Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 20: Egg Addictions & Suspect Straddling

Episode Date: November 16, 2022

We’re talking… helping out at hotels, heavy egg consumption, being drunk on podcasts, Tom’s mighty press-up challenge, a bit of sports massage advice and a highly controversial straddling incident. Plus, we answer emails about weird dreams, a neighbour’s builders and adjusting to returning home after a year away travelling. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest Ham Sub made with our new Fresh Sliced Deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest Ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We're talking friggin' fresh slicing and I'm yelling yes way! Get a 6-inch Black Forest Ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th.

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack

at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or or fur sharp teeth or feet with claws whatever's preferred they'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves then podcast the body parts get severed and served bring your weak shit wear the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing

They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff of puff And a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song Is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog

dog dog dog bull bull bull bull bull time for the wolf and owl wolf and owl inside the building wolf and owl

go and run tell your children wolf and owl inside the place oh my gosh Tom you look fucking delightful

mate look at this are you hotelling still boy yeah I'm hotelling I'm in Glasgow doing weakest link and I've had a little insight this week into what this and are you a hotel in still boy yeah i'm hoteling i'm in glasgow doing weakest link and uh

i've had a little insight this week into what uh my life would be like if i lived on my own and the answer is absolutely fucking disgusting i mean really mate like i've basically had to put don't come in on the hotel room door because i'm so ashamed of what they're going to come in and find it's just like i just got shit everywhere man mate i've been living in a hotel for a month now like i've been i've been in a hotel you're with your you're with you're with catherine though right i'm with catherine and grace which is kind of cool saturday i had that i had an insight into saturday what my life would be like without catherine if i was just having grace at the weekends yeah like catherine went for a spa day.

It was like she had a nice, I say spa day, she went for an afternoon at the spa. Oh, man. Correcting your words in case she listens there, right? She does listen, yes. I have to be very careful. I don't have to worry about that. I made Grace her lunch and then took Grace downstairs

to the sports bar in our hotel to watch Man City versus Brentford. And then just sort of, yeah, I just got a little glimpse of like, oh, is this the kind of single dad I'd be? I'm just sort of sitting here having a couple of beers with my little tiny gorgeous daughter who's, yeah, the waitresses are coming over and sort of giving a cuddle too. I just felt, oh, actually, yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe I need to have a word with myself. It's a mad thing being at a hotel this long. I'm in a place now where it's...

I've started telling people who are just arriving what days are what for the themed buffet. Oh, my God. And what do you mean you're telling people who are arriving? So where are you positioning yourself to do this? I'm not at the front desk. I'm not at the front desk when people arrive going, oh, hi there, Tuesday.

Oh, it's Tuesday, so it's Lebanese Day. You really, really want to be trying those dishes. And if I could tempt you, on Friday is a Chinese dim sum day. That's, like, here, every day is a different cuisine. Is it really? Yeah. Are you still hitting up the pancake station? Yeah, yeah. him someday that's like here every day is a different cuisine is it really yeah is that are you still hitting up are you still hitting up the pancake station yeah yeah you know what i and

the pancake woman is she's just she's taking it up another level i had a bit of an argument at the omelette station the other day though okay go on what happened a german guy a german guy was in front of me in the queue and he he just said, two fried eggs. And the woman, she put his two fried eggs. And then when they were ready, he just put his plate out. She put them on the plate, and he just sort of sniffed and started walking off. And I said, oh, don't they say please and thank you where you come from?

You said that? Yeah, yeah. And he said, pardon? I said, like, the ladies cook you eggs. You don't say please or thank you? And he said, because that is her job is to cook and i said yeah but what about manners and then he just sort of looked at her and looked at me and just sort of shook his head and walked off and i was just like oh man how do you how would you give yourself out of 10 what would you mark yourself on the way you handle

that interaction it just you know what it really annoyed because look i've been here for a month i essentially work with this woman now. She's seen more of my daughter than any of my family or friends have in the last few weeks. So I chat to her. Do you think that's a wise thing to be taking your daughter up to the station there to normalise that kind of consumption? I mean, her earliest memories are going to be of her father consuming, what, 30 to 35 eggs every morning.

Do you know the saddest thing is, when we did the last podcast and we talked about how much egg I was eating, I've not been, I'm worried, I'm not even being, and also, you know egg yolks have got cholesterol in them? Yes, Tom. That is why I spoke to you about the eggs last time. Yeah, yeah, but this is the problem. I think I'm addicted to eggs, right? Because I'm literally, so every morning I'm having an omelette and probably a pancake or two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to the conversation we had last time.

And by the way, the last time I criticised your egg consumption, I don't think you even mentioned the fucking omelette station. Well, the omelette, look, the trouble is over here right is i'm trying at the moment i'm navigating a world where i need to wean myself off of i'm not in i'm not because i'm not on holiday i'm essentially living out here right until you know for the foreseeable future i mean i'm essentially the foreseeable future well no that's not talking i'm gonna be out here in six months although although I wouldn't mind that. I'm out here for a little while, so I need to stop thinking like... Like Catherine said, you should treat the crepes and the pancakes

like they're a treat, not like they're a daily... I would say that's solid advice. Yeah, it's not that they can be a daily thing that you... Speaking of solid, what are your shits like at the moment, consuming that number of eggs? Well, i'm also eating a lot of fruit do you know by the way that i have never ever ever given kiwi fruit the the sort of the i've never put it up in the pedal store it deserves the credit it deserves yeah oh mate the beautiful the juiciness of a good kiwi fruit and all the fruit out here actually i've got to say i've been eating bananas my whole life right the bananas out here are just incredible have you done are you doing any are you

doing any coke out there just unrelated question it's just that we've been talking for five and a half minutes you've covered 12 different topics i'm not doing any cocaine although a night with party rom out in grand canary would be absolutely insane. Mate, we should have sorted that out. We should have sorted that out for, like, I'll come out for the wrap. Do you know what I mean? Just, no, I think flying you out for a night in Maspalomas. One night in Maspalomas with Party Rom.

I think Party Rom, do you know, I'm actually, there's an argument to be said. Look, Christmas is, my daughter's first Christmas. I'm very very excited by that arguably i'm as excited about the 16th the big drunk episode our christmas party the wolf and our christmas let's not let's not look we are doing a drunk episode but i have i've had issues with drunk recordings in the past you know know, like two occasions in the springtime, I did Drunk History. And Lisa was pregnant with Theo at the time.

Yeah. And the way Drunk History works is that you have to have like someone with you to sort of make sure you're all right. So I took a mate, Max Davis, and i went to the thing and i got absolutely like somebody said to me on drunk history you've got like do get drunk because i think some people without naming any names there are some people that have had a couple of bevvies and they just sort of turn it on for the cameras right whereas i just somebody says we don't do that and the american one they don't do that so i just thought i'm going to get absolutely so they take

you to a pub and they ask what your favorite drinks are they just keep plying you with these drinks and then when they just keep asking you questions then when you get to a point where they think you're battered they'll take you to where you've got to record did you preempt any of the story by the way that you were telling or did you have any jokes in your head no no just turn it no no no well no, no. Well, I should have done. No, no, no, no. I think you should have. I didn't either.

What stories did you do? What stories did you do? Uncovering Tutankhamen's tomb. Oh, nice. And then it was something about some William the Conqueror's brother exploding on a horse maybe or something. Oh, wow, fucking hell.

He died and then all this shit swelled up in his stomach or whatever. It was a long time ago. Anyway, I got, like, got like fucked like really drunk and i kept drinking throughout the thing and i hadn't planned it at all and then i left went into a car and i literally you know when you have that drunk where like i got into the car and i felt like i blinked and we're at my house all right like a proper it was just like instant journey that is the best drive home in the world oh my god unreal right so i walk into the house lisa's upstairs sort of dealing with uh the late stages of pregnancy i walk into the living room and i go to switch on the tv i think i want

like something to eat and watch something on tv for a bit. I couldn't even face going upstairs at that point. So I think I get some toast or something like that, switch the TV on, and I'm trying to change the channel, and I'm stood in front of the TV. And one minute, I'm stood in front of the coffee table, trying to change the channel. And literally a second later, I'm knelt in front of the TV with the coffee table in pieces behind me.

I've basically just like smack, like knee smashed through the coffee table. And then I'm in front of the TV. The noise wakes up Lisa, right? And she comes downstairs. She just goes, this was exactly, I'm quoting exactly. Go to bed, you dickhead. That was,

that was her exact words. I'd woken up my pregnant wife. The other thing that happened to me, um, is that I did, I don't want to, I don't want to name it because I said some pretty off key shit on it, but like,

you're right. What are you looking at? Yeah, no, I was making sure it was recorded. My head is. Oh my God. Well,

thanks for doing that. 10 minutes in. Um, I, uh, I, um. I did a drunk podcast, and I got so drunk on the podcast that when it came out, more than one person told me they weren't going to be a fan of mine as a result of some of the stuff I said on the podcast. Wow.

Yeah. Wow. Are you that sort of, you're like a sort of like mean little drunk or? I don't think I'm mean, no. Like, I don't get aggressive. I don't get aggy, really. I just sort of,

well, it's like the classic textbook effect of alcohol. My filters come off, do you know what I mean? When I did Drunk Histories, I didin hood and i did tale of shakespeare yeah when i did the robin hood one i didn't realize how drunk i'd get like i picked my drink as being peroni and jagermeister i think and like i was drunk enough on peroni because i've been drinking that for hours in a pub and then they they kind of insist that you do the Jägermeister as well, right?

Just so it looks like you've got a variation of drinks. As I was driving back, like I was being driven back, I had to stop about five times to be sick. And then I decided to have a KFC. And I blamed the KFC for ages to caffeine that I had food poisoning. And she still tells the story now. She'll turn around to people and she goes, what's something? I'm some sort of idiot.

He stank of it. He'd just shot he'd done drunk histories. He came back and was blaming food poisoning. It was the most drunk I think I'd ever been. I slept in my clothes. I was so fucked. Do you know the thing is about that is, that's when I think

to myself, I understand when our other halves are less than sympathetic about us being at work. Because what was your day at work? Your day at work was to be given... You were paid to just get absolutely obliterated and then half-arsed some story from history. I mean, it's mental. You know what?

I was being sick. You've been sick in that way that it genuinely feels like there's like everything's coming out of your body and your eyes are watering and really like and like genuinely that being drunk isn't sexy anyway right but then being drunk with your face is so bulbous i look like you know like when people have had filler put in i literally my face was swollen and i was trying to say to her i had food poisoning like and trying to sort of say it was the hot wings yeah yes it was just like an absolute yes you're talking about being drunk at work right this is a weird one i had a massage the

other day right a sports massage you really are at work aren't you on this trip no i mate tell me what was the situation did you have like an undigested massive 25 eggs that you on this trip. No, mate. Tell me, what was the situation? Did you have like an undigested mass of 25 eggs that you couldn't move from you? Fucking chip, like massaging my fucking guts. I was so pent up. Like, I'm literally fucking, my bowel is just completely fucking just like,

oh, wow, this is so much. I'm just nervous that this is like a tumour or something. No, that is just a lump of egg white that you've got stuck in your system there. Basically, what you've got there, mate, is eggs and omelette. Yeah. You've actually got...

This is the first time we've seen it... The first time we've seen it outside of a sewer, you've got a fatberg making its way through your body. And cottage cheese. I'm addicted to cottage cheese out here cottage cheese is good apparently I mean obviously I find it morally reprehensible but like it's meant to be

it's like high protein low calorie shit right I've been busting out this fucking press up challenge right yeah thanks for the sponsorship by the way what sponsorship you haven't sponsored me yet for the press-up challenge why this is the fucking shit i hate all right listen i i don't we're not in fucking year nine and you're doing a walk and i've got to write on a fucking piece of paper for somebody i know

to fucking do the press-up challenge wait okay like literally someone who like i've spent my whole life with my right hand and your left hand jean pocket right okay we're like fucking bros like someone messaged me i went oh i've just scrolled down the list of sponsors romish isn't on there i was like leah he'll sponsor i reckon when it's done. He likes to see people... No, no, no. What you need to respond to that person is, what kind of fucking loser are you? That's what that response needs to be.

What kind of fucking absolute loser are you to scroll down the list and see if I've sponsored you? Find something else to do with your time no i actually thought it was quite sweet that they were reaching out man shout out to them um i won't say their name no please do send it to me after because i'd like to get in touch this is going to be this could be the one of the first in the history of dms i actually responded to them on a hillbilly sponsor at the end they're saying like and then

i said have you sponsored and they went they went quiet for a bit and then they just said no and i thought that's weird because then they've just essentially instead of it's not like they've looked at the list and then gone oh shit Romesh isn't on there they've gone to see maybe they'll sponsor when you do

maybe that'll be like the fucking floodgates opening but anyway look I've been doing that but I am going to sponsor you because I know

I'm taking the piss but it is a great cause you're doing it for so well done for doing that I'm coming across like a prick here but that's why

I love you but I do I do respect you do you know by the way it's my favourite Romesh is prick Romesh yeah I know but the

I know that's your favourite Romesh but the problem the problem with that is you encourage me to be a fucking dislikable piece of shit I mean like you agree with that

no but any time on this podcast when I do something I think it's on the edge of being fucking dickish I'll text you and I'll go was that out of order? You go I fucking love that.

I love that you've got a bit of venom about you. And then sure enough the podcast comes out and then we'll see an email going um thought Romesh was a bit out of order there

chastising Tom. Oh that's the exact bit that Tom congratulated me about. That's the bit that makes me laugh. That's the exact bit that Tom told me I should do more of. Mate, I love it. I think it's my favourite thing. But anyway, listen, bro, in all seriousness,

I think it has made a difference to your physique. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, now when this goes out, I'll be 1,500 press-ups in. How many are you doing in a session? Sometimes 100, sometimes I'll do like 20 hourly, sometimes 10 hourly.

Hold on, have you done 100 in one go? Not in one go, I've done like 40 in one go. Jesus. And then, yeah, but anyway, like on Saturday I felt like, oh, fuck, this is like, and I'm doing sessions with my guy Stan as well but I felt like oh shit I like I'm actually starting to feel like fucked

but absolutely like my body's aching so I only got a sports massage when I turned up the guy who did a sports massage had real alcohol in his breath right right

and he started he started chatting and he started like what are you like in a massage are you quiet are you chat

I do not chat at all absolutely I barely chat when i walk in to say what i want i find the whole thing look i enjoy massages but i find the whole thing completely embarrassing so you know you walk in and they've got this plinky plonky music and then they start asking what sort of pressure you'd like and then i get nervous about how to get undressed and shit like that and when you're space is it how undressed your space first thing i always do is get the get the person's name you walk in i'm like yo how you doing all right and he like what's your name he was like my name is peter straight away i noticed alcohol in his breath right he seems a bit glum uh i start sort of saying like this is what i'm after and he starts to go to work the alcohol to be fair to be fair

to peter if if my job was working at a hotel giving massages to any random prick that came in i'd probably have a couple of bevvies as well but anyway go on no but then i turn around to him and i say yeah is everything okay and then he starts talking about his personal life and he's actually he just split up with his girlfriend all right in the last a few days before this and i was like that would be that's almost the worst job that you could have to split up with someone because like then every day after that are you suspecting that he was sort of massaging your shoulders saying this reminds me of her or something no that's yeah that's what i'm getting right? Because then he's got to be sensual and sensitive with loads of other people's bodies.

What massage did you ask for? No. A minute ago, this was a sports massage. Now you're saying Peter's got to get sensual. No, but there's a sensuality to every massage you're ever going to have on the earth. No, I disagree. Absolutely disagree with that.

Mate, the difference between massages you've had going to have on the earth that's that's absolutely absolutely disagree with that mate the right the difference between like between massages you've had and i've had right is the person has yours normally ends with a hand job yeah no peter wasn't like that right what i'm saying is he peter had to sort of like he had to be at one with my body his hands and my body had to become one for my body to feel better right but i could feel that in p could feel in Peter that he wasn't giving everything he could. In what way? I mean, first of all, it's a sport. The thing is, though, it's a sports massage.

Aren't they supposed to, like, give you, like, it's not sensual. Aren't they supposed to, like, really fucking… It's, like, really deep. And he was, like, there's knots and all that. And then he was just, like, you know. But he said to me, like like and this is the other thing he spoke very good English by the way

shout out to Peter for that because I feel I always feel bad out here I don't speak any Spanish I'm getting by on the fact that his name's Peter yeah yeah yeah

are you sure like his name is Peter he's Spanish there's a Spanish guy called Peter yeah it might be spelled

differently over like an I in front of the U or maybe he took a look at you and he thought, this guy's not going to fucking handle my name. Little does he know, I do a podcast with someone called Romesh Ranganathan, which is a harder name to pronounce than most Spanish names.

Sure. And that doesn't qualify you to be able to pronounce every Spanish name that you come across, by the way. But anyway, he said to me, he was like, when he was talking me he was like when he was talking he was like what's your Spanish like well just so you know I can correctly pronounce

Romesh Ranganathan so I would consider that BTEC level 3 there go on he was he was doing my shoulders and he said

oh you're very tense you're very tired in your shoulders and I said yeah man I told him about the press up challenge I said I'd send him the link

and why was he why was he putting on a German accent to do this massage? I'm limited in the different – at the moment, I've got a German guy. You're not limited, though. You're a great mimic. And then he said, oh, man, if you think you're tense, you should feel my back. And I was like – and that's when he started saying how tense he was and everything he was going through. And he was quite – yeah, he said, it was then he, that's when he started saying how tense he was and everything he was going

through. And he was quite, yeah, he felt his back was, I then started trying to give him a bit of advice. Uh, but it's very hard to give the advice that we give on here. Give advice with a full hard on.

Yeah. It's very hard when you're getting a really like hardcore massage, he was going quite deep. And then I'm trying to do quite poetic advice about his life moving forward and stuff. It was quite a difficult thing I found. He was just... Did you feel any discomfort about knowing

that he'd split up with his girlfriend and then sort of insisting that he continues and completes a massage? Was there any part of you that felt a moral quandary there like you found out yeah but i put to not yeah but then he wouldn't get paid if i was like if i left early they'd say what's wrong i said oh peter's drunk no but you don't leave you don't leave no but what i'm saying is i'm going to sit in a room with him the two of us sitting there looking at each other yeah and and talk for about a 90 minute massage i'm just sitting there yes i i understand. I'm in absolute agony. Yes, I understand that.

But you've now found out that the guy should split up with his girlfriend. I mean, on a human level. Yeah, which I'm turning around to him and trying to... Yeah, I'm saying to him, look, there's plenty more fish in the sea. Is there any way of getting her back? You know, some of these things that I'm just trying to say to him through, like... Did you have your bucket cliches with you or were you just freestyling this i was sitting there and i was like no one point why don't you know when they took they pick up the towel and you had to turn over right yeah i put my hand on

his shoulder and said oh it's going to be okay everything you know you're young and handsome everything is going to be okay fucking hell But then I booked back in with him for this week. I'm seeing him again this weekend. Why would you do that? Because I felt bad at the end. He said, oh, you know, I think you need another session. And I said, yeah, cool. I'll see you Saturday next week, maybe.

So you felt like he was in a, you know, I'm obviously deliberately being a prick for the purposes of the podcast, but you felt like he was in a decent enough place to happily made a couple of times to happily give you another massage yeah yeah he seemed he seemed like if i'm honest at the end of it it felt like both of us had gained something it wasn't just like i'd he'd massage my body and i'd massage his soul and you know lovely it was yeah and afterwards what was nice he made me a nice cup of mint tea

but then like I say his English was good but not great so some of the advice I don't know if it went over his head a little bit this episode is brought to you by Tresemme

want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement the Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection.

Visit Tresame.com to learn more. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without

the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes it's not cup food it's good food in a cup visit canora.com to learn more when you get a massage um yeah does this happen to you that you experience kind of delayed onset pain afterwards sort of like you make that happens to everyone is that happens with everyone yeah when they go so deep into your your bits and your your muscles and stuff yeah sometimes you about an hour later you'll get a twinge in your back or your calf or whatever that's quite full-on i've got to say i love massages i love the whole experience i've

got i think like it's a hell of a skill mate i'd shout out any massager in the world actually and just say well done yeah yeah yeah i suppose it's a worthwhile thing doing yes shout out to any massager well done for what you do but you know like the thing is though i do one of my problems is i'm very socially awkward as you know and so when you're so amazing in a one-on-one situation well i don't know i don't know about that but i sort of um when i'm getting a massage and it's not enough pressure i feel too uncomfortable to say that so however you know however that's that's yeah you have to tell them and they'll respect you for telling them yeah it's the same thing with my pancake this is your

problem but since i spoke to the pancake the woman about the hole in it yeah I haven't her pancakes have been amazing they've been incredible I thought that was wasn't that

wasn't that one woman that like that was in there on a yeah well she's been back she's actually been moving around a bit she was on the fish this evening

right and she's really caring are you going to make a complaint about what she did on that station no I went and had some a little bit of sea bream it's beautiful and like you are to make a complaint about what she did on that station no I went and had a little bit of sea bream it's beautiful you are eating like a fucking

king aren't you you've got a pancake station omelette station, you've only got a sports massage and you had a bit of sea bream for dinner I'd love to know where that budget was when I was on fucking King Gary I was having to get where that budget was when I was on fucking King Gow. I was having to get my own fucking Deliveroo.

No, it's like, yeah, the hotels out here are very different from the ones in England. I've got to say, English hotels need to up their game. Be really careful. Look, going back to what I'm saying, right you're in a mess a massage situation right if you need to turn around to them and if it's not tough enough it's not hard enough right and they're going soft on you right yeah you need to turn around to them and say give it to me and that all that well you don't say those exact words to you well no you say like give it give up what you've got and then you gesture like that like you're fishing into your hand yeah but you need to tell them that you want more you want it harder i know i know you're right because the truth is every massage i've ever had however whatever pressure they start with is the pressure that i'm going to have for the duration of the

massage i don't feel comfortable enough to to say to them can you increase the pressure or can you decrease the pressure? Whatever they do, I will just accept. When Pete was on top of you. I'm very sub. Yeah. I'm a sub when it comes to a massage situation. Yeah, but this is the thing.

When Pete was laying on top of me on Saturday and he was going at it, he had a way. Let me just stop you there. Pete was laying on top of you. Yeah, he's like... He's straddled my back. Right? Did he?

Yeah, so he can get more pressure. So what, he mounted you like a horse? Yeah. What? What are you talking about? That's how they do it. He's basically on my... He's on my back.

I'm laying on my front. I'm not like a horse on all fours. No, I know that. But you're lying on your front and he climbs on top of you. Yeah, so he's on my back. So he's basically got his... He's straddled my bottom, essentially.

And then he's just going on my lower back and he's getting real pressure there. Tom, did Peter show you any idea or anything who i would say do you know i think do you know i think might have happened i might i think a man called peter who's staying at the hotel has broken up this girlfriend and he thought i need a little bit of human contact and And now he's straddled you and given you a massage. I've never, ever, ever heard of somebody climbing on top of somebody's back and massaging them.

Is that a thing? Mate, he was straddled. He wasn't on my actual website. I need to look. Go, carry on. Mate, I bet get some of the wolf in our pack, get them in touch. I bet this has happened to other people. He said he was getting in.

I was letting out little groans because the pressure was so paramount. It was amazing. They were the best massages I've ever had. A certified therapist is supposed to do their massage without their body beyond hands and or forearms touching the client. Straddling is a no-no. What? That is what is said so often in massage school and in training.

I'm just literally the first thing I've Googled here. Is it normal for a masseuse to straddle you? No. You should never straddle your client ever. I'm looking at massage guidance. Can I take action against a massage therapist for straddling me what tom i think genuinely is that true i mean listen i'm basing this on 90 seconds of research obviously but what i'm saying is you had to go at a woman for a crepe having a a gap in it and you allowed a man

to straddle you in a massage shop and said nothing he he thought I in my head he knew he was doing what he always does I've looked up massaging straddle and it says equine massage massage therapy which is horses so obviously that's that's understandable but for humans it says never you should never ever should a massage therapist straddle you no no no there's another google that someone's put and do massages include privates yeah but he didn't know he did look look his he didn't touch he didn't massage my well he massaged my bum a bit but he didn't massage my bum a bit. He didn't massage anything like my privates. He was like getting knots out of my bum.

I know that, but he climbed on top of you, bro. Yeah, but this is what I'm saying. I mean, it's the first time I've ever had it, but it's the first time I've ever had a deep sports massage like that. Hold on. Have you? That's never happened to me before. Hold on.

Is it... Was it... Was this the... Was this the... Is this the first time you've ever been straddled in a massage? Yes. It's never happened to me before. So why did you keep saying to me that's what they've got to do in a sports massage and if it's the first time it's never happened to me before so why did you keep saying to me that's what they've got to do in a sports massage and if it's the first time because it's yeah but

this is no but i'm like look okay look if you put your body in your mind or whatever like look you know i don't go to an ice cream van and question why he puts a flake and fucking hundreds and thousands on it is your ice cream yeah but you would you would do if you put his dick if he put his dick in it you would do, wouldn't you? No, but I'm trying to figure out, I don't question, like, this guy's in control.

Tom, you're having a go at me. Right, here's one for you. If I'm driving around London in a black cab, right, I get in a black cab and say, oh, how are you doing? I want to go to Milo Bone Station. I don't tell him the route.

I know that he knows where he's going. in the same way i'm like this guy knows what he's doing what if he says hop on i'll piggyback you there would that would that cause you any kind of consternation so you're having a go you're having a go at me for not having a go at me but you're saying to me you need to speak up if they're not using enough pressure as you didn't speak up when a man climbed onto your ass and started i'm not even complaining about that i didn't even say like i i genuinely at that point i thought oh fucking hell he's really getting stuck in here yeah so how much contact would you have allowed this guy to make with you before actually raising the concern i mean how much are you willing to

accept as part of the massage experience look he the way I you know but I was like what have you said to you what have you said to you oh sometimes you have to actually in order to release some of the pressure in the shoulders you have to give apply a little bit of pressure to the gooch would you have just accepted that as part of

his methodology perhaps it's my shoulders I would have probably given it a try he was look the way I saw shoulders, I would have probably given it a try. He was... Look, the way I saw it, right. I would say this, right. Yeah. I went in there feeling very stiff, having a bit of a Frankenstein bowl around me. I left feeling very lithe, like the world had been taken off my shoulders.

I feel now, I feel kind of cool and relaxed. Well, I feel a little bit more stressed now. I would feel relaxed. Because I've been violated. I would feel relaxed after a man clambered off me i definitely feel relaxed what what what do i do in this scenario when it comes to because i'm seeing him again saturday is this is this is this really happening are you being serious right now yes i'm being serious i'm seeing him on saturday now i'm seeing him essentially i've got to go in on saturday my hope opening gambit was a chat with

him about like, oh, how, you know, how is everything? And like, you know, with the girlfriend and stuff.

Now I'm going in thinking, what do I say? Like when he says, we're about to get into emails. All right. So let's, let's use this as a nice little segue. Let's think about it like this.

Imagine we got an email in saying, dear Wolf and Al, uh, just want to say, love the podcast. I know the al won't read this because he finds that sort of thing embarrassing i've got a little bit of a problem uh just for the purposes of embarrassment can you refer to me as the potentially abused otter

i went for a massage recently uh because i was a bit stressed out from doing a lot of exercise and midway through the massage the masseuse did something that i've never experienced before where he straddled my ass and started massaging my back i had no idea how the massage worked and assuming that's what you had to do to to apply the appropriate pressure later on upon doing a quick google because i thought it was a bit unusual it occurred to me that maybe this wasn't an appropriate thing to do. I've booked in for a massage with him at a later date. How should I handle it? Kind regards, love the podcast, possibly abused otter.

Talk to me. How would you advise him? I would probably just say there, look, you know, talk to the guy. If you're seeing him again and you enjoyed the massage, just basically lay down probably some parameters and like some sort of like you know say hey i really love my body felt nice and relaxed after the last time uh you know in reflection probably let's give the whole straddling thing a bit of a miss and just keep it to sort of you know hands and elbows contact um do you have the guts to have that conversation with peter

well yeah i'm here's a real question are you going to tell me that's what you're going to do but actually in your mind you've already decided that you didn't mind him straddling you and you're probably going to have the same massage again if i wanted to view the straddling thing never bothered me until you told me now i do think like whether he's like... He has been to Mashard School because his hands were fucking magic. But there's a part of me thinking, do I want a maverick

who's thinking outside the box? And also, there's a part of me thinking... How did his crotch feel? I mean, he was a very muscular guy. He looked a bit... So, I just want to get this in my mind's eye correct, right?

Was he sat on top of you with his legs up inside your body? Yes. Yeah. And where was his junk? What was he wearing? Just like a pair of those loose, yogary trousers. So he had yoga trousers. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's so beautiful. So he had yoga trousers. Oh my God.

Yeah, that's so beautiful. So you must have felt his penis and balls on your back then? Yeah, on my lower back I knew that they were there. You know who he looked a lot like?

I couldn't get it out of my head who he looked exactly like. A sex offender? No, he didn't. Mate, he looked like Alexis Sanchez. Right, okay.

He was like like you know this is the weirdest thing of all i'm gonna i'm gonna have to have the the mountain situation you know with him right but also i don't think i i don't think you should base it on my opinion and my 90 seconds of internet research because it's possible let's be absolutely honest it's possible that that is a legitimate massage technique can we get if there's any masseuses out there or anyone who knows their way around a bit of massage background stuff please get in touch reach out uh let's know if this is you know because i kind of want to get a picture of peter and me just to sort of put up because i think you need to to the police, I imagine. You prick. Poor old Peter.

There's a part... Do you know what? At one point, I did think that maybe he was just... Because he was so hammered and quite tired that his legs were hurting and that's why he straddled me.

Yeah. And he wanted to sit down. It's fucking weird, man. By the way, when he did my legs, it was just my back. He didn't straddle me and face the other way.

I don't think it matters what stage in the massage he straddled you, mate. Right. Well, please get in touch. Any masseuse experts out there? Yeah, please do. I might be completely wrong. Can I just say, by the way, this is where I'm at, by the way, in life, and I've got to say I love it.

Birkenstocks, man. Yeah, I know them very well because I was forced to wear them when I played Stuart Williams on King Garo. No, but they're incredibly comfortable. I've got these with a Jordan sock on today and it's a drippy little look. Do you ever wear them without socks? No.

No, no, no, no, no. That's a crock life. And long may that continue. Okay. This is from the silly staff. Once again, shout out to the swan for choosing these emails. Hey, Wolf, Owl, Swan and Cat. Muchas gracias for the...

Oh, there you go. A little bit of Spanish for you. For the weekly uplift you give to us, your peculiar zoo of... I can't read today, man. I'm the silly staff. I wanted to share a weird dream I had last night where the wolf made an unexpected appearance.

Like the wolf, I also have a... Are you paying attention, by the way? Yeah, I'm listening, I'm listening, I'm listening. What are you looking to? Are you Googling this massage stuff? I'm a little bit worried. I've just texted Catherine to say I'm worried about this whole massage situation.

Go on, go on, hit me. I wanted to share a weird dream I had last night where the wolf made an unexpected appearance. Like the wolf, I also have ADHD, and for me that means I have mad, vivid dreams every night. Last night I was up there with some of the very fucking strangest I've had. My family, friends, myself and Oddy the Owl were under attack by the mad drag queen Divine, who was trying to kill us all.

At one point we were trying to barricade... So I did feature in this dream as well. But I don't seem to be in the headline of it for some reason. At one point, we're trying to barricade the windows to keep her out, but we were falling, failing, so we squatted down and hid under a desk. As we're all squatting in horror, I looked across at the wolf who was also shitting himself and looking extremely worried. I know it's a strange shadow...

Can I just say, when I thought that I was going to come and save everyone in this dream, that was going to be the spoiler. The way that it was described, the wolf made a really cool appearance. I didn't think I'd be seeing it. It says unexpected. So I noticed a strange shadow between the wolf's legs. And I thought, what the fuck is that? Was it divine?

Was this it? Is she going to kill us in the darkness? Then I realized the wolf had a massive hole in his... Oh, Jesus Christ. is that was it divine was this it she is is she going to kill us in the darkness then i realized the wolf had a massive hole in his oh wow jesus christ then i noticed the wolf then i noticed the wolf had a massive hole in his camo utility trousers and the menacing dark entity was in fact his bollocks jesus christ they were dangling out perfectly cupped in khaki boxing material, like the soft, ripe figs of Christmas Day. He couldn't believe it, and neither could any of us. Even in our fear, the wolf...

Yeah, but also, when I'm shitting myself... So I've got my trousers on, I'm shitting myself with my bollocks hanging out. Well, I don't think you're literally shitting yourself. You're scared about the drag queen. Oh, OK, cool. He couldn't believe it, neither could any of us. Even in our fear, the wolf, myself, and my entire family absolutely pissed ourselves with laughter

as he swung them about and attempted to tuck them back in. All, might I add, while the drag queen was squeezing herself through the window. Have you sweet souls ever had weird dreams about someone you've never met? Thanks again for the weekly cheer-ups. I love your honesty and openness. Tom, what's your initial response to this when I'm born it's like a pretty vivid crazy dream

I'm pretty uncomfortable on this sofa I'm back in one of these conference rooms I need a massage from Peter you know my back's fucked man you should fly out here and get a massage with Peter when I was listening to the Matthew McCew matthew mcconaughey book i he would feature in nearly all of my dreams one way or another i got a little bit

matthew mcconaughey obsessed i was just like i listened to his audio book i listened was listening to his you know on calm the calm app they've got his the story reads like it's the same story but you know i've never had the end of it because i've always fallen asleep um i got slightly obsessed with him and so he started literally pulling up in quite a lot of my dreams with the sort of like you know one way or another whether he was stealing katherine katherine from me or like he was a bad guy or he was a good guy he was sort of my best friend that i'd go to for advice in a bar or something like yeah he was he was quite a sort of yeah I reckon for about six months quite a stable feature in my dreams actually after a while I was just a bit like oh fuck like Matthew McConaughey's not in these anymore was it sad did you sort of I must like

a character in a way yeah like a character you know like when you look really like a soap character and then they just they're not in it anymore. It felt a little bit like that. I had a weird experience when I was a kid where I went to watch The Lion King at the cinema. And I went through a phase of being obsessed with The Lion King. Right. Just because I thought it was such a beautiful film and I loved it so much. And I started, I had a dream about being in that world

like I was a cartoon lion in that world. And when I woke up, what are you doing? What are you doing right now? I'm opening up to you. No, no, no. No, I just like, I don't, I've just got the idea. Because actually, like, if you, Simba, and you're sort of like, you said, well, mate, you should have.

Like, you'd be like the Milhouse to his Bart Simpson. I don't think we should go past Pride Rock. We're only supposed to go where the light touches, Simba. I think we're going to get in a little bit of trouble here. You've seen how much trouble those hyenas cause. Oh, I'm not a big fan of the hyenas. They're so mean. And then,

you don't mind me saying, I think your uncle's a bit dodgy. I don't think we should go over there. Um, anyway, I woke up from the dream

and like, I was really upset that I wasn't in the Lion King. Like, I was upset that I didn't live in that world. And I actually carried

that with me for the next few days. Wow. Like, just being really sad that I wasn't an animal. How old were you at this point? The Lion King. I was too old to be feeling like that.

Because I was going to say, the Lion King came out when we were about, well, I was probably about 13, so you'd have been about 15. Yeah, I must have been like 14. 14 or 15. You all right, rubbish? Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. It's a bit hard, you know, just going through a bit of a tough time. What is it?

Oh, yeah, I just thought I was the Lion King, but actually I'm not, so... Crack. Yeah, it's just another rejection. I thought I was going to get it on with Nala. I think I've talked about this on the podcast before but I did have a dream that I was going out with Brandy when Moish came out. Yeah, and I woke up feeling really disappointed that I wasn't in a relationship with her.

It's funny, isn't it? Like dreams and people... Have you ever had it where someone from your past just rocks up in a dream and then you're like yeah and you don't know and you haven't thought about them or anything and they just randomly

pop up yeah like it's happened to me a couple of times and I've actually tried to find that person on Facebook I'm just like

sometimes I think is that like is that a spiritual thing them being sent towards me and I've just completely forgotten about them i've

paid them no heed and they they all they might need a friend or someone to reach out and go yo you're how you doing you're right like oh yeah i was going for a bit of a tough time you know you came to me in the trip it's happened a lot with you know when you apparently in the bible and stuff not i'm saying i'm jesus but did uh did you ever did you ever did you ever take action on what yeah I've reached out someone but then it's creepy did you say did you tell them did you tell them it's not as you dreamt about them no I'm not said that that's quite I'm sorry doing them yeah thinking about you the other day yeah yeah yes I really when we thinking about when I was a slate you know where

went to a theme park together. Yeah, a big drag queen was trying to get us. I was shitting myself under the table with my bollocks out. Yeah. You still do massages. I hope that helped. Weird dream, though. But can I just say, silly stuff,

beautifully described that, Drew. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives Zilliqa, the new empire, now playing only in theaters. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Want visibly glowing skin in 14 days? With new Olay Indulgent Moisture Body Wash,

you can lather and glow. the 24-hour moisturizing body wash is infused with vitamin b3 complex and has notes of rose and cherry creme for a rich indulgent experience treat your senses with new olay indulgent moisture body wash buy it today at major retailers okay here's the next email this is from the nosy starling hello wolf out swan and cat very much enjoying the podcast it's the only one that makes me cry of laughter on a regular basis i have to be careful i listen anyway hoping you can help with a dilemma the people across the road have got builders in to renovate their newly purchased house i work from home and can see all the activity from my office window they're a really really nice family, the owners, not the builders, and have been very accommodating with the work. The builders themselves seem nice enough, but

they're really cutting corners on their health and safety to the point where I sometimes watch them and make sure I have my mobile phone in hand in case I need to call 999. For example, yesterday one guy climbed a ladder to the scaffolding on the second floor carrying a heavy bucket of render in one hand. There aren't enough boards on the scaffolding so he balanced on the pipe while he uses one free hand to lever himself off the ladder and onto the scaffold and they did a high wire walk act walking along the pipe and then he got to a single board that is balanced unsecured we need to apply the render to the wall i suspect if i rang whoever you report this kind of thing they might stop the building work which would make it very hard for the young family to move in in

time for christmas on the other hand i'm really worried one of the builders is going to slip and badly injure himself or worse i could approach the builders and make the point but first that's quite intimidating and second they speak hardly any english i could speak to the owners but i feel like a bit of an interfering prick doing that in all likelihood the building work will finish there won't be any accidents and i'll be worrying over nothing there's a small chance that something could go badly wrong thoughts very much appreciated much appreciated. The nosy Starling. Tommy Davis, can you hand out some of your advice? Yo, Starling, at once, at peace.

You are sweet to yourself. He's got some lovely kindred heart to them. I would say in this situation, actually, I think it probably is worth just reaching out to the family and saying, yo, I've been watching from afar, not to be nosy, but the building work going up. And I just think that maybe it's worth having a word with the builders about health and safety. I would say this, and this is through having worked

in the building trade for a good long while. I would just be inclined to quite so if they're not if they're cutting corners as they are there's a really really good chance that they're also cutting corners with some of the work they're doing which could mean that there's sort of health and safety issues within the house and you know that's uh you know if they're moving in with kids and a young family that's quite a worry. Me and Catherine actually had this. We had it. We were basically in the process a number of years ago of having a new build,

and we were moving into it, and there was just so many things that were going wrong with it. We actually lost our deposit, and we pulled out of it, just because there just seemed to be so many. It was problem after problem from shoddy workmanship. And I'd say that I'd probably just have a chat with them before I called any officials because, like you say, that could actually really scupper their plans.

And, yeah, also the thing would, there should probably be a site foreman, but if you've got a rapport with these people anyway, it's probably best to do that rather than be the person going over and having a go at a load of sort of, you know, builders. And, yeah, I would say this, you know, on the defence for the builders, rather than be the person going over and having a go at a load of builders. I would say this, on the defence for the builders, a lot of times people are under increasing pressure. It's a very busy industry at the moment,

and people are under questioning to get work done. People want everything done yesterday. So the corners don't get cut. But then the last thing you want is an accident to happen on your property because i think you they could well be liable for it and uh yeah so i mean i'd have a chat with them well done for raising this subject and to keep doing you my friend uh nosy starling i sort of concur with everything that my esteemed colleague tom davis said there i think that um the truth of it is is you've got to there's two reasons that you need to speak to the people that own the house

uh both selfless and selfish the selfless one is what tom's talked about which is they're probably cutting corners on the actual building and if there is an incident it's going to cause massive issues for this family um and and selfishly you need to feel like you've done something about this it's obviously causing you anxiety otherwise you wouldn't have got in touch with us to tell us about it so i think you need to feel like you've done something i would not advise talking to the builders uh for all the reasons that you've outlined i just don't think any good can come from that but i do think immediately uh you need to speak to this family and let them deal with it it's up to them how they then deal with it.

What you need to be able to do is if you speak to them, you need to absorb yourself of any responsibility from that point. You know, like tell them, let them know, and let them take action on it. And if they ask you for a favour to keep an eye on them going forward, then, well, that's up to you whether you do that or not. But I think you do need to take action because, yeah, it sounds like a bit of a tricky one so

um look good luck with that well done for being concerned because there's a lot of people that would have seen that and just gone oh fuck it it's not my problem do you know what i mean so it obviously shows you've got a good heart so uh well done for doing that okay this is from james and Nancy, and it says, Dear Wolf... What's wrong with me? This is what happens on the evening ones, man. To be fair, the energy's been good in this, man. The energy's been fine.

The energy's been good. This email is from Sarajevo. Oh, wow. Wowzers. In Bosnia. I've been, by the way. Yeah, one of my favorite episodes of your show. I'm writing this email from Sarajevo the day after my girlfriend surprised me with the news that she managed to get pre-sale tickets

to the manchester gig oh the manchester wolf and owl gig on the 5th of january uh which just happens to be my 31st birthday we've been together 11 years now and i'm so lucky to have her would love if you could give her a shout out uh shout out to nancy yo nancy you're a legend thanks for getting tickets great birthday present we're currently at the back end of a year of traveling around europe in a camper converted and for transit and you've been the soundtrack to many a long weary drive i honestly don't think we'd have survived some of them without you two sweet sweet souls keeping us company we decided to treat ourselves to some well-deserved r and r by staying in a hotel in bosnia for a few days

of plumbing and beds instead of the usual daily search for a public bathroom or secluded bush somewhere. Anyway, one small question, one slightly bigger, so feel free to answer just one. I'll give you two, Tom, and you can decide how you deal with it. Ahead of our transition back to the real world of work and the daily grind in the UK next year, do you have any advice on how to best readjust to

a daily routine after a long time of freedom? Maybe something you've picked up after touring? That's the first question. Question two. We have a long drive back to the uk in the next few weeks can you suggest a perfect tune or artist to add to our road trip playlist thanks for being along the ride for us uh with us and we can't wait to see both in january much love from james and nancy tommy james and nancy yo thank you for. Thank you for letting us be a part of this amazing journey you've been on. Adjusted, readjusted. I'd say it's a bit like, yeah, I mean, tour-wise, Romesh is your guy,

but I'd say, like, when you're away shooting, like, and you're filming for eight weeks or whatever, you know, 12, 14, whatever weeks, you can sort of get out of how the real world works and you can, you know, your mind can sort of drift a little bit. What's really good is if you can just find slowly, I'd say to sort of have a little time to decompress, like a little bit of time just to sort of get yourself relaxed back into your house, back into your lives.

But just going in to see people and getting I think you I mean I'd say well you sort of readjust it quite quickly don't you it's nice catching up with people it's nice yes sort of like yeah getting that sort of feeling and giving yourself loads to do I'd say the quicker you can get into sort of or some sort of normality the better and also what you what's great is when you've been on sort of an adventure like yours it's it's an incredible thing to sort of go and meet people and sort of show people sort of what you've been up to and the things that you've seen and things that you've done i think yeah i think it's i think you'll find it adapting better and

quick um as for something to listen do you know what i've just listened to i just think it's incredible is i listened to the set Seth Rogen book on audiobooks. I think it's one of the best autobiographies I've ever listened to. So I'd say have a little listen in to that. It's good. I love listening to, me and Catherine, I love listening to,

we'll bang on some show tunes and sing along. A little bit of Whitney Houston, I Want to Dance With Somebody. It's always a good thing. But something you can sing together is always good. I mean, Ron will have a cool hip-hop track. But I think singing at the top of your lungs as you drive along a freeway,

that's a pretty sweet life. Keep doing you, enjoy the rest of your trip, and we will see you in Manchester. And we will be toasting, you beautiful souls. Okay, well you're now going to need to make a note of that because it's highly likely we'll forget to do that by the time we what we should probably do is just keep a note of all the different things that we promised for the manchester show yeah i'm happy for you to do that yeah and then we'll chat about it near the time uh okay uh james and nancy uh transition to back to the real world of work um i have this a lot where when I'm on tour or when I'm away doing a travel show,

I can't envisage what it's going to be like to get back to something else. I can't get it into my head. What you will find is exactly what Tom said, which is you are just going to slip back into it. So what I would do, my advice to you is, before you head back to the real world of work, because the truth is when you get back to work, it's a i don't know how much you're going to how much you enjoy the jobs that you do or that you're going to be doing but what i would do is set aside a little bit of

time to kind of get to see everybody again and have a little bit of like readjustment i mean a bit of readjustment but what i would say to you is you don't really need to worry about it you're going to just basically slip into it pretty easily that's been my experience you know when i've been out on the road or when i went to australia for a while or even when i went to i went i wouldn't lived in la i mean at least when the kids came with me but i lived in la for like five months and we're thinking i wonder what this is going to be like when we get back you slip into it so quick man it's like it's so quick you're just back into it and you can't

remember ever not being at home so um so yeah it's that old it's that whole thing is home is where the heart is and heart is where the home is yeah i've never heard the second part of that but did you just make that yeah yeah i've made it up i think it's more apt than the you added that yeah i thought you did well heart is where the home is yeah yeah i don't know if that's more is that more apt i think yeah because you're hard i think the second part works without the first part but the Well, a heart is where the home is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know if that's more... Is that more apt? I think, yeah, because your heart... I don't think the second part works without the first part, but the first part definitely works that way. Yeah, yeah, but it feels like it's lazy,

the person who's come up with it. They haven't... A home is where the heart is, but actually also, mate, a heart is where the home is. Yeah, I don't... Yeah, okay, fine. Yeah, but I mean, it's good. It's good.

I don't know why I'm being so snippy about it. It's actually all right. I love snippy rums. It's my favourite rum. Yeah, I know, but people don't like snippy rum. I love snippy about it it's actually all right i love snippy it's my favorite yeah i know but people don't like snippy rom i love snippy rom snippy rom is the least popular version of romesh i think except with you i love him anyway okay uh we have a long drive back to the uk in the next few weeks can you suggest a perfect tune or artist okay i've talked about him before i can't stop listening to this record it's the Forever Story by JID

JID is signed to Dreamville it's like with J. Cole, it's a hip hop album it's basically brand new hip hop that doesn't sound like anything else that's come out and it's just an incredible album, I just think it's amazing and I can't figure out, sometimes you

listen to records and you can't even fathom the level of creativity that took to make that record and that is one of them so check out the jid album forever story it's unbelievable and also nasa's just brought a new album that is less experimental than the jid album it's sort of like sounds like old school banging hip-hop so if you like if you mix those in with the the soundtrack to the greatest showman or all of it. Then what you've got yourselves there is a perfect Rom and Tom playlist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope you have a good time and good luck

with your return and look forward to seeing you in January. Tom will have it all annotated and I'm sure we'll get the shoutouts done for you because he's taking care of the admin on that. Tom! Yo. It's time for us to bow out, my friend, so could you please do us the honours of a little bit of chat to take us out of the pod? Yeah. What is time?

Is it a watch that you wear upon your wrist? Or is it a big brick building that sits in the middle of London with a clock face upon it? Is it the walk to work where you stroll past the crispy couple of leaves that crunch beneath your feet? Is it the waiting for a train? What is time? Time is important because it's the only thing that we can't buy more of and we can't lose any of unless we get to the end of the road. The fact of the matter is time is so important that we make it work for us

like we make many other things work for us show time the respect it deserves put your arm around it like you would an elderly relative not too tight nay, too squeezy but delicate enough to say

I love you with all my heart and I hope that you'll always be here I want you to today, heart and I hope that you'll always be here. I want you to today wake up when you listen to this, look at your watch and say yo it's 8.44. I've never really thought about 8.44 before but by God it's always been alright to me. Remember time is your friend in an oasis of other earthly things.

That was really good. Really nice. And I like the way you repositioned your hat for it as well. It was great. Yeah, I thought if nothing else, that might work. Thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for Now once again. In tribute to James and Nancy, who are going to be returning back from their European trip,

their email reminded me of a song by Michael Kiwanuka called Home Again. So, JT, could you play us out a little bit of Kiwanuka? I love him, even though he's a Spurs fan. We'll see you next time. We'll see you at the live dates if you book tickets. Thank you so much. We've added another London date. So check that out.

Oh, by the way, Rom, I've got other big news. Oh, God. I have been sent, someone has sent me a picture of what a tour-wrapped tour bus would look like for now. Are you serious? Yeah. I'm trying to think of how we get it done. For what? For three days on the road together. For three days? at the footwall for now are you serious yeah I'm trying to think of how we get it done for what

for three days for three days for three days on the road together you don't know how excited I am about being on three days with you

in the back of a car in a hotel room okay I don't know if that justifies the cost of wrapping a tour bus but okay

if there's anyone else out there who hires out tour buses who wants to do two steady sweet souls a goddamn cold ass favour in January no one else is touring

it's very quiet so hit us up ok take care of yourselves and each other see you next time bye bye love guys

moving on moving on so I'll close my eyes and the tears will clear Then I'd feel no fear Then I'd feel no weight My past will be made straight If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com.

We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.