Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 22: Superheroes & Small Talk

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

We’re talking… off-duty superheroes, international takeaways, teutonic troubles, cultural differences, small talk styles, World Cup concerns and Netflix Specials. Then, some email questions answered on long distance running, a very difficult career decision and a colleague with some pretty unpleasant habits. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yeah, what do you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Disney Plus. Welcome to the Wolf and a dog. the easiest podcast in the world today yeah and yet we managed to make it feel like the most onerous thing ever it's genuinely like yeah and also i'm i'm not on holiday filming but i have time it's just my time fluctuating it's like you know like a special superhero type thing where they've got to get the right amount of spider venom and the right amount of adrenaline and then they ping do you know what i mean yeah what do you mean what do you mean spider venom and the right amount of adrenaline and then they ping do you know what i mean yeah what do you mean what do you mean spider venom but you know when spider-man got bitten by the spider he got spider venom yeah and that's what made him spider-man oh i see okay you do know a bit all right i thought you thought he had to reload with spider venom or something every time like if he had to get there to top up well he does have to top up his web shooters doesn't he

yeah but like if he had to sort of like break into like a sort of like spider enclosure like chessington zoo to get some like a tarantula to bite him and if the yeah that'd be a cool that'd be a cool thing to keep coming back to in the film let's do the same thing every now and again like oh oh yeah it's time for him to go back to chessington okay i wonder how this is going to pan out i've done it pretty easily becauseesington security isn't up to the i will say this with um superheroes i'd like to see more of their chilled lives would you yeah yeah sometimes i'd like to if i if marvel came to me now and we're like we want you to make a we want you to make a marvel film i'd say right here's what i think is i'd probably make it more of a rom-com

that more sort of more of a chilled sort of like vibe but maybe like silver lining playbook but also with some action now and again yeah it's been it's been one of the greatest cinematic phenomena of the last 15 years it'd be great to see that one film take it down mate i just think you need to see more of clark kent like sort of brushing his teeth and sort of chilling a bit like going to get a hot dog and then sort of waiting in a queue for a hot dog like that's me fucking every superman is queuing for a hot dog what is he doing yeah and then and then i think it's a great idea so you don't show any of the action so like clark kent's walking around with lois Lane and then he says, I hear something

and then she goes, okay, you better go. And then he flies off and then you stay with Lois Lane just waiting. Or yeah. And then you cut back to him coming back with some pizzas and her saying, what was it? And him being like, I was nothing. It was just some school kids just playing the prank on us. By the way, these are, these are straight from Napoli. So I popped over there. That would be sick wouldn't it? Like being able to do that. Yeah. yeah where would you where do you think you'd most regularly go if you're a superhero just getting takeaway oh for takeaway i mean you've you've called the big one i don't know you'd have

to go to you'd have to sort of like fly over and get sort of like a proper good sort of like i'd like a time meal that'd be pretty amazing to go to thailand and get a like full fucking banquet but then also, nothing else would make Superman more lame than see him flying through the air with a couple of brown bags sort of takeaway, like a delivery bag. That would almost like... I know. And then he lands and he's got some Thai green sauce down the front of his ass.

And Lois is like, were you eating it on the way? Where have all the prawn crackers gone? Oh, I ate them. Every time he tells that to Fart, why does your suit stink of fucking... Have you been eating bargees? What is going on? Your cape absolutely reeks. I had to use it to wipe my mouth because I've got a bit of grease on it. You know, the samosas, they just sort of drip down your chin a bit. So I just... It's quite hard to eat and fly at the same time

and as you've watched me fly I used to have both arms out now I'll sort of have one and I'll be eating like a chicken like some KFC or some

I mean I'll probably go to New York and get some fried chicken and shit it's sounding more and more like your kind of Superman I do think yeah New York's got to be up there isn't it

in terms of places you go and get some scrum yeah yeah I'll probably go to Vegas like for a few hours drop a couple of quid yeah fly back in terms of places you go and get some scrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll probably go to Vegas for a few hours, drop a couple of quid, fly back. How do you think this is going to go today?

We're both sort of half asleep, aren't we? 7am start. I mean, to be fair, this is pretty much my usual start of the day. Not doing a podcast, but waking up at this sort of time. To be fair, Grace has started sleeping until about eight o'clock but i'm the only one i wake up my body clock is now used to her waking up at sort of 6 6 30. yeah and catherine will usually so i usually do the early sort of bit well oh you know or we should come in bed with the three of us we'll just have like a little play in bed but like now the two of them still sleep to about eight and i i'm not making a

podcast or fucking cleaning up around the house yeah making a podcast i don't think is something you can list alongside sort of a list of jobs you know we we literally just quick record and say whatever pops into our head mate um i i've got to apologize to lisa thean. She came up to me the other day and she said mango. Oh. Because. Lovely. I suggested that she wasn't listening to the podcast anymore. And she is.

So sorry about that. I apologise. Wow. I actually always knew that Sweet Lisa would be listening. You didn't say that last week. Yeah, because I knew in my heart that sweetly she was still listening i could feel it sometimes uh how have the last few days been for you very chilled man very chilled uh a little bit of filming um i will say i don't know if i've

talked about this on here have i talked about the german my germans and yeah you had an argument with a well actually actually i'm glad you bring this up because there's something i've been meaning to talk to you about when you first told me about the argument at the omelette station yeah and then we started i wanted to question you about that and then we moved on to it as is the one the way with our lovely meandering little podcast we we wandered off and never came back to it but um do you remember that the german guy asked for an omelette yeah and then he just took the omelette and you said what did you say exactly i said no you don't say thank you you don't say please and thank you well when you first told the story you said he took the omelette and then i went you don't say please and thank you where you're from and i thought that was a pretty

i'd say where you're from yeah yeah the thing about it do you think that's a pretty strong move it is a bit no i i will say this so i've been living we're not we're in a villa now which is probably better for my uh was that always going to happen or yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um we just wanted to mix up while we're here. But, look, I've always, the Bavarians, I've always had a lot of time for them. I've been to Germany a number of times, always got on with them.

I thought actually when they held a World Cup, one of the best World Cups I've ever been to. But when you're here, I've got to say, man, sometimes they are so, their level of, I don't know if it's just, they just don't think being polite is important or saying hello or thank you or if you hold a lift for someone or help someone with a suitcase they just don't they have no thank yous or pleases they're very very cold when you say they who are you talking about germans right okay okay just i'm not saying

it in some sort of like going back to the Germans. No. I genuinely, I've overly tried to be nice to them. How many Germans have you come across, do you think? I'd say in my hotel, which was, you know, I'd say 500 to 600 people in the hotel, I'd say at least 75% of them german so a lot of german people 75 of the people standing in a hotel are german yeah yeah yeah and you've not met a single polite one is that what you're saying no no no no no there's been

your one or two who i've gone there but but i'd say out of that 75 i'd say seven percent of them have been polite and decent if your only interaction with German culture and German people had been you'll stay at the whatever the hotel is don't name it would you say that you'd come away from that feeling slightly anti-German is that what you're saying? Yeah without a doubt

Oh my god I was giving you a way out there No no no No and also let me just say, I've sat with Swedish people, I've sat with people from all around the world. Name a country, I've sat in Germany. Listen, I've heard this preamble

from every racist I've ever met. Go on. No, I'm not saying that. I don't know whether it's... Do you know what the other thing might be? It might not even be Germans. It might be German golfers. Okay.

Because that's the other thing I'll say, is golfers, and I love playing golf, you know that. There's a vibe with golfers when you're staying at a golf resort, a golf hotel, that socially they're not the most, they like the sociality of golf, but they don't actually like, you know, they can be quite rude. I don't know if it's German.

Maybe I'm going in on Germans. It could be unfair. Maybe it's just German golfers. I would say there's no it's German. Maybe I'm going in on Germans. It could be unfair. Maybe it's just German golfers. I would say there's no shadow of a doubt that you're going in on Germans. My question would be... I may say Matthias, who's in the show, who's one of my favourite people in the world,

is German. Right. Have you spoken to him about this? Yeah, I mentioned it to him. What did he say? I said he came there and he was like... I said to him i had like dinner with him here after we played golf yeah and so you will eat you will eat with them oh mate look

you know me right for me if there's one thing i've overly choked katherine said why are you working so hard to make them like you i get nothing back yeah you know what i feel like it feels like pretty much any romantic relationship I had between the age of about 15 and the age of 32. I'm doing a lot of the legwork and I'm getting nothing back. Do you think it's possible there's a German contingent at that hotel that are going, they're just talking about this English man that won't stop chatting to them. And then hopefully, if you don't say please and thank you and don't talk to him back, he might leave you alone. I have no doubt that that's happening. alone. Do you reckon that's possible?

I have no doubt that that's happening. I have no doubt that that's happening. I showed the other one the other day because he looked a little bit lost. I showed him where the meat station was. And he didn't even say thank you. There's a meat station? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my God. But he was, I said, you all right, mate? And he went, yes, I'm fine. And I was like. Oh, what a rude bastard. No, he said it like that, yes, I'm fine. And he just stared at me. right mate and he went yes i'm fine and i was like oh what a rude what a rude bastard no he said it like that yes i'm fine and he's just german he's german how else do you want him to say it i'm fine thank you yeah but he's speaking in his second language bro and also you don't know you don't know what this is why i'm interested into what you said to matthias because

like it's possible that you know know, in some cultures, please and thank you might not be, I'm not saying, listen, I'm speaking from a position of complete ignorance. All I'm saying is, language has different kind of tropes and different kind of ways, you know, in British language. You know what, maybe it is. I think actually you would get on very well with the Germans.

Because you think I'm a rude prick. Is that what you're saying? No, no, I just think that they don't, small talk isn't their thing. Yeah, I can get think that they don't small talk isn't their thing yeah i can get on board with that small talk isn't their thing i think just functional conversation yeah i like the idea of that yeah i think it's like if they seem like they're very like look i'm always happy just to walk over and go have you seen your class today and then just have a chat about the desserts right whereas you'll walk over and go oh bloody hell i can't believe the quantum physics of a, like, ice cube or whatever.

And then they'll all sit and chat about it, right? Why have you pulled that out of your eye? You've gone from me not liking small talk to me being some sort of fucking lab coat nerd. Why? I'm just saying, it's the sort that you, like, chat, or, like, you walk over and just go, um,

I can't believe that CDs are made from plastic right that's all but that's Tom Tom that's also small talk

you're you're going you don't like a small talk and then you're doing impressions of me where I do a different type of small talk

what so you go over and you say something cool like oh what's it doing up a small talk. So you go over and you say something cool like, oh, what's the deal with your clairs? And I come over and start talking about CDs. What I'm saying is, right, if you were here, I think you'd be the king of the Germans.

Um, listen, I've never, you've hung out with Germans before. Yeah, I have. Yeah. I went on an ex, I went on a trip to Hungary as a student and I'm out with some Germans and I like them. Got on with them. Um, here's my question. Yeah.

Okay. So look again, we're in a situation now where we're presenting you and framing you as a very nice guy and me as a horrible prick right but there have been times no but there have been times when i okay i'll give you an example i find social i wouldn't say i'm anti-social i wouldn't say that you're brilliantly social no no but but i'll give an example i once at the edinburgh festival right was i think i might have told this story before i was walking out of the festival and i saw i won't name the people a group of comedians i knew quite well right i wouldn't say they're mates but i knew

them well enough to have a chat with them and if you bumped into them you'd stop and have a talk and blah blah blah and i was so i don't even know if anxious is the word i so didn't want to engage in that conversation or have a chat or stop until i went the other way and and i'm talking about a group of people that i actually like right and i don't know whether that's is that a problem i don't know man it's just sometimes i don't know the comedians, is that a problem? I don't know, man. It's just sometimes. Is the professional chatting to other comedians? I can't think of anything worse after time. No, I know, but I've just been like. And that's what I'm bearing on them. It's usually my show is absolute fucking shit and tanking.

And the last thing I wanted to do is talk to someone who's really, really successful. Yeah. But what I would say is, sometimes when I'm in a situation where a lot, cause like you're, you're very good at chatting at small talk or whatever. Sometimes if I, particularly when you get recognized, I get slightly nervous about, I'm not gonna be able to bring this.

Like, like I can't, I'm not good at it. Do you know what I mean? And like, um, I told you about, did I tell you about when I was, I i was getting a i think i was getting a birthday card or something for lisa or some sort of anniversary card or something i was in a shop and this woman came in and she said my husband and kid are out there we can't bring him into the shop do you mind coming out and having a photo so i went out to have a photo with them and i had a short like minute interaction with them and during that interaction she went oh you're not as chatty and as funny as you are on tv are you and i went oh oh sorry well i'm just sort of i didn't know what to do i didn't i didn't know what i didn't

even have anything to respond to in that moment i mean that's not on you man look let me say yeah like just to fit like to say like i think with you, this is the difference between me and you. In our personalities, I think that I would be like a hotel swimming pool. Great to get in, lots of people having fun, but there's no real depth to what I'm doing. It's like 120 metres at best. Well, you're doing yourself a disservice there. But then with you, I think you're more like a disservice sir but then with you i think you're more like you know like a proper sort of olympics room pool not a lot of people are getting in you all the time but

when they do they realize there's depth that it's a beautiful place to be and they're actually doing themselves well not a lot of not not a lot of people are getting it let me tell you something it's we need to put fucking christmas lights and free drinks around this pool mate absolutely nobody's i i don't know anyone who's spent time... I think whenever you... I've been with you a lot when you've seen other people. We've met people, and you always give people the time of day. And I think that, you know...

Look, I like to chat to people. I love people. But sometimes that's a curse. Like with Catherine, it drives Catherine mad. Yeah, you're very approachable. Like, you're constantly... You work almost everybody you come across. And I don't mean that in a cynical way.

I mean, when I'm out with you, just the level of chat is unreal. I've never, ever, ever spent time with somebody like that. It's great. I've always been like that. But it drives Catherine Madden. Genuinely. With the hotel hotel she's like why are you so

bothered about these Germans who you'll never see again why are you being so racist about these Germans why are you so

xenophobic I don't understand why they don't want to chat and why they don't want to laugh yeah I get that I get that

but you've got to remember you're sort of a different breed aren't you you're a southerner who's got sort of a northerner's way about him i think no that's probably one of the nicest things that's ever been said about me i do i do love i do i don't listen while we're generalizing about a group of people i fucking love northerners man i mean you know let me just tell you if if I'm anywhere in life, I hear a Norval accent. I'm buying a pint and walking over.

Yeah, well, I wouldn't absolutely wouldn't do that. But what I would say is you always, I don't know. I just love them. I love the crowds. I love like, you know, the audiences. I love chatting to them after the show. I'm sure there are pricks, you know, but like, I love Northerners. I'm a huge fan.

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Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in Pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at michigan.org We went to watch a USA England game in a real proper old school Grand Canarian bar. What a classic by the way.

Oh yeah, an awful game. But it's very much like the game we went to. like proper old school Gran Canarian bar yeah what a classic by the way yeah oh yeah an awful game a terrible game but it's very much like the game we went to in the Euros so I'm not getting too

dismayed it's very much like the but we took Grace it was her first experience of going to and there was a bunch of boys

from Barnsley who were quite quite a laugh but it was amazing watching her just clapping and just sort of getting into the singing and stuff.

She really enjoyed it. Oh, really? We left at halftime. I mean, not the football itself. The first, first football game I watched with Theo, he was a little baby. And I shouted so loudly when England scored, he just started crying.

I started to get nervous. I'd given him a traumatic early experience. He was never going to be able to watch football again. Lucky enough for us, it felt a little bit like the England team, you, Grace, were watching and didn't want anyone

getting too excited. So really, let's not forget. Yeah, let's not have any jeopardy here. What do you make of the World Cup? Are you enjoying it? I haven't... Well,

I was at a gig last night with Matt Ford and he was appalled about what I said about the World Cup to me, but I know, listen, I don't want to get into all of my issues with it being in Qatar or whatever, because everybody's talked about this. Yeah, my my another issue that turns out for me is it being in the winter in the middle of something I can't, I can't. I just can't get as excited about it. And, and, you know, like the proof of the pudding is in the eating, isn't it?

And so like, I'm just not as buzzing to watch the games or I'm just not making an appointment to view in the same way as I would if it was in the summer. Do you know what I mean? It's just like, uh, I dunno, I dunno what it is. I watched a Spain, I was at a gig last night and in between me going on and off, I watched, um, Spain, Germany. And, um, and it was like, on and off I watched Spain-Germany and it was like listen obviously

I love football but I'm just not as hyped for it as I normally am to be honest with you I don't know what it is really yeah to be fair

I went to watch I saw the Spain game at 7-0 I sat and watched it in a bar which was quite nice but yeah I don't think I've ever

cared less about a World Cup maybe if England started doing really well then it would change but at the moment even I don't think I've ever cared less about a World Cup maybe like if England started doing really well then it would change but at the moment even I don't know I just

yeah it doesn't feel you know I don't know for what reason you know obviously like yourself there's a lot of stuff I don't agree with

the Qatar the whole Qatar thing you know I don't I think it's it's actually showed the worst side of football I agree I agree

and FIFA's FIFA's response to it and the way they've been handling it has been absolutely rank. Do you know what I mean? I know this is not what the podcast is about, but it's just a fucking joke, man. It's just a fucking joke. It's only... And also, I mean, I don't want to name names,

but even looking at people I respect within the game, taking photos of stadiums or videos of stadiums going look wow what a spectacle this place is in you know when it's in the sort of dark and all the lights are on and they they know what's happened they know the sort of the stats of how many you know i don't want to get too into this because it's like you said it's not what we're into but i just find it disgusting i just think surely like you know that you know or are you just being paid just to basically be out there to say like yeah and i'm not talking about pundits by the way because pundits are there to do a job and i think that's a different thing completely yeah um and i've got friends who are pundits out there and that that's

about the football i'm talking about people who are talking about things off off the field and about to be trying to sort of make out that and talk about things you know oh yeah it's great over actually if you're over here and stuff like that and I just find that sort of yeah I find it quite hard to look at I just yeah I mean the truth the truth the truth of it is it's there now and it's happened what is amazing is that it got there in the first well i mean what's amazing is got there in the first place but what then what is then consequently amazing is that nothing happened to change it but then look people talk about the uh the fact that qatar is illegal to be homosexual in qatar i looked it up the list of countries that it's illegal to be homosexual in it's like it's

yeah i mean look it up loads loads like loads and countries that people haven't mentioned in this kind of you know it's we're talking like listen i i i think it's qatar is whatever it is and we've all got our issues with the world cup being there and it's, you know, there's, there's an argument that if I was a gay person and I was seeing how much my so-called heterosexual allies were putting that to one side to embrace his tournament, it'd be, you'd be disappointed the same way that if the, if the World Cup has been held in an openly racist country, how would I, you know, if Asian... It was Russia, it was the last one, so... Yeah, I mean, that's true, but, like, you sort of go,

how do I feel about that, do you know what I mean? I can understand why, as a gay person, it must be pretty upsetting, do you know what I mean? And, yeah, but then I looked it up, and, I mean, look, I'll look it up for you now. It's, like, a long list of countries, man, where it's legal to be homosexual I was surprised okay countries where it's illegal to be gay you ready yeah Afghanistan Algeria Antigua and Barbuda Bangladesh Barbados Bhutan Brunei Burundi Cameroon Chad Comoros Cook

Islands Dominica Egypt Eritrea a Swwatini, Ethiopia, Gambia, Ghana, Grenada, Guinea, Guyana, Iran, Jamaica, Kenya, Kiribati, Kuwait, Lebanon, Liberia, Libya, Malawi, Malaysia, Maldives, Mauritania, Mauritius, Morocco, Myanmar, Namibia, Nigeria, Oman, Pakistan, Occupied Palestinian Territory, Gaza Strip, Papua New Guinea, Qatar, St. Kitts and Nevis, St. Lucia, St. Vincent and the Grenadines, Samoa, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Sierra Leone, Singapore, Solomon Islands, Somalia, South Sudan, Sri Lanka, Sudan, Syria, Tanzania, Togo, Tonga, Tunisia, Turkmenistan, Tuvalu, Uganda,anda uzbekistan yemen zambia and zimbabwe it's you know it makes you feel so sad though don't it like i know i mean i don't know i don't

know i don't know how you know what i what that article that list doesn't tell you is how strictly that's enforced i mean it's yeah i mean but but anyway i was surprised the other thing that the thing for me is that, you know, I think for most of my, for still the bulk of my adult life, I was like a labourer on building sites. Yeah. So thinking of a lot of those things, how I got treated, like, you know, when you think that I'd have,

you'd have had to, if you were living there, that's what I'd have gone to do. You think like when you read about the conditions people were working in to go and earn a pound a note and stuff that they, I read an article the other day and it was actually so, honestly,

it's just heartbreaking. And it's just, people just went to try and earn a living and what they had to put up with and the conditions they were forced to work and forced to live in. Oh, that's awful.

It's so awful. And I think like, after reading something like that i find every time i sit and watch some millionaires kick around the football i find it quite hard to then yeah not think about that i'm very nervous tom yeah let me tell you this. I'm very nervous because we were just talking about this before we started recording. But as of yesterday, my Netflix special will be out. And I've realized, as excited as I am for that special to come out, and as long as I've been waiting for it to come out,

I find things coming out just so terrible. I just find it so cripplingly terrifying, man. I don't know. It's awful. It's the hardest. Mate, mate. I'm excited but also, I think there's part of me that prefer it if this job was like you just recorded and filmed the stuff and then it just got put away somewhere. Do you know what I mean? I think the best thing would be if you recorded

it and then it went somewhere that you didn't live or reside or anyone could get in contact with you. Yeah, like awood actor doing an advert for aftershave or whatever yeah yeah yeah which we've we've covered on this podcast yes no but it is is you know what is as well is it's like and we've talked about this before a number of times it's the few negative comments that really i don't think people know the impact they have. Like, I really don't. Well, they shouldn't have an impact, should they?

It's the truth of it. I mean, if you're putting stuff out to be... Some of the responsibility is on us, I think. Yeah, of course it is. So if you put art out, or whatever you want to call it, I don't consider what I do art, but if you put it out, you have to accept that it's not going to be for everybody.

I mean, you're not trying to make stuff for everybody, are you? So if people don't like it, you have to just accept that. But because stand-up is so... And also, to be honest with you, scripted work, because you put so much of yourself into it and you work so hard on it, it does sort of... It does get to you, doesn't it, if people don't like it?

But if people don't like it, people don't like it, what can you do? Do you know what I's just it's just one of those things but this is the thing that yeah but you have to just take it on the chin a little bit yeah you have to but also it is it's easy said than done to do that it's really easy to sort of just go like you know i see it on on other creatives and people who you know sort of said i know someone said saying horrible they're like we have to get tougher skin thicker skin to work in this business and you're like well no that's you know what i thought i think my thing and i've said this before and it's like i think

if you don't like saying you shouldn't have you shouldn't go really in on it do you know what i mean yeah it's difficult when you put stuff out as well as it's like i look at content i look at something like you said that artist and think i think you've got to put it out there and just go like this you're proud of it and no one should hopefully chink away that pride your pride is for the thing that you've created is you know resolute and that that that's you know and it's a brilliant bit well i mean like i saw you warming up that stuff and so you you know put it together and now i'm looking forward to sitting you know

with the family our family and watch it on Netflix I mean you know it's not it's quite sweary so you know

I'd say there's an age warning on that but thanks man I appreciate it Grace went Grace went Grace is at a time when we're just enjoying

swearing while we can yeah what time does it launch tomorrow I think it's like midnight. Oof, midnight tonight. I think. Midnight last night, midnight, yeah, yeah, yeah. Midnight Monday.

Yeah, midnight Monday, yeah, yeah. Oof. Are you going to wait up till midnight for it to drop just to see that? Really? No, no, no. That's a big moment, bro. No, I'm going to wake up in the morning

and see all the people, see all the comments about it and just feel really depressed probably. That's my most likely outcome. People getting up and watching it, eating it with their frosties. Eating it up. Yeah, I don't know if it's breakfast viewing. Okay. Let's do some emails. Once again, apologies to The Swan for suggesting that she didn't listen to the swan for um suggesting that she didn't watch the podcast listen to the podcast

uh right this is uh this is an email from the smashasaurus so you remember contacted us a while ago oh my god i really am not awake uh dear wolf owl and swan you may or may not remember me from an email i sent to you in case you forget i am the 11 year old now 12 kid from australia a few updates i recently ran 15 kilometers under one hour oh my god wow jesus christ oh 12 miles are you the flash that's fucking insane under an hour i feel bad i swore that but that is insane that's amazing well it's a bit late for that he listens to the podcast regularly and by the way i noticed in my i swear so much on this like can we do a clean one next week it's too late we can try but yeah we can try let's fucking try um a few updates i recently ran 15 kilometers in an hour and i've

done well in some high level running competitions i recently got a new treadmill for my birthday why didn't we suggest a treadmill when he asked us about this every day i spend about four hours on that thing although i do go outside sometimes i solve both my problems and made a running plan meaning i don't get injured and my parents usually know where i am actually know where i am whilst writing this email i'm currently on the treadmill this is an advice question but have you guys ever got into long distance running kind regards to smashasaurus sent from their ipad they're on the ipad while they were running it's quite i mean that that in itself is impressive thank you smashasaurus, sent from their iPad. They're on the iPad while they were running. It's quite neat. I mean, that in itself is impressive.

Thank you, Smashasaurus, for getting back in touch with us. Tom, long-distance running. Could you answer the Smashasaurus, please? Smashasaurus is an absolute champion, isn't he? He's a legend. He genuinely is. Like, wow, that is an insane amount of running in an hour. I know.

I know. I used to love running as a younger man I used to enjoy a little run I can't now because of my knees you know what I've got into

at the villa I'm staying at they've got a peloton I've never been on a peloton before yeah how did you find it I'm addicted yeah I want to live

four times you know who you need in your life who Cody Rigsby really Cody Rigsby is just so funny. He's just so funny, man.

I love him. Long distance, but you know what? I now look at people. We drove past the guy yesterday, and he had no top on, and he had an incredible body. It was a beautiful body. And he was running. Yeah.

And I looked at him. I mean, I couldn't do that for a start. I couldn't run topless. But I I looked at him. I mean, I couldn't do that for a start. I couldn't run topless. But I did look at him thinking, man, it must be just nice just to literally just hear a pair of kicks and a pair of shorts and just getting out there on the open road and just letting it be. I think running must be one of the best things in the world, just getting out and doing it.

Well, as you know, I was into running for a bit. Yeah. And I still do it on occasion. in the world just get out and doing it well as you know i was into running for a bit yeah um and i still do it an occasion um i find i'm i i've got to say smashasaurus i find running on a treadmill incredibly difficult uh because like when you're running outside you get a change of scenery running on a treadmill i i can't do it unless i've downloaded something onto my phone to watch i i tell you what i've got into cardio-wise recently. It's incredibly boring.

But it's that stair climber. Yeah, that's meant to be really good for you. Oh, my God. But the problem is, is I can do it for ages. Well, I can do it for ages. What an insane brag. But I'm happy to do it. But you can climb up infinite stairs.

Yeah, yeah, but that's the trouble. You know what that is, right? That's where Peloton have nailed it. Yeah you can climb up infinite stairs. Yeah, yeah, but that's the trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, you know what that is, right? That's where Peloton have nailed it. Yeah. I think you're right. I cycle, what, 12 miles instead of on a Peloton. And left every second of it. Hold on, hold on.

What do you mean you cycle? Did you not do a class? No, no, no, no. I just cycle miles. What? What do you mean? That's how I roll. What do you mean?

And then what do you do? Do you put the scenery thing on? Yeah. Oh, my God. You're like the only person in the world that I've ever fucking met that does that. Well, that's how I roll. I roll through a desert landscape. It was amazing.

My God. So what, you just, instead of doing any of the classes, you just put it up and just ride, and then you just rode along? Yeah, that's right how much weight how much weight have you lost by the way because you took a photo of yourself in the lift the other day and you looked absolutely trim as fuck uh i don't i don't think i've lost necessarily a load i think i have lost i think i've probably lost about stone or something but i think i've just got rid of my my stomach look i genuinely was like i realized quite unhealthy when grace was born like i was

so fucking like and i like whenever we talk about our uh body dysmorphia we'll get people whatever you but you'll get a few people saying you know they get offended that yes you know we're talking about ourselves in a negative way by being overweight but i keep like i can only say i feel i literally felt disgusting like i put on what and then even like i can only say i feel i literally felt disgusting like i put on what and then even before i came out here i then lost a bit of weight then i before i came out here i was probably i was eating so many takeaways and what i would joke about here i got to a point where i was looking in the mirror and i actually just just hated looking at myself i hated walking past me yeah whereas now you've moved to the thing where what at breakfast

you only stop at what six or seven stations and get different elements for your breakfast yeah but now you know what

I will never be able to not eat like the food like junk food or like have bacon or fucking hash browns for breakfast

have fried chicken I love I'm always like I can't be one of when I talk to someone and they go oh I had a curry last night and they went for the healthy version like, I can't be one of those. When I talk to someone and they go, oh, I had a curry last night and they went for the healthy version.

Like, no, I have to have bhajis, I have to have samosas, I have to have the creamiest sauce that's going, right? But all of this stuff is then I just look at it and go, well, to eat these things and to have those things, I love a cold pint. I love a pint. But I have to do, I have to work then as hard as I can

to maintain a body and maintain like my health so that's why I'm like right well at least for an hour

or two a day that has to be like time to do weights boxing whatever else peloton ride on a peloton go for a long walk

that then is the healthy side of it yeah that's the only way that it's going to work. Yeah. I went to the cinema yesterday and I watched Black Panther 2 with the family. I've got to say,

going to the cinema with your family is one of my favourite things. I just love it. I love it. Did you go to everyone? Full? Everybody. Full Rangus?

Full crew. That's amazing. Full crew. That makes me happy. Actually, genuinely makes me happy if the thought of you all just sitting there eating popcorn and sitting together. Yeah, well, that's the thing I was going to say.

I ordered and finished a large sweet and salted popcorn. Yeah. Do you know how many calories are in that? I looked it up afterwards. What, 500, 700? 1,200 calories. Fuck. Wow.

Wow. Wow, son. That is a lot, right? Yeah, but did you enjoy every bite? Yeah, I did. I also had an icy raspberry drink with it as well, so that's probably... I probably did my daily calorie count. Yeah, but then that's what I mean, though. But you look amazing

at home, but you know now that you just got to put it in and... Yeah, but I'm not saying... That's what I mean. You can't live your life. But then I also know that my life will be significantly shorter if I don't take care of myself. So Smash the Sewers has got a lot out of it. Well, there you go. Smash the Sewers.

It's a really uplifting email, and we've managed to get super dark about it, as is always the way on The Wolf for now. And no doubt the next email will be something serious, and we'll make it trivial and not understand the gravity of the situation. So there you go.

That's what you get with this podcast. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today.

Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis.

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? Order up for Rebelsis. Escape ST line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola Spice. Nice. What's it taste like?

It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Dear Wolf, Owl, Swan, Cat, and your lovely broods. This is from The Wobbly Worm.

Please bear with me. I don't want to be too morose or down, and I'd love to be kept anonymous. I want to start with a thank you. Your lighthearted, loving, and supportive friendship is so inspiring. It's really helped me and a lot of other people through a difficult and shitty pandemic. I'm a midwife in a busy London hospital, big up yourself, and along with an incredible team have had an extremely intense and hard few years. We've all had experiences that will stay with

us forever. I'm not sure how to articulate them or how to feel about them at the moment. This is where I would love your advice. Deep down, I absolutely love my job. To be part of such a special part of a family's life is unexplainable. I love every birth I'm at, and after almost 10 years in the job, I still find them all amazing. Despite this, I'm burnt out. I have a pit in my stomach at the thought of going in every day. I'm not myself at home, and feel constantly anxious at the thought of going back in for another incredibly intense, long, and emotionally draining day. There's not enough of us, and this is impacting not only midwives, but more importantly, all of the families that we care for who deserve better. I always knew I'd work in the NHS. I feel

very passionate about how lucky we are to have healthcare for free whenever we need it and I truly do love being a midwife. It makes me very proud but the impact it's having on my personal life is just not sustainable. I have a partner who is so supportive I can't even explain. He ran me baths, cooked all my meals, brought happiness into our home and sat and listened to me during lockdown when I didn't think I could go on but that's not what i want in the long run for either of us coming to the end of a sabbatical that we've both wanted to do for years i'm so much happier and feel like i'm living in less tunnel vision ever in my adult life but i can't travel forever my question to you is how much is a career worth it's impacting your personal life

do i sit with my career knowing it's it isn't conducive to a positive home life or do i stop being a midwife knowing that i won't ever have a job that brings me the same buzz and satisfaction i'll be happier at home it's maybe a bit too deep to share and i totally understand if so big love to you have no idea how lovely you both are from the wobbly worm first of all can i thank the swan for thinking that we've got it within us to address this email but's, let's give it our best attempt. Um, Wobbly Worm, uh, as someone who's just, uh, had a child and had like proudly, you know, had like a question born in, uh, in an NHS hospital, like the, the role of the midwife within that, like, obviously the, the question being born was a different situation with, with it being a surrogate birth that honestly,

that the, the role that the midwife plays is just so, so incredible. Like, just that person, and her understanding of the situation we were in, and I can't even, like, make me emotional thinking about how incredible and the big part that she played in all of that. It was amazing. And, like, it never for a minute felt like any no yes we were being judged or we you know because it's such a weird scenario but weirdly actually talking about the nhs this week we've had um i wasn't really gonna talk about this but anyway

like catherine got quite ill last week and like uh so she like she collapsed twice and um oh my god we had to like call like a doctor and we got we got the um like so basically doctor came to our apartment and then then the ambulance came and then she was taken to hospital but along with like and the people were amazing they're really really caring like they were like fantastic but literally at the apartment when the doctor came before the actually could katherine kilbert put in the ambulance i was given a bill for like 400 euros i had to pay before she got into the ambulance and then when the ambulance dropped to the hospital the guy pulled me away me and grace because grace was with us pulled me and

grace away to give me a bill for 200 euros for her to get in the ambulance and then when we get to the hospital we had to pay 500 euros before someone could even see her and then when she was leaving she had to pay I think another 600 euros before she could even leave like the next morning right you're talking nearly 2 000 euros yeah we've got holiday insurance and whatever and we're in a lucky position where we had the money to pay that but But what really just hit home to me is I've grown up in, both my mum and my sister, a lot of my family, my aunt and uncle all work for the NHS. And I'm so, so proud that they've done that.

But it makes you realise just how incredible it is. And also, it's never lost on me in the fact that for you know in the cost of living crisis in the situation we're in how how important the nhs is and the worry that i have of that not being a thing for the what for the wider part of our country it genuinely sort of sickens me it scares me to death like that we could be in a situation where that that becomes a norm yeah like having to sort of like literally standing with your your year-old daughter was you have no i didn't know it was wrong katherine she gets wheeled into the hospital and i'm standing outside and someone's

going like you own this you owe this and then you're you're trying to be compassionate you're trying to be worried but all you've got is bills in front of you. And if you haven't got a means to pay those bills, then it becomes a really, really serious and a really, really scary situation. So shout out to the NHS. And look, knowing how hard everyone there has worked, and, you know, I can't even fathom what all of you have had to go through. I think you, and it, again, saddens me, breaks my heart that, you know,

what a year and a half ago we were all outside and our doorsteps clapping and praising and saluting everyone who worked for it, and now it just feels forgotten. And it feels like, you know, you've got us through probably the darkest days a lot of us will ever go through and that that you should have been celebrated more and that's a really sad thing and yeah so i think if the if the job you do brings you joy and and speaking personally i think like you know every you know every midway i've only got one chance i only come and get to contact one but that that person will always be a massive part of

my life grace's life and it all you know i'll always remember them with with such affection and you you must have had done that to hundreds of families so shout out to you and i don't know any other job or anything else that where you could do that every day and bring such happiness to people and be a part of such a happy day so shout yourself um maybe you need a break. Maybe you need a little time away. But it's easy for me to say sitting where I am because I know that probably the option of actually having a break and having a bit of time off isn't necessarily a thing that's just that easy.

So, yeah, I don't know. I just want to say that you're an amazing human being. Keep doing what you're doing, young. Wobbly Worm, I would echo Tom's sentiments. Thank you so much for what you've done, and it's an incredible job that you do. And I can't even imagine what you've been through. So on behalf of the world for now, thank you so much.

On behalf of everybody, I'm sure everybody feels the same way. Thank you so much. Above everybody. I'm sure everybody feels the same way. Thank you so much for everything you do. With that said, it's quite a difficult, it's difficult to know what the right thing is to say here. You're doing an amazing job and it would be great for you to carry on doing that. But at the same time, I guess you've got to think about your personal cost to you

and if you're going to be able to do that in the long term. know i guess you've got to think about your personal cost to you and if you're going to be able to do that in the long term it sounds like you're not um and i know that the situation of working for the nhs is a stressful one and it's a difficult position to be in and it sounds like you've had a really tough time it sounds like you've got a really great partner though um so look your question is how much is a career worth if it's impacting your personal life it's a very personal question that and i think only you really know the answer to that do you think look is there a way in which you can carry on doing being a midwife and maybe withdrawing from it a bit or doing it less, I don't know financially

if that would even work or even if that's a possibility, assuming that's not the case, then the truth is you've got to make a, you've got to make a personal decision on that and that is what you've got to balance is, and I'm speaking as a complete ignorant here, obviously, as I do on every issue, but like, whether that is, if you carry on doing, uh, what you're doing, are you going to be able to have a happy life at home? And is your partner going to be able to do that forever? And is it possible that now that the, we're sort of hopefully at the worst of the pandemic, that things are going to get a little bit easier and it's something that's going to be manageable or do you want to do something else it'll make your personal life a lot easier but you are not going to be doing the thing that you're obviously so driven to do and you're also going to find yourself with a horrible bit of FOMO where

you're just thinking back to your time as a midwife and how much you miss it and how you wish you were doing something that was so sustained that was so like such an amazing job to be doing that is a really personal thing and we can't really i can't really give you a definitive answer on that neither of us can but what i would say is the fact that you're thinking about it means that it needs a bit of thinking about and i would sit if i was in your position i would sit down with my other half and i would say exactly what you've said to us uh to them um and i would just you know even if it comes down to something as basic as like making a list of pros and cons and working out and sort of hypothesizing what your lives would be if you weren't a midwife anymore what that would mean

and you might come to decision that actually do you know what we're going to find a way to get through this i really love being a midwife on a carry-on or you might go look it's time to it's time to do something else and that would obviously be a real shame for the nhs it'd be a real shame uh in general but i just think you've got to assess whether the personal cost is too great you know and i feel loathe to say that because i don't want to encourage people to leave such an amazing job but at the same time you're a person as well so look it definitely needs some reflection and for you to think about it um and i wish you the very best of luck in that decision it's not an easy one um but but once again thank you so much for the brilliant work you do it's an incredible thing you do um and i hope you don't take that for granted how special and amazing

it is that you, everything you do. So thank you so much for your email. Take care. Uh, good luck. Uh, okay. Should we do one more? Well, let's do one more. Okay.

Hello. This is from Callum, the koala. There's a photo with this, right. There's a photo with this. Right. There's a photo with this. I'll try and describe the photo to you. Hello. Massive fan of the podcast.

I was hoping you could both help me out with the situation I have. I work with somebody who, although has a heart of gold, lacks zero thought for anybody else. He walks around with his ass out all day. That's the photo I've got here. It's a guy with his sort of, he's topless with his trousers. I would say just roughest of it. He's topless at work. Yeah. He's in like his sort of, he's topless with his trousers. I would say just rough estimate. He's topless at work.

Yeah, he's in like some sort of workshop. He's topless and he's showing, I would say, rough estimate, four inches of ass crack. He refuses to wear underwear or a belt. He says they're uncomfortable. Me and the rest of my colleagues have to deal with the sight of his ass that looks like a piece of chewed up chewing gum. Also, with the seating arrangement in the canteen,

we sit next to each other. Every time we have breakfast, he turns to talk to me. It's like a game of dodgeball up chewing gum also with the seating arrangement in the canteen we sit next to each other every time we have breakfast he turns to talk to me it's like a game of dodgeball with me and the food flying out of his mouth the lack of teeth he has i feel i should really say something to him but i don't want to come across in a way that may hurt his feelings i doubt what he does this on purpose please help and give some guidance on what to do thanks for your help callum the koala well um it's hard this one isn't it very hard because i i sometimes you know when you worry that you could i could be this guy sounds a little bit like me but he's got a problem look number one i don't understand why he's topless at work yeah i don't get it i mean the photo looks like it looks like they work somewhere you definitely shouldn't be topless at work. Yeah, I don't get it. I mean, the photo looks like, it looks like they work somewhere

you definitely shouldn't be topless. Yeah, so, and so, if he's topless with his bum hanging out, I don't know. My worry is that is Callum and the other guys

egging him on to do this thing? Like, you know, if you're genuinely concerned about it for him, for his own, like, embarrassment, his own, you know, you're worried that sort of people are digging out and behind his back and being mean about him then yeah by all means i

think uh pull him up you know say to him you know have a have a candid conversation where you sort of mention the fact that you know you know maybe he should invest in some pants and about as uncomfortable maybe a pair of tracksuit bottoms with a drawstring because you know it's probably just a little bit you know maybe having somebody actually sort of is a bit more superior sort of just having a gentle word with him about that not being the right attire for work uh i think when it comes to him sort of spitting all over you um at lunch he's having a conversation i think uh it's just a difficult one because there's a part of me that thinks, you know, is this guy just a bit of a figure of ridicule that you're all sort of joking about?

I don't know. And you have to be careful that it's not that. And if, yeah, like I say, if it's come from a compassionate place and you actually genuinely are worried about him, then I think, yeah, you put an arm around him and you have a little just bit of a chat about it and sort of, you say about it, if he's too stuck in his ways,

this is the way he's going to be. And if it really affects you, you're having a conversation where you get so excited and he spits all over you, maybe sit a little bit further away from him. But, yeah, I sometimes worry that it feels a bit like it's not necessarily about him and how he feels. It might be a little bit about yourself. And if it's more about you it's not necessarily about him and how he feels it might be a little bit about yourself and if it's more about you and how you feel about him then you know be polite be

decent um but probably uh yeah just distance yourself a little bit or not to think too much about it um i sort of uh i can feel tom's struggle with this email and i'm having the same struggle is that i don't know whether this guy is somebody that you feel sorry for and want to help out or some if somebody that you find it's funny that how he is do you mean which is look i don't know the situation but the way you've written the email is you've kind of made it quite humorous and i don't know if you've done that because you're writing into the podcast and i mean arguably it's not been that funny today, but it's a comedy podcast. So, um, you've, you've, you've, you've tried to be lighthearted with it, but I might, I have the same concerns as Tom.

I'm slightly worried about this guy because I just feel like he might be a figure of fun for everybody else at work. So look, this is what I think you should do. Assuming the very best in you and that you do want to help this guy out, I think you need to have a chat with him. And I think you need to explain to him that him walking around with his top off, him walking around with his ass hanging out and him sort of spitting as he talks. Obviously, you don't say it as bluntly as that.

But I think if you care about this guy, you need to have a genuine chat with him. And it's not going to be an easy chat, but you just say to him, look, this is a situation, man. How can we help resolve this? And like Tom said,

you know, you can get, there must be solutions. Do you know what I mean? I think just help him out. I think just help him out. And I don't think you do it in a way that you publicize it. I think you do it in a way that you take him to one side and you have a quiet chat with him and you sort of help him turn things, not turn things around, but you help him sort of

sort himself out a little bit. And if he's not receptive to that, then let him live his life. Do you know what I mean? And, and you kind of stay away from him if you find it distasteful. But, um, I think, you know, what I'd hate is to know that there's a guy wandering around. Who's like, everybody's ripping the shit out of behind his back. That's a horrible thing. Do you know what I mean? And he's got no idea. He does have an idea and he doesn't know why he's not making any mates at work.

Despite being friendly and whatever. I think, you know, the right thing to do is to try and help him out in that because we all have our little foibles. And if I had, if I had an issue, you know,

I've had to have people. One of the things that i have is i look like i don't want to be anywhere and it makes people feel like i don't want to be hanging out with them and like i've had people have a word for me about it and um listen have i corrected my behavior probably arguably not but at least i know do you know what i mean so i think that with regards to to this guy i think the decent thing to do would be to take him aside and have a word with him and hopefully sort of help him fit into work a little bit more. Because it feels like just the gist,

you've not been horrible in your email, but the gist of it, you know, me and my colleagues have to deal with the sight of his arse that looks like a piece of chewed up chewing gum. It's like a game of dodgeball with me and the food flying out of his mouth. All of that suggests that he's a bit of a figure of fun. And that's not a nice place to be. So, you know, I would advise you or urge you to do the decent thing and help him out. So there you go.

Yeah. That's my take. Tom. Yeah. A very subdued 7am version of the podcast there. It feels like we've been deeper than sometimes we would have. Yeah, yeah. We've ventured into talking about some things

that we've got no business on to the level of information and intelligence that we've got, but we did it. So, Tom, could you do us a favour? Yeah. Take us out of this piece. Yeah. Clive and Julia were walking through some beautiful National Trust gardens

as they walked past some really, really nice pink flowers. Julia said, oh, these are really pretty. And she went to grab one and pull it away. And Clive said, what are you doing? And she said, oh, I really like this flower. I'm just going to pick it up. I just want to take it home so I can put it in some water and look at it. And Clyde says, yo, if you really want to admire its beauty,

if you really want to savor it, leave it be and just pour some water on it and let it grow where it is. The thing about life is sometimes you can just bowl through it, always looking just to grab the thing you want or just pull away the thing you want. But actually, if you want to really, really harvest something, if you really, really want to enjoy something, you need to water it and let it grow.

True love is letting something be itself and grow organically. Your people find out love. Wow. That was really nice. Really nice. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening to another episode.

Oh shit as well. There is some Christmas merch that's going to drop on the site. Oh crap. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. We've got some Christmas merchandise coming out. Shit.

on the side. Oh, crap, yeah. Sorry, yeah. We've got some Christmas merchandise coming out. Shit. We've got some... On the back of

what's been quite a bawdy sort of... If anything about what you've listened to today makes you feel like you want to buy some merchandise, there's a Christmas

merchandise dropping on the website very soon, so make sure you check that out. It's pretty good gear, actually. Yeah, it is, yeah.

The other thing I would say, Oh yeah, sorry. And then finally, uh, the song to take us out. I've been listening to a lot of old school kind of garage grime, UK hip hop and stuff.

And I came across a group that I hadn't listened to for ages called the Mitchell brothers. Do you remember the Mitchell brothers? Yes, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So I heard a song by them, but I'd forgotten how good it was. It's called Routine Check about the police it's got a little bit of K on it so JT

could you take us out with the Mitchell Brothers Routine Check Wolf and Owlers enjoy your week we'll see you next time thank you so much

for listening bye guys peace peace Peace. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. Mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

Thank you.