Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 32: Tough Cops & Soft Water

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

We’re talking… a BO shirt update, spa-day podcasts, walking in London, happy dentists, New York hussles, oversharing at the gym, the amazingness of water softeners and a gritty Wolf & Owl police drama. Then some of your email questions on dealing with bullying, doorbell cameras, squeamish incidents and planning a wedding party playlist. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We are all connected. Discover Echo from Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. Echo. Thanks for presenting Partners Sun Life. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis?

Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... That's right! Did you know it's also covered by most private insurance plans? Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor

if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor. Or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. parts get severed and served bring your weak shit wear the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows fuck the censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheep's clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all you hear is a huff a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping

impressive in it the death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Oh, my goodness. Time for the Wolf of the Owl. Wolf of the Owl on the prowl. And we're in your face, doing our ting, doing our ting. It's Wolf of the Owl, we're doing our ting.

Look at that Emirates shirt. That fucking Arsenal shirt, boy. I thought I'd wear the shirt. It's a little pullback. That bicep is snuck out of the fucking shirt and it is popping hard, my boy. It's nice. It smells delightful, by the way, now that it's had a wash.

Have you washed it in a bit of Persil? A little bit of Persil, yeah. We got a few messages saying that some other people had bought the shirt and it smelled like that as well. Well, you think it's a shirt? Well, sorry, just to keep people up to speed, you're supposed to, if you're a professional broadcaster, do a catch-up, explain to people the situation.

I bought this Arsenal shirt and I put it on and it stank of BO and I wasn't sure if it was me or the shirt anyway it turns out that something about this shirt either there's a guy

at the factory who's trying them all on after like having a workout or something about the chemicals but it just does smell of BO apparently

when you first get this shirt so it now doesn't I'm delighted have they have Arsenal like released a statement saying it's maybe the drippiest,

nicest shirt you've ever seen, but it's going to make you stink? Imagine if you wore that just straight after taking it off the peg. You stuck it on. That's what a lot of people do, don't they? They get excited on the way to the game. They buy the shirt and stick it straight on.

And if it was a hotter day, I think in the cold, I mean, actually, to be fair, I think in the cold, I mean, actually, to be fair, I think in the cold, BO is more brutal. I think it's a lot more brutal. Yeah. I've brought stuff

and you get the smell of stuff. It's, yeah. BO is just so gross. And I've been, I've had a bit of a sort of like bug. I've been a bit run down this week. Some of the BO I've had, you know when you...

Poor Tommy. You know some of the, you get that ill BO. Yeah, you know, some of the, uh, you get that ill BO. Yeah. Yeah. That sort of stink. Yeah.

I think that's that sometimes that ill BO can be enough to actually transmit the disease. Yeah. You know, like some people, like it smells so ill and poorly that even smelling it will make you start to feel ill and poorly. Mate, I, the BO I had,

I think on Tuesday was just savage. Like, scary BO. Yeah. Like, I'd say it's in the top three BOs I've ever had in my life. Right. Without any doubt. Do you scrub your armpits quite thoroughly? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I give them a good washing. Do you use a loofer? I do use a loofer usually on my back and my butt. And your butt? Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the outside of your butt. Yeah, on the outside, yeah, yeah. You've not got a cracked loofer.

No, no, no. It would be quite good to get one of those really to loofer up. Yeah, but under my arm. You'd have to treat those as disposable, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah um i think i do i i have like two different well three different shower uh sort of implements within gels yeah so i have an armpit and sort of upper body then i have a lot more sensitive one for my lower region and then just sort of like a more chilled wife in my head and face well i have uh yeah i have similar actually i've got i have a curly hair shampoo yeah that that nourishes uh curls any

questions your hair looks nice you had it you slightly no i've just i've just got i've just got out of the shower so i'm not actually that happy with that um but um then i've got like a gentle shower gel to cleanse. And I use one shower gel for every region. You're washing your face? What are you washing your face with these days? Actually, it's interesting you say that. I've recently, is this embarrassing?

I've bought a new moisturising range of like. Don't be embarrassed by it. You can take care of your skin. So every morning and every night I'm using a cleanser. And then I'm putting like a probiotic oil on my face. Wow. And then in the mornings I moisturise, yeah. And then a bit of beard oil.

Yeah, I mean... Excessive? No, no, no, I think it's good. It's good. I like to rock out with... I have a cleanser that I use in the shower, but then I don't want to overly do my skin. I like to keep it...

You like to keep a bit of your natural musk, don't you? Yeah, and also i like to keep that rugged sort of look yeah like you know statham has that sort of rugged sort of i like you think what you think statham's not moisturizing you want to see no no no statham's not going through the process you're going through a hundred percent is i reckon he's got about six layers no no the last one's called rugged up or something like that no no statham statham will be probably more a wolf kind of vibe because he likes to keep...

Yeah, I think he's having a cleanse. He might have a little moisturised, but he's not using bio or what I'd imagine. Have you ever had snake venom on your face? Yeah, not deliberately. No, what do you mean? Snake venom. It's like there's a thing where you put snake venom on it,

it peels away a lot of the dead skin. Yeah, not really. I'd love to take you to it for a facial i'd love to i'd love to lie next to you both get facial i'd love that actually i wonder what i i actually i reckon that would be one of the better podcasts just us relaxed relaxedly getting a facial you know what would be really nice to do is having a spa day together and then after the spa day we do the podcast and see what kind of vibe it's a. That's a great idea. I can't imagine it'd be lower energy. If there's any spas out there, preferably London-based,

who want to get in touch with me and Romesh. Preferably London-based. Preferably Crawley-based, actually. I'm not going to Crawley for a spa. Why not? We can make a date of it. Yeah, we'll date your house. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Halfway, I'm already giving up an hour to give you London. Okay, fine. You love London. All right, London-based. London-based, London an hour to give you London. Okay. Fine. You love London. All right. London based, London based, London based. I love London.

Shout out London. Shout out London. It doesn't get enough. Love London. People don't talk about it enough. London had a tough week, man. It was,

it's, it's, it's been, it's, I think sometimes London just needs a little arm around it. You know, like there's that, that phenomenon of,

of Jap, I think it's Japanese people, excuse me if I'm being culturally ignorant here, who have an idea of what Paris is going to be like, and then they go to Paris, and then they have to deal with the psychological ramifications of Paris being what Paris is like, which is still nice, but it's romanticised, isn't it, in film? Yeah, yeah.

Whenever I watch The Apprentice, I always think they make London look much nicer than it is. Every film makes yeah like london looks like it's five streets big and what about you know a bit closer time for you the way paddington makes london look my god yeah yeah yeah paddington made prison look it's a richard curtis has fetishized it like that yeah but not in heels two minutes away from shoreditch and then if yeah i know yeah you you get to london you think oh i'm gonna do all the i'm gonna try and walk across this bit and it's like yeah you've got no chance son it's a 45 minute tube and you probably get called a i haven't been on the tube since covid i just walk everywhere yeah i've been walking as

well actually i uh once you stop using the tube this is really bad walk everywhere yeah i've been walking as well actually i uh once you stop using the tube this is really bad isn't it because i do respect the tube and think it's in a remarkable service and i i love the fact sometimes when i actually engage with the fact there's a series of underground tunnels that you can get it sort of starts to blow my mind a little bit but once you stop using the tube for any amount of time it becomes very difficult to then face doing it again actually i found i i to be fair i didn't i had a panic attack on the tube before covid about six eight months before covid which was horrible and since then even after then i was just like there's no i can walk nearly everywhere i need to go yeah you know i i would say how far because i always

look if i've got somewhere to go for a meeting or something, I'll always look to see what the walk is. What is the time on your map that would say, I'm going to do something else other than walk? Anything really over an hour and 20 minutes. Yeah. I think anything up to about an hour, I would walk. Yeah. An hour I think is pretty fine.

And I think for the most part, if you're central, you can get most places in an hour. Yeah. Welcome to Journeys Around London with Tony Robb. This has very much become like Bill Bryson kind of vibes. Yeah, it has a bit. It's gone a bit like... We've gone a bit Warm Bath podcast.

You know what I mean? Where it's not... You have it on in the background. You can do other stuff. It's nice to have on while you're making some bread or something. I need to shout you out, by the way, man. You changed my life this week. Why?

I went to the general dentist, bro. Oh, my God. Yes. Talk to me. Wow. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Bearing in mind that you've rinsed me quite heavily.

No, no, no. Number one, I didn't use a general dentist. I didn't have a fear of dentists. No i loved how you picked them up i was like look i need to go and see what these people are about yeah they are incredible like by the way this isn't paid this isn't an ad of no discounts we're paying for treatments so i'm paying for my shares but they are incredible you You know what I respect and I love and I've noticed

this week, right? Two things this week I had done and it's restored a lot of faith. I love people who love what they're doing.

That general dentist, every department you go to. They love it, right? The hygienist. Oh, the hygienist. She's loving teeth. Tony, the expert,

that's sort of almost like the arteta of teeth. Loving it. Sally, the woman you meet when you come in. They all's loving teeth. Tony, the expert, that's sort of almost like the arteta of teeth. Loving it. Sally, the woman you meet when you come in. They all love the teeth.

They're so passionate about teeth. Like, you can't help but leave there thinking, gosh, you know what?

Teeth are amazing. Okay. All right. Well, well, what I would say there is well done for after one visit

bigging them up more than i ever have done in the three years i've been going there so that's good there'll be a few of me about that also i i don't need as much work to my teeth as i originally thought so it's kind of cool well that's good news i needed a lot more so there you go it's a roller coaster isn't it um i uh i since we've done the last podcast because we recorded the last one before I have since the last recording been to New York, although this for quite a while ago and knew it was great.

But the reason I want to mention New York is I was essentially robbed. I've told you what sort of robbed by stealth. No, I wasn't mugged. Oh, pickpocketed. Not pickpocketed sort of worse than that. I kind of got pressured into handing over money. So basically what happened was I was walking through Times Square. Yeah.

And this guy came up to me. On your own? On my own, yeah, obviously. And then this guy came up to me and he said, where are you from? I said, London. And then he started signing a CD. He'd done some rap CD or whatever. So he goes, here you go, man.

And he goes, we're artists. And then all of a sudden, as he said that there was 10 of them around me. And he said, we're artists and you don't have to give us any money, but we thrive on donations. And I go, okay. I said, I don't really have the cash on me. You got robbed by a chugger. Well, hold on one second. Just hold on one second. Okay. Cause it's quite intimidating like to the point where i was sort of shaking afterwards okay all right no no i'm with you but yeah so they said he said there's an atm right there they followed me okay this is worse now i feel bad about smiling yeah so if you followed me to the atm told me how much to get out and then i gave him i gave him the cash and then he said, and then I thought

that was over. I'd paid for a seat. I don't have a CD player by the way. So I've paid well over the odds for the CD to sort of get away with it. And then he said, you're not going to sort my brother out as well. And then he handed me a CD. And then I said, I said, I'm not going back to the cash point. And then he said, I've got a card thing on my phone.

So I ended up paying him money. And then this other guy goes, mate, just hit me up 10 and I'll give you the change. And then he just took all the cash I had off me and then just turned around and like stood there and I knew I couldn't do anything cause I was going to get my ass handed to me. And then another guy came up to another one of them, came up to me and said, are you not good at what you're leaving me out as well. You're leaving me out. And then I just ran away.

I didn't run away. I walked away quite quickly. But it was bad. I mean, I sort of like got... It's horrific. I sort of got robbed with consent. It wasn't robbed with consent. That was a fucking gang attack. Yeah, it kind of was, yeah. Oh my God.

Like, did you start the conversation with the initial guy? Was that a conversation like where you were the conversation with the initial guy was that a conversation like where he sort of where you were chatting about hip hop or anything no

he just counts he goes where you from and then he started talking about Top Boy but then but then he'd sign the thing and then before I knew it I was sort of surrounded

by a group of guys it was mad were they aggressive at all in their demeanour it's difficult to it's difficult to sort of like

you know I was surrounded and they're really close to me, so I guess that's intimidating in itself. And I don't know how to explain it. At no point did they threaten me, but I did feel like this could go at any minute. Does that make sense? Like there was an edge to the whole interaction. Yeah. Anyway, if

anybody wants to buy a Stop the Racism CD, that would really help me out. That's what it's called. Man, did you not run to a policeman or something? Say what? I just overpaid for some CDs. Could you help me out? I mean, I don't know.

It's a great ploy, isn't it? Like, a way to take money off someone. Do you know what the worst thing is? It's like the most embarrassing thing about it. It's all of the things that you feel like you should have said after you walk away. It's so pathetic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We can't George Costanza it right again man that's so horrible yeah did they look like they were carrying any weapons or anything like was there a sort of felt that they were i would say was they were of sufficient sort of physical size and number that they wouldn't have needed any weapons well yeah yeah they would have beaten me to death with my own rucksack oh god were you wearing a rucksack oh man oh god oh god it's so embarrassing it was so embarrassing and then like you know i told the swan about that she found it hilarious did she yeah i maybe it's because one question yeah i don't want to yeah because you want to find it hilarious did she yeah maybe it's because the way I told it I'll just ask one question I don't want to yeah because you

want to find it hilarious as well no I don't want to find it hilarious but is it any one time when you tried to sort of

pacify by being like best friends with them yeah because I kind of know you well enough I know you well enough to know that

when you gave the first guy money and you thought it was over there was a moment where you gave him a handshake and a nod and he was like yeah nice one thank you bro I can't wait to listen to this kind of vibe no I sort of did a couple of top boy impressions oh fuck off

are you joking I'm wrong. You know the worst version of this? It's a version where they've all fucking taken about fucking $200 each of you and you're still there hanging around with them. I know. Fuck off, man. Fuck off.

Go, go. And surely we're not hanging out. Should we go and like... I've not hanging out should we go maybe go to Central Park I've not got a show till later so I thought I might as well

maybe I'll help you pop some of these CDs don't you understand we're fucking robbing you that's fine will I see you again are you around tomorrow

I actually think it's worth the tariff to hang out I haven't got any friends in here fucking hell dreadful that is horrible and then the other thing that's happened to me

happened to me just this morning um see what you think of this go on so i was in the gym yeah there's like a guy that's absolutely tonk yeah that uh in the gym and he's just had some sort of uh surgery on his testicles vasectomy oh shit okay um so he's talking to me about it and uh then he said do you want to see a picture oh shit really yeah and then oh by the way before we get into this i'm going to just do a warning because do you know last week yeah when we talked about the banjo string incident yeah yeah we've had a couple of emails from people saying they felt really horrific listening to them so on behalf of both the wolf and myself can we apologize yeah sorry about that and uh can i give you a warning you're probably going to want to skip the next i would say 90 seconds because um i'm about to talk about penises again but anyway

i thought he was sort of joking and then he showed me a sort of quite a close-up photo of his post sort of vasectomized sort of shaft base leading to the testes and then he sort of works as like i think he's like a he's a naked butler and he said i can show you a picture of why i'm a naked butler if you want and then he showed me a picture of his dick like his and it was like yeah it's enormous Christ your like life is sort of really sort of spiralling into sort of something from a

like a bit like Emily in Paris or some shit yeah just to contextualise this was 6.45 yeah but like you're sort of

getting robbed in New York you're hanging out fucking looking at dick pics in the gym it's like yeah

sort of you're becoming quite a sort of like crazy sort of guy in these sorts of situations. The saddest thing is I gave him 75 quid to see the picture. My life is literally, do you know the thing I was literally sitting here

I need to go out more and do more shit I was sitting here fucking juggling between what's been the most exciting fucking point of my week this week has it been going to the dentist or getting a new water softener that's literally oh my god speaking of water softener by the way yeah is there anything that you get that you've not got some sort of kickback on right there's no kickback there's no kickback so why did i why did i see in your instagram story

like a picture of you and the guys that put it in little smiley photo you've tagged them right because best water softener in the game because let me just say let me just say we saw three water softener companies come out to us okay first of all i've never considered getting awards so what i want to know is i'd love to know the journey to okay here's the joke so how did you come to the decision that you needed a water i live in an area where we've had to change the shower like the metal bits of the shower like twice because the water's so hard it's corroding the shower do you get the little bits of like sort of scale scale yeah like we've got nice marble fucking uh surfaces in the kitchen that are fucked because of hard water.

It's fucked to sink. So we were at a point where... When you say fucked it, does it mean it leaves marks on it? It leaves marks. It started to corrode it as well because the water is so hard. So someone a few doors down had had one fitted and said it's just changed his life. Right. So I just looked into it. I had a couple of companies come out.

I won't name, but I will name the company. We had a company come out called out. I won't name, but I will name the company. We had a couple of companies come out called Connecticut. Yeah. Who are just incredible. They like the, the, their, um,

everything that they use is like, so there's not a big, like power systems that go through. They sort of fit quite neatly into your, uh, under your sink. Amazing, man.

Do you know, this is what I'm saying. They love water softeners, the guys who came out, they know they were so, where do they, where do they have to fit? Let's change every one of your taps. No, no, no, no. It's just one system. They love water softeners, the guys who came out. They know, they were so knowledgeable. So where do they, where do they have to fit? Do they have to change

every one of your taps? No, no, no, no. It's just one system. They fit underneath your sink. Yeah.

Right. That they just put all your water through. Mate, it's like, you know, like Grace has had like eczema. When we looked into it, one of the reasons that babies get eczema

is really, really hard water. And did you have, did you have that test? Shit, hold on one sec. Hold one sec i've had an absolute shocker as your zoom account a few yeah it's like it's like saying that i've mate how mad that you've basically started spending all your money on cds and dick pics that you can't afford

a proper zoom account no i can but like basically you know, my card got declined. Oh my God. You know, like, I'm going to have to do this. This is embarrassing. I'm going to have to upgrade the thing as I'm doing this. Hold on. What a low. I know. What were you doing during the podcast?

I was talking about water softeners as Ron Westry was upgrading his thing. This is so embarrassing. features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with a Tresame keratin smooth weightless collection. Visit Tresame.com to learn more. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway six inch black forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli.

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Extras, taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course, they'll have to meet my standards,

and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. Yes! Oh, good. We're back in the game wow right so where were we what's up so basically let's just um jt you can edit around this but essentially what happened there was i suddenly realized that my zoom account had been downgraded and we had five minutes left on the chat there so basically the the one bit of admin that's required for this podcast, I managed to not successfully do.

So apologies for that. Anyway, water softening. So we were having just loads of trouble with the guys coming out. It's an absolute game changer. And it's literally one system they put in under your sink. Yeah.

It's such top lads as well. I can't tell you enough. Kinetico, thank you. You changed our lives. Yeah, thank you. Also, when they do the test, by the way, Ramesh. Yes. Have you got hot water where you are?

I have, yeah. I'm starting to think that I should do this. Do you want me to set you up with them to come and see you? Do I have to, like, suck a corporate dick and do a post? No, no, you don't. I'll just do one because I'm a nice guy and I love the two guys who come. But you don't have to suck a dick. But let me just say this, right? Yeah. They will do a test on your water and show you the hardness of

your water and i guarantee that will just be enough to change your mind here's a question for you um as i upgrade this um this zoom do you um did you have a glass of water before and after yeah no they do a test and they put this stuff in it and you can see the amount of shit and fucking hardness and essentially, yeah, just how hard the water is from the stuff, how cloudy it is before and after, yeah. The water I have now, by the way, beautiful. How does it taste?

Ice cold. Fucking lovely, man. Just so good. Really? Mm-mm-mm. It gets rid of all the bleach or the lead. Mate, it sounds like an effort, but it's not. So, but it's worth people looking into.

Also, saves you money. The best thing I've ever done in my life. Hmm. Okay. No, but it is. It's changed the game, mate. It's changed the game. I've got to say,

I can't believe that I went so long without soft water. So what are the advantages of soft water? Skin problems, basically eradicated. Everything's more foamy. Your bubble baths are more foamy and delicious. It doesn't corrode everything. So you clean stuff so you're not spending on stuff like salt for your dishwasher. Mate, it's amazing. I don't want to sound like an advert, but I've had three really intense conversations

with water softener experts this week. So now I feel like I could step into a world where I could work within the parameters of being a water softener expert or some sort of dental hygienist sort of conversation you know not the not the dentist hygienist but you know the person who gives you the stuff that you might wash out your mouth and stuff with yeah i reckon i could do that job now yeah okay so you reckon you could do the job where you pass the mouthwash to somebody yeah but also pass the

tools to the uh the hygienist yeah but i don't. Yeah. But do you feel confident enough to do that? Yeah, I'm pretty confident when it comes to stuff like that. Yeah, I feel really confident. Yeah. And also I think like one of the big things to do after that I've noticed is when they lean into you and you're down and go, you're right. You okay? Now it's nearly all done now. Is there much more embarrassing than trying to spit into that thing after you've had your mouth numbed? I think what's even more embarrassing is the suction thing that they use now instead of spitting. So they suck the spit out of your mouth.

Yeah, and sometimes you can feel it sort of gathering and then they go there and then you Also, if you get the straw slightly wrong, it sort of takes a little knock out your tongue, doesn't it? Yeah, I find it embarrassing when my tongue gets stuck. I feel like, oh, sorry, I've been a bit thirsty there. I couldn't breathe out of my nose during it, though. So I was getting so much phlegm in my mouth, it was unbelievable. Oh, my God. Yeah.

It was like a whale's mouth. And also I had sort of a snotty nose. I didn't feel for the woman when I was, yeah. So after that experience of having all that phlegm gathering in the back of your throat and the snotty nose, and you saw them working over you, you thought that's the sort of thing I'd want to do, isn't it?

No, I just get a buzz out of people who are just into what they do. I find it really... Yeah, there's something fascinating about it. It's like anything where you're watching somebody be really... I think that's why like Bake Off and Pottery Throwdown

and all that are so addictive because you just go... Oh, right. You're so into this. Oh, right. Talking about TV programmes, Happy Valley, The End. You i've not i've not watched any of the happy valley series what i've not watched any of them for fuck's sake man why what do you mean for fuck's sake it's incredible i know it's incredible but like the only time i can watch it is just before bed

and it's quite dark isn't it it can be quite dark but you've also got tube rides track also train rides you know sort of a little lunchtime viewing you know early evening maybe before a gig oh right sorry i thought you meant there was train rides in the tv show that's not going to cheer me up uh but yes you're right it's so good man it's so good yeah i think it's peak viewing james norton yeah well yeah sarah lanker show incredible just an amazing ensemble this would you ever peak viewing. James Norton. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Sarah Lancashire, incredible. Just an amazing ensemble. Would you ever,

would you ever be in, I mean, you've done some serious drama, haven't you? What was the, what was the Stephen Graham thing you did? Yeah, yeah,

that was pretty, that was quite intense. But yeah, I was still playing very much a comedy foil in that. Do you reckon we could, do you reckon we could pull off being like, do you reckon we could do heavy drama? Yeah.

You and me. I think we could. I know we talk about doing sort like do you reckon we could do heavy drama yeah you and me I think we could I know we talk about doing sort of a lethal weapon thing but what if we did like a really gritty gritty drama

wolf and owl wolf and owl like detectives detectives or like investigating grisly murders or whatever

yeah that could be quite amazing I think as well because yeah you just going in and just being like oh for fuck's sake this is this is bad, mate.

This is really, really bad. Why don't we, okay, imagine we walk in. So we walk in. There's all the guys, like, taped off the area. You and me are the specialists they've brought in to investigate. Well, no, I'd open the scene by walking in going, hey, Trev, how you doing? All right, so, oh, this is my new partner, Ian.

Ian Lomas. Ian. Ian Lomas. Ian? Ian Lomas? Yeah. It's called The Wolf and Al. Why would I be Ian Lomas? The Al is your superhero. No, I'd have to be Robbie Al.

We're not superheroes. All right, okay, okay. Let me try again. I walk in. Hey, Trev. Hey, Tony. Hey, Tony, how's your wife? I knew it.

I told you so. Oh, sorry. Whatever matters. This is Ian Al. He's my new partner. Hi, guys. Yeah, that's us. Ian Al and Troy Wolfe.

Two guys. Troy? What? You've already got a cool surname. Why have you got to have Troy as well? Oh, OK. You know us. OK, say it again.

Ian Al and Kieran Wolfe. Just two guys. You know us. Okay, say it again. Ian Howe and Kieran Wolfe are just two guys. Kieran, that's still a cool name. Wolfe, I can't, well,

okay. Tony. Okay, was there already a Tony in the room? Well, okay, make him Dan.

Okay, 10. I can't play Dan. No, you're not being a Dan. The other guy's a Dan. You can be Tony. Okay,

hey Dan, how's your FFC? Dan, how's your wife? I told you so, bro. I told other guy's a Dan you can be Tony okay hey Dan how's your Dan how's your wife I told you so bro I told you so oh you haven't met my new partner Ian Al he's a pretty good guy

yeah that's us Ian Al and Kevin Wolf Kevin yeah that Kevin Kevin's a cool it's not cool

but it's it's unassuming okay alright so what about Sammy Wolf yeah Sammy Wolf I don't Sammy Wolf's fine yeah okay Kevin's a cool it's not cool but it's it's unassuming okay alright so what about Sammy Wolf yeah Sammy Wolf I don't Sammy Wolf's fine

yeah okay you know me Sammy Wolf I'll only work with the best in the business so Ian what do you think

about this well can I first say I find some of your methods quite unorthodox yeah but that's me that's how I work you've stepped all over the crime scene. You don't seem to be paying any

regard to keeping stuff untouched. I already know what's happened, Ian. You ate one of the jelly beans in the corridor on the way in as well, from that bowl, I noticed. Ian, why don't you just do your forensics like you're paid to do? That's why you had to leave the last service, because you're a weasel, not an owl.

I don't think we're getting on at the moment, but I'm sure we will do by the end of the series. Hey, Trev, look at this guy, taking swabs and samples. What's he even thinking? Well, it's actually sort of basic crime scene procedure, actually. You know what basic crime procedure is? Is this. I know exactly basic crime procedure is? Is this. I know exactly who did it. What?

I think I'd like to be more like Luther. Yeah, I'd love to be like Luther. Luther? Who's your favourite ever TV cop? Luther. Yeah. I think Luther or Dominic West in The Wire is pretty cool. Oh yeah, he is cool he's pretty epic

isn't he I've got to say Sarah Lancashire actually Happy Valley maybe yeah it is a dark show though that isn't it

like you know there's darkness in it but then yeah sometimes you I was actually just watching on GMB they had a whole thing

just now where they were saying is it too dark for British TV and I think if the BBC and Channel 4 if you're going to keep up with these HBO and Netflix shows you've kind of got to go down that that route saying, is it too dark for British TV? And I think if the BBC and Channel 4, if you're going to keep up with these HBO and Netflix shows,

you've kind of got to go down that route. You've got to make things as... Give stuff an edge, you know? That's what I think is really exciting about it. I thought the fact that it's set in Halifax... You lying down and going, you've got to give stuff an edge, you know, it's one of the wankiest positions I've ever seen, yeah. I can't help it. My lower back's a bit

sore to that yeah I spend a lot of time just sitting down so I need to sort of be up and be a bit more virile yeah

give you a bit of edge yeah give me a bit right should we do some emails yeah let's do it thanks once again to the swan

I feel like my zoom thing has taken some of the steam out of this podcast episode so let's hope the email's fucking yeah and also yeah shout again to the swan i i feel like my zoom thing has taken some of the steam out of this podcast episode so let's hope the email's yeah and also yeah shout out the swan just for being amazing yeah um okay bear with me one second there's a pigeon or a sort of crow looking at me at the moment genuinely there's a crow sitting on the uh on the house opposite just staring in the window. I can see he's thinking, what's going on in there?

What's he up to? Okay. Thank you, Tom, for filling with that scintillating little digression. So this is from Desperate Mummy Deer. Wow. And Desperate Mummy Deer says, Hi, Wolf, Owl, Swan and Cat. A couple of episodes ago, the wolf was talking about attracting bullies because of being tall.

My husband, the stag, has the exact same problem. On many occasions, we've had to leave a bar or pub to get away from the eggy assholes who have nothing better than throw themselves around looking for trouble. He's actually been in a pub once and someone has come over to him and asked him to hold his drinks. The stag, being the nice person he is, has done this. The other bloke has jumped forward and said to him, see how easy it is. Wow. This is horrible.

Anyway, my 12-year-old son has been cursed with a tall jean. It's not a curse. It's a blessing. And as such is a big lad for his age. He's in the first year of secondary school and since going back to school after Christmas, oh, God, this is... has been jumped by a group of eight-year-ten lads

and beaten up by another little shit that is nothing more than a bully. Today, while riding his bike, he saw this bully out of school. The bully took and emptied the contents of my son's bag while another forced a vape into his mouth oh my god my son is capable of fighting fighting back but he doesn't want to my question is what situation has he been in like this and what advice can you offer this desperate mum please please any advice is welcome uh love you both you've helped me through the most difficult times in

my life and for that i'm forever grateful mummy dear tom dear. Tom. It's quite tough on this. I find it quite, I have a shiver down my spine when I listen to this because it's sort of, yeah, a lot of my childhood, I had a lot of this, like,

stuff sort of would happen. And actually, shout out to your son for talking to you. I don't, I don't, I never really talk to my parents about stuff like that.

I think I sort of try to internalise it and I always worried that my parents were worried so I didn't really talked to my parents about stuff like that. I think I sort of tried to internalise it. And I was worried that my parents were worried. So I didn't really talk to it, talk to it about it. So shout out to you, Sonny's clearly a lot more mature in that sense. Up until sort of,

it's one of the reasons I don't, I tend not to go out a lot now. I don't, I don't, certainly for it, like in the evening, I'll sort of always, I don't think I could ever relax fully if I'm out because I was just worried about things.

I remember being at a festival a few years ago and a guy just literally just walking up, taking off his top, he had about eight mates with him, and he just squared up to me. And I was trying to sort of pacify it and walk away. And he just kept on just like coming back and he's clearly off his head but just coming back and then just sort of like tried to throw a haymaker at me which I sort of avoided but it was just yeah so I've had that a lot of yeah I don't really know what the answer is I sort of I think through through my 20s I think i got more confident i sort of was a bit more

either pacified a situation or sort of i think probably just sort of front things back a little bit here and there but i think you kind of yeah it's difficult you don't really want to not be able to go out and not do things i suppose it's selecting the places you go i think there's certain but why should yeah but why should you have to do that because you're tall it's not just a tall thing is it

it's dickheads in life we talk constantly about homophobia racism I'm not

liking that to be in tall because it's a completely different thing but there's a sense that

the sad part in life I think when you have a child you realise that you can raise your kids and your child as well as you want. It's actually not going to matter.

The thing that's going to matter is other people not doing the same. What you realise with bullies and through chatting to... I've been talking to my therapist a lot about this, and it's the implication of, like, if you could go back in time and go to the first ever person who bullied someone and eradicate that and never have because it all just has a

knock-on effect parents you know that feel that they bully their kids or they they're harsher on their kids or they can't raise their kids the kid then goes out and becomes a bully and becomes more aggressive than the person that they have that hit and effect, whether that's the bully basically rebelling to become a bully at school or 10 years down the line become a dickhead at work or become a bully to their own children or become whatever. If you look systematically through most situations, a lot of these start with one person feeling vulnerable and helpless enough to terrorize and make

someone else's life feel worse than theirs and then that just has a concertina effect that works for each society and that's that's ultimately quite terrifying sad sort of state of affairs I think it's and I see if I want to shoot you die I've had it the football I've had it you know I've one of reasons I stopped going to West Ham was I was at West Ham and a guy spat at me. And for no other reason than he just was aggressive. I was tall and he just, again, was just horrible.

So I was just like, I don't really fucking need this. I was with my nephew who's like eight. You're like, this is shit. Do you know what I mean? It's like, why would you want to go and be, you know, it's why would you put yourself through this? So I just think in society,. Do you know what I mean? It's like, why would you want to go and be, have, you know, it's, why would you put yourself through this? So I just think in,

in society and, you know, there's that thing of standing up and going, oh, we shouldn't let them win. With your son, it genuinely makes me feel sad because I just, it takes me back to being that age.

And, you know, I used to box. I was able to look after myself, but my mum was constantly of the opinion. If you fight back and you're a bit bigger and taller, it's always going to come back on you. So really, ultimately,

I feel very sorry for your son. And I don't... I think the big thing I'd say is that... That's probably the wankiest thing I've ever said on here, but it's to try and know that for all the bad sides, sides like that,

being tall and having a confidence and owning my height and owning who I was. And it gave me some, some of the best parts of my character that I'm proudest of alongside, you know, some of the shittiest moments of my life. So yeah, I guess it's, uh,

no, knowing that there's, there's other stuff that can come from it. I think if he, if he's confident in himself, um, and surrounds himself with good mates then hopefully that will sort of that will sort of straighten itself out yeah but

ultimately you know advice was a bit of a loss yeah um mummy dear i'm really sorry that you're going through this um and i'm sorry that your son's going through this and i'm sorry that your husband has to do with stuff like that but um you um, you know, it's one of these things where, um, you know, people often make the joke or they say the thing that bullying is, is helpful or it's shapeful. It's shaping, it shapes you as a kid or whatever, like blah, blah. But if, you know, if it's something you can't do anything about that you're getting bullied for, it's horrific. And, you know, I used to be a teacher and I know kids that ended up being school refuses as a result of being bullied so much and they just didn't want to come in and it's horrific and you know it's there's no easy solution i mean there's loads of different anecdotes i can give you i was chatting someone at the time they used to get

bullied at school and then their parents made them go to that person's house and just ask them out and out why are you making my life such a misery and that sort of sorted it out i'm not suggesting that you do that because you just don't know how people are going to react but the one thing i would say to you is you can't really i mean what you don't want to do is get into a point where you're starting to think that being tall is a curse and that you can't go certain places or that people are just going to always treat you like this it's not people it's a selection of twats and those people you need to try and deal with their situations in individual ways and try to if you can avoid getting into the mindset of thinking this is a thing that i'm always going to have to deal with you shouldn't have to deal with it and if

it does happen you need to deal with it as best you can and on top of that just know that your parenting means that your son is going to feel validated and he's going to feel confident in himself as it is and these things are just sort of blips they're not they don't you know you don't want him to allow that to define him it's uh it's a thing where he's got uh you know he's got to know even if this shit is happening to him he's still got qualities and it's not bad to be tall and these people are idiots and actually the fault lies with them and not with your son and i hope he can sort of carry himself through his days uh knowing that and believing that and the only way to do that is instill in him sort of a self-confidence and a belief and hopefully it'll be all right but it is a really tricky situation so um good luck with

it and um you know the only thing i can say to you is i was bullied for reasons of like lazy eye and race and stuff like that and you know it's not helpful but you do come out stronger the other side of it so um look good luck. We wish you need to break free from responsibility and experience something that feels more you, reach for Kraft Dinner. Because when you're starved for moments that bring you back to who you really are and what you really love, that's when it's gotta be KD. When you gotta do you, it's gotta be KD. Shop now. Today. Something is coming. Kong, Godzilla, they can feel it fight together it's human up or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters hey i just got us a

new coca-cola spice nice what's it taste like it's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Next email. This is from The Blobfish.

It says, Attention, Wolf, Owl and Swan. Love listening to the sweet, sweet pod to the max. Gets me through working from home and has unpacked a lot of thoughts. And personally, I didn't realize that I had personality traits I didn't realize I had before. What I found listening to the pods, though, is that the hearing ring doorbells in the background always causes me to doubt as to whether it was my ring that had gone off every time i've caught some absolute chaos and hilarious mishaps and the ring is is the one best is one of the best purchases i've ever made my question to you is that what is the best thing you've captured in your ring doorbell of something you're worried about being caught on

someone else's that's very specific and uh immediately i'm panicking that i don't have an anecdote for this uh thank you very much the blobfish uh tom davis you've got a ring doorbell yeah i think the word i that guy i remember i think i put a picture up the guy with like me and katherine caught outside her house oh yeah that was so freaky like staring he was stood outside her house on her drives just staring at the ring doorbell he knew knew it was there. It was fucking awful. It was like that was fucking crazy. Like yeah, horrible. But you know what? I think like

I've had a number of those ring doorbell things where you hear a bit of a conversation or yeah. I like it when you've got a delivery driver who's on his headpiece and he's chatting to a loved one or he's chatting to a mate and you sort of get a snippet of the conversation

like he's like well you know Charlie's a fucking idiot mate he's an idiot why would you why would he even say that yeah and then you're sort of getting

sort of quiet as he walks away no no no I love it I love it when you just get a little snap it and I'll just sit there

for at least two hours afterwards just thinking who's Charlie and why's he an idiot why are you still hanging out with him how long do you spend thinking about that couple of hours

yeah usually Catherine's Catherine asking you why you're not in the room really yeah you know I said a little bit of a thing on the ring doorbell

that distracted me for a while sorry about that I was just wondering about whether this guy's going to make friends or whether that Charlie's just going to be ostracized from his group look like i was from mine uh god um i'll tell you what i like doing my ring doorbell is when i'm out at work if lisa's doing the bins or whatever i like to sort of have a little surprise chat with her

on the way back in oh really yeah yeah you know it goes off i do it with the kids as well sort of like hey boys oh no that sounds a bit i don't say it like that. I go, hey, boys. How you doing? Have a little chat at the door. They get very excited. For some reason. Have you ever done that? And they caught like, Alex, Charlie or Theo go, raise their eyebrows like, oh, here he goes. No, I think they're smart enough to double check that the things that I'm off the thing before they do that. Oh, really? no I think they're smart enough to double check that the things that I'm off the thing before they do that oh really yeah I always sort of there's part of me that hopes I'll catch the swan coming back with

somebody you hope that's going to happen yeah I sort of it sort of be exciting wouldn't it I mean I sort of think well done good for you

yeah if I did if I did say that I wouldn't say anything because I wouldn't want to ruin the mood but I probably say something on the way out.

Do it yourself? Yeah, exactly. Something like that. Have a good time, did you? And the guy in six goes, yeah. She's learned some bad habits. I think we can't straighten out in a week or two. A week or two?

I guess I'll see you on the ring doorbell. Okay. I'll leave some vegan bits for the bakers in there. For Coughlin's. That's all right, mate. I'll have a meat here. Oh, God. Oh, no, it's a naked butler from the gym. Oh, no.

Oh, no, he's really well endowed. How am I supposed to go on stage and be funny now? I'm doing a tour show in three minutes. Oh, Wolverhampton, I'm sorry. Okay, well, we've made that deeply dark and depressing. Thank you for that email. We've managed to take it absolutely rock bottom. Thank you for that email.

We've managed to take it absolutely rock bottom. This is from the Welsh Myotonic Goats. Wow. Hello from Wales. Please keep anonymous. Just a quick email to highlight the profound effect your podcast has on its listeners. Thank you very much. It's on Wednesday morning here in Drizly, Wales. Me and my kids were disrupted from my usual morning routine by a commotion.

I opened the living room door and shouted upstairs to ensure my husband was okay i found him naked and soaking wet with his head between his legs at the top of the stairs behind him was a slug trail of water on the carpet the shower still running he was showering when rom initially told his snapped banjo string story and it had such an effect on him he nearly passed out he had to drag himself out of the bath from soaking wet to turn the podcast off before he could hear any more now i can't even mention the podcast without him going gray and having to sit down oh mate have you ever had such a physical reaction to something you've watched or listened to uh tom yeah i mean yeah i think there's a few things that i'd like you get. I can't watch, like, One Born Every Minute,

I get squeamish with. I had to do a show, right, called Accidental ER or something like that. I had to do the voiceover thing for it. And I got so, there was one moment where someone, like, fucking put, like, saw a chainsaw thing for his leg. And I had to do the voiceover a bit for it and they kept so you know that when you're doing a vo for saying and then they go right we'll just play that and then you you come in with your vr uh vo sorry and then they were playing and i literally watched

it the first time i felt lightheaded and then they kept on playing it over and over again and in the end i was like i'm gonna faint here i'm gonna generally just pass out is there any way that you can just i can just do it without i don't get recorded the rest of the series with never watching a second of that show it was just i used to sit there thinking why this is like it used to just absolutely destroy and you know like when you're doing these voiceovers you've got to watch the show to come up with like right funny bits yeah it was just almost impossible for me hence why the show is not very funny but um yeah anything like that i find yeah fucking real really hard really difficult like i'm madly squeamish yeah i'm not particularly squeamish actually um but what i

would say is although i am squeamish in reality so So what I mean by that is like, I don't, I don't mind watching stuff on TV. If I'm in the room, uh, it's a bad situation. Like when we were a few years ago, Alex got really ill. He had to spend a few days in hospital and Lisa and I went, had to go into this room to watch him have a cannula put in. And, uh, yeah, it was really sad, man. He was like, he lost a lot of weight. It was a horrible, horrible time.

But he then put in the cannula and our lady passed out. Yeah. I actually got to the point where I required medical attention as a result. Yeah, they asked me to leave because if you imagine your kid having something quite nerve-wracking and then their dad has got his hands on his knees and he's almost passed out yeah helpful yeah so um yeah i was asked i was asked to leave vacate the premises uh but in with regards to watching stuff physical reaction i get

really emotional about stuff that i got really sad about when i first watched so for example um i think i've talked about this on the podcast before but when i was a kid i got very emotional and i used to really love garfield and there was a bit where in um uh garfield where od the dog if anybody knows garfield you know that od is the dog that john arbuckle also owns od gets taken away to the pound for some reason like by the dog catcher whatever the fuck it is and then then Odie sort of looks back at Garfield. And then I remember this song, it goes so long old friend. I hope that I will see you once again. Something like that.

Anyway, every time I heard that refrain or every time I thought about. Odie I'd start crying. Wow. And that's not a good look for a kid. You know, you just start crying randomly and somebody goes, why? And then you go, because I just thought about Odie getting taken away from Garfield again.

Do you know, it's a bad... I had a version of that, but as an adult. Do you remember, did you ever watch Lost? Yeah. I had it with Charlie from Lost. Really? You know, when he gives his life, there's a whole episode called, you know,

His Greatest Hits. And he's writing it a whole episode called you know his greatest hits and he's writing it through the episode and in the end he sort of sacrifices himself for the whole team and he does this speech where he goes these are the greatest hits these are the greatest moments of my sad old life and i whenever i think about even now i i feel very yeah yeah that and when remember in the bumblebee I'm in the transformers animation when Bumblebee dies, there's a, again, there's a really, there's a really sad side of that beginning the old animation. Yeah.

Optimus prime does in that as well. Yeah. This is such a sick line in that film where Springer goes, I got better things to do tonight than die. I lost my mind when I heard that. I learned that's a cool thing to say. Bumblebee had already died, and Optimus Prime was about to die five minutes later.

But good for you, Springer. The other one I've got a problem with is... What's that? What's that? Up. Oh, God, fucking hell. Jeez. Like that, that.

Oh, my. Mate, we watched that, me and Catherine. We went on holiday. And I think it was our second, first or second holiday. And it rained every day. We were second second holiday and it rained every day we were in Portugal it just rained every day and we started

watching all the DVDs that they had in this fucking hotel that we were staying in and one of them was up

and we watched the first yeah it just destroyed both of us I've never seen the whole film I watched the opening

the opening half hour 40 minutes where it's just absolutely fucking soul destroying. Heart wrenching. And then just had to turn it off.

Yeah, I would say it turns into sort of a boy's own adventure, but like later on, not a boy's own adventure, a boy's own adventure. That would be amazing, wouldn't it? If all of a sudden Ronan Keating and all those guys just popped up and they were just like, don't worry about it, old man. It's not time to make a change just relax and take it easy so the closing quiz life is a roller coaster just gotta ride it um anyway but there are like four or five moments like that where it just gets you an absolute gut punch and so every time i think about it

i can't do it man i can't can't, I haven't got that shit. Kill it. Kill it. Okay. Time for one more email. Yeah. On this absolute classic app. I think we all agree. This says,

dear Swan, so fuck the wolf for now. Wow. I hope this dilemma finds you well. We, the rocking raccoon and myself,

the cautious cuckoo, cuckoo,, we, the rocking raccoon and myself, the cautious cuckoo. Cookie cuckoo, rocking raccoon and myself, the cautious cuckoo are getting married on March 25th. Oh, congratulations. We're struggling with our evening party playlist. We have quite different tastes in music and we'd love the wolf and ours advice on some bangers to play songs to get everyone dancing, but not genetic, not generic Google wedding playlist songs help the rocking raccoon

is currently playing hot stuff from the full monty with love rr and cc i think when it comes to tunes at your wedding you've got to diversify that shit yeah correct i think you've got to have a little bit of this a little bit of that you just a variation is key i think the more you can the more vibes you've got the more stuff that people but i actually don't think there's anything wrong in i know that people talk about those lame wedding songs but they are dance floor floor fillers like i think sometimes you can get a little bit i think it's good to have a variation it's good to have different stuff but i think actually when it comes to the end of the night there's nothing more heartbreaking that at the end of a wedding someone not putting on

new york new york i yeah i think that you want to hear that in a bit of dexter's midnight runners oh yeah oh man when you hear that and then people are just looking at each other going all right let's do this let's have it oh my god i'm buzzing thinking about that song mate i you know it's if that is a feeling that i think yeah you want to you know i think time to change a bit because it's like you know some mr brightside's fucking eats his little way into that that vibe as well now he's smuggled his way in isn't it yeah but you know i would just i would declare there's nothing wrong with that song it's absolutely fine his little way into that vibe as well now. He's smuggled his way in, isn't he? Yeah, but... I would declare there's nothing wrong with that song. It's absolutely fine.

I would say that when that comes on, I am out. What, Brightside? Yeah. I don't mind a bit of Mr Brightside, I've got to say. I'm Mr Brightside. but I think yeah I think I think you've got to think about everyone just it's I think the more stuff you can get people up and done do you know what as well I'd say this are you if did I have the dj uh doesn't know just as playlist but the trouble is if you have a pain

playlist you're going to be overly thinking about it. That's the one thing we had. We had a friend who did the DJ for us. And again, like, I'm not going to go on my wedding day, I'm not going to go into the fucking kitchen and start knocking up steaks and fucking start cooking. I leave that to someone who, that's their department and that's what they're good at.

And I think the DJ should be the same thing. Give him a scope of what you want, but let him fucking do his thing, and he'll smash it out of the park. Get a friend. If you love your music much, you're going to have a friend who can do that who's going to be honoured to be a part of that. I think it's one of the best jobs to get, by the way, DJ at a wedding. If you're a friend and they're handing out jobs, best man, absolute fucking toll.

It's made of honour. These are fucking jobs that really are. Bridesmaid, groomsman. Groomsman and bridesmaids, you're fucked because you don't get really any thanks for it, right? Ushers, da-da-da. If someone turns to you and goes, oh, would you be the DJ at our wedding?

You're like, oh, fuck yes, please. You literally play bangers all night. You smash the dance floor. Everyone's going to be loving you. And you've had to do hardly any prep. It's the dance floor. Everyone's going to be loving you. And you've had to do hardly any prep. It's the best job to get offered at a wedding. Yeah, interesting theory.

I would suggest that it means that you're just behind the decks the whole time, absolutely terrified that you're going to clear the dance floor. But I mean... Mate, if you've got... Oh, you know what you... Oh, mate. What if you did the fucking DJing at their wedding? What if you did the DJing at their wedding? Well, we did it together.

Hold on. Are you free on March the 25th? March the 25th. Have a look at their wedding. What if you did the DJing at their wedding? Well, we did it together. Hold on. Are you free on March the 25th? March the 25th. Have a look at your calendar. I'm away. Fuck. What are you doing? It might not be definite, though.

If it's not definite, me and Tom are coming to your wedding. Can you invite us, please? If we can do it, yeah. I'm around. I haven't got a gig that night. Okay. Well, we'll see you there.

That could be better. Tom's going to DJ. I'm going to dance. It's going to be great. No, we'll see you there. That could be better. Tom's going to DJ. I'm going to dance. It's going to be great. No, we'll DJ together. Okay, fine. You could do your hip hop stuff. I'll do the dance.

And then, mate, one of my favorite parts of the night is just me and you. And I'll go, Mr. Pratt. And you'll just shake your head and laugh. And then you just kind of sprint in on a dance floor and just lose your shit. Yeah. I'll just vault over the decks and start just throwing down then start getting so carried away because i think i'm center of the thing that it becomes quite awkward um i would say up and down yeah i would say tom's

giving you some good advice there i don't think there's ever anything wrong with a bit of motown oh you know i mean a bit of a bit of upbeat soul because he sort of doesn't really offend anybody and people sort of know the tunes and also depending on your age bracket a bit of 80s is pretty there's always a smash it is always going to be a class move uh that's sort of you know that's sort of a way of getting everyone united but i don't know if everyone there's in their 20s and that's probably a really shit shit steve probably want to go 90s or even 2000s i guess maybe not even parents and older people and there's nothing exactly yeah dancing there is nothing better by the way when we say parents and older people they're going to be our age aren't they yeah correct we are the older people now yeah yeah we are the older people

Okay. Thank you so much for the emails. Thanks to this one for selecting them. Tommy D, do us the honor of taking us out. Yo. Bill Lowcroft struggled most days. He struggled with anxiety and he struggled with so many different problems. Which struggle most about is the same worries and fears every day that would bedazzle his mind and set him off in a fit of panic.

But one day he started to see his mind not as a brain full of mush and muscle and thinking tissues, but instead of a forest forest as a forest with trees and such and what you have to do is navigate his way out of this forest of anxiety and worry and get to the roadside sometimes he tried to get out of the forest and he didn't quite make it although he got close to the edge but in one day he made it to the edge of the forest he made it to the roadside he made it to the edge of the forest, he made it to the roadside, he made it to a house. And he thought, oh my God, I feel better, I feel more relaxed. The thing is, he didn't quite know how he made it to the edge of the forest, to the

roadside. So every day after that, he tried to retrace his footsteps until every day he managed to make it to the road, to make it to the road to make it to the edge of the forest and that's kind of what you've got to do in life you're always going to have moments that worry you most of anxiety sometimes these moments are going to be very similar to the day before the day before that the way of dealing with it is to find a map of a way of getting out of it. To making your way through your forest of anxiety. Once you find a map and once you try and find a way out, all you've got to do is follow

those footsteps. A little bit of meditation, a little bit of exercise. Ground yourself. And you know what? The forest will become a field and you should be able to look around and think, huh, there used to be trees there. Stay true, friends.

That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you. Thank you so much, Tom. Listen, what do you think of this episode generally? It's been an up and down rollercoaster. That could be the song that plays us out life is a rollercoaster

it could be life is a rollercoaster but i think we're gonna go with come on eileen dex's midnight runners to take

us out the podcast to at least give us one highlight uh thank you so much for listening we will see you next week peace and

love take care of yourselves bye bye listening we will see you next week peace and love take care of yourselves bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

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bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

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bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye I'll come on, let's take a very good look To a place I live I'll come on, let's take a couple of days If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all,

please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.