Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 29: Tidying Up & Bothering Barmen

Episode Date: January 18, 2023

S2 Ep 29: Tidying Up & Bothering Barmen We’re talking… being back in the garage, enjoying tidying up, spending too long in pubs, drinking at family meals, bothering barmen, morning panics and hypnotherapy help. Then some of your email questions on having more inspiring weekends, managing exasperation with your family and a flatmate fridge-management problem. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11am. Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt.

Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course, they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st,

streaming on Disney+. The body parts get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping.

Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning, just kidding Every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh Wolf and Al back in the building And we're not talking about putting on a live show Because we haven't had time to get together and actually record a new one. We're talking about a brand new episode of the wolf and the owl.

Back to garage, garage records. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in my garage. You're in your garage. My garage is freezing by the way, because it's yeah. Catherine decided to actually do a really sweet thing and help by tidying up my desk area in my garage but then also left all the doors of the garage open so it's absolutely freezing here yeah well yesterday uh i had a day off lovely wow i decided to tidy my office basically what i've discovered i've said this before in the pod not discovered what I've had confirmed is any space that's exclusively for my use becomes disgusting pretty fucking much.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a situation. So as I'm talking to you now, I've got, like, vape corpses, empty cans of Diet Coke, just bottles, wrappers. Do you remember I told you about two months ago that that guy gave me a sugar waffle on the train? That's in there. Are you bad for man? Oh, you know what? I kind of I don't thought I'd say I'm enjoying sorting shit out now I'm in my 40s me too. That's what I'm saying to you. So like yesterday

Like my office is like a complete state. So I thought I'm gonna spend a couple of hours sorting that out Yeah, so I put some music on. Oh mate. Oh no, I love this. I love this vibe. So I put some music on and I was tidying up and like the kids were playing, whatever they're playing at the moment, Fortnite. Oh, in my head, it's you are, you've got music on and you're dancing around like Jennifer Aniston in the sort of like rom-com who's just sort of split up with her

boyfriend and you're dancing around. Mate, do you know dude i did something so embarrassing so like i had the music on and i went out to get a bin bag for like rubbish and stuff like oh god why am i explaining what a bin bag is used for anyway i did you do a twirl as you came out the door no but this is what i did so this is this is jay-z tune yeah but not this jay-z tune everyone knows it's big pimping yeah good like so I came into the room just as the rap started. Oh, man. Pulled yourself in.

Yeah, I walked in, slammed the doorbell, and started shuffling across the room, like rapping. Oops, my bad. That's my scenario. Theo looking at Charlie and just going, I actually prefer it when he's a bit down in the dumps. Anyway, I was tied in the office and Lisa opened the door and saw me kind of cleaning and, you know,

it was like the hip hop version of whistle while you work. I was sort of bopping around the room, and she looked at me like, you know like in rom-coms where somebody sees their part, they don't know they're being watched. Yeah, yeah. And they're doing something, and they just sort of do a little smile like,

yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I love them. Imagine the opposite of that. Imagine every molecule of your attraction to that person dissolving. That is the look that the swan gave you as you walked into the oven. This is such an insane thing to say, right? But I, yeah.

I can't help but keep, I've got a vision of like Lisa walking in and you're bent over like cleaning the floor and you've got like sort of like some low rise jeans and a thong on. She says she might have to go to the doctor because her vagina dried up so much. She literally felt any sexual desire just completely dissolve from her body. While you're whistling and your bum's wiggling. Oh, Leisha, look how nature is in here.

Yeah, I think I'm going to go see a friend Oh, Leisha, look how nature is in here. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm going to go see a friend that I've been curious about, lesbian-wise. I didn't ever think I'd say this. I sort of prefer slob you. I know I said that you sort of always look miserable and I wanted you to cheer up, but I didn't mean this. to cheer up but i didn't mean this

i also did uh an embarrassing dad thing last night as well oh no so we um oh here's the thing couple of things to talk about and i say talk about i lose i use that faster than those you know you wouldn't even mention it in a pub if you went out with a mate, but we've got to fill a podcast. So we went to the pub for dinner. Oh, whole family? Whole family. And it's a weird thing when you have to do a family one, when you've got kids of our age, because you can't go when anybody else has dinner because you've got to go a bit like the kids have got to go a bit yeah

so we went we arrived at 6 30. yeah well no that's similar to us at the moment well actually we're a bit earlier we'd probably be at 6 30 would be quite late for us now yeah so we arrived and obviously the pub is completely dead. There's only kind of, I would say it was populated by other people with young children and people that were on all day. You know, a couple of guys just sat at the bar, just like arrived there at about 11. You know what, I was that guy for, I think, about 10 years.

Me too. That's the, you know, when I look back at some of the most, like, wasted times of my life. No, not just, like, they were enjoyable at the time, but you know when you used to get in a pub at like 11 or 12 on like a Saturday and you'd see almost like Evolution of Man, you'd see how the pub would wave and change.

You'd get those hardcore people coming at 11 as the pub opened, you'd be having booze. Then you'd get the lunchtime families, people having a good time. They'd leave. You'd get a lull where you'd sort of just be sort of drunk enough just to sort of play on the print machine have a bit of a joke and then you're sort of the loneliness of your whole situation would creep in as friends went back to sort of wives and families and loved ones and then you'd sort of like sort of grab a hold of

sort of a group of other people who would just happen to be in the pub on an all day as couples and families and people came in for their dinner and then at last orders you were that sort of last man standing that was pretty much yeah i used to do that and also you and also you'd leave thinking that was a charming series of accidental events and you create the debt of nothing but actually what you've done is behave completely tragically yeah also that you your idea would be like Also, your idea would be like, oh, man, met some fucking really funny people today. I know, I know.

Just as sort of like a couple that you'd sort of interject to the romantic night by sort of like walking past going, oh, you're having a steak, mate. Fucking hell. You're living and laughing, yeah. And the wife going, he's so sad. Should we invite him to join us? Yeah, the one bit of solace you can have is that you've given

everybody you met a story about that weirdo at the pub you know that I still have people who like

I'll get like weirdly on your you know like on your mech you'll get a thing in your top right hand corner it'll be birthdays yeah

I'll get like it's like I don't know like you know Rob Kavanagh's birthday and I think who like you know rob kavanagh's birthday i think who the fuck is rob kavanagh yeah and then i'll sort of go on my facebook to see who it is and it is a guy that's sort of like i've met that fucking house party that i turned up like roguely turned up because someone had invited me without really knowing me or someone i bumped into in a

pub who's a friend of a friend i find it so insane some of the people i have like sort of still on my facebook when i started doing when i started doing stand-up i would just like you know people come up to you after a gig and they'd add me on facebook and i'd accept them and they were like one day just sort of seeing somebody that saw me at 99 club liking a photo of my children from like five years ago so this is a fucking situation did you do a clear up did you do a clear up yeah i did when i switched it to like a fan page and then started a new account with a different name yeah i know yeah i should have bleeped that out well thanks for that mate well done thank you i've still got my same fucking facebook that i've had all the time i know i know because you're a thirsty little bastard.

You don't want to run the risk of people not being able to find you. Do you know how fucking tragic this is? I bet every morning you log on, you go, I wonder how many friend requests I've got tonight. There was a time

when I thought I was almost like playing Pokemon with friends on Facebook. Yeah, it would do. Friend in common, it would do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I used to love getting out, I used to love a session, I used to love, I have do it. Friend in common, it'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I used to love getting out, I used to love a session, I used to love, I have so many people now that, and do you know what, when you sort of see something comes up, like a bit of news about someone

that you've met once and then you still feel a pang of like, oh, maybe I should have kept in contact with that person. At least you had four pints of Stella with them in fucking 2003. You sort of think, I never really saw that person.

No friends in common. It's the same fucking thing to think. Go back. Oh, yeah. So I was at the pub last night. Yeah. And so this girl that was serving us, she must have been about 19, 18, 19 or something like that.

And I don't know if you have this, I've got this, I was talking about this to a mate the other day. So we've got, when we have babysitters round, when Lisa and I are going out, I get incredibly nervous about, um, them. I get incredibly nervous about them thinking that I'm a perv. It's like, it's like an ongoing fear I have. So I barely talk to them ever. And I, and if it's a situation where Lisa an ongoing fear i have so i barely talk to them ever and and if it's a situation where lisa i've had a couple of situations where i've come back and

lisa's been out and and i've had to sort of ask how the kids and you know pay the babysitter basically i find it absolutely unbearable because i just sort of i can't look and then i think i guess it makes it look worse yeah it does make it look like you're sort of looking at your feet and just sort of a hello um yeah the boys are okay all that anyway so then what I start so then last night I had the same situation not not that I don't want to go to think I'm a perv but I don't I just want to be I don't know I I don't know I just don't want to be you know what you want to be and this is some part of your our age now yeah but you want to be you want to be seen as a cool dad yeah do you know what you know i think i don't know no no and i don't think that's you and i'm not by the way this isn't because i i feel slightly i feel

the same when i'm out you don't want to be seen like a guy who turns up into a fucking pub with two backs fucking backpacks on uh even though he's popping out for fucking half an hour to fucking a pub 10 minutes around the corner and fucking everything he's wearing is fucking looks like he's just giving up but you you want to be seen as like oh god he's a really cool that that i think that's a part of it i don't think it's just yeah i mean i've sort of you have hit the nail on the head but you've hit it so hard that i absolutely feel so cringing embarrassed now because what apple was is like lisa and i and I'd love to get your take on this. Lisa and I wanted, there were like two vegan options.

Yeah. Lisa had like, Lisa had been out there with a, been to this pub with her mates before and had some sort of curry. So she goes, this vegan curry is really good. So I said, all right, I'm going to get that because I was going to get that. So then we decided to get two main courses and split them, right. Which I'm going to tell you now, I don't know about i don't know about this we'll talk about this in a sec but anyway the girl comes over and she goes what would you like the boys order completely simply because

they've got no ongoing issues and existential angst right and then she says to me what would you like and i said love the curry then lisa said i thought i was having the curry and i was like i i really and then we like oh oh yeah we're gonna get the burger and the curry and then i said oh god he's so embarrassing you know it's gonna be badly yeah i turned to the girl and i i turned to the girl i said hold on a second i think we've got a little bit of a situation here that needs sorting out. And then I sort of chuckled and she... Such a dad thing to say. Ooh, well, offering up a spud. And she looked at me as if to say, just do the order. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway, we ordered a vegan burger and a curry oh this is the other thing that I did oh god I drank so many gin and tonics which was fine you were getting like a boozy sort of dinner no it wasn't nobody else was drinking

oh jeez when I say a load I had like three with dinner yeah right which is you know more than this now yeah cool dad's just leaning a little bit cool dad is like it's like i'm the only one partying here yeah yeah you're you're taking the piss that's pretty close to what happened so i'd had two which is fine and then i genuinely instead of just going is it possible to get another gin and tonic i said i pointed at my glass and said looks like i'm gonna need another one of those oh you know you're like

a few inches away from being like yeah we'll get three ice cream sundaes for the boys. Dessert wise I think I'll just have another one of these.

Chink chink. You know what? We're both sliding into that place of trying to look cool and trying it's fucking

it's such a fine balance isn't it? Well you say a balance, I don't think I was balanced at all I think it was just tragic Hey I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice. Nice. What's it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click

with glee. Whoa, let me try Nah, it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping.

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conditions apply only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor canora has got you our new canora rice cups deliver all the tastes without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. I went to the pub the other night. I had a really bad audition like an audition that's even now just sitting resonating badly with me and I decided afterwards just to go for a drink

on my own the most tragic way have you done this before yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and I just thought like yeah just just go get a pint on your own. Like, I just thought, just try and sort of go through it and try and rationalise. And that's a really good way of rationalising everything is sitting on your own in a fucking busy pub watching the world, yeah. Yeah, alcohol is a great way to sort of make you gain perspective

and consider things, yeah. But I go to this pub, this said pub in Saro, I've got a bit, and there's, like, a young barman there. He's probably 22, yeah. But I go to this pub, this said pub in Sahara, I've got a bit, and there's like a young barman there. He's probably 22, 23. Yeah. And he's from up north. He's a really nice kid. He's a lovely kid.

But I sort of ended up trying to sort of, like he was working, right? And I just, you know, like in your head, you have this sort of picture, I don't know, of sort of sitting there sort of your head you have this sort of picture i don't know but yeah i was sort of sitting there sort of moodily like this sort of actor or like a sort of like you know you know just sitting there moodily just sort of in their own world and i thought i can only do

that for a matter of time before i want someone to go you're right mate and no one came up and just say you're right mate so yeah what i did is I started chatting to this lad, um, so much so like, and trying to sort of like, sort of just ask questions. I've tried to have a bit of a laugh with him, try and find out. Anyway,

he got to the point where I kept on stopping him when he was going past. His manager came over to me and said, um, God, please God. No, you know, he,

it's really busy in here and he's, uh, you know, he's real is this yeah i swear man i swear it's real oh my god oh my god and like you know what it felt a bit like so it felt like a dad whose daughter he's trying to chat up and then he's his manager came over and said what his manager came over and said um are you okay um can you stop like as if i can't remember the kid's name but he said every time he's his manager came over and said, what his manager came over and said, um, are you okay? Um, can you stop? Like, as I can't remember the kid's name, but he said every time he's coming past, you stop and chatting to him. Um, and it's like, we're really, really busy here. Um, and I'm sitting at the bar, so he's doing table service. Right. And then I sort of like, was like, oh yeah, yeah.

Sorry. Sorry. I just, yeah. Yeah. Just had a bad audition. And he was just like, yeah, cool. yeah, sorry, sorry. I just, yeah, yeah, just had a bad audition. And he was just like, yeah, cool. Oh, you didn't say that. Please tell me you didn't say that.

I tried to give him a little bit of reasoning of where I was at, right? Okay. So the guy then, the manager just walks off. The kid then, every time he walks past, I feel like I'm sort of, I just did that. Yeah, he's walking past he's walking past the danger it felt so embarrassing

and also that kid will have had a word with the manager oh yeah of course he has no no no what's happened is the manager's come up to him going why

what's taking so long it's like there's a guy sitting at the end of the bar and every time I'm walking past he stops me to chat to me and like

and also it's oh god you know when you feel sick when you're about to say something yeah so i was chatting to him about like where the i was like where you from mate and all that and he's sort of like saying like i've chatted is this is this after the warning or before no it's just before the warning okay that's so um he's like i'm from manchester sort of thing so i'm like oh fucking hell man i was up there last week with my oh my god and all that just chatting and then

god oh and I was like I actually yeah oh god yeah me and my mates we went through

like a really really nice curry actually when I was up there we had a really like and he's like oh yeah there's some great places to go

which one did you go to I was like oh shit I can't let me just see so then I was at and he's like oh yeah there's some great places to go which one did you go to I was like oh shit I can't let me just see so then I was trying to google oh my god where it was at

he doesn't care he does not care and then I started doing the thing that my I see my dad doing with people as he walks past I'm like

he goes he goes like yeah I can't find that fucking place you went to oh my god basically if you come out

of the opera house you go over the road Jesus I was so drunk when then you walked there anyway so I was trying to but then it's sort of like

he'd walk past and I'd go you City United mate and he's like yeah oh I don't really like football and I was like

you've got to be fucking City United he's like probably United my dad's a big United yeah so I was like what do you think yeah just that was the sort of

do you know do you know what happened is after you couldn't find the restaurant you thought okay thank God conversation's dead and then you went

and found a new topic mate I didn't find a new topic Ron I found about seven new topics why because I was lonely and I sort of

I felt when I felt low i had to have human into it i felt like i mean i should have just come home but do you know the sad thing is this in london right yeah yeah the sad thing is that i was about and free yeah no yeah i should have just texted you shouldn't i we could have probably got yeah we could have both chatted to that guy we could have worked out which restaurant it was. I'll tell you about. Who's my mate? Well, when was that? What's that restaurant called?

Oh, yeah. No, it's like it's Indian street food, really. Come out the opera house and I'll give you exactly the same directions as you did. Yeah, just another pint

instead of please and a gin and tonic. Oh, yeah, I think I'll have another one of these. Yeah, just another pint of Stella, please, and a gin and tonic. Oh, yeah, I think I'll have another one of these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I, um, I, I, um... The loveliest thing of, just quickly, me and you being fucking thrown out of a pub and someone going, what were you thrown out for?

Being boring. Yeah. Yeah, we were... You know when people say pubs are for talking? Well, we were talking too much and asked to leave. Oh, my God. This morning, I was so ow, you wouldn't believe it. So last night, we got back from the pub and were watching a film.

And the boys went to bed. So, like, this is so boring. But we have, like, if we have a TV night, there's three stages to that night, right? So, stage one, all of us are awake, right? Yeah. Then Charlie and Alex go to bed. And then there's stage two, which is me, the swan,

and Theo are awake, right? Then it's Theo's time to go to bed. Yeah. And then it's finally me and the swan's theo are awake yeah right then it's theo's time to go to bed yeah and then it's finally me and the swans screen time right yeah like this this doesn't happen every night what time do i go to bed by the way it just depends at the weekend probably like half 10 something like that and you just stay up mate i'm i'm i'm usually in bed by 10 well sometimes that does happen but um so but last night you know we'd had a there was a boozy owl sort of stumbling around the uh the house and yeah needed a bit of uh tv to sort of burn off the energy i just feel wired dancing around yeah so we probably got all your dancing when you were doing the

cleaning earlier i'm surprised you're not tuckered out from all your boogie while you were tied in the office. You big homer slips and slippers. I did have big slippers on actually. I really was unattractive this weekend. Anyway, we went to bed about, I reckon one, something like that, half 12, one. And I said to Lisa, I've got to do the podcast in the morning. Tom's very kindly agreed to do it at half nine.

So I'm going to go to the gym at eight. So I need to get up before eight. Anyway, went to bed, didn't set an alarm or anything. Woke up. And this is how it went. Woke up Sunday morning. Both of us just sort of quite sleepy eyed. I turned to Lisa and I go, what time is it?

And she looks at her watch and she goes, it's eight o'clock. And then I just went, oh my God, I'm supposed to be in the gym. I jumped out of bed, just sort of like rushing around. Oh my God, oh my God. Just like throwing my tracksuit bottoms on and stuff. It was so pathetic. And Lisa went, is this panic over you needing to go to the gym on a sunday is this what's happening it was so bad man for two things

to unpack it right number one this is how this is where me and katherine are at the moment we had a like we we said when we stayed up and watched the last two episodes of traitors we stayed up to 11 30 we still talk to people like that. Like we were fucking at a beach party and fucking coast of me or something. It's fucking when people talk to us, it's like, Oh yeah, fucking hell.

You have a witch. That's about 1130, nearly 12 o'clock watching the end of traitors. That's how fucking wild we are at the moment. That's what happens, man. But yeah, it's insane.

But, um, that, that fear of thinking you won't be able to get a gym session in, we did get some great bits of gym. But me and you have both, we chatted. We had a very deep chat this week, didn't we, by the way? We had a very deep.

Yeah, we did. Actually, it's worth talking about this. And a part of me and a part of you, I think, at the moment, is where mentally we're at. I think those gym sessions, actually, although it just feels that sometimes it's just a gym session it's more than that i personally see it as like saying to lean on that if i don't do it i think i get into my own head more than do you know i can get really into my head if i don't do it yeah me too me too and even sometimes i go and i'm not really

my head's not really in it and i just go and do it and then i come back going no that doesn't count no anyway it was like it's really bad because uh anyway my my i panicked more about i shouldn't really say this publicly but i panicked more about getting there on time so that i could come and do this pod than i do about getting to work on time i mean if i'm late for a writing day i'm totally unbothered yeah but for some reason, getting to this thing totally spat me out. But anyway, long story short, and that, well, I can't say that because it's three long stories that I've told, but I've had an unattractive weekend. Do you know what I mean?

I've been very daddy and panicky. Yeah, but I think there's something quite sexy about Daddy Rob. Not sexy, but wholesome. I kind of like it. I think, you know what you seem, there seems to be a chilledness around you seems like yeah well the accusation is often leveled at me is that i'm very chilled out about big things and then incredibly panicky about little things so for example if i'm doing i don't really get incredibly nervous about doing shows or whatever yeah yeah but what i do get nervous about is if I feel like we've

been mugged off because the wait has taken ages to come to our table to ask us what we want, then I start panicking and getting quite stressed. Yeah. Or if we're late to get to if my worst is getting to a gig late as in not my gig. Somebody else's gig. Yeah, I get really panicky. More panicky, I would say, than getting to my own tour show on time. It's really weird. Yeah, but you know, like,

these are small traits of ADHD. I had, like, one of my third, like, ADHD guy, I did a therapy session with him, and he was, like, going through, you know, basically just going through, trying to sort of, like, get a scope on just handling, sort of not, you know,

cause there's a lot of people chat by it. It seems like it's, yeah. My thing at the moment is trying to work out best way of me handling it. But, um, one of the things is like taking small things and giving them gravitas and then massive things happen in your life and you treat them almost like the

small things. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, it's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Cause he said to me an insane moment because he said to me at one point he said let's just work out how you're you know with with adhd and how yeah so he was doing some tests one of the tests was he he was like i want you to explain pick something in my room start explaining what the thing is in my room if you as soon as you get another thought in

your head just put your hand up right yeah and literally i turned around said oh there's a wicker basket behind you and then i went like that and he was like okay that's like what is the thought in your head and i was like i was just starting to think what which one of the ninja turtles had like nun jokes and he went pardon i was like that's that thought came in my head for some reason i, I was like looking at the fucking... But how do you not know that's Michelangelo? Why do you have to think about that? No, no, I couldn't even remember. No, no, no, but I couldn't remember.

I'm joking, I'm joking. I have that. Yeah, but that's a big sign of it. That's a big sign of life. We actually had an email in. It's not one of the emails that we're reading out today, but we had an email in from somebody saying that they think that i might have it based on how i am on this podcast yeah but apparently apparently do you know that thing that i do where i say something

and then immediately go why the fuck did i say that or whatever or why am i saying this out apparently that's a sign of being neurodivergent uh and like just some of the characteristics i've shown on this i guess it's because this is like us at our most unexposed no not overexposed overexposed something's been leveled at me quite a bit but i don't mean it in this context i mean like it's your most exposing isn't it we're just chatting so yeah yeah so of course it's like very he's you know one of them not another word but he said to me he'd never met me before it was like you know sitting going through stuff he he sat there looking looking at me for a bit doing this with a pen just sort of like as i was chatting he's like do you reckon this is genuine or a moved is this a move do you think

i don't know no but he's yeah he's watching he's just watching all of you know so i'm always as you know when i'm doing the podcast i'm always playing with you know, when I'm doing a podcast, I'm always playing with something, whatever it is, right? And then he just looked at me and he went, you want everybody to like you, don't you, Tom? Oh, my God. And I went, you want everybody to like you. You want everybody to like you. You want to be everybody's friend, right?

Sorry, was it Peter the masseur from the hotel? No, well, he's Spanishanish this guy um okay good okay i think some sort of yeah hispanic like hispanic guys in my life and i was like then he straddled you let me show you how much deep into your mind yeah and he said um and i said yeah is that a part of adhd and he looked at me and went, not necessarily. Continue. I was like, how fucking insane that, like... Oh, my God. I had a thing where I did... This was amazing, right?

So I've tried all sorts of different types of therapy for our life. And I tried hypnotherapy, right? Because I was getting... So basically, I'll be completely open about this. Partway through one of my tours, I started to believe that I was deeply, deeply shit at standup. And so, but it was right in the middle of having a load of tour dates.

So I was in a situation where I was, I was going to have to do something that was causing me intense anxiety. Do you know what I mean? So I was sort of like... It'd be like every night I felt like I was going to have to ride a unicycle for an hour. Do you know what I mean? I have this deep-seated belief that I can't do it,

but I have to do it. Do you know what I mean? So I was really like... Every time a tour show was coming around, for a period of time, I was freaking out. do you know what i mean like so so i was really like every time a tour show was coming around for a period of time i was freaking out i mean and i was like sitting in the dressing room like you can't do like literally like rocking but like you can't do this you can't do this you can't do this and um so somebody said to me you should try hypnotherapy right so i went to this hypnotherapist and i had a number of sessions but one of the thing that the thing that was really mad that she did was she goes i want you to uh give me the when you

think about going on stage i want you to think about the number i want you to attach a number out of 10 for how anxious you're feeling about so you know really put yourself there she made me really put myself there and then i go okay and she goes i go eight or nine right she goes all right focus on that number and then she started doing stuff she started getting me to go through these mental exercises because what's the number now i said five she goes what's the number now three and then she did something else and she goes can you find that feeling now and i couldn't and then she did something else and she goes can you find that feeling now and i couldn't and then she goes keep trying to find that feeling she goes i want you to spend the next minute trying to find that feeling of anxiety and so i sat like trying to find the feeling i couldn't find i couldn't get anxious again right and then at one point i looked across the room and exactly where I was looking, there was a sign saying, you

won't find it here. And I went, what? She goes, she like saw me look at the sign. And then like, she goes, for some reason she, she knows from doing it. That's where, when you're looking for that kind of feeling, that's exactly where your eyes go. Do you know what I mean? So she knew to put the thing there.

It was fucking mad. I've never had it since. It was so crazy. You've never had it since. It was so crazy. Well, you've never had the anxiety since. I get, don't get me wrong. Yeah, of course. Yeah, we all do.

If I'm starting a tour, but I never have that kind of. I mean. And it wasn't because I suddenly think I'm good. Do you know what it is? It's because I realised that even if it's shit,

it doesn't, it doesn't, not that it doesn't matter, but it's not the end of, do you know what I mean? It can be shit. Things can be shit. Yeah. Get me like. It's how you deal with it being shit i mean talking about that we're both um so this is we're is it so on thursday so tomorrow when you listen to this podcast

is both is my first work in progress for the tour right yeah is that your first proper work in progress for your new tour well yeah kind of yeah so like that's the thing at the moment driving me man i've gotten i feel like i've gotten that like nothing like nothing i'm like oh my god like the the fear of like just thinking oh fuck what have i actually what have i got here as a thing what's my shtick yeah i mean yeah you know like because the last time i like i led up to doing the apollo and that was like that was bespoke for the apollo that was everything i did like with me and you didn't work was like well that's i'll lay that down for the apollo that's done so this next lot and like you know when that all started off i felt the same now i'm like oh my god that thought

of like what are you gonna say that's the thing eating me up at the moment i know i know it's hard man but um you know the thing is is it being hard is all part of it yeah you don't care about that right should we do some emails my g my baby let's do it okay thanks once again to the swan for selecting the emails this This is from The Farting Emu. Wow. Emu's big farts. I don't know. Is it emus that spit, or is that... Yes, it is, yeah.

It says, hello, legends. I come seeking advice. My girlfriend and I are both approaching 30 and have been together the past five years. We're both each other's best mate and love each other dearly. We've been inseparable since our first date half a decade ago. We're in a great place. In recent months our weekends have gotten a bit routine and we're lacking a bit of inspiration to come up with some ideas and now spend weekends a bit bored

which is annoying because we work so hard during the week. At the moment our weekend usually involves a bit of admin housework, a country walk with a dog to the pub, a few beers then home. I think it's because the past two years any free minute has been spent renovating what was a bomb site of a house and that was easing off we sort of don't know what to do with ourselves i also think it doesn't help that everything in this country costs money and we're saving up for a visa to ship her back to australia with me that we're lucky to spend money on things we don't truly need i know the everything costs money comment sounds daft but for example i live 45 minutes from melbourne city center in australia and to get there cost me less than five

dollars on the train. I could go out, spend the day mooching around before going home and meeting mates. To do the same thing here, get into London from 45 minutes away would cost us 60 pounds just on transport alone. So what is there that we can do that won't break the bank? Do you have any suggestions for something different? I don't mind how outrageous. Thanks legends.

The farting emu. Tommy D. Well, you've just, you've just heard us describing our electric experiences at home, so this shouldn't be a problem. You know what? I know this might sound corny. I think you've got to take a bit of... Your weekends sound pretty amazing to me, if I'm honest, and that's sort of how a lot of our weekends were spent uh pre-baby we we'd go to you know a pub restaurant have some food take the dog for a walk go rest his soul um and that sort of was the that was our our weekend thing doing i think having something to look forward to i think that's the we've talked about

this before but i think number one enjoying every moment you have together it's one of the things that you know through you know one of the things. It's one of the things that, you know, through, you know, one of the things that therapy and one of the things that I'm trying to be is a little bit more present within the situations that I'm in. If I'm with Catherine and Grace, I'm trying to be, you know, we were talking about, you know, me and you had a big conversation. And what I realised earlier this week was like, I had like incensed pangs of paranoia and intense pangs of anxiety

and like things that were completely out of my control and I realized that I think on Tuesday night I was like this is like I'm going to be sitting here with my wife and my daughter who's that's my world right and the exterior part of my life and the outside is crept in and it's really like having a massive repercussion on this really important time and it's stuff that's completely out of my control and sort of I'm digressing a little bit here but what my point is I think is actually most people I think would love a situation where they could be out with someone that they called their best friend someone that they loved and enjoyed being around and going for a dog walk and going into a pub and i think that

sometimes in life we're constantly looking for other things we're looking for the we're going oh you know this could be better than the thing that i'm in right now and actually the thought is and i think is going you know what i'm enjoying this and i think your boredom and the things that you're sort of explaining as being quite the troll would probably be most people's perfect perfect day out or perfect way to spend a weekend afternoon i think that you know that said i think having you know me and katherine are now actually this is advice romesh gave me so me and katherine are looking at things forward we're going right you know we've got a date night here you know we're doing yes in February we've got a date night in March we've got a date night shout out Flo for arranging some tickets for me but we've got uh we've got little oh my god

we've got we've got things to look forward to but actually I think that a way of always being and you know you're saving to to go back to Australia so it's something to look forward to but I think it's it's enjoying the here and now But I think it's enjoying the here and now and I think it's enjoying the present. And it's when you're in those moments, instead of thinking, oh, we could be doing more, it's thinking, you know what, I'm content and I'm happy. And that's something I need to do.

I know that for a fact. I think we all do a little bit more. Great advice from Tom, partly because it's advice that I'd given him, which added something to it for me. I do think that thing you said about being in the room is better. For example, when I went to the pub for dinner last night, I left my phone at home.

Big one. That's a good one. I do think it added something to my evening. That sounds like such a mad thing to say. No, no, no. It's so right, though. Obviously, the boys are on screens because we need to keep them quiet basically but um i uh look i get that i get what you're saying like it's very easy to fall into a routine and i think look there's two things i think one is what tom was talking about about the fact that you've actually what you've described sounds quite idyllic to be honest with you but but also there are things that you can do i mean i think

it's just about mixing up a little bit i I think having something to look forward to is nice. Like say, for example, if you're saying that money's a problem, if you decide that you're going to do something a bit splashy outy, but you're not doing it every week. So, you know, you've got some theatre tickets or whatever for like a few weeks time, something to look forward to. That's nice to build up to that you're going to get dressed up for, go out, have a nice time, have a meal afterwards or whatever. If that whatever if that's within your sort of budget but you know you can make it within your

budget if you save up you know it doesn't have to be all the time it can be like once every once in a blue moon even is something nice to have something in the diary that you know is coming up the other thing is just sort of doing different stuff like for example i know this sounds like such but like it's so embarrassing we we talked about it before on the podcast, but doing something like an escape room or some sort of different activity that isn't that expensive, but is a bit of a laugh is a cool thing to do. And also the other thing that I've started doing is, uh, doing like a restaurant evening for, but at home. So like, you know, choosing a new recipe or something that I'm going to try and knock up.

And it's like, I'm basically running the rest. We don't get into role play. I don't get into a waiter's outfit. But what I mean is just doing a meal from scratch that you haven't made before. You can either help each other out

or take turns and one of you does it and one of the other, the other one does it. I know you have to buy the ingredients and stuff, but you can do it relatively inexpensively. And you don't have to buy a cookbook. I'm explaining what they're about to explain what the internet is what i'm saying to you is there are ways of doing different stuff and it's just about mixing it up a little bit you know what i mean you get to the yeah i

just think just little things like that are just cool things to just mix things up but what i would say to you is my main concern with this email is that you think that this is a problem and it is a it but it is a problem in a way because you've emailed in but it is a small one do you mean it's like this happens to all couples this happens to everybody do you i mean you get into a routine you know life gets in the way and you start falling falling into this pattern and it's just about trying to break out of it. But you know, don't be hard on yourselves and don't start thinking you've got a problem in your relationship or whatever. I hope you don't think that that's not the case. It's just how it is. Sometimes life isn't always, you know, when you first get

together with somebody, you're doing all sorts of shit, aren't you? And then you fall into a pattern and people think that comfort is bad, but it isn't really, you know, I know that the, the, the version of love and relationships that sold to you in films and in books and stuff is the beginning bit where it's all exciting and blah, blah, blah. But there's nothing wrong with like, you know, the, the, the next bit of the relationship. So don't feel bad about that. I'm not saying it has to become boring. It doesn't, but you know, budgetary requirements mean that, you know, budgetary restrictions, I mean, mean that you've got to be a bit more inventive. Um, so, you know, good luck with it. I you know, budgetary restrictions, I mean, mean that you've got to be a bit more inventive.

So, you know, good luck with it. I feel like I've talked all around the houses there. That's a beautiful thing, bro. That's a beautiful thing, bro. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo.

Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham.

We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We'll be right back. April 8th. Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. And teaming up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong. The new empire.

Now playing only in theaters. Okay, let's do our next one. This is from... Funny to call yourself the farting emu and they're not referred to that at all no in the thing i thought it was going to be a farting issue um which i've got a real farting issue at the moment go and talk to me talk to me so i'm sitting in a cloud of my own guff still from when we started but i was looking after grace yesterday um and we were having like a, a daddy-daughter day.

You know, Saturday, we tried to do, like, I tried to have, like, a morning which is daddy-daughter, you know, where we chill or we go out, whatever. I did a guff yesterday, and it was the first time that Grace looked at me with absolute disgust. Oh, my God. I farted. We were on the sofa.

We were watching some cartoons. By the way, Apple and Onion, I don't know if you've seen it. It's amazing. No.ed. We were on the sofa. We were watching some cartoons. By the way, Apple and Onion. I don't know if you've seen it. It's amazing. No. Anyway, we were watching that. I fart, and she turns her head really slowly and looks at me. It's Catherine.

It looked like Catherine's done multiple times at me. Yeah. And then she sort of inched away a little bit. And I was like, two hours ago, I was wiping your bum after an explosive punami and I did I looked at you with love and affection when that happened and you've looked at me like I'm an absolute piece of crud I would say a weird reaction would be to look at you with love and affection after you've done a killer fart yeah are you know are you nervous are you nervous that that might be her first memory I'm not you know I mean yeah god that wasn't until you nervous that that might be her first memory? No. I mean, yeah, God, that wasn't until you said that.

I'm nervous. Do you know what? I'm nervous. It's a short look into the future of she is going to find me disgusting at some point in the fight. Like, you've got, you know, geeky nerdy dad. I'm going to have, like, oh, God, Dad, I've got some friends coming around. Please don't fart in front of everyone.

It's going to be so embarrassing. Yeah, and me trying to be cool and her going, oh oh God, dad, I've got some friends coming around. Please don't fart in front of everyone. It's going to be so embarrassing. Yeah. And like me trying to be cool and her going, oh God, that's my dad. Yeah. My, my thing with my, my dad was such a funny, my dad was such a fucking, like, I love my dad to bits, but he was a bit of a slave. So my biggest thing was like, you'd go like when we got old enough to like be hanging out with girls and stuff.

Like, I mean, I don't know what the age is for that for me it was 21 but it was different for different people and um i was in the friend zone from about the age of 12. i think that's like you know like you were saying to me about we were talking about me doing dad jokes at the pub i think this is where it comes from my desire to not be my dad which has essentially come home and go oh hello darling oh you're like just really horrible. Do you mean like my dad ran a pub for a long time. We used to take, we used to go there like before a night out, go to the pub. You'd be with a girl.

I just, my dad would just be so like, I would describe it as flirtatious, horrible to watch, just my dad was just like like my dad's a pretty cool guy it's like they're big shoes to fill I mean it's what King Gary essentially is me writing about he's sort of amazing at DIY if people don't like him he really doesn't give a fuck he genuinely is like if you don't like me I'll give you a kiss

he's a really affable guy gets on with people he wants to will make an effort, be nice and he's pretty his moral compass is pretty pretty strong so i i look at my dad and at times think oh my god like yeah i mean this is a whole different episode in itself but uh i look at thinking oh my god like sometimes just even now i look at it and he'll say something i'm like i still feel like i'm a bit of a disappointment yeah i mean the key to that is uh lower your expectations um okay this is from

the frustrated i'm a strong piece of advice just yeah just yeah yeah uh massive fan of all your work i'm a wife married for 20 years and a mother of two kids 11 and 13 i love my husband and kids dearly but there are times when they individually or collectively do my fucking head in i do find myself at times after my teenager has been particularly obnoxious and my husband hasn't done the thing i asked to attend weird for the swan to email in herself anyway walking out the room i am in with them closing the door and putting both my middle fingers up at the closed door and silently mouthing the words, fuck you. I feel much better once I've done it and get on with my day.

However, there are times, especially when I've done it to a room my kids are in, that I feel bad after, even though they have no idea. What do you think? Is this okay or do I need to find a new way to vent my frustration? Do either of you do anything similar or maybe you're aware of something the swan or cat do? Should I start taking deep breaths or is it okay to keep secretly giving my family the bird many thanks for frustrated us sir um the frustrated shout out um i i yeah i'm comfortable doing this i do that sometimes i'll walk out of a room especially if like you've got certain people

staying at your house or saying it's it's i think it's quite cathartic to have that little moment when you i think there's a lot worse things you could do than to let out a little bit of frustration than this um yeah i think every i think i think they're saying quite amazing and just having like a little bit of your own space where you stick both your fingers up at the world um i know katherine does it about me i know she does Catherine does it about me. I know she does. I've almost felt her walk out of a room and make a wanker sign. Or just, yeah.

What Catherine sometimes does is she can't wanker. Wanker's a step above the middle finger, I'd say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then sometimes some of my behaviour probably, yeah. Sometimes Catherine can't wait to get out of the room and she's walking out, there's like a sort of mumble, like a mumbling that she does like fucking didgeridoo. As she gets out of the room, like she can't wait to get out of the room when she's walking out, there's like a sort of mumble, like a mumbling that she does, like,

as she gets out of the room, like she can't wait to get out to sort of flip the bird. But I think these things are good. And also I don't think there's any problem in, I do think there's a lot to be said about venting to each other about things that, I think people worry about arguing a lot i think it's a real problem that actually people again like going back to what you said like you know soaps or tv

shows that sort of make arguing sort of feel like it's the end like the end of something actually i think argue like arguing or having a really quite frank discussion about where you're at and how you feel is a really, really important thing. That's one of the things, like, you know, growing up, my mum and me, I used to really argue with my mum a lot, like quite sort of, you know, and me and Catherine, we're both quite fiery characters. So if we're feeling a certain way, we'll chat it out. And sometimes that starts with one of us flipping a bird

or someone saying saying and then it but then like anything like once the dust settles on something like that you feel that little bit that little bit better for it so actually i think like whilst that's that's good i think like actually if it's something that's continuing and you're feeling like there's a small little sort of sense of relief when you're flipping a bird but actually probably at some point it's worth having a chat to to your husband and just to how you're feeling because actually to look a bit deeper i think sometimes and it's you know saying you know i'm only on the start of you know the journey of i think sometimes it might be down to the fact you

feel a little bit unheard and unseen so i think actually saying you know whether your kids will get that i doubt that they will but i think your husband's saying i need a little bit unheard and unseen so i think actually saying you know whether your kids will get that i doubt that they will but i think your husband's saying i need a little bit of recognition here and i need a little bit of support at times there's two children in his house not three i'm actually quoting catherine but one child or two well she's got the maths wrong on that actually yeah yeah um i i um i've got mixed feelings about this because for one, I'm almost certain that the swan does this to me. I'm almost positive that this is done to me. And also I would say that on occasion with the kids or with her, something's happened

and I've not, I don't think I've done the middle. Well, I have done the middle thing in the past, which I've gone to. Um, but I have gone, I just don't know what a fucking hell of what a fucking, just to myself. And I do feel better after that because then what happens is later on, I discovered that actually I was in the wrong in that situation. So rather, so I'm actually quite grateful to myself that rather than venting that out loud to the other person, I've just sort of dealt with it and then realized upon reflection,

it turns out I probably should have had a bit more empathy or should have looked into it a bit more. So yeah, my answer is, is contradictory because for one, I think that that is a good coping strategy. And I think that sometimes it just allows you to be a bit angry and sort of just deal with it. And often when you react angry like that, you're not being rational. It's an emotional reaction. And often, a lot of the time, this is down to ego. And I don't mean ego about being arrogant,

but a lot of the times when you get angry, it's because you feel you've been slighted or because you feel you're not being considered enough and and that is to do with the ego and if you take your ego out of things often you'll cool down very quickly do you know i mean because what you realize is every single time that you get angry and by the way i'm saying basically this is not something i've come up with of course because i'm a thicko but it is something i've come up with, of course, because I'm a thicko, but it is something I've read. But like, if you take your ego and your kind of, uh, your, your kind of, uh, perception of how you should be being treated out of it a little bit, you often realize that it's not being done to slight you. It's being done out of a lack of consideration or, uh, or by accident. Do you

know what I mean? And, and, and and and it makes things easier to to deal with so look what i'm saying to you is it's a good coping strategy it's an effective coping strategy it seems to be working for you having said all of that i used to do the middle finger to somebody i was going out with and i was in a relationship with a lot and it turned out that was totally the wrong relationship for me to be in and i was using i was doing it a lot i was doing it a lot middle fingers at a wall mouthing fuck you i used to do a lot actually it turns out we weren't supposed to be together i'm not saying that you're not supposed to be in the situation that you're you're in but i would

agree with tom that i think if you're doing that regularly if that's become a crutch that you fall on that because i do i do the sort of mumbling to myself on occasion but i wouldn't say that that is i i wouldn't go it's it's angry mumbling time today again do you mean it's not something i'm doing all the time so i think that tom's right it's probably worth not so much your kids kids are difficult and my you know our kids are frustrating but they're frustrating because they're children and they're supposed to be do you mean like they they you can't expect any more from them than that, to a degree. But with your other half, I think that you need to...

I think that requires a chat of some sort. Why are you feeling like that? So listen, frustrated, good luck with it. By the way, just as I said that, I'd love to see an otter throwing somebody the bird. Yeah. What an incredible... There's only animals that could do that,

because it's got fingers, right? Yeah. Famously the only animal that's got fingers. Okay. Let's... Should we do one more email, Tom? Yeah, let's do it, baby. This is from The Beagle.

Wow. Hey, Wolf Owl and The Swan. I love the podcast and your work. Always cheers me up. I've been living with a pal for nearly four years and it's been great overall. One overriding issue has been to do with food. My housemate seems to think that the kitchen belongs to him and often rearranges things on my part of the fridge and has been food in the past. There's always meant to be a short-term stay, but it's turned out not to be.

How shall I approach the conversation? I'm sure that I annoy him as well. I'm not judging. I'm just hoping for help on how to sort this. The Beagle. I found living with friends the hardest. Did you ever do that? The house share?

Yeah, I did a bit, yeah. Yeah, I lived with a mate, and we moved in together, and literally within about a month, he got a girlfriend, and she moved in with us. And it's probably the worst, one of the worst years of my life was living with

a couple especially a new couple who are really really happy um and constantly this sort of stuff used to happen like i'd buy something it'll be moved out of the fridge or out of the cupboard they're they're the half and half fridge space that we used to have became two thirds and a third to me and whatever it sort of became and for a year none of us broached and said and i'm sure by the way me coming in drunk at fucking two three in the morning loud or bringing people back for a party completely fucking ruined their the early fucking throes of their relationship but none of it was that we never had a conversation and much like the last the flipping of the bird i think this feels like quite a small thing but but the worst thing that can happen when it when when you

start talking about having any sort of animosity between you is that grows into every little like that'll grow into sort of something within the sitting room or you know people not pulling their own whatever it will all sort of transcend into... I think what people think is a harmonious sort of... It's like the same advice we just gave it. It's harmonious living together. Everything's fine. And you just don't broach subjects. Is there really a better way to live than actually sitting down and going,

mate, this fucking fridge thing's doing my thing. And you can make a joke out of it. I mean, humour is an incredible thing when it comes to sort of dealing with any situation like this. But I think it has to be talked about. You know, well done for you, because I can't think of, apart from Catherine, I've never been able to live with one person for four years.

Just because I think I'd be a nightmare to live with. But also, I think, yeah, you have to live with but also I think yeah, you have to deal with these things, you have to discuss them and when it comes to fridge fucking shit man that's more like what some people guard as, like me and Catherine now have completely different fridge fucking ideas

how we live our fridge lives I don't know about Lisa right I love Catherine, one of the things that she does Catherine will eat two thirds of a yogh yogurt and put the rest back to eat later and i'm like you'll never eat that like a little bit of thing or she'll eat like most of a whisper chocolate bar and put the rest of it back in that in the fridge yeah um and it's one of the things i'm like she's like well i just didn't fancy all of it it's like well number one that was my whisper bar and number two it's just eat the whole thing i mean but that's it there's so many things that i know that i do within the fridge that

just drive her absolutely mad yeah i mean the thing the problem that we have in our fridge is that nobody ever we never have any food that i like in it um that's the the big issue um the kids have all their stuff lisa has her stuff and for some reason whenever i mention stuff that i'd quite like it never gets added to the list so um so that's the issue that we have in our house. But with regards to your email, Beagle, there are two... By the way, Beagles have been ruined by that Beagle Street advert. What Beagle Street advert? Have you not seen Beagle Street? It's like a fucking insurance company.

It's on all the time on fucking Comedy Central. For some reason as well, I'm watching Comedy Central. There's fucking loads of these fucking Beagle Street and fucking life insurance adverts. I used to love watching it when they had toy adverts on. It's like my daughter's sitting there going, actually, Dad, you better fucking talk yourself out of some

life insurance. I won't be doing it with someone called fucking Beagle Street, by the way. It's a ridiculously named... Don't get me started on toy adverts, bro. Don't you like them? I just think they should be banned. Really? Yeah. I do not think you should have adverts that are aimed at people that are not the purchasing person like well yeah that's exactly what i'm saying about beagle street no but it's basically they come is somebody coming into your

house and going ask your mom and dad for this fuck off out of my house yeah yeah don't tell my kids to come and ask me for shit especially in january are you taking the fucking piss we've just had christmas well like what are you on about do you are you saying you don't think there should be any adverts on kids tv i think look i'm gonna start i don't want to be that extreme but i'm saying in january fuck off out of my house. You know what? Grace is so young, she can't be, you know, she's not able to, you know, I reckon that would probably dawn on me when I just find

them a bit more joyous than literally just sort of like, hi, my name's Claire and, you know, when my husband passed away, I didn't realise that we'd be left nothing because he hadn't got any life insurance. I'm like, why is this on fucking comedy central beagle street fuck off what's going on here yeah well it looks like we both got our issues um i um the with regards to the fridge thing

it's as tom said it's easily sorted what you need to do is you need to have a first of all you need to take the emotion out the situation and you need to have a calm chat about what you think the fridge etiquette should be. And if that means you've got a label shit, then you've got a label shit, but I think it needs sorting. That is very simply sorted with a conversation and a proper sort of non angry conversation. The thing that brings an alarm bell for me is you saying this is always meant to

be a short-term stay, but it's turned out not to be, which implies to me that the problem is more deep rooted than a fridge discrepancy. So what you've got to figure out is, are you annoyed about the fridge or are you annoyed about this situation? If you're annoyed about the fridge, then that's easily sorted, almost like magic that can disappear. If it's about the living situation, which the wording of your email implies that it is, then I think you've got a slightly more tricky situation on your hand, but also requires a conversation. So what I would say is both require a conversation with the emotion taken out of it. One of them will be slightly trickier than the other. I wish you the very best of luck.

Godspeed. Be you. Be real. of them will be slightly trickier than the other i wish you the very best of luck good speed be you be real tom do us the honors yeah taking us out this piece yo it transpires on me that this your body is built up of building blocks of different emotions very much like the game boy game back in the day tetris where different blocks and cubes and shapes would fall and you'd have to try and make them into a line some of them would be the threes with the little ones on some would be long lines some would just be squares and it was always easy it was difficult to try and get the just the perfect balance of what's going on very much like the emotions and things that you feel some blocks

come at you and they come at the in the shape of anxiety some is paranoia some is anger some of hate some of love some of happiness i think the hardest thing to do is find all the pieces that fit but my advice would be this try as hard as you can to make the majority of blocks that build up your spirit and your soul, blocks of happiness and decency and love. Yo, keep it real. Keep it true. And above all, just be you.

Wonderful, beautiful, gorgeous. Thank you. As always, Tom. Yeah, thank you. Guys, I'm going to take care of the song that we heard that I heard this morning

and it's about a guy ordering a burrito and that going wrong it's called Burrito it's by Zarface Tom you won't know the tune but you will love it

okay guys thank you so much for listening take care of yourselves we love you love yourselves peace out bye in front of him who forgot to brush. She's in pajama pants sipping on an orange crush. The door's open, let's get it going, let's speed it up.

They're looking up at the menu like they ain't seen it once. My lefty car need isn't possibly the barbacoa. Actually, I'll have the chicken, sir, because my heart is slower. But me, I get the same shit every time. From the same kid every time. If you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com that's wolf alpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you