Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 3: Sunny Days & Funny Nights

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

We’re talking… summer weather, making time for romance, crazy fussiness, the daunting thought of sex, the highs and lows of last week’s gigs, Tom’s most gluttonous meal ever and the burden of handsome mates. Then, after a bit of a disagreement about sweet potato fries and broccoli, we answer emails on techniques to help with relaxing, dealing with difficult in-laws, and an uplifting message from a newlywed. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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streaming on Disney+. The body parts get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping.

Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning. Yes! Oh, my God. We're back in the fucking building. Robesh Raganathan, Tom Davis, Wolf and Al, all up in your fucking grill. What's the deal? Can you feel that howl? Can you feel that howl? Can you feel that howl? Can you feel that twitch?

Whoa. Oh my God. That's kind of like, you like leant forward on your chair, on your haunches almost. Like literally, I got a little indication of what it must be like

to sort of like get you really like nice and horny. Yeah, I'm trying to think when that last happened. Charlie's seven. Sir. How are you, man? morning yeah i'm trying to think when that last happened charlie seven so um how are you man you're good i'm good brother i'm good i'm good you know the weather is nice oh good so sick unfortunately i've got zoom meetings all day but the weather is nice are you gonna not get out at all in the weather and just like i'm gonna go out a bit later on i think family thing possibly possibly i don't know yet i'll have to see i want to take the kids out i mean

so we'll see that sounded like the saddest sentence i've ever heard like you're gonna suggest to lisa and go um so i really want to take the kids out in the sun like maybe run around the park and lisa's like uh ronnie i don't think so do you know do you know the maddest thing is that i do still i still experience rejection in my marriage i thought once you got married that i'm not i'm not talking about sexual rejection that is something i don't even ask now but i'm talking about like going out for lunch you know like date rejection it's quite tough i feel like on a day to day basis i sort of get nervous about if I've got a

lunch time free just sort of saying to Lisa I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me I was thinking

whether you wanted to go to ask in Crawley you know what so Matt me and Catherine have a conversation

this week and I've been trying to do that thing of we need a little romantic date since Grace is born new parents would know this week. And I've been trying to do that thing of like, we need a little romantic date. We need like, since Grace is born, new parents would know you get into a situation where it's all about the baby.

You have to put time aside for yourselves as a couple. Yeah. You know, this is the worst thing. Our time aside has been watching Below Deck Australia down under, right? And that's finished now. So last couple of nights, we just start laying in bed

and watch old episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. And I'm like, we need to do something a little bit more. We need to have a little more romance. We've got a nice little week away with my parents and Grace, and we're going to have a little chill blade. That sounds like an absolute shag fest. My mum and dad are very open-minded. Make sure you get oiled up for that one, mate.

I think my mum and dad are still both in absolute shock that I've even had sex. Yeah. And actually, the way that Grace came about, Graham, the way that Grace came about, Graham was what we were going to call her. Graham's the guy that you hired in to give Catherine a C&T because you haven't got the goods anymore, right?

No, but the thing is, in my mum and dad's head, I could still be a virgin. I think my mum would prefer it if I was a virgin. I genuinely do. Yeah, I just think she would prefer that I hadn't ever had sex. I don't want my mummy selling himself with that dirty, dirty activities. Do you know anyone who's still a virgin? Do I know anyone who's still a virgin? No know anyone who's still a virgin um no but i do know

this there's a well i i'll have to double check with him if he's i won't name him but i'll have to double check with him if he's all right about me talking about this but there's a mate of ours who's sort of part of the core group who you met the other night when you came to that gig oh really he was one of those i'm now just in my mind just thinking who it was and um he like he never settled down he never really had relationships and shit like that and he was like one of these guys i don't know if you have these guys in your group that he's quite fussy so even like um let me just say man or female right yeah fussiness is a dog shit way of being like fuss you can't be too like the ever crazy fussiness.

I've got friends, man and female, who are so fussy. By the way, what a lovely thing for Catherine to hear when she tunes into this. You just got to settle. You've just got to fucking get whatever you can get and settle. Let's be so, so truthful. In my relationship, I think we can all see who's settled. Every morning, Catherine...

I don't think that's a bone of contention for anyone every morning Catherine and Lisa getting up looking in the mirror and going let's just make peace with the decisions we've made laughing anyway the guy who didn't get on Drake's boat laughing

just every now and again Lisa just out and about bombs into a guy that she used to go to school with that she could have been with yeah oh god yeah you're still

you're keeping a good nick aren't you yeah it's a real good kick big kick from being you you wake up every morning not to an alarm clock but a sigh

oh it's still him it's not a it's not a fucking 12 year dream that I've woken up from it wasn't just a fucking nightmare. Anyway, this guy, this mate of mine,

he didn't want to settle. He's quite fussy. So he never really got into a relationship. And he never really played the field massively either. He just was kind of like, just a bit fussy. And I thought for a bit, maybe he's just one of these people that doesn't ever want to be in a relationship,

which is totally legitimate. Obviously, as blokes in your 20s you know you everyone was asking questions of him what are you going to do what you're going to do anyway long story short he's the only one of us that hasn't settled down now he is having more sex than anyone i've ever met i mean it's just insane because he's still in the game do you mean he's still yeah but in the game he's in the last ranks of the game i'm gonna I'm gonna throw it out like this bro yeah it's no

different from Premier League football because there's a time where like you know certain players like Rio Frank whatever they retire at the top they retire with that dignity of like

yeah I went out at the top right yeah I retired in the fucking Sunday leagues yeah but that's a nice way of describing Lisa so went out of the top, right? I retired in the fucking Sunday leagues. Yeah, but... That's a nice way of describing Lisa. So you retired after coming off the bench in the Champions League final.

Then what happens is, all of a sudden, you're a little bit slower than everyone else in the field. And everyone's sort of knocking the ball around you and you're not quite the player that you used to be. And not many clubs want to sign you so then you're sort of like scrambling about for

anyone that you might and then you end up not at the club that you want to be at I've got to be honest I'm really looking forward to

checking with him if it's all right to sort like this it's cool thanks for that thanks for guaranteeing I'll make him sound better I've got a friend who like this

is about five six years ago we're all we all went out races you know everyone sort of went back

to a pals house after we were having some beer and a few booze got a bit

wavy a bit boozy I know how it goes and our friend confessed to us that he was a

virgin right and he's like so how old is this so we'd have been

37 at the time I kind of respected him more than anyone else I've ever met in my life because he just came out of it. He just dropped it. How did the conversation lead to that point? Was everyone talking about shagging or something like that? Well, I think we were talking about our why,

like, you know, settling down and our lives and stuff and sort of like your pal that you're talking about, there's a couple of guys who sort of, you know, a couple of fellas who've been divorced, whatever, people were talking, you know, it's sort of chat like your pal that you're talking about, there's a couple of guys who sort of, a couple of fellas who've been divorced, whatever, people talk, you know, it's sort of chat, you know, it's sort of chat that adults have. And then he just came out of it, out of nowhere.

And what was your response? I'm hoping you're going to tell me that you're incredibly supportive and lovely about it. Yeah, man, I was just like, actual shock, if I'm honest with you. Like, because, like, he's been caught up in all the bravado of being a fucking you know playing in the same football team and everything and he's always like he's always said that he's been a bit

of a you know he's had girlfriends and he's had people around him and out of nowhere he just dropped that yeah and you're like wow fuck to be fair it stuck the room there was a look there was a couple of dickheads there there will be the truth is no matter how good your group of mates are, groups of males are a difficult beast to tackle when it comes to things like that. Yeah. But then I've seen him subsequently a couple of times and he seems like he's just made a...

That's just it now. He's just like, fucking... Yeah, that's it. I don't know whether he's asexual or he's just like... Well, he might well be. He might well be. He's just got no intention of losing his virginity. But now he's probably held on to it for so long,

he just thinks, oh, fuck it, I might see if I can just get through life. I guess the thought of sex is quite daunting now for him, right? The thought of sex is quite daunting full stop, I think. I mean, the first time that you do lose... Well, not the first time you do lose your virginity, because he doesn't grow back, but when you lose your virginity, sort of, you know time that you do lose, well, not the first time you do lose your virginity, it doesn't grow back. But when you lose your virginity, sort of, you know, that that moment where you think, where you think you're close to losing your virginity.

It's such a, it's such a heady fucking like weird fucking moment, isn't it? It's going to happen. I'm getting my dick out now. I'm going to, I'm going to put it, I'm going to put it inside of a JJ. It's inside of a JJ now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm losing my virginity. I'm losing my virginity at this moment.

It's actually happening. I'm no longer a virgin. I'm no longer a virgin. Insane. You know what it's like? I actually screamed that out loud, by the way. That wasn't in my head. You know, it's like, you know when you go on a

big roller coaster yeah and it's like you've got all the little bit to take it up to the top bit where it's just about to drop and you're a bit like the anxiety of going i'm not sure if i should have gotten this this i'm like this this feels quite actually it was a lot i don't know if i'm mentally prepared for this thing and then by the time you get to the top you're like you're just in it i didn't i i found it for years the most anxious thing yeah i mean i should genuinely look at my friend and i'm like i felt like just going you know what mate it's great but isn't the big fuss that everyone's it's a bit like you know people are like you know it's like you and yeah i make jeff you know you

like like yeah how heady and crazy you get about sort Wars or anything to do with Star Wars, right? It's just like, yeah, it's all right. I think any sexual partner I've ever had in my life has had to sort of contemplate whether having sex with me is worth me asking them if that was all right for them 27 times afterwards. It was, though. Was that really... And sort of how did it sort of compare to other times you've done? Was that OK?

You had a good time, didn't you? It's something you would do again. I'm like a fucking asking for a trip advisor of you. You're like a needy waiter. Yeah. Do you think you'd come again? Could you fill out this card? Could you fill out this card?

It just helps with tips and just improves the service going forward. I'm sorry that I spilt your soup. Sorry I spilt my soup so early. Can I share something? So we can go into this detail about this. I just want to deal with this very quickly. So for reasons that I can't go into details on, and it was down to me,

we had to pull, through no fault of mine, we had to pull our show at 21 Soho the last of the shows at 21 Soho and I had to pull my solo show the next day I just want to share this with you right bear it in mind we didn't say what and I can't say what the one but I will do at some point explain why is it but but it was serious right it was like you know there's no way that we could have done the show and I hate pulling shows and we were having a fucking great week great days that was Tom I'm going to say this you know some of my favorite times at work in recent I hate pulling shows, and we were having a fucking great week. Great days. That was, Tom, I'm going to say this to you now,

some of my favourite times at work in recent years, man. It was just fucking so much fun doing brand new stand-up with one of my best mates. It doesn't get much better than that. Let me shout out all the crowd that coached both nights. Except for three people. They know who they are. Yeah, there's three people who are absolute eggheads. And also, shame on you for your behaviour after,

if it wasn't enough to almost try and completely destroy one of the shows, you then became so aggressive with all of them. And also, like, it's a weird thing, like, the young lad who was sort of in charge of sort of, like, I guess our security, he was, like, coming in, he was, like, he guess, our security. He was like coming in. He was like he was like full on. They'd been grabbing at him and

quite aggressive to him. He was coming through to the green room area and they were like trying to chase after him. Siri. Oh, by the way, I've changed my Siri to an Indian accent. Have you? Yeah, hold on. Let me just show you. I didn't realise you could do it, but you can do it. Hold on.

Hey, Siri, what's the time? It's 8.54am. You can hear that? That's genius. What other accents can you have? I think you can have a woman's voice, a standard British. Oh, wow. Yeah. Anyway, shows are cancelled, right?

Shows are cancelled. I get a message from a woman. Now, this woman, just to give some context, has messaged me regularly, sort of like, big fan, enjoyed this, enjoyed that. This is the message she sent me after the shows were cancelled, right? Yeah. So angry to turn up to 21 so early to find out your gig was cancelled.

The cancellation went to my junk mail. I feel like poking you in your other eye, a very angry fan. Oh, wow. Jeez. I mean, that is fucking full on, isn't it? It's so aggressive. Let me just say, actually, a number of people messaged who had travelled some way for the gigs.

Yeah, sorry. I'm so sorry. Upset, obviously. And shout out to all of them. And I messaged every one of them back to say, look, next time we do a gig, me and Romesh are looking at a number of places in the north and I rest assured wherever we are,

we'll make sure that people who had tickets and couldn't get there and had to travel or didn't have to, whatever, you'll be looked after. As Romesh says, there's nothing we could do. And as I said to anyone who messaged, and shout out to all of you sweet souls because you're all very decent people.

You're all understood, really. Aside from that, quite vicious. There were loads of supportive messages, weren't there? Yeah. But then it's just, man, you know what? I'm not even going to focus on that bellend who's done that because that's just not on. It's not on. It's not on.

It's not on. It's not in the keeping of the wolf for now. I think we celebrate the masses who walk around with smiles on their face knowing that we'd never

ever want to let anyone down. We do though. We do frequently but we don't want to. Yeah. But they're all people we're related to or friends.

I thoroughly enjoyed it being back on stage with you. Mate, it was such a... It felt very liberating. I actually think that was some of my favourite times I've ever had on stage. Mate, it was so much fun. It was so much fun. I do think the best bit of doing stand-up

is when you're running in new stuff. I think like... Oh, mate. Like when you go on tour, touring is really fun and it's like one of my favourite things to do. I probably prefer that to doing most stuff that I do in my work. But when you're in the tour, you've got the show locked in pretty much. I mean, you do deviate from it, but it is pretty much locked in.

But think of an idea that day and saying it on stage. And when he gets that first laugh, what a fucking buzz, man. It's incredible. It was high fives all around, man. Good couple of beers had. It was, yeah. Oh, you know what as well, man? I went to China.

After our show on Wednesday night, I went to Chinatown. I went to Wonky. Shout out to all the staff. I know for a fact that none of the staff at Wonky has listened to this, but shout them out anyway because I love them. Ron, like, I would say,

without any shadow of a doubt, it's the most gluttonous i've ever been in my life wow and that is a big shout so talk me through what you what'd you eat what'd you eat i went with my pals yeah tommy power were you were you not able to were you not able to get hold of me or something it's just uh no in all fairness if you want me to get into it like literally you i had to stand with a load of people chatting to them. I looked around, and you had just gone. I was there with Antonia, and the guys were off the curb.

We were having, like, a chat. I was like, where's Rom? You're like a fucking magic act. I've fucking been in a friendship with a fucking, like, disappearing. Essentially, you know, this is the, I'm going to make it cool for you, because I know that you need this in your life right now.

You're essentially Batman. I feel like fucking Commissioner Gordon in our friendship sometimes. I'm having a conversation with you, we're having a right laugh, I look around and you're gone. Can I tell you honestly... And it's always when the fucking shit hits the fan

and Tony's like, oh, there's some people outside, I want a picture. Oh, where's Batman? Oh, he's fucking snuck off in his... No, no, no, listen. ...back of the building by Jim. No, listen, listen.

Let me just explain what happened here, okay? Because I didn't realise this was such a sore point. Basically, we went to leave. We need to be shown out the back door because there were some aggressive types like banging on the door to the green room, right? So we were shown out the back door. And then what happened was, I think...

So I thought I was walking out with you, right? This is genuinely what happened. So I thought I was walking out with you. It's genuinely what happened so I thought I was walking out with you it's like a trail of us the girls from off the curb you make this sound a lot more entourage than it actually was yeah anyway there's a couple of girls from off the curb sorry that's really bad

Faye and Tony and Holly all looking thinking why have we got to walk around with these dickheads so we can go and get a beer they're all desperate to go for dinner and we're like oh yeah we need to walk around with these dickheads so we can just go and get a beer? So they're all desperate to go for dinner. And we're like, oh, yeah, we need to be walked out, actually. So anyway.

It was so that they had to come and look after us because there were three aggressive women banging on the door. So then what happened was, is I walked out. And I think you got held up in a conversation. And when I got outside, those three women that were in the show were waiting for us out by the door and so I got collared by them right and so then what happened was is they asked for a photo and then as seems to be happening a lot to me recently started getting aggy with me for the face I was doing in the photo and saying I wasn't sort of committing to the photo well enough and the photo

wasn't good enough and blah blah so then i said i did i did i reckon rough estimate nine photos with them right yeah and then and then other people came up and asked for photos and so i was doing photos and like oh cool i'm not complaining but nobody was a problem except for these three really drunk women so then i started to move away from them and what became clear as as long as i was waiting for you they were going to be asking for photos just non-stop just constantly and then having to go at me about the photo how the photo wasn't like it was just like quite it's quite they were absolutely battered they were hammered then i started walking away and holly said to me i'm going to walk you to the end here just because this is getting a bit like like, funky. And as I was walking, they were chasing after me, shouting at me.

It was mental. Wow. It was absolutely mental. Let's also reiterate that this show finished about quarter past seven. I know. It wasn't even a late night. It was mad. Fuck.

Yeah, they were, like, hammered. I came out to surprise you. So, sorry. So, can I just apologise? Apologise. That's fine. It's fine. It's fine. What keeps... I'm not sure what they even do now that it's a surprise. So sorry. So can I just apologise? Apologise. That's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

What keeps, I'm not sure what they even do now that it's actually vegan. It's really old school. Like it's, yeah. I went to Mildred's for dinner. You went to Mildred's?

Yeah. Oh, there we go. What do you mean there we go? Mildred's is very posh, right? No, it's not.

It's not posh at all. It's not posh. Mildred's, no, no, Mildred's is not posh or cool. It's, how much. It's very cool, isn't it? No, no, Mildred's is not posh or cool. How much is an average dinner at Mildred's? My main, by the way, this sounds bad that I know this,

but I do pay attention to stuff like this. My main is... Oh, no, you analyse a bill like no one else has ever met in their life. Don't say that. Don't say that. I don't, I don't. Okay, so Tom had the... No, I don't, no, don't, don't. Because people are going to... Pork belly. don't because people are going to

believe you how many beers did you have Tom because I counted two but I went out for a fag there's a half here there's a half pint no I do pay attention because I think I think vegan meals get a premium

stuck on them they get a posh get a premium stuck on them do you mean like yeah yeah they get they get they get a posh people's tax put on them do you know what i mean yeah so anyway i had i had i had that or they get a chef's like i can't be fucked to cook this yeah yeah i'll tell him it's 30 quid fucking hopefully they'll eat some meat then um i uh i get um i got a korean what was it a korean fried chicken burger, vegan obviously, with fries,

and that was 15 quid, which I think is quite steep for a burger and chips. But nowadays, that's kind of what you're paying in London. Do you know what I mean? Me and my guys, we sat down to a buffet, like a massive buffet.

I'd be out straight away then. I don't do buffets. But anyway, go on. It was loads of sharing food and all that 90 quid food and drinks everything

and that was a lot of food to the point where I think my tummy was full for at least 36 hours afterwards I crammed more food in because that's how I roll yeah because you don't want

to feel comfortable on the way home do you you want to be full of you want to be full of food and regret that's how I roll. Yeah, because you don't want to feel comfortable on the way home, do you? You want to be full of food and regret. That's what you want. You want to just be sitting there, you're just bashing your belly going, what have I done it again? Fuck, I'm done. You get a

crispy pork belly with hot duck barbecued on hot rice and that is about seven quid, six, seven quid. When you say hot rice, what do you mean, hot rice? Is it spicy? No, no, no, no, just hot. The meats are cold on the top, and then you get hot rice.

I'd say anyone who likes their barbecued food and their Chinese cuisine, get yourself down to Wong Kee's and get that dish. Is it Wong Kee's or Wong Kee's? dish in your plate. Is it Wong Keys or Wong Keys? Because you've pronounced it differently throughout this story. I'm not, Wong Keys, I think. How's it spelt? Well, it's W-O-N-K-E-I-S.

Wong Keys. Wong Keys. I think. Okay, all right. When I was a youngster, my father's best friend, well still is, Willie, who's like,

had Chinese restaurants all around the area I was brought up in, Koshore and Sutton, Kingston. And, we used to celebrate Chinese New Year, so we used to go to Wong Kee's with him. And,

we, yeah, it was just been one of my favourite times as a kid, we'd all go downstairs, at Wong Kee's. It was the first time I'd tried chicken feet. So how do they prepare the chicken feet? Like deep fried.

Deep fried. And then you actually eat, like, you bite into the, you eat the whole thing? Yeah, I mean, look, you're nibbling between the toes. There's not much meat on it. Are you serious? Mate, it's genuinely one of my favourite. Chinese New Year, I love. I love the food.

Genuinely, I love just sitting around and just watching people eating and having fun. Okay. Any big celebration of food, I love. Yeah. But this particular visit to Wonky's was the most gluttonous you've ever been there? Mate, it's the most gluttonous. I think it was buzzing after coming out of the show out of the show yeah um i knew that i couldn't i mean the way you were talking it's like i hadn't been on stage i mean it's just like whoa

another fucking show in the bag sort of sat back like fucking you were still if i'm honest with you you're still going through the rider and working out who spent what why are you doing people people people hold up no no no tom had two coca-colas and one bag of forks crisps people are going to believe you you keep saying this hey you've got that vibe that's all do i really have the vibe of being tight-fisted no you can be generous at times okay that's right that makes it sound like i'm not. No, you can't. When we were in Dublin, you brought the first round and let everyone know about it.

You know what I'm saying? Drinks for everyone on Romesh. Okay, beer for all of the crew and for Tom and myself. And then you just sat on the edge of your seat down to your pint and was going oh plane leaves in a minute is someone else going to buy a round I'll get you a beer on the plane

that leaves us just enough time for me to be fully reimbursed for my initial investment have you ever been out with anyone who's brought a drink like who's brought a round and then they're going home and they go do you want another do you want another beer before you go I'll just get the money what yeah I've got a mate who does that I don't want to judge people because people are going through going home and they go, do you want another beer before you go? I'll just get the money. What? Yeah, I've got a mate who does that.

I don't want to judge people because people are going through it. You know, people go through it. Yeah, no, no, no. But he's been doing that since fucking 1997. I remember we were, my group of mates were like, there was a girl that,

I think my brother or some, one of the guys used to go to school with and she started coming out with the lads. Yeah. Like it's all blokes in her. And there and there's nothing you know no issue with that at all like she'd come out a lot and then we bumped into somebody she knew who said um i don't know if this is bad or not actually who said oh yeah blah blah said they love coming out of you because they've been coming out of you for six months and never bought a drink. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, oh, is that?

That doesn't... It's such a kick in the cock, that, isn't it? Because it's like a little feeling. Well, it did change the... It did undermine the whole... It didn't undermine the whole last six months, I wouldn't say. We had a guy when I was growing up called **** used to come out of us.

He never... Don't have to name him. Don't have to name him. Absolutely don't have to name him. JT, can you bleep that out, used to come out of us. He never came out anyway. Don't have to name him. Don't have to name him. Absolutely don't have to name him. JT, can you bleep that out, please? Yeah, go on. He never brought a drink the whole time. Yeah.

Right. We came out. Like, he was also, he was like, he just never, ever, ever wanted, he just didn't want to work. He used to say, like, I think working's for mugs. I don't think there's,

I don't think there's, I don't think that's that bad a statement. But I mean, if you're, if working's for much... Yeah, but he was, by the way, in the top five handsome people I've ever seen in the flesh. Right, OK. He was beautiful. He had incredible eyes.

You think I'd be in the top 100? Mate, you'd be in my top three. Because, you know why? Because of your spirit. It's the sort of thing that your mum says to you and then you go off to school feeling like you've got a bit of spring in your step and then you get rejected all over again.

To the fucking Greg sausage roll that starts to get to the side of your head from the fucking upper floor of the bus. Took that sausage roll with spirit, you wanker! You told one of your mates and he's let everyone know that that's what your mum said to you then he started getting called spirit as a nickname sticks with you for years they call you spirit because you're so deep now about 10 years ago

my mum said that i was quite attractive because i was that sort of spirit you were laughing it just ricocheted from club wall to club wall oh god but he was but you know he used to do a thing because my group of friends at the time I think we were all

none of us like you know none of us were aesthetically pleasing probably you know we needed to re-up and we needed a real

handsome face within our group so he joined the group as like the sort of he was our sort of like handsome friend right so very charming but he'd get dates and because he didn't work So he joined the group as like this sort of, he was a sort of like handsome friend. Right.

So very charming. Um, but he'd get dates and cause he didn't work. Right. He would then basically borrow money off us to go on his dates and these dates. And you'd happily given the money because he's the alpha, right? It would be.

Yeah. This is, this is one of the most trend. Right. His mom was a club singer. So she used to go travel all over, um, sort of Spain and England

singing in clubs she had a relatively pretty nice house where we used to all live and he used to basically have this free house from the age of about 15 so we used to all have jobs and we used to go to his house and he'd go on a date

and we'd all basically pitch in and give him enough money to go out for this really nice date and he'd come back and he'd go on a date and then we'd all basically pitch in and give him enough money to go out for this really nice date and he'd come back and he'd just be like yeah it went really really well actually yeah I'm going to definitely see her again

so sort of probably need like another 30-40 quid to sort of take her out again and we were all like oh wow yeah yeah oh god I really hope

that it works like we're an industry working for him just to have a love life does every group of blokes have a bloke like that because i had we had a bloke like that who cameoed in the group for about a year or so just really fucking good looking geezer and he would just do stuff that none of us could do do you mean like i mean my brother i did my brother the force is strong in my brother when it comes to that sort of thing. He's pretty good.

But this guy used to, like, we'd go out and he just, like, he would talk to girls and they would talk back to him. It was like magic. It's like having a fucking Avenger as one of your mates. Do you know what I mean? It was mental. You know the other thing about him? He could dance like I've never seen. That's a big skill.

That's a big skill. He was the first person I met as well who could DJ properly. Like, yeah, DJ. He used to be able to turn up at a party he'd have basically why would he need money? he was amazing on the decks, he could dance and he was really really

really really really charming why would you need money? I still question, I haven't seen him for fucking maybe 20 years, I still question now whether he's got a job or he's just got a fucking sad group of blokes like we were who were in their 40s

who are paying for him now and he's got three kids and they're essentially working in a sort of like sweatshop just working to keep his his life going in the way it has. He's sort of got an industry

or whatever he just started. Maybe he went on to start Gymshark. What, what, what, how much easier

do you think, do you think life is if you're hot? Oh man. I think it's big, right? It's a big message. In terms of customer service, getting jobs, just how people respond to you generally in everyday walks of life.

It is an absolute game changer. Yeah. You know, the only way I could say it is like, me and you come back off holiday, or we've lost a little bit of timber, or we wear a nice shirt, and you get like an hour's window where you can look into sort of another world and go oh I'm not I don't feel as bad as I usually do yeah and that's not even hot I'm just saying we look a little bit better I mean I mean we do we do have a version

of it without being sort of too disgusting about it but being recognized does give you an insight into what it like what it must have been like to have been attracted it's not the same like we've had to you yeah we have had to graft to get recognized because we're so like we're both recognized because of the fact that we're both we've always been at the bottom right as i said before me and you at me and you if if if we were if life was a dustbin me and you would be that sort of we'd be the bits that fell through the bin bag and we're resting at the bottom of the bin. Yeah, you know when you take the bin out and then you just get this sort of smelly dribble on your

joggers and you think, what the fucking hell's that? That's me and Tom. That's Tom and Rob. That's the wolf and owl. That's the wolf and owl on the inside of your thigh there. But if you're really hot, you just, yeah. But you know James LaFronte? You know James LaFronte? You know James LaFronte. Oh, my God.

I mean, that geezer. What a good-looking bloke. But also, James is different because James is hot inside and out. He's like one of the nicest people you've ever met. It does annoy me. Look, I love James, but why has he got a personality? It's so annoying. Do you know what I mean?

Me. Why is he bothered? Also, he's funny. He's kind. Yeah. You look at him, you're just like, fucking hell. His mum has done an absolute storming job on James. Because he, like, I don't think you could, like, you know,

he's been my best friend since we were about 14. Yeah. Like, for most of my life, I've been in a situation where someone will come up to me and just go, oh, God, your mate's so hot. And I know who they're talking about. I know exactly who they're talking about. And the difference between the person I was talking about and James is James has just been completely oblivious to it.

Completely oblivious. Never taken advantage of it. Whereas that's where James and I differ, because if I was attractive, I'd just be constantly noticing, oh, I think she's checking me out. I think she's checking me out. I think he's checking me out. Fucking hell, I can barely sit down.

I get excited if a dog snarls at me. Oh, God. Today. Something is coming. Kong, Godzilla, they can feel it. Fight together. We're teaming up. Or is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it.

Fight together. It's human up. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis?

Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca.

Order up for Rebelsis. Or visit Rebelses.ca. Order up for Rebelses. A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony

in Pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at michigan.org. Right, should we do some emails, my G? Let's do it, my bruv. Okay. This is... Oh! Just carrying on, by the way, from what we talked about before,

Pebblegate. Yeah. This has gone massive, this arse pebble thing. Yeah, let me just say as well anyone who's fucking bringing it to the bone of contention it's everywhere, there's been a whole big thing at the moment about people sticking potatoes

up their butts, I don't know if you've seen that no I haven't seen that why are people sticking potatoes up their butts same sort of thing, people are freezing potatoes and sticking them up their butts, I do not advocate that, okay and also I must say this someone messaged me

won't name them, great person, sweet sweet soul going crazy really they said why don't you have a little rockery in your garden and that's where you use an arse pebble and then you put your arse pebble out to the garden after you've used it once that is advice, it's sad advice

and I think it's advice I'm going to take so thank you so much what a nice little rockery after you've used it once. That is advice. It's sad advice, and I think it's advice I'm going to take. So, thank you so much. What a nice little rockery for Catherine to look at from your house. Oh, that's Tom's arse rockery, that is. And gets bigger every time we order from the Crown of India. It's a mountain.

Can I tell you something? By 2028. I would rather have chips would you would i take it with me if i moved house i'd have to wouldn't i actually it's quite nice to leave it there yeah well i wouldn't tell the prospective buyers no um i um i would rather have i would rather eat chips made from a potato that's been up someone's ass than sweet potato fries there you go i said it. Wow. Honestly, I'm not having them at all.

I've never seen you this angry about anything. I just hate sweet potato fries. First of all, that's bullshit. This is another one of your things. Why did I talk like that? It's another one of your things. Oh my God, that is awful. I hate sweet potato fries. I do hate sweet potato fries. I just think they're awful. I hate them potato fries. I do hate sweet potato fries.

I just think they're awful. I hate them. I don't want them as an option. I think you get them crispy enough, and you get a nice bit of fucking Himalayan salt on those bad boys. A little bit of sriracha spritz over them. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah.

But all of that you've just described is better if you have it on regular fries. Oh, of course, of course. Mate, you can't beat old school chips. Yeah. You you can try but you won't yeah like let me just say to any scientists out there any fucking new velcro's in bakers i'm gonna say now or cookers right let me just say now leave it with chips mate just leave it what does that know all these polenta fries and zucchini fries just just leave it to the potato. He's been holding out society for the last, I don't know,

400 years or whatever. Thousands of years probably even, actually. Just leave and let the potato do his thing and just go on and do something. I'll tell you what, mate. Have a look at broccoli because broccoli's letting the side down all day long. What are you talking about? Broccoli is an absolute disgrace to any plate.

What a load of shit. What a load of shit. I eat broccoli because I have to. I still look at broccoli like I did when I was, like, first learning to eat. I eat it because I know it's good for me, but it's the first thing that's gone on my plate. I just think broccoli can be. Look, at least broccoli is not masquerading as a junk food, right? You eat broccoli.

You eat broccoli. Broccoli knows what it is, okay? It's a healthy option. You know what I think? I think the reason you're being like this is because if you were on a plate, you would be broccoli. Why are you so horrible to me? I'm not.

I'm joking. You know I love you more than anything. You're so horrible to me. No, yeah, but you... Listen, listen. I'm telling you this now. Broccoli, right? Stir-fried, chili flakes, nice bit of seasoning,

bangs, okay? That's all I'm going to say about it, right? Yeah, but that's the same thing with sweet potato fries yeah okay look i'm gonna say it now i'm gonna throw it out there mate if i go to your house right and you're cooking and you're going to trouble put some sprouts on my plate i'd literally get up shake you by the hand and i'd tell everyone i know that you're broccoli broccoli is better than sprouts no way way, that's insane. Yes, 100%, all day, all day long. Okay, turn it. Better than broccoli.

I think every vegetable, zucchini, eggplant, everything. Do you know what I mean? Sorry, Chad. What's zucchini and fucking eggplant? Do you mean courgette and aubergine yeah man that's what I mean oh my god if I was in a nightclub and you brought broccoli

out with you I'd just say you're going to have to tell your mate to go home mate he's fucking it's good to know because I'm often carrying around a fucking

bag of broccoli to vault okay this one cat wolf for now this is from the floppy eared rabbit uh i'm 27 years old and one of your international listeners from frankfurt germany wow and i just got sweet inside oh god i've got the fucking giggles um and i just i discovered your podcast a few months ago since

then i've been listening to all episodes and i caught up with the current one so i thought i'd email in before i get to my actual question i need to weigh in on pebble gate i suffer from hemorrhoids every now and again and then and have a pebble i keep in a little box in the freezer whenever i have hemorrhoids i take my pebble i stick it up my bum and i keep it there for a few minutes due to the cold temperature the hemorrhoids contract and move in again an absolute lifesaver wow wow yeah that is validation yeah it is validation germany it's validation yeah i want to get a flight out to frankfurt right now literally get there take a pebble of my own and then just chink pebbles like a toast okay what a wonderful evening that would be count me out uh on to my actual question so anyway congratulations tom

it turns out that there's actually medical medical evidence here that it works uh on to my actual question i'm currently working in a full-time job i'm doing a master's degree on top of that i'm finding it really hard to find time to relax on the weekends that's the only time i have to write my thesis i need to hand it by the end of september so my question is what do you do to relax during really stressful periods grateful for any advice yeah floppy ear rabbit number one i i just feel this kindred spirit with you right now i just feel like hands across the ocean uh you know and all that sort of stuff. You know, two great minds. So shout out for you and shout out your people for all the hard work that it's doing with your hemorrhoids.

I would say that I actually struggle a little bit with this myself. I'd be lying if I had an answer to this, because I've actually, this week, me and Catherine have had long chats about me not being able to relax and me not being able to, you know, I've been, me and Ron, you know, we were busy with the gigs and I've been busy with other stuff. And sometimes you get caught up in, you know, work and, you know, wanting to work as hard as you can.

I think some part of that for me, as is Ron, I think we both suffer from this imposter syndrome. Anyway, this isn't about me, champ. It's about you. I'd say the most good work anyway is, is done. If you can find a way of actually sort of chilling out and, and,

and Zen is sending out. I find like going for a long walk. I find it's amazing. I think like, um, having a little bit of time, time away from your desk, uh,

just to go and do something with a loved one or, you know, just to go out to some friends, a couple of drinks. Um, I think you sort of, I think the, think the probably the worst way for me of and if you're trying to work and i do it all the time and it never really helps me is just sitting in front of the computer willing yourself to be able to do something and bullying yourself and going right i need to get

this done i need to get that done i need to get this done and nothing ever really comes of it because you'll just end up disliking the thing that you're doing uh sitting at you know i'm blessed that what i do i love what i do for a living but at times it can be it can be quite taxing so yeah i think it's just sitting down enjoying it but taking a little bit of time taking some time for yourself um taking some time with family and then when you when you do go to do thesis or you do go to do your work you've had that little respite so i could have probably done that in about fucking half the time i did but floppy above it i love the way you did it love you june uh floppy and rabbit thank you so much for validating tom's uh pebble advice um this is my advice to you uh with regards to relaxation

it's something that's really helped me is it doesn't matter what you do because there's loads of different things you can do to relax. What does matter is that you compartmentalise the time. And what I mean by that is when you're working and you've got a lot of work on, which it sounds like you do, the mistake that people make is they try and just find relaxation time mixed in around their other things. What you want to do is if you've got to work on your thesis,

allocate some time to work on your thesis. And when you've done that time, you go, I'm in relaxation time now. And you do not think about work. You just completely disconnect from work entirely. And that is about relaxation, because I've had days where I've had days off and I thought I could do some writing today. But I do also want to relax. And then I've fallen in between those two stools for the entire day. And I get to the end of the day and I haven't done any work. And I also want to relax. And then I fall in, in between those two stools for the entire day. And I get to the end of the day and I haven't done any work. And I also haven't relaxed. So my advice to you is,

is to separate and allocate yourself some proper protected relaxation time, completely protected. You're not even looking at anything work related. And I think you'll find that makes a massive difference. And then whatever it is you want to do beyond that is up to you really but whatever you do commit to it like you're committing to work

so if that's playing video games you commit to playing video games like if you're committing to your thesis do you know what I mean and yeah that would be my advice to you thank you very much for your email here is a bit of an uplifting little ting ting. Oh, my favourite.

This is from The Leopard and the Koala. Oh! There's a photo with this, which I won't share, but it's lovely. Dear Wolf, Owl and Swat. What's your photo? Just describe the photo, please. OK, it's The Leopard and the Koala, who are a man and a woman who are in a couple, sat on their honeymoon.

And they've both got sunglasses on. They look like they're having a really relaxing time. He's got quite a drippy watch on. She looks lovely, actually. Very nice summery outfit. They look like they're very much in love. Shoes, sandals, flip-flops? The shoes aren't in the thing.

But based on their outfits, I'm going to guess flip-flops. Oh, nice, nice, nice. Okay. the shoes aren't in the thing but but based on their outfits i'm going to guess flip-flops based on what they're on nice nice uh okay uh dear wolf allen swan i'm sat listening on my honeymoon with my gorgeous wife the koala i just wanted to say a big thank you for all the positive vibes this podcast has been dishing out for the last year i've been listening from the start it's been a highlight of my week to listen to the two of you i'm a fairly big bloke always have been beach holidays have always come with a tinge of self-consciousness about showing off my body. Oh, mate, we've been there. The one thing that's always given me some confidence to combat this has been my hair.

I've been lucky enough to be blessed with a strong hairline, so much so that it's something that I regularly got compliments about and made me feel good about my overall appearance. The Kiwara and I finally got married in February after having our original date cancelled because of lockdown. On the day, I felt great. Drippy suit, good hair, and looking the best I had in a while. However, a week after the wedding, I developed alopecia.

My hair started falling out in larger and larger chunks. The one thing that's always been my self-esteem saving grace had given up on me. Having tried numerous treatments from the doctors, nothing seemed to be working, and the bald spots got larger and more frequent across my head. As the honeymoon approached, I felt more and more nervous about being sat around the pool with my leopard print head and dad bod on show. I decided the only option was to shave it all off and wait for it to all grow back, hopefully, at some point.

I decided to Google bald men with beards. This is wonderful, by the way. To give me an idea of how I might look and who should appear in the search but the wolf in all his big, bald, beardy, drippy glory. That was it. I decided to do it that day and brave the shave a day before we float on honeymoon.

I'm now sat behind by the pool, proudly sporting my shaved head and dad bod and feeling the most relaxed and least self-conscious i have for a long oh my god man this is so fucking wow literally getting me too seeing the wolf rock the look and hearing the countless you do use and amazing advice you two have dished out on the podcast has been a major factor in helping make the decision to own my look so thank you also the biggest shout out to the gorgeous koala who makes me feel amazing every day no matter what thanks again my guys the leopard and the koala wow man oh my god what an email what an email that's the top shelf right there baby that's like genuinely i feel like i don't even know what

to say like i'm kind of speechless and like i shout you out because you're an absolute legend man that's like that's a phenomenal thing to write in and say and good for you you know what i'm gonna say this to you i'm gonna say this to you leopard you could not tell from your photo you look fucking great you look so happy you two are such a gorgeous couple you could not tell from your photo. You look fucking great. You look so happy. You two are such a gorgeous couple. You couldn't tell that you'd been going for that. You look brilliant, man.

I'm so, oh, my God. I feel like I've had, like, a fucking good mood fucking injection or something like that, man. Mate, mate, that's, you know what? Genuinely, I feel like so fucking, like, that's crazy, man. That's, like, what a beautiful thing. And, like, you know, like, people like that that i just find inspirational like that is i do i totally agree i totally agree that's an incredible thing right there and like absolutely there's nothing really you could like he's both of them legends and so and you know what makes you really happy

is that they found each other they've got each other and that's it that's that's that's what life's all about so you know what i just toast you both for a long happy marriage and um yeah so much love to you both uh i'm gonna say this on behalf of the wolf in our podcast we would love to get your honeymoon present so if you give us your address on email we'll send you a little bundle of merch uh to say congratulations. Thanks so much for email, man. Oh my God, I feel incredible. Wow. How are you going to top that?

Well, let's not put pressure on the... I wouldn't want to follow that with one of my sum ups. So, yeah. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in

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Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. This episode is brought to you by Tresemme. Want silky smooth hair that's still full of natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection

is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresame.com to learn more. So this is an advice request, and it's quite a long email, okay? Okay. So I'm going to get my best reading voice out on here. Dear Wolf, Al, Swan, and Cat, Sprocker Spaniel...

Oh, fuck my life. Sprocker Spaniel here would appreciate anonymity, and I apologize for length of this email, first of all can I say that I love the podcast as someone who's never into any podcast, yours was the first I gave any time to, it's the best decision I ever made, it's almost served as a gateway drug into other, oh dear that's a shame as I listen to a few others now but still none hold a candle to this one, anyway

I'm in need of some in-law advice I thought it said law advice, I thought fuck you know you really have turned to the wrong people and who better to turn to than you sweet souls to provide i live with my wife and four-year-old daughter my mother-in-law has basically started this thing where she asked if she can stay at our house whenever she visits oh my god on top of it being weird as fuck to think this is normal there are a few other things that make this even more annoying to me one she separated from my father in law is an absolute legend by the way and remarried another guy a few years ago i can tell

my wife isn't fully 100 on this guy but it's like her mum is trying to force us all into loving this guy two we live in a three bed house but the spare third bedroom has no bed and serves as my wife's dressing room where the fuck her mum thinks she's sleeping is beyond me three they live within a 20 minute drive from us so they can easily go home i'm all for people stopping a bit i'm still i will for people stop it a bit later but when it comes to bedtime called me old-fashioned but having other adults in my house and get ready for bed makes me feel like I'm in a Louis Theroux documentary. Lastly, they aren't the best company.

They sit on their phones for 75% of the time on Facebook. They're the sort of people that don't watch factual news, but like to get their news from Facebook. You know the type. The other 25% of the time, they seem to fish for arguments with me and my wife or just disagree with anything we say or make comments that will annoy us.

The mother-in-law's hubby is the kind of guy that's always done better than you if you've got a few of choc ice he's got a magnum if i'm going to tenerife he's going to 11 a reef a few examples we've made the effort on an epic sunday race the type that's basically a christmas dinner in march they've come to the table making shitty comments like i would have preferred mash to roast potato or if i for a beer it's like nah don't drink that beer we've seen him drinking said beer brand in his own house since this when we called him out on it the prick tried gaslighting us denied he'd ever said it another example involves this very podcast oh hello a few months ago i recommended it to him you should listen to the wolf for now with romesh and tom he replied nah i can't stand them who is

this i took offense to this i won't hear some dickhead speak ill of my kid so i asked him if he even knew who you were spoiler alert he got all laggy started acting like i was some cheeky little kid for daring to ask him and just desperately tried to change the subject as i pressed he refused to answer and then he refused even resorted saying he never heard it in the first he never said it in the first place i'm only giving the tip of the iceberg here but hopefully you can see how frustrating this is becoming anyway my wife has tried to politely tell them that while they can come as often as they like we prefer if they didn't stay this This hasn't worked. And they're basically telling us they're staying at our house in a few weeks' time.

Do I step in? Do I tell my partner what she should say? Do I put up with it, bottle up the frustration, and let it contribute towards a massive heart attack later in life? Oh, God. Again, any ideas or suggestions would be appreciated. You're sincerely the Sprocker Spaniel. Wow, Sprocker. You have got a fucking humongous helmet in your life.

You know what, bro, this is very, very close to home. So I don't know how much good advice I can give you because, and I don't know how much of this I can really talk about, but I've literally been in exactly your situation. And the way I handled it means that we just don't have anything to do with our mother-in-law and my stepfather-in-law. At our wedding, our seats were shared, the food was a very...

Literally, listening to your email is literally where I was five, six, seven years ago. The same sort of vibe about anything I liked, any films I liked, any football I liked, any films I liked would always be, you know, any football that I liked, players that I liked. Even to the point of even my career would be like, at that time, obviously, you talk five, six years ago, he was like, no, you'll never be on Strictly,

or you'll never be on the Junker. Wow. Are those the markers? Yeah. No, for him, that's what I mean. I was like, yeah, yeah, it was never an intention of mine to do either of those things. But if I'm honest, man, I bottled a lot of it up

and I just tried to be positive, tried to be nice, tried to get on with him. And Catherine is like, you know, the kindest, most lovely person. And she tried as well. And it just, in the end end just got to a particular situation when we were both like we can't actually do that it's like it's so hard on both of us but yeah we just sort of ended up basically all walking away and just like yeah and and now we we have very little to do with each other because i think we probably should have all sat down and talked about stuff

and we didn't we just let things skew and it probably was the worst way of doing it but if i'm going to be really honest my espanol friend i think there's a generation thing where certainly men of a certain age and maybe women not not so much but they you know it's really hard to get through to them it's really really difficult because they're so set in their ways and they're so they'd rather lose family friends loved ones they'll never admit they're wrong look man just in life and just this is a general thing just across everything you know and i'll sort of talk about this when i'm ready because it's something that sort of happened to me in the last week 10 days but the thing that i've sort of realized and it was really you know it's sort of reiterated reiterated by my on my mind,

is you have to spend time with positive people and people that make you feel better about yourself. I'm not saying you've got to run around sort of patting people on the back, but you have to spend time with people whose company you enjoy and people that don't make you upset or don't make you feel down. Because life is fucking short, man. It's so short, and it can just be snuffed away and it

can be gone at any which way or any time and any time you're spending with people who don't make you feel good about yourself and you're not making them feel good about yourself and it all feels a little bit toxic or negative it's just a waste of time you might as well just be making fart noises in the wind and just so for me have the conversation if he listens great if he doesn't fuck him great advice great advice uh sprocker spaniel here's uh my take on it is that you're gonna have i mean they're just annoying aren't they i mean this guy sounds like an absolute weapons grade prick but and those things you can't control you can't control what he's going to be like you can't control what a twat is what you can control is if they stay at your

house i think you have to point blank refuse and just go it's not a thing staying around the house is not it's not happening do you mean and i think you just have to say that you have to just be absolutely upfront about it and go and that's going to be awkward as fuck but i think what would you rather have one awkward conversation or have to deal with them coming around and staying over all the time? I mean, I don't... People staying over,

there's only a select number of people that I would be happy to have stay over at my house. And it has to be out of necessity. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like staying over at someone's... I don't know why people want to stay at people's houses. I get it if you go to see a friend

that lives miles away. In Scotland or something. Yeah, and everybody wants a drink or whatever, and you can't get back. I get that. But 20 minutes away, fuck off. Get a taxi. What are you doing?

What are you doing? Fuck off home. Do you know what I mean? It's just like... It's just mad. So I think, you know, just tell them's just like it's just mad so I think you know just tell them man they gotta go you gotta go

and yeah maybe I mean beyond that I would consider calling him out when he's been a prick my strategy is always to deal with it in a jokey way and I know Tom does this as well you know when you try and correct someone's behaviour by sort of pretending you're joking about it, but actually being serious.

But narcissists don't get that. Do you not reckon? No. Good luck, Sprocker Spaniel. Sounds awful. But based on what you've said in your email, he sounds like an absolute prick. You're not in the wrong here. So fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy. Okay, Tommy. Tommy D. Yo. We come to the end of another episode of The Wolf and Owl. Have you got something?

By the way, no is an acceptable answer. I should always... No, I've got something. Let's do it. Go for it. Good luck. Young Eaton Crust

was the most adventurous boy in his town. His town at times felt too small for him. He'd almost outgrown it by the age of seven or even eight. Well, he'd always dreamed of adventures on the wild, crazy sea. So at the age of 14 or 15, because this was the olden days and you could get away with working it when you were a bit younger, he joined a boat that was setting sail to try and find new lands and such. He got on the boat and strolled up to the captain and said,

I can't wait to see the ocean and all of the waves and the craziness and bedlam that it brings. And the captain said, young man, you're full of all of the waves and the craziness and bedlam that it brings and the captain said young man you're full of all of the ideas of craziness and bedlam but a lot of the time the sea runs steady and for days and for weeks as the captain said the sea runs steady and young crust got bored and used to look across and look out at sea and every now and again a seagull would fly past and that would just be a sign that there was no craziness and he'd moan and say oh my god i wish i wish i wish it was just going to be more crazy and then one day a storm hit it threw

the boat around like a little egg cup in a bath as someone gets into the bath and makes loads and loads of movements young cross was absolutely terrified he tried to find anywhere anywhere on the boat that he could uh that he could find some kind of steadiness and some kind of sound footing he was thrown from side to side and he fell on the floor. And the captain grabbed him and took him to his cabin and sat him down.

And Crust said, Oh my God, oh my God, it's so much more rough and so much more crazy than I ever thought. I'm terrified. And the old captain

looked him in the eye and said, This is what a storm is, young Crust. I've forgotten your first name. This is what a storm is, young crust. I've forgotten your first name. Eaton. Yes, listen, young Eaton. When we're sailing or navigating through life, it's always hard to just enjoy the settled moments.

We're always looking for a storm or some excitement but actually just to sit upon the water as we bob away and take in the seagulls and other stuff that flies around or is in the sea is a beautiful thing and then ethan as a tear rolls down his face looks at the old captain and says i'm gonna treasure every day on the boat where we're on settled water for now and the captain ruffled his hair and gave him a glass of rum and they waited for the storm to die down and when it did they both walked out upon the ship's deck and they looked across and they could see land and they could see for miles and miles. And young Eton Crust smiled, and he took in the serenity of what it was.

Sometimes it's fine just to bob along. Don't always look for the storm. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much, guys, for listening. JT, could you play us out of the podcast with a little bit of Camel Toe by Stylo G, please? Oh, I think everyone's going to love that tune.

Guys, take care of yourselves. We'll see you on the next one. Peace out. One love. Nice. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

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