Wolf and Owl - In-Laws, FOMO and Thierry Henry

Episode Date: May 28, 2026

Who is the alpha male between Tom and Romesh? What happened after Romesh’s childhood reunion on Michael McIntyre’s Big Show? Who else has Tom been texting and why does he think about Romesh in bed? Plus, should we get special guests on the pod? Don’t forget to just do you and send us your, questions, queries and funny photos and videos to us at [e-mail] A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 🎬 00:00 Intro 01:06 In-law opinions 10:50 Dylan and Michael McIntrye 16:28 Thierry Henry 18:01 Late 20s and hobbies 22:52 Life FOMO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yeah, what you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer. Just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hi, guys. Welcome to a special listener questions episode of the podcast. What podcast? Shall I go again? Yeah. Okay.

Hey, guys. Welcome. Hey, guys. Hello. Welcome to a special listener questions episode of the podcast. podcast that you're listening to, which is the wolf. And our. And Al.

So, what is a listeners episode, Rob? What does it mean? Tell the viewers stroke listeners. Yeah, this is the email out. Okay. This is our first email. Boom! Oh, it's anonymous. This is anonymous.

Okay. First off, I'm a big, thank you so much for the message festival to the person. Oh, thank you for writing in. Yeah. First off, I'm a big fan of the pod. And although I was late to the party, it's quickly become my favourite. I'm hoping you can give me some advice on an issue I'm having with my father-in-law. Difficult one, isn't it?

It's tricky. Well, we don't know what the problem is. Well, and father-in-law is difficult. You know it's going to be difficult. Not always. Okay. Sometimes I can be delicious human being. My wife and I are both in our mid-forties.

I have two daughters aged 12 and 14 from a previous marriage. And my wife and I have a three-year-old son and will be adding another daughter in the spring. Congratulations. I'm not a typical male. I don't care about sports. but my father who are always a massive sports fan and raised five sons, who all played hockey. Wow.

That's going to be difficult, isn't it? Like going around there, it's going to be tricky, right? Well, if they're talking about hockey, it's a long day. Well, no, but what I'm saying is they're all sporty, sporty alphas. Yeah. And then you turn up as a bit of a kind of non-sport. By the way, can I just say, I don't necessarily, I think hockey's a really great sport.

I think it's brilliant, but I don't think it's necessarily an alpha-alpha. Like if they were all rugby players, for example, then you're in for a long day. Okay, fine. But being sporty lends itself to alphaness, doesn't it? Yeah, if you're good at stuff. But also, you can get alphas or aren't good at sports. Yeah, true. But if you're good at sports, you're good at sports, you have a cocky walk.

You're more alpha. You're more alpha adjacent. Because you've always... You're better coordinated, you know, all that shit. But also, you've always been sort of high social status as well. Yeah, if somebody kicks a ball to you in the park, you don't shit yourself. No. There's a point I'm trying to make.

Yeah. My son has quite long and slightly curly hair, which I love. On a recent visit, my father and all began commenting that it was too long. And he needed cutting because he's a boy. Oh, God. He since said this again while my son was on a video call. I'm not okay with negative comments about my children's appearance when they can hear it. I'm not okay with people's comments about my children's appearance regardless.

Yeah, and also, yeah. I'm personally offended as my own hair is long, and I'm deeply uncomfortable with this casual sexism, especially with another daughter on the way. I don't know how to handle this, how to even broach the subject with my wife. Please look into your sweet, sweet souls and give me some advice. How do you draw boundaries?

Ocena, God. I mean, I think this is, I think he's over the father of the law overstep the mark massively here. I think number one, I would arguably say, like, one of the greatest sportsmen

that we've had in this country has had some very cool hairstyle. Who you're talking about? David Beckham. Oh. I think, like, I think hair, you know,

having long hair is not a sign of like, I think it's a cool thing, right? Mm. I think the fact is, like, individualism should be praised. I think if that's why we're, they want their sons. have his hair. I think the son turned around and says, I don't want long

hair, then fair enough. But I think the idea of someone criticising and making aspersions, just because which feels like that's what was happening here with the father and nor. I also think, like, I'd probably make a joke of this. Because I'm guessing I don't know the guy,

but he's not cool that this, you know, the father-in-law and I go, maybe I'll take tips on hockey. Probably won't be taking style advice from you and me old, mate, and to make a joke about it. No, but sorry, you're the father and I'll shout out. Okay, fine. Yeah. I was just saying to Catherine that...

Why is she called Catherine? What is that my wife's name? Well, it's quite a common name, isn't it? Okay. All right. What do you want the name to? What being character, Alice? Right, fine. I was just saying to Alice that I think little Andrew's hair is possibly a bit long. Looks a bit messy, doesn't it? Oh, that's weird. I was just saying to

Melanie that I will take your advice about sports but maybe not in style considering the shoes you're wearing, loll? Why did we have to do a role play for you to just repeat what you said in the example? No, just how... We've gone to all that time

like we've set it up now. You ask for a different wife's name and you just said exactly the same fucking thing. Yeah, but my point was just how to say it in a way of it. Well, you said it exactly the same. Don't say it in an aggressive way, but have a joke with it. Because they're actually...

I thought that sounded quite aggressive. Okay, let me do it again. Well, I might take some sports advice off your neck, but probably not some style advice. Loll? Why are you saying Lod out loud? Just because it... Yeah, you don't laugh out loud after your own joke.

Well, you don't have to do any of it. Those aren't the only options. What I'd say is you need to be very careful because there's an alpha house he's going into, right? You don't want to antagonise, but also you have to stand your ground. because essentially what's happening here and I don't know a lot about this family

I only know what's being written here. Genuinely, you don't know a lot of this family. No, but it's a very alpha-like house and you kind of have to meet that with what it needs for them. You know, I've been in situations with alphas and straight away. You're not more right now, baby. You actually have got an alpha way.

No, I don't. You've got an alpha way about you at times. I'm the betaist of betas. You're not that beta. Who did you need to more beta, I mean you? Me. Really? Yeah.

I don't know about that. Okay. But what I say, like, for example, when I used to be on building sites, there was like real alphiness there. Yeah.

Like, you have to sometimes give it a little bit just so you're not feeling like you're, you're getting pumped off. And I think if they're making jokes about his hair and his son's hair, I think he's kind of got to stand his ground a little bit. And I think when he talked,

I actually think like, I think in a sense he needs to, if that's upset him, I think he should be saying that to his father in-law, rather than going to his wife and saying, I'm not happy of this, because that puts her in a situation. And I don't think you have to be aggressive. I think you can say, look, hey, man, that's, that's what, you know, my son

so lights his hair like that, rather than, because also that, that happens a lot in, and with in-laws, in a sense, and people, what people tend to do is they'll make a a conversation about something without actually directly saying it. Like, you know, instead of, whatever his feelings are, he'll just make this sort of roundabout way, a bit like I want to do now. and I think you have to kind of stand your ground I mean I'm quite without getting any more of the details

I just think this is none of the father-in-law's fucking business but you have to you have but my point is in this situation if he doesn't say something and stand his ground and say what he feels in this situation I feel that that's just going to what this will become another thing and another thing because actually the way that this is written

and how you know you could that's all we've got as judge this seems like a very decent human being, a good dad, a really nice man, who has, but also has a moral compass and he has his own beliefs in how he goes forward as a human being and he's quite stuck to, you know, he believes in those. And I think actually with your father, I think it's a far better thing to come across and go, no, that's not how I think it should be, rather than, you know, trying to, you know, I think you sometimes got to be firm.

I agree. I totally agree. I think it's great advice. I think it's great advice. I sort of think like, um, we had a, uh, not a similar situation to this. We had a bit of a situation years ago with my mum. Right.

Where we said to our Theo, our eldest, when he was a little kid, he'd got like, we used to do star charts. Do you do those? Rewards charts? Yeah, yeah, good, dude. Anyway, eventually got loads of stars. Wow. And we said he could choose, he would like dressing up. He said he can choose a costume from the Disney store.

Yeah. That was near us at the time. We thought he might choose, you know, Will he choose Captain America? Yeah. Will he choose Iron Man? He chose Mini Mouse, right? By the way, style icon.

Style, absolutely style icon. I said to Lisa, well, I just wasn't, I was just like, yeah, if he wants to Minnie Mouse, get a Minnie Mouse. Anyway, it triggered my mum. She became slightly panicked. Really? Yeah, because she was just like, why is he wearing MiniMont? I don't know. And so then I had to like say to Mum, first of all, he's too, it just doesn't, it just doesn't matter.

So I had to like have a chat with her about, because she sort of started to express a bit of concern in front of him. Yeah. And then I'm just like, I don't want this to start. I don't want him to think that this is a thing. Do you know what I mean? So I just kind of had to, I wasn't firm with mum,

but I just sort of said, mum, I had a serious conversation with that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but I think as well with that situation as well, like, you know,

I think what's beautiful about kids at that age is they, it's just, they like that thing, there's no judgment. And they're not thinking about a wider picture. And I think for as long as in this world you can have that air about you where you look at things with a bit of wonder

or you're completely being yourself and you're not falling into a norm and this is just how I feel and this is what I'm going to do. That's kind of a beautiful thing. I think Anonymous, you're well within your rights to say to your father-in-law,

I think you can be firm about it. Yeah. And I think you can say, I don't appreciate it. First of all, it's up to us how we have our... Yeah. It's up to him actually, how he has his hair.

Secondly, I don't think it's appropriate for him to make comments like that. And leave it at that. It doesn't have to start a war, but what I think is if you try and joke your way out of it or be light about it, it might continue to be a thing.

I think actually there is some value in being quite straight down the line about it. And you also have to wonder, like, do all five of his boys want to play hockey? He was here big hockey fan. Did they want to be... Well, they just compromise and bullying into it? Yeah.

Musicians or something. Yeah, play the guitar. Yeah. That was their dream. Or the harmonica or the heart. Because what you sometimes realize and go back to the last episode. Saxophone or you probably start on a clarinet.

When I was summing up about Martin the dog, there's a lot there actually to unpack. In what way? Well, about like looking for things and thinking. Please don't do a call back to that. Right? It was difficult enough to sort of comment on it in the moment, let alone referencing it in another episode.

Right, thank you so much, anonymous. Good luck with it. And Al. I just thought I'd drop a note to say how I moved I was to see the Al reunited with Dylan on a TV a while ago. Well, that's quite a little. Oh, okay. This is the talk about the McIntyre thing.

Okay, that's beautiful. I don't usually watch Michael McIntyre show, but happen to catch it. And so far, I've rewatched this bit about a dozen times. Ramesh, your reaction is beautiful. And you're obviously genuinely choked up to see him. So much, it made me cry. Wow. Would love to know a bit about what.

happened afterwards if you're happy to share love the weeping wildebeest Dave that's yeah beautiful uh did you watch it Tom I've seen a clip of it yeah it's a kid that you went to school with right yeah so this doesn't remember me

this is the room of me because also there was different your first kiss was on there as well not my first kiss I just assumed that's what it was why did you assume it was my first kiss I just assumed that the way that it was that was it wasn't my first kiss oh okay second

second kiss No, it was, anyway, so we did this thing called Remember Me where they bring out, you go onto the show, they bring out people from the past and you have to say if you remember them. So it was a girl, your second kiss. Yeah. There was a sound man. A sound man who just done him like. Did a little prank, yeah. Yeah.

And then this Dylan, by the way, can I just say, and this is, I know you're fucking taken a bit. But what, that was a really bad prank to put on you on the sense that of all the people I've worked with your one of the most genuine people to anyone that they come across. No, you do. It was bad, wasn't it? Maybe it looked like a real piece of shit No, but that isn't you Michael Can I say there's a lot of people

No, I mean There's a lot of people They could have played that one Yeah But I think you Oh, Corden I'm not gonna go through no So I'm not as brave as you're

I'm a weak coward Who'll just genuinely just Yeah So this person comes on And it is a really beautiful moment Yes And it's like At first I didn't record

I did I remember Dylan His name is Dylan Cool name, by the way. His name still is Dylan. Yeah, 80s, 90s, that's a cool name. I was shocked. I don't know as any Dylan's living in the UK at that point.

In what point? In the 80s and 90s? Yeah. Dylan was like just an American name there. Anyway, I remember hanging out with Dylan, but I didn't equate the person that I was seeing in front of me with Dylan. Yeah. Because it was obviously what, 35 years ago.

40 years later, yeah. So I just didn't clock it. And then suddenly it came to me. So I had this moment of, like, it was cool. man. It's like the kid that I used to hang out with all the time. We used to like, you know, get a little bamboo stick and go fishing in the river

and then we'd like we'd kick cans around and sometimes we'd play like the ukulele together and stuff. Your child is essentially Huckleberry Finn. We had a dog on a string and sometimes we'd get on the old riverboat and head on down and annoy some of the local

village. Wider than a mile I'm crossing you in style. No, no, I'm joking. It was nice, that's really nice. So hold up. So what I think all of us are interested in is what happened after the show. So he came up to me afterwards.

So I went over and said hello to the master. A beautiful moment. And he said, not the Sandman. Yeah, obviously not. I imagine he was busy in himself and also felt very sort of like vulnerable after him being used as a bit of a prank. That's how these things work. Neil, can you do a prank on Rommish? I don't really want to be on camera.

Come on, mate. Yeah. You frowned upon if you don't do it. Anyway, he said to me, I had to chat with him and said, thanks a lot. You chat to both of them? The goy. Yeah.

Yeah. And he said, just show you know I've got a lot better at kissing. Yeah, but let's talk about, I was about to do a joke there. And then I just regret that. It was such an obvious thing to say. I was going to go enough about Dylan.

Anyway, yeah, I had a chat with Sonia. Yeah. had a chat with Dylan Sonia, by the way, massive 80s and 90s. So yeah, huge. Huge. And then Dylan said to me,

that was cool, wasn't it? I said, yeah, it was really cool. And he said, well, let me know if you want to keep in touch and I just went, fuck off, mate. No, I can reveal exclusively on the wall for now. Dylan and I going out for lunch.

We're going to have a little, like, reconvene. That's not like just really, but did you get to know much about what Dylan's been up to because obviously he knows everything about you. Not really, no. I mean, we've had a WhatsApp course.

Did you talk about Dylan and your books? No. Wow. Okay. What do you mean? What's that mean? What's that reaction? Well, you play with them all the time when you're kids.

Yeah, but I mean, like you sort of tell interesting stories in your book, don't you? What, fucking, I hope this isn't, I hope you have lunch before this episode. No, but Dylan, I don't mean he's going to take this in a bad way, but me and Dylan going down the park to play football. Like, who gives the fuck about it? Yeah, that's kind of, I mean. No, that's, I mean, that's part of the problem with these books. That's why so many of them are so fucking boring. Well, yeah, it's probably why I'm struggling with my, yeah.

I've got like 62 pages about me going to the park play with various people. Yeah, exactly. We want a load of shit. And get to the good bits, people writing books about their lives. Yeah, but you've written five autobiographies now. No, two. Yeah, and Dylan didn't. Poor Dylan.

You would be nice, actually. This is what you should do, is you should have a book from, like, the moment you stopped seeing each other all the time, from where Dylan's life went, and then where your life went, and then the reconvene. And then it's like this beautiful book about yours. Dylan's sort of relationship could be turned into a stage play. That sounds what we call in the business unsellable.

Okay. Ready for another email? Yeah. Hello. By the way, if Dylan wants to, he can come on here, we could have quite laugh with Dylan when he came on here. That is a sort of special thing that we get Dylan. We've never had a guest on.

We should talk about this. Are we ever going to have a guest on? I'd love to have guests on. What sort of guests would you have? I think if, I'd love to hear you on really just for the fact. it would be quite fun. But what would Tia, okay, so imagine Tieri

when he comes on the podcast, what do we do with him? We have a laugh with him. Like what? How? Current affairs, ask him some questions. What could you mean current affairs?

What do you know about current affairs? Nothing really. Okay, so what would we actually do with them? That's the problem. It's all very well, I know you and Tieri are mates. Oh, they're not really mates? Well, you text each other, right?

Again, going back to the last episode. When's the last time you had a text interaction with Tieri and Ray? About a year ago, probably. Oh, no, I'll tell you, when he won the, or he got to the final at the Olympics with the French team. Okay.

And we had a bit of a chat then. Yeah. What did you say? Just congratulations, my friend. Well done. He replied. Yeah. By the way,

can I say he, he has instigated chat with me. Yeah, you did tell me that, yeah. And, so you're actually mates with Thierry and Ray. I'm not mate, mate,

yeah, we get on. But you've got his phone number. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty amazing. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah, it's a pretty cool thing.

Yeah. He's a nice guy. I like him. He's very genuine. he'd be great on here. Yeah, but why? How? We could get Dylan on, then we get him on the next.

So it's like we both bring a friend to work type thing. Oh, you really are. Okay. Here's our next email. Hello, Wolf, Alcat and Swan. I hope you all well. My name's Peaceful Pelican. I just want to start by thanking you for your pod.

I use it as a coping technique for my anxiety, which has been getting out of hand. I work in healthcare. I need to read this with a different tone. What the fuck are I doing? Jesus Christ. cheesy there. Sorry, peaceful.

Pelican. Terry Wogan. My name's, I can't, I can't not do it like that. My name is peaceful Pelican. Okay, fine. My name. I just wanted to start by thanking you. Okay. I just want to start by thanking you for your pod. I can't read now. What's happened to me? I use it as a, I use

it as a coping technique for my anxiety, which has been getting out of hand. Is that all right? Yeah. Yes. I work in health care and struggle. I work in healthcare and struggle. I work in healthcare and struggle with shift work and general life stresses. I know you guys speak openly about mental health and it really helps me realize I'm not alone.

I've recently turned 27 and feeling very lost. I've got a lovely boyfriend. Half my friends have kids and are moving on with their lives and others still like to go out and party. Apart from the gym, I have no hobbies. Do you feel a certain way when you're around this age? Please don't ever change. Tom's laugh and Rom's dry humor is contagiously funny.

Huge fan. Well done for having a great laugh. Yeah. I do actually, it's fine. Do you know you are doing one of the people who makes me laugh? So I don't realize how much I laugh at you until I ever listen back to this podcast. Why are you listening back to the podcast?

No, we have to listen back. Oh, for the other. I never do that. I always pretend I have. I'm right. But I, Kaffin always says, well, you laugh so much. You're like a giddy school sort of kid around Mommish.

I don't, I think you might be around me, but not at me. I think most of what makes you laugh is stuff that you've said. No, it's not. It's your reactions that now is sort of visual thing. If I'm doing something, one of my favorite things in life, It's I'm doing something and you do your stony face thing, but I know that you think. But this, you think I'm doing a thing. That's just my face.

It's so sweet and funny. It's one of the things that makes me happy. Generally, sometimes, oh, well, I'm bed and if I'm feeling a bit sad and depressed, I'll think of one of the conversations we've had in our friendship and it will make me chuckle. Oh my God. That's one of the sweetest and saddest things you've ever said. I do. I get so much elevation from this, you know, this relationship, this brotherhood.

What's your advice? So number one, I think, I think the misconception, can I just say, firstly, at 27, I was partying all the time and I was going to pubs all the time and I was very, very lonely. Just a bit. No, but. Do a lot of partying? Just a little. Just on the, I think, the idea that if you're going out and you're drinking and you're being around people at a time that you're not lonely. That's, I look back at that time and still, you know, a lot of friends.

I remember quite a few people having christening's and weddings that I wasn't invited to because I'd be a bit of a live. if I did turn up. So I felt very much like, I think, in a similar sort of, and I didn't actually have any outside interests other than drinking and just being out, and that was my only thing. So I think wherever you're at that age, I think 27, late 20s getting into 30s,

it's kind of a weird place because you are always, no matter where you're at, there's always going to be seemingly people around you who've got their shit together more than you have. And that's whether people, you know, I'd have been looking at someone who's going to the gym all the time at that point and that being their direction with envy thinking oh fuck they

they've got their shit together they're going out they're doing that we play into this sort of stereotype even more now with the way the modern world with social media and stuff is you actually you feel like you should be doing stuff that people not just people around you because that circle can be quite small but actually the larger world you're looking at and going

oh maybe I should be doing this maybe I should be doing that maybe my shit isn't together I think you truly to actually feel number one not lonely and not a fit with like feeling that you're missing out, you actually need to go, right, what are the things that I need to fulfill myself without looking around at other people? What are the things that bring me joy and the gym brings you joy and you enjoy working out? That's, that's a great thing. And look at other things you can do just day to day, just to think they're the small things that you're in a loving

relationship. That's a great thing. You're in a happy place. And I think it's then just looking at other little things that you can add to what you've got. There's already a stable place and a stable sort of life in which you've built for yourself rather than just looking, and I'm cobbled, this. I think most people are. I constantly looking at other people thinking, I should do this better or shit. And for me now, I'm like, and actually let me look at what I'm doing and realize that you're the main player in your life. Only you can change that. And everyone else is just concentrating on their shit, let them do that. And you just stick to what you're doing and build on what you've already got because it's a pretty solid foundation. Romski.

That is, I don't know if I can do anything with that. It's great advice. Sometimes. Really, really good, man. Well, thank you very much. Jesus. Holy shit. This is the way you read the email, really. Oh, fuck off.

And also I feel an empathy with this person. Yeah. Just a you. Just a you. I was going to get a tattoo. I'm going to get a tato. I might get that just a you. Just a you?

Yeah. Why do you just get J.D.Y. You'll be it and people. We'll say what. I don't know. Thank you so much for your email. And thanks so much to listen to the podcast. Very sweet, wouldn't you?

Very sweet about the podcast. Yeah, very lovely. I sort of could only reiterate what Tom said. I mean, you said you've not got any hobbies but you go to the gym but going to the gym is that's a good thing getting out and about um i do agree with tom in terms of there is this perception of what we're supposed to be doing at whatever age i mean either settling down or going out and partying and all of that and uh the truth is i think you just got you just got to do what you want to do you know what i mean and

if you're feeling lonely um and they're you know in your 20s if you are looking to sort of get more hobbies and look for opportunities to make friends, you can be more proactive about it and sort of look at things that you might be interested and then maybe turn up to like even a class or something like that, right? Do you know what I mean? And sort of there's often, um, with like groups and stuff that meet up to do whatever, like even like whether it's, I don't know, a run club or, uh, a painting group or whatever, that will have like a social ecosystem around it.

And so you can very quickly find yourself like, you know, making friends in that. way. But I, you know, part of the problem that you've got or part of the problem that you're facing is that you are suffering from life phomo. And that is that you're looking at what everybody else is doing and you're thinking they must be having a really amazing time or they're doing it better and I'm not doing it right. There is no doing it right or doing it wrong. There is no your space to be doing it. You, like Tom said, as a tattoo will confirm, just do you. So whatever your choices are, that is absolutely fine. And you need to try and find a way to stop beating yourself up for not doing what you perceive everybody else to be doing.

There's nothing wrong in that, you know? And so, you know, the truth is when you get to your 40s, like Tom and myself, one of the greatest gifts that being in your 40s gives you is that you stop doing what you think people perceive that you should be doing. You just do what you want to do. You become a bit more comfortable in your own skin. Tom and I never get anxious about what people think of us. We never worry about what people are saying about us.

lunch where I'm out of down completely huge. You can console me in a restaurant. You know, we have blips. We have blips. No, I'm joking. But in all seriousness, like, I think, you know. I think as well, you've got a gauge on it now. Yeah, you've got to do what you want

to do, man, and not worry about it. You know, absolve yourself of the worry of this perception of what you're supposed to be doing. That would be my best, my biggest bit of advice to you. Okay, that's it. That's all for this email episode. Really good emails. Thank you so much all of your messages.

And Wolf, actually, I'll let Tom give the email address. Hi, guys. So it is

Wolf OurPod at Gmail.com. Send your emails, queries, funny photos. This is a visual format now so we can really

get delved. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to get into a thing where we're just

going, oh, and thanks to Lucy, who sent us this picture of a cat that's got a seven to a bit of a pickle.

I don't want to come out. No, no, but if it's like, oh, it was like my Neil's birthday

and made him a wolf for now cake. Yeah, something like, okay, that would be fine. But not like... Or funny videos of you doing a ROM impression or like doing me doing a city walk. Anything you've got. Oh, am I making you laugh again? Oh no, that's right.

You've just set yourself off into a little giggle fest. Gigal fest, fucking kill me. Thank you so much for listening to the world for now. See you next time.