Wolf and Owl - Horny dreams, zombie apocalypses and school parties

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

What do Tom’s dreams mean? How would we fare in a zombie apocalypse? Is Rom becoming a soft touch? And what scary film did Tom audition for? We discuss all of this, plus reminisce about how cool we weren’t in school - enjoy! Don’t forget to send in your questions to [e-mail] for the chance to have them answered in an upcoming episode.  A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media.  00:00 Intro 00:51 Rom’s hair (again) 01:55 Sleep gate and Tom’s master 07:21 Nancy singing 08:07 A level of horny 10:15 Zombie apocalypse 13:44 Accents16:01 - Clubbing 19:02 Romeesh and Rahmesh 20:28 Ashamed 21:33 Charlie’s day out, Lego and Gail’s 23:18 Rom’s parenting 26:02 School parties 32:45 The old memory road Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, things to stay the same for gangsters. Welcome to the Wolf for now. We're up in this bitch. Yo, what a up? In a sprinter. God, that was awful. Hey, listen, like, subscribe. We're on YouTube now.

The War for now. The podcast. The podcast. Podcast. Podcast. Podcast. Podcast. Podcast.

Podcast. Podcast. Podcast. You're listening gear around this, mate. Yeah Yeah, what do you want Beak or jaws Feathers or fur

Sharp teeth or feet with claws Whatever's prefer Just kidding Every word in his songs About two grown men Dressed up as a bird And a dog How are you?

Very well, mate Good Good to see you It's, you know what I'm still not like this haircut Yeah, the haircut The haircuts It's a moot point now

Mute point right Is it moot or mood? It depends what you're trying to say It's like It's like irrelevant Because you this isn't you now. You're an actor

living through this character. Now I'm not. Now I'm doing the fucking Wolf in our podcast. Yeah, I know, but you're still... Because of a contractual obligation. Yeah, but... It's a horrible thing to call our friendship. No, but I think

once a play's done, I think I speak for everyone. Once this plays done, I can't wait to see the new Rommish. I was contemplating, shaving everything off. Anyway, we've talked about this. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, tell me, on the last, Last episode, we didn't really talk about you enough, I don't think.

But then on the one before that, it was a big, a lot of Tom. Okay, let's have a bit more Tom now. Okay. How are you? I'm good. You've got nothing, have you? I've got stuff, don't worry about me. I've always got stuff in the vault.

I've always got stuff over here. Okay, well, when you say vault, that starts to make me nervous. I don't need to pull some story at your ass from whenever. No, I'm a very recent story. Okay, go on. Sleep gate. So, as you know, I've had some trouble sleeping recently. Mm.

Me too. and I picked up some melatonin. Congrats. Have you had melatonin before? Yeah. Have I had melatonin just a bit? I love you doing the look down the camera now. Anyway, got on.

So melatonin. Yeah, so I've been having this melatonin. I think I, but I've been like the weirdest dreams. Like what? Well, I had a dream the other night that I was a chamber made in like an awardian house. But like I had all my features, like my sort of beard and stuff. stuff, but my body was that of a sort of like probably 28 year old woman in the, oh my God, this sounds a hell of a dream.

So you got that face. Yeah. But a body of a 20 hour of, I can't even say it. I'm just thinking about you. Quite a buxan woman. Right. Quite a, yeah. I would imagine if you're a woman, you'd be bucks up.

Yeah. Makes sense. And a lot of junk in the trunk, I'd imagine as well. And then my master took a bit of a liking to me. So I'm having this dream and... God! That won't be the funniest thing you've ever said. Thank you.

Fucking hell. Okay, so your master... So at first it's sort of like... Who was your master? He's like... I didn't actually get his name. I can't remember it in a dream. What did he look like?

He's handsome. A bit like Lord Lucan. Sort of like Lord Lucan sort of like probably his second. He's got quite a sense of him as Lord Lucas. But anyhow, I'm so sorry. I was going about my chores and my Jews. I bet you're bent over a lot, weren't you? Well, this is, yeah.

I wasn't the master. That's not the punch lights of this. No, no, no, no, of course, no. So I was obviously, you know, bringing out food and bits for the family. Yeah. Was it quite vivid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

They had like three kids wife His wife And then my master And I was like Cleaning out Cleaning the room down the dining room Yeah

One night And then he sort of comes behind me And kisses me on the nape of my neck And sort of Start sort of whispering sweet nothings into my ear Right Do you remember any of the sweet nothings? Well it's like

It's like I can't control myself around you And also I'm a big sort of Although I'm a man I'm a bit grotty. I've got sort of like... You've got made levels of hygiene. And then he's been a bit sort of hands around, you know, gropy. A bit grope.

Yeah. Gropy. So in the dream, could you fill the hands on your boobs? Yeah. What do you think is happening in reality? Do you think you're filling your own boobs? No, no, no, no. I don't think so.

I'm quite a sort of, you know, I sleep on my side. Okay, fine. Anyway, I quite like him as well. I quite like him as well. Obviously, he's powerful, and he's a rich, powerful man. So then we started having quite a lot. like a sort of like you know sort of you're about to say rompy pompe yeah wasn't and i sort of remember that so then we start having an affair how graphic was the sex uh i mean not graphic

graphic it was sort of you know like sort of soft core right soft core sort of level you know a lot of kissing a lot of sort of suggestive stuff and then um and then i and then i but then his wife found out right and then what happened well i was thrown out into the street as a slut on a whore I don't understand how This is really Like you've got a full narrative arc in this dream Mate the dreams I'm having This is just one of many

But this is one that This is all my favourite one Yeah This is the one that's I can't imagine there's one better than this one Well at the moment no But it's like being involved in a movie Especially probably one of the best parts I've ever had

Then I'm yeah I'm thrown out And it's sort of to be fair You know when like a dream ends And you still got that heartbreak in you Not because I've just looked like Yeah I had that where I woke up once

And I thought I was going out with Brandy from Moisha. Oh, wow. I mean, Brandy the singer, but she was in Moesha. Yeah, it was a Moesha that was going out with. And then I woke up, I was really gutted. Were you with Lisa at this time? I don't want to talk about it.

You know, I felt the same about, yeah. Yeah. The Earl that I was with. Yeah. Sort of, I woke up. It's such a weird thing, that feeling of sort of like, because I felt ashamed and sort of dirty and disgusting. I got it.

I was sort of like, yeah. Because you're doing something wrong, but that made it feel a bit better, I imagine. Yeah, but also. When we were together, it felt right. Oh, absolutely. It so often does. But then I just remember the last bit of dream where I'm just walking around the street,

the old streets of London. So it carried on? Because to me, this story's over now. You've been thrown out? No, no, no. The last bit is I get thrown out. And then the last thing I remember. But the dreams can go on without you remember in details.

I'm remembering, yeah, this dream's probably lasted. It lasted a good amount of time. Yeah. The last bit I remember is I'm just sobbing, walking around sort of a bit of where you're Charlie, a bit like Nancy. Oliver. Oliver, yeah. That's actually, it's quite

a Nancy-like sort of woman. Who will buy my sweet red roses two blooms for a tenor. Oh, it's a penny. It's Dickensian. Two blooms for a fucking tenor. You'd be fucked off about that now. Who will buy my sweet red roses?

Is that a little girl who sings there? Yeah. There's it go. fly strawberry that's actually one of the best you remember it quite well yeah I love that musical

Knives There's a nice one how does the knife one go I can't Who will buy my nice shop knives Two blades for Four thousand pounds I keep thinking about it Did it make you horny

There was a level of horny to me Yeah But then it's not a level of horny that you could easily kind of... Yeah, but... You've created an itch that's not easily scratched. I'm going to tell you... Yeah, of course.

Because you need the body of a 28th of a woman. Yeah. And not in the way that... And also, if I was a 28, well, I've never been a 28. I'd, you know... It's unlikely. I'll be a 47-year-old woman now. Yeah.

And, but I... Every now and again, I'll just drift away and think of his hands on me and then kissing me. It's such a weird feeling. Did it feel good? Like, to be taken up in someone's arms? Yeah, because in the dream, he was so... strong and yeah and I believe the things he said yeah what did he say oh just like you're such a

special girl you're such a special girl and did you do you remember if you talked in the dream about um I taught like I talk now in the dream oh god oh completely flummoxed and betwixt by all this but yeah you can give it to me well we go down to the scholar you and I'll give you a little bit more Dido. Well, deters would be excellent. Obviously, you want to know the logistics of... Shush, now. How are you...

Blanche. Like where? Blanche. Shush. Where would you like... I mean, do you want backhand a four-hand or... Hush, big blanche? What are we...

What are we talking here? I could use this rolling pin as a peg. No, master doesn't need to hear you all at the voice. I found it, like, quite... Arousing, yeah. I'm finding it quite arousing hearing about the story. It's quite... Yeah.

Are there any other ones that spring to mind? No, that's the one that really, really sort of, yeah. That's the one that I really... Did you tell Catherine? No. No. I don't think you should have said it on this podcast, really. Yeah, but she doesn't listen to the podcast.

Okay. Why did you not tell her? I think I woke up in the morning and it felt... To be fair, I sometimes go on about my dream. I like a discussion about dreams. And I just think, yeah, it's a bit, yeah. Maybe as well, I felt a little bit, like, naughty. Yeah, it's weird.

Yeah. Or unusual, I'd say. Yeah, but I think that's a melatonin rather than. What are dreams? Are dreams your fantasies? I don't think dreams are your fantasies because I had one where I was stave in a zombie's head in with a spade. Yeah, but that is a fantasy. It's not a fantasy.

I left a Nicorette patch on overnight. Can I ask, how do you think you'd feral a zombie apocalypse? I would kill myself as soon as I saw them out of window, yeah. I am somebody that I just thought, like, my opinion is I'm clinging. on to life pretty lightly. You know, like... I think zombies, by the way, the most overrated threat

in the world. Then, they're... Not only they're not overrated. They're not rated. No, but... There's no such fucking thing. If all the things that people worry about,

I'm not worried about zombies. Are you under the impression that's a mic drop moment? No, I just think that. You don't worry on a day-to-day basis about zombies? No. I literally think you've got more to worry about

becoming a 20-year-old woman and getting fucked by your master. Didn't you have about zombies? I'm just saying that there's a lot of pressure put on zombies. There isn't. When people watch zombies stuff. This is part of the thing with politics shows as well, I think, or stuff like this, where people, you know, like, people present arguments as fact.

There's not a lot of pressure on zombies. Mate, I'm just saying that there's a lot of programs with people got fucking on, mate, if there's a zombie apocalypse, what would you do? Are you doing it 28 days later? I'm talking about, in general. Yeah. 28 days later, I've got a bit of a sticky point with. Why?

I audition for it. Didn't get it. That's what? The Hantley Johnson part. Big part, baby. Yeah, I'm not going to say what I think about the eventual casting. My jolly accent was so bad. Try it now.

Wee, we better get running from these zombies, Lake. Wee, me. Better get running from these. Wee. We here, no. We better get running from these zombies before it's too late. That's not you trying your hardest. No, it's not.

Okay, go on, try your hardest. Okay. We're here. We better here. No, you're, stop. What, by the way. Okay. First, I can't do a Jordy accent.

Yeah. Stop starting with we're here. All right. Right. We biscuit running from these zombies like. I have to worry because every time I do these accents, it slips into a place that could be quite. In what? What do you mean?

Well, I worry that it's insulting. Right. I see. I see. Yeah. I could be insulting many different people if they heard me do that without any. I think, you know, rightly or wrongly, you attempting a Georgie accent is for Go on.

That's more Scottish, isn't it? Right. Right. We best get running from these zombies like. Yeah. I sort of at the end of it. The worst thing is I can't, I can't sort of figure out what you're trying to do. Can I just say that I would have actually respected the person, the casting director, more, if they'd actually finish the thing and gone.

Okay. Uh, uh, it was such a fucking yeah it was not my finest moment it was a killer it's a fucking hard accent to do the joie accent can you do it? A little bit late a little bit leek

oh my gosh it's my favourite accent as well I love the jollies you're really good at accents I'm not I was having a discussion with your brother the other day yeah your brother yeah no but there's certain accent

I think to be really good accents, you have to be able to have a good attempt at every accent. And there are some that I'll never get. Yeah, but a lot of times we do like a character, we do like a character of them. When you hear like people do a really, like Idris doing string a bell, was incredible.

It was like felt so just normal. Yeah, yeah. And rhythmic. Yeah, so that was a great way. I can't we do American either. You can. I've heard you do American. No, but not like,

I couldn't be in a film as an American. I think, you know what? If you had enough practice, you'd be amazing. You reckon? I think you'd be amazing in American. Like a sort of like, you could be like the cheeky teacher. Yeah. That's sort of like, yeah, some of the girls are being naughty.

Girls, girls, you stop that now. Oh my God. For whatever you say, here comes Mr. Ranganathan. Why would I be called that? Because the guy who's written apart has written it for you. Okay, fine. All right. So you're one of the girls.

I'm one of the girls. Elsie Mae. Okay. Now Elsie Mae, you know that I don't like that. basket those wandering hands away from me, Mr. Oh, whoa. Mr. Reagan, May. Elsie Mae.

You know I didn't touch you. Elsie, Elsie May says what she believes. I don't understand. You pitched the part to me as a cheeky teacher, and I'm a fucking nuns. And the right is good for you. So, so Ramesh, I got this power for you. It's written with your name. Okay.

And he's a paedophile. He's a teacher. He's a math teacher who's a head of year who's a paedophile. Okay. Well, that was my exact job at school, except for the paedophile bit. Oh, just to be clear, being a paedophile. And I wasn't head of year the whole time. Being a paedophile isn't a job.

It's a life choice. No, I know that. I know that. I don't think it's a choice. It's like growing a moustache. Yeah. This year, I'm going to grow a moustache and be a pedophile. That's my two resolutions

What have you been up to My dear friend? Um I went clubbing recently What Where Friction, do you know friction? Yes, I don't know who he is

I don't know the guy He's a good mate of mine Yeah He was very cool guy Very cool guy Very cool guy He got a cool vibe to him He has got a cool vibe

Arsenal fan Of course You're You're select now The people close to you Have become very Arsenal-fied No, that's not true. I mean, that is true.

I mean, I would say I've got a higher proportion of friends at sport of Arsenal than anyone else. That is true. There's a lot of Arsenal fans now, in general, I think. Yeah, they're all coming out of the woodwork, right? And then they'll disappear back when we bought that. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was doing the play. Yep.

And then Friction said to me, I'm playing it out and that. Right. Do you know out of that, that new venue? No, no, no, no. It's amazing. What, okay. It's amazing venue. Anyway, said I'm playing it out of net.

From 12.30 till 2.30. Wow. Two hours of sweet, street, street, dancing. Now, I'm due up at 7 a.m. For the radio show. Oh, my gosh. So this is on the Friday night. Right.

Not drinking, obviously. Staying in London. Staying in London. So it's not like I've got to trick it all the way back and come back in. Yeah. Go to out on that. On your jacks? What do you mean?

On your own? Oh, no, no. Sheridan came with me. Oh, nice. We go along there. Meet Friction. Meet his Mrs. Mrs. Friction.

Yeah. That's not her name. Yeah, she goes by Mrs Friction. Really? Of course not. Okay, I was going to say. Fucking hell. No, for a guy.

It's not the Incredibles. No, just saying for a guy, friction feels like a cool name, but if her name was Mrs. Friction, it just... It isn't, though. I know, but, yeah. I feel like we're insulting her. No, I'm not insulting her, because I love friction, but you said Mrs. Friction, yeah.

I was just doing a bit. Okay, yeah, cool. No, I take things literally sometimes. Yeah, no, I need it do. So we go there I thought I'm going to stay for an hour Anyway end up at the stern to 2.30 in the morning Wow

233 o'clock maybe I go back to a hotel at 3 Yeah And then I'm so panicked By the way oh this is not the point in the story The point of story is this But this is not a funny story I'm just telling you I danced the whole time bro

Wow Sober dancing in a club Yeah Two hours I didn't think I had it in my locker Like proper dance dancing No sweating Sweating

I respect that. Yeah. I think you can call it dancing. I wasn't like going like that. What is the dancing that sort of people are doing? There's a lot of guns. No, what?

The rope come over here. Is that what you just did? Yeah. No. Okay. What sort of stuff? Show me just roughly. There's a lot of gun fingers.

Oh, you were doing that? Yeah. Well, that. When in a heart's the leaf. No. No. I like it. Yeah.

That one as well. A little bit of that, yeah. Yeah. And then there's a bit of that. Anyone jump on your back? No. Okay. Somebody kept telling me I looked a lot like Ramesh.

Can I say bug bear at mine? Go on. Ramesh. Yeah, a lot of people think it's Ramesh. I fucking hate it. A lot of people think it's Ramesh. Do you know I really like, mate? Your pal, Ramesh.

Ramesh. Okay. You've not done that once. No, I do so. It's Rommish. Do you really correct them? Yes, because how much could you like someone if you put an A in their name? No, that's fair enough.

Ramesh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyhow. Ramesh would be better than wrong. I was just very pleased that I... That's...

I'm fucking impressed with that. Get back to the hotel. I know what's happening here. What will happen? I know that I've got to go up at 7. It's a worst. What do you think happens? Well, because then you're in freak out mode.

Yeah. You weren't back going into a sleep. It's too deep. You won't wake up and hear your arm. All correct. Then footage will come out of you leaving a nightclub. Yeah. Still dancing probably.

Correct. Get into the back of an Uber. Yeah, correct. Oh, I walked actually. Did you? Yeah. Can I respect that? Walking.

Some like that. Panicking about going to sleep. I end up getting about an hour and a half. Saturdays are a long day for you. Bro, radio show, play, play. Yeah. Long ting. Yeah.

You know? Long... So you're dealing with a 14, 16-hour day there? Longting. 16-hour day? Yeah. Oh, man. And then do you, can you sleep between the two plates?

Yeah. Did you? No. Oh, mate. But I was so tired. Somebody text in to the radio show and they said, I told an embarrassing story and said, they're shamed from London. That's how they signed it off, from ashamed in London. Right.

And I was so tired, I read it as Ashamed. Okay. So I've gone, and that's from Ashamed in London. producer Katie starts cracking up obviously then I start laughing and then all these texts start coming in anyway they've clipped it now

oh wow this is pure result of my lack of sleep self-inflicted who reads that saying it's Ashamed well probably would anyway I sort of made me tired thinking about it Saturday night though I slept the sleep of a

thousand sleep have you caught up now I feel sorry for a Lisa and the kids so you just got in and slept What time did you sleep to on the Sunday? I got to put 9 because I'd take Charlie to Oliver. Oh, nice. About an A for Charlie boy.

Yeah. We're not there. Okay, this is another thing I want to talk about. I'm getting fucking mugged off, by the way. Well, by Charlie. We go to Oliver. Yeah. Now, he's only been doing it a little bit,

but it's the first time I'm taking him on his own with him, right? You know what I mean? Yeah. He wants a Gregs. I get him a Gregs. I love this kid. we go to get to London Bridge and we've got a change

to get a Charing Cross right he says can I get a snack from not for now but for later on in the day to put in his bag we go to Marks and Spencer's shut they're moving at London Bridge so he says but there's a Gales next door I end up buying him a Gales right this kid

okay then we get to Chang Cross yeah we're early so let's have a lot hang out for a bit we got a Lego World yeah everyone in there go to Eminem World because I like this hoodie I buy him the do. Wow. He's playing you.

Mate. Lego was the only place I didn't buy something for him in, right? Probably the only place as well. You'd have got something. We get to the... You like Lego, right? Yeah, I don't like that I just say that we brought Grace quite a bit of Lego for. Yeah. There's something so relaxing about making. Yeah.

I've been quite, like, taking the micko, I felt very hypocritical. You should do? Because you've been quite piss-taking. When I was going through my Lego face with kids. I sat with great. And in the end, she was just off doing something else. And I was just sitting, something I'm making some Lego thinking, I might get this. I do think there's a real possibility that Catherine's bringing Lego in the house to keep you occupied. Yeah, yeah. Praise down my anxiety.

I hyperfocus. So what else you get him? So that was it. And then I even I offered to get him a bubble tea before we actually got to the theatre because there's like a little place. Yeah, I'm a nice bubble tea. Anyway, it's a running joke that I'm a soft touch. Can I just say by the way? Yeah.

I just think that's good daddy. Is it? Yeah. I think we put so much emphasis. I'm getting a bit mugged off there, aren't I? Can I just, can I just say, in the time you were buying those and you're hanging out and he was eating his Greggs and the whole gale thing came along after that that little sort of side track happened?

Yeah. When you're walking around Lego Land or the M&M thing. Any point did you feel, oh, listen, I feel like I'm getting mugged off? No, because Charlie doesn't ask like that. No, no, but can I just say, I think you got what you, that was a nice, that was a nice morning. I think that when you have those things in life now where sometimes you look back at it and go oh God I shouldn't have done this

and you beat yourself up about oh you know are you spoiled and a kid or have you have they played you a bit a lot of that's the fact is you've probably felt it felt a nice thing for a nice thing to buy them those things it's a nice time with your boy no you're right thanks bro don't be so hard on yourself thanks man that's so sweet dad you're a sweet boy that's really sweet of your lake

god that was even better than the first it's really sweet of your leak That's not a real attempt It's really sweet of your leak It's really sweet of your leak Do it one more time It's really sweet here leak Okay there you go, you got it

So hold it So do you wait for him then to finish the show I dropped him Lisa Picked him up God Lisa That's a tough end The fuzzy end of the lollipot for Lisa I had other things on

So she goes and picks him up Why are you saying that she's got The fuzzy end of the lollipop Well you get a lovely morning Which is nice Well they went to Dave's Hot Chicken Afterwards Oh okay

you know, that's a nice time I mean Charlie's had a fucking hell of a day by the way, he's killing it You've got three boys who are all Fucking excelling I don't know if they What is excelling? No but not excelling

But they're all, do you know what I love about Your pairing? All three of them following their own passions Yeah, that's true That's very, very positive Yeah You know, yeah You think about me and you at that age

What were you like? I was getting beating up somewhere Which was one of your passions Yeah Well it had to be on your passions when it happened so much to you. I was probably getting chased around, yeah, beating up. I don't think, I mean, I'm exaggerating.

I don't think I've got beaten up, but I, yeah, I don't know. I sometimes think of how thirsty I was at school. Yeah, your boys don't suffer with that, did I? I feel embarrassed at how, like, just... I feel like that about, I feel like that about adult life sometimes. That you're quite thirsty? You know what?

It's one of the things I'm really trying to cut back on. You're not really thirsty? I've a thirst about me. What, with strangers? with new people? Yeah, I can't, yeah, I think it's less now, it's less apparent now. I think I've really started to rain it in.

Yeah. Because I've realised just how sort of ugly it was. Disgusting it is, yeah. Yeah. But as a kid, I was so thirsty. Did you ever not get invited to, like, school parties and stuff? No. Of course I did.

I remember a girl in her class having a big party at her house, and she was in my class. She sat like a desk away from me. And she was telling everyone about this party. And I sort of tried to be cool. And I was like, there's this party. Like, you know, when is it? And she was like Saturday night.

How old are you? Probably about 14. Okay. And I was like, oh, yeah, loads of people are going, right? And she went, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah, be cool to go along. And she said, if you can find it, you can come. And I spent that Saturday night with my friend,

Oh no This is like It's like a really shit Super bad this, isn't it? Just looking for this party Just walking around Like we didn't quite know the area She lived in

When was the party And when did she tell you that? That was like on the Maybe the Wednesday or Thursday And the party was on a Saturday What I would say is That is an invitation of sorts Yeah, of course

Yeah Like she's actually Yeah Even the tone in which she said It sounded quite kind of Because I think this girl thought I was a, Yeah I thought

She was saying it Because we were mates I think she thought like, oh, if I've not given him an invitation, which other kids had had had, or told him where it is. They'd had an invitation with an address. I think, yeah, she had given her address out. Yeah, yeah. And then I tried to get the invitation and the address off another kid.

Yeah. Who was like, I know, I've been told we're not allowed to sell people. Oh, no. So she's done that. Okay, that's a bit different. So then I was going to say, just ask somebody, where's this woman. So then we found, not woman, it was a girl. I knew vaguely for, for the school.

I knew, I knew vaguely from where she got off to school bus. Yeah. Where she lived. So we started walking around the streets And we were out And Had got an invite? No

Had he been told I told him to come with me So by the way This story We're sort of giving you sympathy Let's fucking Pour out a little liquor for a Who not only

Has not got an invitation He's a fucking He has decided to hitch his wagon To so he's sadder than the guy who hasn't me given the fucking address. Imagine being that guy. He was a sidekick in other people's lives, this guy.

So my mum was like, what are you up to tonight? And I said, oh, we're going to a party. Yeah. Your mum asked you then. Yeah, my mum, dad, like, you know, we're going out. So let me drop you. And my mom was so excited that I was being invited to sort of a party. Oh, no.

So we got off the bus and we started walking around the streets looking for this party, knocking on the occasional door and being told to fuck off. And we never found the party. We just walked around the streets for hours until sort of like I said like, you know, it started raining. I was like, this is just pointless. And then I went home and my mum had waited up for me. And she was like, how's the big party?

And I didn't have the heart to tell her that. I said, oh, it was so good. it was so really it was great it's really fun um she was like oh we're so and so there

I was like oh yeah I think so yeah yeah and yeah and then it was just that horrible thing of sort of uh yeah

and then but then you had to go back to school on Monday yeah what was that like well you I remember saying like um

I was a gang of couldn't find a bloody party um because she sat at a couple of desk I said how was a party And she said, I was really good, and everyone was there. And I was like, oh, yeah, cool. Yeah, no, we couldn't find it in the end.

We looked for ages. Oh, my God. Did you say that? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Why the fuck did you say that? Because I thought she'd find it funny. And then go, oh, you know.

Yeah, she would find it funny at your expense. But I thought if she, was she, you want my minute to do? I'm 14. I'm not going to go. Oh, yeah, cool. I just chilled in at my house. Yeah. No, that was like, I was like, yeah, we'd bloody look for it.

I couldn't find a bloody thing. Oh, no. And then. Oh, God. God. And you know the weird thing? It's like years later, I bumped into her. And she remembered it.

She remembered that detail. When you bumped into her, were you this, Tom Davis? Well, yeah. I mean, it was, we were probably... When I say that, what I mean is, like, how do you put on this? You know, people don't realize, or some people that don't really know you, don't know this. But obviously, this is, a lot of this is persona and stuff you've added on, isn't it? It's not the real year.

Yeah, years of bullying has meant that I added on some armor. No, no. Yeah, it was, so we were probably about, yeah, late 20s. Right. And then she was like, oh my God, I still sometimes laugh about you looking for my party. I thought it was so funny. I was like, yeah, no, it was really funny. It was quite sad.

I don't know why you couldn't have. And do you know what? I always taught she, I used to chat to her quite a lot. It sort of felt quite, yeah. Did you have anything? Did I have anything like that? No, if I had anything like that, I would have killed myself. Yeah, but also.

I look at that sort of and think it's quite a funny story. I don't look at it going, oh, fuck. It's embarrassing. It's cringe-worthy. I've kind of made a living out of doing those things. Yeah. Whereas if you went to the party, I bet it wasn't even that good of party anyway.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I still think about having a big sort of party now and just sort of, like a reunion party. So are you still in touch of her now? No, not in touch. I've sort of bumped into her around the way. But I know, I wouldn't say that we're in touch. She's, you know, by the way,

I think a very funny person. I don't hope there's no malice death on my part yeah you know I actually to be fair

that night in the rain got learned a lot about you know life yeah sometimes you're you know sometimes actually

the search for something if I got to the party what would have happened if I'd found it in my head the ever the thought are we're going to get

to this party it's going to be amazing we have such a fun time there it'll be incredible we'll be allowed into this fucking the top tier of friendship

in the fucking school, that would have happened. Best case scenario that had told me to fuck off. Worst case scenario, they'd have let me in. And there'd have been some sort of awful ritual. So it's sort of, yeah, in the end, so the bigger boys would have duffed us up in the garden or something. Yeah. I know you think of it as a funny story,

but if you're trying to make that point, don't then add even sadder details. Right, it's about that time, Tommy B. Yeah. Tommy B. Yeah. Can I tell you what happened there? I wanted to say it's about that time B

you know like in a hip-hop style And then I added Tommy And then I just fucked it Yeah Tommy D Yeah I know Yeah Hmm Memories huh

Nothing hurts more than you Oh memory road And straw down here Hey there's a hill here Should we try and climb it It's just a bad memory friend But you know what We climbed up it once and came down again

maybe we can do that again truth about looking back is sometimes you see things you don't necessarily want to see but looking forward you have no idea what's going on so reflection becomes easier to do than whatever looking forward would be some people say if I could change this about my past I would

maybe the idea of being a chamber made in the Edwardian time Grote off across the bench or the little boy and I'll add it into the party. Were any of those real, what are they dreams? Well, the truth and matter is memories and dreams just slip into the same thing. Something that might have happened once or something you may be dreamed. Truth is, even the saddest memories can be something you jocular. So if you're going through a hard time right now, a tough time,

remember, at some point, shit will get easier. Stuff will get better. And you might just look back and go. Remember that time. Pulled that one out at the end. Thank you so much. That was fucking hell. It's one of the darkest moments you've ever had on the podcast.

That story going into that closer. Wolfoutborderjibor.com if you want to send us anything in. Please like and subscribe. Wherever you get your podcast. We will see you on Friday, Friday for our email app. Email special. Peace out. Go fuck yourselves.