Wolf and Owl - Hot Chip Challenge, Bathroom Habits and Amanda Holden

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Can Tom and Romesh survive the Hot Chip challenge? Watch to find out…Plus, what is Tom’s signature dish and why should you never be in the kitchen with Rom? How many times should you go to the bathroom and do we need to get more sleep? Also, why does Tom sniff sweaty shorts? We’re ready to rock! Don’t forget to like and subscribe and get in touch with us at [e-mail] A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters: 00:00 Intro00:43 Supermarket shopping04:24 Home cooking06:16 Tom’s soufflé 12:09 Bathroom habits16:08 Bugsy Malone21:15 Sleeping problems31:35 Young love35:41 Hot chip challenge39:35 Know your limits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to The Wolfen Ow with me, Romish Ranganaithan and you. The Wolf, Tom Davis. I'm here and ready to rock. Please like, subscribe, follow, tell a friend, tell somebody at your local supermarket about this podcast. You know how you do that? You just tap on and go, you could probably notice me laughing in the World Food Art. Why? Because I was listening to the Wolf and Al, my friend.

My name is Jack Stevens. Lord knows there's not Wrigley laughs in the World Food Arl. I'm all right. They take things very serious. Can I say, I think... This doesn't look authentic. Yeah Yeah, what do you want?

Beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer. Just kidding, every word in his song About two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Not enough laughs in supermarkets How'd you mean?

You don't ever see people walk around supermarkets It's just like having more... I think supermarkets be a lot more joyous It's a one part of the week that we're all doing And I think it should be more... What? You don't do the big shop? No.

Are you joking? No. I don't even want to think about my life without a supermarket visit. How often are you going? Once a week. Once a week you get at the supermarket? Once a week, yeah, minimum. How long are you there for?

It depends if it's a big shop on a Sunday. Just average. Just like average it out. I don't need to every visit. Well, probably about 40 minutes, 45 minutes. There's no fucking way you're getting in and out in 45 minutes. 45 minutes you can do a good shop. For the family?

Well, there's three of us. There's what five of you? It's a big difference. And me and Grace, by the way, me, Grace and Catherine are eating nearly all the same stuff. We're not like you that throws a stone in the shoe for Lisa. I don't throw a stone in the shoe. I'm plant-based because of my moral beliefs. Yeah, I know, but it's hard for...

It's not a stone in the shoe. Lisa's like, oh, God, better get some chicken nuggets. Oh, bloody, I've got to get some vegan nuggets for rum. Like, you know, I'm going to get a cider beef. I better get some auvergines. You know, there's a lot more for poor lease to think of. And if you're not going with it... By the way, it's a great time.

just have some chat. Not just you as a couple, but you with other people in the supermarket. She doesn't go on her own. Who does she go with? She doesn't go at all. Oh, you get delivered. Yeah, and there's a reason for that.

Yeah. But by the way, I notice you the way you tilt your head and get all judgmental. No, I don't, no. Yeah, you did. You went, oh, you get it delivered. No, I'm just saying, I think it's a really nice.

I actually think you and Lisa are going together. It's the only time we ever argues when we do the big shot. Really? Yeah, so we decide to stop doing it. We argue a lot, but that's the one time that we really come together. Do you not just get stressed out of them to go around the fucking supermarket?

No, I enjoy it. I find it stressful. I get such a kick when there's like big sales on, things that, bargain prices. Tesco's blow me away sometimes. In what way? Just sometimes the deals you can get at Tesco's.

Don't you not think they're taking the fucking piss? What? Why? Because they just put all the shit everywhere. You've got to go around and pick it up yourself. Now they're not even putting people on the till, so you've got to do that yourself. No, but you're just like, Hey, hey, hey, hey, by the way, I'm not.

Pour it on the floor in the middle of the fucking thing. Can I just say, If you're doing a big shop, if you're going through a big shop and you're going through self-service checkout, you're a fucking idiot. I'm saying that now. I mean, that's a bit. Some people, that's a bit harsh. No, if you've got a basket and a few other bits in your hand and you're whittance for yourself service, cool. If you've got anything in a trolley, that should just be going through.

I don't think you're allowed to go through with a trolley, to self-service. I've seen people do it in Tesco's. Okay. I'm just saying it's one of the best things. Don't deliver that news like you've seen a dragon. No, I'm just saying. It's not that unusual. I like going through the,

because I think for me, you go through the checkout, you have a bit of a banter. Yeah. A bit of a laugh. If it's Easter, you crack a joke, a couple of jokes about bunnies and jock.

Give me an example of a Easter bunny joke. Oh, is this, got some Easter eggs, have you? Yeah, I bet they're jumping off the shelves. Oh, God, you wouldn't say that really,

yeah, of course, I would. Yeah. Oh, you see, you got the little lint bunny. Yeah, yeah. And a bit of linded my pocket the other day with all this change. I'll probably give to charity. How can working at your local Tims take you further?

Sure, you can level up your teamwork skills. You also get a chance to receive a Tim Hortons Scholarship Award. Ready for what's next? Apply today at careers.timhorans.ca. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old.

You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Okay. Actually that bad. I was quite impressed

for your improv skills here. I'm not too bad. I think, yeah. Yeah, but I can't. I do go into supermarket occasionally. When I've got like a couple of bits, but I would never do the big shop there. I'd just like just walking around and sometimes.

Even if I'm not a big shop and go for a few bits, I like to just sort of like look around and get ideas. How often are you cooking at home? Almost never. Okay, see, that's a difference. I love cooking at home. I'm not, I'm sort of, I create too much of a mess. We've talked about this.

Yeah, I know. have. So who cooks more out of you and Kat? Probably, well, she's at home more. But if we're both at home, 50, 50. Should we talk about the resentment there? She's at home more. She resents me slightly for being out of love.

If we're at home 50, 50. Right, okay. Yeah, I'll get a kick out. I love cooking together. I do too, but, you know. But if you're messy and sort of, like, yeah, the problem is, I think I'd be allowed to regularly cook if I trained myself to do it in a more efficient way.

Basically, if I cook in the house, it's an event. Yeah. People have to be warned. Yeah, yeah. You know, I have to knock on the neighbour's houses and go, just so you know, Ron wants to do his lasagna again. There's going to be some swearing, some screaming, probably here's some broken glass.

Just seeing you out on the back porch smoking, just going off. Fuck, sorry. Why do I do this every year? I can't make two cheese, sauceies, one vegan and one not. So, yeah, so I don't often cook. What would you say is your signature dish? I do do a really good lasagna. I like a suflare.

I like a, I like a, I like to cook a souffle. A lovely suflay. What type of suflay? Cheese. Three cheese. Huh? Three cheese. We can do three cheese.

But three cheese is like that, isn't that the go-to posh souffle? It's a posh one, but I think you don't want to get cheese fighting. You're going to get one cheese that's really strong. Completely overcompensates the other. The other cheeses are going, well, I'm going to fucking place. And there's, you know, even finish the race here. If you've got a really strong cheddar, unless you're putting blue cheese

then the cheddar's just completely insignificant. You know, you've got the blue cheese is doing all the fucking legwork. So you just go, I'm just doing a blue cheese. It's tiring. I'm just saying.

It's so tiring to have a conversation like this. What? So what, um, talk me through how you make a souffle. Please. Well, you cook a roux. You cook a nice cheese. Okay, you have to get a bit more basic than that.

Imagine you were presenting a cooking show. Talk me through how you'd do a souffle. Well, I wouldn't do a shit at a souff if I was, in a cooking show. Well, imagine it, okay, but imagine that you'd been tasked with doing a souffle. Okay.

What, my presenting presenting? You might as well, yeah. Yeah. Hi, welcome to Bonkers Kitchen with me, Tom Davis. Glad to be on the show. This week, my sous chef, my assistant.

Sorry, let me just stop you before we carry on. It's not for children. This is an adult's cooking show. Okay. What's what with Bonkers Kitchen? It's not just bonkers kitchen, your whole energy. It was like, I was expected to introduce a puppet.

I would like a puppet. Okay. What you want it more cool? Not cool, but just like for grown-ups. Okay, okay. Hi, me, Tom Davis. And I guess... Split the difference.

Okay. Yo, it's me Tom Davis. Back again on Bonkers Kitchen. The adult show. Not that sexy. No, no. Nobody says it's an adult show. Go on.

Okay. What up, friends. It's me back in the kitchen again for my Today in the kitchen, I'm joined by the legend. One of my favourite musicians, Mr. Kat Stevens. Hello, Kat Stevens. What? What does Kat Stevens sound like?

I don't know. Okay, all right, come on there. He's American, right, Katzsche. Yeah. Well, he's changed his name to Yusuf Islam, hasn't he? Oh, okay, yeah. With one of my favorite singers of all time, is heuzef Islam.

Hello, friend. What I'm saying is I don't think you'd appear on the show. Oh, okay, all right. Someone more realistic. Okay. Hi, welcome back to Bonkers' Kitchen with me, Tom Davis, back in the kitchen again. I'm joined today by one of my favorite actors in the world, Mr. Mickey Rock. Hello, Mickey.

How are you? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, good? So Mickey. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Okay, Mick. Yo. Strikes me, Mickey. We're cooking.

We're cooking. We're cooking. We're cooking. Mickey hungry. Mickey very hungry. Mick, have you been drinking? Huh? Have I told you what I haven't been doing?

I'm fucking eating. Where's the food at? A delicious soup. You little bitch. You little bitch? You little bitch. Where's the food at? What are we making?

Can I try some of this? Give me one of those eggs. Have you washed your hands? I'm just going to crack it into my fucking... So one of my favorite things to make is souffle. That's not how you pronounce it, little bitch. Souflee. Sorry, I'm just going to change that.

Joining me in the kitchen today is one of my favorite actresses of all time, is Amanda Holden. Hi, Amanda. Hi. How are you? You're okay? Really good, thank you. What happened to Mickey?

Oh, he had to go because he was unhygienic. So Amanda, what's your favorite thing to eat in the whole world? I don't know. We eat lots of different things. We go out a lot to eat. Do you? Yes. I tell you what I do love, a traditional kind of beef Wellington.

Oh, okay. Would you like us to make you a beef Wellington? I mean, if that's what you're going to make, then I'd absolutely love that. Okay, well. Me and Jamie, love it. Who's Jamie? Who's Jamie?

I present with on magic, I think. Where's your husband called? Chris. Yeah, I think it's Christine. Christian, maybe. And also, me and Alan, when we're renovating, because obviously... Well, actually is a brilliant show.

I have been watching that recently. It's a fantastic show. Tell us about the show. Well, I was sort of... By the way, while you're doing that, I need to get this dish underway, Amanda. So I'm going to start by sooting some onions. What are you making?

Meath Wellington. Okay, great. So I'm just going to soot some onions. I don't think we have to wait for this, for them to actually soften. Now, so Amanda, you used to be in, uh, are you, can I just check to me? Are you sauteing them on a keyboard? I'm putting in the beef. Oh, okay.

Into what? Into the frying pan. Oh, okay. So you used to be in cutting it, which was on BBC a while ago. Yes. Tell us about, do you like hair? Do I like hair?

That's a funny question. It's a funny question. But it was about hairdressers. It's a funny question. Then we're going to put in a bit of garlic, a little bit of oregano, a little bit of oregano, a little bit of rosemary. Really get the hurt.

Do you just put them all in at the same time? Yeah, just to get the herb. Because the beef is still raw, it looks. Well, it gets succulent and it gets into the, and here's a little trick for you, man. He probably doesn't know about this. A little glygo, flour just to keep it all nice and nice.

Yeah, that's quite good. I think that's commonly known. First time I've heard flour added by the glug. And now we're going to put in some stock, really get the beef nice and juicy. A glug of stock would work. Yeah, we're going to have a really lovely beef. So Amanda, tell me more. About what?

Well, where are she been up to? Then we're going to get some short crust pastry. We get the short crust paste. and basically a bit like a pasty we put the beef inside the short baked crust pastry and we put it in the oven and then let's go and sit down

and have a tray it's. Okay. So yeah, so that's kind of what, yeah. Yeah, I mean,

I've never eaten a beef, Wellington, but even I know that there's something in between the pastry and the beef, isn't the only space makes that sort of mushroom patto?

Yeah. What the fuck up into that? I saw got thrown off because I was trying to chat to the hand cook. It was a bit like that. What you did was a bit like a Saturday kitchen actually. Yeah, I don't think I'll be very good at present.

How are you anyway? Good, good, good. Yeah, I feel good. I feel well. I've got this weird thing at the moment about, have you, on line at the moment, there's this whole thing about Kimeo West,

talking about one of the reasons he's about with Kim Kardashian is because she was shitting all the time. She was going to the toilet a lot more than he thought was sort of respectable, I guess. And it throws me the question of, I do worry sometimes, I'm going to the toilet a lot more than I love going to the bathroom like taking a crap to one of my favourite hobbies

and I worry that that could be the sort of straw that bakes of camels back in my relationship there's a hell of a monologue So how many times are you going a day? At home if I'm at home for the day, three, maybe four Okay, four There's two poos and there's other times where it's just a lot of gas How many times do you go today? I would say three

three? Yeah. Two to three. Yeah. Very rarely one. Who goes for one shit a day? I don't know. I mean, lots of people do.

I think that's normal. Is it really? Well, not normal, but that's the median. This is what I'm fascinated by. Might be the mode. Gone. No, I don't know anyone who goes once a day. Well, I mean, I don't want to get into details.

I do know people that go once a day. I just think it's such an incredible thing to go once a day. Yeah, let's look this up. What's the average time that people go for a shit? Typically three times a day to three times a week. Three times a week. Three times a week. That is insane, isn't it?

That must fucking break the pan. Do you know, the worst thing I have at the moment is when I go and I think I'm going to really drop something valuable. Tom. What? And then I, because my... Okay, can I just say this? Because we've talked about shit a lot on this podcast. I don't think people mind us talking about it.

It's the graphic nature. Okay. Well, my big worry at the moment is the Elvis thing. I think I've talked about it something. That you're going to die? Yeah. Because he didn't go enough. And he was going to sit on the toilet a lot.

And then that's how he passed. Well, look, I would, can I, I, I've talked about this before, but I thoroughly recommend a squatty potty. I'm really now looking at getting one of these. You've got to. But in what sense are they, are they like genuinely? Are you like, they work on everything? Like, this is the best way to describe it, right? So, imagine this is your colon.

Yeah. And when you sit down on a toilet normally. Yeah. Your colon has to sort of like make its way around a bend, like a kink. Yeah. The poo has to make it around the kink. And then when you're sitting a squatty potty, because of the way you're positioned, it unkinks it.

So it's just like, whoop, like a water slide. You feel emptier. It's quicker. Is there a bit of embarrassment, even though there's nobody there that your knees are up like that around your ears? A little bit. And then just fold it away and put it away. And you walk out, feel in light. The only, the main negative is that then if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to evacuate,

and you don't have a squatty potty. Yeah. It feels like a step-out. For example, would you take it on tour with you? I don't know. People would see it then, wouldn't they? I don't know if it was in your case of your bag. Yeah, but grass is like going, oh, what have you got there?

And I'll explain squat. I mean, I've talked about it on a podcast. I suppose it doesn't matter. Yeah. To carry it around is a big deal. It folds away, so maybe I put it in the bottom on my suitcase. Or you could have it like, you know, like sort of like with a strap around it and just carry it around. You're sort of back like that, just in case you go to services.

I don't think I'd use it in the services First of all If ever you encounter me Shitting in the services There has been a serious fucking emergency Really? Yeah I reckon genuinely

10 years since I've taken a shit in a service station What that's insane numbers I can't do it I'm a heme shyser What can I tell you? Yeah I know we've talked about this a lot But I'm and I've managed to like Deheimshise myself

So I'm schising in other places is but I'm not a service station. What about your dressing room at the play? No. I've actually got something on a, can I propose a business deal? What is it? I think me and you should, have you ever seen Bugs and Malone? Yeah, with the kids.

Yeah, but we should bring like an adult version to the stage. Of Bugsy Malone? Yeah. You're Bugs and Moulogne. We put people we know into it and we do like a special. Aren't business ideas supposed to be potentially profitable? Man, it's massively profitable. Like think of it, like, I think by the way, you should do that. do one where you're singing next because I can't sing. I mean, that's the book. You can sing.

We both, okay, like, I got a dream to live. I got a dream to live. I got a dream to live. Don't cry for me, Argentina. You're not going to buy a Vita. The truth is I never left you. Through all the hard times. You can sing. That was beautiful. You can't. You can't, not for a fucking musical I can't. It's barely By the way, they don't sing-sing. They just make their voices sound more jollible. Could it be that I'm doing a podcast with my friend Tom, the wolf

for now. Nervous. We've got no content. We've just moved to video. Video, video, video. He was running round the alley. Exposing himself. What? Yeah, I don't think it's a good idea.

I think it could be a fascinating idea. Like, mate, and just, like, think of all the people we could get involved. Yeah. Like who? Beckett. Beckett. Beckett. In Bugsy Malone on stage.

Yeah. Tom Allen. Tom might be up for it, yeah. Yeah, he'd be really good. Yeah. She's done lots of musical stuff. Judy Ruffel. She's fucking incredible on stage.

Yeah. I haven't seen her do West End plays, but she's very funny and she's very, um, uh, German, Alley. Okay, all right, let's stop. We're not going to do it. I'm just saying it. Populating a fantasy here. Yeah, but I'm just saying that if I was to come to you and go, I've just worked to the Gilgut Theater.

Yeah. And that we can put on a Christmas display of Bugsie Malone. Or Christmas Carol, you could be Scroo. You'd be a fucking amazing Scrooge. I'm sorry, that is, if you don't do Scrooge in the West End, that is a travesty, you would be the best Scrooge. Why? Because I'm a grumpy bastard. Yeah.

You'd be able to do that part, really? Scrooge. He doesn't say Scrooge. Scrooge. Humbug. Oh, yeah. It's a Scrooge, he goes Scrooge. Scrooge.

He goes humbug. Humbug. No, not like that. Jesus. Do you want my scrooge or not? Well, show me your scrooge. Hey, Mr. Scrooge, can I have 50B? What does he say?

Bah humbug. I mean, the thing is, you're like, that is West Ending it. That is the thing. You give it some, don't you? Bah humbug. That's, wow, fuck, that's really good. Do you like that? Yeah.

Mr. Scrooge, can we have some. Turkey. Be gone with you, child. Wow. Christmas is for pussies. Fuck off, you nonce. It's, um... Yeah, not a bad shout. That is, that's what we should do. Yeah, definitely. Let's get on it. Yeah.

Should we do it alongside the shoutouts for small businesses and... No, we should try... If I could... If I could get a theatre on board, through the wall for now, do one-off special... I mean, you're fucking good at knowing Nilex and stuff, and it's literally nearly... You're on stage the whole time. I could be Bob Cratchett

Yeah I don't know if that would be one of the ghosts actually Or Jacob Marley Tom Allen could be Bob Cratchett yeah okay This is not happening I'm just saying

It's way too much detail I'm just saying You on the Western stage Yeah great Email in if you buy a ticket To see Ramesh Rangor Nathan As Ebeney's screws By the way can I just say

That is I'm not having to go At anybody that does this in particular But you know when people post up Yeah Let me know where you'd want to come and see me perform. Stop doing that.

Really? Mate, it's just, sorry, you post up where do you want to come to see before and then one person says County Durham and they go, right? Who is doing that, by the way? Loads of comics do it all the time.

Yeah, okay. I just get told off to the places I'm not going on my tour. The reason I'm not going is no one brought tickets to the last time I went there. But no, but this is different. This is going, this is a spectacle.

Like you could go on this morning and promote it. I'd help out with some of that. No, I get the mechanics of it. But you as Ebenezer Scrooge feels like an event. Buh. No, hardly any costume changes because you're just in your nighty. Well, that's not a really, that's not a thing.

You don't put that in the pitch. It's not happening anyway. I think we could put a good ensemble together. I'd even probably, it's up to you what we want me to do. I could probably direct it, but I could probably be in it as well. Okay, great. All right. So bearing in mind you've not done a play, you're now offering to direct one.

Yeah, because I know this story better than anyone else. knows it. I fucking literally, it's so embedded in my soul. I want to tell this story. And the best person to tell this story is you. I'm done. Tom, you're struggling to sleep? Yeah.

I'm having some sleep. What's the problem? I can't remember the last time I had a full night's sleep. Me neither. Anxiety. Hold on. What is a full night's sleep? Six, five to six hours of just sleep.

You've not had five to six hours of just sleep. I can't remember. Probably not the last four years, certainly. Because I had five hours last night And I consider myself to be in an emergency situation now I can't, yeah, but I can't remember last time Like. So how many hours did you sleep last night?

In a row. In the night. Without waking and then for three or four hours. If you're going to start to be a prick about it. So usually I'll go to the toilet. That's, you're still, if I wake up. Break your sleep time. It does.

Because if I wake up to go to toilet, I then want to lie in bed for three to four hours, just laying there. That's a bit different. Without going back to sleep. I feel quite a spanishap. bike is it. Maybe I should get more sleep. All right, go on.

So how many hours did you get last night? So all in all, probably four and a half. Total? Yeah. What I mean is I can go to sleep really, really well. I'm great at going to sleep. That's my master thing, you know? Yeah.

I'm so good at just falling asleep. But then I'll wake up to go to the toilet or Grace will wake me up. Waking up to go to the toilet is quite a good. But what you've got to do is you've got to like, you know, you've got to go like that. And then you walk, do you sit down for a minute? No. I still stand. I mean these are all such rookie errors

Yeah Also I know I look at my phone too much before You get your phone No I look at my phone too much Close to when I go to bed Okay but you don't take your phone when you go to the toilet No but sometimes I will I'll look at it if I can't go see it

If I've laid it for 40 minutes I know that you're looking at every time now Yeah From the way that you respond Yeah yeah So every time you wake up for a way You're looking at your phone Yeah

Insanity Yeah that is absolute insanity Yeah I've got an addiction Just put your phone The other side of the room But where And then it's got my alarm on it How big is your room?

I know your house is nice, but you better hear it for the other side of the room. I'll hear it, but it's annoying if I want to put it onto a snooze. I've got to go across. That's another thing. Get rid of snooze. Snooze is a fallacy. I was so good. My sleeping was good, like, you know, in the fact I was getting up, getting into the gym.

Why am I being so assertive with my house? You have got, I like this side of you. What's happening to me today? I like this. I don't like this type of me. So, um, so let me try to help you. Why are you snoozing? Because usually I've not, usually what happens is I wake up about, I usually go to

sleep at about 10, 11. I wake up again at about 1. Then I'll be awake to about 3, 4. Then I'll drift off about 4 and then my alarm goes off at 6. And then what? You'll snooze at 6? Yeah. And then Katha Nuzzii wakes up, goes to the gym, or Grace will come in at 6 and then just

start chatting about life. But why are you snoozing? Because I'm like, I need to more sleep. I just don't think snooze is good. I'm anti- snooze. Yeah, I was before. but now fall into a snooze addiction. I'm so obsessed with snoozing.

Yeah. And like all of my, everything is off kilter now. I'm not training as much. I'm not jumping in the ice bath as much. I'm not like fucking, a lot of the stuff that I put in place to make me more rounded and stronger.

It's a bit like Iron Man if he sort of like forgot where he put his suit. Yeah. I'd still be, I mean, Tony starts pretty good without a suit, though. He's not as good as he used with me. I mean, he's not as good in a comfort.

Conflict. What's going on with me? Conflict. This is how I operate on five hours sleep. This is how you're like you're tip top. Yeah, five hours sleep for me in a row is a dream. Really?

I've had a great night's sleep. Hmm. Yeah. You should be getting eight. Yeah. Who's getting eight hours sleep? A lot of people are like that. Who?

Who? How? I think most people are getting between six and a half to eight. I'd love, you know what? And they are out there. I'd love to get a sleep expert to talk to or just give us some advice. I mean,

there's some things that you know you're getting wrong. Yeah, of course. The phone thing I'm getting wrong. But I always work well if someone from authority that I respect tells me off. Well, I'm telling it. Yeah, we're friends. Okay, shall I be your sleep expert then? Because I think I actually know quite a bit.

Okay. Like a therapy session? Well, yeah, sleep therapy session. Okay, let's do it. Hey, mate, how are you? I'm Mickey. Hello there, Mickey. I'm Dr. Sachs.

Please take a seat. Dr. Sachs? Where's that from? It's from Mauritius. Oh, cool. Never been. would love to go one day. Sure.

You seem pretty energetic for somebody. So what's exactly the problem with your sleeping? Well, Mr. Sachs, I'm only really at the moment getting probably about three to four hours sleep at night. That's a shame. So talk me through your, what's your sleep hygiene like? Well, I sometimes have a shower before. No, no, no, no, no, no. That's a common misunderstanding that people make.

sleep hygiene doesn't refer to how hygienic you are when you go to bed. Oh, my bed sheets. No, no. Very good, Mickey. No, actually, I'm laughing, but it's actually a common misunderstanding. By sleep hygiene, I refer to how good your routine is before you're going to bed. Talk me through an average evening for Mickey. What is it, sorry?

Valance. Mickey Valence. You probably have heard of me. I used to be a boxer. No, that's all the tight of fight when I was 22. Does that keep you awake? Yeah, big time. Anyway, talk me through your sleep hygiene, Mickey.

So, probably watch TV up until about 9 o'clock. So far so good? Then I'll maybe have like a chamomar tea sometimes. Great, really good. Like cams tea. Really good. Even though it does taste sometimes a bit like buttholes sometimes. In what way?

It tastes like a bottle, like a cheesy bottle. Camomar tastes like a cheesy butt. If you have had certain cammerich, you can taste a bit like a sweating butt hole. You'd also have to have had certain cheesy but holes in order to know. No, but I used to, like I said, I was around sort of a lot of guys in a gym. And what do they do? No, you pick up someone's shorts and go. And then taste them?

I just smell them to see if they were yours. That's how you'd identify people's shorts at the gym? Yeah, it's a funny old place. Then I'll play with some cammered tea. then I would brush my teeth I probably do like 50 press ups and then get into bed

just check my social media oh sorry first little problem okay checking social media right stop doing that why your bed needs to be a sanctuary for sleep

what do you mean by that what you're currently doing is when you do any other activity the obvious one I'll be going to get into. I live alone. My wife left me three years ago. Right. I've not really got over it.

I'm only 26, but it kind of feels like the end. Anyway, so... If I'm going to masturbate, I don't even want to do it in the bed. Usually do it in the bathroom or some services. That sounds okay, doesn't it? It doesn't feel like the worst than it's ever happened to anyone.

well I go to the services and do it you go to the services I get a kick at the thing in the you go to the bathroom in the services rather than doing it at home in your bed yeah how close are the services to you look it's a five minute walk so what will you do you'll arouse yourself and then will you be fully chumessent throughout the duration

of the walk no no no no I usually just get there and I'll usually sort of have some food like a burger king or okay I see or sometimes they've got a taco bell there and then I'll just go downstairs and do what I do. Have you tried not doing that? Yeah, I gave up for like a month.

I kind of missed it. It's a sort of big part of my social. I don't get to meet a lot of new. Going to the service station toilets to wank as one of your social activities. Not the wanking, but like, just not the wanking itself, just interaction with the people who work at a

place. Does any part of you think that maybe the reason you're staying awake is because you suspect some of them might know what you're going there for? no i'm pretty i'm pretty sneaky when it comes to estimating it services i don't think anyone this is unbelievable i mean a lot of people sort of say

male podcasts uh are getting based but we've uh we've dodged that billet by talking about both shitting and wanking in one episode what do you want to do you want to do a roleplay about farts now uh i just it was a complex you as a therapist i was sort of giving you something right right right to delve a little bit deeper anyway you shouldn't be looking in your phone in bed I won't do it again

The bed needs to be a sleep sanctuary The only thing you do in bed is sleep Okay What's happening now is your brain is getting associated It's associated in the bed with other things What about looking at my watch? How are you looking at watch in bed? Do you wear your watch to bed?

No, I have it by the side of the bed I wake up and go Oh Yeah, that's fine Okay Sometimes I'll make a sandwich at and sort of sit and eat it in bed.

Don't do that anymore. Okay. So literally just sleeping in there? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, nothing apart from.

Okay. Cool. Thank you, Dr. Sacks. Yeah. Do you think when we do these role plays, you know what I feel like? I feel like the initial premise feels good. And then we're just trapped, aren't we? Yeah.

We're in a prison. When you watch sketches, when you watch sketches, they've obviously worked towards a final punchline. What we've got is the initial. I mean, I can't bring myself to say and see every time. It's fucking insane. I mean, if I hadn't have stopped that then, this would have been the whole thing. Yeah, I mean, I'd have gone.

Because you don't ever bail. I haven't been character though. That's my... I know, but at some point you've got to go, it's time to fucking pull the parachute. I'd have left it as Mickey and spent the rest of... Until you called scene, I'd have been him.

That's how I am. I'm not... I can't be half in, half out. If I'm in, I'm in. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, good luck with you. What's been going on in your world, my friend?

My darling. Well, nothing really that interesting, although the boys are, I'm sort of reluctant to talk about the personal. But you know I talked about, we talked about parenting and... Yep, yep, yep, yep. The boys have all got girlfriends. What? All three of them? Yeah. Wow.

The problem I'm facing is that, you know... You're literally, by the way, now that they've all got girlfriends and stuff, you're tiptoeing into becoming like a dynasty. How do you mean? Well, you know, they're all getting girlfriend. It's like, yeah. Well, I was talking to... They're going to bring their family.

I was saying to Lisa, what would be really cool? I said to imagine if, you know, Theo, say, it might not be this girl, but Theo decides to get married. And we go to his wedding and it's like a really, you know, imagine, I said to Lisa, imagine how proud do you feel as you see your son sort of declare his love for, you know, his wife. And then you get the opportunity to... to grind on him.

That seems to be the new tradition. By the way, I think that's an old tradition. I know this is probably going to be... What, grinding up on the... No, I think that she's just had a couple too many wines. And she's just turning around. I'm going to know this is going to be quite old hat by the time this goes out.

But she was just drunk and just going, come on, come and have a dance to your mum. Come and have a dance for your old mum. It's been happening since dancing was invented. Yeah. Probably happened that Jesus is 21st. You think Mary said, come and have a dance to the old mum?

and tell me, who was it that Jesus married again? Mary Magdalene, no? Did he? I think so. I think they were, yeah, they definitely going out together. It's quite serious. Jesus and Mary Magdalene were going out together? I think so, yeah.

It's quite serious. From what I remember, yeah. Okay, fine. Let's move on, fucking hell. So hold up, so they all go out there. Yeah, so anyway, it hasn't happened yet, but what I'm nervous about is we are now moving into an era of me being

the least experience with women in the house. no can i also say you're moving to an era because certainly theo will want to bring her back Charlie he already has done what oh how can you say this story without start I need to know everything were you there? Yeah

oh my how did you play it well I already knew her so it's not really What do you mean you already knew her Because they go to the same thing I'd met her before I know her Did you know they could potentially become romantic Did you go to Theo She's she's a tell you something

She's a cracker that one I'm absolutely not, I'm absolutely never, ever going to do that, no. She's a lovely girl, that one. She's a really sweet girl. No, I mean, that's the kind of gal that I'd like to see you bring home. No, I didn't say near that. Okay, so how did you roll when the, no, I didn't, I kept my nose out of it. And then just one day they kept, you know, I just said hello.

Did you play it called, call that or be honest now? Just be honest, because the listeners deserve that. Did you play it core? It's just a bit, I was just a bit, I was a bit, like, flustered. Oh. What did you wear for a start? What do you mean, what did I wear? I'm in my fucking house.

No, yeah, but, yeah, but you put a shirt and chow. What's going on with me today? Did you put a shirt and trousers on? No. Okay. They didn't, we weren't having dinner together. They just, they just came back to hang out. So it wasn't like, what, even my tone in my voice there was like.

You've got a vibe to you. What's going on now? I don't know, I think you're a bit depressed. Hold on, can we just try. This is why we started talking about to Stasdron. I need to chill myself out. This is bad. I'm not like my tone on any of this.

You've got a vibe about you. You can't hide that vibe. No, but I don't like it. We're going to get complaints. People are going to say I'm bullying you. By the way, I can hear it? Can you hear it? Tom, can you hear it in my voice?

I've spent most of my life for getting bullied. This is my favourite version of it. Okay. I'll tell you what I'm going to do for the rest of the episode. How long have we got the rest of the episode? How long have we got? You know what? About two minutes.

I think what we need to do. I think we need to do. take a moment, right? I think at the moment, I think we need something to take you away from this, to take your head to another place. I've actually got a little something for you, a gift, because actually I might cheer you up. Okay, go on.

You've got a gift? Yeah. Fuck off. What? The hot chip challenge? Are you mental? No, I think it's great. Have you got one for yourself? No, it's just for you. Why have you got me this? I'm supposed to...

This is a lovely gift. That's not a lovely gift. That's a really nice gift. I'm not going to eat it now What do you mean you're not going to eat it now? I've just Can I just say I've just told you

I'm really stressed out And you've got this I think it's a nice present To take your mind of things All right Should we do half each? Yeah, I'll do half with you I think we just have a little tiny nibble

Yeah Right can you take it out When you're a kid And you're at a nightclub Why have you got this by the way I just thought it'd be fun It's happening again This is what I'm supposed to chill out

Okay Hold on let me try again Oh thanks for doing this man That's okay It's really sweet Let's try a little bit Do you want a bite or first or second? I'll go second.

Okay. I just want to see what size bite you go for. You just got to go in, haven't you? I didn't buy this. I didn't want to do this. Jesus. No, you've got to see you can go at longest without having a drink. God, that is hot.

You find it hot? I'm sweating. So far, I don't mind it. Are you joking? You could probably eat the whole thing then. No, don't try and fuck me up. You're just, oh my God. This is not, like, I'm literally in a fight with, like.

I actually think it's, I'm not actually, I've only had a little bit. How much did I have? Oh my God. How are you not? I'm sure I'm just waiting for it to really. I have so much respect for you. I'm pretty chill about it. Really?

Well, hold on a sec. Jesus. Sort of, it builds though, doesn't it? Yeah. Jesus Christ, how's that? Do you know what? It's actually not as bad as I thought it's going to be. I don't.

I think I could eat the whole one though. My mouth is numb. That's massively backfired on me. Like, I literally thought that would be so much. I don't know why I even bothered having a bite. That's literally fucked me up so badly. My cheeks are sweating. I literally am like, my cheeks are so sweaty.

Oh, God. Oh, my Lord. How are you not reacting? How much did you eat and how much did I eat? Let's have look. You must have had more than that. I think you need another bite. All right.

No, I've had more than it. Yeah, you definitely have more than me now. My nose is streaming. Maybe you didn't have a bit with much spice on it. Is that genuinely not affecting you? It is hot. Yeah. Oh, my God.

I literally need a shit straight away. I'm not even joking. That has gone straight to my tummy. Oh, my gosh. I literally brought that to fuck with you. And I thought, I've had one before, I thought I'd have some sort of immunity. And that has absolutely fucked my... I'm now, I mean, yeah.

But it was hot though. Yeah, I know it's fucking, what do you say, like, you've got to convince me? I'm not sure. Have you had some milk? Yeah, I've drunk that whole milk. Downed it. Oh, God. What was I even drinking?

Thanks so much for bringing that. Tom, could you do us the honours of taking us out? life is full of challenges. Sometimes it's a challenge you set yourself or sometimes it's one that you set as other people. It's always worth knowing your limitations in life. Even when you're doing something that you might have done before and thought, actually, I don't remember it being that bad,

but it is worse than you imagined. My glasses are so steamed up. I'm literally in bits. always think responsibly what have you got and what is there to gain from challenging yourself and if it isn't something that will change your financial circumstance

and your family's livelihoods then probably just leave it behind thank you for listening god or why I'm literally in bits this has been the Wolfenau podcast thank you so much for listening and watching wolfoutout at gmail.com

for any emails, queries, pictures, stories, anything you like? Yeah. Peace!