Wolf and Owl - Partner Advice, Phrogging And The Importance Of A Good Curry

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

Would you rather find 10,000 cockroaches or a man living in your loft? On this week’s Wolf & Owl, Tom and Romesh tackle some very important questions, sent in by you, including how to show appreciation and whether there’s anything wrong with a woman proposing to a man. Things take a turn when they debate: would you rather discover 10,000 cockroaches in your loft, or one mysterious man who has secretly been living there for four years? And to help get to the answer, a role-play ensues, where Tom takes on the part of a very questionable phrogger. Plus, the boys discuss what makes a great curry and who’d make the best dinner guests for a curry night out. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 00:00 Intro 00:41 How to show appreciation for your partner 06:17 A side note on curries 08:53 Would You Rather? 10:21 A phrogging sketch 16:10 Should a woman propose? 22:07 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what do you want? Beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer. Just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello and welcome to the Wolf and our email special. We're going to go through some emails for you. Oh, yeah. Wolfelpodgmail.com if you want to send anything in and we would love to deal with it. Today's episode is sponsored by friendship.

Really nice. Should we get into the questions, Tom Do you want to go first? Do you want me to? That's up to here. Should I run this one on? Yeah, go on. Yeah, go for it. Dear Wolf and now, I just want to...

Take your time, take your time. Slower? No, I'm just saying, just relax into it. Dear Wolf and now, I just wanted to start off by saying thank you for your amazing podcast. I started listening early this year when I went on maternity leave. Thank you for keeping me company during the otherwise lonely nights. I wanted your advice and how I can show some appreciation to my husband. He truly is the best husband and father we could ask for.

He works very long shifts, including nice shifts. But despite this, he always prioritises his family. He tries to make sure I have time to myself every day and is so respectful and grateful for the days that I spend a home looking after the baby. We don't have any family nearby, so we are the only support system for each other. And I think this experience has brought out the best in each other and made us a stronger team.

I really want to show my appreciation for him, but the problem is that the best way is physical touch and bedroom antics, which is understandably on pause at the moment. I find it uncomfortable to get up too much when our little baby is in the same room. Do you have any advice on how I can show my appreciation while this preferred method is slightly out of bounds? Thank you very much. The grateful Robin. Very tough and you've got a bar bar in the house, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. Very difficult. I would say as well, I personally think the idea that that is the way of showing your appreciation isn't necessarily... No. I think that, by the sound of this chap, I don't think that he'd be expecting that to be in a way his... It's a picture. Bearing of mind that he sounds like an absolute legend.

I mean, he sounds like an incredible human being. We don't really like emails in about really great partners. Really, really lovely guys. Because it makes us look terrible. I would say, I think just saying to someone, I think in relationships you can go for a long time in your relationship, assuming that someone knows you're grateful, assuming that they know that you're grateful of how much they're doing for you.

And you just kind of, it's the assumptions are made, you've been together a long time, and you're going, I think, you know, the first few months, years of having a little one, are quite demanding on your relationship, quite demanding on you as people individually. But I actually think you can almost get lost a little bit and just actually showing your gratitude for each other.

And I think it's also worth saying that as much as you feel that you want to show him appreciation for everything he's doing, he probably feels the same on the basis that you're doing a lot. And I think it's worth saying you are doing an incredible job as well as a mother and someone who's at home. I think sometimes I think that's the hardest thing

that can get lost a little bit in the basis that you can sometimes feel that your appreciation, you're like, oh wow, yeah, this guy, you know, I'm so blessed that he's doing all this stuff for me. You can lose actually sight of quite how incredible you are as a human being. So I don't think that should lose that

upon yourself. And I think it's actually just spending a little bit of time talking together and talking about how you feel I think, you know, when you've got a baby in the house, I think that side of your relationship can take a bit of a knock. I think that's just natural. But I think also just being, having enough weather or to go, okay, this is just a different stage in our relationship at the moment,

where that isn't on the cards, then actually just to emotionally be there for each other and be there just to talk about those things. And actually, I certainly noticed it with me and Catherine, that another stage of our relationship has grown since having grace, that we try to converse, we try to tell each other, and we try to sort of celebrate our appreciation for each other. I think that's just something it's worth thinking about.

And like I say, recognising yourself for doing an incredible job as a mother, a round of applause. Keep doing what you're doing. I think when you've got a young baby, thinking about how you're going to show your partner appreciation is not on the cards right now. I think you've got your hands full enough as it is.

And you've both had a child. So you both deserve appreciation. Do you know what I mean? You're doing something really, really difficult. It's really hard. You're living from hour to hour. It's really, really difficult. So I wouldn't worry about that for now.

I think what Tom said is right. I think you show gratitude and you make sure you're kind to each other through what is a really challenging time. And then you can both figure out a way to sort of show each other appreciation when you're in a place where you can do that which will be in 18 to 20 years

no just kidding it gets easy before that what seven eight yeah it's it's magical but yeah I wouldn't worry about that for now I think that you're it's great that you two are in such a great place

in what is you know it's really difficult having a kid but I don't think you you haven't got the you haven't got the headspace or the energy to be thinking about how to show a pretty that's not what this is about you're trying to you know figure your way through this as new parents so I think you just need to focus on that and then you know and and and and just be kind to each other in your words and stuff like that and and and he will know that you're appreciative

so don't worry too much about that um or just make him like a really good curry uh okay i've not had a good curry for a while well I haven't either I keep thinking like do you know what I mean like I mean a knockout one yeah yeah yeah It's my neighbour's wife's away on holiday at the moment. She usually makes us the best curries. It's quite difficult. I've got addicted to a carrie, but it's not a restaurant, so I can't go to whenever I want.

You can't make a request. Yeah, it's a lottery. Also, she sometimes cooks amazing curries, then sometimes she'll try something a little bit new. And I'm like, stick to the classics. He's such an amazing guy. He's one of my favorite human beings, this guy. He'll come around and he'll say,

oh, yeah, this, you know, we've got this. And I'm like, oh, this is, yeah, this. It's horrible. Yeah, if you're coming around, is there a menu option? So Moses are incredible. We've not had them for six months. What's the best place to go for a car? Is there like some top notch?

Yeah, well, everyone I speak to tells me that it's the places you, that look like you wouldn't go in them. Yeah. Like where I live nearby, there's like two big areas. And they're like, if you go there, don't go to anywhere that looks like you would go, oh, that's really nice. We're going to go in there. Look for a place that does. that look nice and go, that'll be an amazing curry.

Okay. We should go for a curry soon, please? I'd love to. Sorry, we've gone off the point. You know, by the way, who's a great curry guy to go for a curry with? Jeff Norcott. Why do you say that? I just think he's a nice guy to go for a cave with.

Yeah, he's a nice guy to go for curry. He brings a nice curry energy to him. Well, we went to Bombay Bossa with him, don't we? Yeah, it was lovely. It was great. It was really nice... The reason I hesitate is the last time I went for curry with him. No, it wasn't the last time a few times ago. Yeah.

He had a bit of a shocker recommendation, and he felt really bad about it. quite a while afterwards, yeah. But, you know. He, by the way, because he's someone you could imagine, isn't going to carry that, but he does. He's a very sensitive soul, Jeff.

He is very sensitive. And I love that about him. Yeah. I adore Jeff Norcott. Okay. I'd just say. We should have a Curry Boys night. Yeah.

Jeff Norcott, Josh Whitacom, Rob Beckett, you, me. Yeah. Let's think of him. Catherine Ryan. Catherine Warren would be great. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a great night out. It's a really good night out. Yeah. Do you know who else would be great? great for that. Sheen Connoe. Yeah, great. All right. Why don't we just invite the industry? Well, no, not the industry.

No, but I'm just saying we can, you know. There's people who might pull up to that curry that will see me have the Poppkins and go home. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometres in support of life's saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the mic of emails. Mr. Ramesh,

Rangor Nathan. Uh-uh, turn me up on my headphones. One-two-one-two. One-two-one-two. She might be the most favorite thing you've ever done. Would you rather find 10,000 cockroaches in your loft or one huge, you might be the most. Oh. Love the podcast. Look forward to hearing your thoughts. 10,000 live cockroaches. That's that is number one 10,000 cockroaches are really hard to get rid of it. Horrible. Horrible. Survive a nuclear apocalypse. So hold it's not a dead human is it? Just one human. Yeah, one human. I think without a doubt one human. If you'd if you found out tonight if there's a person in your loft, how would you react? Number one, I'm imagine if he's hiding my loft he's going to have elevated. a story, they are going to have an amazing story, right?

If we, you know, I mean, obviously last episode we had the poo question. So there's an element, I've got out there with a handful of feces. We probably have a handful of feces themselves, aren't they? You've got no idea how they've come to find themselves in your loft? Yeah, but... Are you going to turn up there with a fistful of shit? No, right, I think 10,000 cockroaches. Cockroaches are impossible to get rid of, right?

You've got a hive then. You've probably got four hives, one of cockroaches. One human, we're just taking upon ourselves, think that's a really nasty, mean human. I've not said that. You've said you're going up with a load of shit. No, I'm just saying, yeah, that was my... And by the way, I think of the two of you,

they're going to have more shit in the loft. Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah. Well, it depends how long they've been there. Or they're coming down in the night when you lot have gotten to bed and using your toilet. What, like Toy Story? Yeah. Like, they're just living in the...

Do you ever watch that video? There's a YouTube it isn't there about this in Japanese apartment and the people living in the crawl space? Really? And then they leave a camera, and then they pop out. little grey and then come and help themselves to food. Jesus.

It's quite cool, though, in the way. Don't think so. I don't think it's cool at all. No, it's quite a cool thing to sort of see the first. Oh my God, what? But it's like a horror film when I watch the videos. I mean, I don't even know if they're real, but they look pretty real. So someone, yeah, I don't think it isn't, I think one person living in your loft,

and then you just got to take it. What do you say to them? Well, I can run it if you want. Okay. Who am I the loft person? I'll be the loft guy. Of course you will. Why?

Hello? Hello? Oh, no, you found me. My name's Trevor Lance-a-lot. I've been living in... I've been living up here in your loft for the last four years since you moved in. Um, what are you doing?

I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police. Don't please. please I implore you not to call them before you've heard my story okay stay back stay back I will stay back my lips are parched and dry I haven't had a cup of tea since last eve I'm not going to make you a cup of tea be living in my loft

usually I wait to your sleep and I can hear you slumbering and you've got your this is appalling by the way you've got your teeth What you've done is appalling. You don't know my circumstance. Nay, you don't know my life. What's your story?

I know more about you than you and me. Yeah, of course you're living in my fucking loft. I've seen you. I've seen you angry. I've seen you sad. I've seen you happy. I've seen you sensual. Okay, we can listen.

We can all name dwarves. Can you please tell me what the fuck it is you're doing in my loft? I split up with my wife, Elsie Lancel. Okay, and where did she live in the chimney? She lives three roads away. Okay. We had a blazing row, and I stormed out. And I said, you'll never see me again.

And then it started raining. I had to find somewhere to keep dry. And this place, oh, God, I didn't know what to make of it. It was just before you moved in, it was just a shell almost. So I came up here, and I was living in the shell itself. And when it had different bits of the house, I slept in the bed. You've slept in the beds? Yes.

Well, before you moved in, you know, I just had almost to test them. And that delicious bed, you're a lucky man. And then when all the family started moving, I just got higher and higher in the house until I was in the loft. And I made this my home. I've worn all of your old clothes. Why didn't you leave? Because I couldn't. I became addicted to this house.

But we're out. It's aches and groans. I love it here. It's become my home. What have you? you've been eating? I come down when you're asleep and make myself sandwiches and crisps. Would you, you say you've been stealing for four years from me? Only a little bit. I'm also lucky enough. I'm like you. I'm a vegan. So that's where you're... Where's the lot come in with that?

Well, I don't need any of the boys' food. They're growing lads. Theo's doing so well. Don't talk about my children. Charlie has a voice like a cherub. He sings her fine Ramesh. They're a credit you boy. Okay, I think it wouldn't get that far. Okay. But he's quite a sweet fella. I don't think so. When you said, you wait to hear my story,

the story is I decided to live in your loft. Like, a justification would be you had something horrendous that there's a last resort, but you had an argument with your wife and they'd been living in the loft for four years. Yeah, but it was quite nice, though, I thought I'm quite civil.

Well, I'm saying, that you can't just judge everyone who's living in lofts, but the same token. This guy seems quite a sweet. Actually, you've got more from him in a way than he's got from you, in a sense. In what way? What have I got from him?

Well, he's got this way of looking. Like, if it was a film, you go, like, you're bloody get out. I don't want to talk about it's where you get out and then he goes and then the kids go, Dad, why did you send him away? I actually miss him. Do you know, every now and again,

he used to just like knock a little rhythm into the ceiling and it would help me go to sleep at night. Yeah, exactly, see? Yeah, well, that shit, yeah. So I'm just saying. saying, I think otherwise it's fucking 10,000 cockroaches. They take over your house.

You can't fuck with cockroaches. No. One human is easy. Yeah. And actually, to be fair, if it's a real scary human, they're just going to get bored anyway and probably go away. Go away. What do you mean? Go away? What do you mean? Just leaves your loft. Yeah, whereas cockroaches

they're staying, aren't they? Yeah. Cotroaches roaches once they're in, caught roaches are in. No. So, yeah, I'd say the human. You? I wasn't convinced but now I think human just imagine opening the loft door and seeing 10,000 cockroaches Yeah I'm gonna come at you man

And then by the way they come out of your loft That's a horror movie They take over the whole house 10,000 of them Don't worry about the odd sandwich That the person living in you They're eating everything Computer games

Like beds They don't care There's no everything Everything's edible I don't think cockroaches eat computer games Are they? I'm just like plastic They'll eat anything.

Flowers. Is that true? Yeah. So we're going body? Yeah. Okay. It's just a human, not a body. Like a body, by the way.

Like a fit human body. Yeah. Oh. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21, kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world

free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Hi, Tom and Rom. My partner and I love everything you both do, and the pod is excellent. Anyway, I'm after some advice. My partner and I have been together for two years and have known each other since teenagers. We were bump into each other, but nothing ever happened as he was my brother's mate, and that would have been just weird. I was young but fancied him at the age of 15 and he was 18 and I didn't ever think he'd be interested in me we've moved on but we've randomly now and again see each other again nothing ever happened until two years ago

my brother's wedding he was seeing someone who wasn't there and I was married husband wasn't there when he walked in I saw him and bounced over to him 33 years later I still feel like an excited teenager We got talking and instantly knew I wanted him again. We started seeing each other. I got divorced, moved back home to be with him,

and we never looked back. I'm about to move in with him and finally be where I want to be in my life. Now, I always said to myself, I'd only ever marry him at once, but with him it's different. I want to be his wife and live out our days together. My question is, what's your opinion on the woman proposing to the man? He'll kill me as I know he'll be watching this on YouTube, and possibly I'll be sat with him.

Also, you're invited to the wedding! Yes, if this does a drink. We won't be coming. Lots of love, S. Oh, no, no, that is a story for the ages. That's a beautiful love story. Yes, it is a beautiful love story. That's actually a proper invite to a wedding.

Yeah, but we're not coming. And you know what? We could do that song from Princess Bride. Oh, my love, I'll tell you a tale of a boy and girl, and their love story that would be amazing right and then you come out and do a little rap to it yo love is really cool

look who's having themselves a little wedding my name's Ramesh and I'm here to say congratulations on your special day oh my love I'll tell you a tale boy and they're love story love story

love story can be cute Oh, so much So much She became obsessed Oh mate I actually feel so buoyed by this What a beautiful tale Listen, I'm going to say now

I think I don't think there should be a stigma around No, who gives a shit I think there's actually something pretty amazing About you turning around and saying Yo Yo! Yow! Let's get this on

Yo! Do you know what I do is actually do it like that? I think that would be the matter. If I was going to propose again to Catherine, I would literally get on one day and go, yo, let's get this a whole one. What was the sound?

That was the ring coming out. Oh, I see it, because it sounded a lot like Spider-Man. Which was the Spider-Man? Just the ring hanging to a lank bit of fucking party street. I think it's a beautiful thing. Yeah.

I don't think it matters who proposes. I don't think it matters. classicists out there funny d'allies but I really don't think him as but I generally think actually you're doing it so what do you

what do you say to him directly he might be watching now so I mean look if he knows that this is him which he might I mean it's a pretty specific story isn't it let's let's let it together at the same time what we want to know is

are you ready to do this are you prepared to go the whole hog but now we're proposing will you Oh my love Please Do us the honour Of marrying

What do you say? What do you say? I'm really thinking of doing a cover in that song Yeah I feel like you've got it in the locker summer Yeah I'm obsessed with that, actually Yeah so good luck Yeah I mean look

Do you know what This goes the right way We go in We go like would you be out for it? To go to the wedding Yeah no Why? these two have been through a journey with us sure but I don't think we should

what if we can DJ at it no even worse just turn me off the top of your head like say we're at the wedding yeah we start our DJ set first song first song we're gonna do yeah oh my love oh no no you got to get something to get the dance floor going yeah just yeah but that's where you'll come in I'll be mr ballads later on you'll be up there You could be like in like a, I don't know, like a track suit, like a wedding, yeah, one of those wedding t-shirts, like a... Oh, the tuxedo t-shirts. Yeah, yeah.

Cool pair trousers, probably some trainers. Yeah. And you'll do, like, everyone's pumping. And then I come on and knock some ballots out in the evening. We do like a little crossover. Nice. Yeah, and then we'll probably have a couple of drinks, slice of wedding cake each.

They'll probably do it a vegan one if you say you were coming. Maybe that would be terrible if there was a bit of cake for you, like a vegan cake. Anyone, we're not going. But can I say, well, I know you so well now, right? I do know you well enough to know that there's a little bit in you there. It was kind of excited about that as an evening. No. I don't think it would be good for them.

I don't think it would be good for them. I don't think it would be great for everyone involved. I think it's a real positive. Okay, well, look, if you guys, if while we've been doing this talk bit, you've realized that it's each other and now you've agreed to get married. Tom is coming. I sadly will not be coming to your way. Can I say, send a picture.

of you, wherever you are watching this together. If you then get engaged, send a picture of you. You know, smiling, beaming. Yeah. Yeah. And winning invite, please, because Tom's coming. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening and watching to another episode of Wolf and Al. Please could you

like and subscribe if you haven't done. If you're watching this and you've not liked and subscribed, we're pissed off with you. Yeah, no, but seriously, like, subscribe and become a part of the tribe. Send your emails to Wolfoutapod at gmo.com. We love hearing from you and we're desperate for content.

Thank you. Oh, my love. I'll tell you a tale. All right, fun. Do you know what? Do you know what, Tom, I'll come to the wedding. All right. Yay!

All right. See you there. Take care. Two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret

Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca.