Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 33: Horrible Hangovers & Valentines Panics

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

We’re talking… hungover chores, Zoom fights, rugby days and donkey dicks, emergency valentines plans, homemade margaritas, brewing beer, the world's happiest countries and the pros and cons of never having to sleep again. Followed by email questions on vaping in bed, audio book obsessions and restaurant ordering etiquette - and an all important update on Tom’s ghost! For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. Ontario. Experience A&W's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows.

Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning. Welcome to a very late edition of The Wolf of Now. It's eight o'clock in the evening.

We originally planned to record this at seven. Tom and I are tired. First day of half term for me. first day of half term for me first day of half term for tom but i know that grace is advanced but she's not school yet she said no but it's a i've had a day at home i've had a hungover day at home doing chores and yeah just house i've got to say right it's the hardest they're the hardest place there's so like so much to do yeah and it never seems that anything you you start a job and then you literally if it like feels like the day's got like gone like you nothing gets finished yeah yeah i i remember um being away for a bit and then being really excited to see lisa and the kids again and then within 30 seconds of getting

in the car i was shouting that I was going to turn the car around and take us all home within a minute I think I haven't had that vibe today my vibe today has been like trying to sort of I went to the rugby yesterday Are you a rugby fan?

Not massively if I'm honest with you I'm less of a rugby fan today than I was yesterday so I've been I've been well you and I one of the only matches

I've been to at the rugby is you and me when we did the British the challenge at the British Lions and that was pretty I mean that is your you're insulated from any reality

aren't you by being involved in a TV show but what was this like I take it you were doing bougie bougie bougie corporate yeah i was in yeah i was in this i think you've been to the cricket because there's a video of you that uh at the cricket that they use as you know having a good time

the green room chat agreement incredible yeah they're good i went with i went with friction actually he's a massive cricket yeah they look after you but um yeah can i tell you can i just say before you carry on the story i want just tell you, before you carry on with the story, I want to tell you something because you'll appreciate this. So Friction and I went to the cricket. We spent the whole day there. We got quite battered. Well, not battered, you know.

It's a whole day of drinking, isn't it? Yeah. We weren't on a session, but it's such a long match that as the day goes on, you gradually get more and more drunk. Anyway, the cricket finished. You'll love this. We got in the car and we're going back from London to Friction lives in Brighton,

I live in Crawley, obviously. And we're on our way back and Friction goes to me, what do you reckon about trying to get something to eat on the way home? Like something decent. I was like, all right.

And he goes, would you fancy a curry? And I go, yeah, I do actually. And I said, I know a really good curry house, but I looked at my watch and they're probably going to be closed, but they're going to be closing soon. I phoned them up. This isn't a celeb thing

because I didn't tell them who I was. I just said, look, me and a mate have gone to the cricket and we are desperate for a curry to finish the day off.

I know you're closing soon, but is there any chance? And they fucking stayed open. Wow. Did you go, did you big swing it? oh you go did you big swing it did you did you order a lot of food yeah well well we were because anyway because when we were in manchester for the wolf in our life you kept that one open as well

that was closing that that was closing no first of all that wasn't closing second of all if you're about to suggest that i was a big big dick swinger with the orders, you're the one that orders so much food, they suggest you move to a larger table. No, no. No, but you, that place was,

the guy was quite, like he was saying like, yeah, we're closing soon, we're closing soon. No, he wasn't. He was. Why are you making, why are you just making stuff up?

He definitely was, with all my heart and soul, he was. Don't sit up aggressively at the camera with me, mate. He definitely was. With all my heart and soul, he was. Don't sit up aggressively at the camera with me, mate. He definitely was. You weren't there to listen.

What are you going to do? Where'd you go from there then? No, you were literally off. What are you going to do? Punch your own fucking laptop? Break my laptop in half. I don't remember that.

I'm not trying to be a prick. I don't remember that. Mate, I'm... Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that was the sweetest curry ever. I'm not trying to be a prick. I don't remember that. Right. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that was a sweet, that was the sweetest curry ever. That curry.

Anyway, go on. Sorry. So I, um, yeah, I ate a lot. I drank so much Guinness yesterday.

Like so much Guinness. Like it was free Guinness. And it was just like, Oh, it's going out of, it was like, it was going out of of fashion I worried that they'd run out and I kept on yeah

I was actually yeah it was a good day by and large a few dickheads more dickheads than I sort of cared to think

that there was going to be a lot of good people yeah I didn't think I didn't think the rugby had I mean I know the rugby's got a certain it's got a different vibe to it than that no I'd say I'd say like 90% had... I mean, I know the rugby's got a certain... It's got a different vibe to it than the...

No, I'd say like 90% of it, I think it's a beautiful day out, filled with really lovely people. Yeah. Sadly, like anywhere, there was just a fucking couple of helmets that sort of almost felt like they had been thrown out of boxing and football

because they were two fucking, two bigger arsehole and had settled on rugby as their new, their new hobby that they liked. Yeah. And who were you sat with? I was sat next to, actually, you know who I was sat next to? Mike Keogh,

a guy. Oh my God. Big Mike Keogh. Oh my God. I wouldn't have been able to sit next to him. He is an incredible human being. In what way? Like when you chat to him. In the way that he was sat have been able to sit next to him. He is an incredible human being. In what way? Like when you chat to him.

In the way that he was sat next to you and you spoke to him for 30 seconds. It's just how you decide are most human beings being incredible. I spoke to him in great depth. We were like kindred souls. I really, I enjoyed his company. You didn't ask him about that Van Nistelrooy scream,

did you? No, no, no. I didn't even go near that. I just chatted about his time. I chatted about when he struggled to get into the team as a younger player. We chatted about that

and his process from going to that to being the guy at 30 in Wenger's team and basically coming on the Invincibles. He's like a really

interesting chap and so knowledgeable. He's someone I look at and I think he'd have been a really good manager of mine. Really, hands as well okay okay you had a nice afternoon martin kian and now suddenly you think you're fucking bffs i get it he was he was a cool guy did you exchange not did you go for the number exchange no no no no i just didn't want to ask we'd had a nice day yeah we sort of had a we had a hug as we both left. Right. I went for a wee as well when I was there.

And I went into the cubicles because the urinals were packed solid and standing there. I just can't be doing that. And a guy came into the – there was no lock on the door. Pushed the cubicle door open. And sort of went, oh, sorry, mate. and so when i'm sorry mate sorry sorry big fella anyway he went around the whole of the uh green room afterwards telling everyone i had a donkey dick it's insane wow what a result for you i genuinely haven't it's such a like insane it's

the only time this has ever happened to me in my whole life and how did you feel incredible i felt like genuinely i i felt like i i there was a sense in my that i felt like mark here not any great sportsman who's just sort of won a cup or wanna people were coming up to one guy coming with my father-in-law so you're in a toilet oh don't you dick and all that i was like wow here's a question for you if i could have lived in that room forever, I would have. Yeah. Here's a question for you. Because obviously I get why you were happy about that. But if you sort of explore that in any way,

it seems so mad to be so happy about that. So you were happy. You were delighted that a group of people at the rugby thought you had a large penis. No, no, no. A group of people at the rugby thought you had a large penis. No, no, no. A group of other men. So a group of men. I am your leader.

And for some reason, that makes you feel incredible. For most of my life, going back to the back in the day, I've always made a joke about the fact I've got an abnormally small penis, like, a small penis for a man of my size, right? I've, I've,

it's something that, sort of, I've, I've always, just take the piss out of, this is the only time something like this has happened. It was like an insight

into sort of like, yeah, I guess what it must feel like to be fucking, like, a bit of a jock, bit of a jock, bit of a,

bit of a, yeah, there's a kind of backslap. So, I went to the bar at like to be fucking, like, a bit of a jock. There's a kind of backslap. So I went to the bar at one point, and one guy nudged me when he heard about you, mate, and laughed. And just walked off. I've just had a horrible thing happen to me, Tom. I've just had a text message that's reminded me it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Oh, mate.

Have you not got loose lace or anything? No no do you know what i'd suggest what well she's gonna fucking listen to this now she listened to it on wednesday yeah but so okay you could save this now okay go on well this is what i'd do right i would what's she doing now she's sitting watching television she's waiting for me so that we can watch the new series of you oh you're gonna watch that are you have you watched all of that why are you reacting to me like i've just told you that i'm a sex offender it's a shot but that you what have you watched three series of that oh yeah sorry mr tv connoisseur who only watches the highest of highbrow stuff what is the problem with me watching three seasons of you no i watched the first series and a half and i thought the first series was banging i found the second series a little bit like

when he's got the guy in the glass room i just lost yeah it's implausible don't get me wrong but you know you and i've been in implausible things. Yeah. This is what I suggest, right? You're going to put on you, yeah? Right. Get a hairbrush, right? And say, oh, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow. So when you're watching, just brush your hair for her, right? Sorry, let me... Sorry, you seem to think that I've asked you how I get divorced by Valentine's Day. No, it's a nice thing.

And then, right, I'd say to Lisa, my darling, tomorrow, asked you how I get divorced by Valentine's Day. No, it's a nice thing. And then, right, I'd say to Lisa, my darling, tomorrow, I was thinking, get yourself a little laid. You know, don't worry, I'll get up and sort the boys. You just, like, you know, get your sleep on. You get up, you let her sleep in, right?

Get up, get the boys together, them all in um the car right whiz down buy them a mcdonald's breakfast then fight for their silence for their happiness and then just wait till the shops open sprint as quick as you can into like a florist a chocolate shop and like a card shop and the third third stereotype. Yeah, go on. Well, then you've got yourself a nice box of chocolates. I'd say probably go to Thornton's or one of the... Where should I get the chocolates from? The flower shop or the chocolate shop? No, go to Thornton's, somewhere classy, right? Okay.

Or get a box of, is it Lindahl Lints? What's that name, right? Yeah. She'll like them, right? Get a lovely bouquet of flowers, right? So when she opens the door she can't see you she can just see flowers right um and then basically turn up fucking card in hand and then just go and go surprise you know maybe a balloon as well

right okay and then she'll just be oh my god i didn't know you were gonna do this yeah and you're like i've done it because I fucking love you to bits. So when you said, I've got a solution for you, that is rush out tomorrow and buy some presents. Yeah, yeah. That's your life hack, is it? No, no. I'm covered.

I'm sorted, mate. What have you got, Catherine? I've got a jumper that she wanted, a pamper pack, a nice scented candle, and a card. Okay, nice. Good selection of stuff. Yeah.

I would say that you could go there, but you're up against it. So, I mean, there's a chance that you'll... Well, it's just the problem is that every year we say, yeah, we're sort of not into Valentine's Day, but then...

Mate, let me just say, everyone says they're not into Valentine's Day, right? But there's something very special about waking up and having a card. Any day that's relevant and having a card and just even the simplest of gifts. What if you give her a foot massage tomorrow morning? Wait, like...

No, no, no. Why? No, because it's just another way to end the marriage. No, but if she wakes up and her feet are all oily and she's like, what the hell's going on? She looks down and you're smiling at her. You want to wake her up with it? I'm at the foot of the bed.

Yeah, and you smile at her. So I've not even got consent for this foot massage. No, but it's like, at first you go, I've got Reggie, stop licking my feet. And then she'll look down and you're like, morning, my valentine. How am I massaging her? Like that. And that is like a dog licking my feet. And then she'll look down and you're like, morning, my valentine. How do you, how am I massaging her? Like that.

And that is like a dog licking her feet, is it? No, because it's massaging her all day. Oh, I see. Okay, fine. Yeah. I'll think about it.

You can nuzzle her big toe and then you've, then you can hand make, you've got a printer at home. Yeah. You've got a printer paper. I'm not doing that. What?

Make her a card. Yeah. And then that. What? Make her a card? Yeah, and then watch as my children give her better Valentine's cards than I've fucking got for her. There's nothing better than a self-made card. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. I know you can't read all the words, but I've got the printing

orientation wrong. It's gone lengthways. You just sit there for hours on clip art i ended up just doing putting the paper clip on there oh god anyway what were we talking about before that digression oh the rugby yeah yeah the rugby. Yeah, the rugby. Oh, you and Martin Keown. Something like that, anyway. Yeah.

I think, yeah, and then, yeah, about the Big Willie stuff. It was a good day out, man. Like I say, I feel tender today. This is probably the worst hangover I've had in about a year and a half. Yeah, I had quite a bad hangover on Sunday because I decided for the first time to make cocktails at home, but I, I, I cooked, I made vegan Mac and cheese. Thanks to the Bosch boys for the recipe.

It's quite good actually. And then I made, I got a cocktail shaker, got some ice, got some tequila, got some Quantro, got some fresh limes and I, uh, made margaritas. Well, for you and Lise yeah were you both hung over the next day I was just sure she seemed to be alright

actually but I was not in a I wouldn't say I was hung over I just talked I don't know it was fun it was like cool

did you watch you or did you just sort of watch an episode of you I would say the the ice requirements for cocktails are sort of almost prohibitive, I'd say. Yeah.

That's why they're best at bars when they've got an infinite supply of ice. It's an insane amount of ice you need. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Apparently, it's worth a lot. We went for a lot of ice for, I would say, a few months. Did you have bagged ice or have you got an ice thing on your freezer? We have got an ice thing, but I wanted a lot of ice, so I bought a bagged ice.

Oh, mate. Yeah. Did you buy cubed or the one that's all smashed up? That's the one that's all smashed up. Oh, mate, classy. Why, is that bad? No, it's better. Better.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's good, yeah. But I don't know how quickly I'd do it again. And also, it's like, it's only really viable if you're making one cocktail. Cocktail making at home, isn't it? Yeah. And also, it's like, it's only really viable if you're making one cocktail. Cocktail making at home, isn't it? Yeah, but also, it's a lot of fucking faff

for saying it's a pretty... It's like, this is why I quite enjoy cooking an egg curry at times, but it's why it's better to get a takeaway in because then you've got all the different... Well, you know when you spend ages making a cocktail and then you go, oh yeah, this is cool. This tastes about half as good as I bought it from a bar.

This is great. And it's taken me me two hours do you remember in lockdown with people there was like that sort of like absolute like it went there everywhere the um cocktail like bringing cocktails to your house businesses yeah what are those guys doing yeah that's what i worry about i don't know i don't know i am i i i i actually bought some of those you know those pre-mixed cocktails in like sachets yeah do you know what I'm talking about yeah I used to drink them from a straw when I went to festivals

yeah oh god they're always just too sweet yeah they're just too much they're too too sweet but the margaritas are alright. But the reason I had margaritas

is because I had margaritas, weirdly, I got into margaritas last week from being in Finland with Rob Beckett for Rob and Romesh Versus. Well, you and Robbie Beckett smashed up the,

smashed up the margaritas. Well, we went to this Mexican place, which Finland is known for. And I got a burrito bowl, which was delightful. I've got tacos, I believe. And then we got a Fernanda, which is like a chili version of a margarita. And then we got a straight margarita.

They were delightful. And then I thought, I'm going to do this at home. And so I basically took that memory of a really nice margarita and tainted it with a really shit margarita that took me fucking ages to make. So yeah, it's nice, man. It is an insane thing, isn't it?

Like when you put so much fucking pressure on to, like, have you ever brewed your own beer? No. I did that a while ago. It was an absolute fucking waste of time. And when was that? Was that during the prohibition of 2004 when beer was hard to come by?

What made you decide to make your own beer? A number of years ago I just sort of had it like a I had just like a thing of thinking it would be an amazing thing to sort of cultivate brew your own beer and then sit back and like on a hot summer's day and take a

swig of this thing that you've brewed you've that you know has come from your heart from your soul yeah and you put it out there it was it just tasted like dog shit it was such a fucking awful moment of actually taking that first sip thinking this tastes disgusting trying to drink just half a pint of this rancid swill and in the end just opened in a can of Carlsberg honestly how close did it taste to actual beer so first of all talk me through the process please well you do the hop, I mean it's a long time ago

I did it, you have these hops what do hops look like they're like little white sort of things like this ok can you hold it a bit close to the camera so people can hear they're like little sort of let me just show you i'll show you a picture oh that's better yeah show me a picture no because if you're listening you can if you're

listening i mean you will be listening if you're hearing this google them please yeah they're like i mean my phone's connected to the internet as well tom no they look like sprouts okay so where do you get these hops from i got a kit how to brew your own beer i'll give myself a refresher well our hops are more extra at first you need to pick up a big old pan with about so i can could have written this actually, it sounds like my writing, with 12 pints of water and bring it to the boil. Add ale, yeast and litre ferment. Siphon the beer into clear bottles. Okay, Tom, when I asked you how you make beer,

what I didn't ask, could you read out loud from the internet? No, it was, mate, I can't even remember things I did last week. So that, yeah, it was, it's a real fucking waste of time i mean to be fair at least if you're making a cocktail at home it's taking you what fucking 25 minutes to make an absolute it takes it yeah yeah i mean then i started but then you start deep diving because you start going how come my margarita don't taste like the one i had in the

bar then you start looking at all these different twists that you could have had in it and i don't taste like the one i had in the bar then you start looking at all these different twists that you could have had in it and i don't know did lisa do the worst thing of like you go do you want another margarita and then she tells me she gets a glass of rose i'll be watching rose well actually to be honest with you um she wasn't really into the margaritas in the slightest oh really yeah she went straight into prosecco or something she was she is a classic classy chick yeah rejecting the homemade margaritas the way things are going I'm going to have to present her one

for fucking Valentine's Day order up for Damien hey how did your doctor's appointment go by the way did you ask about

Rebelsis actually I'm seeing my doctor later today did you say Rebelsis my dad's been talking about Rebelsis? Actually I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis really? Yeah he says it's a pill that well I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis ask your doctor or visit rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsys. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze.

And it felt a little like... Come on, kids. Back to the hotel room. Good night, kids. Good night, Mama. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the tastes without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious,

Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food, it's good food in a cup. Visit Knorr.com to learn more. how was finland finland was great really good really good it's uh i don't know how i feel about being away from home really i yeah i just don't really ever get a good night's sleep in a hotel even though it was a really nice hotel, they really looked after us. The Finnish are known for their hospitality. Are they? Yeah. The Finnish are up in the top,

I think, 10, 15 of hospitable nations within the world. Well, they are very, I would say, you know, I can't make a sweeping

generalisation about them like you would do the Germans, but I would say the ones that I met were very nice. The ones that I met had a nice manner about them. I think, percentage-wise,

they've got one of the highest ratios of Swedish souls in any nationality in the world, the Finnish. Isn't like, is Finland or, no, it can't be Finland. There's some country around there that's like, it's got the highest happiness ratio. I think Finland's one of them. It's not Sweden. Sweden has a terrible time, doesn't it?

I think Sweden's the saddest country. Happiest country. Happiest country in the world. Holy shit. Finland number one. I knew it. Two Denmark, three Norway, four Sweden, five Switzerland. Sweden has an awful fucking...

I'm telling you, I'm getting off internet. Switzerland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Iceland, Israel, Luxembourg, Austria, Canada, Australia, Belgium, Ireland, Czech Republic, Bhutan, Costa Rica. I can tell you where we are. We are not on this list. Oh, my God. Fucking hell's going on here, mate. What a shit state of affairs. Jesus Christ.

America. United Kingdom. Hold on. Finland. Finland, Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Netherlands, Norway, Sweden, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Australia, Australia, Israel, Germany, Canada, Ireland, Costa Rica, United Kingdom, then Czech Republic, then United States. Wow.

There you go. At the bottom of this list, although not all the countries are included, Hungary. Really? Hungary is, actually, it still goes further. I mean, it's nice to think that Finland used to speak to the happiest place in the world. Yeah, I wish I'd known that going in because

then it would sort of colored my the way that I was receiving everything that was happening. Everyone seemed like insanely happy all the time.

There. No, no, because that like, like, if you think of the happiest country in the world, you immediately think that it's gonna be fucking annoying, isn't it?

No, Jimmy, but give some time. Yeah, but if everybody was really joyous and happy, I'd be fucking great. I think I'd love to have some time yeah but if everybody was really joyous and happy that'd be fucking great I think it'd rub off on you if everywhere you went

people were just smiling they're like have a great time be amazing well you should try moving to Disney World if you can do you not think

that would be do you not think that would be slightly irritating I think you go for a spell thinking this is a bit abnormal this is a bit crazy and then you go

into a time where you're like, this is fucking insanely great. Everyone's happy with themselves. You know when you meet people from a certain place and they've been there their whole lives and they're not gone anyway? Yeah, yeah. And then they're slightly strange.

Yeah, but that's pretty much 90% of my friends. That's what happens if you're at a place like that, is that you'd sort of think that was normal and then you go off somewhere else, you get the shit kicked out of you. Do you think that's why you don't really meet many Finnish people when you're out and about in other places? They're just so happy where they are.

Well, if Finland's the happiest country in the world, why would you want to go anywhere else? Also, it shows that they're pretty incredible, because the weather's cold, right? Yeah, it can be. Although, where we were is like, it's two extremes. Terrible winters. Well, snowy winters, great summers.

Oh, wow. But the other thing I couldn't understand is where we were in Finland, for three months a year, they don't have any night time. What? It doesn't ever get dark. So everyone's got blackout curtains? Well, I guess so. I don't know.

I mean, yeah, I suppose so. And then for the other part of the year, you don't get any daylight. Jesus. I kind of like that. Yeah, of course you do, because you like everything. No, I just think that's quite... What do you like about it?

What do you like about it? I like the idea of it just being sunny for three months and just really nice weather, and then you get the darkness, and you're sort of like, you know where you're at. It's just safe. If you had the chance to not...

Because one of the things I was thinking about when they're telling me about this, not getting dark at all, is how does your body clock react to that? Because that sounds quite tricky to me. Obviously, you can get blackout curtains, but like, you know, you wander anywhere. There might be a little cracker light coming through. You know, it's difficult. And then I started thinking, what if you didn't have to sleep?

What if you didn't have to sleep? I mean, if you were able to have some sort of surgery that meant you never had to go to sleep, but you could if you wanted to, would you have that? No, I enjoy sleep too much. I genuinely enjoy sleep. I know, but you're losing, what, seven to eight hours every day. That suddenly becomes open to you. It's tough.

Actually, I mean, yeah. The stuff you could do in that time. For example, I could catch up on you, you know, with you, the program. On you? Right, okay, sorry. Yeah, I'd be able to watch nearly every TV program going. You'd be fucking amazing, an amazing Nick as well, because you could go out for, like, long walks and long runs. Yeah. Work out for it. Yeah, look ones yeah in the morning start for two hours the only thing is if it's only you you've got to hope the other people that have done it are all right good people as well yeah because you sort

of got to imagine the sort of people that do it aren't going to be the most well sort of hinged are they no you know you know the thing i find is i don't know if you've ever done this but i've often not often but i would say a few times a year i have a period where i'm working up till late in the night or whatever or sometimes inspiration hits you in the middle of the night yeah three o'clock in the morning writing by the way which i have done many a time fun because like you do you are quite productive because there's no distraction yeah but feels quite lonely doesn doesn't it? Yeah. I'm going to say this, and I know that it will be followed

by a swift backward tackle from you. I'm one of those sad fucks that if I'm up that sort of hour working or doing anything, you better believe that I'll do an Instagram post to let other people know that I've... If I'm up for like three in the morning and I can't sleep, I will do a post saying,

here we go again. If you do a workout and you don't put it on Instagram, do you still put it onto MyFitnessPal or does it not count? What's your personal role on that?

I like to do these things. I like to sort of set the, I think it's worse the one about not sleeping than the gym. The gym one, I think it's, you know, I feel like stick it up. It's a rule of one. I actually, okay. Well, I think the gym one's slightly different

to the sleeping one, okay? Right, go on. I, well, I have trouble sleeping right and sometimes i look at my phone at three or half three in the morning and you happen to be up as well i never really text you because i think we'll get and get into a conversation because we'll never go back to sleep yeah but when i see you one of my happiest things in the world yeah like two naughty little kids on a slumber party yeah just Lisa going what the fuck are you doing I'm just talking to Tom really

you talk to him for an hour every week and pretend it's a job you fucking idiot go back to something like that but I I am reassured when I see not reassured it doesn't make you feel a bit better when I see a little your little sweaty close-up the light of the phone

yeah by the way can I just say my picture on instagram is a picture of me and you i know i'm really i really love that yeah i'll be i will be devastated on the day that you decide to change it i might change it for another picture of me and you but um no i'm the same i i've i've chatted to a couple of people who uh also suffer with that insomnia thing at that time of night especially when grace was born i i do quite a lot of time i do those sort of um those posts and actually got chatting to quite a lot of dads who are also up and yeah yeah friends were made bonds bonds you know kinship was yeah was lit and what i would say is that's difficult different to the workout one

so what would you say about the that's difficult different to the workout one so what would you say about the workout one do you think the workout one how have you ever posted a post workout uh i did once yeah because um the guy chrissy who's a pt that i try and see when i can but the hours make it my hours make it slightly difficult but he was in lockdown and it was like tough for pt during lockdown yeah because like so i i went and did a workout in his garage and then i just shouted him out not because i wanted to sort of show that i'd done a workout but it was mainly sort of to begin i think i remember yeah whereas you kind of do it uh what'd you do to make people feel about themselves that haven't done a workout that day because that is what's what happens no no no no number one i do it because like you like you're saying about shouting people out uh stan who i work out with is like running a small business he gets yeah i remember that yeah i remember that when you like sort of just you with your like in uh with your arms sort of held aloft and you get up and out and baby 6 a.m weird i couldn't see stan's tag on that one

up and out and baby 6 a.m weird i couldn't see stan's tag on that one but i'm sure people would sort of google a guy wonder i wonder who tom's working out let me just check that let me look into that oh it's now it's stan i i think it's it i i spent a lot long long time in my life not working out and never like focusing on training or being healthy i genuinely now think it has almost not saved my life that's probably too too bigger thing to say but actually like if I will notice a significant change and I was so anti-gym if people said to me I'm gonna go to the gym I'd I'd literally just be like why the fuck would you do that it's bullshit you know and actually it I find it has helped my mental health so much so it's more i think if you were just to sort of shout out and that that side of things okay sure okay you've made it sort of

noble and maybe they're like well played that was what i was trying to do if i wanted to i uh my i had a weird thing happen to me at the gym the other day i was doing i was using the the double cable yeah was you bring him down in front of your chest or whatever yeah yeah is that what you're poking at your bum enough well actually it's funny you say that because i i would say that machine more than any other is the one where i've had people come up to and tell me to do something different on it yeah well that's why you need chrissy on it get your pt on there yeah you'll be really careful with that shit man what do you mean like when it comes to that you're talking about when you sort of bend forward and you

pull for yeah yeah yeah just with your lower back you've got to be really yeah i know but i mean these people they're just people have opinions out there on how to do that yeah but that's why it's like good just to get one definitive yeah voice that you listen to yeah but that still doesn't stop people that's still there is no one definitive voice. I mean, if someone comes up to you now and goes, oh, mate, you don't want to do it like that, and you go, oh, thanks. I've always worried about doing things wrong in the gym.

And then they show you how to do it, and then you do it like that, and then the week after, someone goes, you're all right, mate, I'm Barney. You do it like this. You go, oh, thanks, Barney. You know, someone else said to do it like that, but I'll do it your way. And if you change every week. I You're like, oh, thanks, Barney. You know, someone else said to do it like that, but I'll do it your way. And if you change every week...

I know, but, okay, yeah, sure, I understand the argument. But my point is this. If Chrissie shows me how to do it one way, then somebody comes up to me and goes, you need to do it like this. But then you say, Chrissie's my PT. What do I then say? No.

Yeah, no, you say, my PT showed me this way. I'm sorry, mate, that's how I do it. I find it really awkward. No, no, no. If somebody says, like, do it differently, I then can't do it the other way. I find it too awkward. No, no, no. If somebody says, like, do it differently, I then can't do it the other way. I find it too intimidating. No, no, no.

I think you've just got to go, look, for special reasons, this is how Chrissie told me how to do it. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, I was on that machine, and a bloke came up to me and asked to jump in sets in between.

Oh, no. It's my fucking pet hate. It's never happened to me before. Oh, man. Yeah. I found that that never happened to me before. Oh man, yeah. I found that that's difficult, isn't it? It's awful. That's a tricky situation to navigate, isn't it? Yeah, there's no way of navigating.

You might as well just say, you know what, have the machine, I'm off. Well, I wonder if that's what he was counting on. Of course he was. He was a bully. He's a gym bully. He's a psychopath. Is that what you think that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, mate, that's kicking sand in your face. Hmm. He knows that no, no one in society would just go, oh yeah, we'll just do it and share sex

because you got, especially on that machine out of all the machines because you got to fuck about with changing the weights. Well, I did it. I did it. I shared sex.

Oh, well, I actually respect you a lot for that. Um. I actually genuinely, that's one of the things I respect most about you because I'd have just cowered it out and just gone, I don't make you do it. Actually, genuinely, that's one of the things I respect most about you because I'd have just

cowered it out and just gone, I don't make you do it. Actually, I can probably go do this somewhere else or something else. Sometimes,

sometimes the thing I find weird is people going, how many have you got left on that? Yeah, but I genuinely, what are you talking,

what are you talking about? What are you talking about? I think people should never ask such questions when you're in a gym. just wait. Just wait. Yeah. Do what I do and wander around are you talking about i think what are you talking about people should never ask such questions when you just wait just wait yeah do what i do and wander around like a fucking lost dog trying to pick up any machines that don't happen to be being used and never make any progress do you have a routine like when you go there are you like well i need to use this machine that machine this and

or i don't have certain machines but i do do like, I do push-pull legs. So I'm looking for all the push things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then sometimes I'll, on the way there, I'll go, I'm going to do this today. And then that can't happen because it's like too rammed. I mean, particularly January. It's been very rammed.

Well, a lot of people have dropped off now, right? Yeah. Yeah. I'll probably drop off soon as well. No, you won't. I've had a bad couple of weeks. Right. Okay. Are we had a bad couple of weeks. Right, okay. Are we ready for some emails?

Yeah. Okay. Hello, Wolf and Al from the agreeable hen. I've been married to my lovely husband for nearly 20 years, and whilst we're obviously very compatible, there's one thing that drives me mad. My husband used to smoke cigarettes, and quite rightly wanted to give them up for health reasons and switch to vaping during the daytime i'm at work we're normally

we're normally busy out and about it's not a problem however we both go to bed and i'm drifting off to sleep i'm awoken by the noise and smell and then a huge cloud of smoke and then i can taste the vapor in the back of my throat my husband when smoking would never smoke in bed so i don't know why he chooses to vape i know that vaping is nowhere near as dangerous cigarettes it's not my choice to inhale these substances in such a confined space when i can't move away from it it's also really annoying and disruptive in bed by being unreasonable and should i be more supportive because it was difficult for him to quit the fags however for context it's been three years since he quit i've asked him to stop however he says it's harmless to me and there's nothing in it that's toxic. Eager for your advice.

Much love to you both. Keep being you. Tom Davis. Are you reaching for your vote now? I'm not reaching for it, but... Number one, and Romesh is a very big vaper, but would you agree that they don't know right now

what the risks of using a vape at the moment yeah i mean look we've never we've not had a cycle yet of like somebody having done it for 20 years yeah so it's it's like you know they thought cigarettes were safe didn't they for a while and then they covered it up for a bit when they knew and didn't want the public to know and then eventually it came out that they were dangerous so like we don't actually the truth is we don't actually know and the other thing i would say is off the back of what you just said and also what the agreeable hen's saying a cigarette you lie and put by the way i'm not advocating smoking smoking is terrible for your health and we are absolutely anti-smoking on this podcast but what i would say is with a

cigarette it's anti the anti-social nature of it is actually more helpful than vaping because i would never smoke indoors but i would vape indoors and equally your husband would never smoke in bed and also you put a cigarette out whereas a vape is just constantly on the go there's lots of there's lots of things that are worse about it they're saying that the addictive nature of a vape is more is what is akin to someone like being addicted to a phone it's an addiction that a lot of young people are now getting and i thought you've just gone from your phone to your vape oh no tragic no but it is that the the addiction especially for young people uh i would say though i think you know you have to set some sort of parameter of that i mean it's completely selfish behavior if

yeah he's been incredible he's given up cigarettes but in bed i think the idea of him sitting there vaping all over you um that sort of sickly sweet smell that he'll get is i think i think that i don't think anyone would blame you for sort of saying that. I feel that this is a bit intrusive. So I would have that conversation with him. I think as well it's, you know, whilst it has been incredible that he's given up smoking, I think it's also he's done that for his own health. He's not done it to do you a favour. It's incredible he's done it, but he's done it for himself.

And I think you know it's worth remembering that you can't be there just to facilitate things like you know him vaping whatever he wants personally it's like if I'm honest I've got a real problem with my phone I've got an addictive nature with my phone

and at times it really can piss Catherine off if I'm lying in bed texting or looking at stuff or watching fucking tiktok videos or some shit do you want me literally view it's a life and so i have to be less selfish i have to check my behavior to go well actually it's not fair is it it's not fair sitting there because she doesn't want fucking the phone lit up and me sitting there before i get some fucking guy trying to make a big fucking 20 foot pizza it's

it's not on I had the same thing where I had to say to Lisa look I find it sort of quite intrusive and a little bit sort of inconsiderate when we're in bed and you're fucking Chrissy but again she's addicted and she's tried to give up a number of times. Yeah.

Listen, Hen, you seem like a decent person. You seem like one of those people that we hear from a lot. And I respect the fact that you're trying to find a way of doing this amicably. But I think actually sort of setting boundaries and saying, this isn't cool I don't like it and I think

your husband seems like an absolute Sam kind of guy and I think you'll understand but I think it's a serious conversation to have yo do you ever get that thing I can tell you now my hangover in the last five to six minutes

feels like it's just stepped up seven gears. Really? Yeah. I'm sorry about that, mate. There's a chance I might end up sleeping here in the garage. But actually, can I just say one other thing? For different reasons. Can I just say one other thing?

Why I won't sleep went sleeping garage is because so you know we had the whole instance with the whole like that sound in this garage where catherine walked past yeah it was catherine didn't walk past that was okay my friend of ours emma from around the corner basically listened to this she was chatting to another friend there's like a fucking underneath this was uh where we're living around around somewhere is uh the graves of uh what they call you know like um fucking in the second world war like prisoner war camp oh yeah there's a prisoner war camp grave around here literally okay but you're not reassured by the fact that there's no such thing as ghosts isn't it a bit better i'm not i'm like no mate

do you know the only thing worse than fucking if your house is invaded by ghosts? Nazi ghosts. I think you'd be all right, wouldn't you? They'd probably recruit you. You prick. This guy seems all right. Big, strong boy. agreeable hen uh i agree with tom i i think your husband's being out of line really um i think that if you don't like it you shouldn't do it

it's a but it's that's that's all there is to it i mean it's like this whole thing that vapors do about go there's nothing in it that's toxic say what do you mean it's like you don't want it i just think it's i'm not trying to be horrible to your husband i'm really pleased for him that you're a big vapor right as well yeah and but the the thing is the nature of how she's emailed this is like because there's two types of vaping like this this is so boring but there's two types of vaping. Like this, this is so boring, but there's two types of vape. There's like the big tanks, you know, the big mods where you put a thing on the top and,

you know, you see these guys that hold in the, the, the big boxes or whatever. It sounds like he's got one of those. And those are the ones where you hear this, like, and then it's just like a fucking huge,

like industrial chimneys worth of like vapor that enters the room. If it's that, then that's really bad there are less offensive versions of that there's like disposal ones you can get i know the environmental issues with that or there's like smaller versions you can get that might be a better compromise that you could try because it sounds like he's got one of those absolute mahoosive like mama jamma ones but i would say if that doesn't work and you don't you might not even be inclined to try that because you're super sensitive to it he just he needs to stop doing it and like and it's an easy compromise if he wants to carry on vaping he can do that until it's bedtime you know you can go off and do that somewhere but when it's

bedtime you put the vape away and you get ready for sleep or smash time that that's what happens in bed all right so it's not vapes not vape time in bed so that would be my advice i don't think you're being unreasonable there i think that's a legitimate thing that you can say um i reckon sorry as i was talking to that i just looked at myself in this zoom i reckon there's 20 minutes of every month where i'm happy with the length of my beard really i genuinely yeah it just fucks me up do you feel like okay with it now oh i think it was nice no that's what i'm saying i just looked and i hated it really so anyway we all have the power to shape the world.

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It's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Okay, thank you for your email, Agreeable Hen. This is from the Sticky Stickleback. Sticky Stickleback? What are you laughing at?

This is Sticky Stickleback. I'm a dad of two young ones, so my life is full of noise. So often I listen to podcasts while the kids watch TV while I'm cooking for them. Other than that, I'll try and engage with them. But at the very least, be present and in the moment. Speaking of which, by the way, just as a little detour, Saturday night, was it Saturday night? Saturday, some point during Saturday.

We're coming back, and me and the three boys start boys start trash talking each other about who's best at FIFA. Right. Right. We set up a tournament. Right. At home when we got in. When like everybody played everyone. Right.

Um, this is the bad bit. I encourage gambling. Is that bad? No, I think it's good. There's, there's money at stake.

Wow. What, like 20 No, I think it's good. There's money at stake. Wow. What, like 20p, 30p size vibes? Okay, let's carry on with the email. So recently my partner has started listening to… How much were you gambling? What, a couple of pounds? It was a tenner a game. Wow.

Wow. Who won, by the way? Theo. Well, Theo and I had one defeat each. So we shared honors. Um, but it's pretty, they're great games. I mean, I don't know what the fuck Lisa thought she thought she was having an evening with the family.

Then all of a sudden it gets railroaded by a FIFA tournament that got impromptu organized, but anyway, um, recently my partner started listening to audio books or pottering about the house and in the car and on family trips holidays etc i understand the need to zone out from the bickering and the general dross but she'll often listen to say michelle obama's biography in this case while in conversation with me often asking me to repeat myself for completely ignoring my questions not laughing at my hilarious anecdotes or responding at all like she's been sedated and unable to fully react it's a bit like when you're sort of reading out an email

and the person on the other end of the Zoom is fucking looking around for something. What's going on? No, I just got my foot caught in one of the leads. I was like... I had a bit of a freak out moment. I was like, oh, fuck, yeah. I thought I was going to be able to pull everything down. It's getting to the point that i'm choosing not to say anything or getting snippy

when she proclaims i haven't told her something when i have i know there are worse bad habits in terms of ignoring family members too much mobile screen time working late having an affair etc god you've listed everything of mine how do i broach the subject without sounding controlling or condescending uh i remember when i was in my early 20s and seeing my friend at the time hold his girlfriend's hands while listening to his headphones. Afterwards he explained that she bought him quite a bit, so he'd listen to his favourite music to keep things interesting. Fucking hell.

At the time I was downfounded, but this seems like history's repeating itself here. Am I that boring? Are my children boring? Please discuss. The Sticky Stickerback. Tom. Wow. I mean, it feels like it's got to be a conversation to be had right i don't know number one i'd say that for your wife for your missus i think at times like escapism is important i think like if you're at home all day with young children i think it

can be quite you know it's so full-on i think it's so and actually some sort of escapism listening to sort of you know a grown-up or someone learning like michelle obama somebody you know to listen to somebody like that is is a way of moving away from sort of you know probably sort of what's quite a sort of yeah yeah it's almost like groundhog day so good so it actually just gives her some sort of time it's her own time where she can feel like i don't know she's growing as a person and you know i i think if but i think in any relationship if you're feeling that that's sort of having some friction upon yourself that i do think sort of having quite an honest conversation about it is, is always necessary. Like,

you know, we, we've, we've done that in the last week where we've, we've had sort of ups and downs and, you know, I've just, you know,

as well, as I know happens with one, when I've had like all those weeks where I worked every day in London, and I gigged every night and that was seven days of like constant work. And then I went out on Sunday to rugby so it was like one of those things where actually I have to take a little stop and go actually this isn't really fair of my you know I've got to take caffeine just as a home of grace and you know do yes they go out but it's like me actually going on you know trying to get that work-life balance um it's always

it's always hard but actually having a conversation about it because you know you can both i think end up resenting or having sort of niggles when you've got young children i think it is really really important to actually sort of spend that little bit of time having a conversation between you and you know just checking in with each other and it actually might be something, you know, something that she sort of, she needs a little bit and actually, yeah. So I think that would be my advice is a conversation and explain how you feel. And hopefully she can sort of come back with how she's feeling with everything.

But I wish you luck. You sound like a top kind of guy and uh yeah i i yeah i'd say that i don't think this is the same situation as the one that your friend was in because your friend sounds like a bit of a helmet and your wife doesn't so anyhow i'm gonna pass you over to dr love the owl tom i've had an incredible thing happen to me i've just remembered that i have got lisa a valentine's present oh wow what have you got we're going away for the weekend to a hotel i just totally forgot you just put that on no i didn't i promise you where are you going

i don't want to say where i'm going oh of course this is going to come out before then isn't it and then so we're going away this weekend coming yeah oh god boy um okay right thank god for that And then three or four people might tell you. Yeah. Oh, God, boy. Okay, right. Thank God for that. How did I forget that? You've actually just completely, your whole demeanour's changed. I just feel so relieved. You've literally gone from looking like Jack Lemmon in a sort of like... To Walter Matthau.

Yeah, no, no, no, to Matthew McConaughey. You've just kicked back and you've relaxed. Well, you know. Yeah. Sticky stickleback um i have slightly i don't know what my take is on this i know what it's like to get really into a book or get really into hobbies like that or to get really into listening to something and you sometimes forget like say you get gripped by something, you sometimes forget that you're being antisocial by doing it.

So I've got a little bit of sympathy for your other half. I've got a lot of sympathy for you, but I do also see it from her point of view as well, in terms of sometimes you just go, oh, I really want to listen to this, and then you put it on, and then it just becomes a habit. She's fallen into a habit that is bothering you. That's the sort of the nuts and bolts of the situation.

And, uh, you both have a right, uh, for each of those things to work. So what I mean is she's got a right to listen to audio books and have a bit of time where she isn't engaging with family stuff and you've got the right to be heard and listened to as does she. Um, so I think it needs a bit of structure really is the truth of it. And I think, you know, you need a little bit of structure really it's the truth of it and i think you know you need a little bit of like if we're in the car together it's all right if you don't put it on but maybe you have a i don't know if you if you do a lot of long journeys maybe part

of that journey can be with you with the biography on or whatever i don't know but you need to find a system because the system's not working at the moment because you have an absence of system so um i sort of think you're both in the right um it just needs a little bit of communication i think it's as simple as that but i mean i i have this thing where i'm constantly listening to music all the time and like whenever i go out i don't have it on the headphones when i'm out with the family but whenever i am on my own and out and about i cannot leave the house without headphones and then often i'll just be i'll be walking around the house if i've not got the music playing through speakers i just have it playing on my phone sometimes as i'm wandering about and i

imagine that's quite annoying but um i've started recommending stuff to lisa i'm gradually trying to get into hip-hop so um what i guess what I'm suggesting is maybe find a way of involving both yourselves and, or choose a book together, you know, book club. Yeah. That'd be a nice thing to do.

You could be the new Richard and Judy. It could be something to aspire to. So I guess what I'm saying is, is, uh, look, good luck, my friend.

Um, I think it needs a bit of a talk because, uh, both of you, uh, a relevant and viable argument for for continuing to do what you do you just need to find a way of doing those things in a compatible way good luck okay should we do one more yeah it's going to Jakes as well and really sort of like people have got good hearing. I have been doing the worst Guinness farts

through the whole of this podcast. I'm surprised you haven't heard any of them. No, I've not heard any of them. It'll be interesting to see if JT picks up on any. Yeah, let's see. I mean, I imagine it'll be when I was talking. If you're listening to this

podcast and there's very little of me that's because Tom's audio was completely fucked up you know I've literally been sitting here just

yeah I'm now dreading that this is going to be for me for the next 28 hours well we did I mean we managed with like a fire

alarm going off for half the podcast. I think we'll be all right with a few Guinnessy farts. Okay. This is from Frankie the Flamingo. Dear Wolf, our swan cat and the little legends. Just got back from a lovely meal with my friends and having a great time.

I love them, but I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit pissed off with how the evening went. Recently become single from a five-year relationship, and I'm very blessed to have friends that take me out for dinner regularly. However, over the past few months, I've come to realise that I enjoy eating much more than my friends do. We've just been out for a meal at Mowgli. Oh, God. That's where we went!

Oh, where is your hair? An Indian street food restaurant. If you haven't been before, make sure you go. Turns out I was much hungrier than the other diners. We sat down, looked at the menu, and I suggested getting X amount of dishes for the table, thinking that we'd all share. Straight away, I was told that I was way too much for the table,

and we should only order half the amount of food I suggested. I wouldn't say I'm a greedy ****. I've fucking gone in strong there. But I like having lots of options on the table that I could dip into throughout the night. Couldn't help feeling disappointed by the evening because I ended up trying one third of the food I actually wanted to try. Has this happened to you before?

Well, uh, how do you persuade your friends to order more food? I love my friends a lot and I'm so, so grateful the way they keep my social life adrift, uh, afloat, I think you mean. Uh, but fuck me, I'm hungry and I'll be fucked if they asked me out for a tapas next, I can only order two plates. Sweet love and affection, Frankie the Flamingo. I'm with you, Frankie the Flamingo. I think when you go out as a...

If there's a number of you going out to a tapas restaurant, I think you've got to order as much as you possibly can. I think you have to get as much variety on the table. I've got certain friends, and within our group of friends, we've been out at times, and that sort of fucking idea that you're out, and you go out for a meal,

but people are almost like eating is cheating kind of vibe, and you feel like actually, it's a completely different, the way that people view guys, I think that's what tapas, you need to have the right circle of friends to go to tapas with. It's got to be people who want to,

look, you know, we jest about when we were to the amazing Marguerite Barbeau, what I say, but I love sitting there with you and the boys. I thought it was one of my favourite meals

because everyone enjoyed food. We were chatting about it. It was amazing. It was incredible. Also, even better because I didn't have to pick up the bill. But no, but it was, that's what I like. I like sitting there. You're welcome.

Yeah, no, no, no. Mate, I've said thank you three times. I have to give you a fucking ego massage every time I talk about India Tavis. I have to give you a fucking ego massage every time I talk about India Tavis but that's my favourite kind of night because you're all into the same thing right there was some vegan stuff that I tried of yours

I love that kind of you didn't bring yourself to make a qualitative comment on that no it was lovely, all the food there was incredible so you have to have I think I think when you're going for something like that You couldn't bring yourself to make a qualitative comment on that, could you? No, it was lovely. Mate, all the food there was incredible. So you have to have, I think, I think when you're going for something like that, I think everyone's got to be into their food. It annoys me.

It's the same thing as when you go out and people, you know, well, the split of the bill and whatever, and, you know, he's had this, they've had that, and that can make you feel quite awkward as well. So I think it's finding, if you're going to go out with these people, maybe it's the friends that you go out for drinks with, and then you find other friends, you know, that you have a bit more in common with when it goes out

and you smash a big table of tapas. But, you know, that said, your friends here are pretty amazing. They sound like they've got an arm around you through what's been quite a troubled time. And good friends are hard to find. So, I toast them and I toast you. Keep on doing

what you're doing. I wish you well. That's your advice, is it? What? That's your advice for that email that person's that person's emailed in because they want to order more food than their friends do and your advice is i understand where you're coming from i like to eat a lot of food mind you friends are hard to come by. Keep doing what you're doing. They've emailed it because they've got a fucking problem.

Right, yeah, but that's what I've also said. They've not emailed it and gone, I'm just getting in touch to let you know that there's a situation that requires no advice or change whatsoever. Could you please confirm that's okay? Well, here's some more advice then. I think next time you go out, you just turn around and say, fuck off, this is what I fancy. If you don't want to eat this shit, don't some more advice then. I think next time you go out, you just turn around and say, fuck off, this is what I fancy. If you don't want to eat this shit, don't fucking worry about it.

I'll eat it and I'll deal with the fucking ramifications. Yeah, I actually think I preferred your first bit of advice. Here's my advice to you, Frankie the Flamingo. I do empathise with you. Although I did already, you have heard me talk to Tom about him ordering so much food they asked us to move to a different table i mean you're essentially in this situation yeah but i am uh on your side i think you should be able to order whatever the fuck you want i find

it really weird if you've decided to eat order loads unless it's a financial thing who gives a shit yeah i mean like and if you want to order more food just go i'm going to pay for it myself what fucking business of yours no you can't have any do you mean like i just think it's a bit mad having said that it's not really a solution i think your friends need to be a bit more understanding really is the honest truth but um i would find uh friends uh specific for that thing so for example uh i know if i want to go out for a good meal i'll go out with a tom davis right because you know you're going to get backed up and whatever you decide you know he's going to know the best place to go and you know you're

going to feel absolutely no shame or whatever about what it is you've ordered although you might make a couple of vegan jokes or whatever oh he's carrying away from the dairy there or whatever but if you can part with that it with that, it's a great experience. Equally, though, not all of my friends are into sort of underground hip hop. So I've got other friends that I'll invite to go to a hip hop gig or whatever. You know, you can just sort of, what I would suggest you do is you kind of weed out your foodies. What you're essentially saying, rubbish, is friends are a little bit like tapas. It's a dish for every situation.

And maybe, you know, one day you want the squid and one day you need to go out with the potatoes brothers. Yeah. You know, you're really happy with that. That group that crept across your perfectly manicured. This was God. that was that green that crept across your perfectly manicured beard was a beautiful thing right okay

that is all we've got time for Tommy Davis can you please please take us out the ting hits and runs goals and throws and tries matches in many different ways are won in many different

ways and the celebrations that follow are often elaborate and crazy and carefree. But but it's often that the next day when you stand at the dusty brained hill of cack you know hangover creeping up on you you can sometimes forget just how joyous the moments of the night before or the day before actually were i think if nothing else that's why camera phones are amazing I think try as you can during any amazing moment where alcohol is involved to take pictures videos and the next day when you're feeling like an absolute cack hound look at those pictures and videos smile and laugh and think you know what being sick in the toilet for the last 20 minutes was absolutely shameful, disgusting and embarrassing. But looking at this video of me and Martin Keogh

downing two pints of Guinness, heck, it was probably worth it. Stay true, fellas and ladies and other people. Stay right, stay cool and stay you really good tom thank you so much uh very difficult to know specifically if you're talking about a story from your own recent past but well done for sort of disguising that so well um okay before i choose a song to take us out i just want to read a review that we got on on apple right it's three stars says the tag i'm not going to name the person it says pod equals great music equals neanderthal love listening to the podcast they quite often more often than one more than once each episode apologize for the shoddy and slapdash notes

they're podcasting that's not such an issue for listeners as it's part of what makes it entertaining but the horrendous music at the end is shocking thankfully they have it at the end so you can turn it off as quick as possible when they're calling out people in their moments for their racist and homophobic content is one thing but then playing such misogynistic and offensive music at the end just makes a mockery of all they've just said can i just say uh to you stop fucking this is a podcast you fucking loser all right okay how you can dismiss all of the music as misogynistic and homophobic based on what that it's rap music i say, mate, that says a bit about you. So, genuinely,

from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself. Now, for the song to take us out... Please be my Desirous Wrecking Ball. I was going to go for something a little bit more mellow than what I normally go for. It's a little song that I think Tom's gonna love i i re-heard it recently uh it's it's fireboy dml with ed sheeran oh and

it's called peru and it's absolutely beautiful have a listen see what you think we'll see you guys next time thank you so much for listening to the podcast big up love yourselves and each other bye-bye time thank you so much for listening to the podcast big up love yourselves and each other i'm not playing with you i'm not joking i'm on duty but i'm on low key they won't do me They won't do me. They won't do me. They won't do me. No, they won't do me. When they won't want me. When they won't want me. I'm in San Francisco, Johnny.

When they won't want me. When they won't want me. I just flew in from Miami. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

Thank you.