Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 26: Punctual Partners & Bogey Pride

Episode Date: December 28, 2022

For our final show of the year, we’re talking… Instagram spam, punctual partners (or not?), physical hang-ups and bogey pride, plummeting fart rates, night-time driving, youthful success and overly bored kids. Plus, some advice on managing friendships after having a baby and learning to love your yourself just as you are. Have a very happy New Year and we’ll see you in 2023! For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Yum. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Yeah. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws?

Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang

of crows, fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing, they stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing, dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff, a puff and a, expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog it's the last one of the year it's the last one of the year well for now for now we hope you've enjoyed the year with the wolf and owl i love wolf i love your singing vibes i love it you're so cute you're a delicate little flower can i tell you something i've got a little treat for you so i had to post up a promo video for the new year's eve party i saw it i saw it bro just watched it yeah so it's a little clip of me

being party rom yeah anyway what i don't understand about instagram my instagram has got it's got an sti basically it's riddled so as soon as i post let me read you the comments i've got on this post right waking up every day to see my withdrawal successfully notifications on my mail is the best thing i've ever wished for myself mate if i'd seen linda long ago i'd be a millionaire now my anger's already boiling and then this is i've got an offer you can't refuse can you tell me about it some woman in her underwear why am i alone with my looks god bless you ma'am you indeed have god sent to planet earth believed in her until i got my fifth payout what the fuck is going on it's these fucking sneaky little pricks who who like that they go on they're commenting on everyone's

things with their with these money-making schemes it makes me fucking drives me fucking wild with anger because you know what it is like it's but they're they're fucking trying the cost of living crisis people need money they're literally trying that on everyone's fucking posts i know no it's safe anymore i'm just trying to take people's money for new year's eve i mean i'm just trying to do just at least you're giving something back you get drunk wrong fucking leather i don't know what would be dressed as like you know this mega party that you've got it's a madness you're literally like you're becoming like the sort of coolest bean that's knocking around bro you were looking for a name there weren't you couldn't get one one didn't come didn't come to you we've had we've had the briefest pre normally tom and i chat for what i

would say 15 20 minutes yeah uh before we actually start recording um and most of that is probably stuff that's more suitable for podcast content than what we actually do but today we're very brief because well because we were late in my well yeah cuz Katherine good Katherine said let's get a wit get up early I said I've got the podcast so she said I just want to go to Jim quickly and then literally she went to Jim I said I remember what the podcast that I am and she was like yeah cool and then she came in twenty past eight saying she forgot I had the podcast. So, yeah, it just shows how much she listens to me. What was your response to that?

How did you, like, do you get, what's your vibe? Do you get angry? Not really angry. You know what? I didn't get angry with that. I got angry with the fact that I came into the garage to record. It's pissing down with rain. All the wires got caught up in the door handle.

I nearly dropped my laptop. That stuff drives me wild. But if i'm honest with you i love all that i love all that when it happens to somebody else i love all that yeah but yeah i mean but when it happens to you there's a hand to the gods going oh for freaking christ's sake there we go four minutes in i don't um i don't't know we're not even four minutes in who cares do you get annoyed with Lisa if she did something like that

or do you are you like do you get would you say to her come on like as Catherine would say if I did that Catherine would go

you're taking a piss here well actually Lisa's got a thing where so first of all I have to appreciate the fact that we've got three kids and lisa's they've all

got like they've got 97 clubs a week between them so i can't really get too annoyed if lisa forgets that i've got something on particularly as i'm not very good at communicating it the thing that she does get annoyed about is and i think this is slightly unfair if i'm being honest is that um if i've got to go somewhere to a gig or something like that and she runs late from coming back she gets annoyed if i'm sat at the door with my bag ready to go well like you sit on the bag or basically we've got like a little so as you come into the house there's like the little cloak bit i've seen your seating area when you come into the house, there's like the little cloak bit. I know, I've seen your seating area when you come into your house. Yeah, and then you've got a little seat to put your shoes on.

It's essentially like a train station waiting room. Anyway, sometimes I'll be sat there just waiting. What? You sit waiting? That's insane. What, you just sit in the... Well, I'm not just sitting looking i'm not just sitting looking into the middle distance i'm just sat on my phone ready to go do you know what i mean and i think she feels that that is a passag way of suggesting you're a bit like like a keen

labrador when she's getting home just sort of a little bit except i don't greet her i just sort of uh she comes in and i go fucking hell look at my watch a little bit kicked your head and then i head out and then she'll go, sorry, I'm a bit late. And I go, don't worry. Like that, when actually I do want her to worry quite deeply about it. I have the same problem in the fact that because of the nature of our jobs,

I'm always very conscious that you'll get an hour or two later than you were supposed to finish. So, yeah, I always try and be quite understanding yeah but i that you know what things i don't the things that grate me are the little things in life they really fucking i hate you know what i hate cables sorry fucking load is it am i at your tour show what's going on thanks for plugging the tour um actually tickets are on sale sorry let's plug the tour actually

so it's on sale now right underdog yeah underdog on bigtomdavis.com thank you I'm slightly disappointed you didn't consult me on it at all bearing in mind that you know yeah but then also you dropped the coolest poster of 2023

the rest of us are just fucking playing for second best now well do you mean the poster where I couldn't face having a photo of me on the poster again so I just fucking playing for second best now well do you mean the poster where i couldn't face having a photo of me on the poster again so i just asked somebody to draw me yeah you say that but it's fucking absolutely sick it's you smashing through the smashing through almost smashing through a poster yeah that wasn't that wasn't my that was jamie mccalvey who's uh uh an incredible it's really cool yeah. Yeah. But it got to the point where I thought I was going to have

to do a photo shoot. You know what I love as well is like, you're looking in such sick shape at the moment. It's almost like you used that poster as inspiration

to look like a fucking absolute superhero. Because I still can't fathom, oh, fathom. There we go. I still can't get my... A little call back to the old drum cap.

Anyway, go on. I still can't get my noodle around how good you look. That's very kind of you to say. Hey, man, you look really, really good. Thank you. You too. You too. You too do.

Oh, no. You do too. You know, the thing as well is the beard is looking shiny. Are you out of that? Are you going out? Actually, I'm glad you mentioned this, because I'm not sure about this at all okay

this is quite it's it's slightly fuller than it i've had it in the past that's the nice christmas vibe though you let it go a little bit yeah

do you trim your own beard i do yeah when it's back you know i'm really debating at the moment how long to go when i go back

now it's growing back i'm thinking not too long i'm like i quite like this sort of like unshaven vibe also shout out by the way um to the general dentist who's got in touch for about a visit line i'm looking forward to that because my teeth my teeth are genuine you know when you get a little bit like think like i've got such a thing about them now like katherine's like you don't even smile properly in pictures yeah do you know that the problem is is that once you become fixated so for example i'll just show you here can you see that teeth there's like sitting back and the rest like yeah yeah so i um i can't imagine that many people even acknowledge it but

once i became once i became fixated on it oh, it's all I think about in pictures. I just do a big cheesy grin. Speaking of things on your face, I had an absolutely horrendous experience yesterday. Oh no. So I went to do the radio show, the, uh, for the love of hip hop.

Yeah. And we were doing it, we're doing it in studio at the moment. And with a view to, I don't know, I'm telling all this detail, but with a view to me doing it live at some point. Um,

so we pre-record them currently. Anyway, I went to BBC. So as you know, when you go to the BBC building, you have to get your bag checked and you're not allowed in until somebody comes down to get you, et cetera, et cetera. So Rafe, the exec, came down to get me. I had a chat with him in the lift.

I went upstairs. I went inside, said hello to everybody. And then I said, I'm just going for a piss. Went in for a piss. Had the longest, most attention-grabbing booger just swinging from my nose. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I just thought, they all of them.

It's like I've gone in to show everybody before I go to the toilet. Do you know what I mean? Maybe society, we should be more proud of bogeys and we should just lose the stigma of them well I'm thinking about just I'm thinking the problem is is that my nostril hair

is too long mate I had mine done the other day it was a blessing when you had it done how do you mean you had it done waxed

waxed you know when they put the wax up your nose yeah have you ever done the home kit yeah mate don't fuck with that shit

I've got some in my moustache that is that is exactly what happened to me absolutely awful so bad yeah they give you that little paper mustache don't they to cover it doesn't work you know it's a real but i'll tell you what mate when i love getting that it's one of my favorite i love that when they burn your ear like do the stuff on your ears as well it's such a vibe man um i think the anticipation before they pull the thing out is

pretty big isn't it oh yeah yeah yeah and they build it up quite a lot as well don't they they build it up quite a lot but it's really gonna hurt and it doesn't really hurt as much i mean at the moment i've got so much hair up there i think i could probably go three or four times and then it would start hurting because it was at the moment my head there's so much hair up my nose this is really disgusting but um thank you for that just leaning up to the camera there um this is really disgusting but when i pull the thing out yeah so you know so basically if people don't know you get these home kits it's like a little cotton bud but it's just plastic you put the wax on the end of it you jam them into your nostrils

and then you leave them to dry and then just as you feel like they couldn't possibly come out you have to pull them out as hard as you can. Yeah. And I become fascinated with how many hairs are in the air. Oh, mate, same. I think you... It's so addictive.

It's like watching a fire. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's absolutely incredible. You kind of want, you know, when the guy pulls them out, you kind of want to take them home to show people.

Yeah. I had no mind keep their tonsils or keep a gallstone or something like that maybe that's what we should be like with bogeys though so we should we should like use them like jewelry or like like you know back in the day when people like killed a woolly mammoth if you walked into that place and you owned the bogey moment you walked up and then people got a booger look then people go, you've got a boogie. You went, look at that fucking beauty. Look at that. I just went in the mirror.

I know that you all noticed it. I just noticed it myself. Just wanted to say like, very proud of this guy. I had an opportunity to get rid of it. Didn't. Yeah. Because I like it actually.

Should we make a show? Yeah. And in all of your TV shows, you always have a big bogey. Have a booger. A bat in the cave. Yeah. That's a really radical move isn't it i wonder

if i could yeah but you know what what would be insane right is like three months down the line you're sitting watching the kadashians with lise right and kim kadashian's got a massive bogey in her nose and chloe's like oh my god that's a sick bogey and she's like oh yeah i know i'm so proud of it there's this guy romesh reaganathan over in the uk he's like the stellar guy for bogeys he's always got bogeys in his nose you know it literally becomes a phenomena why are they why are they so embarrassing they are so embarrassing bogeys yeah but this is a trouble it's like anything in it it's like if you take their power away if you turn around it's like you you disable their fucking power and go right okay you little mug you think you're gonna fucking fuck with my day and how

people perceive me you're a part of me now mate and then you start fucking glorifying them i guarantee you bogey when you need a bogey you won't be able to get one yeah i wonder if we get to a point where people start cultivating them as in that they're you know like they sort of start twisting it and trying to lengthen it out oh nice i'm like really trying to get it get something going or maybe plait them oh yeah or you know what it's like you get someone who gets loads of but who's a known bogey grower just sit like because some people won't get any there's people i can think of now who'd never get like david beckham's ever had a bogey grower, just sit like, because some people won't get any, there's people I can think of now, who'd never get, like David Beckham's never had a bogey in his life.

No. But Beckham's looking around going, fucking hell, I really want to get a bogey in my nose. Right? So out of nowhere, he basically starts fucking buying bogeys off, bogey fucking growers.

There'll be, it'll be the sort of thing that like, it'll end up, blokes will be buying them off. I imagine they're already buying, there are probably blokes out there that are buying, they're women making their living off selling bogeys to perverts. I've got no doubt about it.

They're already selling farts, aren't they? Who buys a fucking fart? I know that people have talked to death about that. But also, surely, like, once you fart it in the jar, you get, like, what, two sniffs of it, and then it's gone? That's what I think. That's what I'm wondering. It's like, I mean, how much is...

Unless you stick those things in the top and use it's gone. That's what I think. That's what I'm wondering. Unless you stick those things in the top and use it like a diffuser. Just sort of gradually spreads through the room. You want a blowback on this fart? Oh, wow. I caught a bit of your bad breath in there.

I don't really smell the fart. I can just smell your breath, your halitosis. I've become increasingly paranoid about my breath, actually. Mate, yeah, I know. It's a horrible thing. I've got chewing gum with me all the time. And then even after I have a chewing gum, I'm not convinced it's done anything.

Let me just be absolutely crystal clear. I brush my teeth twice a day. Same, same, same, same. I'm obsessed with that. But I'm still i'm still very very paranoid and i think i'm paranoid because i've not as you know i'm hypersensitive to bad breath yeah i know you are yeah which worries me because i worry about it all the time this is one of the worst like uh i was at the recording of a show about a year and

a half ago right yeah and one of the execs came down, started talking to me, right? Had a good chat. And about an hour later, they came back down to a chat, and then they gave me these fucking chewing gums. They're like, I can't remember the name. They're like C12s or something. Like, it's a fucking famous brand. And she was just like, these are really, really strong.

I love these. Yeah, I've had these before. Trying to sell them. And I was like, oh, wow, yeah, yeah. she was just like these are really really strong i love these i couldn't yeah have you ever had these before trying to sell them and i was like oh wow yeah yeah she gave me the fucking packet dude right so i'm like she gives me a packet of fucking chewing gum to specialize for halitosis and then expect they expect me then to go out and be funny but then you're sitting next to someone right and you're trying to go like um crack a joke but you're really conscious of turning around horrible i can't remember the name but and it says on them like you know like sort of like bad breath fucking killers or whatever you're like oh my god that person had them in their handbag or they walked

out of the first conversation with me turn around to someone like a runner and went, where's the test? Go see if you can get some C12s for Tom Davis because, yeah, he can't. It's not fair on anyone else with that friend. Oh, God. I'm constantly huffing. I've become addicted to huffing into my hand. You might have licked the back of your hand, aren't you?

I know, but then it's sort of like, I want to do it all the time, so I can't just have a hand that's just covered in my own fucking saliva like a fucking cat

like a fucking toad like a cat I'm really paranoid and also like when have you ever got into a cab

where the taxi drivers had bad breath and the whole cab oh my god do you know the worst oh cab where the taxi drivers had bad breath and the whole cab oh my god do you know the worst oh my cab right the worst driving experience i had was a guy who just farted like because you know what it's this is what i've noticed right but if some if you you in a relationship like mine in your relationship whatever if someone farts right and you laugh and

you you know like we're all gonna fight in front of each other. We shouldn't, that shouldn't be a problem, right? But it should be a quiet thing that's done and it's not a fucking big deal, right? If someone farts a loud stinking fart and you don't go, oh mate, fucking hell. Like if you laugh and just make it socially acceptable, that person will be like, I was in a car, I right driving back long journey and this person I'd say farted at least 70 times wow

it was like by the end of it it was like they were squeezing out farts that they didn't have just to fucking you know if you're farting that much

you need to take a shit right yeah yeah yeah yeah I even said I said like twice do you want to pull over just go to the toilet and they were like no no no I'll be right when i get home i'll just go i don't like

going to other toilets well yeah what's also not really nice is the fact you seem like you're going to the toilet here yeah i feel like i'm in your toilet right now so do you want to sort that out it's it's such a weird thing isn't it my my My fart... So I've had to try and deal with... So I used to have a thing where if I needed a shit, I'd be very particular. Well, I still am quite particular about where I take a shit, to be honest with you. You're a classicist.

Yeah. Well, I get nervous. Yeah. So I don't... There'll be some situations where I can't take a shit. But since I've started trying to get to grips with that... This is so disgusting, what I'm talking about. But I started to get to grips with that, this is so disgusting what I'm talking about, but started to get to grips with that.

And what I mean is when I start to feel like I need a shit, I try and go for a shit as soon as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My fart ratio has absolutely plummeted. Really? I mean, yeah. I reckon, genuinely, I don't think this is an exaggeration. I am farting, I reckon, 10% as much as I was even two years ago.

Wow. 10% less? No, as in 10% of my total, like a 90% decrease in the number. Wow. In the amount I'm farting. Because you're having a dump.

I'm just taking action straight away. I'm thinking I need to deal with this. Because this is a problem I think I've done myself, my internal organs, serious damage. You know when you're on set and you need a dump and it's like, well, we've talked about this on here before and there's just nowhere to go. The worst.

Or, you know, you just, I used to be like that. Also now, that thing is, we're talking about like responsibility is not fighting. Sometimes I've held in a fart and I've thought, there's a good chance that tomorrow's front of the newspaper will be comedian explodes because this thing feels like it's building up real fucking momentum.

It's incredible that you think you'd make it front page. Mate, if anyone in the world exploded because of a fucking massive fart inside them, you'd make front page. It'd be in the Daily Star. It'd be next to,

gerbil sucked me off. I love those headlines I love those headlines I got a haircut like Jack Greenish and I've had 37 blowjobs in the

last hour it's so fucking good though aren't they who's buying those stories I mean they're clearly making them up I guess It's so fucking good though, aren't they? Who's buying those stories? I mean, they're clearly making them up, I guess.

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a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Tom, do you drive? No. Well, you want to give me lessons? Actually, that's my New Year's resolution, by the way. I'm going to drive this year.

I'd love to give you a driving lesson. But here's the thing I want to talk to you about, which I can't really talk to you about on a level because you don't drive do you ever have that like i knew you didn't drive but do you ever have this where facts that you are certain of yeah you suddenly become nervous of in the moment when you have to draw upon them do you mean so for example so example if i i i'll be with somebody who i've known for ages. I 100% know their name. Someone else comes over. It could even be Lisa. And somebody comes over.

And in that moment, I stop being convinced that I know their correct name. Sorry, am I at your tour show? We fast forward to the end of January. Is this a work in progress? Yeah, sorry, man. I've just got to try some new shit no no no but that does happen to me yeah it happens to me i just love the fact that you you've you've literally that's a joke that i've i've thought about trying to crack and you've

just actually earned it because of the lease and thing that's that was a genius in that joke um uh anyway the point i was going to make before i got into that little diversion that's probably going to be in the hustle tour 2024 is um that uh I went to the gym this morning at six right um it was still dark yeah nighttime driving or driving in the dark I don't I think people underestimate how much more difficult it is than driving in the daytime I know that sounds like an obvious thing to say but I feel like people just just think you put your headlights on and it's hunky-dory, but you're not. In fact, do you know what? I think maybe it should be restricted.

Wow. I don't know. It just feels... I did not feel completely... Well, you felt scared? Maybe it's because I was tired, but I didn't feel completely on top of my game this morning driving to the gym.

I respect the fact you got up at 6am. I got up at 6 and lay in bed for an hour procrastinating because what I wanted to do I should have got

I've got a gym here I could have just walked in and just fucking had a workout but just lay in bed just thinking I'll just do it later and I'd have felt

a lot better about myself if I'd just come out and had a workout we're working a system where Lisa and I alternate and obviously because of the kids we can't both go yeah same same like Catherine and had a workout. Well, we're working a system where Lisa and I alternate, and obviously because of the kids, we can't both go. Yeah, yeah, same, same.

Like, Catherine's had a workout this morning, as we've already... Yeah, but we've decided that I'm the early one. So... Oh, wow. So I'm going at six, and then I wake up and I go, I really want to get up, and then Lisa will go, yeah, yeah, I can imagine. But, yeah, I mean...

Don't imagine. You take the first shift, but, um, that's not what's happened. But then Catherine, anyway, Catherine has that thing,

right? That she'll go, I want to wait. I want to do a workout at like seven or eight, which means I'd have to go in the one before, because the one after is just like, you know, you're getting into work time then,

aren't you? So I've ended up having to do afternoon workouts or sort of evening workouts. Yeah. Well, the gym, the gym that I i go to they've got some sort of like teenager plan or something like that where like in the evenings or certain hours kids are allowed in and so you basically go in there it's like a fucking common room just no you don't watch the machines and stuff like that and like yeah gossiping yeah oh you never guess who sarah's checking or you know mickey fucking smoking now they're all talking about the fucking side men or whatever i mean it's just mental yeah yeah i mean you could just say i fucking know those guys actually do you know what so i had an incredible thing happen

uh the other day i was doing have i told this story about me being at Capital? I was at Capital doing press. Right. And KSI wandered out of doing some interview somewhere. And he's been on the podcast, on my Hip Hop Same Life podcast. I said hello to him. And he had a bottle of Prime in his hand.

Are you aware of the phenomenon of Prime? Yeah, I am. Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it at youngsters. I've also seen people of our age getting obsessed with it which i find slightly fucking muggy if i'm going to do yeah i saw someone i know i can't imagine seeing a man in his in his 30s excited about no it's more tragic because we're in our 40s and i saw a guy who's our age like christmas ready he put and he opened his fridge and I saw a guy who's our age like Christmas ready he put and he opened his fridge

and he did a panning shot of about 15 bottles of this prime stuff please tell me please tell me to wind them out mate I'll send it to you

I genuinely by the way this is nothing against prime can we just say this is nothing against prime I don't want any

and also shout out anyone of a certain age bracket who's that into something if you're showing off that you've got that much prime in your fridge you're not far away

from a guy fucking driving up to a school with a fucking packet of sweets yeah enjoy your prime R. Kelly but so KSI had a bottle of prime in this ad

my kids are obsessed with prime as they should be yeah but rightly so in the same way that kids are obsessed with sweets yeah they're of the but rightly so in the same way that kids are obsessed with sweets yeah they're of the age that Prime is a thing

and I said to KSI my kids are obsessed with this they're always asking me to get it and then he goes well we can hook you up and he basically sourced me a load of Prime

and so then I went home and I told my kids the excitement I just don't I told my kids the, the excitement. I just don't, I couldn't believe like Alex came up to me,

hugged me and said, thank you so much. You're the best dad. Cause I've got some prime. You're lucky. You're lucky. It's like a drug dealer. Yeah.

It's like a drug dealer. But you're dealing in product. Like, yeah. Yeah. Mate, but also shout out KSI for that. What a nice guy.

He was very nice. He always strikes me as a decent young man. Yeah, and he's got no reason to be, really, because if I'd made that amount of money and I was his age,

I'd be an absolute thunder ****. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, mate, I'd have gone, he just feels like, whenever I see him interview, whenever I see him,

I think, you know what, you seem like a decent piece of land. I always find it incredible when people think that footballers should be nice. Although, you know, I think you sort of think like, a lot of these guys have come from nothing. Do you know what I mean? They're suddenly earning shitloads of money.

They're getting everything done for them, and they're getting looked after, all of that. I mean, I'm not going to go into the lifestyle of a footballer. We all know what it is. They should all be pricks, right? I mean, you know, they're being basically machine designed to be pricks if any of them aren't i think it's a fucking movie yeah but also the problem isn't the problem is the people around them that's the whole like the people around them who because if you're told from

me look me and you were told from yet very i don don't know about you, I'm guessing. I was told I was going to be a loser pretty much from the age I could talk. Like from as long back as I remember, I was told that I wouldn't really achieve. Not by my parents, but by teachers, other kids, anyone, any club I joined, I was always told that I was going to basically not really amount to much, right? So that gave me a fucking will to fucking just want to be socially accepted, accepted right i knew that i wasn't going to be good at stuff right when you're amazing at things and everyone around you is telling you incredible things like when i watch that and you're amazing at something that everybody wants to be amazing yeah i mean that's

the other thing when i watch that have you seen the crystal palace documentary about the young kids no i've not watched it is Is it worth it? It's brilliant. It's fucking brilliant. It's amazing. But it's utterly heartbreaking to watch as a parent. It's like, because you, because you see the fine lines in who makes it and who doesn't,

it's not necessarily all even down sometimes to talent, you know, it's down to so many different things. Right. And it really is. You realize just what, what the fine lines are between a kid that's going to make it as a professional footballer and

you know who's amazing on it actually Will Sahar but Eze who plays for Palace he's fucking inspirational man he's a fucking G

that guy mate he was let go by so many clubs you know but what's amazing is that his parents weren't obsessed with him

like they they just supported him they weren't like you know you've got to my because what you see in that is like you've got to make it you have to make it like my parents were at a point where if i turned up to a club three times i'd achieve something yeah like literally just have like be awful at something and keep on going back they'd be like oh actually you know what we we can't like you can't you can't you can't question his dog fucking determination in just being the worst at something he's absolute shit but he's consistently

shit everything yeah mate you're describing my fucking childhood bro yeah but but then that's given me and you a way of a pathetic need to be like like so we are the way that we are whereas it's given us a dreadful narcissism where we think an unplanned podcast where we do absolutely zero preparation is worthy of broadcasting.

But if you're incredible, like you said, it's something that everyone wants to be good at. Yeah. Yeah. And you know the sad thing though. That's what I'm amazed by

is that the ratio of them being good blokes is so high. You know the worst thing is though, and I'm not the worst thing is, though, and I'm not going to name names, there's two or three that I've met who were really nice lads

and then have become absolute pricks, thunder pricks. Yeah, but that's kind of... Yeah, no, no, no. I'm not saying that's all right, but I get it. No, but that happens in our industry. It happens in every industry.

I do sort of get it. It's a great shame. I feel like it is a great shame but also you can often like i don't know if you think about it from their point of view sort of go if you're constantly if you've you know being told no is so good for you i mean i think i think about that for my kids i sometimes relish not in a cruel way but saying to them you can't have that or you can't do that. It's good for them. Yeah, of course it is. By the way, speaking of which, I've just

come back from Finland. So we went to Santa's Lapland. Amazing. Mate, it's like fucking Christmas turned up to a thousand. You know what I mean? Like, you arrive at the airport, all of the staff, the airline staff

or the checking staff are all wearing Santa hats and Christmas hats. Oh, mate. Handing out chocolates, they're wishing Merry Christmas to everybody. You get on the plane, the plane lights are red and white. Oh, mate. They get the kids up on the mic on the plane to sing rudolph and jingle bells and they play games and it's fucking mad right it's mad it's like but

you know i would say as an adult you know if you don't if you have this slightest sniff of not being into christmas god help you uh but it was like a it was a magical experience one of the things i noticed about our kids and i've since had conversations with other people and i think all kids like that and i would strongly recommend you sort of make an attempt to tackle this with grace while it's early enough to do so attention their attention span like not i'm not even talking about their attention span their ability to deal with boredom is zero. You know, like when I, I remember like going out with my parents and I'd be fucking bored so much.

Do you know what I mean? Like so much of the time. Just sort of sit there like a fucking dog. Do you know what I mean? Just like while people have conversations that you don't understand. I remember being on holiday with my parents. My parents were the fucking worst, by the way,

for making friends with other couples. Absolutely. Just so, every night they'd be meeting up on holiday my parents my parents were the fucking worst by the way for making friends with other couples absolutely just so every night they'd be meeting up with a couple to fucking have a drink or whatever

and we'd just sit there quietly just sit there just not saying anything we used to do the whole going away

with other families right right right so you'd have time to play but then if you didn't get on with the other kids it was weird

so get this, right? We go to Lapland. Incredible experience, right? Amazing. They love it. And I don't want to do them any disservice here. They were incredibly grateful. And we surprised them with it on the day.

Oh, wow. You surprised them with it? Yeah. So the night before, we said, you need to pack some hand luggage because tomorrow we're going to Lapland. And they lost it like it was a proper moment do you mean it was wicked anyway we went to we booked a snowmobile safari right which is why they're in a sled and then lisa and i were on snowmobiles like sort of trailing around them or whatever and um we went to get the helmets and stuff like that. And then we sat down outside the snow shop or whatever,

waiting for the snowmobiles to get sorted out. And the kids start going, we're bored. I go, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? We've just arrived at the activity. We've got the equipment. We're now waiting to be put on the snowmobiles. What are you on about?

How can you have the guts to say that do you know what i mean like it's incredible but they but like it's just like but listen i can't blame them we the number of times we're about to go out or we're about to do something and we just give them you just sort of go well let's just let them bring their their tablets with them do you know what i mean but this is the problem we've got now is that even that like so grace is what one years old right so she yeah already is in a situation where as soon as she gets annoyed because she's now getting like if you take something off her she wants everything yeah so the other day like she was in the kitchen i was making dinner she pulled everything out of one of the cupboards like everything right so i've got to do the cupboard lock things up, you know,

but there was nothing harmful in there. Pulled everything out, right? And then she gets something and starts pulling the lid off it. And I was like, no, you can't do that. And she does the thing where she... Can you imagine if you wandered in one day

and she's just sucking away on an arse pebble? She just goes like this. like she gets her hands and she gets really annoyed right and i'm like no you couldn't no you can't have that and then i start putting everything back and then she starts putting and we play a little game of that anyway she she's doing this for a while and in the end i just was like well okay cool i'll just put pepper pig on the tablet and i put she goes she says by the way pepper pig right i like she's one so she doesn't know what's going on i put on that music and it is literally like you know when you see like you know when you're with your missus and a song that they love hits the dance floor and they're like right boom we're having this so

pepper pig comes on grace is like what like like she literally goes static for it and by any of your kids into pepper pig uh they used to be they've grown out of it of course yeah they'll be a bit slightly weird if they were but theo's still massively into it daddy pig is such a bad example of he's such a fucking idiot he's such a loser he's just such a tragic so like i'm so like looking like i look at him i just think like i've got like because mummy pig's great like miss rabbit's incredible daddy pig is the only real sort of like he's the only sort of like male adult character in it and he's the absolute fucking festival of fucking idiocy he's like yeah he's a fucking moron but there's one the He's a fucking moron.

There was one the other day where I was watching the other day and Grace was pissing herself. She's one, doesn't understand, but she sees a big bearded character with all the other kids splashing him when they go to the swimming pool. Yeah. I'm like...

I know. That'll be... You know what? The saddest thing is I actually identify with Mr Pig sometimes. Like this morning with this whole gym example. At least you've got the respect

to call him Mr. Pig. Well done for that. Have you ever seen a woman who's like, I don't know, I mean, I'm going for it because we've had them on. He takes Pepper and George to his work. What does he do? This is the trick.

You haven't really got an idea of what he does. He introduces them to other characters who are there. And even that, I was sitting watching going, Pepper's really not into this. You can see Pepper's just going, oh, fucking hell, you know, thank God I've got my own cartoon fucking franchise. I don't want to bore an old job like Dad's got.

It's fucking absolutely heartbreaking to watch. He's, yeah. I mean, you're going to get to this stage where I thought my kids would be interested in what I do, and I've offered to take them to work, and they've got absolutely zero interest. Really? When I saw an avoidance.

Bearing in mind, they want, by the way, they're into acting, right? So, so I'm doing, I'm doing a sitcom. They're learning about the process. He doesn't see how he wants to be an actor. His dad is one. He has that little respect for you that is like,

yeah, your dad's doing some acting. Do you want to come along? Nah. I'll probably, you know. I've sort of applied through school to sort of see if I can get on a programme there. I can look online if I want to come along no i'll probably you know i've sort of applied through school to sort of see if i can get on a program there i can look online if i if i want to look at things not to do thanks very much dad if we're doing a module on one dimensional uh no range performance then yeah i'll just joined master class so chris hensworth'sworth I'll just watch that instead man

that broke that totally broke my heart it didn't really break my heart I just sort of thought yeah fair play you just got

the new FIFA right should we do some emails let's do a couple okay thanks once again to the Swan actually remember

oh I need to apologise to you by the way go on this is not in an email. Well, this was in an email, but it's not in an email that we're reading, but I did see this.

So do you remember when we were talking about Fathom on the Drunk Podcast? And I said to you, I haven't got time to go through the entomology of every word. Yeah. Anyway, it turns out I used the wrong word. It's actually etymology. And entomology is the study of insects.

Wow. That's been pointed out a number of times. Well, you could be quite apt with that as well. Oh, I like. Okay. This is from the peer-pressured, bat-eared fox. Wow, fucking hell. I know.

So much imagination. Go, go. Hi, Wolf and I. Firstly, thank you so much for brightening my day when I work from home, as I listen to your sweet sounds daily from replaying every episode I found myself in a situation which

is that I'm pregnant, I'm with a partner in a relatively good stable situation to have a child part of me is worried to tell friends in fear of missing out on social situations due to pregnancy and becoming a parent or that I will lose friends and some people may feel distant to me now as I'll be the first person in my friendship group to become a parent and have a different level of responsibility I know that real friends would stick around on this new journey but I now as I'll be the first person in my friendship group to become a parent and have a different level of responsibility.

I know that real friends would stick around on this new journey, but I'm fearful I'll be dropped and be perceived differently. It's making me feel worried about losing a sense of identity to become a mum, as I still want that part of my life at times to remain part of this friendship group. I do feel that our different lifestyles may be on different pages when the baby is here. Some general advice would be great, and how did you adapt to the life-changing event of parenthood and navigating a social life? Thanks again, and don't worry, I've not confused you for the parenting health podcast not heard of that podcast but uh thank you uh from the peer pressured

batted fox um tommy d sure um yo it's number one it's very normal when you any big change of life comes along to uh feel worried about how your friends and your social group are going to perceive you or how they are they're going to deal with the new you and your new life changes number one um i mean it's a bit different like you know i'm i've come to come to this game as a parent a bit older you know um it's very sort of present to me that i'm going to be an older dad but it's for me this is the best time for me to have done it. And the fact that I think I've now got my shit together as a grownup, I sort of know what I'm doing.

I feel like I'm going to be a better father for that. But I think the biggest point actually, and it's a great leveler to work out who your real friends are, is where when you, something like, like you know this happens when you get to a big life event you know some people will stay around some people will distance themselves there's going to be a whole lot of different reactions to it the only thing the thing i would say is and i never sort of got this until i became a parent is it i sort of give a less of a fuck about anyone outside that bubble of me Catherine and Grace that that's that that's now that that's that's my priority with time is

to be a good husband as good a father as I can be and if anyone's not into that or anyone like doesn't doesn't go along with that I think you know you you've got to sort of you've got to prioritize that and as I always talked about this on a lot on this podcast a lot I've realized sort of as time has gone on that people I thought were the friends that I'd have you know well into my sort of 60s and 70s have sort of started disappearing and and you know and they've gone their way and I've gone mine and that's life and And you remember the rich, fun times. But yeah, you have to look at personal growth and where you're heading and where your family's heading.

So what I would say is, let's knock it out for Christmas, last bit of advice of the year. Do you, be yourself, enjoy it. You're a sweet, sweet soul and you're about to go on the biggest adventure of your life. And it is one that I wouldn't change for anything big love thanks for imagining to the imaginative name mag out uh peer-pressured bat-eared fox uh tom's advice as always absolutely stellar uh what i would say to

you is this first of all congratulations uh it's going to be an incredible thing it's magical and amazing and it's going to change your life infinitely for the better. With all of that said, I'm going to say something that sounds quite old-fashioned, but there is no denying that having children has affected Lisa's life more than it has done mine. That is the honest truth. I'm a hands-on parent, and I get involved as much as I can,

but by dint of me being out for work and Lisa spending more time with the kids it has affected her life more so much to the point where like if I go out it has relatively little effect on the running of the house if Lisa goes out she almost feels like she has to issue me a dossier of what has to happen while she's while she's gone and um you know it is just how it is and we've had to be conscious of that and to be honest with you lee said to be conscious of the fact that if i'm away with work she's at home with the kids and she spends her whole time being called mum which she loves obviously she loves being a mum but it's difficult and and you know she has to be conscious of the fact of trying to maintain a life

outside of being a parent and wife and having her own identity separate to us. And that's easily taken care of for me because I work a lot. And so, you know, you have that, whereas she doesn't automatically have that. And we have to be aware of that. So the reason I'm saying all that is that the fact that it's a concern to you already means that i think you need to take action on that and what i mean by that is talking to your partner about how you are going to manage that situation and how you two are going to work together to making sure that you are able to still engage with your friends and engage with life outside of being a parent now i'm not going to lie to you

it's going to be it's incredibly life-changing and it will feel very challenging at times so there's no way i'm not going to i'm not about to sit here and tell you that your life will be completely unchanged after having a kid that's mad but i do think you can if you sort of a little bit of foresight forethought rather i think you can sort of try and manage that more effectively so rather than just waiting to see what happens have a think about how you're going to manage that and things will take you by surprise it will be more challenging than you think it's going to be and it will affect you in ways that you don't anticipate and things will unexpected things will happen you know for example one of our kids sort of quite early on in his life got really really ill and for quite a long time and so everything comes to a standstill you know

and you just completely you know you have this whole new set of worries that you weren't aware of before it opens this door to emotion that you didn't necessarily realize that you had and so all of those things are going to happen you've got to be you know you just got to take the rough with the smooth when it comes to that but i think in terms of like talk i think what you can do is talk to your partner about maybe setting up a system where once you come to us for a coffee morning and you're gonna take care of the kid whatever i don't you know i don't know what that is i can't i don't know what your friendship situation is so i don't want to dictate that but i do think it's worth having a like a think about how you're going to tackle that because it's obviously a concern and what you don't want

to do is just sit back and let that happen and then be annoyed when it does happen so um but look i'm saying all of that because of your email the truth is it's going to be amazing and your friends will respect that you know it's one of those things where like there's always a first friend in a group that has kids and listen i'm not i don't want to start saying that the default situation is to have children because lots of people don't want to have children and that's totally fine but what i'm saying is you know you go through stages in life as a friendship group, and somebody's always the first, first to get married, you know, whatever, whatever.

It's just a matter of managing that and filling it out. So good luck to you, peer-pressured bat-eared fox. I hope it all works out. Keep in touch. Navigating adulting isn't always easy. We'll see you next time. to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you reach for craft dinner because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love that's when it's gotta be kd when you gotta do you it's gotta be kd shop now today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. And teaming up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters.

Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live, and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests, and of course they'll have to meet my standards, and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. I can't remember what fucking emails did we do. I don't think we have done. I don't think we did the show. I don't think we did. Dear Wolf, Al, Swan and Cow,

I absolutely love your podcast and I want to thank you so much for putting a smile on my face, especially during those tough days. You both remind me we all have hang-ups or things we fixate on. I've always had quite low self-esteem. Welcome to the podcast.

And I'm trying hard to love myself and how I look. Double welcome to the podcast. My major hang-up is this. I have a big nose. One you would call a Roman nose. Amazing. I was never bullied at school about it. No one ever said anything to me or made comments to my face at least. I had a couple of comments from dickhead lads when I was around uni age who I essentially

told to fuck her off, but the truth is it makes me very self-conscious. I'm a female of 30 and have recently had a breakup from a long-term relationship. My now ex-boyfriend used to make jokes about my nose, which after many years I really had to drum into him how upset it may be, and he stopped for the most part, but he did give me a very backhanded compliment at the moment at one point telling me he finds me very pretty and if i did have a smaller nose i'd look like a model fucking as an only single person all i think about is what other people think of my appearance i in my nose my profile and it makes me so self-conscious generally i do think i can look pretty i'm also fit and healthy and i think i'm a good person a good catch as it were but this is one aspect of me that i truly despise even when people talk about noses i get very self-conscious

hot red faced i can't bear it how do i learn to love this one part of me i've considered surgery but i'm too scared to have something like this done i want to try and learn to love imperfection any advice would be truly welcome lots of love the shy giraffe um tomo I find it really hard to give advice on this because I suffer with bits of these sort of things myself, you know. For example, I don't know, look, when I first started losing my hair, I found that

a really, really difficult thing. I found that really sort of, the thought of being bored for the rest of your life and, you know, people even now have, have, have been, you know,

I've mentioned having plugs or whatever. But, but then being bored has become who I am in a sense. And it's become a part of my own, you know, sense of self. I think, I really admire the fact that,

you know, you want to love your imperfections. And I think that's, I think we should all do fact that, you know, you want to love your imperfections. And I think that's, I think we should all do that a little bit more. There's, there's certain things like, you know, I've always like,

you know, I had a bit of a hangup about being sort of, you know, having your top off and stuff and, and just through acting and whatever, and through one thing or another, I've sort of just learned to think, Oh,

fuck it. Do you know what I mean? And this is me. And I think thing or another, I've sort of just learned to think, oh, fuck it. Do you know what I mean? And this is me. And I think as we were talking earlier about things, you know, at school or whatever, not being good at things and the life, the knocks that like the thing,

the hits that life can give you can make you stronger and it makes you who you are. You know, um, I think, I think that's the thing you've got to look at. And a lot of these, a lot of of times when it comes to these sort of, you know, the imperfections

and the problems that we see in ourselves, most people wouldn't notice them. If you were to say probably to a friend or whatever, you know, I'm worried about this thing, they would go, I've never really noticed that in you. And it's just something that we build up. And actually people give less of a fuck about those things than you do and actually the truth of it all is if you are a decent sweet person and you do your best by others then that's the thing that people that you should

be around will take away rather than any physical imperfections you're worried about and as for your ex you know saying that saying that you know that backhanded compliment it's my fucking it's one of my pet hates it's it's a it's a problem that men have you know you know i i i'm not gonna get too deep into it now but a fucking wanky side of sort of like early part of this century when fucking that negging thing became a thing and i see it and i hear it sometimes i have to i've picked blokes up on it it fucking aggravates me that fucking backhanded compliment to be insulting to someone that you really really fancy but the way you think you're going to get to them is by saying something really horrible about them so they actually start questioning everything about them to maybe somehow find you fucking relatively attractive it's a fucking pet

hate i fucking love it and i've done it with blokes and pick them up and it really upsets and pisses me off and i think you're best out of that relationship for a start because if he's fucking saying things like that then fuck him uh and i think yeah, you seem like a decent person. Learn to love it. Don't go through surgery. Don't go through things like that. Yeah. If it is that big of a deal and you feel that's a way to do it, then yeah,

whatever, you know, I'm not telling you to do this, but you seem like you've got a real strength about you. So learn to love it. But there's a lot to love about you. And I salute you for that. You're sweet,

sweet soul. Keep doing you. Great advice, as always, Tom. Shy giraffe. I mean, I've talked about this a lot throughout my life, but obviously my eye has been something that I've struggled with for my whole life because to me it just feels so obvious and such a major part. As soon as you look at me, you see it.

And, you know, I've talked about this in the past, but it's kind of shaped me in a way, because I feel like I genuinely don't believe I'd be a comedian if I didn't have a lazy eye. And I just feel like it's something that's kind of shaped my childhood, and I used to get comments about it all the time at school and at uni and well obviously even now and it's I just um I've sort of learned to accept it you know it's part of me it's part of who I am and I feel like it's sort of almost weirdly part of my identity and I

don't think I would change it to be honest with you having said that on the way back from uh Finland uh two of the hosties asked for a photo, and I took a photo with them, and they posted it on Instagram, and I just looked completely fucking stoned in the photo. I was a bit tired. I just hated the photo so much, so much that I messaged them to apologise for how I looked in the photo. So it still fucks me up now to be honest.

Very rarely am I happy with a photo of myself so much so as we talked about I got someone to do a drawing of me because I couldn't face having a photo of myself on my tour poster so I mean I guess I'm not the best person to advise because I haven't dealt with it myself properly but what I would say is I wouldn't change it and your nose is you know as Tom said you fixate on things you are beautiful with the nose that you have and so you just got to sort of accept that yourself and you don't need to change anything about yourself that's that is the fact do you know what i mean and people that are making comments are just you know deep down they're grateful that they've got something else to talk about rather than their own

fucking insecurities and hang-ups that they're dealing with. Do you know what I mean? So fuck them. You know, like the fact of the matter is, is that human nature is, you know, and it's how bullying happens, is that when somebody targets somebody for something, everybody else is secretly grateful because it means that the attention is off them for a bit. Do you know what I mean?

And they can focus on this other thing. So I'm sorry that your experiences have made you feel self-conscious about it, but Tom and I are both telling you now, you needn't be. Do you know what I mean? You have got a great nose. You're a great person.

Fucking love yourself, nose and all, and go out there and fucking slay. Yo. Have a great year. Bye, girl. Okay. That is about time for us so uh tom could you please do us the honor of seeing us out of the last wolf and owl of the year yo yo people will talk about this last week like it's the end of a

marathon and after this race is finished, there'll be another one. Another one that you might be able to compete in more. The trouble with New Year for me is it's not the end of anything or really the beginning of anything. It's a lap. It's a lap of life that we keep on running. And it's always good to have your eye on a better time or be critical of the lap that you've just run. But the main thing is enjoying just being in the race, enjoying looking around at the other people running alongside you. Have a little smile, a nod.

Some people are going to run a little faster at times. Let them be. Some people are going to run a little slower. Maybe just slow your pace down just to tell them it's okay to not be at the front of the pack truth is a matter of most people are just going to be in the same place in the pack a big huddle of people running together and that's sometimes the most comforting place to be always look behind always look in front, but always be present with those that you're around.

Big love. Thanks for listening to 2-2-2. Thanks for listening in 2020. It's going so fucking wild, don't want it. Thanks for listening in 2022. It's been an honor to have been in your ears and in your hearts. And may I say one last thing to the man sitting on the other screen, the owl. Thanks for being the best buddy a guy could have.

Oh my God. That was absolutely beautiful. Guys, thank you so much for listening all year. Tom and I, I think I speak for both of us. We are in utter disbelief. Anybody listening to this podcast.

So thank you so much. Thank you so much for doing so. We really appreciate it. Can I just say very quickly, if you're coming to the Manchester or London shows, we're going to be asking on the night, but if you've got something that you'd like us to discuss uh on the night as part of the the live show please email it at wolfowpod at gmail.com and specify the date and location of the show that you're going to be on uh and we will make sure we put that in uh if we can uh we look forward to seeing it the live live shows. Genuinely from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you so much for this,

the podcast. It's we love doing it. And, uh, I love Tom, as you know, hopefully that's clear despite the fact that I, yes,

I do pick him up sometimes, but it's just from a, it's coming from a place of love. Uh, so, um, look after yourselves and each other. Uh,

JT, can you please take us out with a little bit of Little Sims Gorilla. We will see you in 2023. Love you guys. Bye-bye. Bye, guys. Seeing in the mirror Drink 42 and smoke cigar Name one time where I didn't deliver Silent figure I was just on the ends Dropping gems with my friends

I got a 3310 and a pack of blems Then got the goal, call black, circle back again Rapping when nothing progressive was happening Ooh, pain tolerance couldn't break us Pay homage if you respect how we came up Cool break us pay homage if you respect how we came up cool cool cool cool cool if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com that's wolfalpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you