Wolf and Owl - Hot Chip Aftermath, WhatsApp Groups and Holding Grudges

Episode Date: June 4, 2026

Is it OK to wave at strangers in the street? Should you confront people about secret WhatsApp groups? Should we have done the hot chip challenge before recording another episode? Probably not. Will Tom survive this episode? You’re about to find out… Send your questions, dilemmas and voice notes to [e-mail] and don’t forget to like and subscribe friends! A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters: 00:00 Intro01:33 Waving05:11 WhatsApp groups10:44 Overthinking interactions16:20 Holding grudges Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah Yeah, what you want Beak or jaws Feathers or fur Sharp teeth or feet with claws Whatever's prefer Just kidding Every word in his songs

About two grown men Dressed up as a bird And a dog Welcome to the Wolf and Al Email special Full Disclosure We're recording this straight after A Hot Chip Challenge

The main episode Where we did a hot chip challenge Although we didn't do the full Hot Chip Challenge We ate probably what I would say a nibble of it A quarter between us pieces here.

By the way, my respect for you is, fucking, you were incredible. I was incredible, actually. That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen you do. It's a low bar. But, are you all right? No, I literally, mate. It's like, you know, like a bird. Yeah.

As soon as it, a bird eats, it needs a shit. Do you really feel like you need, like, do you feel like you could shit right now? Yeah. Like a fucking fiery big shit. I'm in bits. I'm loathe to make two episodes in a row where that becomes a main part of content. but I'm literally in absolute pieces. Such acid reflux.

I can't stop. I sort of feel like I'm just going to sit there for the whole of it. Okay, should this mean? A weekend at Bernice. Oh, it's not nice when it moves into your stomach, is it? No. My tongue, my esophagus, everything's, it's ruffled everything in my body. It's, and you've not even had any milk.

I'm trying to delay it as long as possible. Okay. Should we do some emails? Hello, Wolf and Al. I'm the confident Capibaro. For the past few months, I've developed a terrible habit of waving at people I don't recognize

just in case I do know them. I feel like I'm going to be going into these almost drunk. This is actually the closest I felt to being drunk in quite a while. It started as a polite half wave, but now it's a full-arm commitment. Last week I waved at a stranger in a car, then panicked and waved again to make it look intentional. My question is,

how do I stop this before I'm known as a local maniac or do I fully commit and start public-facing role like mayor. How do you pronounce that word? Mayor. Mayor. Yeah, I say mayor. What, really?

That's my natural. I deliberately changed it then. But normally I say mayor. Fucking hell. It's starting to kick in now. Really? It's good that it's taking two episodes. I've literally been doing it.

Okay, I mean, firstly, I'm going to say now, I actually think what you're doing is a beautiful thing. And I think actually, if I saw someone wave at me, I've actually, by the way, I always, when I see someone waving, you know, when I, like, someone waves, And you think they're waving at you. Oh, gosh. Is it kicking in now? Yeah.

There we go. How comes it's taken so long? I don't know. Like a sleeper cell? Um, this is really a fucking bad idea to come straight in and done this. But I will wave back. I love the thought of that we're living in a world where you wave strangers and that people...

Oh, God. And that people... And just a bit more friendly. It's burning inside me. It's so fucking molten, right? It's insane. I'm just, all I can think is, yeah, anyway. I think you should keep on waving.

I think you should keep on waving. And I think it's a beautiful thing. I think what you're doing is really delicious and decent. And I think the more we as society come together and be nice, and I do think committing to it and actually maybe if you feel this way inclined being a mayor or a mayor and someone front facing

could actually be the one thing that we're lacking like someone in politics who's really good at I do not anticipate this good I think I've got another email in me before everything explodes I genuinely feel like the death star and like Luke Skywalker has just flown into that little hole Oh God

Ron, a device please It's fucking churning in my stomach Yeah, I know Mine's stuck here Here It just feels like acid inside Yeah, it does It feels like you've drunk acid

Like battery acid Okay Can we just ask something I just want and I hate to do this But how many people have died having these Why do you think you're going to die? I just feel awful Go on go

I go. What do you think of waver? I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I think it's fine to wave at people. And I think you just own it and make it your thing. And, you know, waving's fine. And also, like, a lot of the time, if they don't, if they don't recognize you,

a lot of the time, my inclination, she's only waved at me and I didn't know them. I would just either wave back or just go, shit, I don't remember where that person, where I know that person. I would never assume that that person's in the wrong. Yeah. I would always assume that I'm in.

the wrong. So I don't think there's any negative. It's beautiful. I think what you're doing is incredible and you should be... God! Dear Wolf and out, I am the suspicious sloth. I'm in several WhatsApp groups with friends, family and work. I need the milk. Every family, convince every single one has a second secret group without me. The evidence is thin, but compelling, delayed replies, inside jokes I don't understand.

And people are saying, we've already discussed this when we definitely haven't been there. My question is how do I make peace of the idea that's a second group? Or should I start with my own? Should I start my own without them? Sorry, this is a lot of this is down to the hot chip and this is actually quite a fucking honest. This was insane. It's like a jackass stunt.

Giving people fucking advice about their lives. We're both potentially fucking exploding. Look, I'm going to be quite honest. And I'm going to cut to the point here. because for once I've got no fucking flowers in me. If you think this is happening, there's very little you can do about it. Certainly don't start your own group without them. Let me finish, please.

I don't know if I've got much more left in me. I'm dying. My point is this. There's very little you can do in a sense of controlling what people are doing behind your back. And there's someone who spends a lot of my life worrying about this. things it's very hypocritical of me to say don't worry about it because it's a constant thing I worry about like most people I think we all worry about what other people are saying what other people are doing behind our backs the truth is this

you've got to try and make an inner piece with it set up another group and you know where you talk about other people or you're being you know mean or you know whatever about other people will not make you feel any better because that's not who you are as a person if that is that there doing that let that be on them let them be they let them be the sort of people who are mean and you know disingenuous enough to have a group that is just being horrible about you and i would arguably say um one of one things that you know that i've learned in time is one of the best releases i've ever had is actually going like i had a lot of friends that i was friends with coming into

my early 40s that i was like these people are quite toxic and they're not making me feel any better about myself and actually make you detracting from me feeling like a better version of me or a happy version of me and someone that came down to bullying of other people or being mean about other people and I thought actually that's not who I want to be so I stepped away from like those

people and since doing that I feel a better a better version of myself and I don't feel like I'd necessarily have that that side of me in my life so I would say yeah like my thoughts will be you. But keep doing what you're doing

and be you and let them be the toxic ones. Sorry if this has been a bit muffled. I'd love to have heard the length of the answer if you had a hot chip. That was about 45 minutes. I would say you've got two choices. Are you okay?

Do you want to take a break while I'm doing my bit? No, I feel like I should be here and write it out. You got two choices. One ask. I've done I've asked before. I've said is there a second group have you really yeah that's fucking bold

and they said no the course there isn't and then it was a bit embarrassing but then you've asked and then if there is a second group they might think twice about or they just think he fucking thinks of himself

why no you think little of yourself no but if you're like did you how did you say it in what sense did you say it's a one of them I'm saying there might be a second no I said it on the group really I think so maybe I'll message one person

but I said I said I mean, I respect that, but... Anyway, you've got two choices. One is ask the question. Which... What horrible thing as well, by the way? What? Just start up a second group.

We don't know for definite there is a second group. No, no, I'm just saying in general, because that is a thing, right? Yeah, definitely. That people start up a group about something. Yeah, well, there's like three Wolf and Nile groups. Only one. Yeah. And the other thing you can do, and I think this is like the best way of tackling it,

is to accept that there might be a second group and be fine. with it you know there may well be a second group where they're discussing things if that is their choice and as Tom says if they decide to be like that they decide to be like that you need to find comfort in the discomfort you know people behave how they behave if you spend your life trying to be in control of what everyone's doing and how people treat you it just will lead to frustration so the other question I would ask you is if you're the sort of if you think these are the sort of people that are creating a second group behind your back, are they this sort of people that you want to be given a lot of your time to?

You know, I think, you know, if I had a group, you know, with a group of friends, I'd like to think I'd only associate with people that wouldn't do that to me, you know? And so if you are in a position, what's going on here? I'm actually, I actually started to build up some momentum in some. No, no, you're kidding who what? I'm just literally just thinking where I can get some ice cream from. Is ice cream a good thing for that? Yes. Okay.

Sugar and ice. Okay. And cream. Okay, no, I get you. So, and what? And what I would say is, you know, think about who you're, you know, think about who you're giving your time and energy to. Because if they're the sort of people that you suspect might be doing a second group, they're

probably not for you. Exactly. Very well said. Thank you. Yeah. Hey, y'all's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. How are you now? What's described to me what's going on?

This here is fucking burning. Yeah. I feel like I literally, I'm like, it's feel like I've got Satan having a part inside of my gut. Like he's just fucking dance around his stupid old hooves. Okay. Hello, Wolfram now. I'm the overthinking otter.

Every time I send a message, I reread it at least 12 times. Spot a problem that doesn't exist and then spend the rest of the day convinced I've ruined a relationship. I once edited a message three times just to remove an exclamation mark because it felt too need. my question is should I stop

caring what people think or should I simply stop communicating with other humans altogether? I'm literally, this could be me writing into it. I don't think so. Grammatically it was all correct. I've heard of edited. I mean, I do this all the time.

I do it on a professional and a personal basis. Everyone I interact with, including this wonderful gentleman who's one of the most kind, nourishing human beings. Not today, I know. You've got a prick element today. I was hoping that that would fucking hot chit would trip you up a bit.

It's absolutely backfired and made me more needy and pathetic roles when we started off this fucking podcast. Oh. It's given me the need. I'm in so much pain. My voice has started to go. I know. Yeah. It's absolutely brutalized me.

Oh, my God. But I struggle with this all the time. So and I don't really know an answer to it because I sent three texts today and an email and all of them I'm sort of thinking I shouldn't have sent or I should have said saying different. I should have worded something different. I mean literally we've done episodes and the fact that I probably shouldn't be allowed a phone. But let me say this is that for the most part people read them and do not ever think in any sense that you're being anything but kind or genuine or decent. And most people, to give, you know, something someone said to me is most people scarcely even read it, they just run their eyes over it and just go on, you know, ping something back or whatever.

So I would say, don't stop communicating with other humans. Good advice. You're a good person who clearly worries about what other people think. And that's, we look at that as a bad thing sometimes. But actually, that probably makes you quite a good person to have in other people's lives, that you are constantly trying to be the best version of yourself. So go forth. And, you know, if you do find a way of making that less of a problem or dealing with that, email in because I'm struggling with it myself along with this hot chip, which is now, I think, just getting towards my colon.

Thank you so much for your email overthinking Otter. I would say to you Are you putting it on? No. No, I'm not. I didn't expect it to be internally quite if I'm honest with you. I thought, oh yeah, I have a bit of a burning mouth for a bit

and then in a day's time it all fucking hurt. I didn't expect it to seemingly go rush through my organs and destroy every one of them. I've never had a food that's made my kidneys hurt before. Every bit of me is wincing. I can fear that. it going through my way. The one thing I would say is it's one of the few times I've

experienced where I think I can feel where it is in my body, which is unnerving, I would say. And it just feels like Bernie. It's actually almost a good way of just seeing how your metabolism is well. Yeah, yeah. It's a good idea. Over thinking Otter,

it's totally, first of all, be kind to yourself about this thing with the messages. It's a totally, you know, look, it seems like it's impinging on your lifestyle because you're overthinking and worrying about these messages. But don't be horrible to yourself about it. It's totally understandable.

You know, we all want to be, it's a sign of your caring and you wanting to maintain relationships that you are struggling in this way. I do have some practical advice. I think you should sort of train yourself to be, to think about your messages less. And what I mean by that is, I would make it a challenge when you wake up, or whenever you want to do it. You can do it right now. of sending someone a text

but being carefree about it and just clicking send and not thinking about it and just have a go at doing that with one text message and then the next day you can try to do it with a couple and basically sort of desensitize yourself

to being a bit more carefree about your text messaging I think that's the best way to do it sometimes if something causes you discomfort actually the best thing to do is to sit in the discomfort and accept it and actually get used to it that actually genuinely feels like advice

for what, where's it going through? That's true actually. That's what I'm trying to do is you have to accept your body's on fire. Can I just say all I'm thinking as you're talking is if I gave you my bank card

could you take everyone out from the studio to the pub for a quick afternoon beer and then I can use a toilet piece? Why don't you just go to a toilet down the road? Why do you have to evacuate the whole fucking office? Of the top of the

options? Why is that the one you go for? And also, you're sort of raising the embarrassment factor of that. It's just a nice thing. You go, oh yeah, it's going to whiz down the pub. Yeah. Don't come back to the office for two or three weeks. Dear Wolf and Al, I am the petty pit, petty pigeon. If someone mildly annoys me, I store it away like evidence in a case file

and revisit it years later. I don't confront them, I just quietly remember. In 2018, a friend ate my chips without asking, and I still think about it at least once a month. I'm genuinely feels like loads of things that I do. My question is, is this a personality floor I should work on? Or is this actually just having an excellent memory? Literally, this feels like me right and in and all three circumstances.

Okay, Tom, what's your advice? I mean, I hold onto shit quite a lot. It doesn't sound like you're going to do today. It's very good. I and also I don't really enjoy confrontation so I let things eat away at me slowly I don't like that chip in it

yeah very much like the chip eats away at me this actually this chip is almost like a symbol for my whole personality I uh oh my god I would say Petty Pigeon that um we all just have to try and let things go uh tree

you're going to be fucking hell you saw you're teeing them up come on try and avoid hot chip shitting innuendo okay what is the pettiest thing so I've held on to loads of petty things

um you know going like going to the pub with people who've never brought around uh like even though you've been my heart is racing if I've run a marathon

I feel my body working well should I take over Yeah, I think you're going to have to agree. Yeah, okay. All right. It is a, it's not a personality flaw. It's a personality quirk. And lots of people have this thing. I know lots of people have this sense of righteousness.

And so when they feel that they've been wronged, they cling onto it. Actually, the truth is, if you do any reading about this, it's slightly, I don't want to offend you, because I'm guilty of this and Tom's guilty of it as well. It's actually a sign of ego where you feel like you've got to defend your position and somebody's wronged you and you just hold onto it for a very long time, unlike the way Tom is holding onto himself here. So what I would do is, I would genuinely think on a couple of these instances

and try and recognise the feeling that you're having, that you're having a feeling of resentment and annoyance about it, and just recognise those as feelings, and then let them go. I think that you have to try and practice chilling yourself out about it. Carrying grievances about stuff that's been done to you in the past

is like picking up a load of heavy rocks and then spending the rest of your life carrying them. It's well within your ability to just put them down to let them go like a loose stool. You know? It's those things that they're going to be burning,

burning inside you and working their way through your system. It's like a dragon burping. Zog. Anyway, I hope that helps. I don't think anything we've said today has help. But my advice to you is... By the way, can I say we've done some fucking stupid things on this podcast?

Having a hot chip and then deciding to give actual decent advice where both of us are potentially dying is fucking insane. But it's not good. Thank you so much for sending your emails in. Welfarpot at gmail.com. We might be back next week. We'll see how things go. We are about to get a building in Covent Garden.

evacuated. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye.