Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 19: Tech Troubles & Heavy Petting

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

We’re talking… technical difficulties, anxious batteries, some very heavy petting at the pool, being beardless, a supermarket challenge, restaurant banter, even more internet problems and a very special announcement. Plus, a few email questions answered on wedding invitations and advice for regaining lost confidence. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You love Taco Bell after a night out, but the new Cantina Chicken menu from Taco Bell hits different during the day. With slow-roasted chicken and fresh veggies, it's something late-night you and daytime you can agree on. Hit up your local Taco Bell restaurant or TacoBell.ca today and try our new Cantina Chicken menu. Taco Bell, not just late night. Offer available at participating Taco Bell locations or TacoBell.ca. late night. Offer available at participating Taco Bell locations or TacoBell.ca. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner

to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with a tresemme keratin smooth weightless collection visit tresemme.com to learn more yo yo what you want beak or jaws feathers fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last Request to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts

Get severed and served Bring your weak shit Wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake That's an awful howler Both of them are known To pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder

Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship Let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill never sheeps clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all your ears are huff a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog yo yes hello oh god this is this might be the worst this is basically a regression now to i'd say almost like two people starting a podcast with no apparatus right so before basically this is a situation and tom and i had a debate before

we came on the record about whether to do this or not so this is a situation. And Tom and I had a debate before we came on the record about whether to do this or not. So this is the situation. I'm away. Tom's away. You're away, sorry. I don't want to keep talking to the listener like that. And my microphone, I've discovered, is broken in transit.

So I'm going to have to buy a new one. And you don't have a microphone or headphones i've got microphone but my headphones went missing on the flight and then i brought some airpods and katherine has been using them to go to the gym and she's drained the air said airpods so i've got no bathroom airpods so this is your family does your family normally operate on a communal airpods so no no katherine's lost her air her AirPods since we've been here. So mine have become her and also mine are the newer ones. So they're apparently better

for when you're going to the gym and listening to other people's podcasts. You've been quite chilled out about it now. But before we logged on, you were quite, seemed quite agitated by the whole situation. One of my pet hates in life, right?

One of the things that grinds my gears is using other people's things and then not recharging them. I think that is one of the things that really gripes me. The other day, her phone had set. It gives me such anxiety. Like, say, with James DeFront. When I'm writing with James DeFront and we're doing a shared screen like this

and you can see his computer, he doesn't charge his laptop until right at the last. So he's got 3%. Catherine's the same. I'll look at her phone and she'll go, she'll have her phone on her bed and I'll look at it, it would be 7% of charge. I'm like, how can you live?

I couldn't live in a world like that. Even thinking about it. Isn't it good for the battery though? Doesn't it give it a good old stretch? It might be amazing for the battery, but the battery doesn't get anxiety, it no that's true yeah yeah it's your battery that's under risk there my battery goes absolutely haywire when i'm looking and thinking if when i get into the realms of 30 i'm i'm in pieces i'm in absolute pieces yeah i will say by the way that um i've

hijacked a room here and i'm looking around i've just because i'm i was in such pieces yeah i will say by the way that um i've hijacked a room here and i'm looking around i've just because i'm i was in such a flummox when we started because of the ear pod gate i think i'm actually this could at any time turn into quite an illustrious god you're in a conference room yeah but i don't a conference could come in here at any time it feels there's so much that could go wrong with today's podcast. Yeah. I mean, look, we're doing this in lieu of not doing anything. It's possible that this is going to be unlistenable.

So everything we're saying now might not actually go out. This could just be a conversation between the two of us. Yeah. This could be. And what's also added a little bit of spice to it is your Wi-Fi is janky as shit. So it's absolutely, I i mean we're knocking it out of the park yeah i mean basically josh josh and rob josh and rob have just moved on to spotify we haven't even moved on to being able to record this properly all our contemporaries are basically

getting these big squiller deals me and you're in a situation where we can't even we're also both on really bad wi-fi well your, your Wi-Fi's not great. You're in a hotel, right? Yeah, but I spoke to them last night and I said, listen, I'm doing a podcast with Tom Davis. I need the Wi-Fi to be absolutely tip-top. And it turns out they've not heard of you and Wolfram Abbey.

So sorry about that. Yeah, well, I was in Spain and I tried to convey that and no one listened. I did have an interesting encounter, though, out here on Sunday. So Sunday, me, Catherine and Grace went to a local beach club, just a little chill, a little nice bit of sushi vibe. Not Grace, obviously. She's not on good into the raw fish yet.

Met a couple of friends, James at the front, and Cheryl Drake, shout out. So we're there. she's not on gotten to the raw fish yet met a couple of friends straight to the front and a shell drake shout out right so we're there as the evening draws in there's

a guy arrives with two two women right and he looks a little bit like Barney Gumbel

right and the women look a bit like Selma and I can't remember the other one

you have Marge Simpson's sisters oh yeah Selma and I can't remember the other one. Yeah. Yeah. My Simpsons sisters. Oh yeah. Selma. And is it Velma? No,

I've just made that up. I can't remember. Well, anyway, the three of them arrive, right? They start quaffing back pints of lager. Quite strong lager,

right? And right in front of us, they then get into the pool, right? He lies down and starts French kissing quite intently. French kissing one of them, right? Well, the other one kissing one of them, right? Well, the other one's just sort of like... What?

Patty, that's the other sister. I'll just look it up. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Patty and Selma. So the other one swims around, right, while he is French kissing one of them, right? Quite intently French kissing. And then the other girl jumps into the pool

and then they start kissing, right? Then he gets into the pool with them and all three of them start kissing. This is like, this is about six o'clock at a family sort of beach club. There's families there, you know? Well, it sounds like very family. Sounds like two sisters are getting off of each other.

Mate, it was insane to watch, right? He then ordered a pint while they were kissing and stuff. Then they all got in the pool together, right? And they all started kissing. And then he started going underwater and... What? Yes. Holding his breath for ages.

It was like... You know when people slow down to see a car crash? Because it's like... It was a bit like that. You couldn't stop. Once you clocked what was was going on you couldn't stop walking around right after about you know half an hour 40 minutes of this going on with sort of different people going underwater and whatever and sort of like a lot of giggling and laughing and whatever he got up the pool and did a lap of honor he genuinely walked around the pool like he like everyone was going to get up and just shake his hand and go well that mate smashed it

do you know what i find incredible one that that happened and two that with all that happened in that story you bothered to tell me what drinks they ordered i mean no but i just thought it was quite nice that they were having points because usually when like when you see this kind of thing take place in like a film or saying i've not been priv you see this kind of thing take place in a film or something, I've not been privy to this kind of role. But when you watch it, it's all champagne or swish cocktails.

Yeah, whenever I've seen an incest-based threesome, it's normally gin or spirits or stuff like that. It's nice to see an old-fashioned one like that, isn't it? No, but look, I don't know about you when it comes to lovemaking,

but pints are never conducive with a good performance i wouldn't say i wouldn't say any physical activity anyone's ever really knocked back up seven pints of lager and said actually i put in the performance of my life then no well you think you are putting in the performance of your life at the time yeah and then you get a trip advisor review and it's pretty negative the next the next morning. But also, he had about seven points of lager, I reckon. And then he was underwater, I reckon, for a good three minutes at a time. Two, three minutes. Jesus.

Yeah. It's under there. He must have been so drunk he thought he'd become Aquaman. I could do this forever. I suppose the cold water would have sobered him up a bit when he was... Yeah. It was an insane thing to sit and watch also to sit and watch

with my 11 month old daughter which was yeah how necklace clutchy were you about this I mean did you guys sort of signal your disapproval or did you just kind of

talk about it and I mean at what point how graphic would that have had to get if I'm honest Catherine walked away with Grace and sat on some other beds

yeah was she appalled she wasn't really appalled she was just more like I think with that, I've had to get... If I'm honest, Catherine walked away with Grace and sat on some other beds. Yeah. Was she appalled? She wasn't really appalled. She was just more like, you know, you don't really want that sort of scene in front of you 11 months. I think it's a little bit young for Grace to see somebody going down on someone in a swimming pool.

Yeah, I would argue that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, what would you have done with your three boys in that situation? I'd say, oh, have a look at that, boys. That's how you do it. That's a man. That's a man. That's a fella.

Get off afterwards and shake his hand. Yeah. I wish he was your dad rather than me. The lessons he could teach you. Buy him another pint of lager. Yeah, that's pretty mad, man.

I'm surprised nobody complained about it. No, no. Like, literally, people were watching, but no one, yeah. And obviously, by the time, I'd say a minute and a half in, they were the only people in quite a big swimming pool.

Yeah, I'm not surprised they're the only people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean, right? You're not going to be swimming around and complaining that you can't do a full length. So, excuse me, I'm just trying to do a, yeah, I'm trying to get across the pool here. So, is this the breaststroke lane you're in?

Wow. Then they went and just took loads of selfies and stuff afterwards. Yeah, I bet they didn't want to commemorate that. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh, yeah.

Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 biweekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus.

For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really?

Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. You're not just working, you're working late. And dinner dates are all, what's your five-year plan? And you're thinking, paying off the bill for this fancy

pants meal, probably. So when you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be KD. Shop now. got to do you it's got to be kd shop now listen we've got an announcement we've got to do an announcement because i'm worried that we're going to abandon this podcast in the next few minutes because it's so terrible so we've got to announce this do you know what i'm about to announce yeah you do it you do it's good okay uh i'm incredibly excited to deliver the news that the podcast that you sometimes hear clearly but most of the time don't,

are doing too well. This is the worst announcement I've ever heard. Can I tell you the situation I'm facing, right? I'm in a really quiet hotel because I've got noise-cancelling headphones on. I don't know how loud I've been. Yeah, but also, what you've got to remember, I'm in a conference room

at any point people for the conference could turn up and I've basically got to pretend that I'm part of the conference and I've just turned up early and I'm keen

and this could be the rest of my day do you know what you look like with the beard off and the cap and the t-shirt you look like some techie that's like turned up like a keynote

the hotel's employed to sort out any can I just say any wifi or router issues. Yeah, go on. This beard off is literally... Catherine took a picture of me and Grace. The three of us went to the laundry yesterday because we were living it up while we were out here.

Yeah. And we went to do all our washing, and Grace took a picture... Oh, Grace took a picture. Catherine took a picture of me and Grace. Do you see two cousins shagging against a tumble drawer or something katherine took a picture and it was she showed me the picture and she was like laughing and i'll let you three sweet view all i could look at was how hideous my face was without a beard like someone said to me oh my god you know i can't believe what you look

like without a beard the other day like like i thought if i shaved off the beard i would be like fucking sandy from greece that i would be an absolute i've got like a fucking big fucking like square chin beautiful face underneath and the beard i've had a beard since birth i knew what was under here i knew the horrors that fucking rested below the beard. I fucking hate it. It literally, like most,

I'd say 90% of my days at the moment are just like avoiding mirrors and looking at myself. I'm going to be honest with you. The first time I saw you without a beard, I was surprised.

But I'm going to tell you now, you're a handsome man. You don't need to feel... Anyway, I'm imagining people are getting very frustrated because we've heard this beard story in the middle of the announcement so the announcement is we are delighted to deliver the news that on thursday the 5th of jan we are going to be playing manchester opera house and on saturday the 7th of jan we are going to be

playing london's south back cent banks south bank center but imagine if you made it as a newsreader playing London's South Bank Centre. Imagine if you made it as a newsreader. If you were trying to get through this, this announcement, like Hugh, Hugh's messed it. You give Hugh any announcement. Let me try again. Let me try again.

I'm delighted to tell you that on Thursday, the 5th of January, 2023, we are going to be doing a live episode of the Wolfenhauser Manchester Opera House. Following that, two days later, on on Saturday the 7th of January we will be playing London's esteemed South Bank Centre for your delectation tickets go on pre-sale to the mailing list on

Thursday the 10th of November and then on general sale on Friday the 11th of November look out for those tickets we'll be announcing uh details on instagram as well uh i hope you enjoy i don't really know to close off but there you go we're doing two we're doing two live shows yeah manchester shout out the north yeah i was at the end of that yeah and also the set i mean mean, the fact is that hopefully our tech stuff is a little bit.

Yeah, somebody else is doing the sound for that. Yeah. There's not going to be you sat at the back of a room not being able to hear two people. So, yeah, very exciting news. How do you feel about getting back out on the road? I say back on the road within two days. I'm excited, man.

Get Christmas out of the way. Enjoy Christmas, enjoy New Year, and then just be on the road with you, bro. I mean mean I assume we're not going to travel together but it's going to be exciting we are travelling together I was going to say

get like one of those sick wagons me and you in the band should we get it wrapped yeah if there's a rapping company out there who want to wrap

a Viano for one day or potentially two days we're staying in Manchester tonight after the Manchester gig, right? I assume so, yeah. Oh man,

I feel like I'm in a band. I know, it's going to be crazy. We'll probably, what, show finish about 10.30, probably get some food, bed at 11.30,

up and hit the road the next day, I guess. If I've got it, well, we hit somewhere nice, right? We get some food,

right? And then you look at me. Oh, do you know where we should go? Go on. Do you know where we should go? That curry place I went to go that curry place i went to last summer in manchester i was really hoping to sort of that party rom like i literally just just knocking off the back of like like my last sort of like color bites of a beautiful chicken masala and you suck back uh your last drain of

cobra and you smile it's a smile i haven of Cobra and you smile. It's a smile I haven't seen before. And you say, I think it's time we hit the party night. And I'm like, what the fuck? And then you get up in the middle of the restaurant and start dancing. What day of the week will it be? What did I just say? I think it's a Thursday, isn't it?

It's a Thursday. So Thursday is a potential party night. We could do we could, you know what we could do? We could do the live, we could do the live podcast. We could go out, party rom,

and then we could come back and record an episode. Mate, that would be genius. That would be insane. Are we, are we in London the next night? Are we in London? We're in London on the 7th.

Tell us, so we've got a day, we've got a day of essentially... A day of recovery. I mean, you know what happens? The party starts all over again. Oh, my guy. Romy, Romy to the max. Smashing it.

Oh, mate, that's going to be... Maybe like... Yeah. You could be like Bruce Springsteen and just sort of get someone from the crowd to come up and dance with you on stage. Yeah, or you could be like Bruce Springsteen and give someone your hat. By the way, we've had a message from the person that got your hat.

Oh, really? Yeah. They enjoyed it? They loved it. They sent a photo of them with a hat on. It was really nice. How was your weekend? Apart from Threesome Gate and the lingerie, it kind of chilled, man.

First day of filming on the Cursor 2. It was pretty sick. Out here in uh spania and uh yeah sunday yeah beach club vibes at the moment we're in a place where grace is starting to stand she's done the crawling thing now it's all about trying to stand on put herself up on like anything really so yesterday i realised while I was having a coffee and she just threw it all over a table and all over a carpet that nothing's really safe now. No. It's once they become my bowl, it's

looking after your kids becomes a lot more difficult. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And she, yes, I mean she loves you. Yeah. Oh dear, we both paused there because of our internet delay. That's unfortunate, isn't it? Yeah, now it works really well.

Whenever we reference it, it works. Once we get in a flight, it's really... Oh, God. This is so bad. Is this going to be usable, this? I mean, I kind of hope so, but then I also don't. Yeah, there's part of me that doesn't want this to go out. Do you know what I mean? I mean, there there's part of me that doesn't want this to go out do you know what I mean I mean there's a part of me

that now thinks I mean in terms of a podcast to advertise the live dates going on sale this couldn't be worse could it where I'm staying at the moment there's a lot of really really bad European TV

that's just shot really bad this feels like the lowest floor everyone who listens to this podcast and tunes in every week deserves so much more than this this is genuinely this might be the worst attempt of

trying to record something ever do you know what the most depressing thing about it is is this is us trying our hardest This might be the worst attempt of trying to record something ever. Do you know what the most depressing thing about it is? This is us trying our hardest. It'd almost be more reassuring if we're being lazy, but this is us at the absolute peak of our performance. Look, Romesh, it's the Tuesday before this goes out on a Wednesday. We've got a week to record this.

You know what this is? This is an eye-opener. This is actually, you know what, we probably need to take this a little know what this is? This is an eye-opener. This is actually, you know what, we probably need to take this a little bit more seriously. Yeah. You're listening to the Wolf and I

having an epiphany here. You know what, I will do one here. This is one of my favourite things to do. Look, there's a pad here for someone

for this conference. I might write in a pad on one of the pages, you're amazing. That's a great idea. So when they read through it and they get to it and if it's if it's not if it's not going well for them then they see that and then they just say you're amazing that's quite a cool thing to have right

yeah or they might turn up there and go do you know what the only thing that keep me going is a little bit of stationary i've been struggling i've got this pad here lucky enough i'm here because this pen doesn't even work i'll put it here give that person the pen that doesn't work take this one so you're ruining somebody else's day you've licked it I know

I know we're out of Covid mate but you're taking the piss a bit here aren't you no no I live on the edge mate none of these pens work

there we go you're amazing really nice yes they're never going to get back I mean yeah they'll think oh nine year olds

written in my face I'm freaking out because I've given them the pen that doesn't work yeah how was your weekend boy

well I had a very quiet weekend well what did I do I Friday night I hosted a hip hop quiz yeah in aid of

Calm and the Jamal Edwards Self Belief Foundation which is very fun although so martin too smooth shout out martin too smooth but he all of my stories involve me being drunk but it is what happened so i turned up to the to do the quiz and uh it was really fun but martin just kept giving me like tequila and buying me rum and stuff like that backstage.

I mean, they started DJing, and then they did an announcement to bring me on stage. And my first act walking on stage was to kick a light that was on the floor straight across the stage and nearly fall flat on my face. I mean, it was literally the first thing I did. You kicked it to be rock and roll? No, no. As in, like, I tripped over it. Like, I walked from behind the curtain. They said, welcome, Romesh Ranganathan. And then I then i walked in and just like decked it over this light when you referenced it or you referenced it or i referenced it after i'd sort of

straightened up and like walked out to the front of the stage um but the quiz was great uh really good and then the rest of weekend was very quiet very quiet. I actually cooked the swan a meal for the first time in a while. Nice. Got the recipe from the Bosch boys, you know, the Bosch vegan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Henry and Ian. They hooked me up with a little. By the way, can I just say,

the Bosch boys sound so fucking cool for vegan food, right? But when you hear the Bosch boys, you're like, fucking hell, they're about to light up every fucking vegan meal. Like, they're amazing. I do every fucking vegan meal. They're amazing. I do think that Henry and Ian doesn't sound quite as cool as... Well, I imagine that's why they went with Bosch Boys. All vegan cookbooks and vegan chefs or whatever have to have a name that belies what they're about.

That's why you see vegan cookbooks called Fuck Smash, how to get your thing on in the kitchen do you know what i mean like it's because they're trying to avoid the faxes you know it's very tofu based but um i made lisa a sun-dried tomato rigatoni oh nice did you make the pasta yourself why do you have to undermine it straight away no i didn't know what i'm saying I'm not undermining it you were showing off but and like giving it the fucking big suave John

right I'm just saying if like you've not done the pasta what's the so what is it you did the sauce

yeah but it's like quite a it wasn't that complicated actually but um it took me an hour mate that's good though an hour in the kitchen

I'll tell you I'll tell you what I did discover is that I am not good. How do you do your weekly shop? Do you go into the supermarket? Yeah, we do a big shop. We normally do it online, but on this particular occasion, I needed

specific ingredients and herbs and stuff that we didn't have in the larder. You went to the supermarket? I went to the supermarket, went to the supermarket yeah and uh what i discovered is i don't know how to navigate a supermarket um i just can't take you to the supermarket i'm the king of supermarkets yeah i was like i was like i reckon i took the longest possible route between getting all those ingredients i mean i i did so much walking like i did my daily step count just trying to get nine ingredients for this pasta.

For me, this is the one thing that people say about me, is like, even at, like, so at the moment, we're in, like, Gran Canaria. Like, even in a foreign supermarket, I'll walk in and I'll know exactly where everything is. Okay, but here's the question. There's certain things that I didn't know. So, for example,

if I give you a couple of the items in the thing, where would you look? All right? A little test okay so first off uh clove of garlic well yeah i'll be looking in the fresh fresh vegetables and fruit yeah correct okay and then um sun-dried tomatoes sun-dried tomatoes are probably i think they're usually around the sauces and the sort of tins and sort of like, you know, jars of stuff. Or in the foreign food aisle. Depends whereabouts you live, I think.

Yeah. And then harissa paste. Harissa paste will be with the Mexican food, I believe. It was near the Mexican food. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I didn't have those instincts.

So what I had to keep doing was I had to keep looking on the Tesco's website, looking up the item and then seeing what category they put it in so that I could go and find out where it was. Let me tell you what, hold on, let me just tell you what happened.

I've never heard anyone make such a fucking arse out of a fucking supermarket trip. Look, I love you dearly, but I wish you'd called me, mate. I wish you'd fucking called me. What, in Gran Canaria? Tom, I'm in Three Bridges Tesco's.

Can you tell me where the Harissa paste is? And I'd have to straight away go, mate, just head to the Lords of Mexican Food. You'll find it anywhere near there, mate. Stop crying. I'm such a member of staff and I don't know what the deal is with how much, because, you know,

one of my resentments about supermarkets is they do make you do a lot of the work. You know, they, you're going around collecting the stuff. It's all over the shop literally and then they've tried to push you to do self-service i mean what they're trying to do is get to a point where you're like tesco's are a piece of shit by the way because tesco's are getting rid of everyone one of my favorite thing about going to a supermarket is the human beings that are there

i know 70 of the people who work at my supermarket okay Okay. Well, I walked up to a member of staff and I said, excuse me, mate, would you be able to tell me where the sun-dried tomatoes are? And he said, no. What?

How old was he? I reckon 21. He's not taking it seriously. He doesn't care. His heart's not in it. But what I wondered is, he was so, like, comfortable in saying that to me.

I wondered if, like, he had a very specific role and that role was to stack the shelves and he was, he doesn't have to help customers. I don't know. Here's the news thrash, mate. When you work in a supermarket,

you know what your role is? Putting your arm around a guy who's absolutely in distress, who's basically, he's walking around like, he's got no idea. He's never really been to a supermarket before and going, fucking hell, this guy needs me. Being a good Samaritan, going, what do you want, mate?

Sun-dried tomatoes? Let me take you there. That's what you need. Yeah, but I don't think he knew where they were. Because have you seen it where the member of staff doesn't know? I've had this happen in the past. The member of staff doesn't know where the thing is happen in the past where the member of staff doesn't know where the thing is

and then you're the both of you are on an adventure now walking around the store together so you have to spot a couple of

experience and then if you never find it it's like the pressure you will find it mate I can tell you now you would find it

and what an amazing story next time you walk in you're with Theo and someone and you're quite cool because like the guy who works there goes hey bro remember me and you're with Theo and someone and you're quite cool because like the guy who works there goes hey bro

remember me and you're like oh yeah yeah and they're like oh my god dad do you know someone who works here and you're like

yeah yeah I've often wondered what would sort of reignite my teenage son's respect for me and I think you're probably right he's a Tesco's

member of staff recognising me recognising you for the right reason because you had an I imagine he'd get back he'd get home and he'd get on the

phone to his mates and he'd go, you've got a couple of test codes with me and my dad. It's going to blow your mind. It's like a handshake

and a sort of like a knowing look and then he'd probably joke, the guy there would go, do you know where the Sunderland Smiles are?

And you'd laugh and go, yeah, because you showed me the X last time, mate. Get out of it, Simon.

And that would be it. Have you ever, have you ever have you ever gone to a restaurant with somebody on holiday or wherever where they know the stuff or they've gone to that restaurant regularly it's one of the most cringy well i mean i've talked to somebody that does this regularly to other people walking into a restaurant with some people that know the restaurant is it's it's some of the most arse-clenchingly embarrassing interactions you can fucking have. Well, this is the difference between you, because I think

it's kind of cool. So, Hugo, you fucking absolute prick, because you know that I'm that person. You fucking snake. Hugo Chegwin came over to see me with his family. Oh, God.

One of Hugo's lines was, do you know everyone who works here? Oh, God. Oh, if you cut me on a Tuesday, you're doing banter and stuff. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's hard to do banter in another language, but I'm sort of getting there.

Yeah. And also, you know what? It's good for Grace to see me chatting to people, a laugh and stuff it's like yeah you know uh and because a lot of the time when you're in a different country like in england you can have a bit about like i don't know enough spanish uh and i don't want them to have to sort of like you know be pushed to just like broken english so a lot of the stuff i do is quite physical humor right give me an example right yeah well like sort of like i'll pretend that the food's disgusting but actually it's

really really lovely so it sort of makes them laugh um show me show me what that looks like mr davis is everything okay? And I'll go, like that. And then I'll go, yes, I have seen Mr. Bean, Mr. Davis, yes, I know the show very well. Do not let Teddy know. You know the saddest fucking thing of all is I think that they really like me and they all go

over and go uh how was mr davis today oh he's doing that that's the pretty impression and also because i've been here like i'm here for like another week or so it's sort of like i do feel a bit like alan partridge at times i'm in a proper hotel it's a bit yeah it's not like i'm in a sort of like like you and you're sort of like tripping it out in a villa. I feel, yeah, it's a bit. Yeah, but you're in a nice hotel. We got a lot of comments about your backdrop on the last episode. Yeah, kind of GTL.

I mean, it's a bit better. What I was at. You're on full swag. Yeah, yeah. That's why I've had to drop it down to this humble brown walnut. That's what we've got now. Today. Something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters hey i just got us a new Coca-Cola spice. Nice.

What's it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. We all have the power to shape the world.

We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo. The spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the big top

at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Okay, so listen, I think what we need to do is we do a couple of emails and we duck out because we don't even know i don't even know how much time to commit to this now yeah yeah well let's

let jt be the judge of it okay you ready hit me up uh okay this is from anonymous uh hi tom and romesh i've recently discovered your podcast and I'm making my way through the early episodes. I'm not a big podcast listener, but yours and Hip Hop Saved My Life are the only time I listen to you regularly. Loved every minute of it. Laugh out loud. Funny.

Apologies for the long email. Couple of things from me. First, Ramesh, I'd like to apologise to you. You probably don't remember this, but a few years ago at a Kano gig, I saw you and rather than doing what I would normally do, let you have your privacy, I thought I'd got to you,

but I was starstruck and a bit lost for words hopefully i wasn't annoying secondly i've just gone through the episodes about celebrity endorsements and i regularly think about whether kevin bacon has an ae contract um i don't remember you specifically a none uh but i don't remember being annoyed by anybody at the k-note gig so don't worry about it okay now i'm in need of some anonymous advice i'm recently engaged and we're at a guest list stage of the planning now romesh as i'm sure you'll know planning an asian wedding means parents want to invite everyone they've ever interacted with but i managed to get the numbers down to respectable number but i'm in a dilemma about a certain group of friends

who i've known for almost 10 years and spent a year studying abroad with them at university we don't see each other as regularly as before but still close one of the members of the group has decided to cut everyone else out of their life apart from me now i want to invite her and the others but i'm worried about any awkwardness a broken friendship would have on my wedding day ideally they'd be on the same table etc but they don't speak or interact what should i do do i invite them all do i invite only the friends that are still friends or do i admit them all from the guest list thanks in advance anon wedding guests are absolutely they're a fuck fest aren't they they're proper like we had we had so many people in our wedding guest list that uh and then i didn't want certain people coming from one side of the family then that

caused the whole fucking argument with with my mom it was because it's similar in a way irish weddings aren't too dissimilar from asian wedding you've pretty much got to invite everyone and people that like oh you'd have to invite kathleen and joe and you're like who are kathleen and joe so we went on holiday with them when you were nine it's like it's fucking insane and it and also everyone just assumes they want to party what what i'd say about it like we agonized over it for a long long time me and katherine and i don't know about you there's so many people who came to my wedding i just have nothing to do with i don't like they were really important at that time in my life it was like you know obviously

but then time goes on so number one the saddest thing i'd say about a wedding actually like wedding pictures we go through them every now and again or you look you know one will come up in your memories on your iPhone. And the amount of times when you see couples who used to be together who aren't anymore, and you think, fucking hell, like that. They were a couple on the most important day of our life. And now they've split up. And one of them you'll never hear from again. It's such a strange thing.

I think, in a sense, look, my wedding day was incredible. It was a great party and it's a brilliant drink but i think you can get a little bit dizzy and a little bit spun out by thinking about who's going to be there and actually the important thing is is it's you guys and i think that the one thing i'd say is on the day there was no real i mean there was a couple of arguments and stuff between couples and and whatever like usually when drinks are involved. But if you're bringing anything to the table that's already going to be booked in animosity, I'd probably try and swerve that. And I think if you're still very close and you get on really well with the people

that you spoke to at university and you went through this amazing time, if there's one person who doesn't get on with the rest of them, I think it's probably one of those scenarios of if um if you can't find a dickhead in a room it's probably them and i think you know you don't want to ostracize one person but if they're they're not getting on with everyone else i'd say it's probably better just and you do i'd say to invite the majority it seems bad singling someone out if they've just made a decision not to talk to anyone from that group then yeah i think it's probably best just to go that way um yeah you don't want to bring any of that to it but have an amazing day the bit of

advice i think i've probably given it to someone on here before but and someone gave it to me it's just take five ten minutes of just you and your your other half just to pull yourselves away from everything else that's going on i mean like our wedding was insane like one of the one of katherine's maid of honor had sex with one of my groomsmen before the fucking like they just went off and had the one night's like one night stand before the fucking wedding dinner it's like before the dancing before the big drink yeah you do that after dinner if you're gonna do that don't you so i'd say that um but yeah just make sure you have that little time remember what it is right

you can get lost you can get lost in what your parents think and what your friends think and what your family are about and who's happy and who's not. It's about you two. It's about your day. It's about you two treasuring the moment that you've come together

and yeah, enjoy that moment, man. Yeah, I agree what Tom said. I've got slightly different advice. It sounds like you want to invite all these people. My advice to you would be to speak to this friend that's cut everyone else off and say look I want to invite everybody is that going to be a problem it's my wedding day are you going to be cool with that and then see what they say um because look the end of the day it's your day and you want to invite who you want to invite and they've got us they've got to keep it in line I mean so it's not your problem do you know what I mean like you want to invite you want to invite who you want to invite and they've got us they've got to keep it in line i mean so it's not your problem do you know i mean like you want to invite you want to invite you

say to them i want to invite you but i also want to invite the rest of the group of friends um is that going to be an issue and if it is going to be an issue they can't come do you mean and like if there's any if they've got anything about them they won't make you choose so i think if you want to invite you invite who you want but it sounds like you need to have a little pre-emptive chat with that person and go look what's the deal with this because this is who i want to invite and if they give you any kind of problems about that then you don't invite them because you know this is about you celebrating your it's about you celebrating your love you know that's emotional you actually by the way like at the end you went very like sort of

Richard Curtis kind of vibe you felt a little bit like you'd feel like you'd see just celebrating your life you actually sounded really cool

yeah I know do you know what what happened was is that I got nervous about saying something so earnest and then my response was to say

more earnest than I've ever said anything so it was awful you know what I'd love is if this couple were getting married and it was just like a moment they stare into their eyes and then you were just on a balcony and it's sort of like in wherever it is they get married the church cathedral whatever and you just turned around and just were like um guys it's about these two

celebrating their love yeah i just sort of they look across the balcony and I'm just finishing a cigarette. Look up at them. I just thought I'd come and join you as you celebrate your love. And then they say something like, how did you get in? Could you leave? It's quite cool initially, but then they realize I've not really got any chat.

Isn't that Ishan Akbar from What The Wind? Anyway, good luck Anonymous I hope you have a great time okay should we do one more one more brother yeah

okay this is from Anonymous oh no Anxious Turtle sorry it's from Anxious Turtle. I'd love your advice on confidence. I've always been a quiet person,

and I found lockdown made me go into my shell even more. Now when I'm out with friends at a social event, I struggle to join in with the banter and find myself getting quieter and quieter. I can visibly see people getting bored when they chat to me. When I say I've always been a quiet person, I have. I'm not the tallest guy, so not one to walk in and command a room, but'd always have a funny sarcastic sense of humor and I have friends that

share my dry sense of humor now that seems to have gone me and my wife laugh together every day and all is good there but during lockdown I've been and during lockdown I've been really consistent with working out I now find myself skipping drinking sessions for the gym as I'm not keen on drinking as I used to be either it's not just with this group of friends within multi-groups and colleagues too I always enjoy working on my own too and I've recently started looking into getting an autism diagnosis hearing Fern Brady talking a podcast really resonated with me just wondering if you had any advice on how to get my old confidence back over I'm quite happy in my life and doing regular therapy sessions which has helped in other areas

thanks for the podcast it's my absolute favorite anxious turtle tom davis you know anxious turtle um number one um i don't think you're confident like just listening like you know having never met you just like having to sort of like attain what i've you know listen to what your email sounds like i don't think it's a loss of confidence i think you've just moved on like i i could this resonates so so much with me um and what i was talking about earlier with the going to the beach club and like i you know i've i think i've talked about this from like before but from the sort of you know 16 i worked in an environment where every day pretty much six days a week would involve me going to the pub after work and drinking and alcohol being a massive

massive part of my life and who I was and that sort of that up until lockdown that was that was pretty much every sort of circle that I was in every group that I was in was all about going out and getting absolutely smashed like and and having or not even smashed just having like seven pints and that being quite a normal evening out and during lockdown I sort of changed up really and that's where i started working out and that was more than anything just because yeah i wanted to be healthier i had a few health issues um i think number one if you you're in a situation where you and your wife make each other laugh every day that's an amazing blessing that's an incredible thing that you know i think i think most people in

the world would change up anything else like to to thing, to have someone that they go home to every night and they make laugh and you make each other laugh. That's your number one priority, not the rest of the outside noise. The fact is that I think when you stop drinking and you start working out, there is a little bit of that sort of like the bantery sort of way that can sometimes sort of fade out a little bit. But maybe you've just outgrown the people that you're around. That happens in life.

You move on. Like the circle of friends that I've been friends with since I was 14, like recently you just realize that we've not got anything in common anymore. And that's no slight against them and it's no sort of slight against myself. It's just sometimes you just realize that we've not got anything in common anymore and that's that's no slight against them and it's no sort of slight against myself it's just sometimes you just move on and it's like yeah that that you might just be in that situation i wouldn't be hitting yourself like beating yourself up for that you seem like a pretty rounded human being and you seem like you've got your priorities in order when it comes to work your wife your home life and uh yeah man

keep doing you bro yeah um anxious turtle uh i totally agree with tom i i don't think you have a problem i think you know a lot of these you've got friends that you enjoy the company of um and you you have a great time with your other half these people that are like commanding a room and stuff like that often those friendships are really sort of hollow. And actually, you know, it's not a bad thing to keep your circle small and just have friendships with people that you really trust.

You know, I'm friends with, I don't have loads of friends, but the people that I am friends with are people that I would do anything for and I'd hope vice versa. I would, by the way, BTW. Oh, thanks, mate. I mean, you're in that circle, I Oh, thanks, mate. No, no, yeah.

I mean, you're in that circle, I suppose, depending on how this podcast continues to go. But, yeah, I don't think you need to worry about it. I think you're giving yourself anxiety over something that you don't need to be anxious about. Be yourself. And what you'll find is that people that are... There are people that aren't sort of loud and brash.

I'm not criticising people that are loud and confident. There's nothing wrong of loud and brash and yeah i'm not criticizing people that are loud and confident there's nothing wrong with that you know i mean but if you're not you will find people that are more like that i mean there's nothing wrong with that at all so um i would just be comfortable in that and and know that you know you've got the people that you care about and people that care about you and don't worry about it stop looking at um elsewhere and thinking i want it to be better you've got it great man you're doing really well you know and you sound like a great guy so people will gravitate towards you the right people gravitate towards you you know i mean you don't have to shout loudest to attract people um the right actually if you're

quieter the right people come to you so good luck with that man don't worry about it remember the remember the ode of Robbie Williams? He was absolutely terrified when he left like that because he had to move on on his own and navigate with the world. And then he wrote Angels or performed Angels. Yeah. And look how shy he is, you know?

And he's done great. So there you go. Remember also, and I think we all should get this tattooed. Remember, you've got friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life. Keep that in your mind.

Yeah, please do. Don't get it tattooed, though, would be my advice. Okay, Tom, we come to the end of, I would say, one of the frontrunners for the worst episode of this podcast

we've ever recorded. And I'm saying that not knowing if this is going to actually go out or not. It feels like I'm about to sort of throw my heart into something that might, like, even if people have listened to 60% of this, they might not get to this bit. But bear with me.

What is friendship? What is friendship? It's a heartfelt message when someone crosses your mind. It's a hand on the back where you want to give someone some support. It's a heartfelt message when someone crosses your mind. It's a hand on the back where you want to give someone some support. It's a smile and a football being pulled out from a car boot when you feel, hey, this person needs a run around. But it's also reaching out every now and again to say, I need a friend.

I need someone to hear me, someone to be there. It's about sticking with two people who care a lot about you and you also care about them and even though maybe the transmission and the wi-fi isn't as strong the heartfelt sentiment is there we adore you we implore you to listen more and listen once more again oh that's lovely it's very much in keeping with how the rest of the pod has gone so that's implore you to listen more and listen once more again. Oh, that's lovely. It's very much in keeping with how the rest of the pod has gone, so that's good.

Okay. Okay. The song to play us out, JT, I've just got into a rapper called Smino. He did a song called 90 Proof for J. Cole. So could you play us out with a little. I've just got into a rapper called Smino. He did a song called 90 Proof for J. Cole. So could you play us out with a little bit of that, please? If it's possible, JT,

just to keep it in keeping with the rest of the podcast, could you play this through your car stereo, record it onto your phone and then play that version of it? Guys, I'm really sorry about this week's podcast if this indeed does go out

remember to look out for live dates look after yourselves and each other I don't know I've ripped off Jerry Springer's catchphrase

but I keep doing it everywhere we'll see you soon guys on this I'm going to get my mic fixed we'll see you next time on this little ride that we call The Wolf and Out. Bye-bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all,

please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.