Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 18: Halloween Rom & Pancake Problems
Episode Date: November 2, 2022We’re talking… broken phones, missing merch, halloween party costumes, spoilt roasts and hotel pancake problems, boxing for babies, TV series quitters and arthouse cinema bores. Plus, email questi...ons on not being homesick, coping with a long-distance relationship and toddlers peeing in public. For questions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: HELLO@KEEPITLIGHTMEDIA.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Yum. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? a.m. That's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows.
Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing.
They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing.
Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing.
All you hear is a huff, a puff and a...
Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping.
Impressive, innit? The death bringing, it's head spinning.
Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and Owl.
I'm Shrug and April and Tom Davis.
We are in your fucking ears.
We're going to do the podcast like this.
Yo, electric.
Electric.
This is my first one with AirPods.
Yeah, how are you finding it?
Well, you know what?
I'm using the classic Apple Air pod instead of our old friend Samsung
Got say these new Apple air pods are amazing. This isn't a firm. Just saying yeah
Can I just
Well done for managed to continue to talk with that corporate dick. Well, why are you making it out like?
We're sponsored by Apple. I'm just saying it's like I always thought Samsung were amazing.
But now I've got these Apple things in the air.
They're pretty incredible.
I'm loving the vibe.
Have they said something to you?
No, no, no, no.
I brought them at the airport.
Shout out Christopher, the young man who upsold me them.
And yeah, I'm just loving the vibe.
Christopher rubbing his hands together.
Fucking idiot.
We had a massive panic. I'm in Gran Canaria Christopher rubbing his hands together this fucking idiot we had a massive panic
as we
I'm in Gran Canaria
at the moment
sorry yeah
Tom Davis
is currently in
Gran Canaria guys
Gran Canaria
as the local
Gran Canaria
and
literally
as we got to the airport
Catherine's phone
just died
wouldn't switch on
it was fully charged
just wouldn't switch on or anything so I was tasked with trying to get it fixed and i had to run
i ran into the sort of at the airport you were talking yeah yeah yeah he was looking after the
baby i ran into the electric store like absolutely panicked like you know thinking i'm gonna probably
have to buy a new handset what do you do or get like a foreign phone contract out here i went up
and went mate can
you help me what's your name please and he was like christopher christopher can you help me
please mate this is what the situation is right he he gets the phone and basically but does this
thing where he presses the volume buttons a bit presses the umber and i went do you think you can
fix it and he just held it up and showed it to me and it was fixed i was like oh my god that's like
the coolest thing I've ever seen
and he was like
tell your lady
she seriously has to update
that phone
oh why
why'd she got to update the phone
she's not done an update
for about two updates now
and if you don't
that's what can happen
you can go through that
where it cuts off
I don't think I've ever
updated my phone
you have
it'll be doing it
behind your back
I reckon
I think
I think I'm on IOS
like one
you definitely
you've definitely
updated your phone somewhat
look at this backdrop by the
way oh my god look at this life you're living right it's swaggy did you deliberately did you
how much have you thought about the backdrop that you're gonna have for this uh do you know
you know what room i'm in i'm in the manager's uh office why because there's the wi-fi i i was
panicked the level of panic i've had for this to do this abroad like thinking about how
quality the wi-fi could be um one of the first things Catherine was literally so embarrassed
when the first things I said when we get got here I said like I you know I run a podcast
with Romesh Rankin Nathan didn't know who you are Rankin area didn't know who they were so
um and uh I need like uh somewhere the wi-fi is good and the manager is like okay let me think
and then he comes back to me you didn't say I run a podcast with Romesh Rankin Nathan please And I need somewhere where the Wi-Fi is good. And the manager is like, okay, let me think.
And then he comes back to me. You didn't say, I run a podcast with Romesh Ranganathan.
Please tell me.
Well, I said, Romesh does most of the legwork.
No, I said, I was trying to explain to you where I showed a couple of pictures of you and stuff.
Why?
Just in case you knew.
I'm always interested to see how far your flag flies.
And it doesn't fly as far as Gran Canaria, it turns out.
No, I've been in Spain where people know who you are, in Italy.
English people?
No, no, no, no, foreign people.
Okay.
One of my friends who's out in Italy,
and he often says he tells people about you and stuff out there.
I think in Milan you've got a bit of a fan.
Of this one friend of yours?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.
He's been showing people videos and shit,
like your Apollo set and all that stuff. Yeah, great, great.
How have you been, my bro? By the way, I love that you
are dropping the
merch. Yeah, you like that, yeah? Yeah, it's nice.
I mean, you say merch. These aren't on sale, are they?
I don't think they are, no. We should
probably put them on sale. They're nice. This is a prototype we
were given about over a year ago
that we were asked
to feed back on
and we haven't done
we never have
do you know
I'm not devastated
I actually gave mine away
that night
it was the night
of Hackney wasn't it
do you know what
this is so
it's so classic
because what happened was
is we did the Hackney show
and the response we got
was amazing
and I know what happened
you got carried away
like you're fucking Springsteen
on his last ever show.
What did you do?
Did you throw it out into the crowd?
Throw it out the window.
A few people gagged and waited for taxis.
But I thought they were waiting for us.
There's a taxi driver somewhere wearing a wolf an hour
thinking it's an NFL team.
He thinks it's some sort of label he's not heard of yet.
It's just on the edge of going big.
I've heard this is the new Balenciaga.
Have you got any Wolf and Owl stuff?
Yeah, I've only ever seen the one hat.
I just found it.
Yeah, I saw a big guy walking with a hoodie on.
They're going to be absolutely gutted though
because I found out that actually there's an absolute dog shit podcast that's got the same name.
Should we talk about your big Halloween night? Boy, that looked good.
Yeah, we can talk about the big Halloween night. Yeah.
Your number one, I say you looked absolutely drippy in the Mario. Mario and Luigi,
shout out Martin.
Yeah, mine too smooth martin had the idea of
us going as mario and luigi who got the costumes mine can i just say costume wise halloween wise
i think you and martin absolutely perfectly navigated it you think so i think there's a
real fine spot in in halloween costumes where you've tried enough that it looks good and you
look you look banging but you haven't tried too hard it looks like you've
been fucking planning it for seven months yeah i had to remortgage your house yeah a lot of people
do that don't they go big i've got friends who spend so much time and so much effort on a halloween
costume or doing their house up for halloween i generally look at them and think if you put this
kind of effort into anything else you'd excel at life so much more than, you know,
you know, literally.
And then you'll,
for the rest of the year,
you'll speak to them and go,
I hate my job.
I hate what I do.
And you're like,
remember Halloween when you made that costume,
right?
Like,
you know,
where you made the alien chest that actually fucking exploded out of your,
your actual chest.
Yeah.
That was,
that was incredible,
wasn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why don't you look at doing something like that that you enjoy?
Yeah.
And you'd be incredible at it.
Yeah.
Are you,
are you suggesting that I become a costume maker yeah man so i've two
friends i could actually i think would be amazing at that yeah i i like someone when they put hardly
any effort into halloween they look really shit and it's just really just just about possible
yeah the only issue with the mario costume is it requires complete uh removal in order to take a piss.
Oh, really?
I say complete removal, you can have it around your ankles,
but do you really want to use a toilet
in a nightclub?
Pick the costume up off the floor
and put it back on your body.
So you have a sit-down waist?
Well, I always have sit-down waist.
What?
Yeah, I like a sit down way
in those situations
even when you're
out and about
yeah I mean
I'll be honest with you
it's difficult to position
over the urinal
football
football
toilets at the football
oh god
disgraceful
I mean
let's not get into this
and be disgusting
but
the truth is
I often
just try and hold it in
until I can piss somewhere that's more suitable
for my yeah my excretion um but um the halloween party was good martin too smooth was amazing dj
miss candy was amazing jaguar skills played one of the best sets i've ever seen in play it was
unreal becky hill turned up did a little pa oh you're joking no it was like treat after treat the one thing i
would say is i arrived drunk at the at the party right right and party wrong party wrong in full
force and so when i believe i hear yeah this one was there yeah she was smashing back the rum and
cokes and then um i love this she's never been to one of those and she's always been slightly
confused as to what it is I do
at these parties.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm confused.
I know you get leathered
and you sort of do that dance
that you do on the stage.
I know you very much
and this is with full love
because he's one of my favourite people.
You're very much and this is this is this is with full love because he's one of my favorite people you're very much nicky burn of the uh this this scenario so martin and i kind of do a bit of a double act when we go up on when martin's playing right a little like mc dj combination
thing yeah and i'd had i'd had enough drinks to think that i was on fire right like i really like
martin goes you cool to do this?
And I go, mate, don't worry,
I fucking got it, right?
Just gave Lisa, like,
the biggest kiss
you've given her for so long.
I said to her,
look,
just try
not to be dazzled
by what you're about to say,
do you know what I mean?
And then I walked out of there.
And I was, like,
emceeing,
I say emceeing,
I'm not an emcee,
I'm just sort of hosting it,
do you know what I mean?
I'm not emceeing, do you know what I mean? I'm not emceeing,
do you know what I mean?
And like,
Martin and I discuss
what to play next
and shit like that,
and you know,
Martin's like,
Martin always plays for the crowd
and I always play for my,
I always say,
can we just put some
really hard hip hop on?
Which the crowd like actually,
the crowd were amazing,
they were great,
so thanks to everyone
who came out to hip hop
saying my Halloween.
It was a nice night,
great night,
stayed in town because I was going to the arsenal the next day the downside of my drunkenness is that i got tagged in some insta stories oh and this is why i hate i love you with all my heart
but this is why i hate you why can't you have shared these because i i can never see them now
the disparity between how i thought i was being on stage and how it turns out I was actually being on stage
is quite fucking remarkable.
At one point, I'm in training Jaguar skills,
and I thought I went,
this guy is one of the best in the game,
which he is.
This guy's one of the best in the game.
Make some fucking noise for the legend.
Jaguar skills.
That's what I thought I did.
This is what I actually did, it turns out from this story
Jaguar Skills
is up next, make some noise
make some noise, shut the fuck up
that's not enough noise, that's not enough noise
you pricks, make some, I said
make some fucking noise for fucking
Jaguar Skills, like that
horrible man, and every
clip's like that, every clip's like that
you're doing your Chandler Bing dance
as you were doing it
there was a lot of dancing man
there was a lot of dancing
loving the dance moves
so Lisa went home
in the morning
I stayed in town
nice
and then the next day
I went to watch Arsenal
and
oh my god
what a game
oh man
so basically
Lisa went home
she said I'm going to do
race dinner tonight
nice
and then she goes
what time do you come back
I said game finishes at 4 I'll be back about six i went with ed friction another friend of
the show yeah and we stayed for an hour drinking after the game you kind of have to by the way
because i'm imagining decent seats yeah yeah like me me and you've yeah i find that after the
football whatever wherever i like i like an hour just to sort of decompress that after the football, wherever I like, I like an hour just to sort of decompress
after the football,
just to chat,
go through the game.
And also,
I don't really like leaving
when everyone else is leaving,
to be honest.
I don't...
Well, the trains are a nightmare, aren't they?
Yeah.
So, left the game
and bearing in mind,
I've told Lisa that I'm going to be at home
for six o'clock.
I leave the stadium at 5.30.
Oh, man.
We're on our way home. We're just chatting and stuff.
And then Ed says to me,
let's grab a pint
on the way home.
One pint becomes two.
Two pints become... Well, actually, it stayed at two.
Anyway, I arrive at
8.30. The dinner's in the
oven, having to be kept warm because I haven't been clear enough on when I arrive at 8.30. Wow. The dinner's in the oven, having to be kept warm
because I haven't been clear enough when I'm getting back.
Oh, man.
And I walk in pretty much steaming.
Sit down at the table, can barely get the roast potatoes in my mouth
without fucking dropping it all over my fucking shirt.
And then in order to try and overcompensate for the fact
that I feel guilty for coming back,
just I'm needlessly complimentary about the dinner.
Do you know what I mean?
Just like every, oh my God, this broccoli is, you have done it.
Because people get broccoli wrong, don't they?
They get it wrong because it's either crunchy.
Or cook it too much.
I bet the water wasn't even green with this.
I bet your time was just right.
I can tell you salted the water.
You salted the water.
You seasoned the water.
That's Himalayan salt, right?
That's Himalayan salt.
So anyway, I basically spent most of the weekend
sort of on the edge of being like sort of drunk.
And now today is not good.
It was not a good day for me.
What hung over?
I don't know if it is hung over, you know,
because I didn't get really that battered last night.
I mean, I sort of passed out in front of the,
not passed out, that's an exaggeration.
I fell asleep in front of the TV.
Yeah, but what you found yourself in is a drunken stupor.
Correct, yeah.
I had a 48-hour drunken stupor, basically.
And then I just wake up kind of...
I don't know how to explain it.
I'm not hungover, but I've got the fog.
You know what I mean?
Like a little bit of...
Just a little bit of mist around the neural pathways.
Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm... Are you going to take... What are you doing today? Are you taking it easy? You've got a chill blade? yeah like a little bit of just a little bit of mist around the neural pathways do you mean that's
what i'm are you are you gonna check what are you doing today you're taking it easy you've got a
chill blade well relatively chill blade i'm not going out anywhere but um i am doing my first
day's writing on the ranga nation for this week because it's like monday tuesday wednesday right
and thursday record so um yeah i would say that I'm going to struggle
to think of funny things about Rishi Sunak today.
But we'll see.
We'll see.
Actually, I was at the gym this morning
and I bumped into...
Actually, it's Dan, the guy, the lifting straps advisor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I told him about my weekend and he sort of laughed,
but he also had a look in his eye as if to say you're 44 years old
I don't think this is cute anymore
do you know what I mean
you've got to be careful
we are coming to an age
where that behaviour
is I don't know what age
that stops being cool
I've surpassed it.
I'm way beyond it.
It's not cool.
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The flip side of you, right, is I'm now in a position, right?
I'm away. I'm having an amazing time with my wife and my baby, right?
The thing I'm getting most excited about is the pancake station at the hotel I'm staying in.
And I've been here now for five, six days.
Yeah.
And we're here for another week and Catherine's like what is the score with I get really down if I walk it in and there's a
woman who's incredible at pancakes she's amazing when you say it's a pancake station can you give
me some detail what are we looking at so it's like a what you're looking at is yeah three hot
plates running consecutive times so you can get both of your pancakes at the same time.
Any topping pretty much you want on a breakfast crepe.
I'd say they're more crepes than pancakes.
I think it's, you know, I'd say she's a, the trouble is, right,
up until yesterday, the crepes have been faultless.
Yesterday.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Sorry, I'm really sorry.
I need more detail on these crepes.
So what kind of topping, what kind of toppings are you getting on these?
I'm a classicist.
You know me.
You know me.
I'm a lemon and sugar kind of G.
Sure.
On a Sunday,
yesterday,
maybe I,
I changed it up a little bit.
I thought Nutella and a bit of banana.
Nice.
That's my kids go to,
by the way,
Nutella and banana.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
That's good shit.
Which is,
yeah,
a very patronising way of saying that I'm a child.
No, no, sorry. I'm sorry. I forgot forgot you're a lemon and sugar connoisseur mr sophisticate anyway
so basically i got there yesterday and i see like the woman who's normally there not there
right there's a there's a new person at the crepe station. Who am I to judge?
Nervous?
Very nervous because the crepe is everything for me.
So my whole day is pretty much going to be dependent on how the crepes roll.
Poor Catherine.
Yeah, go on.
She spreads the crepe on the hot plate, right?
As she spreads it, it rips a bit and I sigh.
Right.
And she sort of looks to sort of say, oh, do you want it like this?
And I was like, eh, not really.
You know, is it okay to have a perfect crepe?
Why do you care if the crepe is ripped, by the way?
Because you want a perfect crepe, right?
Why?
Well, it doesn't affect the taste at all.
Mate, what it does affect the taste…
And also, you're having lemon and sugar on it, so we'll…
No, I'm not.
I'm not, because what was yesterday?
Sunday.
Oh, sorry.
This is where you…
I'm so sorry. I'm having Nutella, right? So when she flips it over and she puts Nutella on it so we'll i'm not because what was yesterday sunday oh sorry this is where i'm so sorry i'm not telling right so when she flips it over and she puts nutella on it what's
going to happen to nutella it's going to see it's going to go on the hot plate yeah it's going to
seep out mate and what i've got is it's all seeped out it's not the pot perfect crate pocket i was
after though i just sort of saw it and i say um okay to do again again, please? Oh my God! Please tell me
you're joking right now.
I was like, are we okay to do
another crepe?
Tom, please
tell me this is a joke. Are you
embellishing for the purpose of the podcast?
No, no, no. You demanded a second
crepe. I didn't demand.
Look at my face.
Is it okay to have another crepe? Right. And what would you have done if she said no? Well, no. I didn't demand. Look at my face. Yeah. Is it okay to have another crepe?
Right.
And what would you have done
if she said no?
Well, no.
I would have been
absolutely flabbergasted.
Like,
that is,
I think,
to be fair to her,
the second one,
she really cried.
She spent ages
getting her little thing wet.
Yeah,
because she didn't want
to have to do a third one
for this fussy prick.
And it was a lovely crepe.
You stood over there with a little bit of dribble fucking nest it was a lovely question you stood over there with like a little
bit of dribble fucking nestling in your beard you can hear your hear your fucking breathing on her
forehead as she tries to avoid putting a gap in this crepe but no but that i and like when she
passed it to me i was like gracias and like a thumbs up and a big smile um how do you feel you
handle that out of 10?
The trouble with me, right,
is I put a lot of pressure on situations that don't need pressure on.
So as soon as we walked in,
like I was talking,
every morning we'd go for a nice,
we have a walk with Grace,
we have a little two, three mile walk, right?
And as we're walking along, I'm like,
you know, I can't wait to get in the crepes.
When we walk in and I'd see that the crepe person's changed,
I said to Gaffer, no, no, I don't like the look of this,
if I'm honest with you.
I could see that the queue was long at times,
so I'd sort of got on with the bulk of my main breakfast,
just watching what was going on.
I had one eye on the crepe station.
God forbid you're not having stuff on top of the pancakes.
Yeah, go on.
So I've had my omelette
and my other bits and I'm just now looking
over and I'm thinking, I'll wait for a time
when there's not too many people around
because
what happens if there's three or four people
in the crepe queue and this is crepe
etiquette, everything goes out the window.
Which way?
With a standard that crepes because they
get the pressure the pressure mounts amounts amounts yeah you want to pick a window where
there's hardly anyone there lull about for a bit and then wait till you're the only person in the
queue if you can and then get over to it so rather than queuing you wait around the queue yeah okay
yeah yeah and wait for the queue to go down then i go and go yeah yeah after they've dealt with the
queue and dealt with all those people and they think
fucking thank
god for that
managed to make
it through that
little spike
oh god
why can I
feel breath
on the back
of my neck
and then I
just say
yo
hey
yeah
good morning
this is what
I'm after
kind of thing
do you feel
good about
demanding another
pancake is my
question
well now you
put it like you have.
Because other people might have gone thank you
gone away
left it a couple of minutes then come back and ask for a second
one so that woman never knows that she's
like, do you know what I mean?
So what you're saying is what I should have done is gone away
pretended I've eaten the said pancake
come back and go that was so delicious
Correct. And I'm saying
purely for her sort of
self-esteem yeah look there's a way there's a school of thought and what you're saying is
actually right but there's also a school of thought and saying then she for the rest of her
life she's giving up ripped old ripped out old pancakes yeah but i don't think anybody cares
like you do oh but this is a problem with society is once we stop caring about pancakes and
stuff and,
and like things not being done like to a level where everything just falls
apart.
The other woman,
she was here to that this morning.
Absolutely.
I smiled when I saw this morning and I was like,
Oh yeah,
I could just relax.
Where's your mate?
They'll say yesterday.
Oh,
she's,
uh,
she's been signed off with anxiety.
Because somebody made her feel like an absolute prick and demanded another fucking pancake because they had
a tiny gap in it. Yeah.
She's sobbing in the corner of the hotel.
We've actually
had to allocate, for the week that you're here,
a sobbing room for staff
where they've not made the things to your
will. I'm very chatty with the
staff. I'm probably overly friendly in chatting with them.
I make sure that I'm constantly on.
I have a laugh with them.
I get to know their names.
Yeah.
You're like, what's his name?
Eric Morecambe, aren't you?
What's Eric Morecambe?
What do you mean?
You know, like, apparently he was always on.
It was absolutely exhausting for everyone around him.
I've been around you in these situations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like apparently he was always on. It was absolutely exhausting for everyone around him. I've been around you
in these situations.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like,
we went to England,
Scotland.
You are just on
all the time.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Working the room.
Until I get into the bedroom
then I'm just
absolutely exhausted.
How many pancakes
do you normally
get in for a day?
One,
potentially two.
The rest of the time
I'm trying to eat
pretty clean
when I'm out here. I'm trying to eat pretty clean when I'm out here.
I'm trying to eat pretty healthy.
So what goes with your breakfast?
I usually have an omelette, some vegetables, a bit of frittata.
You really like those egg-based products, don't you?
Have a bit of scramble as well, do you, while you're there? Yeah, I like a little bit of scramble as well do you weigh there yeah yeah i like it
just katherine looking across the tongue quick question yeah have you heard of cholesterol
that that's you've just described six eggs worth of stuff by the way that's a half a dozen eggs
you're smashing away that's every morning yeah that's not a connor ben vibe isn't it
how many days
have you been there?
I've been here for six days.
All right,
so 36 eggs you've come from.
No, 30 eggs you've come from.
36, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That is Connor Ben vibes.
Have you seen the Connor Ben,
what he said?
Yeah.
How do you feel about it?
Well, I feel,
I was meant to go to the fight,
so I still feel slightly aggrieved
about what's happened
in five minutes of you.
It was like
a real,
we were having an old school lads night out.
I was really looking forward to it.
You know yourself,
right?
I mean,
actually you're,
you're,
I don't know myself.
What I don't know myself is why I wasn't invited to this lads night for the
boxing.
Beckett said,
Beckett said,
was it a podcast boxing night
you
off many
boys
you know
it's weird
we've actually
got a spare
suit
yeah
I'll tell you
what
give
Charlotte
three
I'll tell you
what was
cool though
is I
watched Katie
Taylor is phenomenal isn't she yeah Taylor is phenomenal, isn't she?
Yeah, she is phenomenal.
Correct.
I totally agree with that.
I absolutely, genuinely watch Katie Taylor.
I think she's technically one of the best boxers.
It was four people, but boxers I've ever seen in my life.
She's unreal.
I watched the highlights at the end of the fight
and tried to show Grace that she wasn't really interested.
Oh, God.
Don't become one of these don't become one
of these people please oh god you wrote an episode about this in king garu and now you're doing it
you know watching wise what we've me and katherine got into a really weird place where we started
watching the first episode of multiple series and not following it through. Yeah, Lisa and I like that.
We watch three or four episodes and then go,
do you still want to carry on?
I had it with This Is Us.
I've watched like, I watched two of them.
I've had it now with so many things, right?
Where, so we watched episode one of The Watcher, right?
Episode one of White Lotus.
Yeah, that's why you shat yourself at that restaurant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just watching episode one of everything. Do you know what you need to watch? Go on. The Bear. The Bear, that's why you shat yourself at that restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just watching episode one of everything.
Do you know what you need to watch?
Go on.
The Bear.
The Bear?
What's that about?
The Bear?
No, no, it's not to do with The Bear.
It's about a guy that goes back,
it's like his top-end chef that goes back
to sort of turn around his family restaurant, basically.
And it's just, it's unbelievable.
It is, I'd be amazed if you stopped watching after one episode of that.
It's incredible.
What's this on?
Disney Plus.
It's amazing.
I watched that and I started watching the We Tang Origin series as well.
Is that a drama?
It's a drama, yeah.
See, what I'm considering starting to do is just watching episode one of stuff
and then just in my own way, just writing what the rest,
I think the rest of the series is going to be like. That's a a great idea and also what that does do is it helps you be involved in
all sorts of conversations i mean yeah you don't ever have to you don't ever have to give away that
you've not watched beyond it yeah i really my i think they never really picked up after the first
episode for the first episode was uh also i just think it's quite nice to have an idea of the
watcher for example that you watch episode one and it looks like at the end of it looks like everything's going to turn to shit but you actually yeah what
i enjoyed after episode one actually they settled in quite nicely as a family it was all just a big
misunderstanding and the rest of it was just like a sort of funny sitcom where everyone just sort of
had a bit of a laugh i've been put off by watching the watcher because i keep hearing that the end of
the series is so bad that it undermines everything you've watched before it. Why did you stop watching after the first episode?
Because of what happened in the Chinese restaurant.
And also, if I'm honest with you...
My God.
My God.
My
God.
That and
I just don't think it
grabbed us enough, if I'm honest. Can I ask you a think it grabbed us enough if I'm honest
can I ask you a question
genuine question
yeah
I'm not trying to have a go
are you double screening
what do you mean
are we watching something else
at the same time
no
are you on your phone
while you're watching
no no no
we're pretty good with
if we start watching something
we'll sit and watch
we started watching
White Lotus as well
yeah I watched the first episode
of that and then I was out
I don't know yeah again we used to the first episode of that, and then I was out.
Yeah, again, we used to watch episode one of that, and now we're just trying to... So fucking... What a weird show, by the way.
But the trouble is, right, is because you compare everything to the classics.
Yeah.
The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Succession.
I mean, we're in this business.
We're such underlings in this business.
It makes me think, why has anyone watched anything that me and you made?
Don't say we're in this business after mentioning breaking bird and the sopranos
we're not in that business but we're in a business but i'm looking go for everything
when you watch white lotus or the watcher yeah like and when you're there must be people sitting
there going yeah what's going to go episode one i don't think we get into it or i watched
avoidance episode one it just was for me when into it, or I watched Avoidance episode one, it just wasn't for me.
When,
when Reluctant Landlord,
by the way,
I saw lots of those messages about Avoidance,
but when Reluctant Landlord came out,
I saw a tweet saying,
I just want Romesh,
at Romesh Ranga to know,
this is the worst thing I've ever seen on TV.
It's really important to me that he finds out that I know.
They said it's really important for you to find out.
Yeah.
Oh my God. Because they were so passionate that it was shit. And, and like, to me that he finds out that I know. They said it's really important for you to find out. Yeah.
Because they were so passionate that it was shit.
And like,
I do think comedy has that in a way that drama doesn't. Is that like,
the first episode of a sitcom, people
want, some people watch it wanting
to hate it. Or,
if it's not exactly tuned into their sense of
humour, they just like, they get angry.
People get angry. I don't know why it gives that reaction, but it does.
Yeah, because it's like them saying they don't get it.
So it's above their head or it's just not their humour.
Whereas your own sense of humour is very specific.
Do you know what I mean?
Specific, sorry.
Whereas if it's a drama, people will just sit sit and I've watched a whole series
of dramas
that I thought were
you know
just about okay
but they just kept you
because you want to see
what the ending is
you're not laughing
you're not held to
sort of any sort of task
other than just
sitting there watching it
whereas a comedy
you have to sit there
going am I laughing
and that's
that's a barometer
of success right
correct yeah
yeah
no you're absolutely right
really good analysis That's a barometer of success, right? Correct, yeah. No, you're absolutely right.
Really good analysis.
I'm really worried about... I am not bringing it today, man.
Why do I always say this?
In fact, I say this more than I say anything else on the podcast.
You know what, though?
I think we should do an episode where we're both drunk
and in party rooms in full force.
When do you want to do that?
You can't do that at the moment, can you?
We'll have to figure out... Should we do it for christmas why don't we make our christmas
why don't we make our christmas episode drunk one we should do christmas episode as a drunk episode
that's a great idea should we do it together in the room i don't want to be on a zoom yeah we
have to do it yeah we have to yeah do you ever do any of those zoom parties my god mate i did one of them it's so
depressing six of us on a zoom with like booze yeah trying to recreate so dreadful so and then
the most tragic thing is you can trigger your brain to think you're having a really really good
time and you're enjoying having a drink and a laugh right you can trigger that but the worst
thing and i suppose in a way it's a bit like the cab ride home of it after any fucking drunken night and then you close your laptop
and you're just sitting in a room on your own and katherine's asleep upstairs and i'm like oh my
god this is true i ended up creeping upstairs thinking this is tragic I was at a thing recently and a guy was, you know, like when, again, it's kind of an episode
drama thing.
Someone sort of introduced me to this guy and they're like, oh, this is Tommy's comedian.
He was like, oh yeah, yeah, cool.
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Cool.
Cool.
I was like, what do you do?
And he's like, I'm a filmmaker.
I make movies.
And I'm like, oh, right.
Okay.
Like anything I'd have seen.
He's like, like no like kind of
sort of very sort of avant-garde quite drunk you know i like stuff that's very art house and i was
like all right no one watches yeah um boring crap and then enjoy it congratulations
and he kept on just rubbing his nose every time he spoke like every every word out of his mouth
was an effort um but if like it was going to be really profound, everything he said,
anyway, he said, uh, the movie that I'm trying to construct at the moment is
it, it's about toxic masculinity and it's about gladiators and it's about,
it's about them and how they lived.
And I was like, okay, oh, nice.
Amazing.
That's true.
It sounds really good.
He said, but the whole thing is just told through one character's face.
And I was like, wow, what the whole thing?
He's like, yeah, so if there's death,
if there's violence,
we hold on this one character's face for the whole movie
when he's moving through the world.
So it was like, you know, like the old computer game,
but you're seeing the outside with the gun. What's it was like you know like the old computer game but you're seeing
the outside with the gun
what's it called
Doom
right
so with Doom
you see opposite of Doom
so I'm like
please tell me
please tell me you didn't say that
you didn't say that to him
yeah of course
I was like
trying to get into my head
oh yeah I get it
it's the opposite of Doom
did you say those words to him
yeah yeah
I was like it was Doom
but instead of watching
the world around him
you were just watching the guy's face right and I was like, he was doing but instead of watching the world around him, you're just watching the guy's face. Right. And he was like, um will zoom in closer to his face
and it will hold his nose in his eyes
and you'll see the fear or the anguish
and then will come out when things are more stuffed.
Listen, I don't want to judge this guy.
That sounds absolutely dreadful.
Yeah, I know, but how would you even know what's going on?
Well, he's talking, I assume.
It's not a silent move, is it?
I mean, I assume he's interacting.
Yeah, but you don't see the people he's interacting to. No, sure. If silent move is it i mean i assume he's interacting yeah
but you don't see the people he's interacting to no sure if he says if he says oh dad you've
been shot i can guess what's happened there right number one right before you fucking send
off any film scripts come to me because you can't you're never gonna say oh dad you've been shot in
a movie yeah but no oh my god dad they shot you i'm not i'm doing it
deliberately kind of
yeah yeah you'll
hear the gunfire and
then someone yeah
my god they've shot
dad no i'd say
that's what they
said no but
here a gunshot and
then he goes dad
there you go yeah
yeah yeah yeah
like where did they
get you
they got me but if
that's holding on
that guy's face
yeah i'm not saying
it's good but i'm
saying you'll be able to follow so i mean if you had glasses on and you can see a reflection would be quite
kind of cool that's a great idea that's a really good idea if he had mirrored sunglasses and then
they get real close and you can see the lens of the camera and such you know how mirrors work yeah
do you like art house films no not really or you know i do sometimes you see a film and you think like
i don't know every time every now and again you come across one and you just think oh that is
actually quite good but the what you're describing there and i'm speaking to somebody who's not a
i'm not a film connoisseur i'm not a film buff i don't really know what i'm talking about i would
say i'm out of my depth talking to you about films because some of the stuff you say i just
your insight is great yeah but the trouble is there's certain stuff that i watch i just don't like you know drive yeah i just didn't i didn't
fall in love with that drive but i think there's a difference between like sort of being trying to
do something different there's a bit between that there's a difference in that and trying to do
something different because for the sake of being different yeah do you mean where like where the
film becomes a victim of this kind of trick they want to do or whatever do you know what i mean like but this this guy also was like
he was he was you know in like you're he was just so steaming i'd had a few drinks i was
buzzy but he was steaming yeah yeah and every time i heard him talking to anyone i could just
say it's like it's really avant-garde. It's really, and the more people,
to give this guy,
actually,
the props of all props,
I saw him explaining this film to at least seven or eight people,
right?
And pretty much all of them
had the same response as I did.
Right?
He never once lost any fucking,
he was still consciously
talking about it,
like,
you know,
in a couple of years,
it'll win an Oscar.
Really?
Yeah.
He had such confidence in it.
And maybe it will. You know, maybe he'll have the last laugh. I didn win an Oscar. Really? Yeah. He had such confidence in it and maybe it will.
Maybe he'll have
the last laugh.
He didn't even get his name.
Yeah.
And then when he's
collecting the Oscar
he'll just go,
you know the people
doubted me
saying I was trying
to make a reverse Doom
when I first started
making this movie.
One guy could barely
understand what you're saying
with all the Nutella
and banana falling
out of his chops.
He's lurking around a pancake.
He had a pancake yourself with him.
Yeah, had chocolate spread down his top,
I don't think he even noticed.
Disgusting.
If I'd have listened to him,
this film would have never got made.
Big fat hoes.
Right, should we need some emails
my G
let's do it my G
okay this from
the lost hedgehog
it says hi
wolf owl and
swan
ain't on please
hello from New
York
wow
NY the big
apple
or if they put
that in their
thing
no I'm saying
this I'm just
oh okay
why
no I thought
it was quite a
cool way if
they said ny yeah and then because it's me it's not cool that's what happened no no it's just
got the same gravitas as someone from new york but while we're talking about new york uh anybody
in new york i'm in new york in january doing a show so please come check it out what show are
you doing your tour show your new tour your old tour It's going to be a bit in between. Oh, nice, boy.
Because my show is coming out on Netflix
on the 28th of November.
Wow, that's big, boy.
Yeah.
So I can't do any of that material, obviously.
Because it'd be incredibly boring.
Yeah, but what you can do is you can revel in the acclaim
when you hit New York City.
Everyone's like, oh, my God.
Yeah.
I watched a Netflix special.
It's fucking sick, bro.
Yeah.
I go out there and go, well, nobody's really watched a Netflixflix special i'm sure i can do stuff from that and then i walk out
somebody goes love the netflix special then i get all in my head oh god you can't do anything from
that now what are you gonna do just start riffing just we all know that you've also in your back
pocket got this new talk you're about to buzz and fucking smash um hello from new york thanks for
the great pod i've been with you from the beginning thanks for getting me
through lockdown
I'm from the UK
but I've recently moved
to New York City
for my Masters degree
ooh
lost hedgehog
I'm feeling a bit
homesick
not just friends and family
but also for a stroll
around Sainsbury's
or Pizza Express
do you guys get
homesick when you're
touring
and can you recommend
anything to do in New York
or more generally
to remind you of home
Tommy D the lost hedgehog is feeling very homesick can you help them out please
yo hedgehog my guy my g my friend you know what I truly believe is home is in your heart and it's
in your brain and it's in your the fibers that make up your DNA or your body. And sometimes you can associate places and things with home
and you put too much emphasis on that.
And actually, you in your own body are your own home.
So I think it's touching base with people
and like back at home and little conversations.
But it's about like finding your own, the new doubles.
You know, to be fair, i've never been to new york all of my analogies from about new york will all be through uh
watching guys i've seen yeah watching films i've seen so mate you need to find the best american
slice that you can that becomes you know a big big slice a big bit of pie. That will become your dough balls. You know,
find a 5.11 that becomes
your new Sainsbury's
and almost say
while you're walking
around those places,
just say something
like 5.11.
Why do you recommend
5.11 over 7.11
just out of interest?
It's 5.11 of things.
I don't think so,
actually.
I mean,
it might be.
It feels weird because I've heard of 7.11. I don't know why somewhere you go, oh, we're like 5.11 I think I don't think so actually it might be it feels weird because I've heard
it's 7.11
I don't know why
somewhere you go
we're like 7.11
but we're open
shorter
we're only open
five days a week
Monday to Friday
no
I can't find anything
oh you know what
I'm thinking of
a five and dine
oh I see
oh there's a 5.11
Chinese takeaway
in Sheffield
but my point is this is to go into those places like you know go into a 7-eleven and stroke the
shelves a bit and just be like oh i'd love it if you could imagine if you ever met a sainsbury's
right like you are a walking talking home you're you're way you come from you can never change that and
you know what this is gonna blow your mind when you leave New York and come
back to England there'll be a time when you're walking around Sainsbury's and
you look around you go yeah bro I fucking missed the 7-eleven mmm I miss
Joe's pizzeria whatever and that's the thing about it so listen i i'm gonna say we miss you as a net like over here
we miss you immensely in the power and the strength that you bring to us as human beings
um but go run wild be the the incredible human being you are and we'll see you on the flip side
my g uh lost hedgehog great advice once again from tom davis uh in answer your question have you
ever felt homesick yeah it happens to me all the time um i've talked about it on the podcast before
but i went to melbourne for a few weeks and uh to do the comedy festival there i went to sydney and
i did new zealand as well lisa and the kids stayed at home and uh i got drunk on the plane on the way
over there this won't be a surprise i got drunk on the plane on the way over there. This won't be a surprise to you. I got drunk on the plane on the way over there
and basically watched the film Lion and cried
for the entire duration to the point where
the staff on the plane started to become concerned.
And then the whole of my time in Australia,
I spent thinking about how I wanted to be at home.
I enjoyed the shows and I'm coming back to Australia, actually.
It's not been announced.
No, jeez,
you are really doing
some salesmanship on this.
What?
No, I'm just,
it just reminded me
that I'm doing Australia.
But I regret it.
I regret.
Just actually,
while we're doing that,
I know you're pitching
your shows
in New York
and Australia.
There's some tickets
left in Loughborough
for my working break.
Yeah.
Tom's got a work in progress show in Loughborough so if you're in Loughborough
and you haven't yet been tempted by the thought
of watching Tom meander his way
through some stuff he hasn't properly written
please do go check out
if you fancy watching Tom Davis say
I probably won't say that again, about 90 times,
please do head to the...
And swear a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, in all seriousness,
go and check out Tom Shannon Loughborough.
Loughborough, represent, man.
Turn out for our guy, Tom.
My guy.
But the point I was making
is I regretted not embracing Australia
as much as I did,
and I fully intended it when I go back.
But I understand where you're coming from.
It's very, very difficult. Here's what I think you need to think about this okay you're in one of the
greatest cities in the world okay you need to not think about what you miss from home and think about
what you're going to discover about where you are now New York is unbelievable right just before
lockdown I went there for a couple of I went there for a few nights i was doing some shows um a while ago and the food the nightlife the bars the theaters all of that shit
is unbelievable right so you got so many great tv shows and film there like studio shows and
shit like that throw yourself into it man do not engage with thinking about home engage with thinking about new york do you mean and just throw yourself into it, man. Do not engage with thinking about home. Engage with thinking about New York.
Do you know what I mean?
And just throw yourself into it.
Make it an adventure.
Do you know what I mean?
Don't think about what you haven't got.
Think about what you have got.
You've got fucking New York on your doorstep.
Go for it, man.
Always think as well.
Like, you know, Phoebe from Friends,
she turned up to New York and she knew no one.
And before you knew it,
she was like part of probably the greatest group of friends
that has ever existed.
She was one of easily the most superfluous
characters in the greatest sitcom ever.
So
think about that. Do you know what I mean?
Try and be your version
of Phoebe Buffay is what I'm saying.
Just any time that you can't think of a joke, say
Phalange.
That's what Phoebe said toalange try and find your monica joey rachel and so speaks chambler yeah i don't even say i don't even find him annoying can you even say his name
i find him so annoying he's the one person i've vetoed from that if i can get rid of any character
from any show ever it'd be chambler yeah Yeah. So more recently, I had this experience in LA
where we were doing a TV show,
and Lisa and the kids came out to LA,
and we lived there for four months or whatever.
And I couldn't get into it.
I was homesick.
Same reasons as you.
It almost feels embarrassing to say the things that you miss.
But I was homesick, and then I got into it
just by dint of how long we were there for.
I mean, every now and again, whenever we're watching something set in LA,
we actually weirdly feel homesick for LA.
It's only a place that we're in for four months.
But you will feel like that about New York.
I promise you.
I absolutely promise you.
But what you've got to do, and that will happen regardless,
even if you're being resistant.
But you can help yourself by embracing it.
You can make that happen quickly.
So congratulations on the Masters in New York City.
You know, that's what I always say.
You know, when you're walking around like New York or Barcelona,
you see people in those I Love New York t-shirts.
Yeah.
I think if you get one of those,
it's almost tricking your brain to sort of say that you love the city.
Yeah, I think that's great.
I think it's great.
Make it look like you're at the beginning of coming to america maybe get a hat and like a statue of
liberty crown and shit like that do you know what i mean like make something like an absolute
fucking cock is that what you're is that what you're saying no no every time then you look in
the mirror and you go yeah i miss home and then you'll look in the mirror and say i love new york
and you'll just go oh shit yeah why would i have brought this T-shirt if I didn't love where I am?
Yeah, it's a great thing to do, actually,
is if you are in a city and you're trying to make it feel homely,
dress as much of an outsider as you possibly can.
Make yourself look so touristy, it's unbelievable.
That's the best way.
Well done, great advice.
Good luck, Lost Hedgehog, with that.
Congratulations, by the way.
You are going to
have a fucking
great time
I promise you
I get a feeling
that one day
me and Rob
will be like
I don't know
fucking chilling
somewhere
and you'll walk
up and go
hey guys
thanks so much
for your advice
I'm the Last Hedgehog
and I love
New York City
why will they
have got an accent
now
would have been
over there for a while
they never came back
oh fucking
fucking you were absolutely right, Wolf.
And I was fucking great here.
Fucking having a fucking great time.
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Okay, next email. This is from the thoughtful Grizzly Bear.
What's up my Gs? First, I just want to say how much I love the positive vibes you guys spread is exactly what I've needed
recently and your hilarious anecdotes have left me
doubled over on more than one occasion
I've forgotten to say thanks to this one for selecting emails by the way
she gets really fucking angry
if I don't do that
I'm in the midst of a dilemma
between me and my partner we've been together for two and a half
years now and over the last year have lived together
but that recently changed our jobs have taken us
to different parts of the country I love my partner dearly and we've helped
each other through some really difficult times where we've been together i genuinely feel like
we've made each other better people isn't this sweet and we've helped one another deal with a
number of issues living together was amazing but long distance has had its difficulties
and here lies my dilemma next year my partner is partner is going travelling, something I fully support.
I'm not in the position to go as I've taken a long time to build my career to the point it is now.
And for various reasons, including financial, taking a year off is not something I want to do.
My partner fully supports me and I her.
We just both want each other to be happy.
But I feel like we're staring down the barrel of breaking up in order for us to both live our lives as we want to.
Would it be better to call time on it now and remain close and maybe rekindle things at another time any help from two sweet souls would be much appreciated keep up the
sound advice and wisdom love to you both from the thoughtful grizzly bear tom dave thoughtful
grizzly bear um shout out your bad self um so for the first i think eight months nine months of
mine and katherine's relationship was long distance where we'd see each other just weekends, lots of Skype and phone calls
obviously to sort of keep, you know, but we'll, because she lived-
Did you do sexy ones?
I found them really, really awkward. We both did. I think they're terribly awkward. I respect
anyone who can. I find myself in the worst situation when I'm doing those, I find them really really awkward
It's you sat on a zoom covered in your own tummy custard
That is literally one of the most puerile versions
of you that I've ever seen
You literally became like this really
sort of like rough grizzly bloke
in a fucking Wetherspoons
called Mac Yeah I'm so sorry i apologize anyway go on big mac um but i mean that you know that
is one of the situations you're going to have to discuss look i think the the truth of all this is
you know if you've been through the situation you've been through and you've been through the
ups and downs you have and you've been each other's rock but I think you could probably get through most things I think just to call time on something
prematurely is you know I get why that would be a school of thought on the basis you might
sort of keep close but yeah what are you throwing away and I think if you've got this beautiful
bond that you've got and it's worked for you, then I think see how it goes.
I think let them be free, let them fly,
let them have an amazing time,
knowing that when they get back,
you're building this incredible world for you both.
I'm a romantic at heart.
I always will be.
And I have faith that you, the grizzly bear,
will one day have a bear-esque,
a world-traveled bear rest on your arm and yeah yeah you'll have little cubs bear cubs so and i'll know a lot about different places
because mother would have traveled mother would have traveled um i had exactly the situation
happen although it was half the time i was going out with a girl and she went travelling for six months
and I found the goodbye difficult.
Did you cry at the airport?
I didn't cry at the airport, no.
I did cry when I got home, though.
Yeah.
What I would say to you is, it depends how strong your relationship is,
but a year is nothing.
Did the relationship carry on for you when she got back? Yes, it for a long time oh that's nice so i i think you can get
through this that's my opinion do you mean the one thing i would say that you need to be considerate
of and i think people make this mistake is if your other half is going traveling do not enforce on
them a specific time when they've got to get in touch
with you and shit like that because when you go away is shit that shit like that's hard
and you've just got to kind of be understanding of that that they're going to get in touch when
they can and like because what you want to do you'll want to go can we talk every week on
thursday at blah blah or can we talk every day and da da da or can we make sure we email each
other constantly it just doesn't work like that and then what happens is you start getting anxious because you haven't had that thing
that you agreed but they you don't know what they're up to do you know what i mean like that
it just could be hard you know if they're particularly if they're backpacking around
it's just very difficult to be able to get in touch with anybody so you have to kind of be
mindful of that but apart from that apart from that challenge and the challenge of them being away um i think you can make it man if you really want to you can make it so listen it will be i'm
not saying it won't be hard it will be hard and it'll be challenging but if you're really into
each other it's worth it so you know that's my advice i think as well it's worth saying actually
what and while they're away make sure that you keep as active doing new things,
hobbies and stuff.
You can't feel like,
yeah.
When they phone up,
they're not like,
Oh,
what have you been up to?
And you're like,
I'm not saying just missing you.
You want them to think like,
again,
it's almost like the same advice as before with New York.
It's go,
you,
but it's the opposite.
Go,
you go traveling in your brain that you have as many adventures as you can in the realms of the surroundings.
But then what happens? And then they phone up and you tell them
oh, I imagined doing this the other day.
Well, I don't understand how that helps.
So you imagine doing it.
But you go, they call up and go
oh yeah, I did it. Oh yeah, by the way
I won a tennis. I was in Barbados this morning.
And I met
Idris Elba and we hung out for the day.
Is that
what you're suggesting? No, I'm saying when I'm at Idris Elba and we hung out for the day is that is that what you're
suggesting
no I'm saying
when they call up
they go
how have you been
it's like
well I won
the tennis finals
this weekend
what the fuck
I didn't know you
played tennis
no I've taken it
out while you're away
I've just got loads
of new cool hobbies
so they think
oh fucking hell
like when they get
back there's like
you're like
there's so many
different things
going on.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh, what did you do this weekend?
I went cheese rolling in Stilton.
Yeah, I don't know.
Okay, yeah, yeah, sure.
What did you do?
I did a parachute jump in New Zealand.
Okay, cool.
So we're on a level. Anyway, good luck, Grizzly Bear. It's all going to be fine keep doing you
dear the wolf the owl and the swan i just want to start by saying i'm a huge fan of you both i
really love the podcast and recommend it to everyone i know i find it hilarious and love
hearing both of your perspectives on things this leads me to the question what do you think about
toddlers peeing in public?
I have a two-and-a-half-year-old who's out of nappies, so I'll have to pee when we're out and about.
He can't hold it for long, so we'll have to pop a squat on our travel potty if we're more than a few minutes away from a toilet.
For example, in a shop, cafes without toilets, shopping centres,
I'm as discreet as possible and will try to move somewhere quiet
and the contents are swiftly contained.
The whole thing probably takes about 30 seconds and saves him from doing it in his pants.
I also have a one-month-old baby,
which means getting to a toilet in a hurry is difficult
if he also requires attention.
Also, quickly manoeuvring the double-buggy
to small public toilets is tricky.
Is this gross?
I've asked a few different people,
with most saying that it's not okay.
If I saw another toddler doing it
in a travel port in a public place,
it wouldn't bother me at all.
But maybe my standards are completely warped.
Would love your thoughts.
Just to clarify, this only applies to wheeze not poos thank you very much mother goose
yeah mother goose uh i i think it's fine i think it's look i'm i'm i've not been in the realms of
having a toddler i'm still very much like we're having a baby i look i will say this basically
great uh on the way flying out here Grace got like the day before Grace's
temperature soared and then she was sick a couple of times and I was like oh shit like
and then she seemed fine the next day and then she just got a bit of a rash which was
absolutely terrifying as the flight took off we discovered she had a rash so
paranoia as a parent just goes right through your mind right it's horrible like the amount of things you're thinking it's terrifying uh and then about two hours into the flight she decided she she was
going to be because poo that she'd done in a long time i think people understand the fact that
they're babies or toddlers or children that you know they're going to do they have no control over
those situations and you are always going to do the best version of
trying to deal with it in a way that's not you know going to infringe as little as it can on
the people around you i mean on a plane or in a shop if you're a little one this way if your
little one wet themselves and there was wheel over the floor that's a lot more disgusting than them
going to the toilet and just doing it oh sorry doing it in a potty than they're in a little
travel potty i think that for me most people would be pretty understanding of that and
if then i i don't know if it was wrong or someone said to me very early you get to a point where you
think if people are going to be dickheads them it's like they're children they're babies or
toddlers they're not purposely doing things to fuck with people, arguably with their parents.
That's a time where they think grace saves up a poo
just to have, just as we get to a place.
But yeah, I think you're, Mother Goose,
I think you're well within your rights to what you're doing.
To be fair, I will probably do the same thing as you do.
I'll just look into a little travel potty
and I think it's the way to go.
A little tug of the arm and I need the toilet.
Boom.
I'm with you, Mother Goose.
Romski.
Mother Goose, Mother Goose, Mother Goose, Mother Goose.
Difficult to answer this for me.
I think if you're being discreet, it's not a problem.
I just think it's fine and you've got to do what you could do for your kid.
And I also sort of agree with Tom, fuck other people.
The only thing I would say, the only caveat to that I would say
is that people that don't have children are a lot more queasy
and funny about things like this than people that do have children.
The door of what you're not disgusted by really does open up
when you have kids, do you know what I mean?
Because you've got to do so much for them.
You know, like, I found the idea of looking at somebody else's shit absolutely abhorrent uh and then you find
yourself elbow deep in it when you're trying to sort out your child that's sort of shat and pissed
and created some sort of soup that you have to deal with um it's uh it's a difficult one so i
think while we become tolerant to it other people aren aren't as tolerant. So I think it's a situation where I don't think it's gross,
but I just think it's just a matter of whether,
of like,
I think you do what you've got to do for your kid,
obviously,
but you've also got to be mindful of the fact that some people find it really
fucking off putting.
Do you know what I mean?
And I think,
you know,
just having that in the back of your mind is probably a good thing,
but it sounds like you're doing it super discreet.
So I won't worry too much. And also I think like you can apologise to people if things like that happen, you know, just having that in the back of your mind is probably a good thing. But it sounds like you're doing it super discreet, so I won't worry too much. And also, I think you can apologise to people if things like that happen, you know.
You can just say, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I apologise. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
And you sort of say that the whole time they're pissing, so it sort of masks the sound.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
But then just be careful
because then they're going to associate
sort of the word sorry with wanting a piss
and then you're going to have a different,
then you've got a big problem.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, well,
that brings us to the end of our first,
what are you looking at, Tom?
Is somebody signaling to you?
No, no, just looking across yonder.
There's some people playing table tennis over.
It's quite a competitive game.
Tom,
well done.
I thought,
I didn't think Grand Canaria,
Grand,
I didn't think Grand Canaria
diminished your powers at all.
You've been excellent.
I love you.
So have you,
my baby.
So have you.
Could you do us the honour of,
yeah,
go on,
what were you going to say?
Charging you out,
yeah?
No,
I was going to say,
the hangover,
the hangover,
I always feel when you're hungover,
I just want to sort of, like, slip up next to you you so you don't know i'm there and just sort of like
put my arms around you thanks man and thank you yeah it means a little cuddle
yeah just just so you know that there's warmth out there oh thank you bro thank you love you all
right tomo take us out my g horace was a camel as fine a camel that's ever been bred and every
couple of days he'd make excursions with people across the desert never getting
thirsty because he had the water in his humps that kept him hydrated quite a lot
of the time though with the people he'd take with across the desert he'd notice
that they hadn't brought enough water with them.
They would be getting thirsty and such.
And a lot of the time they'd go, Horace, how come you aren't thirsty?
And he'd say, I have water in my hunch, you see.
I have water.
His superpower was the fact that he was always hydrated.
He could always stay hydrated.
But then one day, Horace walked a little bit too far.
He walked out of the desert and found himself in the coldest of places.
He was in the Arctic.
And there he started shivering.
And although he wasn't thirsty, he was terribly cold.
And a polar bear came up to Horace and said,
Christ, you look cold as can be.
And Horace said, this isn't my terrain. I'm not used to this place. And the polar bear said, oh,
you know, would you like a drink of water? There's water. He said, I'm not thirsty. I'm just cold.
And the polar bear said, that's the problem with life and the world in which we live.
Sometimes it is good to go to foreign climes
and try new things,
but sometimes it's best to stick to what you know
and be in the realms where you are safe
and you are proud.
Horace smiled at the polar bear
and scarpered as quick as he could back to the tent.
The moral of the story was that this,
don't always look for different places to be
when you can be hydrated being where you are.
Lovely.
Great.
Really good.
Really good.
Lost your way a little bit like the camel there for a moment,
didn't you, I thought?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I saw you started off.
You had a bit of a horrors about you there, didn't you?
Yeah, I started off with one way of going with it
and then I thought, actually, I'm going to try this.
Yeah, I like to think there was a message in there somewhere.
Okay, well, listen,
thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for now.
We appreciate it, as always.
Song to take us out.
There's a new album called Marlow 3 by Marlow,
who are a group that are made up of Laurent,
the producer, and Solon Brigham the rapper
and this tune
is called Royal
and it features
Blue and Joelle Ortiz
and it's really good
and the whole album
is good and well worth
checking out
I'm not mentioning it
because of this
but I do actually
also feature on the album
that's not the reason why
whoa you feature on the album
what rapping
I do do a bit of rapping
yeah on this album
so
oh my god
I need to listen to this
it's Big Daddy Kane's back yeah yeah just you know I do do a bit of rapping, yeah, on this album. Oh, my God. I need to listen to this.
Big Daddy Kane's back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just, you know, spitting some hot fire and stuff like that.
You know how I do.
What?
I don't know.
Are you listed as being on the album?
Or is it a surprise?
Yeah, it says.
The track's called Rom Audition.
Oh, my God.
I don't know.
Look.
Apple Music and Spotify?
Yeah, everywhere.
Everywhere.
Oof.
Everywhere.
Right, actually,
I'm not going to promote another show,
but I am doing a show with them.
Anyway,
that's not the reason I'm recommending it.
It's a great album.
Take care of yourselves and each other.
Love you.
Bye.
Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. boom If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all,
please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.
That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
Thank you.