Wolf and Owl - Pablo Escobart, Pigs and Massages

Episode Date: June 11, 2026

When will people stop sending unsolicited d*ck pics? Will AI help us to really talk to animals? And what animal would Tom most like to talk to? What do Tom and Rom do to relax? And has Tom actually taken Romesh’s sleep advice? Don’t watch this episode while eating pineapple, or any food for that matter…and don’t forget to send your questions, dilemma and voice notes to us at [e-mail]. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters: 00:00 Intro01:33 Tom’s DMs03:39 Vegan dilemma08:52 Pablo Escobart10:18 Burn out17:52 Play safe Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer, just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello and welcome to The Wolf and Al. Hi there, I'm The Owl. And I'm The Wolf. And this is an email bonanza. What we like to do is get some of your emails from people that like the show and support the show. and what we do. And we try and spread a little bit of cheer and advice. And look, we're not experts.

Nobody's saying we're experts. But we'll do what we can to give you a little bit of advice. This episode is sponsored by Baby Bell. Premier cheese for fussy children. I just, I know we're not sponsored by Baby Bell. Does Little G like Baby Bell? She loves them. Yeah, she does.

I like them to be fair. Yeah, I used to like my pre-Beegs days. Yeah. When I was a kid, they used to love just getting all the wax together. They don't make a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Waxbogie. Yeah, well, yeah, but you just sort of...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they're nice if you wrap a burger around, mince around it, a burger. Around a baby bell? Yeah. Does it melt? Yeah, yeah. Baby Bell's melt?

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. Well, it's kind of softer. Okay, fine, so they don't melt. There's a lot, okay. There's plastic in there, so they don't melt. Yeah. Sorry, Baby Bell about that, obviously,

sponsoring the book of us. But you are, but Tom does think you're toxic. Okay. Let's have a look at question. email one. Would you like me to read it? I think you should read it, Ramesh. Hi, Wolf and Al. I was listening to your pod episode,

but you talk about the possibility of one day smashing a rack of ribs. Life goals, and then pondered French kissing Tom after he'd eaten some to get that meaty hit. Fucking. What do we talk about on this thing? God. Imagine if this was the first time you're listening to this. So they talked about smashing a rack of ribs

and then tongue kissing each other. There's been a lot of that Can I say by the way I mean I don't want to, because this is then we'll talk about the next Mike the level of messages I'm getting now about having a homosexual awakening is insane

some of the voice notes and some of the messages I'm getting is I mean I'm very very complimented but some are taking it. A lot of men want to smash you right? It's become quite extreme or they want you to smash them. Yeah, there's actually been some video footage

and pictures. Have you been sent dick pics? Yeah. And other sorts of picks, yeah. What do you mean other, asshole picks? Yeah. Somebody sent... From down, looking up.

Like a... Oh my God, really? Yeah. Yeah, like... And do you reply? No. No, I'm like, yeah, I'm complimented, but I'm not... I don't...

By the way, I'm now staying out of that folder. Why? Because... Because you can't be sitting around the house with a hard on. I can't be on the tube with one. Yeah. That's what I opened one the other day. I was on the train.

I was like, what's this? Yeah. Well, no, because the actual capture went, unlucky West, you know, sad to see West Ham go down. And then,

tell you who else would go down. No, genuinely, and I opened a picture and it was a picture of a dick. Like, basically this will put a smile on your face. Did it?

Well, like, yeah, yeah, it was a decent looking deep. Some of them are nicer than others, aren't they?

Yeah, of course, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I mean, if you're worried when I... Fuck you, hell. This episode is brought to you by Activia. You might already be eating yogurt, but not all yogurts are created equal.

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You're among fans. Okay. I have a question related to this quandary. I've posed the same question to lots of my vegan veggie omnivore friends. What's an omnivore? Meat and you're an omnivore. What's that mean? You eat like meat and vegetables.

Vegetables. I don't happen to me that. Be and vegetables. And I've yet to receive a definitive answer. In fact, it's kept me awake at night. Can a vegan morally suck off a meat eater to completion? I don't think, can I say, by the way, a French kiss feels like a bit different.

Yeah. My husband says absolutely you can, but then he would say that, wouldn't he? And he's for a blosser. And if one is on the, what the fuck is going on? And if one is on the cards, he would agree to absolutely anything.

Anyway, surely a meat eater's love juice would contain meat traces, wouldn't it? But can I just say, the way you're phrasing this, it's absolutely dreadful you can taste things like pineapple juice chocolate and asparagus after all can you?

I don't know, pineapple makes it sweeter doesn't it? It did the last time I tried. Please can you put my question out there to your listeners and need to yourselves? Thanks for keeping me sane and making me smile while my husband is away. He's going to blow the back of your head off when he comes back.

Easy. I just... Yeah, I know, no, no. It's just been deployed with the British Army overseas to do important manship. You truly are sweet, sweet sales. Thank you for everything you do. Much love from the knackered Kodiak bear. Sorry, what exactly is...

Oh, yeah, so can a vegan suck off a... Is Jiz vegan, I guess is the question? I think it is, no. I mean, I think if you're a highly carnivorous diet, then it's obviously in you, isn't it? You know what I mean? I mean, I... I mean, look, so if you're a vegan,

can any suck off vegans, is that the point? Well, I mean, I guess it's how disciplined you are. Because Lisa eats meat. Yeah, and I suck her off all the time. What's your point? That's what I mean. Okay, this is actually quite an interesting, weirdly.

I mean, I don't, the road into it was pretty, pretty graphic as savage. But I actually think it's an interesting point, Ray. Yeah. The issue that vegans have is that these creatures have not consented to have their, right? So if you eat a pig, you know, the pig is not consented to have and it's flesh being eaten, et cetera, et cetera. But if there was some world in which a pig could like, I know this sounds mad, but if a pig said have my, if a pig was able to go, you can have my leg, I'm only going to grow it back. That doesn't happen, does it?

Pigs? I'm saying. You're asking me if a talking pig says... No, I'm just saying, pigs don't grow their... No. Because some animals grow their bits back. No, no, no, no, it doesn't happen.

Can I say by the way, they reckon AI, within five years, we'll be able to talk to animals. How? They're going to somehow work out a way that animals... The language or whatever. That can converse.

Yeah. So you won't have a full conversation. It won't be like, Hello, Robbish. How are you today, mate? It'll be like, he'll be able to just converse whether he's happy or sad or, you know, you sort of get a thing of that because obviously

actually pigs are really intelligent. Yeah, I am. Yeah. You could actually probably have a really good chat with a pig. Yeah, I think you could. I think you might end up having to chat with a pig and it walks away. But when the meat eaters eating it. Yeah.

I think they've done the damage. That's done then. Yeah. The transaction is done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So when the vegan philates them. Yeah.

I don't think there's an issue that I think it's fine. I do. I don't think, yeah. I think otherwise you, vegans would have to stick to vegans. Yeah. Otherwise, how are we going to complete our experiment?

Yeah. What do you think? I think exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so, by the way, that was quite a, a testing. I have not,

and by the way, I know we talked about kissing and now I'm going to say something even worse. What? I'm intrigued. in how what you eat affects the taste of your jizz. But you can try that yourself. I'm not going to, what am I doing?

Eating something jizzing. Yeah, but then eating something else jizzing. Go through your body. Yeah, I know that. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to wank as I'm eating pineapple. No, but yeah, I'm just saying that, yeah, you can do it. You haven't got to, like, enlist loads of people to do that.

No, no, I get that. You can do that yourself. But I think if you were doing that, can we just talk about the... Lisa! Come on a toast. sweeter sour but you don't want to put it

into a cup or so and then it's going to get cold isn't it? It's not porridge I don't eat why it's hot I do think it's best to serve warm would be my guess or at least body temperature

yeah anyway we've managed to make it more disgusting the initial email thank you so much knackered Kodiak bear yeah thank you

yeah Hi Wolf out and Swan I'm away on a family holiday to Rhodes this week and using my time wisely to catch up on episodes of the wolf for now while I'm sitting by the pool. Enjoy those cocktails, friend. Imagine my surprise, walking around Lindos,

turning a corner and seeing Rom. I attach the photos so you can see what I mean. I'd be after an image rights if I are you. All the best, the sea turtle. Okay. I'm assuming this can be some logo with some guy with a beard and glasses. Let's have a look.

Pablo Escobar. It's quite a funny t-shirt. Now, I've actually been sent this before. Really? So, do you know, when I had my hair longer and had just the tash? I mean, literally, you had that exact look. That is, it's not even a piss take. That is exactly how I look.

No. And it's also got that startled look that you do. Yeah. That is, that's, I hope that person got that t-shirt. We should get you that t-shirt to wear. Have we had enough fun with Banta Cannon 1? No. That would be a sick t-shirt.

Well, thank you so much, yeah. stuff. Did you buy it? I hope they brought a t-shirt. If you did, send us a picture of you wearing a t-shirt to say, Zaini, like, down in a shot or something. You'll send it because it's not, I don't have to look at it anymore, so. Jumping in the pool. Thank you so much for your email.

Thank you. That's lovely. Thank you. Really nice. Okay. Here's the next one. Hello, Wolf Owl Animal Pack. Thanks for the advice around imposter syndrome back in episode 18. It really helped. I've now slipped to the other end of the spectrum. So this is a previous... Yeah. I've now slipped onto the other end of the spectrum, burnout.

raised 250,000 pounds for local community improvements and been offered multiple roles outside my day job and I can never seem to switch off. Okay, this email seems like a bit of a flex so far. Yeah, but can I say what an incredible human being? Yes, absolutely. So the key question is, how do you to relax? I struggle to chill out with that Mary Jane or Crispy Pint, which clearly are unhealthy habits. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Big love, J-L-R. By the way, can I just have so much admiration for people who sign off from an email? their initials like that. That's what presidents do, isn't it?

Well, I think what's happened there is it starts with Jay and you've thought of JFK and that's why you've said it. No, no, but I don't think presidents, DJT does it, doesn't I? Yeah, Donald Trump. Donald Trump, didn't he sign something like he made a signature into a pair of boobies or something? Boobies, I can't ever said boobies. Jesus Christ, that is the... Oh, didn't he make his signature in a pair of boobies?

You make him to a pair of boobies, mate. Go on. Felix, come here. Go to a nudist beach. See some boobies. Get some boobies. Goose. Fuck!

You know what Pavl Iskobar like? Boobies. Why do I say boobies? Boobies. Oh my God. I'll tell you what. Merch-wise, we need the Pavlo Escobar T-shirt. The Escobar T-T-shirt.

The Escobar T-T-shirt a big grin on his face with boobies underneath. Shit! Anyway. How do you relax? I don't think I... I don't think I'll relax enough. I would say that.

As an actual constant, I can't remember the last time I sat and didn't sit worrying or thinking or I wasn't, you know, I went away with Catherine a little while ago. and we had a nice, really nice, two days away. Yeah. Three days actually, three days away. And I did, it was the first time I switched off.

Where'd you go? Late Como. Lovely. And I switched off. And I managed to just spend that time with her, chilling, just being together. And actually, that was, that was, you know, just being with caffeine, I was like, this is nice. I think when I'm with Grace, I tend, but then with, just being, I don't know about, we talked about it's the last episode. As a parent, I don't think you can't switch off.

You're constantly. an air of tension in you because you're so worried. Anxiety and fear is in you. So, I do, actually, do you know one thing, actually? And I took,

I was very, I took the mick out of you a little bit about the meditation. I took your advice and started doing meditation before bed. It's changed, that and some lavender on my feet.

Beautiful. Has completely changed the game. Great. I had a holistic massages the other day. By one of the most fine men I've ever met my life. He was incredible. He was an upstanding young man, 31, really incredible guy. How did you know his age? Because I chatted to him for the dog. I went in there and I was like,

listen man, I'm shattered. I might just end up falling asleep. He was like, he was like, bro, you just do what you got to do. And I'm like, go, okay. I lay there, lay face down. He starts going to work and I went, oh, you got a gift. You got a gift. And I was like, this sounds really, really horrible. Not as horrible as boobies, but so I was like, so we start chatting and he said like, he was such an incredible human being, taught for the whole massage

an hour. By the way, he was like the amount of stress you're carrying on your right shoulder. He said, that's where we pack all that stress in his right shoulder. He did so much work on it. Just walked away going. Thank you very much. There you go. Yeah.

I felt chilled then. I think I have managed to You chill out looking at boobies, right? Why's Dad got to make Yeah, he's just chilling out, son. Lisa, I can't get to sleep. You know what I need to see.

I actually think part of the problem is is not compartmentalising your day. So I think one of the things that people make the mistake are doing is first thing in the morning start, like look on Instagram or start thinking about work or whatever straight away. actually you know what I've started doing

I know this sounds a bit like wanky new age or whatever but wake up I mean first of all one of the things I started doing is exercising or getting outside as soon as I wake up pretty much but before that sitting on your bed a couple of deep breasts before you start looking at anything this isn't a major thing by the way someone was telling me about the thing of like

you've got to take those breasts a lot of heart attacks are caused like just getting up and getting on with a day yeah yeah taking a moment just like a little bit of like not engaging with what your day is straight away and just having a bit that helps.

And at the end of the day, just having a bit of debt, like actually, you get, I think it's helpful to go, at this point of the day, I'm not going to be thinking about work anymore. Yeah.

Right? That is done. And then you just, you go, I'm going to, you know, you can work as hard as you want during the day. And at this point,

you're no longer thinking about it. And then you spend the last hour or so, or two hours or whatever, doing like watching TV or reading or whatever, not scrolling. Yeah. And actually getting your, into just chilling out and I think people I do feel like we're guilty of feeling

like we have to be doing something every minute of every day and and look you know this whole fucking Jake Humphrey kind of school of like you've got comfy what the guy used to do football sort of yeah that guy if you said you follow him on Instagram yeah I do yeah by the way can I say Denzel Washington said it said it better just reposted Denzel Washington quote but he's He's like, it's the whole culture of like going, you've got to come up with a vision board for your day, you've got to achieve all these things and then you've got to like fucking, like, you know, doing all this shit every moment of every day. I think we just need to let go of that shit. I mean, do what you've got to do, do your job.

It's amazing what you've done and then stop. And actually, you should make your next development area being able to do nothing or do read or something else because it's not a healthy thing to be thinking about that shit or analyzing. whether you're making the most of your time every minute of every day. It's so boring. It's shit. What does Jay Comfrey's doing now apart from those Instagram videos? High performance.

Yeah, high performance podcast. Have you done that podcast? No. I think they only invite high performers. Yeah. Me and your own. So two people who got lucky on a blag. I know he's going to want a podcast.

No, no. Maybe we should do a low performance podcast. I won't mind that. Accidental performance? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for email. Good luck. Honestly, sorry, before you get into this,

this boobies thing, man. Wait, it's a runner. It's a runner. I've looked at John, we already know there's going to be boobies t-shirts. Have we got time for one more? Yeah. Okay.

The boobies t-shirts for the summer. Summer, summertime, time to look boobies and unwind. Sorry, I'm just reading the beginning. That is very funny, by the way, but I'm just reading the beginning of this next email. What the fuck is going on with this episode? Oh, Jesus. Okay, do you want to read it? Yeah.

This is, hi, Ron and Tom. I was listening to your recent episode about the wolf wanking off a stranger in a pub, I felt it was pertinent to email in. I'm a man in my late 30s and have recently become more emotionally familiar with the idea that I may be bisexual, finding guys more attractive as time goes on. I've never knownly repressed any of these feelings, only that these feelings have arisen later on in life. I've talked to some of my close mates,

all of you think it's a great idea, and I say, give it a go. Although I'm getting closer and closer to a possible sexual encounter with a man, I find myself terrified at a thought of regretting it, possibly due to nearly four decades of social conditioning, or worse still, backing out of it and making them feel rejected or awkward. I've been a prolific shagger over the years, and I'm concerned. Maybe I feel this way just because I want to try something different, like if I'd been an MMA world champ and now I'm moving into boxing for more of a challenge. We all saw how that was. Francis Ingano when he fought

Tyson Furey. I mean, if you did give me a million guesses about where this was going to go. Can I say, but Vartis and Garno had an incredible fight against Tyson Fierre. And I would fuck Francis and Garno in a heartbeat, by the way. Anyway, go on. I'd love to hear your thoughts around this. The Baffled Bear.

Peter, well, it's got me the bear as well as the name. So, Piers, you're both in the inspiration for how you openly talk about yourself, doubt, mental health. Big up yourself, big boys. Wow. It's, can I say that we've been doing this podcast for six years. I've never,

the Pandora's box we've opened with this, this stuff is, yeah, um, right, I, you know what, I think he should go and do it. I think you go and do it.

I think you, you feel like you're open-minded and you want to try new things and I think you'll live to regret if you don't. Sure, yeah. I mean, you're still thinking about the boobie thing, aren't you? No,

I'm just wondering, like, when he started saying, as I'm getting close to a sexual encounter, I started thinking about that must be incredibly nerve wracking. Like you think about if you've only been with the opposite sex

your whole life. Also it's like your first ever kiss, right? How terrible, or first time you made love? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I remember it like it was just before Theo was conceived.

I think it's, yeah, I think there's an element of all. Can I say? Because I think that the element of men in this situation, rather women, is quite awkward. women are a lot more certainly when I was growing up women

I had a girl mate two to a 10 man and went oh last night we were yeah they mess around kissing I mean I'm pretty sure Lisa's fucking snogging a woman right now as we speak that's when I saw in Coeurzum she was very much yeah um I wonder if

I would think about like maybe someone you know quite well I think someone you know quite well who's also feeling the same way maybe I don't think so why because if one of you's into it more than the other one. No, but you just go, this is just an evening experimentation. No, no, no, no, no.

I think that's an awful idea. Like maybe after they've done a podcast record or something. I see what you're getting at? No, no, no. I'm being serious. You don't think that's a good idea? No, no, no, no. Why?

I think it puts an air of, like, you. Sure. Okay, so what's your suggestion? I think you meet someone either online or you go to a bar and you just, and you're quite open about how you, who you are. Well, that was the other thing I was going to say, just be honest. Yeah, I'm, I've never done this before. I'm quite nervous, you know, and just be completely honest with the whole thing.

Very much like from what I remember of the... Oh, role play. Yeah, the role play. Yeah. I think honesty is everything, you know, and it might just be sort of a gentle bit of passioning out. Or just, you know, you might go the whole way. You know, don't put any labels or limits or, you know, just be like, yeah, this is what it is.

And just go with it. But whatever you do, play safe. Yeah, be safe. Be safe. Jurex or any other condom. Yeah, okay. Johnny's. We should actually have Wolf and our condoms.

Hey, why don't you grab yourself a Wolf and Our Johnny? Before you dive into a situation, you might not be ready for. Do you think this conflicts with the Baby Bell sponsorship? Yeah, maybe. Okay, well, that is all we got time for on this particularly lurid episode of Wolfenard. This should probably come with an age. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you so much for listening.

all the wanking and the boobies and the boobies. What, the boobies singer's genius. Hey, friends, by the way, thank you. Thank you so much for sending in your emails and subscribing. You can send any of your email comments into... Wow. Wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That is wolf owl pod at gmowl.com.

We'll see you fuckers next time. This episode has been sponsored by the wolf and our Johnny.