, you know, when I had
the lads night and
they sort of throw him under the bus a bit. Yeah, but do you know
what? I think that's
what blokes do mate you know like you and i both know because basically what happens is in the
beginning the night before this is the first time they've done this right yeah so the night before
all the women are in a having like a hen do together they've only just met for the first time
and all the blokes do it as well blokes in a group that is the most savage disgusting
horrendous
insensitive
situation
you can ever
find yourself in
and so this poor guy
everybody's talking about
what are you going to do
on the first night
I'm going to absolutely
fucking smash it
I'm going to fucking
absolutely go for it
and then this guy's
just been very quiet
and I can't remember
the bit where they
sense blood
which I really felt for him
is when he didn't drink
as soon as he walked in there and he was like oh yeah would you want a beer and he said I'll just have a water The bit where they sensed blood, which I really felt for him, is when he didn't drink. Yeah.
As soon as he walked in there and he was like,
oh, yeah, what do you want a beer?
And he said, I'll just have a water.
And then they just all were like,
what are you, drink, mate?
And he was the last to come.
I mean, I think January production-wise,
they were pretty shitty.
I mean, no, not shitty.
They knew exactly what they were doing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
They were sending Nemo into a shark's bed.
They want the te-Total virgin
to turn up last.
100% that's what.
You know who was
the most relieved?
Dino, when that happened.
Yeah.
See Dino's face.
Dino was like,
oh, mate,
I'm going to get
fucking annoyed
over here.
Nothing can save me.
Hi, my name's Matthew.
I don't drink
and I'm a virgin.
Oh, hey, man.
Come here.
Hey, come in here,
you pathetic little V-plate.
So anyway, hey, man. Come here, son. Hey, come in here, you pathetic little V-plate. So anyway, listen, what I would say is that
if you're not watching Married at First Light Australia,
get involved.
Can I just say to you as well?
Yeah, go on.
From what I know, mate, from what I'm thinking,
I think you haven't seen Bronson and Innes, have you?
No.
Yeah, you've got all the best couples to come
and you haven't seen Sam and Elizabeth.
So all the best couples come in and you've got the honeymoon. Yeah, you've got all the best couples to come and you haven't seen Sam and Elizabeth. So all the best couples coming
and you've got the honeymoon episode
and then you've got a mate.
Like, that's where, mate,
that's where it cranks up
and you're like, fucking hell.
Well, look, I love it so far.
So I...
Mate, it gets better and better.
All right.
Okay, our next email.
Hi, guys.
This is from Zach. uh hi guys uh big fan of the podcast
can i just say something quickly go on if i could change my name to anything it'll probably be zach
i like the name zach i thought it's jeremiah yeah i love jeremiah but it's just listening
to where you said zach i'd fucking love it every time i I see you, like, yo, Zach. I wouldn't say yo.
I don't say yo,
Tom,
do I?
So what suddenly,
because your name is Zach,
I'm saying yo.
I just think it'd be like,
can you imagine in a place where like people would be like,
oh my God,
what were you,
what did you do last night,
Rob?
And you're like,
oh,
fucking me and big Zach.
I don't know if we'd be friends if you were called Zach.
We would definitely be friends.
Rob and Zach.
Rob and Zach. we'd be friends if you were called zach we would definitely be for rob and zach rob and zach
by the way that's not that's nothing against zach i think zach's a great name and actually
i love that one of the things uh one of the things uh as a teacher that makes it quite
difficult when you're trying to think of names for your kids is is knowing kids with those names that
sort of know human beings with bad names and so and actually i've got to say most of the zacks i
came up against uh in my teaching with great kids so i'm a big fan of zach i just don't think you've
got a zach vibe about you really i think i could smash the zach you people would be like oh fucking
big zach's fucking cool as fuck man i wonder I wonder if actually, now that you've said that, it's quite an interesting point.
I wonder if your name was Zach, you would be a different person personality-wise.
I think you are, man.
I've got a friend called Kieran Hawks.
Kieran Hawks is like the coolest fucking guy I've ever met.
How could he not be?
He's like Kieran Hawks.
Yeah.
I do think because also, imagine if your parents called you Zach,
that means your parents, because they called you Tom, right?
There's nothing wrong with Tom.
But what I mean is Tom is orthodox.
That's an orthodox naming strategy, right?
Whereas Zach, that suggests that they're thinking like a bit more outside the box,
which might mean that the way they bring you up is a little bit more outside.
You know, you could be a completely different dude, right?
That basically just means that when your parents are looking at you and you're literally in the
your your utmost infancy yeah they look at you and go i don't think he's got it in him to handle
a name like zach no my sister's called beth not even elizabeth that's a cool name beth is like at
that time you know it's like your kid you got a kid called theo that's a fucking epic name to call
a kid that you know that is a
fucking cool name theo yeah he's fucking he'll fear i bet theo's fucking theo doesn't give two
shits about anything he can walk for he can literally walk between the raindrops yeah i
wish he did give more of a shit about stuff sometimes particularly you gave him theo
particularly earning the respect of his father i wish he cared about that a bit
yeah but then what is like your name is Romesh, right?
It's like, Romesh
is so you. I just couldn't imagine you
literally, you'd tell
people now, I can't imagine
Thomas, his name being Zach,
or
even Theo, I think I'd be pretty
confident. You wish
you could bring
yourself to be well known. Thierry? I'd love the name'd love the name i would love the name tieri
yeah but the thing is the problem is is that tieri davis is quite good tieri ranganathan
tieri ranganathan's a sit by the way your surname is fucking i remember when i first
heard your surname i was like can't wait to meet this guy but he's gonna be so fucking cool
but your name has made
the coolest sounding
fucking,
Ranganation is a fucking
the coolest sounding show
in England.
I had to change my name
to another average name
to make a show,
King Gary.
King's that.
Now King's that.
When I made up a name
for myself,
right,
I even had so little opinion
of what I could carry off
as an actor.
Yeah.
I called my character Gary.
No offense to Gary,
it's because I've got a lot of good friends called Gary.
Yeah.
But that's,
I think,
and I think I'm batting a little,
that's me reaching my maximum.
Sleep.
Sleep in Murder Unsuccessful was called Des.
Des Sleep.
Yeah.
If the show is called King Zach,
that's a very different show,
isn't it?
Some guy that's got magic powers or some shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, Zach's email says, love the episode this week, that's a very different show isn't it some guy's got magic powers or some shit yeah yeah yeah
anyway zach's email says love the episode this week especially the bits about the cinema as i
used to work at one oh cool tom is so right about the popcorn and cheese sauce it was so popular
when i worked there getting a cheeky pot of cheese sauce to dip their popcorn in was a popular choice
now oh wow i didn't know you could do that. Wow. Yeah. Now, let me just say something, Zach,
because I know what you sort of said is Tom is so right.
Having some popcorn and asking for some cheese sauce is one thing, right?
And obviously you can get cheese popcorn, and that's a nice thing.
What I'm saying is Tom's story about getting nacho and cheese.
And if you remember how he described it, he put that into his mouth.
He chewed it up a little bit.
He said it was like a washing machine.
And then he would throw some popcorn in there to give himself a vibrant taste explosion or whatever.
That's what my issue is with, right?
I've got no, I don't, I'm not contesting the fact that cheese sauce might be nice with popcorn.
I've got no, I don't, I'm not contesting the fact that cheese sauce might be nice with popcorn.
I'm talking about a man sort of using his mouth like some sort of culinary cement mixer.
That's what I sort of took issue with.
I think you're just jealous.
That's what I think it is.
Why am I jealous of what?
Because you can't get that sweet, sweet cheese sauce.
So it's like something you'll never be able to have.
Just sort of like you're looking yonder and just thinking,
oh, like you see my mouth just chewing and sort of my eyes just lusting.
And you're like, oh, well, I wish I could just have that taste explosion.
So it sort of made you sort of like, you're a bit like the dragon in Shrek.
How am I like the dragon in Shrek? How am I like the dragon in Shrek?
Well, you just put yourself in a castle on your own and sort of burnt everything around you
because you can't have the cheese sauce.
It's such a...
What the fuck are you talking about? oh god uh anyway he goes that goes on
okay go on zach uh fun fact one of the most common things we used to find in screens were Zach goes on. Okay. Go on, Zach.
Fun fact.
One of the most common things we used to find in screens
were people's toenails.
People would literally cut or tear them off
and leave them in the cup holders.
Toenails?
Yeah.
Toenails?
So you want to take your shoes and socks off?
Yeah.
Or you're wearing Birkenstocks.
Fucking hell, I've got more issues with someone who's wearing Birkenstocks.
If you're somebody who's picking their fucking toenails,
I can't stand Birkenstocks.
I know you've got a pair.
No, I'll tell you why I've got a pair.
Because I fucking agreed to appear in King Gary.
That's why I've got a pair, mate.
You kept them.
You stole those from Sam.
No, I don't.
Fuck off.
I'll have to ask costume if they're
still there
let me see
something people
Tom put me
in King Gary
which I'm absolutely
delighted by by the way
I think King Gary
as you know Tom
I'm honoured to be
part of it
to turn up
on the first day
of my filming
and to then
emerge from the trailer in the outfit
they've chosen for me to see
Tom and his fucking
gang of cronies waiting outside
because they're so excited
about seeing what I'm going to look like in these clothes.
They're at the first sight.
Me and the lighting
boys. Got the gaffers. Big Jimmy.
Hey, let's get them out there
in those fucking Birkenstocks.
And then he finishes off by saying,
people do crazy stuff in the cinema.
Quite a few times,
adults would literally take a crap in the urinals.
What?
It was mental.
See, I've never been to a cinema like that.
Where's Zach from, does he say?
No, he doesn't.
He just says...
That's why I miss letters.
That's why I miss letters.
What do you mean?
Well, a letter you put your fucking address and shit on it
so you know where the person...
Huh?
Yeah, but you have an idea of the person.
At the moment, Zach's cool and I like that Zach is a decent guy.
I just want to know where there's a cinema
where people are shitting in urinals. It's disgusting. Yeah. Well, he said it's cool and I like that Zach is a decent guy but I just want to know where there's a cinema where people are shitting in urinals.
It's disgusting.
He said it's only happened a few times.
He certainly wouldn't judge the town
or him
based on the fact that some fucking
lunatics have shat in a urinal.
Do you think it's just one person or someone's turned around and said
I'll just shit in a urinal, it's fucking cool.
I don't know what's more disturbing. If it's a common thing that loads of people do if it's one
person that keeps doing it repeatedly i mean yeah it's both pretty sad
look tom it's um it's about that time um i don't know how you're gonna do this but
well it's time for you to talk about today we talked about oh yeah i know yeah i know okay tom can you uh can you take us home please there's many twinkling stars that sit upon the sky
some of them shine brighter and you don't really know why you can look upstairs and look yonder
and hope for the best but there's not really stars that shine as big as the star
that is inside you that you have to ignite every time you make that step from your bed
and enter a new day. That's the moment you need to look at that star and say,
how much percent am I giving this? How much fire am I giving this?
Can I give it more?
Can I be better?
Can I reach the stars that shine so bright in yonder?
I'm telling you now, you've got this.
You're amazing.
Go do it.
As Michael Jordan once said, just do it.
That's really good.
Oh shit, I've got to tell you,
have you seen the fucking...
Man, I can't even remember the guy's name.
A guy has mixed
all of these that we've done,
summing up with me and you talking, and he's put it
into a beat, like a streets beat.
Oh really? Is it good?
It's incredible. It sounds good. well bearing in mind i don't ever feature in this section no no you are one of them just go what are you talking about right and on that
it'll bring it to a close thank you so much tom i love you man i'll see you next time
see you next time my brother
if you have a problem
opinion
feedback
or anything at all
please email us at
wolfalpod
at gmail.com
that's
wolfalpod
at gmail.com
we'd love to hear from you,
mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.