Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 2: Paper Maps & Gig Mishaps

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

We’re talking…. loud openings, paper maps vs sat nav, car racing hobbits, star quality and false modesty, Crawley gig mishaps, awkward photo moments, working the room and divisive fashion. Then, after an update on last week’s ‘arse pebble’, we answer emails about not having many friends, maintaining a relationship through university, and meat-based wedding cakes. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping.

Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello, hello. It's episode two of season two on the wolf in our podcast tom said he was ready but he's still sort of adjusting his microphone i've got it now

inside the place this is another bed episode chilled back in bed you're talking right into the top of it oh is it really bad it really is just quite it's quite aggressive are you gonna hold it like that for the whole hour? I'm literally starting off holding it up like I'm Liam Gallagher at Nedworth just about to fucking smash out the final shot of the night and then regretting it 25 minutes in when my arm's getting all tired. Yeah, I could just see that that was going to be a problem. You know, like, we've just been doing Romantic Getaway, and you know when they're blocking or they want to frame up

or whatever on a shot, so they ask you to hold something so i had a bag or something you got to hold it up so they go can you just hold that up so we can see and what you don't want to let on is that after about a minute that starts to become incredibly painful right but but it doesn't look like it is so one of the things i become paranoid about when i'm filming is looking like i'm out of touch or looking like one of these on-screen people that's like become a diva or something like that so just sort of going i'm i'm sorry i i just don't know how much longer i'm gonna be able to hold this bag up like this could you could you frame up quicker please it's like a fear you have to do any scenes when you've got do something like i can when i'm acting i'm gonna make i can walk and i can talk at the same time

because when you've got to focus on what the lines are and stuff and yeah but if you then add a third thing like having to carry something or open something if you watch go back and watch most of my career and most of my acting very rarely can I do three things at once I'm possible a lot of time I walk

stop say something and then walk it that's King Gary I did that the whole time I was like i can't yeah like league of their own for example which i'm fine because i haven't got any lines to remember but if i've got lines to remember i find it as soon as any other part of my body starts working it's like my brain just switches off and it just focuses on my legs one of the things i i cannot stand but has to be right is continuity and continuity is i don't want to patronize people but like

if you're handling a book or something or eating a bowl of cereal you do your first take and if they decide to match to that take then every other take you've got to do you've got to eat the cereal at exactly the same time right that that's that's basically how it works and if you don't get it right somebody comes over and goes just so you know, after you said monkey, you took a spoonful of cereal, right? I had a scene. By the way, one of the worst explanations for continuity, I think, on record. But I had to walk around with a map. And so I'm walking with a map.

I'm talking. And then I fold the map to start talking to Catherine, right? Oh, God. Mate, the number of times we had to redo the take because i hadn't folded the map the right way or i'd folded it on the wrong line or i'd folded it over katherine's dialogue by the way that's the biggest dickheads in the world fuck fuck maps right this no one's ever folded like when you buy a friend my dad's obsessed with new maps right we go somewhere he'll go i'm gonna go and get a map of the area right and he's he's got that shit down.

He'll open it, put it back exactly like it is. The fucking logistics of opening a folded map. It's literally, I've, I've brought maps before that are still out in my house. Cause I've got, I've had to drive back from where we are on holiday, but I don't know why I've even brought a map.

Why do you even need an actual paper map in 2022? When these phones have got everything on them? I mean, there's something quite lovely about them because you think you're long John Silver and shit. Yeah, I know. There's something nice about having them. There's something that plays into your sort of ancient masculinity of leading the way. Do you know what I mean?

When I started gigging, how long have I been gigging for? Like 11 11 12 years something like that right when i started going to gigs i didn't have sat nav and even if sat nav was about i couldn't afford it so what i would do is i would google the venue and then do one of those you know the route thing oh yeah the way it does the instructions and then print that off and have it it's so fucking dangerous i'd have it on the passenger seat right just be like occasionally looking down to it and then so you'd be doing that absolute fucking like road hazard and then what would happen is i would miss an instruction and obviously you're not in a live thing if you've

got sat nav it goes oh you fucked it mate you're gonna need to take a right there you haven't got that so what you have to do is like you have turn around, try and retrace your steps to when you, like, went off the track, and then start and replay it from that point. It's insane. Amazing that I ever got to any gig ever. The pressure, right, I used to have, like, so when I was scaffolding back in the day, right, I couldn't drive, certainly couldn't drive a scaffold,

right, so one of my jobs would be reading the map, right? Yeah. Most of it was inner London london so someone would literally pass you and when i was fucking great like an a to z fucking massive a to z and you go right you're going this address this address this so say we go to three different houses in a day you then have to work out the map the route on the map and have to literally so so a song came comes on that you like, right? And you start singing along. That's a little bit Elton John, Tiny Dancer comes on.

You're having a little bit of a sing-along, right? Yeah. Then you completely lose your place in the map, right? Yeah. And he'd go, where are we? Didn't even have the Google printouts. And you could be anywhere. So then you're trying to hustle around, trying to find anything.

It's like an insane computer game and then it would always just be like you'd get back about 5 o'clock that evening and you were meant to be we could have

been back at 2.30 if it wasn't for Tom's Mac reading and then what do you say I'm really sorry I got carried away singing along to

Tiny Dancer yeah but I mean yeah how does that go down in the scaffolding community mate let me tell you scaffolding community

right they love a ballad they love a little bit of Elton John some of my happiest memories were How does that go down in the scaffolding community? Mate, let me tell you, scaffolding community, right? Yeah. They love a ballad. They love a little bit of Elton John. Yeah. Some of my happiest memories were standing on the back of a big old flatbed truck singing along to sort of, yeah, big ballad songs and, yeah.

You know Rocketman? Yeah. I don't know if we talked about this on the podcast. I think we might have done. But at the end of Rocketman, there's a bit, spoiler alert, there's a bit where it's all out. The chronology is all over the place, whatever, in terms of the songs and stuff like that.

But Elton John, long story short, he went through it, right? He went through it pretty bad. And at the end, there's a scene where Taron Egerton, who's amazing as Elton John. Phenomenal. Just unreal, right? He gets up and starts singing I'm Still Standing. It closes the film, right?

And you know, like, I have certain things, certain videos I watch where, like, if I'm feeling, like, down or that I'm not going to be able to do this thing at work that I've got to do, I watch a video or I listen to a song and it gets me pumped up. Yeah. I have watched Taron Egerton sing I'm Still Standing,

I reckon, rough estimate, 40 times. It's incredible. Every time, I feel fucking pumped, man. Just like, yes!

Fucking got it and fucking smashed it. It's so, it's actually embarrassing. I just sat there in my dressing room, just with the phone in front of me, just watching the,

watching the video. Literally, that's the thing you need. I've got the same with any Leona Lewis song. I will listen to a Leona Lewis song me just watching the video. Literally, that's the thing you need. I've got to say with any Leona Lewis song, I will listen to a Leona Lewis song and just feel like I can actually, as soon as the hook comes in,

I'm like, I'm ready. But on the watching video things, you know, this is so fucking, I will go back, there's an episode, do you remember, did you ever watch Lost? I think we talked about it.

Yeah. I mean, I gave up on it pretty early doors, but yeah, I did watch it. I watched it too. Lisa had a real've talked about it. Yeah. I mean, I gave up on it pretty early doors, but yeah, I did watch it. Lisa had a real thing for Sawyer. Absolutely. Oh yeah,

he was so cool. So cool. I had a bit of a thing for Sawyer in Fulham West. I mean, he's what, a hot guy? Do you know what I mean?

And he's just sort of done nothing really since. No. And he had all the sort of fundaments of being like a Bradley Cooper kind of guy. Yeah, he really did.

Actually, maybe we should put him in something. Why don't we put him in our next project? Me and you should do a project, right, where we're two bounty hunters and we've got to sort out a real big criminal and that criminal's played by the guy who played Sawyer. That's a great idea.

And he basically does the same character as Sawyer. Or we should do a thing where we actually try and revive Sawyer's career. He plays Sawyer again no he plays he plays himself we play two guys

who obsess with the character also obsessed with him because both their wives find him amazingly attractive and just sort of start hanging around with him and like wanting to be

more like him what did he wear like he wore he had a leather jacket denim jeans I think it was he was a denim kind of he always had cowboy boots on

that was a great thing about Lost as well he didn't have a change of clothes no yeah you have one costume i mean what must they have smelt like by the way well i know i think i always i always think that about jungle book like how smelly that little loincloth that mogli was what the cartoon you know the little he's wearing that since he's a baby all the time and he's there's no way he's not had at least one skidder in there no no and and they never show any scenes where he's like by a rock sort of beating it and cleaning it and stuff like that i can't remember really seemed it lost where they were i suppose it lost though you did have other people's luggage

that you could go through and just sort of cherry pick oh my god i've just seen a picture of him with like his top yeah it's just insanely hot i mean it's a picture of him with like his top on. Yeah, it's incredible. It's just insanely hot. It's a lot of shirts and jeans. Yeah, go on. One of the bits that like, absolutely, I remember watching it like at the time when he jumped from the helicopter to save everyone else. You're like, oh my God, you're incredible. Yeah.

You know how I couldn't stand was Jack. Yeah, I didn't like Jack either. But the thing that I was obsessed with, there's an episode called The Greatest Hits. It's all about Charlie. Yeah, I didn't like Jack either. But the thing that I was obsessed with, there's an episode called The Greatest Hits. It's all about Charlie. Yeah. He's played from, I can't remember the fella's name. He was terrible at me,

but he was one of the hobbits from Lord of the Rings. He was one of the hobbits from Lord of the Rings, was he? Yeah, he was one of the hobbits, yeah. As opposed to one of the hobbits from Fast and Furious. You prick. I'd love to see hobbits from Fast and Furious. You prick. I'd love to see Hobbits in Fast and Furious. That would be the best thing ever. It's Diesel turning around and going,

get in! And then fucking three little Hobbits just scurry in. Give one of them a machine gun and strap him to the roof. Or just fucking whiz it up in a fucking Mazda. Handbrake turning into it. It's about family. It's about family. I mean, actually, they're quite similar in the way they vibe out, isn't it? Yeah, they're all about family, those guys.

But there was a bit of Charlie, when Charlie gives up his life for Eden to save. I mean, that's his, you know, same as Sawyer did, really. But it's really, sometimes I watch that episode and it makes me feel so morose and so sad, but there's something amazing about it. It's actually a really, really well written piece of work

because he's chatting to this guy that he hardly knows on this little boat and he says, these are my greatest hits. These are the best moments of my life. And he goes through them, he's listed them all off.

It's really good. You know who I'm in love with at the moment? Go on. Like, properly in love with the character. Yeah. I don't know what the actor's like,

but the character. Steve Harrington in Stranger Things. Oh, wow. Right? That guy, everything he does, I love. Like,

this is a bit tragic what i'm about to say but i'm so in love with him i wish that steve harrington existed and i could meet him do you mean like i just think i just love the dude man so much but me and you have talked about this before in here have you seen the kid who plays billy his audition tapes no what for stranger things for stranger things no it's fucking incredible like how good he is yeah it's amazing like anyone who wants to be an actor or whatever like you know wants to be an actor anyone out there it's all right genuinely if you want to know how to do it like i've been in this game 11 12 years right i've been in this a long time i've done so many different audition tapes i've been in so many audition rooms

i've watched this audition right and i thought how the fuck have i been in it it's long no wonder i've had to write my own stuff because the caliber of people auditioning are like this the kid who plays billy and that's what i'm up against literally i'm lucky that i've not ended up in, I don't know, in like amateur dramatics. It's as good as when you see him on screen.

Yeah. Like the director must have gone, just do what you did in your audition, mate. I do think, like obviously, there's a lot of talent, loads of talent involved in that. I also think

it's also a willingness to commit to what you're doing. Yeah. I mean, like, and you have to sort of get rid of your ego and like make a real decision. Also, let me just say, it helps that he's not got his top on for most of it.

And he's stunningly good looking. Yeah. Let me tell you this now. I reckon, I don't even know how much better my self-tape would have to be than his with my top off for me to get the part over him i can't even imagine what kind of performance i'd have had to turn in for them to go do you know what do you know what i don't mind him having that body he's so good i want it to be him i want it to be him that you know who's who's so cool out of that

is uh david harbour like Hopper oh god what a character what a character but what that guy right I was out filming I think it was Action Team in Bulgaria

it was Action Team or Plebs one of the two and I had to I spent like three years on and off going out of Bulgaria

for a big stage and he was out there filming Hellboy and he was filming in the same studio lot as we were filming, where we were filming.

And a couple of times I sort of walked past him and you know that someone, he just like nodded or sort of like, like he's got Idris Kul. Do you know what I mean? He's just epically cool. Like, just, like, you know,

when someone's just not trying. Like there's no way, and it's, I love you with all my heart. You know how much I love you, right? Okay. I know where this is going. No, but me and you, no, me and you, this is I love you with all my heart you know how much I love you right okay I know where this is going no but me and you no me and you

this is me and you right yeah there's a moment in your life that you realise you'll never be that like something would go like if me and you tried to be so cool

you could walk past and do a nod of acknowledgement and just a sort of little half smile for me and you the nod would be too massive

or the smile would be too cheesy yeah we just keep on walking right yeah david harbour has literally just got that sort of that vibe about him yeah like he just walks yeah he's like he's like he walks between the raindrops what a guy yeah well there's certain people that um certain people i was chatting to to jeff norcott yesterday we're talking about this new series of Obi-Wan. There's no point in talking to you about it, obviously. But I was talking to him about that,

and he said he didn't bump into it. He saw Ewan McGregor just out and about. And obviously, Jeff's like a massive, massive Star Wars fan. Humongous Star Wars fan. Even bigger than me, right? And he said, I just was like captured by his kind of aura. Like he said, his first thought was like, who is this magical person? He sort of felt like.

But he said that some people, and I don't know if you, I don't know. I definitely don't have this. Some people just have stardust. They just have that thing where you talk to them. And I can't figure out, I've tried to figure out whether it's because they're so famous or it's because they were always going to be like that. I mean, because obviously Jeff seeing Ewan McGregor and he's seen him in Star Wars be a fucking unbelievable as Obi-Wan, by the way. Like that guy is unreal as Obi-Wan Kenobi. So there's all of that tied up into it.

So I don't know whether it's that or just that the guy has got something. But some people have just they just carry themselves with this demeanor of it doesn't matter what i would have ended up doing i would have been the most popular guy working at burger king yeah i've just got this do you know i mean i've just got this fucking charisma and thing about me do you mean that draws people to if he'd be working at an insurance company he'd be like the fucking slickest dog there exactly the absolute don do you mean like he'd be wearing like a turtleneck all winter long in his suit. He'd never wear a shirt and tie.

It's such a weird thing, isn't it? How do you get that? How does that come? I think you have to be born with it. What do you reckon? Well, I think it requires a level of comfort in your own skin that you and I,

I can't imagine we're going to possess unless we undergo a severe course of self-development. I don't think we've got it in our future, to be honest with you. And also, I worry that you'd lose your... How would you be self-deprecating if you're that cool and that epic? Well, I find self-deprecation when somebody isn't the thing really fucking irritating, I've got to be honest with when somebody isn't the thing really fucking irritating.

Yeah. I've got to be honest with you. You know when really hot people on Instagram go, woke up feeling really bad about my face today. It looks like it's hanging off my skull or whatever. And you just look at them and you go, you look better than I've ever looked in my life. Like in the dark.

Do you know what I mean? I can't accept that from you as a comment. This is ugly Sunday, is that what you think? Yeah, exactly. Like, oh God, how am I going to go to the shops today looking like this? Looking like what? One of the hottest people on the planet. And listen,

I'm being unfair because people have their own insecurities. There's a guy, and I don't know why I follow him, but I follow him, I won't name him, but he's sort of like through reality TV. And he'll do one like that on a sort of like weekend and he'll just do that thing and it'll always be topless. He'll always just like lean his head back

and then he'll sort of like smile at the camera, shake his head and really throw his hair around. Like his hair's just really like loose and then he'll just go, I can't be bothered today. And then just close his eyes and lean back. If you can't be bothered, why is that attempt 100? I don't know if you can't be bothered. Why is the first thing you've done when you've woken up going,

I'm just going to wash my face, put something under these eye bags, then I'm going to do an Instabake video to say I can't be bothered. You know what people who can't be bothered do? They don't want to do an Instagram video to say I can't be bothered. You know, you know what people who can't be bothered do? They don't go on Instagram. They just wallow in their own filth for the day. Yeah. That's what normal people do.

They have a countdown clock for Chinese takeaway at midday. Yeah. What's the earliest? Just phoning up at 1130 on the off chance that somebody might've come in. That is such a weird, like I've done that. I've done that for i've done the early evening thing where you call them at like 5 30 and you don't answer you're going oh

hello we don't know we don't know it's open till like six you're like oh okay no no i'm just you know it's exciting you've just done this can i can i get the first dibs on the or because the phones go crazy at six i actually have so so much respect for people who open answer calls for takeaways on a busy weekend. Yeah. I feel like. Me too. They don't get anything for it.

People are very stressed at that point and they're taking a phone call every 30 seconds. Oh, incredible. What an incredible human being. Incredible work they're doing. I need to check something with you. Yeah. Because I'm slightly embarrassed about something.

And you and I spent the weekend together. We spent a lot of time together, actually. We've gone from a detox from each other to being fully embroidered in each other's lives. So Saturday night, you were doing my brother's gig in Crawley, and I came down just to see you. Shout out Crawley, the people of Crawley. Amazing people who came along. Yeah. Can I just say one thing, actually, about Crawley and I came down just to see you shout out Crawley the people at Crawley amazing people who came along

yeah can I just say one thing actually about Crawley and that like oh god no we know I know a little bit

about Crawley like I would say he's one of my favourite crowds I've played to lovely people for the most part

incredible but so we did an early show that your brother Dinesh so we had this Dinesh and Claire shout him out and done like so it was a 6.30 show in where we did our stuff show that your brother you know Dinesh so we had this Dinesh and Claire show I'm out

I'd done like so it was a 6.30 show where we did our stuff and then we went on again at half eight nine number one the people of Corlia fucking hard right

there was a monsoon it absolutely fucking lashed down the rain was incredible yeah during the first show right just as it was kind of the end of my set

I was opening and no one had brought Umbrellas or Cagoules for a gig in England in the summertime it was coming to the end of my set, I was opening, and no one had brought Umbrellas or Cagoules. For a gig in England, in the summertime, it was like, number one,

they were absolutely, completely shocked. I mean, I was wearing shorts, so I was as silly as them. You were as culpable as them. Yeah, yeah,

of course. But they were like, literally, but they sat through the gig. Like, they were like, having to be told to go, like,

oh, there's electricity everywhere, and it's raining quite a lot. So I was like, shout out to people at Crawley for that. But after the first show, which ended at, having to be told to go like oh there's electricity everywhere and it's raining quite a lot so i was like shout out to people who call you for that but after the first show which ended at 7 30 quarter to eight someone went to the toilet a man went to the toilet the cubicle obviously was being used and he shat on the floor of the toilet yeah yeah that's quite normal in crawler genuinely that's happened at 3am or whatever,

you could sort of give someone... But for that to happen at 7.30... Do you know what I don't understand about that? So a few days ago, we were filming at a golf club, right? And we rapped, and I was getting ready to go home, and they said, just get changed in the green room bit quickly. But there are other people using that green room, right? So I would say the three seconds that I had my trousers off and the three seconds that i had my top off were some of the

most terrifying moments of my life the fear of somebody walking in and seeing me like that right the idea that you would comfortably shit on a toilet floor and not be concerned about somebody walking in and seeing you curling one out it's insane what would you say i'm sorry the toilet was busy sorry the toilet was busy like it's just like when i walked in there and like i believe the man who runs it's called dan shout out dan and he just finished clearing it out and i was just going into the uh just before i mean imagine imagine that so dan dan we got a little situation oh god is the toilet flooded no actually somebody's actually smashed out a cable on the floor he was horrified but it's so embarrassed it's like i was at his house and one of his family had done it all right but i just don't i can't

fathom how that but then you know that thing that i think i don't know if we've talked about on here before we've talked about i mean you talked about in real life when you you're filming, right, because we filmed together on Sunday, sometimes if I'm filming, I can go 14 hours without shit. Yeah. I find it really hard, like, when you're being, like, rushed from pillar to post,

to have that bit of time where you just go, you know, I'm just going to really take myself out of this situation and just let one drop. Sometimes, I've held it in for so long because I've been filming, I've had to retrain my arsehole to release it. It's so weird.

Like my body's just gone, oh, you want to keep this from now on? Yeah, all right. I mean, you know it's going to start coming up out through your throat in a bit, you know that. But if that's what you want to do, that's what you want to do.

The fucking crazy thing is that you know at some point just the logic of how your body works is you're going to have a day where all you do is shit. Yeah. So that's a work at home day. day yeah and it's going to be fucking really dark matter that draws all light into it because it's been sort of but even in that scenario i can't think of a situation where i'd be like at a service station and i go oh it's on the floor do you reckon do you reckon he squatted or do you think he it was from a stood position i think he squatted i think he squatted

like low i almost i almost oh i'd say i'm 90 sure that i know who the person who did it is whoa yeah okay um anyway we've digressed a little bit because the reason i'm sort of talking about it is because i've done two social media posts uh that i'm slightly well i did a post about you yeah because we spent the weekend together it's a lovely weekend we filmed for league of their own on sunday and it was a fucking great day like i cannot believe that was a day at work yeah we had a we had a we had a nice time at the crawley comedy club shout out then it's a great gig and that's my brother's gig but i then did a post of a photo of us going had a wonderful time with the wolf this weekend or whatever and then after i posted it i thought is that a bit tragic do you mean like

i genuinely actually thought wow this is it really meant a lot to me yeah you didn't share it um i put my own picture up of us on the pitch at the Pro Park yeah because yeah the picture where I look considerably worse you decided to choose that one no

you right let me just say by the way no actually while we're on this subject there's a couple of things I want to talk about

two things that you're guilty of right stitch up things the first stitch up thing is you are never shy of sharing a shit photo of a mate all right no no no no no listen that's hold on this one of your favorite things to do is share a shit photo of a friend right and the other thing that you like doing is you are

absolutely no fucking help in a situation with a member of the public right because as you know at the comedy club a woman came up and asked for a photo, as had happened quite a bit. Some people were drinking and they're getting quite aggy in their demands for photos, right? There was actually a level of aggression with certain people. There was, mate, 100%. Well, I did protect you with one of those people. Yeah.

But a woman came up and asked for a photo of her mate. She brought her mate backstage into the green room for some reason. She just wandered in with her mate and said can we get a photo then she said to me can you do something funny right which is which is an insane request right for somebody to do something funny in a photo I'm doing the photo and I just said it's a still image I don't really know what I'm supposed to do to do something funny. And then rather than going, yeah, let's just, you know, get the photo done.

What you did is turned on me. I thought, well, I feel like it's a very disappointing attitude actually, mate. What are you trying to do? Have you seen the photos? No.

No, I am trying to do funny stuff in the pictures. You're, you're just, you've got the same face for all of them. Why are you trying to do funny stuff? Because that's what you requested. We're not,

we're not fucking photo jukebox. All right. No, but I wanted, I wanted her to go away and go, that was a right laugh for those two. A hundred percent. I guarantee she went like Tom,

Rom, I take or leave. I almost certainly. I actually genuinely thought of all the times in the pictures that you were going to bring up was going to be the guy at the airport. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. I cannot believe I forgot about this.

This is... That is... So we're at the airport, and we're walking through Duty Free, and a man comes up, and he says, can I please get a man comes up and he says, can I please get a photo? And then Tom says, I'll take the photo for you.

And Tom goes, it's incredible that you did this. Not even on a funny level. It's just so out of order. You went, let's do a video. Do something funny. Do one of your catchphrases. Do one of your catchphrases for the video. And what was so bad about it is the man I was with was so much more awkward than I was.

I mean, I was awkward. I think I said, welcome to League of Their Own. You did as your catchphrase. My thinking is this, right? He was a big fan of yours, right? A video of the two of you having a right laugh together in like Duty Free by Tom Ford he could look back on because I was actually

thinking of the night before where you struggled to be funny in the picture right I was like Tom let me just clear something up you weren't funny in the picture either

mate go back and look at the pictures I'm doing a bit of this bit of that oh I'll tell you what I'll do I'm going to put a collage of the pictures up like when this podcast

comes out okay right I'll probably delete the woman's or send over the woman's face to sort of yeah I'm going to put a collage of the pictures up when this podcast comes out. Okay. I'll probably delete the woman's or send over the woman's face to sort of... Yeah. Or I think more likely

we'll never see their photo. But they are genuinely... I think I'm being quite funny in them. What are you doing? This one where you try to smile. Yeah. I'm just doing wacky stuff. Like what?

I'm using my... But then I was like, look, this guy's a massive Romesh fan. Right? He will be disappointed when he looks back at just a picture of him and Romesh. No, he will not. A photo's fine. He doesn't have to do a video.

Wait, he's got now a minute of him and his favourite comedian larking about in Duty Free together, right? It's a really sweet thing. So whenever he feels a bit sad, he'll go... Tom, Tom, Tom. It was 7 o'clock in the morning. Right? It's a really sweet thing. So whenever he feels a bit sad, he'll go... Tom, Tom, Tom. It was 7 o'clock in the morning. All right?

You and I... I'd been out until 2 o'clock in the morning for my brother's birthday. Pick up at 5. And then I'm at an airport at 7 and you asked me to do a fucking video for this. I didn't ask you. I did the video and then told you. No, yeah, sorry.

That's sorry. That implies that you were nicer than you were. You, without consent, started running a video. No, but in my head, I'm like,

actually, this guy is, he was so excited to see you. He was trembling, right? I thought, number one, he's got to be careful.

He works here. Everything around him in Duty Free is made of glass. So, yeah, fine. But what I would say is on the next day, not the next day, later on that same day, because we did have a 19 hour day that day on the way back we're at the pub in the airport

and a guy came up absolutely battered and was quite i would say uh invasive of your aggressive and he was yeah yeah of your personal space what would tom davis have done if i'd have been in the situation i know what you would have done. You would have gone, oh, it seems like you two are getting on. Let's get a video. What did I do? Supportive. Took the photo with the geezer.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's how friends operate. Yeah. You're a miss now because you're not mentioning that big teenage kid that you were terrified of from the gig with the hoodie. I wasn't terrified. He kept coming in and he said he said i i want a photo so i can piss off my nan yeah no it keeps on saying i don't want to be that guy yeah so he said i don't want to be that guy said it about 20 times he said i don't want to be that guy but i want a photo of you romesh to

piss off my nan right i said okay and then he held his phone up and he's on Instagram right so I said let me do it and I'll get a selfie and then I got it off he had it on story or something I can't remember what he had it on or video or something so I went to change it and he just went whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what are you doing going through my phone I was like mate is your only contact with your nan that she follows you on Instagram because otherwise I don't understand what's going on here anyway he did he did that another six times, right, with different things. And admittedly, you did say to him, mate, you're doing a lot of trying to piss people off

by having photos of Romesh in you. But you don't know what he did when you're on stage. What did he do? Oh, actually, were you there when he came into the tent? I was there. I told him, I said, look, go away. Yeah. But do you know what he asked my brother?

What? Bearing in mind, he's just seen Stephen Grant host the gig. One of the greatest con bears in the country. Yeah. Angela Barnes, right. TV comic,

Scott Bennett. Yeah. TV comic. Yeah. Right. Tom Davis, comedy legend. Right.

He asked if we were taking applications to go on stage. Like it's a fucking karaoke bar he was a helmet wasn't he yeah and you know what's sad is that his family were lovely yeah I mean look

I'm going to give weird aggression as well he had cocksure he was cocksure he had his hood up the whole time. Yeah. He had his hands in, like, the sort of pockets of his hoodie.

Mm. Unless he was sore. He got arsey with me. He got aggy with me. He was going at me, you just mugged me off there and stuff like that. And then when I walked, like, and then I was getting, like, done, I was getting, like, arse for photos, which is fine. Like, most of the people were, like, really polite.

So I was doing photos. And then I wandered over to the tent, the performer's performance tent and he just walked in yeah it's mad i mean i'm assuming i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt i think he was pissed yeah so you know you can't you can't hold him accountable for all of the decisions he was making but it was crazy man it was crazy but anyway the other post i would look it doesn't matter the problem the thing is i had such a great time with you and, I had such a great time with you, and then I had such a great time with my brother, I started feeling, you know when you start getting a bit sort of emotional,

do you know what I mean? It's like, oh, man, I've had a great time with my mate, I've had a great time with my brother, and then I posted up on, it's my brother's birthday yesterday. So I did a post about going, it's really unlike me to post something like this happy birthday to a man who's consistently shown himself to be the most wonderful brother

anyone could ask for actually a couple of mates went are you alright because it was just like such a do you think you're turning a corner where you're becoming like quite like the sweetness sort of you've become a bit more sugary than maybe

I don't think I've become more sugary I don't think I've become more sugary not I hope not you are that person let's be yeah

you have got the sweetest of souls like you are like you've got that lovely way about you and it's like oh yeah you said that you said that to the

to the people at the Gaelic football didn't you you said oh just so you know he's going to come across terribly initially but he's one of the sweetest souls you can imagine but he takes takes him a while to get started you'll probably you probably won't like him for a bit but then by the end of the day you'll all be singing his praises a horrible horrible thing to say sometimes I feel like I'm like sort of like no because you you you one of the things I've

learned about you or I know about you is you just, you constantly work in the room all the time, constantly working there. You like, it's like, I wonder what it's like for Catherine, you know, like when,

when women talk about their husbands that are utterly fucking miserable, then as soon as they get into a public situation, if I can turn it on, that's what you were like. You were like, I absolutely fucked on the plane, right? Battered.

I just thought, fuck, you know, I'm going to get through this. As soon as you get like. You were like absolutely fucked on the plane. Right, battered. Right, just like, fuck, you know, how am I going to get through this? As soon as you get in a taxi, hello, mate. How's it going? Great to be in Ireland. The air's different here, isn't it? You just feel a different vibe. I love the Irish. Absolutely love the Irish. I don't know what's up with Romesh. Stupid, miserable bastard. Oh, beautiful. Every time we turn into a new

road, it's like a new adventure. Oh, my God. Jesus, my God. Jesus. Shut up. Feet up on the fucking seats. What's better than getting a small premium roast coffee and your favourite McMuffin? Getting a small premium roast coffee and your favourite McMuffin

for only $4 plus tax for a limited time only at McDonald's. Exclude Egg BLT McMuffin at participating McDonald's in Canada prices exclude delivery. My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other.

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Oh, mate, speaking of which. Yeah. I don't think you deserve this. A lot of people, those crocs, those Adidas crocs, or whatever you call them, very divisive, aren't they? Yeah. But that's the thing about...

High-end fashion? Yeah, that's the thing. You've got the guts to fucking fly out and do some shit like that and roll that sort of way. What was there quite a lot of abuse given? Well, not abuse, just people going, what the fuck are they? I normally like that type of shoe but what the fuck is he wearing um but i'm going to tell you this i like i just think divisive shoes are great i think divisive clothes are great

yes you know like because the the fear of being divisive is what makes everyone dressed the same yeah do you mean so i like you know who i've read who i really i've given so much away of myself do you know who i've i've realized might be one of my sartorial kind of heroes one of my fashion heroes andre three andre 3000 from outcast like i just think that geezer doesn't give a shit he doesn't give a shit and i love that i really thought you were going to say arch from tally why do you think i was going to say Arj from Tally? Because he put a post up the other day and he feels really confident about himself

so he started wearing really brightly coloured stuff and he's been a bit more out there with his fashion choices so when you said who you look up to and who's your hero in a weird way I thought oh maybe he's not a post from Arj Okay I'm going to take that comment in the spirit in which it was intended

and that is uh and then we're going to should we get into some emails let's do it brother okay uh this is from oh by the way can i just say one thing are you i'm in absolute agony from that fucking illegal thing hugely embarrassing that um basically a day's i couldn't even call it a day's activity we played a bit of gaelic football but it was very do a bit here do a bit there mate you know the moment when i realized like how embarrassing you are as sports people right how absolutely right is we had to play gaelic football i can't bet against a bunch of boys who are from the age of I think, what, 15 to about 18 max,

right? Who were significantly fitter and stronger than me and Romesh, right? They were battering us. And the director had to come in

and say, can you just let Tom or Romesh just get a little pass or a little touch of the ball at some point? And it was just

the most indignifying, like they were so fucking quick and so fair. I'll tell you, there's a couple of things that are indignifying. You injuring your knee in a celebration. Yeah. You and I limping off the field after spending, I would say, I reckon maybe an hour doing physical exercise, if that. You know what I mean?

You know that injury? Yeah. I can't fathom how people celebrate goals. You know when they slide on their knees? I went to celebrate, and it wasn't even a big celebration. I buckled my knee. I did physio treatment on a celebration.

You collapsed to the ground in front of a bunch of 15-year-olds. People were all laughing, running for their phones to fucking Snapchat it. Yeah, it was bad. Like a fucking beach whale. Before we get into the emails, by the nobody and i mean nobody is having your ass pebble mate absolutely in fact i'm having a lot of people suggesting that i got mugged off because you just made it up

and there's absolutely no way i've not made it up it's a thing i mean katherine's actually genuinely furious with me that i what for talking about it on the podcast? Yeah. She's like, do you know, it's disgusting. People who've come to eat at our house are checking that we haven't had anything from the freezer, right? You have to show people.

Tom, it is disgusting that you've got an ass pebble in a freezer. It's in the outside freezer. On its own shelf. What else do you keep in the outside freezer? Food. Yeah, food. I don't want to eat food at your house it's been

the same refrigeration chamber as a fucking ass pebble wait let me just tell you and clarify the air circulate this air that's making contact with your air ass pub pebble and making contact with whatever has been bleached and sanitized, that you could eat your dinner off that arse pebble. Well, I am, practically, if I come round to your house.

Right. I've had a few squaddies who got in touch and they've heard of this vibe, okay? Okay. So shout out

my brethren, the arse pebble, the few of us. When do they use it? When they're out on service? So they're not putting it in their freezer,

I take it? Well, no, you'd be able to put it in somewhere cold, otherwise you'd put a pebble up your butt. Yeah, sure yeah yeah sure and also if let me just say if you're using a pebble in a hot country and you're just picking it up it's going to be even worse isn't it you know yourself and even

more yeah it's got to be cut let me just say this it's got to be cold and also i don't want to get in any you've really i can't say this firmly enough. It's just there, just to almost just touch the top of... Not even the top of your ring, right? It's just there to add a little coolness. I've heard quite a few people saying, asking how it works, logistically. How it works?

Yeah, like how deep they go and stuff. So hold on, people are trying. I'd say it's in the top three things since we've done this podcast that people have reached out. A lot of people seem to have made their way to Brighton or another pebbly beach and gone to find those pebbles. I've had a lot of people sending pictures of their new pebbles,

which I found amazing. I can't help but think of all of you just sort of smiling after a hot curry. Yeah, thank God. It's not the putting it in that I think is the issue. just sort of like smiling after a hot curry and yeah yeah thank god it's not the putting it in that I think is is the issue it's the taking it out once it's been sort of warmed by your arse cheeks that sort of removal

and then what you have to do with it just that sort of shameful scrub of the pebble that you had up your arse I can't even this is the thing right this is the thing this is this is the guy who wears Crocs and you know this is me right I fucking I don't look at that shame when i take it out i look at the little fellow and i'm like thank you and god bless you and then i give it a good scrub you know i bleach it why is that better than an ice cube sat on a towel i don't know i think an ice cube just goes all wet and horrible

and then you just got wet and then yeah but then it disappears but then the towel's got a wet old arse. Yeah, but then it disappears. But then the towel's got shit all over it. And let me tell you, it's harder to get shit out of fabric than stone. And you can quote me on that. Yeah, you're making some good points. I still... There's something my head can't get round about keeping a pebble

that you put in your arse alongside food. I just can't... I can't tell you sneakily enough. Sanitiser's a pebble, right? Yeah, I get it. I get it. But also put it in a Ziploc bag. grass alongside food i just can't i can't i can't tell you steeply enough sanitizers purple right yeah i get it i get it i get it but also put it in a ziploc bag the ziploc bag right you could put an actual shit in the freezer in a ziploc bag well people do don't know people yeah yeah we can't say for like certain reasons we both know we're talking about here right but people do that right

honestly this could be the thing one thing if you like spicy food that can that could make your the day after that a little bit better okay uh well first of all apologies to uh he's been waiting for his email to be read out this whole time uh firstly a friend recommending your podcast is now essential listening when i go for a run it's only through the podcast i found king gary and avoidance which are both great i've never written or emailed into anything and rather remain anonymous. If I'm going to pick an animal,

I'm going to go for a hippo. Episode, oh shit, I've just given his name. James, you can bleep that out. Can't you bleep that out? Episode five of Avoidance resonated with me.

On the same day of watching it, I read an article about middle-aged men having no friends. Episode five of Avoidance is about him struggling to have, like just realising he's not got a lot of mates.

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I had a great social life, life both my wife and with my own friends after a couple of kids and work i found myself in my 40s with my wife in a huge social network and me with a dwindling number of friends to socialize with i found myself sitting on the sofa not having that friend's text about whatever that i used to have over the years i noticed my wife has put more effort in regularly saying i've got to do lunch with so-and-so i haven't seen her for a while at the same time I've let friends that I've been through a lot with go by the wayside and I've not made any effort. Not sure why I'm so apathetic about maintaining relationships, but I think it's a real issue to a lot of men

who are too ashamed to admit it. I'm certainly too embarrassed to talk to someone about it. Forgot to say I'm really happy with my wife. My wife and children are amazing. I've started to make contact and do more with my remaining friends. This has helped. Previously, I felt lonely and been really missing the company of other guys. Hopefully, the wolf and I discuss it.

Maybe we'll go some way to making it something we're allowed to talk about that feeling like a total loser god bless ps thanks to the swan if she has to edit my poor grammar uh tommy d yeah i actually completely empathize and i feel this quite a lot myself actually i think um certainly with katherine i think katherine's yeah since uh grace was born like there's been a she's really gone out and met other mothers. She's joined groups. So she's got existing friends, but then her friendship group has grown because she's, you know, gone out and she's, you know, met people.

I think for me, I don't know. Yeah, I actually genuinely had this thought the other day of like, I probably maybe have three, four people, one of which included that i text like and i'd feel confident with text back and i sort of sometimes yeah i think there's a prior thing of as a man if you text someone once or twice and they've not you know check in and see how they are and they've got text back you think well i probably won't do that again but they've yeah it feels you feel quite vulnerable you feel quite naked if someone doesn't text you back

and there could be many reasons why that person's in that situation also I think like as men and it's changing I think but I think we probably all went through our 20s and most of our 30s never ever really I can think of like

such a big number of guys that I've known from my mid to late teens that I'm sort of friends with all through to my mid thirties who I call friends. But then I think I never, ever had a conversation. It was anything that ever scratched the surface. They ever felt that it was anything,

but you know, football or piss taking, or, you know, we, we never, I never really got into it with them. You know,

I never, ever discussed how I really felt. And now I look at, you know, my at my wife's friends and they've all been there for each other. Most of the ones that are still there now and even new friends, they chat about that stuff. Now where you'll go out with husbands of the wives

that you'll meet and stuff, there's always a sort of layer of bullshit that you've got to go through before you can actually sort of open up and say you are and i think that most women i'm not generalizing because i'll be unfair but most women are sort of more confident in their in themselves to sort of like open up a little bit more i guess and and sort of especially i think with with parenthood like i think since we've talked about here me and romesh i've had so many people reach out about, from last week and talk about,

you know, anxiety and being a new father and stuff. But a lot of them say the same thing there. It's like, it feels like a sort of social thing that we're a little bit worried to get out and talk about. I do genuinely think one thing though, I think that my mum always says, you have friends for a reason and friends for a season and friends forever.

And it's a true thing that you're going to have. I look back now and think there's been friends that I have such fond memories of and they were just a time in my life when I needed that sort of person. And they were incredible. Or friends you made on holiday

and you had the best blast or whatever. But then I have friends, and that, you know, Robert's including this, that three or four that I feel like have got my back and I can reach out whenever I actually need them. They're the ones where I think, have friends and that you know rubbish including this that three or four that i feel like i've got my back and i can reach out whenever i actually need them they're the ones where i think no you know what i i wouldn't swap those four or five for all the others that i've known all those

all those years that i didn't have that connection with so i think yeah it's it's just we grow don't we and and yeah sometimes the limbs of our tree fall short, but the branches that stay are the stronger ones. Oh, my God. Did you just make that up? Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ, that was beautiful. Listen, man, I find friendship a difficult thing.

I feel like, and i don't know if this because i've got older or the nature of men has changed a little bit but when i was younger your friends just used to rip the shit out of you all the time yeah that was that was kind of you basically go to a roast battle like every time you go out of your friends and that is fun but um as you get older you sort of get we still do that i mean all my friends rip the shit i mean tom was there and met all my like sort of get, we still do that. I mean, all my friends are at the show. I mean, Tom was there and met all my, like, sort of childhood friends that I still hang about with, and they all take the piss, do you know what I mean?

And that is part of it. But there are also people that you could go to. One of the things that I have a problem with, and I've talked about it a lot, and there's things in avoidance that sort of relate to this and are based on this, is that I don't, i wouldn't call it social anxiety because i don't think i'm socially anxious but i i don't like the idea of going out i like the idea of going out until it comes close and then i start thinking i don't want to go out

anymore like like i flake really bad then it's a really bad thing to to do it's not fair on the people you're doing it to but i do do it where i just in the moment think i don't think i'm up to going out i just don't think i'm up to going out and meeting up with people do you mean and that happens a fair bit and i don't know if that's happened to you but you can get to a point where you you sort of don't you don't make the effort or you just sort of you you allow things to slide or whatever. But I do think if you do find people that you really get on with and that you're really close with, it is worth clinging onto those people and it is worth making the effort.

And whenever I've thought that I don't want to go and meet up with somebody or I can't be asked to have it and I've gone ahead and done it, I've never regretted it. I've always thought this, I've sometimes regretted how large a night has got as you know, party rom comes out and it starts getting a bit cray cray, but I've never regretted it, really. I've always thought this is great. I've sometimes regretted how large a night has got, as, you know, Party Rom comes out and it starts getting a bit cray-cray. But I've never, you know, talking to people is great, man. You just feel more connected with the world in a way that you can't get with social media.

You, like, you just, you know, just chatting shit about whatever. It's great. It's good for the soul, you know. And so I guess, you know, I'm sort of in a long-winded waffly way i'm sort of telling you to a lot of people feel like this you reach out to a friend and go wouldn't be good if we hooked up and they'll go yeah they'd love that and and you know these things are easily rectified so it just takes a bit of effort and you get yourself into a point where you know it might be even you formalize it where you go once a month we're going to go out like let's do it

let's put a group together that once a month we're not going to go out for a meal or to the pub or whatever and take it from there and i do think you'll see your quality of life improve i really do i do think it'll make a difference so um and i think it's easily fixed i think based on what you've said so um so look good luck with the hippo good luck man good luck with it. Good luck, man. Good luck, Hippo. Dear Wolf, Al and Swan. Love the podcast. Thanks for everything you do. We'd love to hear your thoughts on a problem I have at the moment.

My girlfriend of nearly three years just made it clear to me that she wants to be single at some point during university. She's done one year of uni. I've done two. I don't feel the same way, but I don't think there's anything

I can do to change her mind. I feel like what we have together is special and I know she feels that way too. What's the point of sticking together if I know at some point she wants a break from being in a relationship? Any advice you have would be welcome. From the Rockhopper Penguin. Wow, the Rockhopper Penguin.

Man, why would you ever want to be with anything but a Rockhopper Penguin? Shout out to the Rockhopper Penguin. This is a very difficult one, isn't it? Very tricky, tricky situation. But I would say this. I think if that's what she wants,

then I think you kind of got to let her go and find her way there. I think you have to have enough faith in what you've built together to be a thing that will be maintained no matter where she goes and what she does. And that will be a thing that you know that will be maintained no matter what wherever she goes and what she does and that'll be really hard for you that's gonna be really it's gonna be a difficult thing my bro but the worst thing you can try and do is be in any kind of relationship

with anyone where they don't they're not 100% given into into the relationship and they've got any idea of having that sort of spell of being single, that spell of sort of breaking away. Because what will happen is it might, you know, you might be able to say, all right, you know, I don't think we should do that. I think we should stick together. You know, you could be 10 years down the line,

but there'll be something there that will always be there and the fact that she might want to break away and she might want that break. And she'd go, and it's better to do that at the young age you're at, when you're at university, rather than do it further down the line. And if it's right, and if she does that and she comes back and says, you know what, I didn't have any, you know, I miss you. It was a stupid idea. And, you know, then that's great.

But if she goes back and if she does that and then says, actually, yeah, it wasn't, I prefer being single. Yeah,

it just wasn't meant to be. And right now in your life, it's really difficult because me and Romesh can be reflective of 40-something guys who've been through that situation. And at that age

it can feel like everything it can feel like you know it'll rip out your heart and kick you in the stomach and it will be the making of you

because every notch along the way is growth and yeah you'll find out a lot about yourself in that scenario as well

so whilst it's a very difficult scenario you find yourself in that scenario as well. So whilst it's a very difficult scenario you find yourself in, do the right thing, be you, be strong, but also be vulnerable and reach out to your friends. As we were just saying now, it's a difficult one, brother, and my love goes out to you. Lovely, lovely advice, as always, from tom davis the wolf an extraordinary piece

of advice so thank you um i slightly i'm slightly not on the same page as you as this i i think and i'm slightly i'm going to be honest my take on this is slightly marred by the fact that i went to university in a relationship and it was an absolute fucking disaster to be honest with you it's like we never should have stayed in a relationship when you go to university in a relationship and it was an absolute fucking disaster, to be honest with you. It's like we never should have stayed in a relationship. When you go to university, you're meeting loads of new people. You change as a person during those years. I think that age is some of the most formative years of your life in terms of what you become as an adult.

And I think it's very difficult for you to be the same person. It's very unlikely you're going to be the same person when you start university as you are when you leave university. And it went really badly for me. And in hindsight, I've got to be the same person when you start university as you are when you leave university and it went really badly for me and in hindsight i've got to be honest with you i i sort of wish we we just made the decision to everybody i know told me you got you got a breakup man like this is mad that you're going to go to university in a relationship but you just caught up in the moment and you think no this would be fine this would be fine and it wasn't fine it was a fucking nightmare and um so look but that's one example.

That's not a sample. I mean, that's just one story. But I do know loads of people that went to university with their other half. Or not necessarily went to the same university, but went to university in relationships and it didn't go well. My honest feeling is that, and you're not going to want to hear this, but if your girlfriend is making it clear that she wants to be single at some point during university she probably wants

to be single now and she's just trying to figure out a way of saying that to you I feel like she's done one year of uni it's possible and I might be wrong that she's enjoyed that you know been hanging out with people and just thought I don't want to be tied down how do I tell my boyfriend this because like what do you mean you're going to be single at some point during university i don't sort of understand that what you're going to have a deadline at which point you're going to go cool tomorrow night i'm officially on the market like it doesn't sort of doesn't make sense to me so look as hard as it is if somebody doesn't want to be with you no matter how much you feel about them or how strong your feelings are for them you have to let them go you have to i mean you know obviously it's like there's you

have no choice but what i mean is mentally you have to go if this person doesn't want to be with me then i i have to accept that and i have to give myself the respect of not trying to cling on to this i mean yeah the truth is you are you're worth more than being with somebody that doesn't want to be with you you know so i think you you let that happen or you split up now and it might be that in a year's time she's like or however long she's like fuck what have i done and then you can make a decision about whether you want to get back together or not but But my feeling is that she's sort of enjoying university life and feeling like she doesn't want to be in a relationship and maybe that's just how it's got to go, man.

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Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. Or is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. And teaming up. Or face extinction.

Godzilla Kong. The new empire. Now playing only in theaters. And like, when I was with, just so you know, I'm not just saying this out of like a fucking fierce bitterness. My girlfriend and I, we ended up going to the same uni. And it just wasn't good man like you're you're you're tied to each other in a way that prohibits you from fully immersing yourself in university life and like and I'm not talking about sex I'm not talking about going on the pool I'm just

talking about just being free we're always having to do stuff together and then there were issues where I was going out and she wasn't and then she'd be like well I'm just here at home like you know I'm just here I've got nothing on Imy and blah blah all that shit you know it's tricky so um look man it's not a one-size-fits-all thing for that but i suspect that you need to just let this go and see what happens as difficult as that may be yo rock hopper sending you love my g sending you so much love my g do we have time for one more do you think let's do it yeah quick one more maybe baby actually okay let's finish with this because this is super quick um and it's basically a bit of validation for you yeah so i like to give you a bit of validation uh when you deserve it dear wolf

owl cat and the delightful swan my email is a fairly light-hearted one in the fact that I was working at a wedding yesterday and saw a three-tiered pork pie wedding cake. Wow. Oh, by the way, off the back of that, this is what the validation is. You know you talked about, and I've had loads of emails about this, fake wedding cakes are a thing. Oh, okay. I'm sorry for doubting you.

They are a thing where you have sorry for doubting you. Uh, they are a thing where you have a wedding cake and most of it is like polystyrene or something like that. And they've just got a section of it. That's actually cake. And that's the thing. Incredible. You reinvented it. So congratulations.

I sort of feel like I'm starting to, as every episode goes on, start to feel like I may be doing a podcast with a genius you know as it as it goes on keep that as a quote for about three years time okay if you think we're going to be doing this podcast in three years time you're fucking dreaming and they're going to say there's a good continuation of your discussion about mock wedding cakes it was three flavors in the three-tiered pork pie wedding cake chili mustard and pickled egg oh wow anyway it was a good day andtiered pork pie wedding cake. Chilli, mustard and pickled egg. Oh, wow.

Anyway, it was a good day and a nice pork pie from the delirious duck. What's your take on a pork pie wedding cake? Man, I just wish I was at that wedding. That's an incredible piece of work. What a beautiful, beautiful idea. I mean, I hope that there was something for our vegan friends. Like, I don't know, like a cauliflower pie or something. I don't know, I don't say that when he when he's like because i actually genuinely had a cauliflower and

no it's just it's just it's just it's just a classic fucking maneuver for somebody who eats meat and putting a little dig and i hope they did something for you like i don't know like a glazed carrot or something like that that's's what that was. No, it wasn't. I had an incredible cauliflower pie the other day. And when I was eating it, I thought of you. Cauliflower is a wonderful vegetable. I resent how much they charge for cauliflower steaks, if I'm being honest.

I don't understand why I have to pay the same as I would have to pay for a fucking meat steak, for a cauliflower steak. But I've never eaten cauliflower and thought this could do with being in a pie you're joking though talk me through it mate it was it was really beautifully cooked it was really really tender where'd you get it from uh there's a place near me that's uh basically called pasty and pie shop same place i've got the rhubarb and custard pasty from uh speaking of which coughlin's bakery have done us a rhubarb apple and custard

pasty when is it available well i've got to speak to them about it but what i can tell you is um i've tried it is it nice sean coughlin was kind enough to deliver it to my house he delivered a few of them and absolutely delightful. Absolutely delightful. We are talking now about putting them on the shelves at Coughlin's, and all profits from the pasties are going to go to CALM, the mental health charity. So look out for that. We'll do an announcement.

But it's a great pasty. It is a great pasty. Sweet and delicious? Sweet and delicious. And the rhubarb gives it just a bit of tart, just to undercut what's going on there. Just beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. What a beautiful thing. and delicious and the rhubarb gives it just a bit of tart yeah just to undercut what's going on there just beautiful absolutely beautiful beautiful thing

right Tom it's about that time my G yo take us out an old father lion sat with his cub the cub smiled at him as the father lion

looked upon their kingdom he let out a massive roar and the whole of the kingdom around them in the mountains shook. He said, you old boy, one day this should all be yours. The little lion looked up and said, father, I don't know how to run a kingdom. The old father lion got a little dewy eyed. He said, son, you'll go through a few stages in your life in your teenage years you'll be selfish it'll be about you you'll be trying to build a life for yourself and it'll

all be about you you you but then once your later years start dawning on you and we see a bit of silver coming into that gold mane you'll become more entitled to lean towards your family looking after loved ones and those around you and then when old age appears upon your porch you shall find a time when you will reach out to your wider community everyone here in the kingdom the jungle up into the mountains and all around. Life, you see, is a circle, my friend. It keeps on going round and round. The main thing you can do is jump on the ride and hope that at the end of it,

you've found a way for people to remember you in the most decent and powerful of sentiments. The little cub looks up and says, Father, I'm scared, for at the moment I cannot roar. All I can do is squeak. And the old lion looks down and smiles, and he said,

In that squeak is the roar that will make you king. Lovely. Really nice. For everyone out there. Really, yeah. Yeah. Life is a progression, yeah.

Really well nuanced, like Lord of the Rings and also like Lord of the Rings, had about seven endings. So really good. Really good. It's a bit, a little bit too much like Lion King,

so I just tried to change it. A little bit like Lion King at the beginning there and at the end and for some parts of the middle. Now, just before we sign off, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I want to shout out Ben, who emailed in and said,

the album mentioned he's into reggae and wants to know more songs. And he's actually requested a song that I've heard, but I'd love to play us out on. But I would like to take this opportunity to ask people to send in suggestions for songs to play us out on. Something that makes you feel good, something to set you off on the day.

We'd love your suggestions, and we'll play them at the end of the podcast i've just thought of this item what do you think of it as a thing i'm sure we're breaching a number of copyright rules but that's not my problem i think we can only play like a little bit but anyway the song you suggested is wings in the morning by capleton and method man which is a fucking banger uh so jt can you put that on and we're signing off i'm the people he is the wolf take care of yourselves love you guys peace If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content

ideas. Thank you.