Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 18: Halloween Rom & Pancake Problems

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

We’re talking… broken phones, missing merch, halloween party costumes, spoilt roasts and hotel pancake problems, boxing for babies, TV series quitters and arthouse cinema bores. Plus, email questi...ons on not being homesick, coping with a long-distance relationship and toddlers peeing in public. For questions or comments please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: HELLO@KEEPITLIGHTMEDIA.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious, more-ish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them.
Starting point is 00:00:29 Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Yum. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? a.m. That's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing.
Starting point is 00:01:14 All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive, innit? The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and Owl. I'm Shrug and April and Tom Davis. We are in your fucking ears. We're going to do the podcast like this. Yo, electric.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Electric. This is my first one with AirPods. Yeah, how are you finding it? Well, you know what? I'm using the classic Apple Air pod instead of our old friend Samsung Got say these new Apple air pods are amazing. This isn't a firm. Just saying yeah Can I just Well done for managed to continue to talk with that corporate dick. Well, why are you making it out like?
Starting point is 00:02:02 We're sponsored by Apple. I'm just saying it's like I always thought Samsung were amazing. But now I've got these Apple things in the air. They're pretty incredible. I'm loving the vibe. Have they said something to you? No, no, no, no. I brought them at the airport. Shout out Christopher, the young man who upsold me them.
Starting point is 00:02:20 And yeah, I'm just loving the vibe. Christopher rubbing his hands together. Fucking idiot. We had a massive panic. I'm in Gran Canaria Christopher rubbing his hands together this fucking idiot we had a massive panic as we I'm in Gran Canaria at the moment sorry yeah
Starting point is 00:02:29 Tom Davis is currently in Gran Canaria guys Gran Canaria as the local Gran Canaria and literally
Starting point is 00:02:39 as we got to the airport Catherine's phone just died wouldn't switch on it was fully charged just wouldn't switch on or anything so I was tasked with trying to get it fixed and i had to run i ran into the sort of at the airport you were talking yeah yeah yeah he was looking after the baby i ran into the electric store like absolutely panicked like you know thinking i'm gonna probably
Starting point is 00:02:59 have to buy a new handset what do you do or get like a foreign phone contract out here i went up and went mate can you help me what's your name please and he was like christopher christopher can you help me please mate this is what the situation is right he he gets the phone and basically but does this thing where he presses the volume buttons a bit presses the umber and i went do you think you can fix it and he just held it up and showed it to me and it was fixed i was like oh my god that's like the coolest thing I've ever seen and he was like
Starting point is 00:03:26 tell your lady she seriously has to update that phone oh why why'd she got to update the phone she's not done an update for about two updates now and if you don't
Starting point is 00:03:32 that's what can happen you can go through that where it cuts off I don't think I've ever updated my phone you have it'll be doing it behind your back
Starting point is 00:03:38 I reckon I think I think I'm on IOS like one you definitely you've definitely updated your phone somewhat look at this backdrop by the
Starting point is 00:03:46 way oh my god look at this life you're living right it's swaggy did you deliberately did you how much have you thought about the backdrop that you're gonna have for this uh do you know you know what room i'm in i'm in the manager's uh office why because there's the wi-fi i i was panicked the level of panic i've had for this to do this abroad like thinking about how quality the wi-fi could be um one of the first things Catherine was literally so embarrassed when the first things I said when we get got here I said like I you know I run a podcast with Romesh Rankin Nathan didn't know who you are Rankin area didn't know who they were so um and uh I need like uh somewhere the wi-fi is good and the manager is like okay let me think
Starting point is 00:04:24 and then he comes back to me you didn't say I run a podcast with Romesh Rankin Nathan please And I need somewhere where the Wi-Fi is good. And the manager is like, okay, let me think. And then he comes back to me. You didn't say, I run a podcast with Romesh Ranganathan. Please tell me. Well, I said, Romesh does most of the legwork. No, I said, I was trying to explain to you where I showed a couple of pictures of you and stuff. Why? Just in case you knew. I'm always interested to see how far your flag flies.
Starting point is 00:04:44 And it doesn't fly as far as Gran Canaria, it turns out. No, I've been in Spain where people know who you are, in Italy. English people? No, no, no, no, foreign people. Okay. One of my friends who's out in Italy, and he often says he tells people about you and stuff out there. I think in Milan you've got a bit of a fan.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Of this one friend of yours? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. He's been showing people videos and shit, like your Apollo set and all that stuff. Yeah, great, great. How have you been, my bro? By the way, I love that you are dropping the merch. Yeah, you like that, yeah? Yeah, it's nice. I mean, you say merch. These aren't on sale, are they?
Starting point is 00:05:20 I don't think they are, no. We should probably put them on sale. They're nice. This is a prototype we were given about over a year ago that we were asked to feed back on and we haven't done we never have do you know
Starting point is 00:05:29 I'm not devastated I actually gave mine away that night it was the night of Hackney wasn't it do you know what this is so it's so classic
Starting point is 00:05:37 because what happened was is we did the Hackney show and the response we got was amazing and I know what happened you got carried away like you're fucking Springsteen on his last ever show.
Starting point is 00:05:48 What did you do? Did you throw it out into the crowd? Throw it out the window. A few people gagged and waited for taxis. But I thought they were waiting for us. There's a taxi driver somewhere wearing a wolf an hour thinking it's an NFL team. He thinks it's some sort of label he's not heard of yet.
Starting point is 00:06:05 It's just on the edge of going big. I've heard this is the new Balenciaga. Have you got any Wolf and Owl stuff? Yeah, I've only ever seen the one hat. I just found it. Yeah, I saw a big guy walking with a hoodie on. They're going to be absolutely gutted though because I found out that actually there's an absolute dog shit podcast that's got the same name.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Should we talk about your big Halloween night? Boy, that looked good. Yeah, we can talk about the big Halloween night. Yeah. Your number one, I say you looked absolutely drippy in the Mario. Mario and Luigi, shout out Martin. Yeah, mine too smooth martin had the idea of us going as mario and luigi who got the costumes mine can i just say costume wise halloween wise i think you and martin absolutely perfectly navigated it you think so i think there's a real fine spot in in halloween costumes where you've tried enough that it looks good and you
Starting point is 00:07:01 look you look banging but you haven't tried too hard it looks like you've been fucking planning it for seven months yeah i had to remortgage your house yeah a lot of people do that don't they go big i've got friends who spend so much time and so much effort on a halloween costume or doing their house up for halloween i generally look at them and think if you put this kind of effort into anything else you'd excel at life so much more than, you know, you know, literally. And then you'll, for the rest of the year,
Starting point is 00:07:27 you'll speak to them and go, I hate my job. I hate what I do. And you're like, remember Halloween when you made that costume, right? Like, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:33 where you made the alien chest that actually fucking exploded out of your, your actual chest. Yeah. That was, that was incredible, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:40 Why don't you look at doing something like that that you enjoy? Yeah. And you'd be incredible at it. Yeah. Are you, are you suggesting that I become a costume maker yeah man so i've two friends i could actually i think would be amazing at that yeah i i like someone when they put hardly any effort into halloween they look really shit and it's just really just just about possible
Starting point is 00:07:57 yeah the only issue with the mario costume is it requires complete uh removal in order to take a piss. Oh, really? I say complete removal, you can have it around your ankles, but do you really want to use a toilet in a nightclub? Pick the costume up off the floor and put it back on your body. So you have a sit-down waist?
Starting point is 00:08:20 Well, I always have sit-down waist. What? Yeah, I like a sit down way in those situations even when you're out and about yeah I mean I'll be honest with you
Starting point is 00:08:28 it's difficult to position over the urinal football football toilets at the football oh god disgraceful I mean
Starting point is 00:08:37 let's not get into this and be disgusting but the truth is I often just try and hold it in until I can piss somewhere that's more suitable for my yeah my excretion um but um the halloween party was good martin too smooth was amazing dj
Starting point is 00:08:54 miss candy was amazing jaguar skills played one of the best sets i've ever seen in play it was unreal becky hill turned up did a little pa oh you're joking no it was like treat after treat the one thing i would say is i arrived drunk at the at the party right right and party wrong party wrong in full force and so when i believe i hear yeah this one was there yeah she was smashing back the rum and cokes and then um i love this she's never been to one of those and she's always been slightly confused as to what it is I do at these parties. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:09:30 I'm confused. I know you get leathered and you sort of do that dance that you do on the stage. I know you very much and this is with full love because he's one of my favourite people. You're very much and this is this is this is with full love because he's one of my favorite people you're very much nicky burn of the uh this this scenario so martin and i kind of do a bit of a double act when we go up on when martin's playing right a little like mc dj combination
Starting point is 00:09:56 thing yeah and i'd had i'd had enough drinks to think that i was on fire right like i really like martin goes you cool to do this? And I go, mate, don't worry, I fucking got it, right? Just gave Lisa, like, the biggest kiss you've given her for so long. I said to her,
Starting point is 00:10:12 look, just try not to be dazzled by what you're about to say, do you know what I mean? And then I walked out of there. And I was, like, emceeing,
Starting point is 00:10:20 I say emceeing, I'm not an emcee, I'm just sort of hosting it, do you know what I mean? I'm not emceeing, do you know what I mean? I'm not emceeing, do you know what I mean? And like, Martin and I discuss
Starting point is 00:10:27 what to play next and shit like that, and you know, Martin's like, Martin always plays for the crowd and I always play for my, I always say, can we just put some
Starting point is 00:10:34 really hard hip hop on? Which the crowd like actually, the crowd were amazing, they were great, so thanks to everyone who came out to hip hop saying my Halloween. It was a nice night,
Starting point is 00:10:43 great night, stayed in town because I was going to the arsenal the next day the downside of my drunkenness is that i got tagged in some insta stories oh and this is why i hate i love you with all my heart but this is why i hate you why can't you have shared these because i i can never see them now the disparity between how i thought i was being on stage and how it turns out I was actually being on stage is quite fucking remarkable. At one point, I'm in training Jaguar skills, and I thought I went, this guy is one of the best in the game,
Starting point is 00:11:17 which he is. This guy's one of the best in the game. Make some fucking noise for the legend. Jaguar skills. That's what I thought I did. This is what I actually did, it turns out from this story Jaguar Skills is up next, make some noise
Starting point is 00:11:30 make some noise, shut the fuck up that's not enough noise, that's not enough noise you pricks, make some, I said make some fucking noise for fucking Jaguar Skills, like that horrible man, and every clip's like that, every clip's like that you're doing your Chandler Bing dance
Starting point is 00:11:45 as you were doing it there was a lot of dancing man there was a lot of dancing loving the dance moves so Lisa went home in the morning I stayed in town nice
Starting point is 00:11:53 and then the next day I went to watch Arsenal and oh my god what a game oh man so basically Lisa went home
Starting point is 00:12:00 she said I'm going to do race dinner tonight nice and then she goes what time do you come back I said game finishes at 4 I'll be back about six i went with ed friction another friend of the show yeah and we stayed for an hour drinking after the game you kind of have to by the way because i'm imagining decent seats yeah yeah like me me and you've yeah i find that after the
Starting point is 00:12:22 football whatever wherever i like i like an hour just to sort of decompress that after the football, wherever I like, I like an hour just to sort of decompress after the football, just to chat, go through the game. And also, I don't really like leaving when everyone else is leaving, to be honest.
Starting point is 00:12:33 I don't... Well, the trains are a nightmare, aren't they? Yeah. So, left the game and bearing in mind, I've told Lisa that I'm going to be at home for six o'clock. I leave the stadium at 5.30.
Starting point is 00:12:46 Oh, man. We're on our way home. We're just chatting and stuff. And then Ed says to me, let's grab a pint on the way home. One pint becomes two. Two pints become... Well, actually, it stayed at two. Anyway, I arrive at
Starting point is 00:13:01 8.30. The dinner's in the oven, having to be kept warm because I haven't been clear enough on when I arrive at 8.30. Wow. The dinner's in the oven, having to be kept warm because I haven't been clear enough when I'm getting back. Oh, man. And I walk in pretty much steaming. Sit down at the table, can barely get the roast potatoes in my mouth without fucking dropping it all over my fucking shirt. And then in order to try and overcompensate for the fact
Starting point is 00:13:22 that I feel guilty for coming back, just I'm needlessly complimentary about the dinner. Do you know what I mean? Just like every, oh my God, this broccoli is, you have done it. Because people get broccoli wrong, don't they? They get it wrong because it's either crunchy. Or cook it too much. I bet the water wasn't even green with this.
Starting point is 00:13:39 I bet your time was just right. I can tell you salted the water. You salted the water. You seasoned the water. That's Himalayan salt, right? That's Himalayan salt. So anyway, I basically spent most of the weekend sort of on the edge of being like sort of drunk.
Starting point is 00:13:53 And now today is not good. It was not a good day for me. What hung over? I don't know if it is hung over, you know, because I didn't get really that battered last night. I mean, I sort of passed out in front of the, not passed out, that's an exaggeration. I fell asleep in front of the TV.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Yeah, but what you found yourself in is a drunken stupor. Correct, yeah. I had a 48-hour drunken stupor, basically. And then I just wake up kind of... I don't know how to explain it. I'm not hungover, but I've got the fog. You know what I mean? Like a little bit of...
Starting point is 00:14:21 Just a little bit of mist around the neural pathways. Do you know what I mean? That's what I'm... Are you going to take... What are you doing today? Are you taking it easy? You've got a chill blade? yeah like a little bit of just a little bit of mist around the neural pathways do you mean that's what i'm are you are you gonna check what are you doing today you're taking it easy you've got a chill blade well relatively chill blade i'm not going out anywhere but um i am doing my first day's writing on the ranga nation for this week because it's like monday tuesday wednesday right and thursday record so um yeah i would say that I'm going to struggle to think of funny things about Rishi Sunak today. But we'll see.
Starting point is 00:14:48 We'll see. Actually, I was at the gym this morning and I bumped into... Actually, it's Dan, the guy, the lifting straps advisor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told him about my weekend and he sort of laughed, but he also had a look in his eye as if to say you're 44 years old I don't think this is cute anymore
Starting point is 00:15:11 do you know what I mean you've got to be careful we are coming to an age where that behaviour is I don't know what age that stops being cool I've surpassed it. I'm way beyond it.
Starting point is 00:15:26 It's not cool. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't.
Starting point is 00:15:57 Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping. Promo code searching. It takes skill. Speed. Sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle.
Starting point is 00:16:18 With the Happy Stack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, a sweet phone plan,flix disney plus and amazon prime all starting at just 99 a month stack more spend less the happy stack only at kudo conditions apply for just 4.99 you can get a subway six inch black forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli but the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful black forest ham we're talking tantalizing turkey perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami, so you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly.
Starting point is 00:16:52 We're talking friggin' fresh slicing, and I'm yelling, yes way! Get a six-inch Black Forest ham for only $4.99, only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. The flip side of you, right, is I'm now in a position, right?
Starting point is 00:17:16 I'm away. I'm having an amazing time with my wife and my baby, right? The thing I'm getting most excited about is the pancake station at the hotel I'm staying in. And I've been here now for five, six days. Yeah. And we're here for another week and Catherine's like what is the score with I get really down if I walk it in and there's a woman who's incredible at pancakes she's amazing when you say it's a pancake station can you give me some detail what are we looking at so it's like a what you're looking at is yeah three hot plates running consecutive times so you can get both of your pancakes at the same time.
Starting point is 00:17:47 Any topping pretty much you want on a breakfast crepe. I'd say they're more crepes than pancakes. I think it's, you know, I'd say she's a, the trouble is, right, up until yesterday, the crepes have been faultless. Yesterday. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Sorry, I'm really sorry. I need more detail on these crepes.
Starting point is 00:18:02 So what kind of topping, what kind of toppings are you getting on these? I'm a classicist. You know me. You know me. I'm a lemon and sugar kind of G. Sure. On a Sunday, yesterday,
Starting point is 00:18:12 maybe I, I changed it up a little bit. I thought Nutella and a bit of banana. Nice. That's my kids go to, by the way, Nutella and banana. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:18:19 yeah, yeah. That's good shit. Which is, yeah, a very patronising way of saying that I'm a child. No, no, sorry. I'm sorry. I forgot forgot you're a lemon and sugar connoisseur mr sophisticate anyway so basically i got there yesterday and i see like the woman who's normally there not there
Starting point is 00:18:40 right there's a there's a new person at the crepe station. Who am I to judge? Nervous? Very nervous because the crepe is everything for me. So my whole day is pretty much going to be dependent on how the crepes roll. Poor Catherine. Yeah, go on. She spreads the crepe on the hot plate, right? As she spreads it, it rips a bit and I sigh.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Right. And she sort of looks to sort of say, oh, do you want it like this? And I was like, eh, not really. You know, is it okay to have a perfect crepe? Why do you care if the crepe is ripped, by the way? Because you want a perfect crepe, right? Why? Well, it doesn't affect the taste at all.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Mate, what it does affect the taste… And also, you're having lemon and sugar on it, so we'll… No, I'm not. I'm not, because what was yesterday? Sunday. Oh, sorry. This is where you… I'm so sorry. I'm having Nutella, right? So when she flips it over and she puts Nutella on it so we'll i'm not because what was yesterday sunday oh sorry this is where i'm so sorry i'm not telling right so when she flips it over and she puts nutella on it what's
Starting point is 00:19:29 going to happen to nutella it's going to see it's going to go on the hot plate yeah it's going to seep out mate and what i've got is it's all seeped out it's not the pot perfect crate pocket i was after though i just sort of saw it and i say um okay to do again again, please? Oh my God! Please tell me you're joking right now. I was like, are we okay to do another crepe? Tom, please tell me this is a joke. Are you
Starting point is 00:19:55 embellishing for the purpose of the podcast? No, no, no. You demanded a second crepe. I didn't demand. Look at my face. Is it okay to have another crepe? Right. And what would you have done if she said no? Well, no. I didn't demand. Look at my face. Yeah. Is it okay to have another crepe? Right. And what would you have done if she said no?
Starting point is 00:20:08 Well, no. I would have been absolutely flabbergasted. Like, that is, I think, to be fair to her, the second one,
Starting point is 00:20:16 she really cried. She spent ages getting her little thing wet. Yeah, because she didn't want to have to do a third one for this fussy prick. And it was a lovely crepe.
Starting point is 00:20:24 You stood over there with a little bit of dribble fucking nest it was a lovely question you stood over there with like a little bit of dribble fucking nestling in your beard you can hear your hear your fucking breathing on her forehead as she tries to avoid putting a gap in this crepe but no but that i and like when she passed it to me i was like gracias and like a thumbs up and a big smile um how do you feel you handle that out of 10? The trouble with me, right, is I put a lot of pressure on situations that don't need pressure on. So as soon as we walked in,
Starting point is 00:20:52 like I was talking, every morning we'd go for a nice, we have a walk with Grace, we have a little two, three mile walk, right? And as we're walking along, I'm like, you know, I can't wait to get in the crepes. When we walk in and I'd see that the crepe person's changed, I said to Gaffer, no, no, I don't like the look of this,
Starting point is 00:21:12 if I'm honest with you. I could see that the queue was long at times, so I'd sort of got on with the bulk of my main breakfast, just watching what was going on. I had one eye on the crepe station. God forbid you're not having stuff on top of the pancakes. Yeah, go on. So I've had my omelette
Starting point is 00:21:27 and my other bits and I'm just now looking over and I'm thinking, I'll wait for a time when there's not too many people around because what happens if there's three or four people in the crepe queue and this is crepe etiquette, everything goes out the window. Which way?
Starting point is 00:21:43 With a standard that crepes because they get the pressure the pressure mounts amounts amounts yeah you want to pick a window where there's hardly anyone there lull about for a bit and then wait till you're the only person in the queue if you can and then get over to it so rather than queuing you wait around the queue yeah okay yeah yeah and wait for the queue to go down then i go and go yeah yeah after they've dealt with the queue and dealt with all those people and they think fucking thank god for that
Starting point is 00:22:06 managed to make it through that little spike oh god why can I feel breath on the back of my neck
Starting point is 00:22:11 and then I just say yo hey yeah good morning this is what I'm after
Starting point is 00:22:20 kind of thing do you feel good about demanding another pancake is my question well now you put it like you have.
Starting point is 00:22:25 Because other people might have gone thank you gone away left it a couple of minutes then come back and ask for a second one so that woman never knows that she's like, do you know what I mean? So what you're saying is what I should have done is gone away pretended I've eaten the said pancake come back and go that was so delicious
Starting point is 00:22:42 Correct. And I'm saying purely for her sort of self-esteem yeah look there's a way there's a school of thought and what you're saying is actually right but there's also a school of thought and saying then she for the rest of her life she's giving up ripped old ripped out old pancakes yeah but i don't think anybody cares like you do oh but this is a problem with society is once we stop caring about pancakes and stuff and, and like things not being done like to a level where everything just falls
Starting point is 00:23:10 apart. The other woman, she was here to that this morning. Absolutely. I smiled when I saw this morning and I was like, Oh yeah, I could just relax. Where's your mate?
Starting point is 00:23:20 They'll say yesterday. Oh, she's, uh, she's been signed off with anxiety. Because somebody made her feel like an absolute prick and demanded another fucking pancake because they had a tiny gap in it. Yeah. She's sobbing in the corner of the hotel.
Starting point is 00:23:35 We've actually had to allocate, for the week that you're here, a sobbing room for staff where they've not made the things to your will. I'm very chatty with the staff. I'm probably overly friendly in chatting with them. I make sure that I'm constantly on. I have a laugh with them.
Starting point is 00:23:50 I get to know their names. Yeah. You're like, what's his name? Eric Morecambe, aren't you? What's Eric Morecambe? What do you mean? You know, like, apparently he was always on. It was absolutely exhausting for everyone around him.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I've been around you in these situations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, like apparently he was always on. It was absolutely exhausting for everyone around him. I've been around you in these situations. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we went to England, Scotland. You are just on all the time.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Yeah, yeah, that's right. Working the room. Until I get into the bedroom then I'm just absolutely exhausted. How many pancakes do you normally get in for a day?
Starting point is 00:24:20 One, potentially two. The rest of the time I'm trying to eat pretty clean when I'm out here. I'm trying to eat pretty clean when I'm out here. I'm trying to eat pretty healthy. So what goes with your breakfast?
Starting point is 00:24:30 I usually have an omelette, some vegetables, a bit of frittata. You really like those egg-based products, don't you? Have a bit of scramble as well, do you, while you're there? Yeah, I like a little bit of scramble as well do you weigh there yeah yeah i like it just katherine looking across the tongue quick question yeah have you heard of cholesterol that that's you've just described six eggs worth of stuff by the way that's a half a dozen eggs you're smashing away that's every morning yeah that's not a connor ben vibe isn't it how many days have you been there?
Starting point is 00:25:06 I've been here for six days. All right, so 36 eggs you've come from. No, 30 eggs you've come from. 36, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is Connor Ben vibes. Have you seen the Connor Ben,
Starting point is 00:25:14 what he said? Yeah. How do you feel about it? Well, I feel, I was meant to go to the fight, so I still feel slightly aggrieved about what's happened in five minutes of you.
Starting point is 00:25:22 It was like a real, we were having an old school lads night out. I was really looking forward to it. You know yourself, right? I mean, actually you're,
Starting point is 00:25:29 you're, I don't know myself. What I don't know myself is why I wasn't invited to this lads night for the boxing. Beckett said, Beckett said, was it a podcast boxing night you
Starting point is 00:25:45 off many boys you know it's weird we've actually got a spare suit yeah
Starting point is 00:25:53 I'll tell you what give Charlotte three I'll tell you what was cool though
Starting point is 00:26:03 is I watched Katie Taylor is phenomenal isn't she yeah Taylor is phenomenal, isn't she? Yeah, she is phenomenal. Correct. I totally agree with that. I absolutely, genuinely watch Katie Taylor. I think she's technically one of the best boxers.
Starting point is 00:26:13 It was four people, but boxers I've ever seen in my life. She's unreal. I watched the highlights at the end of the fight and tried to show Grace that she wasn't really interested. Oh, God. Don't become one of these don't become one of these people please oh god you wrote an episode about this in king garu and now you're doing it you know watching wise what we've me and katherine got into a really weird place where we started
Starting point is 00:26:39 watching the first episode of multiple series and not following it through. Yeah, Lisa and I like that. We watch three or four episodes and then go, do you still want to carry on? I had it with This Is Us. I've watched like, I watched two of them. I've had it now with so many things, right? Where, so we watched episode one of The Watcher, right? Episode one of White Lotus.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah, that's why you shat yourself at that restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just watching episode one of everything. Do you know what you need to watch? Go on. The Bear. The Bear, that's why you shat yourself at that restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just watching episode one of everything. Do you know what you need to watch? Go on. The Bear. The Bear?
Starting point is 00:27:09 What's that about? The Bear? No, no, it's not to do with The Bear. It's about a guy that goes back, it's like his top-end chef that goes back to sort of turn around his family restaurant, basically. And it's just, it's unbelievable. It is, I'd be amazed if you stopped watching after one episode of that.
Starting point is 00:27:27 It's incredible. What's this on? Disney Plus. It's amazing. I watched that and I started watching the We Tang Origin series as well. Is that a drama? It's a drama, yeah. See, what I'm considering starting to do is just watching episode one of stuff
Starting point is 00:27:41 and then just in my own way, just writing what the rest, I think the rest of the series is going to be like. That's a a great idea and also what that does do is it helps you be involved in all sorts of conversations i mean yeah you don't ever have to you don't ever have to give away that you've not watched beyond it yeah i really my i think they never really picked up after the first episode for the first episode was uh also i just think it's quite nice to have an idea of the watcher for example that you watch episode one and it looks like at the end of it looks like everything's going to turn to shit but you actually yeah what i enjoyed after episode one actually they settled in quite nicely as a family it was all just a big misunderstanding and the rest of it was just like a sort of funny sitcom where everyone just sort of
Starting point is 00:28:17 had a bit of a laugh i've been put off by watching the watcher because i keep hearing that the end of the series is so bad that it undermines everything you've watched before it. Why did you stop watching after the first episode? Because of what happened in the Chinese restaurant. And also, if I'm honest with you... My God. My God. My God.
Starting point is 00:28:40 That and I just don't think it grabbed us enough, if I'm honest. Can I ask you a think it grabbed us enough if I'm honest can I ask you a question genuine question yeah I'm not trying to have a go are you double screening
Starting point is 00:28:49 what do you mean are we watching something else at the same time no are you on your phone while you're watching no no no we're pretty good with
Starting point is 00:28:57 if we start watching something we'll sit and watch we started watching White Lotus as well yeah I watched the first episode of that and then I was out I don't know yeah again we used to the first episode of that, and then I was out. Yeah, again, we used to watch episode one of that, and now we're just trying to... So fucking... What a weird show, by the way.
Starting point is 00:29:11 But the trouble is, right, is because you compare everything to the classics. Yeah. The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, Succession. I mean, we're in this business. We're such underlings in this business. It makes me think, why has anyone watched anything that me and you made? Don't say we're in this business after mentioning breaking bird and the sopranos we're not in that business but we're in a business but i'm looking go for everything
Starting point is 00:29:35 when you watch white lotus or the watcher yeah like and when you're there must be people sitting there going yeah what's going to go episode one i don't think we get into it or i watched avoidance episode one it just was for me when into it, or I watched Avoidance episode one, it just wasn't for me. When, when Reluctant Landlord, by the way, I saw lots of those messages about Avoidance, but when Reluctant Landlord came out,
Starting point is 00:29:52 I saw a tweet saying, I just want Romesh, at Romesh Ranga to know, this is the worst thing I've ever seen on TV. It's really important to me that he finds out that I know. They said it's really important for you to find out. Yeah. Oh my God. Because they were so passionate that it was shit. And, and like, to me that he finds out that I know. They said it's really important for you to find out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Because they were so passionate that it was shit. And like, I do think comedy has that in a way that drama doesn't. Is that like, the first episode of a sitcom, people want, some people watch it wanting to hate it. Or, if it's not exactly tuned into their sense of humour, they just like, they get angry.
Starting point is 00:30:24 People get angry. I don't know why it gives that reaction, but it does. Yeah, because it's like them saying they don't get it. So it's above their head or it's just not their humour. Whereas your own sense of humour is very specific. Do you know what I mean? Specific, sorry. Whereas if it's a drama, people will just sit sit and I've watched a whole series of dramas
Starting point is 00:30:46 that I thought were you know just about okay but they just kept you because you want to see what the ending is you're not laughing you're not held to
Starting point is 00:30:54 sort of any sort of task other than just sitting there watching it whereas a comedy you have to sit there going am I laughing and that's that's a barometer
Starting point is 00:31:00 of success right correct yeah yeah no you're absolutely right really good analysis That's a barometer of success, right? Correct, yeah. No, you're absolutely right. Really good analysis. I'm really worried about... I am not bringing it today, man. Why do I always say this?
Starting point is 00:31:13 In fact, I say this more than I say anything else on the podcast. You know what, though? I think we should do an episode where we're both drunk and in party rooms in full force. When do you want to do that? You can't do that at the moment, can you? We'll have to figure out... Should we do it for christmas why don't we make our christmas why don't we make our christmas episode drunk one we should do christmas episode as a drunk episode
Starting point is 00:31:32 that's a great idea should we do it together in the room i don't want to be on a zoom yeah we have to do it yeah we have to yeah do you ever do any of those zoom parties my god mate i did one of them it's so depressing six of us on a zoom with like booze yeah trying to recreate so dreadful so and then the most tragic thing is you can trigger your brain to think you're having a really really good time and you're enjoying having a drink and a laugh right you can trigger that but the worst thing and i suppose in a way it's a bit like the cab ride home of it after any fucking drunken night and then you close your laptop and you're just sitting in a room on your own and katherine's asleep upstairs and i'm like oh my god this is true i ended up creeping upstairs thinking this is tragic I was at a thing recently and a guy was, you know, like when, again, it's kind of an episode
Starting point is 00:32:30 drama thing. Someone sort of introduced me to this guy and they're like, oh, this is Tommy's comedian. He was like, oh yeah, yeah, cool. Okay. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Cool. Cool.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I was like, what do you do? And he's like, I'm a filmmaker. I make movies. And I'm like, oh, right. Okay. Like anything I'd have seen. He's like, like no like kind of sort of very sort of avant-garde quite drunk you know i like stuff that's very art house and i was
Starting point is 00:32:51 like all right no one watches yeah um boring crap and then enjoy it congratulations and he kept on just rubbing his nose every time he spoke like every every word out of his mouth was an effort um but if like it was going to be really profound, everything he said, anyway, he said, uh, the movie that I'm trying to construct at the moment is it, it's about toxic masculinity and it's about gladiators and it's about, it's about them and how they lived. And I was like, okay, oh, nice. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:33:22 That's true. It sounds really good. He said, but the whole thing is just told through one character's face. And I was like, wow, what the whole thing? He's like, yeah, so if there's death, if there's violence, we hold on this one character's face for the whole movie when he's moving through the world.
Starting point is 00:33:41 So it was like, you know, like the old computer game, but you're seeing the outside with the gun. What's it was like you know like the old computer game but you're seeing the outside with the gun what's it called Doom right so with Doom you see opposite of Doom
Starting point is 00:33:51 so I'm like please tell me please tell me you didn't say that you didn't say that to him yeah of course I was like trying to get into my head oh yeah I get it
Starting point is 00:33:59 it's the opposite of Doom did you say those words to him yeah yeah I was like it was Doom but instead of watching the world around him you were just watching the guy's face right and I was like, he was doing but instead of watching the world around him, you're just watching the guy's face. Right. And he was like, um will zoom in closer to his face and it will hold his nose in his eyes
Starting point is 00:34:28 and you'll see the fear or the anguish and then will come out when things are more stuffed. Listen, I don't want to judge this guy. That sounds absolutely dreadful. Yeah, I know, but how would you even know what's going on? Well, he's talking, I assume. It's not a silent move, is it? I mean, I assume he's interacting.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yeah, but you don't see the people he's interacting to. No, sure. If silent move is it i mean i assume he's interacting yeah but you don't see the people he's interacting to no sure if he says if he says oh dad you've been shot i can guess what's happened there right number one right before you fucking send off any film scripts come to me because you can't you're never gonna say oh dad you've been shot in a movie yeah but no oh my god dad they shot you i'm not i'm doing it deliberately kind of yeah yeah you'll hear the gunfire and
Starting point is 00:35:09 then someone yeah my god they've shot dad no i'd say that's what they said no but here a gunshot and then he goes dad there you go yeah
Starting point is 00:35:16 yeah yeah yeah like where did they get you they got me but if that's holding on that guy's face yeah i'm not saying it's good but i'm
Starting point is 00:35:24 saying you'll be able to follow so i mean if you had glasses on and you can see a reflection would be quite kind of cool that's a great idea that's a really good idea if he had mirrored sunglasses and then they get real close and you can see the lens of the camera and such you know how mirrors work yeah do you like art house films no not really or you know i do sometimes you see a film and you think like i don't know every time every now and again you come across one and you just think oh that is actually quite good but the what you're describing there and i'm speaking to somebody who's not a i'm not a film connoisseur i'm not a film buff i don't really know what i'm talking about i would say i'm out of my depth talking to you about films because some of the stuff you say i just
Starting point is 00:36:01 your insight is great yeah but the trouble is there's certain stuff that i watch i just don't like you know drive yeah i just didn't i didn't fall in love with that drive but i think there's a difference between like sort of being trying to do something different there's a bit between that there's a difference in that and trying to do something different because for the sake of being different yeah do you mean where like where the film becomes a victim of this kind of trick they want to do or whatever do you know what i mean like but this this guy also was like he was he was you know in like you're he was just so steaming i'd had a few drinks i was buzzy but he was steaming yeah yeah and every time i heard him talking to anyone i could just say it's like it's really avant-garde. It's really, and the more people,
Starting point is 00:36:46 to give this guy, actually, the props of all props, I saw him explaining this film to at least seven or eight people, right? And pretty much all of them had the same response as I did. Right?
Starting point is 00:36:56 He never once lost any fucking, he was still consciously talking about it, like, you know, in a couple of years, it'll win an Oscar. Really?
Starting point is 00:37:02 Yeah. He had such confidence in it. And maybe it will. You know, maybe he'll have the last laugh. I didn win an Oscar. Really? Yeah. He had such confidence in it and maybe it will. Maybe he'll have the last laugh. He didn't even get his name. Yeah. And then when he's
Starting point is 00:37:10 collecting the Oscar he'll just go, you know the people doubted me saying I was trying to make a reverse Doom when I first started making this movie.
Starting point is 00:37:18 One guy could barely understand what you're saying with all the Nutella and banana falling out of his chops. He's lurking around a pancake. He had a pancake yourself with him. Yeah, had chocolate spread down his top,
Starting point is 00:37:30 I don't think he even noticed. Disgusting. If I'd have listened to him, this film would have never got made. Big fat hoes. Right, should we need some emails my G let's do it my G
Starting point is 00:37:48 okay this from the lost hedgehog it says hi wolf owl and swan ain't on please hello from New York
Starting point is 00:37:55 wow NY the big apple or if they put that in their thing no I'm saying this I'm just
Starting point is 00:38:01 oh okay why no I thought it was quite a cool way if they said ny yeah and then because it's me it's not cool that's what happened no no it's just got the same gravitas as someone from new york but while we're talking about new york uh anybody in new york i'm in new york in january doing a show so please come check it out what show are
Starting point is 00:38:20 you doing your tour show your new tour your old tour It's going to be a bit in between. Oh, nice, boy. Because my show is coming out on Netflix on the 28th of November. Wow, that's big, boy. Yeah. So I can't do any of that material, obviously. Because it'd be incredibly boring. Yeah, but what you can do is you can revel in the acclaim
Starting point is 00:38:38 when you hit New York City. Everyone's like, oh, my God. Yeah. I watched a Netflix special. It's fucking sick, bro. Yeah. I go out there and go, well, nobody's really watched a Netflixflix special i'm sure i can do stuff from that and then i walk out somebody goes love the netflix special then i get all in my head oh god you can't do anything from
Starting point is 00:38:52 that now what are you gonna do just start riffing just we all know that you've also in your back pocket got this new talk you're about to buzz and fucking smash um hello from new york thanks for the great pod i've been with you from the beginning thanks for getting me through lockdown I'm from the UK but I've recently moved to New York City for my Masters degree
Starting point is 00:39:09 ooh lost hedgehog I'm feeling a bit homesick not just friends and family but also for a stroll around Sainsbury's or Pizza Express
Starting point is 00:39:17 do you guys get homesick when you're touring and can you recommend anything to do in New York or more generally to remind you of home Tommy D the lost hedgehog is feeling very homesick can you help them out please
Starting point is 00:39:29 yo hedgehog my guy my g my friend you know what I truly believe is home is in your heart and it's in your brain and it's in your the fibers that make up your DNA or your body. And sometimes you can associate places and things with home and you put too much emphasis on that. And actually, you in your own body are your own home. So I think it's touching base with people and like back at home and little conversations. But it's about like finding your own, the new doubles. You know, to be fair, i've never been to new york all of my analogies from about new york will all be through uh
Starting point is 00:40:11 watching guys i've seen yeah watching films i've seen so mate you need to find the best american slice that you can that becomes you know a big big slice a big bit of pie. That will become your dough balls. You know, find a 5.11 that becomes your new Sainsbury's and almost say while you're walking around those places, just say something
Starting point is 00:40:32 like 5.11. Why do you recommend 5.11 over 7.11 just out of interest? It's 5.11 of things. I don't think so, actually. I mean,
Starting point is 00:40:44 it might be. It feels weird because I've heard of 7.11. I don't know why somewhere you go, oh, we're like 5.11 I think I don't think so actually it might be it feels weird because I've heard it's 7.11 I don't know why somewhere you go we're like 7.11 but we're open shorter
Starting point is 00:40:51 we're only open five days a week Monday to Friday no I can't find anything oh you know what I'm thinking of a five and dine
Starting point is 00:41:01 oh I see oh there's a 5.11 Chinese takeaway in Sheffield but my point is this is to go into those places like you know go into a 7-eleven and stroke the shelves a bit and just be like oh i'd love it if you could imagine if you ever met a sainsbury's right like you are a walking talking home you're you're way you come from you can never change that and you know what this is gonna blow your mind when you leave New York and come
Starting point is 00:41:30 back to England there'll be a time when you're walking around Sainsbury's and you look around you go yeah bro I fucking missed the 7-eleven mmm I miss Joe's pizzeria whatever and that's the thing about it so listen i i'm gonna say we miss you as a net like over here we miss you immensely in the power and the strength that you bring to us as human beings um but go run wild be the the incredible human being you are and we'll see you on the flip side my g uh lost hedgehog great advice once again from tom davis uh in answer your question have you ever felt homesick yeah it happens to me all the time um i've talked about it on the podcast before but i went to melbourne for a few weeks and uh to do the comedy festival there i went to sydney and
Starting point is 00:42:16 i did new zealand as well lisa and the kids stayed at home and uh i got drunk on the plane on the way over there this won't be a surprise i got drunk on the plane on the way over there. This won't be a surprise to you. I got drunk on the plane on the way over there and basically watched the film Lion and cried for the entire duration to the point where the staff on the plane started to become concerned. And then the whole of my time in Australia, I spent thinking about how I wanted to be at home. I enjoyed the shows and I'm coming back to Australia, actually.
Starting point is 00:42:44 It's not been announced. No, jeez, you are really doing some salesmanship on this. What? No, I'm just, it just reminded me that I'm doing Australia.
Starting point is 00:42:51 But I regret it. I regret. Just actually, while we're doing that, I know you're pitching your shows in New York and Australia.
Starting point is 00:43:00 There's some tickets left in Loughborough for my working break. Yeah. Tom's got a work in progress show in Loughborough so if you're in Loughborough and you haven't yet been tempted by the thought of watching Tom meander his way through some stuff he hasn't properly written
Starting point is 00:43:14 please do go check out if you fancy watching Tom Davis say I probably won't say that again, about 90 times, please do head to the... And swear a lot. Yeah. Yeah. No, in all seriousness,
Starting point is 00:43:29 go and check out Tom Shannon Loughborough. Loughborough, represent, man. Turn out for our guy, Tom. My guy. But the point I was making is I regretted not embracing Australia as much as I did, and I fully intended it when I go back.
Starting point is 00:43:43 But I understand where you're coming from. It's very, very difficult. Here's what I think you need to think about this okay you're in one of the greatest cities in the world okay you need to not think about what you miss from home and think about what you're going to discover about where you are now New York is unbelievable right just before lockdown I went there for a couple of I went there for a few nights i was doing some shows um a while ago and the food the nightlife the bars the theaters all of that shit is unbelievable right so you got so many great tv shows and film there like studio shows and shit like that throw yourself into it man do not engage with thinking about home engage with thinking about new york do you mean and just throw yourself into it, man. Do not engage with thinking about home. Engage with thinking about New York. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:44:27 And just throw yourself into it. Make it an adventure. Do you know what I mean? Don't think about what you haven't got. Think about what you have got. You've got fucking New York on your doorstep. Go for it, man. Always think as well.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Like, you know, Phoebe from Friends, she turned up to New York and she knew no one. And before you knew it, she was like part of probably the greatest group of friends that has ever existed. She was one of easily the most superfluous characters in the greatest sitcom ever. So
Starting point is 00:44:53 think about that. Do you know what I mean? Try and be your version of Phoebe Buffay is what I'm saying. Just any time that you can't think of a joke, say Phalange. That's what Phoebe said toalange try and find your monica joey rachel and so speaks chambler yeah i don't even say i don't even find him annoying can you even say his name i find him so annoying he's the one person i've vetoed from that if i can get rid of any character from any show ever it'd be chambler yeah Yeah. So more recently, I had this experience in LA
Starting point is 00:45:26 where we were doing a TV show, and Lisa and the kids came out to LA, and we lived there for four months or whatever. And I couldn't get into it. I was homesick. Same reasons as you. It almost feels embarrassing to say the things that you miss. But I was homesick, and then I got into it
Starting point is 00:45:43 just by dint of how long we were there for. I mean, every now and again, whenever we're watching something set in LA, we actually weirdly feel homesick for LA. It's only a place that we're in for four months. But you will feel like that about New York. I promise you. I absolutely promise you. But what you've got to do, and that will happen regardless,
Starting point is 00:46:00 even if you're being resistant. But you can help yourself by embracing it. You can make that happen quickly. So congratulations on the Masters in New York City. You know, that's what I always say. You know, when you're walking around like New York or Barcelona, you see people in those I Love New York t-shirts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:17 I think if you get one of those, it's almost tricking your brain to sort of say that you love the city. Yeah, I think that's great. I think it's great. Make it look like you're at the beginning of coming to america maybe get a hat and like a statue of liberty crown and shit like that do you know what i mean like make something like an absolute fucking cock is that what you're is that what you're saying no no every time then you look in the mirror and you go yeah i miss home and then you'll look in the mirror and say i love new york
Starting point is 00:46:42 and you'll just go oh shit yeah why would i have brought this T-shirt if I didn't love where I am? Yeah, it's a great thing to do, actually, is if you are in a city and you're trying to make it feel homely, dress as much of an outsider as you possibly can. Make yourself look so touristy, it's unbelievable. That's the best way. Well done, great advice. Good luck, Lost Hedgehog, with that.
Starting point is 00:47:04 Congratulations, by the way. You are going to have a fucking great time I promise you I get a feeling that one day me and Rob
Starting point is 00:47:09 will be like I don't know fucking chilling somewhere and you'll walk up and go hey guys thanks so much
Starting point is 00:47:15 for your advice I'm the Last Hedgehog and I love New York City why will they have got an accent now would have been
Starting point is 00:47:22 over there for a while they never came back oh fucking fucking you were absolutely right, Wolf. And I was fucking great here. Fucking having a fucking great time. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other.
Starting point is 00:47:47 I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking?
Starting point is 00:48:13 You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Order up for Damien.
Starting point is 00:48:42 Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about rhabelsis? Actually, I'm go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me.
Starting point is 00:49:03 Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Okay, next email. This is from the thoughtful Grizzly Bear. What's up my Gs? First, I just want to say how much I love the positive vibes you guys spread is exactly what I've needed recently and your hilarious anecdotes have left me doubled over on more than one occasion I've forgotten to say thanks to this one for selecting emails by the way she gets really fucking angry
Starting point is 00:49:34 if I don't do that I'm in the midst of a dilemma between me and my partner we've been together for two and a half years now and over the last year have lived together but that recently changed our jobs have taken us to different parts of the country I love my partner dearly and we've helped each other through some really difficult times where we've been together i genuinely feel like we've made each other better people isn't this sweet and we've helped one another deal with a
Starting point is 00:49:56 number of issues living together was amazing but long distance has had its difficulties and here lies my dilemma next year my partner is partner is going travelling, something I fully support. I'm not in the position to go as I've taken a long time to build my career to the point it is now. And for various reasons, including financial, taking a year off is not something I want to do. My partner fully supports me and I her. We just both want each other to be happy. But I feel like we're staring down the barrel of breaking up in order for us to both live our lives as we want to. Would it be better to call time on it now and remain close and maybe rekindle things at another time any help from two sweet souls would be much appreciated keep up the
Starting point is 00:50:28 sound advice and wisdom love to you both from the thoughtful grizzly bear tom dave thoughtful grizzly bear um shout out your bad self um so for the first i think eight months nine months of mine and katherine's relationship was long distance where we'd see each other just weekends, lots of Skype and phone calls obviously to sort of keep, you know, but we'll, because she lived- Did you do sexy ones? I found them really, really awkward. We both did. I think they're terribly awkward. I respect anyone who can. I find myself in the worst situation when I'm doing those, I find them really really awkward It's you sat on a zoom covered in your own tummy custard
Starting point is 00:51:09 That is literally one of the most puerile versions of you that I've ever seen You literally became like this really sort of like rough grizzly bloke in a fucking Wetherspoons called Mac Yeah I'm so sorry i apologize anyway go on big mac um but i mean that you know that is one of the situations you're going to have to discuss look i think the the truth of all this is you know if you've been through the situation you've been through and you've been through the
Starting point is 00:51:41 ups and downs you have and you've been each other's rock but I think you could probably get through most things I think just to call time on something prematurely is you know I get why that would be a school of thought on the basis you might sort of keep close but yeah what are you throwing away and I think if you've got this beautiful bond that you've got and it's worked for you, then I think see how it goes. I think let them be free, let them fly, let them have an amazing time, knowing that when they get back, you're building this incredible world for you both.
Starting point is 00:52:16 I'm a romantic at heart. I always will be. And I have faith that you, the grizzly bear, will one day have a bear-esque, a world-traveled bear rest on your arm and yeah yeah you'll have little cubs bear cubs so and i'll know a lot about different places because mother would have traveled mother would have traveled um i had exactly the situation happen although it was half the time i was going out with a girl and she went travelling for six months and I found the goodbye difficult.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Did you cry at the airport? I didn't cry at the airport, no. I did cry when I got home, though. Yeah. What I would say to you is, it depends how strong your relationship is, but a year is nothing. Did the relationship carry on for you when she got back? Yes, it for a long time oh that's nice so i i think you can get through this that's my opinion do you mean the one thing i would say that you need to be considerate
Starting point is 00:53:16 of and i think people make this mistake is if your other half is going traveling do not enforce on them a specific time when they've got to get in touch with you and shit like that because when you go away is shit that shit like that's hard and you've just got to kind of be understanding of that that they're going to get in touch when they can and like because what you want to do you'll want to go can we talk every week on thursday at blah blah or can we talk every day and da da da or can we make sure we email each other constantly it just doesn't work like that and then what happens is you start getting anxious because you haven't had that thing that you agreed but they you don't know what they're up to do you know what i mean like that
Starting point is 00:53:52 it just could be hard you know if they're particularly if they're backpacking around it's just very difficult to be able to get in touch with anybody so you have to kind of be mindful of that but apart from that apart from that challenge and the challenge of them being away um i think you can make it man if you really want to you can make it so listen it will be i'm not saying it won't be hard it will be hard and it'll be challenging but if you're really into each other it's worth it so you know that's my advice i think as well it's worth saying actually what and while they're away make sure that you keep as active doing new things, hobbies and stuff. You can't feel like,
Starting point is 00:54:28 yeah. When they phone up, they're not like, Oh, what have you been up to? And you're like, I'm not saying just missing you. You want them to think like,
Starting point is 00:54:35 again, it's almost like the same advice as before with New York. It's go, you, but it's the opposite. Go, you go traveling in your brain that you have as many adventures as you can in the realms of the surroundings. But then what happens? And then they phone up and you tell them
Starting point is 00:54:48 oh, I imagined doing this the other day. Well, I don't understand how that helps. So you imagine doing it. But you go, they call up and go oh yeah, I did it. Oh yeah, by the way I won a tennis. I was in Barbados this morning. And I met Idris Elba and we hung out for the day.
Starting point is 00:55:04 Is that what you're suggesting? No, I'm saying when I'm at Idris Elba and we hung out for the day is that is that what you're suggesting no I'm saying when they call up they go how have you been it's like
Starting point is 00:55:10 well I won the tennis finals this weekend what the fuck I didn't know you played tennis no I've taken it out while you're away
Starting point is 00:55:17 I've just got loads of new cool hobbies so they think oh fucking hell like when they get back there's like you're like there's so many
Starting point is 00:55:23 different things going on. Do you know what I mean? Oh, what did you do this weekend? I went cheese rolling in Stilton. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, yeah, yeah, sure. What did you do?
Starting point is 00:55:35 I did a parachute jump in New Zealand. Okay, cool. So we're on a level. Anyway, good luck, Grizzly Bear. It's all going to be fine keep doing you dear the wolf the owl and the swan i just want to start by saying i'm a huge fan of you both i really love the podcast and recommend it to everyone i know i find it hilarious and love hearing both of your perspectives on things this leads me to the question what do you think about toddlers peeing in public? I have a two-and-a-half-year-old who's out of nappies, so I'll have to pee when we're out and about.
Starting point is 00:56:11 He can't hold it for long, so we'll have to pop a squat on our travel potty if we're more than a few minutes away from a toilet. For example, in a shop, cafes without toilets, shopping centres, I'm as discreet as possible and will try to move somewhere quiet and the contents are swiftly contained. The whole thing probably takes about 30 seconds and saves him from doing it in his pants. I also have a one-month-old baby, which means getting to a toilet in a hurry is difficult if he also requires attention.
Starting point is 00:56:30 Also, quickly manoeuvring the double-buggy to small public toilets is tricky. Is this gross? I've asked a few different people, with most saying that it's not okay. If I saw another toddler doing it in a travel port in a public place, it wouldn't bother me at all.
Starting point is 00:56:41 But maybe my standards are completely warped. Would love your thoughts. Just to clarify, this only applies to wheeze not poos thank you very much mother goose yeah mother goose uh i i think it's fine i think it's look i'm i'm i've not been in the realms of having a toddler i'm still very much like we're having a baby i look i will say this basically great uh on the way flying out here Grace got like the day before Grace's temperature soared and then she was sick a couple of times and I was like oh shit like and then she seemed fine the next day and then she just got a bit of a rash which was
Starting point is 00:57:15 absolutely terrifying as the flight took off we discovered she had a rash so paranoia as a parent just goes right through your mind right it's horrible like the amount of things you're thinking it's terrifying uh and then about two hours into the flight she decided she she was going to be because poo that she'd done in a long time i think people understand the fact that they're babies or toddlers or children that you know they're going to do they have no control over those situations and you are always going to do the best version of trying to deal with it in a way that's not you know going to infringe as little as it can on the people around you i mean on a plane or in a shop if you're a little one this way if your little one wet themselves and there was wheel over the floor that's a lot more disgusting than them
Starting point is 00:58:01 going to the toilet and just doing it oh sorry doing it in a potty than they're in a little travel potty i think that for me most people would be pretty understanding of that and if then i i don't know if it was wrong or someone said to me very early you get to a point where you think if people are going to be dickheads them it's like they're children they're babies or toddlers they're not purposely doing things to fuck with people, arguably with their parents. That's a time where they think grace saves up a poo just to have, just as we get to a place. But yeah, I think you're, Mother Goose,
Starting point is 00:58:34 I think you're well within your rights to what you're doing. To be fair, I will probably do the same thing as you do. I'll just look into a little travel potty and I think it's the way to go. A little tug of the arm and I need the toilet. Boom. I'm with you, Mother Goose. Romski.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Mother Goose, Mother Goose, Mother Goose, Mother Goose. Difficult to answer this for me. I think if you're being discreet, it's not a problem. I just think it's fine and you've got to do what you could do for your kid. And I also sort of agree with Tom, fuck other people. The only thing I would say, the only caveat to that I would say is that people that don't have children are a lot more queasy and funny about things like this than people that do have children.
Starting point is 00:59:15 The door of what you're not disgusted by really does open up when you have kids, do you know what I mean? Because you've got to do so much for them. You know, like, I found the idea of looking at somebody else's shit absolutely abhorrent uh and then you find yourself elbow deep in it when you're trying to sort out your child that's sort of shat and pissed and created some sort of soup that you have to deal with um it's uh it's a difficult one so i think while we become tolerant to it other people aren aren't as tolerant. So I think it's a situation where I don't think it's gross, but I just think it's just a matter of whether,
Starting point is 00:59:50 of like, I think you do what you've got to do for your kid, obviously, but you've also got to be mindful of the fact that some people find it really fucking off putting. Do you know what I mean? And I think, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:01 just having that in the back of your mind is probably a good thing, but it sounds like you're doing it super discreet. So I won't worry too much. And also I think like you can apologise to people if things like that happen, you know, just having that in the back of your mind is probably a good thing. But it sounds like you're doing it super discreet, so I won't worry too much. And also, I think you can apologise to people if things like that happen, you know. You can just say, yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I apologise. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. And you sort of say that the whole time they're pissing, so it sort of masks the sound.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. But then just be careful because then they're going to associate sort of the word sorry with wanting a piss and then you're going to have a different, then you've got a big problem. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:32 Okay, well, that brings us to the end of our first, what are you looking at, Tom? Is somebody signaling to you? No, no, just looking across yonder. There's some people playing table tennis over. It's quite a competitive game. Tom,
Starting point is 01:00:48 well done. I thought, I didn't think Grand Canaria, Grand, I didn't think Grand Canaria diminished your powers at all. You've been excellent. I love you.
Starting point is 01:00:54 So have you, my baby. So have you. Could you do us the honour of, yeah, go on, what were you going to say? Charging you out,
Starting point is 01:01:00 yeah? No, I was going to say, the hangover, the hangover, I always feel when you're hungover, I just want to sort of, like, slip up next to you you so you don't know i'm there and just sort of like put my arms around you thanks man and thank you yeah it means a little cuddle
Starting point is 01:01:13 yeah just just so you know that there's warmth out there oh thank you bro thank you love you all right tomo take us out my g horace was a camel as fine a camel that's ever been bred and every couple of days he'd make excursions with people across the desert never getting thirsty because he had the water in his humps that kept him hydrated quite a lot of the time though with the people he'd take with across the desert he'd notice that they hadn't brought enough water with them. They would be getting thirsty and such. And a lot of the time they'd go, Horace, how come you aren't thirsty?
Starting point is 01:01:54 And he'd say, I have water in my hunch, you see. I have water. His superpower was the fact that he was always hydrated. He could always stay hydrated. But then one day, Horace walked a little bit too far. He walked out of the desert and found himself in the coldest of places. He was in the Arctic. And there he started shivering.
Starting point is 01:02:18 And although he wasn't thirsty, he was terribly cold. And a polar bear came up to Horace and said, Christ, you look cold as can be. And Horace said, this isn't my terrain. I'm not used to this place. And the polar bear said, oh, you know, would you like a drink of water? There's water. He said, I'm not thirsty. I'm just cold. And the polar bear said, that's the problem with life and the world in which we live. Sometimes it is good to go to foreign climes and try new things,
Starting point is 01:02:47 but sometimes it's best to stick to what you know and be in the realms where you are safe and you are proud. Horace smiled at the polar bear and scarpered as quick as he could back to the tent. The moral of the story was that this, don't always look for different places to be when you can be hydrated being where you are.
Starting point is 01:03:10 Lovely. Great. Really good. Really good. Lost your way a little bit like the camel there for a moment, didn't you, I thought? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:19 I saw you started off. You had a bit of a horrors about you there, didn't you? Yeah, I started off with one way of going with it and then I thought, actually, I'm going to try this. Yeah, I like to think there was a message in there somewhere. Okay, well, listen, thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for now. We appreciate it, as always.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Song to take us out. There's a new album called Marlow 3 by Marlow, who are a group that are made up of Laurent, the producer, and Solon Brigham the rapper and this tune is called Royal and it features Blue and Joelle Ortiz
Starting point is 01:03:50 and it's really good and the whole album is good and well worth checking out I'm not mentioning it because of this but I do actually also feature on the album
Starting point is 01:03:56 that's not the reason why whoa you feature on the album what rapping I do do a bit of rapping yeah on this album so oh my god I need to listen to this
Starting point is 01:04:04 it's Big Daddy Kane's back yeah yeah just you know I do do a bit of rapping, yeah, on this album. Oh, my God. I need to listen to this. Big Daddy Kane's back. Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, spitting some hot fire and stuff like that. You know how I do. What? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:16 Are you listed as being on the album? Or is it a surprise? Yeah, it says. The track's called Rom Audition. Oh, my God. I don't know. Look. Apple Music and Spotify?
Starting point is 01:04:25 Yeah, everywhere. Everywhere. Oof. Everywhere. Right, actually, I'm not going to promote another show, but I am doing a show with them. Anyway,
Starting point is 01:04:33 that's not the reason I'm recommending it. It's a great album. Take care of yourselves and each other. Love you. Bye. Boom, boom, boom. Boom, boom, boom. boom If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.
Starting point is 01:05:21 We'd love to hear from you. Thank you.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.