Wolf and Owl - Plastic Surgery, Toilet Drama And Dental Nightmares

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Would Tom get a hair transplant? Would Rom get cosmetic work done? And is lending your mates money ever actually a good idea? On this week’s episode, the boys get into childhood films that shaped them, questionable fashion choices, pub stories and they tackle the age-old question of whether you should lend mates money. There’s also a trip down memory lane as Rom and Tom revisit an old photo of themselves, plus a deep dive into dental trauma. Don't forget to sign up to our Instagram broadcast channel for Wolf & Owl updates and keep sending your questions, dilemmas and voice notes to us at [e-mail]. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. Chapters 00:00 Intro 00:40 On excitement 05:45 Opinions on movies 12:27 Would the guys get work done? 13:10 A Tom & Rom throwback 14:39 Are moustache’s sexy? 15:26 Tom’s hero story 20:52 Why Tom stopped drinking 23:53 Rom’s dentist trauma 27:18 Lending mates money 35:11 Tom’s fashion faux pas 44:04 Tom’s poetic outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The owl has got your essence. What does that mean? He's just got this cool, calm, collected, sort of like, don't mess with me kind of vibe. And sort of your eyebrows as well. What I'm really happy about is they didn't just make this eyebrow go across their eye. Yeah. Do you know how many people do that when they send pictures of us?

What? They like putting a... Yeah, the eye. Yeah, I don't think it's nice. No, it's nice. No, it's nice. Just kidding. Every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

Anyway, so here we are. Very nice, man. Very good. Are you excited? Very excited. I have this weird thing with excitement. I don't know how to deal with it. I'll be honestly.

It looks like you're dealing with it pretty fine. No, no. But I feel like it's like when something really nice happens, you worry that it's not going to be over. Yeah. You know, like, it's not when you get a nice cake. You don't want to eat it for a while because you worry about just having the crumbs left on the box. Can I tell you a really sad story?

Oh. So when I was a kid What are you laughing at? So when I was a kid I was desperate for a television I was quite a sport as a kid I begged to make... You've actually really... You carry that energy

into being erode in some ways. Being spoiled? Yeah. Do you think so? There's a vibe. Well no, it's just like, I'm going to get what I want. Like, you know, the little girl out of Willie Wonka on a Charlie Factory,

Charlie Factory. Violet Borough? Yeah, yeah. Do you think I've got a violet energy? You've got a violet in you? Yeah. Okay, so anyway, so I'd be begging for a TV. Eventually, my parents relented, got me a TV,

and they put it up on, like, a gym of those sort of arms that come out there. Wow, that's bougie. No, but it's not really. What we're talking about, like, 1988, 86? 88. 88? 88, yeah. So you've been 14?

Why are you doing this? Sorry, it's only time I'm really good at maths. Yeah. So, anyway, I had the TV. I was really into raisins raisins what are food raisins what's the other option

well by the way raisins were big characters when we were kids because they had that little advert didn't they? Yeah I heard it through the Gravein yeah yeah I'm not into I wasn't into them

if that's the other option so you're lying there so you're 88 you're 9 right 10 yeah right and you're lying there just scoffing back raisins looking at the TV on it But TV's on the arms. That is bougie back then.

No, not, it's like a real cheap, like, like, um, it doesn't, I'm making it sound bougier than it is. It's not bougie. You're not boogey. It's like it looks. You're talking to the TV back. No, but it's like a, I'm not having an actual full size. It's like a little portable TV.

Yeah. And then it's on like a little arm that my dad had screwed into the wall. Like a little hinge thing. Oh, okay. It doesn't look bougie. No, that looks. I'll be honest with you, if I used a word for it, in cell. Right.

Right. So I had that arm and I was, and I had a, and my mum had bought me a big tub of raisins. Right. And I was lying in bed. Yeah. TV there. I was watching a film. Yeah.

Just up in my room. Right. So the first, early days of watching, not having to be in the liver room to watch TV, right? For me. You're 10. Yeah. Sitting, eating the raisins, watching a film. And I was so, this is such a sad story.

I'm so happy that I'm watching. a film eating raisins in my own room that I started to think life can't be like this forever and I started crying. Jesus, I had no idea. Can you? That's so bleak. Thankfully, nobody came to speak to me because if I would say like Charlie, my youngest is about that age now, right?

Yeah. If I saw him crying in his room and I went up to him and I went, mate, you're okay, what's up, I just don't know if life's always going to be as happy as this. I would have, I would fucking call somebody. I cry myself. If I went to, number one, can I decide? I don't think I've really ever had a moment like that. What you mean?

This is it. By the way, that could have been, you know, like that, the pursuit of happiness. Yeah. That could have been it for you. That was the, I mean, obviously you've had great time since. I don't know. If you're talking about, like, you know, people talk about happiness index. What was the film, by the way?

I don't want to talk about what the film was. Basic instincts? No. Okay. I'm just saying. No, it wasn't basic instinct. What made you go to basic instinct? Just the way that you didn't want to talk about it.

Oh, it was fistful of dollars. I was really into westerns. Really? You're just massively in a Clint Eastwood. I love Clint Eastwood films when I was about that age. Really? What, VHS? It was just on?

I think it must have been on. I didn't have a video. Wow. Good. I never thought you would be... It's that quite a dark story, isn't it? The ingredients of it, a kid eating some raisins, watching a western film, that sounds like quite a light story.

A fistful of dollars. You do a little bit of scratch it beneath the server is actually incredibly dark and horrible. Which is the fish full of dollars? What happens in that one? Isn't that with... This is really... I think the bad guy's called Ramon in Fistful of Dollars. You could play Ramon now.

Well, it's funny to say that, Tom. so I liked that film so much my dad started calling me Ramon wow like just around the house but then obviously he got into such a habit of calling me Ramon that one day came to pick me up from school

and he said Romant and then obviously I got absolutely fucking hammered did you used to talk about your agulation and like for Western films in school? Publicly no was it Mucky I like Westerns as a kid though

yeah I don't know I sort of kept my opinions to myself about stuff like that. Really? I think I'm opinionated now. Now? Yeah. Do you think I'm opinionated?

Well, you have opinions and you let it out. So does everybody. Yeah, no, no. But I don't think I'm that front-footed about my opinions. No, no, I wouldn't. But I would say that I always thought you'd be the little boy at school who'd be like, you know, I love westerns and all that. But there'd be a conversation of someone going, hey man, does anybody who's seen back to the future? And you're like, have you seen fish for the dollars?

Where am I at school, first of all? Huh? Hey, man. Where is his school? In Crawley. Right. It's just one kid who's just probably like... By the way,

don't fucking make it like I wasn't into Back to the Future. No, look, I'm probably... Star Wars. I went in a bit passionate on that. Star Wars. You didn't like Star Wars, did you? I didn't like Star Wars, I just found it a bit one note at times. Star Wars is one note.

How is it one note? Because the good guys are like so fucking prevalent and so like... At times I'm like, I actually even give to a storecharts... Can I tell you something? This is another perfect... example of you just deciding on an opinion. You've walked into the opinion shop and you've taken, you've gone,

have you got the good guys are too prevalent in Star Wars opinion? I'll take that. You've got no backup arguments. There's nothing. We know nothing of the stormtroopers and where they're from. And actually there's quite a lot of information that would suggest a lot of them are probably sort of like get jobs of stormtroopers. They're not particularly well treated.

It's like there's a part of me and goes, actually I want to know a little bit about them and what's going on behind the scenes. like as a storm trooper I mean that happens in later films really? Yeah yeah but it's good guys being storm troopers

it's sort of like you know handsome cool ones at no point is it you know suggested that there's any good guys or bad guys there's the empire and there's the rebellion

oh come on who are the good guys who are the bad guys that's up to you to decide so does anyone who sat there I grew up thinking Darth Vader's got a point why

just you know you need to squash what you're doing now is you're being a little rascal you've been very Ramon. No one's watching that going, oh, poor old Daff. Yeah. I do actually think it's very like, sort of like emasculate

when they pull off his mask at the end. You're masculating? I don't know if emasculating is a right world, but it's very like, just do it in private, mate. Well, he, what do you mean? He is in private? He's, by the way, do you think Star Wars is a documentary? No.

It's just him and he leaves in there for everyone to see like that, right? Or did he throw him out the back of the, um, the vessel? The vessel? No, no. It's a very private moment. I always thought there was other people here. He doesn't fucking chop his head off and put it on display. Does he take him back to the bonfire that they all have?

The bonfire? The party there for the Ewoks. What's going on? No. That's on another planet, by the way. Does he take his dad back? His ghost turns up, doesn't he? Oh, I always thought he took his dad back there and showed everyone.

I don't know. I haven't watched that film for probably 20 years. I always thought he turned back out. I've not watched it for a while, but I'm sorry. He turned at the big bonfire. a dark web version of it. I mean, what about the bit where, like, layers do reverse cowgirl on Luke?

No, but when they turn up, I always thought it was like, hey, everybody, look at this. Sorry, your recollection of that scene is that Luke turns up with the body of his father and frees him on the fucking bonfire in front of the E-Wont. I thought that's what happened. He turned up and everyone was like, have you killed Darth Vader?

He's like, yeah, I got him. And then he threw him on the, but he's also my father. And he was your dad as well. Well. That sort of thing is dangerous to me because you vividly that's what your recollection was.

Yeah, yeah. I haven't watched it for years. Yeah. Anyway, why did you talk about Star Wars? Oh yeah, because you're talking about it. Yeah, yeah. It feels like that's the thing most of the kids like in your class

would have been watching rather than Fis Fidel of Dollars. But actually, you're quite highbrow as a kid. Why? Well, Fitzford of Dollars. Yeah, it's just a West's cowboy film, isn't it? It's actually, I think it's an Oscar-winning movie,

if I'm honest. What were you into at 10? well ironically probably Star, like back to the future, Team Wolf like I liked a movie even still do like where you know sort of like the underdog comes well

yeah and sort of you know you could watch it stuff like set around the school where I always still to this day have that sort of in a house I always used to hope that something you'd be that sort of smelly sort of outclass kid

and then all of something that dream was easy to achieve wasn't it and then what was the other thing? It goes so easily No, but one day that people would find you cool And so, you know, like, have you ever seen Greece 2? That's probably my favorite film.

That's a good film. I had loved Greece too. That thing of like coming good and suddenly everybody thinks you're cool. It's intoxicating story. I used to imagine that. I remember I used to like wear, oh, this is so sad. But it's to wear like quite a cool t-shirts to bed when I was a kid because in my head like one day like, I don't know,

all of the kids would be demanded to come out in the middle of the night and like meet up. And then, oh my God, rummash you, you wear that to bed and I'm like, yeah, man. Wow, that's, to be fair. Was that a psychopath? I had a weird thing for quite a while where, as an adult, I used to sort of, just in case the house got broken into,

like wear sort of clothes that made me look sort of, like, you know, quite cool. To bed? Yeah. Like, if the house got broken into, that's why I never sleep naked. Because I don't want to confront a burglar and I'm naked. Right. And there's a moment where, it's terrifying and then he just laughs.

Yeah. I don't think I look threatening naked. I look straight away. Who looks threatening naked, do you think? I think if you've got a six-pack and a big dick, you look thrilling. I think the rock would look quite. I think if he's a rotten,

if he broke into the rock's house and he came out and he went, what the fuck you're doing? It's more like the me going to do. There's a gut. It's all hairy. I look like it's literally the sort of missing link between man and ape. Yeah, but I think that's more frightening because you know what they're going to do.

What? Like if the rock comes out What do you do? Just throw a fucking car at the guiser Like you know Wow that's such a stand-up joke But I'm just saying

Like No if you're Are you telling me right Oh okay I even think if you rub David Beckham's house And he was naked He'd like you know

Not terrified You just got it all together And there's a standoff Walked up But naked What are you doing You'd be terrified He probably wouldn't say

Oh by the way I think his voice Has become more manly And I feel like He's got a more like Husk to him now Have you seen what he's done into his face?

No, no, he's had it like, oh yeah, no, but he's had like fillers and shit. Yeah.

Would you have plastic surgery? No. Ever? No. But you've told me that you'd have hair plugs.

I've thought about hair plugs, that's different, but then I would... How is it different? Oh, he's had hair plugs, I think. Beckham?

Yeah, if you look at the air plugs. Have you had hair plugs? No, I've not got hair plugs, but I would consider, I would consider it, look, can you see here? Oh, my heart please for you.

You got a millimeter? Look, I've literally, It's all gone. Everything. There's nothing. Do you know what you could get? Have you considered getting stubble tatted on?

Like Cushie Bank, do you know? Has he? I think that's what he's got, yeah. Okay. Have you thought about... No, because I think that would look awful. By the way, I've just been doing that, you know, 2016 thing that people are doing

where people look, 10 years later, it's an Instagram. Yeah, I've actually been sent a photo. This is 10 years ago. Yeah. Yeah. So I didn't know about this 2016. Yeah.

Charlie Baker sent a photo to me from 2016. I'm not going to tell you anything about this photo. I just want to see what your reaction is. You ready? Yeah. It's actually quite sweet. You look like you're in like a 90s American sitcom. Tom, look at me.

Can I say you're in two of mine for 2016? And they're actually two of my favorite photos in my life. So 2016, weirdly, is kind of the birth of the wolf and out in some senses. Why? I think I did hip-hop stage you. life in 2016. Yeah. Oh no, I know this photo.

This is actually a really lovely photo of us. I think that's a beautiful photo of us. That was, we did this podcast together. So that's 10 years ago. And then also that year, we did the comedy store together. Yeah. You're really, really supportive. You were so sweet.

And this is actually generally one of my favorite pictures. I think that's a really sweet picture of us. Oh, gosh. If it's sons off our relationship. Look how happy I am to be there. That should be in the Daily Mail and the caption is they did both end up dying virgin. If it's a choice to be looking like that

and looking like how I look now. I think you look good now. You know, I got so accustomed to you with the beard and enjoyed the beard, love the beard, love the beard years. Yeah, you didn't mind it on your thighs, did you? And now I look at you. I don't know, it feels like you've, I don't know, you've progressed into this guy who's been brave enough

to have this moustache. Brave's not a... Yeah, but I had it with a bit of stubborn. I'm saying brave and I'm like making you out to be like, you know. Like a fireman. Yeah. By the way, fireman. I think I talked about him before.

Here before. I was in Cambridge. I met this fireman. He had a moustache. He was a sexist guy. This is when you got stuck in the Traveloch toilet? No. I have been stuck in the toilet.

I did. I'll be unsurprised. What happened? Did I hear it tell you about when I had to retrieve that person from the, I broke, I got some of out of a toilet cubicle. No. I was in a pub a few years ago. I went for a wee was washing my hands

and this voice was like help help help I'm stuck in the toilet and I was like okay let me Are you the only one in the pub? Yeah at this point No not in the pub There's other people

I was only one in the toilet Oh sorry right So I got to the door And it was like What's your name? Are you okay? And they're like Martin

I was like it wasn't Martin By the way Absolutely Why the fuck you're asking him his name Have you never said The first thing you have to do Is find someone's name in any kind of distress.

It's not a distress. He's locked in a toilet cubicle. He's distressed. He's locked in the toilet cubicle. You know what's happening at. It could be his daughter's birthday. They're about saying happy birthday. I just think you're approaching it like you've seen someone on a ledge.

Right? Like he's just, he can't get out of toilet cubicle. He can't get out of the toilet cubicle. I don't know how long he's been there. He's just pracked up the courage to say something. Okay, fine. Right.

Fine. So I'm like, Martin, are you okay, mate? You're all right. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I can't get out. I'm stuck. I can't get out. the thing one with the lock and the door, I can't get out.

So I was like, let me... Direct quote. Well, yeah, something like, I'm a few years ago and I was drunk. And I was like, okay, let me try and get out. So I said, Mike, how far back can you stand from the toilet door? And he was like, I'm quite a big chap. I'm just, you know, struggling to get too far back. I went, the only way...

That is a smart question, by the way. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. Right. I went, the only way I'm going to do this is... It's quite pretty horrible. I just saw your face display a little bit of pride there off the back of the compliment. But anyway, carry on. So I'm like, why.

Thank you. I turn around and I'm like, a couple of big kicks should see this door go through. Right. Okay. So I give it two bigons, two big kicks. You know, like Hulk Hogan size sort of kicks. Yeah. Big foot kicks.

And it won't budge. And I'm like, fucking I just do it. I said, Martin, we've got a bloody, we got one here, mate. This door, giving it two. kicks. He said I heard them. They're big kicks. By now, there's a few more people. Am I listening to a true story? Yeah. I swear. More people have turned up now, right?

Why? Because they're going to the toilet. I can't close the toilet off. I wish I had. There's more people here and I'm like, you know, I'm telling everyone, this is Martin. He's stuck in the toilet trying to get him out. So now I'm going to have to go for a full shoulder barge. I literally run at the door with all of my pace. I smash through the door, clear my, like push kind of like, push kind of like, past Martin as I come through and nearly full face first into Martin's shit. And he hasn't flushed the toilet.

Sorry, who's trying to leave a toilet before flushing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not, no fucking, I'm, he's not, he's not, he's not, I'm not, you know, the toilet, he can't get out of the toilet, before you flush the fucking thing. By the way, I don't know what, you know, how many pub toilets you've been in, the flushes gone? Uh, 17. I'm not supposed to know the answer to that question. loads of torches you go

and the flush isn't working. Yeah, okay. So the flush might not be working. Mine, fine, right, fine. No, do you know what? I've come into this quite punchy. Yeah,

and you've got a punchy air about you today. And you're absolutely right. Right. And also, by the way, at this point, I'm like there, because I've gone through such veracity through the door.

Martin's, by the way, being clumped by the door and he's quite, you know, and I'm sort of squeezed up. Was there toilet tissue in there? Yeah, yeah, he wiped his bum. Okay, yeah. Yeah.

And I think he'd also watch his bum and done that thing where you're like, you know, almost like in a Darth Vader way left the little cut of the bits of toilet roll just on the top to almost disguise it that didn't look like it had been... Because I got quite... They didn't look like you...

I'm just trying to figure out why that's called the Darth Vader thing. No! You know, like in a film when someone dies and they pull like a little rug over them or something. Yeah, okay. But I don't think that it's for the turd's dignity. No. So other people haven't got to see a dead body stroke. Right. Okay.

Right. So now, like, tried to get up and I went, bloody all, Martin. And yeah. And then what did he say? He was quite thankful. We're quite tight up together. I have to go out. And then I sort of did a thing like he came out.

I sort of made a joke with him about washing his hands. I'll wash mine as well. And then I did a thing later on. This was back with the day where I was a bit more, I'd have a few drinks of me. And I used to try to have a laugh. and now sort of I thought that. And now I know, yeah.

What's happening? Martin then went back to the people who was drinking with his family. Right. And he was, yeah. And I would go over every now and again. I know this is going to be so tragic. Because I was sort of drinking with just a couple of mates.

You know, like, if you ever been in a pub where you drink with a couple of people. No. And conversation has become a bit dry because you drink with the same people every night. Martin and his family became like almost my new playground, right? so I'd go over to Martin and he'd be sitting with his family and I go, oh, watch this one

if he'd probably tries to go to the toilet again he got himself off-law oh god I can't even say it I feel dirty you got himself locked to that whole cuba wouldn't you Martin and he'd go

he go yeah yeah thanks for sorting that out and I'd just go bloody watch him and then I'd sort of try to make a few jokes in front of what just that sometimes at Martin's expense sort of this is so sad man this is why

one of the reason I gave up drinking was that I used to sort of finally one of my favorite tricks when I used to drink was always like I'd find a group of people

and go up and go hello mate how are you and then the person and go oh I they wouldn't know who I was

so I'd then spend the whole night just going oh do you remember pop pop and then it goes yeah yeah yeah

Tom Tom Tom Tom we were you turning up to the pub on your own and doing this? I used to go to the pub on my own quite a long. It's so

tragic. Arguably more tragic than you watching a fistful of dollars of raisins, but yeah, I used to... So what you do, you go, I'm just going to go at the pub on my own and then latch on to a group. I wouldn't go, I'm going to go to the pub on my own. I go, I was on my own. I didn't have a relationship at a time.

Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, there's no difference in what we're both saying. I didn't go, I'm going to go out of the pub on my own. I just go and just pop on my own. It's the same fucking thing. You went to the pub on your own. The way I saw it is the bar's fucking honestly tragic. Oh.

I didn't think this was this tragic until I'm about to say it out loud. The most surprisingly about the story is that you did not think it was tragic up until now. A lot of the time. By the way, I don't think there's anything tragic about going to the pub in your own. No, I don't. It's the other stuff. It's the stuff that you're doing when you get there. No, because my thought process was like,

I know most of the bar staff, so I'm never actually on. my own. I'd always have a chat with them. So I'd sort of turn up and, yeah, I'd sort of, by the end, I'd go to the pub every night of the week. I was living on my own at a time, or living with a mate. And I'd quite often sort of know people's row as I pop, is Kev not working tonight? Hello, mate, yeah. Oh, you're new here, new face, and then try to, I'd, I'd should take a lot of pride in being a local and a lot of different pubs. Yeah. I've got to be honest with you, when you initially started tell that story, I thought it's sad. Not sad.

Pathetic. Not pathetic. But I used to do the thing as I'm part of the furniture. But think about it. If we look at it like from a caring point of view. Yeah. You were living on your own. Yeah. You wanted a bit of company.

Yeah. You went down to the pub. Yeah. And the staff would like be, you know, it's quite sweet. One of my favourite people to do. What I used to love is the different people you'd meet and drink with. There's a guy called Martin No Pence. He used to sort of, he was the first person I ever knew that went

commander. Like, legitimately. didn't wear any underpants. It's a shame for Martin. So you were good friends with him? I knew him. I knew well enough. So you know this guy Martin.

And he has this thing where he doesn't wear any underwear. And he thinks, I wonder what my nickname would be. Commando. Raw Dog. No. Martin, no pants. When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works.

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Plus, that signature, wait, for this price, moment. Old Navy's drapey denim wide leg. What else is going on in your life? Well, what else is going on in my life? And I'm slightly nervous to say this because I've got to be honest with you, I think I've come into this in quite a bit. I've just been to the dentist. Yeah, you've had a dentist actually. And I had quite a traumatic episode at the dentist.

like where they were like you know if you imagine this is like the side of my mouth they had to really get in there yeah you know when they really like yeah and like they're really like this bit of your mouth yeah and like they're trying to get to the yeah yeah well you've got jails as well

no no I'm just saying yeah of course yeah yeah yeah but like you know when they're like really wrenching and trying to get in there so I've had quite and I feel like it's affected my it's made me a bit spiky do you not think yeah of course I'd just take a painkiller when I left because I said you're going to feel some residual

kind of ache by the way like you had invisible I done right your teeth look beautiful You still have been to, you've got to a dentist, you've had so many problems. Well, actually, this is not something I've admitted publicly, but one of the major problems has been completely of my own doing. What's the case? So, basically, this is quite embarrassing, actually.

I had, like, an issue with my teeth, like, up here, and I needed to have, like, a crown put on it or whatever. And so they had to, like, you know, I've got to, a problem we going to the dentist. Yeah, hence a gentle dentist. Yeah. Shout to me. So I had like a temporary,

temporary thing put on. Yeah. And the temporary thing's supposed to last two weeks until the actual crown comes back. Right. And then they fit the actual proper crown. So I had the temporary thing put on. And then I didn't go back for three years.

What? You've had that? Don't they go monkey in brought? No, they don't go monkey. But they, but what happens is, is they've like prepared it to be like properly protected.

Yeah, they put a temporary thing on there. then I've used that like it's a permanent thing and then I made the problem worse. Oh my God. So basically the reason I've had to go back is my own doing. So is it done now?

Are you still? Mate, I've literally just had my last treatment. Wow. I'm just, I'm hygienist and nothing, baby. Is that though? Because the trouble is dental-wise. I mean, your teeth look amazing. Do you think so?

Yeah, that's nice. All completely veneered now. Can you tell? Veneers? Yeah. I didn't think, I thought it was envisaline. No. So you've got those horrible little.

And they shave the, yeah. Oh, they're the worst, by the way. What? I'm just, mate, I'm just saddened them done. My mate's got those, and he's three of his front teeth have fallen out, and now he can't me want to get it done. She hasn't got the money. He's just got three nubs where his teeth used to be.

Yeah, because they have to shave it down, don't they? Yeah. But he hasn't got the money to repeat. He was doing all right, tracking on through life, had all his teeth done with the nubs. His three of these teeth are falling out, and now he's really struggling. How close to you with them? We're not close enough from paying for three teeth. Why not?

Somebody you know He's got nubs Can I say but I've already Lented money before And never got it back Well I wouldn't say I wouldn't call this a loan Then if that makes you feel better

Oh no I'm not for his teeth Sorry yeah I'm not paying for his teeth There's a guy you know He's a mate of yours Walking around with that front teeth Do you know I've had

Bits and bobs You know It's like losing hair right It's actually sort of It's the maketh of the man I don't think having missing Front teeth is the makeeth of the man No he's like this one

It's got that one That one That's front That one That's front I mean it's I mean, you're getting more and more front. It's three fronts.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've lent him money. You didn't pay me back. I lent him money like three years ago. I never paid me back. And in that time, he had his teeth done.

Went to Turkey. He had other stuff done. Yeah. He used to quite the vibrant lifestyle. And now literally is in a situation where I'm going to lend him more money. Has he asked you for the money? Well, he's hinted at it. Right.

What did he say? How did he hint? Well, we've been out. Imagine I'm Tom Davis. And you're... Where are we? Let's say we are at the bowling alley Okay, bowling alley

Yeah We decided to not meet up We wanted to do something different Because we keep going out for drink You don't drink Yeah He drinks by the way It's really his last street

Of his teeth Well you said it's the veneers thing Yeah, it's veneers All right fine So we're at the bowling alley Okay We're next to each other on the thing And like, I don't know

Oh Tom, nice strike You're the best bowler I've ever seen Thanks man folks Yeah, yeah, nice one. Yeah, it's difficult. You're looking good as well. Looking nice. Thanks, man.

Appreciate it. Thanks so much. It's, you know, it's in a world where things get more and more difficult. You can only hope that your sartorial kind of influence can help make things a little bit happier for people. You know, often I will be walking along the road and someone will see me in a new jacket or something. And I think, do you know what? I've made their day a little bit better. So a lot of people consider sort of dressing well a thing that affects you.

but I often consider it something that affects everyone around you. You know, sometimes you might walk into a sandwich shop and somebody sees you walk past and they go, do you know what? I came in here for a little bit of crust. Now I've got myself a little bit of self-esteem. Thanks to that fellow right there.

Do you know what? I think I might buy myself a jacket like that and I might feel better about myself. So in many ways, you consider it me attiring myself with the vestments of somebody that's successful. But actually what I'm doing is enabling other people to be more successful in their own existences.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. It's a car long story short. By the way, while you were talking, I went and got a couple of drinks. I didn't miss here at everything that you said. Wow, it's incredibly rude. Oh, God, it's going to be so painful drinking this ice cold Coca-Cola with three teeth missing. Do you need a straw? No, no, no, no, no, it should be fine.

Stupid teeth, what was I even thinking? Yeah, why did you get veneers, mate? Well, I don't know, you'd probably be able to put it better than me because you're brighter and more intelligent, but, um, hmm. What made you get veneers? Oh, we remember how bad my teeth used to be? No.

Well, they were terrible. Right. Yeah. I didn't have a toothbrush until I was 14, so. And then, um, basically, I just had no... Great birthday, that, haven't it? Yeah, it was. Actually, it wasn't my birthday. It was when my dad got out of prison. When your dad got your, got out of prison, he bought you a toothbrush? No, he did the only thing he brought back from prison.

Okay, where do you think that had been? I'm not sure, but one end of it was really sharp. The other end smelled like someone's anus, I imagine. Yeah, weirdly, so, actually. Yeah, so, but they say you'll never get those first years of cleaning your teeth back. I don't know if I'm holding this glass. And, yeah, so my teeth were, they never stood a chance, really. And then I got those veneers, Dan felt really good about myself.

Yeah, I can imagine you'd know, great veneer. I mean, I did say to you, they've got to take some of the enamel down, and there's health repercussion and often say to people, you know, vanity be your master. Can I borrow a thousand pounds to have my two three done? Can I borrow a thousand pounds

have my two three done, please? Well, listen, I'll tell you this. You know, we struggle, we toil. I don't know if I ever mentioned it, I don't know if I mentioned it this afternoon. I certainly do talk about it all the time, but I used to be a scaffolder. And used to work on a site.

Is that how much it'll cost? So, Emily said it would be a grand, yeah. He was telling someone else. How close are you to giving him that money? I'm not close. Like, genuinely, I lent him money before. Yeah. Because he was in a bit of a dire strait.

Yeah, he was going for a bit of a tough time. I lent him money. We spoke. I'm like, here we go. And this is a loan. Do you know what I've got enough money that I could just freely give it to people? Yeah, sure. And then when he was doing really well for himself,

I'd be out of him and he'd be buying drinks and he'd be in... Did you ever mention it at that point? But then it's awkward, isn't it? He's in designer clothes, head to toe, driving a brand new motor. So it's awkward then to just turn around and go, oh, what, all of you? So it was sort of very, it was very frivolous with his money. Yeah, I'm sorry about that, mate. Yeah, well, that is what it is.

But now, you know, it's maybe a metaphor for life. In what way? Well, like, don't always... It's the grasshopper and the ant, isn't it? Is it teeth? What? The ant's missing some teeth? No, isn't the thing where, like, isn't this story of the grasshopper and the ant?

Can we look up the grasshopper and the ant? please. It's like, do you know ESOP's Fables? No. What's Aesop's Fables? You got so theatrary these days.

I'm not theatre. Esop's Fables is like... What's the grasshopper on the end? The ant and the grasshopper, there you go. The Fables describes how a hungry grasshopper

begs for food from an ant when winter comes and is refused. I've not really gone into the whole story. Anyway, one of them works through the, one of them stores food during the summer

and the grasshop is fucking around. Yeah. And the ants like picking up stuff and putting it in like a store and the grasshop's going oh you sad little c-y

like why don't you just enjoy yourself yeah the out's going to just put some stuff together and then the grasshop's going fucking dickhead and then it gets to winter and he's got no aunt's got shit loads of stuff

you're the ant yeah probably so I was also by the way the grasshopper before in my life so yeah yeah but I'm not in a situation now I'm giving this guy money no but you could do you're doing really well

I'm not doing well enough that I can stop paying I mean look you know you got a nice house look do you know what happened you're so worried that I was going to like pull out your tax return or something you fucking knocked the statue

you've been in films you're in sitcoms this is doing all right as you can tell that didn't come cheap right yeah you're on tour but also I don't

we don't know about any days I'm not I'm not good if I'm going to lend someone of money and help them out it's going to be someone I look and go oh you know what they look after me if I went for a tough time. Well, I don't think that's the way you should give.

Really? So you don't think, if I look at it and go, okay, I've given this guy money. He didn't look after him. He's not... He's fritted it away. He's fritted it away.

He's fritted it away. Also fritted a lot of other money away, right? And then I'm going to go back in and give him more money. And then when he does well again, which inevitably will. He's one of those people who very much, he's a roller coaster kind of guy. He's a Ronan Keaton. He's up and down.

right he's not going to then go when he's got his new teeth he's not going to go oh remember every time he looks in the mirror and going actually it was tommy sort of me out these tough pressure that's not the reason you do it the reason you do it is to repair his teeth no but also yeah but you do that yeah but you do that you yeah but you do that once and then if you let someone money yeah if i went here we go here we go here's this yeah this is a gift for me to you or if he went can you can you give this to me can i have this yeah and i went there ago. But he was like, I'll sort you out when I've got it, I'll sort you out. And then to always

when you're out to see them showing off and then never once go, oh, I've got you for that thing. I won't forget that. I don't do it for that, but I do find it as a thing of... Right. No, no judgment here, but I get it. You know, if the guy doesn't thank you or whatever.

It's not, no, not thanking me. It's the fact that he's not... He's not remembering it. No, I get it. He's not remembering. He's not paying back. He's not going. Oh, here by the way. You've just had a kid. Oh, I get it. And I'm like, not necessarily. It's the time. I'm doing that well for myself. No. So up and downs this game, baby.

No, I get it. I get it. That's fine. Yeah, well, it's about that time, Tom, for you. Okay. Actually, before we do get into, I'm really sorry to do this, but before we do get into this, we digress from what I wanted to talk about.

Yeah, okay. You're wearing James? Yeah. I can't think of the last time. Well, I know I've seen you wear jeans before. This style of jeans. jean? Yeah.

I don't think I've ever seen you wear. Can you talk me through it, please? I saw Jacob Alardi in a pair. I really liked what he was doing with him. Jacob Alorti's become my new guru. He's a big guy, he's tall. Yeah. I look at him.

Where did you see him wearing these jeans? I think it was somewhere on. What are these jeans? What make? No, like, what is the star? What do you call this? I think it's like a boyfriend cut type thing. I think it's something like that.

A boyfriend cut? Yeah. Yeah. Is that like, what is that like? that wash? It's like, this is a, like an acid wash,

isn't it? Yeah, that's what I was wondering, but then I didn't want to embarrass myself by saying that. That's acid wash, right?

Yeah. Yeah. What's your, what's your feeling? Do you think I'm too old for jeans? No, of course you're not too old for jeans.

I know, 60 year olds love jeans, didn't they? Yeah. But I think, um, no, I think it's good.

My question to you is is you're a bit of a clove sauce. I love my clothes. Yeah, you love your clothes and you always look good. Today included. And, Go on.

But like, do you get like, so for example, you must have known this is a bit of a different gene for you. Yeah. Was there any? Catherine hates them. She's not a fan. What did she say? She just was like, oh my God, she, they're not,

if I put these on and we were going out for a date or we were going to go out for a bit of lunch, she would let you wear them. She's going to, you know, wear it nice. Why? What's her issue with them? She doesn't vibe with them. Whereas I quite like them.

And also I've always liked to, pick up a little piece where you just go, oh, this is a bit different. Yeah. But is there then any nerves when you wear them out? Like when you came here today? Oh, in what sense? Are people laughing at?

Not laughing. I'm not saying laughing. You know when you wear something a bit different? I've always worn stuff that's like, like, back in the day, I remember buying a pair of leather trousers. I think I've talked about this on here before. I got co-works, coerced into wearing, I was in Sutton in a place called Times Square.

They used to have a closed shop there. And this guy... It's hilarious to me that Sutton's got a time. square but anyway yeah he was called slick and he used to run a I can't remember but he used to run

this cool clothes shop is that the one just down from the Empire State building and uh look at this guy uh and he um

and he had these like faux leather trousers right in a in my size pleather yeah and he went um these would be oh he's like

basically I went in for a pair of jeans and he was like oh no these would be great for you you look amazing in these man and I was like I was serious and so I tried them on and I wasn't sure

they were quite tight pleather and him and his the guy who worked I think it was called Faraz they were they they was called Faraz and they were like

oh mate you look at the bollocks brother you're gonna fucking smash it we go tonight it was like blue walking and Croix and they're like oh mate they literally like and they were like 60 quid

and it was like yeah so I brought them with a you remember those like um Versacey sort of like black t-shirts fucking hell they sold me one of those as well and uh

I think what that look is I think it's I think it's a c-look I think it's it's sort of like um if you got turning up to Blue Hawk in 1998 yeah so so you wore them

what shoes are you in uh probably a pair of Patrick Cox wannabes oh my god with leather trousers yeah okay gone so then what was the reaction

could I just say Everyone else in my air and probably yours as well, pretty much there was a uniform right then. Five-o-ones. Like a smart shirt. Yeah, like a smart shirt, usually quite big fit in. Maybe Harrington. Yeah. Patrick Cox's wannabes or we've got classics.

It was spry as you. Yeah, so it was a big, big move. And yeah, I remember turning up, we all, I can't remember the bar we used to go into. I mean, turning up to meet your mates for the first time in leather trousers. Yeah. Jesus. You have to give you. yourself a fucking pep talk in the mirror before you get out there.

No, but I turned out thinking, because I'm so influenced by what other people think. Yeah, you're drunk off the compliments you got in the shop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't wait to get them on. Yeah. And I remember getting off the train at West Croydon and people like wolf whistling. Like, walking past a group of, I mean, I'm 17, 18 at the time. We can pass a group of that sort of proper geeseus and go, ooh, hey!

Who are you going, babe? Did any alarm bells start ringing at that? point. No, but I used in my head just think, oh, they're just, yeah, jealous. Or like, oh, you know, they're just having bad now. I've been teased all my life.

I bet they haven't got 60 quid for a period of chance. I also just thought that someone, you know, it was, I remember being, do you know that actually the work, I mean, rinsed by a group of girls in a cabb shop after with them on. It was, yeah. Cabab shop after is when you often,

I got rinsed. Yeah, yeah. I told you back when I wore the bandana. Yeah. Oh, shit. Nice teetail. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's a real, it's a real place. It's a leveler. Yeah. And also they've often got like, it's all mirror. Yeah. So often it's like two o'clock in the morning. And then you see what you've actually looked like. I just thought about it.

I forgot. I never, like, I was dancing quite seriously. I remember getting a really, really sweaty bum. Oh man, this is so. In the trousers? Yeah. I was like sweating, everything's sweating. You know.

It's disgusting. So the sweat on my bum was like so bad. I had to go and get some napkins. To give yourself like a courtesy one. No, you put them between my bum cheeks. So the sweat was, oh my God. You put napkins between your bum cheeks? It was like a mop-up thing.

Yeah, so it wouldn't be so sweaty. But I don't understand why you needed to do that. I mean, only you were getting really sweaty. My pants were wet right through nearly. Okay. Because I was dancing, right? and then I put, but then I was like, it's quite uncomfortable with your butt.

I'm trying to think the 17-year-old year with a black Versacee T-shirt, clever trousers, wallabies, sweating his ass off. Just absolutely going for it. Sweet like chocolate. I'll bring you flowers.

I used to think, because also, by the way, what's insane at that time is we didn't have camera phones. So I used to really, really give it sometimes on the dance floor. Yeah. Those are the good odd...

By the way, that's a really good observation. Those were the good odd days. You could dance however you wanted. But no one videoed you and then just showed you. Oh my God, have you seen you like that? I could see people sometimes sort of staring and whatever. Nobody likes videos you when you're having a nice night out and you think you look good dancing and then they show you the video.

Then everyone starts laughing and then you go, I'm going to go home. And they go, don't go home, Rom. And you go, sorry, you go, don't go home, mate. And you go, yeah. You know what's all good about. So anyway, where did you get the napkins from? From the bar. Right.

So you said, can I have some napkins? Yeah. Okay. And also, like, I had to sign, and then I've pulled. And what they wouldn't have done is thought you'd feel anything. They've just looked it in and God, he's got a sweaty ass crack. Also, they want to go in the toilet and put them in. Yeah.

Because I, do you ever go to the blocker back in that day? Yeah. Yeah. Once or twice. Yeah, the toilets were quite sort of savage, do I mean? And also, so I didn't want anyone thinking I was, I was just sticking stuff up my bum. Yeah. Sure.

So I, I just found a dark little corner. in it just subtly. In the corner of the club? I just did it quickly. Like, slip in. And then how did you feel after that? Well, to be fair, it wasn't a great,

it was one of the worst inventions I've ever made. Because the truth is... I mean, I don't think the word invention has been misused to that level in the history of language. Well, the truth of it is it had the opposite effect that I decided. The napkins started sweating.

Yeah. Fucking early. sort of down. The napkins then became quite drenched. Yeah, of course. And, but also, very much like,

it became almost, I ended up basically with sort of like sores and like a bit of a napi rash on my bum. It was quite a, yeah, it was quite, yeah.

Having to go in, like that morning, like the morning, sort of on the Monday morning, that goes, sort of like, go at work and get some napy rash cream. Imagine if you'd taken someone home that night.

Oh, you know, the only thing I'd say is that was never on the fucking. That was sort of, like dancing around that. Hey y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up?

That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca. Wayfair, every style, every home. Right, Tommy D. Can you do us the honors of taking us out, please?

Okay. An egg falls on the floor. Smash crash. Pick it up, John. Put it in the bin. Don't worry about it. But what was it? this egg, men to be? What should it have been? Fried on someone's plate? Whisked carefully,

a little bit of sugar and flour. That's a lovely cake, Melika. Thanks. I like cupcakes too. Truth is some things are cut down in the prime before they reach things that they're going to be. Eggs, cats, dogs, people. It's really, really hard to look down upon the egg and not feel sad. truth is fulfillment is everything but what about this what about the journey the egg went on

to get to that floor maybe that was his moment maybe the truth was that this egg had to hit the ground just for John or whoever else to be careful with other eggs to seal their fate sometimes in life

the things that we wish we could be aren't actually the things that we should be at all So today when you're walking around and listening to his podcast or even watching it, think to yourself, am I doing the thing I should be that I'm destined to do? Or am I just an egg on the floor, looking up at a guy, wondering what could it be? It's a really beautiful message. And also a deep insight into our different perspectives.

So what could the egg have been? Could have been a cake? Could have been a pancake? And not one second, do you think it could have been? could have been a chicken. Yeah. It could have gone on to lead a life. Thank you so much.

Almost the same end. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Tom. Thank you so much, everybody for watching a list of the war for now. We'll see you next time. Namaste. Peace. Yeah, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws,

whatever's prefer. Just kidding, every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.