Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 14: Slow Service & Cringey Complaints
Episode Date: October 5, 2022We’re talking… awesome animations, restaurant letdowns, embarrassing complaint letters, awkward interactions and a stressful encounter with a charity meerkat. Then we tackle email questions about ...a parent’s past catching up with them, relationship age gaps, more sock swaps and a debate on a very specific benefit of weight loss. For questions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Yum. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Outro Music Oh my gosh.
You're not going to believe what time it is.
Yo, hit me Ron.
Look at your watch.
The wolf has just licked his paws to prep himself. The owl has given himself a little plume up because it's time for the wolf and owl baby.
I was trying to think of something else.
Whoa, damn.
How does it feel?
How does it feel to be the sexiest owl on podcasts?
What's the competition for sexy owls?
What's the name of Harry Potter's owl?
Harry Potter's owl and the one probably from Sword in the Stone.
Oh, yeah?
That's a sexy owl.
He's got a little bit of a vibe about him.
We need to thank Yellow Penguin Animation who made the owl look particular.
The Arse Pebble cartoon is out right now on our YouTube and on our Instagram.
And oh, my gosh.
The YouTube one's got a special Mordor.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Do you know what I love is the fact he actually animated your three boys as well.
I know.
Have you shown them?
You didn't have to do that.
Did you show them?
No, because they won't care.
I mean, no disrespect to you.
They've been animated.
Do you know, mate, you should say to them,
5% of people in the world ever get animated.
I don't think it's even that high.
Well, yeah, that too. Yeah, mate, you should say get animated. I don't think it's even that high. Well, yeah, like two.
Yeah, mate, you should say to them.
I'll tell you what, when you're having your supper tonight, right?
Yeah.
Just say, listen, and then just show it.
I mean, to be fair, actually, it's a bit gutting then for the swan.
If you think the swan gives anything approaching a shiny shit
about being animated in a thing,
do you think we should look at getting the Swan animated in the next one?
No, I don't think so.
I think we should be devastated.
I am coming off the back of,
and I'm loathe to name this establishment
because I've been in there many times and had a great time.
I went for dinner with the Swan last night at a local pub.
One of these bougie kind of,
do you know,
it's like a gastropub.
They've redone it.
So it's got an all-vegan menu.
Not,
the menu's not all vegan.
It's got a separate vegan menu.
I've been there many times for lunch.
Went there last night for dinner.
First dinner we've had in a long time.
Not first dinner.
First dinner out,
just us two.
Nice,
nice,
nice.
Making the date vibe.
They dropped a bollock
like you would not believe, mate.
It was insane.
First of all,
first of all,
table booked for eight.
We got there at seven.
Thought we'd get a couple of drinks in, right?
Yeah.
Before the meal.
Between me ordering
or going to the bar to order a drink,
and me having a drink in my hand, I reckon, rough estimate, 35 minutes, right?
And let me just contextualise this, not busy at all.
Really?
That's staff who don't give a fuck, man.
What you got there is staff.
Well, I need to, the story carries on, right?
So I do want to give, I don't want to be too harsh here, okay?
So I'm just telling you what happened.
Okay.
Do you want me to feed back with the evidence
and sort of like find them guilty?
Yeah, I'd love you to give me a bit of analysis on this.
I've got my shearer head on.
Okay.
So it's like one of these things where we're really looking forward
to a good night and everything around us is conspiring to fuck it up.
So eight o'clock, we walk to the reception bit to get our table.
We're there for ages, right?
Eventually, somebody comes, says, let me just go check if your table's ready.
By this time, it's quarter past eight.
I would expect an 8 o'clock book table to be ready.
So he goes to check the table.
Takes us over to the table.
Now, I want to give positives as well as negatives.
He's worried about me getting clocked.
So they found me a table right in the corner, tucked away. So I want to give positives as well as negatives. He's worried about me getting clocked, so they found me a table right in the corner, tucked away.
So I want to give credit where credit's due.
So I sit down.
Now, to my mind, I reckon there's, in the bit that we're in,
there's 12 tables, three of them, I'd say, are occupied, including us.
With, like, one table's got three people at it and
other tables got four people at it right so wait a minute nine people together nice okay so we sit
down the waitress comes over she goes um are you ready to order i said yes because i've been i knew
what i was going to order before i even arrived at the restaurant. So she goes, bearing in mind this has been like,
we've been here over an hour now, right?
So we sit down.
She goes, what would you like to eat?
Starts off with food, fine.
You know, a lot of people say, what do you want to drink?
That's not come up yet.
So she goes, what do you want to eat?
And then we go to order and she goes, oh, hold on a second.
This table's not coming up.
And then we go, okay. And she goes,, hold on a second. This table's not coming up. And then we go, okay.
And she goes, what's your name?
And the Swan had booked it.
So she says, Lisa Ranganathan.
She goes, you're not coming up as having a book in here.
And I go, well, you know, we told them the table
and we'd been brought over to this table, which is under our booking.
So if you're now telling we haven't been booked,
something's gone wrong and I can't tell you what it is she goes i'll be back in a minute she's gone for five
minutes right she comes back and she goes sorry there's a bit of a software error i have found
your table now what would you like then they list 12 things that they don't have because the delivery
didn't come in this one i think would be anything you want no thank god i was ready for that i was
ready for that right we order our food uh do you want to know what the order was for yeah yeah i'd like
to know all the details i can't give you an analysis if not i ordered a plant-based burger
with fries yeah okay lisa ordered um spiced coconut curry or something like that she's a
class act yeah she's very classy yeah she's sitting opposite a fucking heathen eating a burger for a romantic dinner.
Anyway.
So mind you having curry,
that's,
you know,
it's not ideal,
is it?
Anyway.
So she then goes,
what do you want to drink?
And I said,
we decided to have a bottle of wine.
I said,
can I have this bottle of wine?
She says,
Oh,
that's not coming up on the system.
We don't have it. And she goes, can you point point it out to me so i point out to her on the menu
she goes oh yeah we do have that that was it was under a different category to
what i was looking for and i go okay um so we get the wine they bring over the wine so by the way
in between all of these steps i reckon reckon 15, 20 minutes is passing.
Okay. So 20 minutes later, they come over the bottle of wine
and they put it on the table and then she walks away.
Right.
So the bottle's just there.
So I open it myself.
Oh, my God.
Right.
So I know this sounds like a really first world problem.
So I open the bottle of wine and she comes back over and she goes,
do you want an ice bucket and I
go yeah that'd be good because it's sparkling right so I go yeah that would be classic what
prosecco yeah a little bit prosecco right so she goes off she gets the ice bucket she brings the
ice bucket back and she says two things here's your ice bucket um I would open the offer to
open the bottle but you know and then she walks away all right so i open the bottle i put the ice
bucket into the bucket which um i would say is not doing half its job it's just a bucket there's
no ice in it all right so 40 i would say 40 to 45 minutes later our dinner arrives dinner's fine okay i'm going to give
credit where credit's due my burger was fine chips are fine they brought over the ketchup promptly
well i mean essentially they they you gotta go a long way to fuck up a fucking plant-based burger
and chips sure sure how's lisa's that's a bigger thing she said it was fine bit bland she said
right but fine you know you're ordered a curry from a pub.
Fucking you get what you're given.
Do you know what I mean?
So,
um,
we finished the food all week.
Not all week.
That's an exaggeration for the two days since Lisa had booked this place.
I've been raving about the fact that they do a vegan apple and damson crumble.
No apple and rhubarb crumble,
right?
With a vegan custard.
Yeah.
Right.
Now,
when the nights are drawing in and the
temperature's dropping is there are there many nicer pleasures in life than sitting down to a
hot crumble i don't think so maybe a second crumble or a nice peach cobbler oh 100 100 right
or a tart tatin oh shut up shut your mouth shut your nose before you spank your bum.
Anyway,
I pour the custard all over this crumble.
Start eating it.
The rhubarb is completely raw.
Sorry, mate. I'm sitting up to attention here.
Number one, it's fucking lethal rhubarb if it's not cooked properly correct correct like i'm waiting
for it to fucking repeat mate in the old days that's coming back right in the ancient times
mate that's they used to kill people with rhubarb leaves it was a known weapon if you couldn't get
your hands on arsenic you use a rhubarb leaf it's deadly known weapon if you couldn't get your hands on arsenic you'd use a rhubarb leaf
it's deadly
and actually
probably I'd say
in the top
three
worst fruit
to have
raw
undercooked
yeah
just for its
texture
so we
send it back
no do you
know what I
did Tom
she came over
midway
she said
how's the
crumble
I said
absolutely
delightful because I'm a fucking mug yeah you gotta fucking own those moments bro you gotta
own those one of the waiters was great right he came over he's really nice booked us a taxi home
and also said to us it sounds by the sounds and they couldn't wait for you to leave
it was like a miracle that you made it to dessert i nearly didn't have the dessert mate
i was absolutely furious. Furious.
I was so furious, I gave them a massive tip.
I don't know what it is.
You've got this.
This is where I'm going to jump in here, bro.
My desire to be liked.
I know.
I love to be liked.
I love to be liked.
But you know what's better?
Is giving actually a bit of constructive criticism.
Okay, but can I just give a little bit of context?
Yeah, you're having a romantic night out
no no one of the waiters came over and said that somebody had booked in a part we didn't see this
because it's over the other side i booked in a party of 12 a party of 9 and a party of 30
all live in the same hour and he said so i'm really sorry if your experience has not been
what it should be so you know that there's the context for you okay what i would say a couple of things when did he tell can i ask you when he said this
right at the end because he's tip thirsty he's tip thirsty mate no he's played you like an
absolute sucker like did you see the parties no there we go literally she's gone over going oh
mate this this is going to be an easy old night.
He's opening his own bottle of wine over there.
I've not even put ice in the ice bucket, and he seems happy.
And at the end, it's like, I bet he's looked around and gone,
tell you what, I bet we'll get a tip out of this mug.
What are we going to say?
I want to just say that there's like 50 people
that he's not seen partying in here.
And they're on the other side of the...
Did you hear any sort of sound of partying?
There were other people there.
I don't know if there's much more kind of emasculating on the other side of the... Did you hear any sort of sound of partying? There were other people there. I mean, when I...
I don't know if there's much more kind of emasculating
than being with your other half when there's a group of lads.
Oh, mate, it's horrible.
Yeah, yeah, I'm with you there.
It's a really horrible experience
as you sort of, like, nudge your way through this big group of lads
with their fucking dicks out, do you know what I mean?
Like, snort and bugle off the fucking bar or whatever just like yeah i find it very i find it yeah
terrifying that's what that's worse for me than a group of teenagers down the park when you're
out with your family i think as soon as that thing thing happens and you know the worst part of it
right this is the worst thing of it and you you do i've been out of you you know yeah i've been
out of you in your past i've seen you like in their heads a group of lads don't think they're being intimidating
they're just having a good time in their in the million years they're not there to intimidate
they're just completely selfishly getting on with their night yeah but there's something very very
fucking terrifying about just the loudness of a group of blokes in a place and then you just
thinking oh mate it just takes one of them just to sort of have a dislike, you know, sort of be quite, turn aggressive.
Well, you accidentally bump somebody and then suddenly you're in front of your other half and you've got to defend their honour or whatever.
Just absolutely the worst.
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apply i mean in the scenario you found yourself in the trouble with it right i mean i'm giving it
the jolly big potatoes here katherine is an expert complainer really like you've never seen anything
like it yeah she She'll complain.
I mean, to be fair, and since I've been with her,
I will now, if things aren't how I expect them to be,
I've sort of started saying something.
I used to just get away.
I used to just literally walk out of a place as I'm going up,
my phone's on, and I'm on TripAdvisor already,
and I'm going in double-footed.
Really?
But then I actually realised, yeah, but then I realised, actually,
all they'll ever do is write
back and go i'm sorry it wasn't up to your expectation and actually turning around and
saying you know what this was this wasn't very good i wrote an email to a place that was actually
this is one of the top five i think i talked about it on here before top five pubs in the country
right i emailed this place and said look you know i went here with my wife. It was a special occasion. It was an absolute disgrace.
Like the food.
Did you use the word disgrace?
Yeah.
I said it was disgraceful.
I mean, the email was pretty.
You said disgraceful as well?
Yeah.
I think I've still got the email.
I would love to hear it.
I would love to hear it.
Let me just see if I can find it.
While you're looking for this email,
I do want to say,
I do think these people don't get paid enough
and maybe I'm being a prick
and maybe they did have loads of money.
Oh, God.
I'm about to mug myself so much here.
Oh, this is good.
Okay, let's hear it.
It's quite long.
It's a lot longer than I remember.
Okay, well, I think we'd like to hear the full thing
and then JT can make an edit decision.
Lunch is the headline of the email.
Cool.
Good evening.
I seldom do this.
You didn't put your name, no?
No, no.
I seldom do this.
They probably thought,
this must be that lunch we serve.
We've only done one.
This is just...
Okay, go on.
I don't know why I've become a different person
when I write these emails.
Good evening.
I seldom do this,
but I've been mulling over whether to get in touch or not i had lunch at your premises today and was really disappointed with the standard of today's
food it felt the main course had been put together in a lackluster fashion the potatoes were inedible
as they were so uncooked whilst with you we tried a number of times to have a chat with members of
the staff whilst in the restaurant to convey our feelings.
This seemed impossible,
as there seemed to be a lack of staff on the floor.
I'm not sure whether you were staff members down.
If so, I'm sorry.
But addressing this and explaining would have been far more understandable
than just leaving your customers in the lurch.
I should add this was a complete surprise.
We've eaten with you before
and always been over the moon
with the experience as a whole.
Today's meal was nothing short of disgraceful.
We've always seen dining with you as a special occasion.
Sadly, today felt anything but that, Mr Davis.
Genuinely, right? genuinely right I'm old on that
I was
I've written
business emails
and I've written
stand up
that I've not put
as much work into
as that email
sadly
today
only for a buck
did they reply to you
all they've said
is this
many thanks for the
feedback email
we don't have any
bookings under your name
would it have been
under Catherine Davis
or another name
this would get us
a better understanding
to look into your feedback
take care
and stay safe
GQ and Drink Awards
2021
best pub
good pub guide
2021
UK pub of the year
I don't need to
you don't need to
read the footer
stronger together
working and supporting
our staff, our suppliers
and our community.
You're doing everything
but fucking looking
after the customers,
mate.
Did you reply to that
email?
I didn't, I'm looking
for their reply, but I
can't find another.
No, that is their reply.
You've just read their
reply.
Yeah, no, but there
was another one.
I think, you know what,
I think they might have
fucking cut me out of
the loop and I think
they emailed back
Catherine.
All the best
stories don't have an ending brother okay oh no no no it's not it's just that oh jesus christ
yeah just that mate okay good all right fine well that was good enough so look that at that moment
i knew from there that i had to that i was never going to get the the response i wanted unless you
sit there and just go excuse me can i just have a quick chat? What response,
what response are you hoping to get from that restaurant?
Now you've had the meal.
Oh,
what I want is them to say,
Oh,
actually,
you know what?
Like let's knock some money off the bill or just a real,
just a,
sorry,
just an empathetic.
You know what?
We,
we,
we should do better.
I'll tell you something,
mate in life.
No one is ever short of telling me when I've not done things.
Yeah,
that's true.
Yeah. I'm constantly, You know, I'm constantly...
You know you need to look at my Instagram.
Yeah.
And it's this bit, right?
Look, when you've got a child or you've got kids, right,
those nights become very, very special.
If you've got like, all right, I've got a night off,
I'm going to go and have a bite to eat.
Yeah.
It's an amazing thing.
I'll tell you what, we went...
We had a very overzealous guy in a restaurant recently
who was the opposite end of the spectrum.
He was completely, I've never seen anyone go to a level of attentiveness
that actually became offensive.
What happened?
It was almost like a lunch for two became a lunch for three.
He spent so long at our table.
Was he a fan?
I think he was.
He pretended that he thought he knew me from another pub, but he didn't.
He kept on going
I know you from somewhere
didn't I
and I was like
yeah you probably do
and then
every time I'd say something
I'd say
oh you know what would be nice
for this is a little bit of wasabi
wasabi on your shoulders
I love wasabi with that as well
wasabi is one of the best things
in the world isn't it
then he'd walk off
and you'd just go
oh I've run out of sweet chilli
boom
sweet chilli sauce there
it wasn't in waves
what a fucking prick so what stuff was arriving as you wanted it jesus fucking christ
what a wanker did you use disgrace in that email as well no he was just too overzealous
so you asked for wasabi wasabi came you asked for sweet chili sweet chili came
no but then i spent like half an hour afterwards where he just was chatting
and chatting and chatting and we okay yeah okay he was just very he was very too attentive he was
like every little thing at one point i sort of said about being a bit cold outside yeah and then
he like put on all the patio heaters and i said i made a joke oh my god so he warmed it up for you
jesus fucking christ no he put them all on. What a...
Sorry, I don't often use...
What a...
What an unmitigated...
this man is.
He was here.
We can have a conversation,
is what I'm saying.
Right, okay.
Yeah.
I forget.
It feels like it's a bit bad to be sure.
I did something.
I was in a bookshop with Theo yesterday.
Sure enough.
And...
Yeah, I know.
No, but this is what, mate.
It gets... So, I'm walking around the bookshop with Theo yesterday. Sure enough. Yeah, I know. No, but this is what, mate. So I'm walking around the bookshop.
Theo and I are reading
the same books at the moment.
I don't know if that's
a compliment to him
or a massive insult to me.
Don't be engrossed.
But we're really into a lot of these,
you know these like
crime page turners?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we're both like
tucking
into them so he chooses two books and he says we can like read these and swap and i was all right
oh nice this is a lovely idea of that it's a very sweet thing all right cool so anyway so so we got
to the counter to buy these books and um the girl goes just want to say i'm no what did she say how
did she word it i'm also a massive fan and i thought i didn't know
what she meant like i did i didn't know what that means but what i mean i didn't know she meant the
author or you me yeah so what i should have done is gone oh great that's that's a sensible thing
i went oh god i, of me or the author. Oh, God.
Oh.
You know what?
All I can picture is Theo's face.
Just like, he's literally... Mate, that's...
Theo is like literally having an incredible Saturday.
He's walking around with his dad.
It's a moment of father and son bonding.
He's like, actually, you know what?
This is our relationship.
And then you're at the counter.
Someone in Waterstones turns around and is like, yeah.
And then to hear your dad going, you mean of me or the author?
There's no answer to that.
Because if she says you, what do you say?
But if she says, no, I meant the author. says you what do you say but if she says no i i meant the author
do you are you a writer as well yeah i've written four books
anyway she goes she goes she goes oh both actually she goes um she goes i really like
what you're doing she goes and i really like this author and i went okay but but at that stage i was i was fucking absolutely inside my brain was just like
you fucking idiot you fucking what the fuck is wrong with you fucking do this every time
theo honestly mate he nearly evaporated with embarrassment right like it was
it was so bad and then we walked out and he just literally like a parent he just
went to me what made you say that because that was such a high risk thing to say why would you
say that of all of the things that you could say why would you say that i was like oh god oh god i
just said to him can you just give me a moment to sort of just process what's happened yeah
what you've done it was so yeah but look in your defense we've had uh i've had moments like with katherine where katherine
looks like jenny she gets like i told you about the guy in cambridge didn't i no i don't think so
um we were walking through cambridge and this guy came to print the army went excuse me excuse me
you're right there big fella i was like hello mate you're right and he was like yeah yeah yeah um
no i just wanted to say and i just thought i'll just make it because
he was sort of like dancing around subject said do you want a picture did you want a picture and
he was like pardon and i do you want a picture and he was like no no i'm just saying that we're
doing like walking tours of the city and and he starts explaining what he's doing for a job
and katherine genuinely shook her head which he looks so embarrassed and sort of just walked off far
enough that it looked like i might have just costed her in the street as well and uh
and he was like no no like he's just like he clearly had no idea what i was you know
it was so embarrassing from that moment on i was like that you, let people do the asking. Yeah.
But I will say this,
I was at a charity day the other day.
The amount of love for you,
shouting you out, man.
A lot of people love you, man.
You've got to know that.
Oh, that's really nice.
Thanks, man.
A lot of people really love you.
What have you been up to
apart from helping out charities?
Well, I went to the
BGC charity day, right?
Which is an incredible thing.
Who was there? I will say, there's actually just, there's Which is an incredible thing. Who was there?
I will say,
there's actually just,
there's a lot of amazing people.
It sometimes feels,
there's a little bit of a disappointment
if I turn up at places
and you're not with me.
I have the same thing.
It's a little bit like,
someone like Eagly.
I've got two of you.
Yeah.
I've got Rob Beckett,
Tom Davis,
and my mum as well.
Yeah, yeah.
So.
I'm just a lone wolf.
There you go.
Apart from you that the only
part it's like i have been sort of like for 10 years just rushing the forests and the landscape
the wilderness alone and all of a sudden i've got this kin with me and people expect you to be there
um man they put me in a really weird position so it's an incredible day it's amazing it was a lot
of money for a lot of amazing sorry what is the day? What is the format of it?
Yeah, so they raise
money for different
charities.
So I do it for a place
called St. Francis Hospice
and they raise money
for different charities
and the traders give up
bonuses for deals
that they make.
All their bonuses
and all their commission
goes to different charities.
Oh, I've done this.
It's incredible.
It's an amazing day.
You go to the stock floor
and all the trades and money off the trade. Yeah, I've've done that i would say it's a pretty worrying day not to
you know i'm not going to get into this now but it's a pretty worrying day to do it this week
uh after everything that's happened uh there was a lot of traders yeah they look very worried but
um yeah but anyway this these people in front of all the whole trading floor said oh it'd be
really funny if we put a meerkat on your back for a little bit.
And I was like, I'm terrified of things like this.
I always think a meerkat... An actual meerkat?
Are you talking about an actual meerkat?
Yeah, a little meerkat, yeah.
Why do they want a meerkat on your back?
Because they think it would be funny,
because meerkats are tiny and are massive, right?
Can I just say, I know it's a charity thing,
but I disagree.
Anyway, go on.
What do you mean?
I disagree that it's hilarious to put a meerkat on your back.
Oh, mate, I was genuinely like... But then I feel like loads of people are sort of goading me into it.
I'm still...
Yeah, and it's a charity thing.
You want to do the right thing.
Yeah, but also I'm still the loser from school
who if enough people goad me into doing something,
I'll pretty much get bullied into doing nearly anything, right?
Yeah, yeah.
I stand there, Ron, and this meerkat gets put onto my back.
And the first thing she said...
That sounds quite funny.
She said, keep your hands by your side, otherwise it could distress the meerkat gets put onto my back and she's the first thing she said keep your hands by your side
otherwise it could distress the meerkat and i'm like what do you mean distress it she said they
can't definitely won't distress the meerkat not putting it on your back it's so insane to me but
but i'm then like this is insane because i'm now really nervous anyway and then she was i said
do any movements upset the
meerkat she said just stay still and it will think you're a big rock so i don't know about you but
what happens to me if the more still i stand the more i sweat the more i so now i'm standing on
this fucking floor with all these people like a sweaty rock and yeah just absolutely yeah like a
rock in the in the rain literally underneath my hat is a sea of fucking
disgusting salty sweat and this meerkat's having the time of his life she went oh he's got a good
vantage point up there and loads of people are like right i'm standing there they're laughing
of course they are of course she said oh you do you want to try it's funny i was wrong i was wrong
she said uh do you want to try and have a walk around with him on your back with no like you've
told me not to move it It's absolutely fucking terrifying.
And, like, what if it just, like, it's basically on top of my head.
It could just fucking burrow out my brains.
Do you know what I mean?
I've not seen that particular advert where that happens, but, yeah.
And then the most embarrassing things have to turn around to, like,
this woman who said, like, people are laughing.
So many people.
I've been sent diversions of these pictures hundreds of times.
Everyone's like, oh, my God, I've got a picture of you in a meerkat. want it i didn't want it i don't even fucking remember it anymore right and then the woman went um she was like laughing and she
was like i said i looked at ron with i swear i had tears in my eyes and i said please can you get him
off please like she was like you're right and i was like no i feel really uncomfortable and like
i felt like i might i might well piss my pants because i didn't know where all the energy to go with nervous energy
do you know what i would say that's what that situation needed that would have been the icing
on the cake for me and i i don't want to say uh i apologize to the people that suggested putting
the meerkat on tom's back because it now sounds like it was hilarious but that would have been
if you really wanted to do
something for charity,
standing there and pissing your pants
would have been perfect.
You've never seen someone look
fucking so uncomfortable.
What are you looking for now?
I'm just going to show you the picture.
The worst part of it is
I've got a massive badge on.
It looks like I'm at a kids party
potentially
don't be much of the entertainer
he just puts a meerkat on him
and shits himself
I look absolutely
terrified
look at my face
look how nervous I am
yeah, I'm uncomfortable
you've seen that
you've seen that new
children's entertainer
the wolf
what he does
is he puts a meerkat
on his shoulder
and then he pisses his pants
that's it though
he doesn't even do a magic trick
the only thing that I had
is someone told me that Rio
Ferdinand was more scared than me.
I did that.
I hosted that event
one year. I co-hosted
with John Bishop. Not together.
I did the first half, he did the second half.
And Sol Campbell
turned up. Good guy.
I'd been around, well not turned up,
he was donating money for charity
and I'd wandered
around
and there were a lot
of Spurs fans
amongst the traders
so
I said to
Sol Campbell
hey Sol
look mate
absolute honour
as an Arsenal fan
absolute honour
it's all on the mic
across the floor
so absolute honour
to have you here
amazing to be doing this
it's a real honour
for me to meet you
and he just went
oh cool and then I went here amazing to be doing this and it's a real honour for me to meet you and he just went oh cool and then I went um so what are you you know what's what are you doing
this in aid of and he goes I'm doing it for this charity and I go cool I go so you're going to be
giving any banter or anything like that as you wander around he goes not really and then I went
uh you can do more than one word answers if you want so but it's up to you and then I said to him
just so you know there's loads of Spurs fans here. So just be on your toes around it.
And then he just went, well, it's not about football today.
It's about charity, isn't it?
So I'm not really going to think about that.
And I went, thanks very much, Sol Campbell.
Absolute buzz.
Cheers, mate.
So awful. right should we do some emails okay uh this is from steve wow steve and steve says hi rom and
tom love the podcast and in all honesty
during lockdown when I was feeling low, you guys helped me
keep my spirits up. I think you guys underestimated the help
you gave people struggling over lockdown, so thank you for that.
My dilemma is this.
When my son was 5 or 6,
I bought a new 36-inch TV.
Bearing in mind it was 1999, it had a giant
back before slim TV, so
36-inch was really big back then.
Anyway, my son decided to play with
a balloon attached to an elastic band and ricochet it 50 times a second into my new tv
i warned him to stop and he did before repeating it again i again warned him and again he ceased
only to do it for a third time i let from the city like a wild lion to clobber him that was
allowed back then but like a slippery mountain goat he escaped my assault and legged it into
the dining room and slid under the dining room table i pursued and reached the table and i bellowed at him to come out he was whimpering
so i bent down to attempt to come out he had pissed himself and was sitting in his own piss crying
obviously i felt awful and i forgave him and it petered out forward 25 years i'm now a frail old
53 year old and my son is now 30 and six foot seven inches and 19 stone he reminds me about
this incident frequently and swears downhill one day chase me under the table and make me piss myself i think i could still take him and he knows it
but the day will come when he will take revenge from me what advice can you give me so my son
will not break me and make me pay for my parenting you're sincerely steve wow steve um the kind of
i'm i'm a new to the father, it feels kind of an extreme thing to,
once your child's whimpering under a table,
I don't know whether that's the time to sort of like call it down
and just go, yo, maybe I've taken this too far, it's only a TV.
But, you know.
Also, it was a balloon, right?
Yeah, yeah.
A balloon attached to an elastic band.
Okay, I don't know.
I mean, it's needless, isn't it?
Yeah, it feels like a lot. But then, you know, I don't know. I mean, it's needless, isn't it? But yeah,
it feels like a lot,
but then,
you know,
well,
yeah,
I don't know where your headspace is.
You know what I'd say,
Steve,
I actually think this is a moment to say,
like save yourself.
What could be an incredible thing and give your,
your son that little boost of confidence he might need.
I'd say do something that you know is going to annoy him now. So you can almost get to the place where he chases you under the table and then you push up and just
perfectly drink loads of water and then piss your pants yourself right because i think the alternative
is you know you're in your 50s now is when you're 60 65 and when you do that at that age there's no
coming but your son that might be the one of the
final like sort of like memories your son has of you is whimpering under the table sort of
floating in your own pits i'd say do it now get it out of the way and then just like build those
bridges with your son for first and foremost um because he's harboring that and i think actually
that feeling for him he'll probably feel
like it sounds you for you you know that that feeling of dread and that feeling of you feeling
ever since that day you sound like you you've carried it around with you a little bit so
actually you know pass the buck let him feel like that or let him feel that you didn't feel good
about it so yeah i'd say just just yeah play act that out um And, yeah, over to you, Ron. Yeah, great advice, Tom.
Really good.
Steve.
Really good.
Steve, I think you deserve it.
I think that sometimes, and it's true of me, it's true of Tom,
we do things that were wrong and we deserve the comeback from that.
And I think what you need to do is similar to what Tom said.
I think you need to allow your son to make you piss yourself
under your dining table.
I think that is the only way that you can really draw a line under this.
It takes out the not knowing, do you know what I mean?
Because that's part of the problem here is you don't know what day that's going to happen yeah i mean so
it's like i think you allow it to happen get it out the way and and sort of you know that's it
it's all dealt with um i would say frail old 53 year old please don't say things like that it's
just um there's a worry it's just upsetting it is a a worry. Because Tom basically thinks I'm 52 now.
So he's hearing that.
If you're 52, I'm looking forward to that.
You're looking good.
You're feeling fucking buzzy.
Yeah, but I'm not.
If you're talking, yeah.
But when he says frail, I'm like, that's not far away.
That's 10 years from me and you.
Tom, here's a question for you.
We're in our 40s, both in our 40s.
When we're in our 50s, we have in our 50s we have to stop going out
I think for someone in their 40s
you go out a lot
oh
you're still going out
you're holding on to the prom crowd
a little bit
really
but then I'm a new dad i'm like
literally i go out well i i went out uh friday had a few beers yeah i'm still feeling the fucking
effects of that and that felt crazy just literally sitting also look you know like you that if you
get out when you're like new to parenting i find out i find i'm i've literally regressed to being
a 16 year old it's like i've got an hour and a half or two hours.
I try and dash as many pints as I can in that time.
It's not like, you know, I don't even enjoy them.
I'm drinking them like I'm a fucking goldfish.
I'm literally like, you know, it's ridiculous.
I went out last week and I've stopped drinking.
I have one beer and then I move on to gin and tonic.
But the problem with gin and tonic is it gets you drunk really quickly.
And I actually had a moment about, I think I've talked about this last time,
I was just scared of how pissed I was.
Yeah, it's awful.
It's terrible.
Whereas beer is like a gradual, I like that trajectory.
Yeah.
Nice.
It's a nice thing.
The only trouble is I had to then get home and needed about 40 pisses on the way out.
I mean, to be fair, actually, to Steve, if you want to piss yourself,
just go for a few beers with your son, don't
have a wee, and then just literally
doing that in public. Well, Tom, listen,
you've given Steve advice, you've also given me advice.
I am now retired from the going out game.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't, man.
Well, I'll obviously do the after parties
and shit like that. Oh, can we just talk about
this, by the way? So, there's
a few things that I need to address, right?
Okay, that have happened in the last
week first thing my tour went on sale shout out the tour boy yeah so the hustle tour's out on sale
i'm getting so much abuse from people going have you heard of the north of england or do you know
there's somewhere those are obviously not all the dates guys right those are the first that's the
first set of dates if you're saying to me do you know that this town exists? Yes, I do. I do know. That's just, I'm not doing a 10 date tour.
Okay. There's, there's going to be more dates. So please, can you stop telling me I don't know
the geography of the United Kingdom? All right. I'm reading those comments and I'm not replying
to them because, well, I can't be bothered, but I'm just telling you now, if you happen to visit
the Wolf and Owl podcast, and you're one of those people that sent me abuse,
there are more dates to come.
All right?
So please, please.
And just, I'm going to drop my tour dates
when we've got them all in.
We're just waiting.
We're not going to eagerly put it out.
We're just going to wait
until we've got all the terms listed.
I love your face so much
why are you operating like
it's a different agent that's doing your fucking
like you're with some sort of different organisation
that does things completely different to me
we've got the same fucking
tour agent
I love you so much
I love the smile of like just like that was like the end of
street fight when your mate just was ready to rip out your heart um the other thing i wanted to say
is so i grew up with Sri Lankan parents who spoke English because they didn't want me to have an
accent but i grew up with Sri Lankan parents who spoke English with a Sri Lankan accent and i didn't
think it affected my accent at all.
Until I did the DNA, me and Rob Beckett's DNA show came out on ITV last week.
And what do you call the son or daughter of your dad's brother?
What relation are they?
Your cousin, right?
Right.
So I say cousin.
Yeah. And what do you say? Cousin. i say cousin yeah all right and what do you say cousin you say cousin
yeah anyway it turns out i say cousin right right i didn't realize that the amount of shit i have
got since that show's gone out for saying cousin really yeah and then i mentioned to the swan and
apparently my apparently she said it's something that's bothered her the whole time not bothered
her i mean we're not often talking about cousins.
But yeah, I say it weird.
And it just came out.
In all fairness, you say it,
and this is me going back to almost day one version of this podcast.
You say it how it's spelled.
I do, yeah.
I also say that we've had emails in on this podcast about it.
Bearing in mind, I'm properly in a glass house here
because the number of times I've criticised you for your pronunciation and stuff.
That's the trouble, though. That's the trouble. You've probably
got three words. I've probably got a thousand.
I say McDonald's.
McDonald's. McDonald's.
We're going to McDonald's. Yeah, there's not an A in it,
is there? No, I know.
You fucked up there, didn't you? Yeah, I know.
That's what I'm saying. Cousin, you got
right. And actually, I prefer the word cousin.
Cousin. Yeah. Cousin. C got right. And actually, I prefer the word cousin. Cousin, yeah.
Cousin.
Yeah.
Cousin.
What do you say?
Cousin.
Cousin of McDonald's.
Cousin.
Cousin McDonald's.
See how I've dealt with this, though.
What do you mean?
I've put an arm around you and gone, it's okay, Pep.
Well, you fucked up there.
There's not an A in there.
Is that you're putting your arm around?
Well, yeah, yeah, but just so you knew, just in case you didn't.
Right, okay.
Actually, while we're chatting about things uh on the flip side of that um there has been a i'd
say it's a viral video that's gone absolutely crazy what is this of a lookalike of me yeah
taking down a street mugger or some sort of rugby have you seen it wrong no it's probably been one
of the things i've been asked most of the people that friends people in our industry message and asking if it's me this incredible basically someone it
looks like someone's been mugged or something and as the guy's running off and it is to be fair a
complete the look-alike is amazing he jumps across he rugby tackles this guy and then another
look-alike madly of claire balding choke holds the holds the guy who's from a committed
Do you reckon it was like a lookalikes work day?
It could have and to be fair
the two people out having a fag
because no one knows who they are could be Claire Balding
and lookalike of Tom Davis
but I have to
say that I'd love to chat to the
guy who it actually was if anyone knows
this actual person because
what an incredible human being
but it isn't me I need to hold my hands up on that I actually still who it actually was, if anyone knows this actual person, because what an incredible human being.
But it isn't me.
I need to hold my hands up on that.
I actually still, I've said it on both Instagram and Twitter that it's not me, but still I'm being besieged
by people messaging me saying,
what a legend, sweet, sweet soul.
I can't take the credit for another man.
Well, well done for not taking the credit on that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because it would feel like literally Superman
saves the world and
it's a guy looks a
bit like Clark Kent
who's shaking
everyone's hand
well done
yeah but we could
put that video up
on our socials
could the actual guy
please get in touch
if you know the guy
get in touch
somehow
yeah are we going
to have them on the
podcast
we could do just see
how much he actually
looks like me
maybe like if he
comes from your town or your hamlet,
get in touch.
Okay.
Steve, hope that helps.
I'll start aggressing to a massive degree
and hardly giving you any advice.
Okay.
The next email is from The Polar Bear.
It says,
Anon, please.
Love the podcast.
Podcast.
What are you drinking
by the way
well I drank
back on the good stuff
have you worked out
this morning
no no
I haven't worked out
for a couple of days
I've had a bit of a
groin problem
I um
yesterday
dropped a dumbbell
on my finger
oof
um
and it started
pissing blood
absolutely everywhere
where from the fingernail
yeah
from underneath the
fingernail
fuck what are you lifting what dumbbells are you rolling with at the moment uh I was doing it started pissing blood absolutely everywhere. Where from? The fingernail? Yeah, from underneath the fingernail. Fuck.
What are you lifting?
What dumbbells are you rolling with in the mode?
I was doing an over, you know the row, the bent over row?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
28.
28?
Is that a lot?
Yeah.
That's pretty good, bro.
Yeah, you've completely shocked me there.
I'm asking, what are you doing?
Like 98 or something?
No, no, no.
I think about 35 to 38.
I actually joined it.
I actually got invited to join somebody else for their workout.
Wow.
To the podcast.
I used to go to school with him.
Amazing.
How was it?
Well, it was humiliating.
You know, like he kept saying to me, don't worry.
People don't look and people don't care.
Do you do the weight that you're supposed to do?
I still found it quite humiliating.
I mean, it's enjoyable, but it's humiliating.
Yeah, but you're in trouble, bro. I'm doing less than half the weight that you're supposed to do i still found it quite humiliating i mean it's enjoyable but it's humiliating yeah but you know the trouble bro if you i'm doing less
than i'm doing less than half the weight that he's doing yeah but same age he's yeah but he's been
giving his life to the gym but you've got a bit in context right look this might feel like the end
right we are all on different roads we're on different motorways my friend right what's better
than getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite mcmuffin getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite mcmuffin for only four dollars plus
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Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump.
Will you join me in France for a new reality show?
Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt.
Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests.
And of course, they'll have to meet my my standards and not everybody has what it takes vanderpump villa has first class luxury and world-class drama i'll be there will
you vanderpump villa premieres april the 1st streaming on disney plus never ever be ashamed
keep your powder keep your powder dry you just got on the road a little later than he did
right you're down the gym and you're lifting weights,
whether they're half or a quarter of what he's lifting.
You're lifting weights with a G you never thought you'd lift weights with.
Take the victories where you get them, son, because they are seldom in life.
That's really nice.
That's better than the advice you get of Steve, actually.
Okay.
We're all fed up.
This is pretty hard to give Steve advice that didn't sound absolutely fucking...
That didn't sound like we were calling social services.
Love the pod, guys,
and caught up with everyone,
every episode chronologically,
even the fucking Aliens episode.
Ron, big shout-outs.
I'm a regular for the Love of Hip-Hop listener.
Thank you very much, BBC Radio 2 and BBC Sounds.
This email has been put into bullet points.
Background.
I got married way too young to complete the wrong person.
I was divorced by 25. I'm now 30. My girlfriend is 24. We points. Background. I got married way too young to complete the wrong person. I was divorced by 25.
I'm now 30.
My girlfriend is 24.
We met the same year I got divorced.
She was 19.
We'd been together for five years.
We met at work, and you never know there's any age difference when we get together.
We both had reservations due to the age difference,
but our mates and work colleagues encouraged us to go for it.
Our family and friends have never expressed any concerns or issues either, which helps.
We now own a beautiful home and live our happy life with our dog.
All in all, it's pretty well so far, especially considering where my life was before i met her however when
i'm with a friend group i often find myself trying to get reassurance i'm not some tragic old man
crashing the party i don't know other people's opinions bother me too much but i'm fully aware
that people no doubt have certain thoughts about me regarding the age difference i'm not ashamed
about my relationship in the slightest but it can be daunting when it first comes up in conversation
especially with new people.
I also worry about how the six-year age gap will affect us as I get older.
Is it unfair on her?
Sometimes I completely freak myself out with stupid shit,
like realising she was only four when 50 Cent Get Rich or Die Trying came out.
Questions.
What are your gut feelings when you heard I was 25 when she was 19 when we met?
Be honest.
What's your overall thoughts on our relationship age gaps?
You have any new personal experiences like this?
How do I stop overthinking
this silly bullshit at 2am?
Much love, the polar bear.
My guy,
my G.
Firstly,
you're thinking way too much
about this, my bro.
Way too much.
For a start,
Catherine, I think is,
I think she's six or seven years younger than me.
I think once you get after the 30s point,
I think it just doesn't really matter.
You know, I don't think it's a thing at all.
I think the first thing is you're with someone.
I mean, it does matter at a certain point, Prince Andrew.
Yeah.
But those...
After, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We didn't meet when Catherine was 11 and I was 18.
But look, I think that the main thing is
you've met someone right who makes you happy and you make them happy you got a good life you got
a happy life and i think that's a really really important thing that's where your main focus
should be on there is times of course when um you know the worst thing i've given this advice
is i'm sitting looking at myself with a yellow baseball pack.
Come on.
Talking about own your age, yeah?
Don't try and be younger than you actually are.
But the truth is, bro, it's that you have to look at, yeah,
you have to look, you found someone who makes you happy.
There's always going to be times.
The time I noticed age the most was, like, you go to nct classes right and there are people there who are like 22
and they're having their second kid i'm fucking 43 i literally was sitting there thinking i could
have been this guy's dad i could be the fucking dad of any of these people here who are having
their first child i'm having my first but you've you gotta throw those things out your head man it's nothing but you're half the time in life and it's the same thing as
what i'm talking there about the gym right we we put ourselves in a situation we're all culpable
of it of thinking people are thinking of us in a negative way or judging us for a certain thing
that we're doing whether that's being not lifting enough weights in the gym or wearing a certain thing or dating someone that we think oh people are going to judge us upon that
thing but actually in life most people are going to look and go absolutely good for you you know
i'm good for you for doing that thing good for you for being happy let let someone if they're
if they're going to judge you and say something deal with that problem otherwise let them fucking
have to sleep this night and let them get angry about it because you're doing nothing wrong apart from leading your
life and being happy so smile um give your missus a cuddle from me and rob shink a little
and just yeah keep being you bro because it's head of a polar bear listen uh when i heard that
you were 25 and she was 19, it didn't register at all.
I mean, I think this is like a made up.
I mean, all insecurities are made up.
But what I mean is you don't have to worry about this.
This is like a nothing.
This is a nothing.
Absolute nothing.
You're happy.
You've got a dog.
You're living that life.
Let this be the last time that this concerns you.
Okay?
Do you. Be happy. There's nothing to worry about. you're living that life let this be the last time that this concerns you okay do you be happy
there's nothing to worry about
you're
how old are you
six years older
so when you say
that she was four
when 50 Cent released
Get Rich With Diary of a Trot
you were ten
yeah
what do you think
you know
what's the age difference
between you and Lise Lise
she's a year younger
oh yes yeah
it's weird as well because yeah yeah, I always think that if,
like Catherine is far more fucking grown up than I am.
That's probably another thing.
She's far more like with it than I ever am.
But it's a bit like me and you doing a podcast together.
What do you mean?
Like sometimes you can have friendships with people
who are quite a little bit older than you are.
Well, we're the same age.
You're, like, a year and a half older than me.
So it's like, yeah.
Pretty much the same age.
I'm, like, the same age as Lisa, basically.
Yeah, you are actually, yeah.
If anything, Polar Bear, I'd say this email has made me
and Tom feel really old.
So why don't you go fuck yourself?
Good luck, mate.
Hi, Wolf, Al, swan and cat this is the Dumbo Octopus
so glad you're back
I've just listened to you
talk about your friend
giving his socks away
what?
can I just say
what a legend
because although I can't say for certain
I can confidently assume
being a woman that often goes out
in uncomfortable shoes
uncomfortable shoes myself
that she didn't wear them
with her shoes but instead of she could take her shoes off and
walk on the street without hurting her feet and keeping them clean but we will walk in bare feet
if we have to hope this helps so actually i need to apologize to my friend i would apologize to him
but also i would say this if you are in a situation where you go out on a number of occasions and you
need to take your uncomfortable shoes.
Personally, I don't think anyone should wear uncomfortable shoes,
a pair of shoes that they get that uncomfortable in.
Yeah.
And I feel for women.
I've had to wear high heels for a number of roles,
and they're not very comfortable to wear.
No.
Right?
I would say this, though.
Why don't you really treat yourselves?
And at the end of the night, you've got your own pair,
like in your nice handbag or whatever you've got, get you have like a pair of really like you know those
grippy socks yeah they've got almost like a soul to them yeah like at the end of the night you're
like oh man i can't wait to get in there yeah because it's a hell of a risk to walk around a
bar having to ask a stranger if you can buy this i'd accept this if it was illegal for women to
buy socks yeah yeah yeah the socks are readily available personally i think
you know what as well i think women look hot in a nice pair of socks i do i think like it always
cuts me back to like rachel monica and friends all cuddled up in a pair of like nice yeah comfy
socks yeah okay um this email is from great dane and the the Emperor Tamarin. Wow. Do you think they're like the Great Dane?
Or like who would,
like the Emperor Tamarin's really thought about their name,
weren't they?
The Great Dane just,
I'll just call me the Great Dane.
Who are you going to be?
I bet they had an argument afterwards.
Well,
you've just got to be something regular.
I'm the Great Dane.
Yeah,
well,
I've just had to be the Emperor Tamarin.
So,
I have to go with that.
Put it in the email.
I've sent the email. I'll click send now. The to be the Emperor Tamarin so I have to go with that put it in the email I've sent the email I've clicked send now
the wolf and the Emperor Tamarin
to the wolf and the owl
and the lovely swan and cat
me and my best friend
for that matter of six years
debate a lot in the house
but mainly a lot of useless things
probably why we both
love the podcast
oh
probably why we both
love the podcast
and why we always
probably why we both love the podcast and while we always come home and laugh together about the
stories you tell on the pod no need to dish any more of that out those are compliments won't hit
home to you two sweet sweet self-deprecating souls one particular debate however we want to
take straight to both of you to resolve is to hear which side of you two cut you to come out on
the emperor tarin is currently tamarin is currently one of his periods of being a fitness freak and came out with the line i can't wait to lose a bit of weight
i'll get a bit more dick which i the great dame found simply ridiculous we discussed biology at
length and my argument is though although you may be able to see more tamarin tail from your
perspective you you don't get any more usable shaft his argument is that there's fat even below
the classic gut line
which when you lose weight will slim down revealing more actual pain which side of this
dilemma do you agree with thank you for choosing where you know whichever side you both take as
tom davis gospel facts and live it to the max i would we'll take as tom davis gospel facts and
live it to them okay so you just care what tom says keep what you you're doing. Love from the Great Dane and the Emperor Tamarin.
Wow.
Who are Dan and Matt in Leeds, by the way.
They've given their real names as well.
Yeah, Dan, you and Matt.
The Great Dane and the Emperor Tamarin.
Do you know what?
I kind of agree with the Emperor Tamarin.
We've both lost a bit of weight.
I will say that, you know, you do look like you...
I mean, I say you do, but I'm not talking you. I'm talking as you do look like you I say you do
but I'm talking as a person
because I've not seen your penis
I've not seen your penis since you've lost all the weight
I showed you just before
didn't I? I sent you the before pic
which I did completely naked
I didn't realise people don't do that
That would be such a brilliant thing
to do to a personal trainer
just take some pictures of you
completely naked holding a newspaper
just a picture of you
I don't know if you can see that
from the picture I sent you originally
but yeah I've actually lost quite a considerable
bit of weight from where I'm going
I do think you do lose weight
just from that little bit that's sort of...
Yeah, the pouch.
Yeah, the pouch.
Sort of, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to say this.
I am coming out in favour of the Emperor Tamron here
because I think since I've lost weight...
I don't know if there's more usable shaft
because that shaft has remained unused.
But what I would say is
you definitely do notice a difference, I think.
I think, think like sometimes
yeah your penis
could look like it was just sort of sitting on a
fucking really doughy piece
of bread do you know what I mean
or on a sort of bun or something
like a proven loaf
yeah you know like a bake off where you see
a loaf proven someone's just gone and
sort of stuck something in
they've got the tub with the cling film on yeah yeah yeah and mine doesn't look quite
as bad as that like that at the moment um actually what we're talking about is i did have someone
messaged me the other day saying that the way that me and you talk about our weight is so negative
just about they they were offended that we talk about yeah we've had being overweight we've had a few emails like that
and I just want to say that it's not a matter of
me being negative about being overweight
or Romney
it's how I feel
or how Rom feels about how we feel about ourselves
look if you're happy in your
own skin and you're happy the way you look
honestly
that's commendable
the reason I wanted to lose weight is because I wasn't happy
and I wanted to be fit and I wasn't happy in how I looked
and how I felt in myself.
And I don't want to insinuate that people that are overweight are not sexy.
Rick Ross, sexy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Barry White, sexy.
Yeah.
Lizzo, sexy as hell.
Sexy, yeah.
So we're not saying that, okay?
We're just saying that we are tragic.
Yeah, and that's down to, you know,
and if I'm going to be completely honest with you,
I have lost weight.
Am I infinitely happier?
No, not really.
I've just found other things to, like,
fucking waste my time being worried about.
What happens is you uncover,
it's basically the fat has sort of disappeared
to reveal different hang-ups.
Yeah.
That can't be exercised away.
Yeah, like being
bored yeah like i still don't have an ass yeah yeah less of an ass now
it's just yeah so yeah um if i'm honest with you what losing weight has taught me is that i probably
should have spent a little bit more money on going to therapy um speaking to someone who can
any of those demons but look for you yeah I'm
with I'm
with the
what's it
called
terramine
tamarin
tamarin
I'm with
the tamarin
I think you
can lose
weight around
the penis
and yeah
add to
those
millimeters
on that
highbrow note
it's time for
us to close
out the
podcast
Tom Davis
good to do me the honors
and take us out please socks and shoes jeans and jumpers hats and glasses what is it that makes you
who you are a rarer skirt that you wear out at christmas day that makes you feel like a million
bucks a pair of tight overbearing jeans that makes you dance a little bit quicker a sports jacket
that makes you walk through a tube station thinking you own the world thing about dress
and the clothes we wear is yes clothes make you the man but sometimes it's just having something
that you wear upon your body or wear upon your way that makes you believe that little bit more in yourself.
It's a state of mind.
So actually, we shouldn't put so much emphasis on what we wear,
nay, what we perceive to be the look that we've been searching for.
Make the little elements of your brain, the sports jacket
or the pair of chelsea boots that
you've been looking for find a way in your own head not to have to buy some fashion to make you
feel well and feel better know that the fashion dance that you walk and the catwalk of life is
always going to be there and you can always march down it knowing that you my friend always are decent really love that really love
that especially as you're delivering all that while looking the drippiest i've ever seen you
but good right if i'm honest with you i about halfway through i don't know if you noticed i
you know what i've got a lot of respect for is priests and people who do religious sermons
went to a christening recently
and the guy told the same story four times
but told it with such conviction
I didn't realise it was the same story four times
until I left about two days later
that doesn't sound something worthy of respect to be honest
he told the same story over and over again
you just added different bits to it
oh okay
well look thank you so much for listening to
the wolf for now a bit of a relaxed sunday morning vibe on this yeah i would like to play to take us
out jt friend of mine friction friend of the podcast is releasing an album called after dark
drum and bass bangers uh and there's a tune on it that i really like called weed and wine so jt
could you take us out with a little bit of weed and wine?
We will see you next time on this little roller coaster that we like to call the Wolf and Owl Podcast.
Bye-bye. Relax, I'm one Pour some liquor up in your car So have a little weed and one
Tell me, do you feel alright, my love?
Sit back, relax, rewind
Pour some liquor up in your car
If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all,
please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.
That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you,
mainly because we don't have any content ideas.
Thank you.