Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 34: Music vs Comedy

Episode Date: February 22, 2023

We’re talking… stand-up comedy in music venues, aggressive gigs, performing at festivals, singing feedback and a Wolf & Owl Christmas single, bootlace belts, bad parenting and the possibility of giving up swearing. Plus, some email questions on sporting injuries, favourite nicknames and getting to grips with grief. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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natural movement? The Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection is your simple solution. This new collection features a wide range of products from nourishing shampoo and conditioner to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit Tresemme.com to learn more. Yo, yo what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler, that ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing the murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff a puff And a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing It's head spinning, just kidding

Every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog easy now oh my god yo what's that flying through the forest and what's that pouncing and praying and leaping around oh my god if you go down to the woods today you might might see a wolf and owl. My gosh. My goodness. My word. Boom, boom, boom. Wolf and owl in the fucking building. What's going on?

How are you feeling? You feel good? I feel good, man. Do you know what? Do you ever start a gig like that? I've become more and more used to sort of Bernie Mac in the start of my gigs. No, I don't do that. I'm very low key at the start of the gig.

I've been really big, and then I find it really hard to keep that yeah my problem is i've martin too smooth shout out mine doing my warm-up yeah yeah and he gets the crowd proper hate paper and then i come on and you can't help feeling that even though they've bought a ticket to my tour show they're slightly disappointed at my arrival that's the way i like to play it martin martin's a baby like he's another level dj right he's incredible he's insane yeah he's the ability just to literally get a room absolutely pop it yeah he's good i mean it's a hard thing we were talking about this one we gigged together this week we were talking about the impossibility of like following a musical act by how hard it is it's it's difficult the problem is, is like when you sort of, we're in the situation now, you now as

a touring comic will also be in the situation where you will go to watch a music act at a gig that you, a venue that you're going to do a gig at or have done a gig at and witnessing the difference in response and atmosphere to a music act in the same room that you fit in is pretty fucking demoralizing i mean it's bad it's bad you are basically going these people that not any of these people having 100 better time here i think the people that bought tickets to my show would have a better time if they came to this one wait but it does it depends like who you're up against isn't it yeah i mean sometimes i like going to gigs where and i know this doesn't sound like a very owlish thing

to say um but i like going to gigs where it's sort of jump up and you sort of like bopping and bit of energy i mean those that's my kind of vibe you know sometimes i'm on the other side of it there how do you mean? I like when I can just sit, I might have a little dancer in there but I like just to listen and just let the music just take my body over why is it?

I don't know how long we've been doing this podcast here I don't know if I'm yet to hear you deliver an actual genuine opinion on anything because every other time you talk about gigs oh exploded absolutely my head fell off i was going absolutely bananas no no no no you're telling me what you like to go in a little candle i can't go crazy mate what i'm saying to you is i wouldn't say so andrea brucelli right

absolutely i'm not... Yes. How dare you? How dare you? Hold on. Hold on, hold on. I don't mean deliberately because I'm not saying Andrea Bocelli is not talented.

Incredible talent. It's just putting you and him in the same room. I would only do that if it was like you were both getting the tube

at the same time and it got evacuated. He did that song with Ed Sheeran, sheeran right yeah and it opened my eyes up to a world of what he'd done my god what a way of fucking announcing that you discovered an artist what a cool story what a fucking but I'm fucking... It's like going, oh yeah, I discovered him when he was on

in the background at a night's birthday party I sort of happened to be walking past. So I was like, who's this fella who's got a song with Ed? Yeah.

So I had a little listen to it, went through his back quite a lot, I go, fucking hell, this fella, time to say goodbye and all that he knows this

great singer so yeah so got tickets for him at the O2 let me tell you he absolutely filled the O2 he smashed the O2

O2's a bit but I wasn't dancing what was the crowd like at this thing I'd say I was probably one of the younger people there

right 43 Catherine probably was the youngest person there. Yeah. Yeah. And what was the vibe like? So talk me through what that was.

Very chilled. A lot of wine being drunk. Yeah. I had a couple of beers. But it was, there wasn't like, I've got to say, I never felt at any time that there was like any sort of atmosphere. Aggie violence.

Yeah. There was no edge to it it was a very yeah but even like i would say i went to see kane at the royal albert hall and then i went to see him i went to see him again a bit later on i can't remember where that was but um it's like it was properly jump off like you know people go nuts and like bopping and stuff like that but it never felt like i had an edge. It was like, whereas I remember like when I, when I was a kid and I used to go, you know, London, when I, as a kid in Crawley, London felt like another country and then I, and all the hip hop acts would go to Brixton Academy. And for some reason, like, do you remember back in the day when going to

Brixton Academy was like, you felt like you've got to be careful of like people, people tell you stories about Brixton and shit like that do you know it was like it's hilarious now because it's so gentrified like when you're a kid like you're talking what 20 years ago yeah like the had a problem like even like 25 years ago it was like i'm never going to like work there yeah it was just like you'd be like yeah there was an edge to it yeah all of that part of none of my other friends seem to i don't i don't i think they do all sorts of gigs there now but i i seem to recall hip-hop gigs only ever being in brixton academy or in brixton and um like my mates that weren't into hip-hop they're they're you know i earned or not their

perception of what it'd be like to go into go into Brixton or go to a gig in Brixton they're fucking like I don't know what you're doing why are you going to Brixton to watch a gig like it's so mad isn't it

but you know actually the most aggy ones I think I've been to are more like Oasis and like back in the day those sort of

Deadworth vibes and that sort of there was always people that always felt like that has almost that sort of underground football hooligan vibe yeah all those people are in that when it was like proper at its peak just lagered off their tits done a few lines just absolutely fucking chomping at the bit for a row yeah literally like you know that that

face that they're doing there really yeahit? Yeah, yeah. That would be the great chief. You and I are gonna live forever! Who wants it? Why are you looking at me? I was just dancing. Nah, you want it, mate. You want it. You want some of this. Yeah, a bit like that. Maybe I don't really... You're like, oh my God. Yeah. The aggression of that sort of ilk of

V Festival encapsulated all of that, I think. V Festival was... Oh, have you ever been? Never been, no. Man, V Festival, I was of that I think V Festival was have you ever been? never been no man V Festival I was always like when I used to sell t-shirts V Festival was the one

that was like this is why? what was so mad about it? just an air like I say an air of aggression an air of like

people trying to nick stuff from your stall constantly they used to on the last night on Sunday used should go and try and smash into your stool and smash your stool up or smash your van up or whatever it was just a

it just had i don't know whether it was the age of the people it certainly like tea in the park was what i don't know if you know tea in the park up in scotland yeah was wild but it was you're not talking you're not talking to your nana by by the way. I know what tea in the park is. Yeah, I know. No, I'm not talking about the T4 in the park. Yeah. The T4 one. Tea in the park is like a really cool Scottish festival. Yeah, I know.

I know. I know. Okay, cool. Fucking hell. No, I didn't want you to think T4 on the beach. Right, okay. Yeah. No, I know what you're like.

That was probably like your vibe. Oh, Makita Oliver. Makita. Makita. I love your snarky comments at Innocent Pop Styles. I'm doing stand-up and I'm kind of inspired by your style. Is Simon Adams still here? Yeah.

Tina Park had like, like you say about like with some hip-hop gigs although that was crazy there was no it never felt like there was a proper edge edge yeah yeah well i was found out v like it was just yeah v chelmsford was fucking aggy ass well i can tell you now speaking of festivals i am for the first time in a long time playing a festival. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, JT. But I actually think for this moment, you should have some sort of beat underneath what you're saying. A bit of a hip-hop beat, JT.

Okay, so in the past, I've been known to do Reading Festival. I've been known to do Leeds Festival. Oh, you're serious? I think I did the Truckers Festival. I can't remember. It was something a group of Magendi organised. Yes, boy. But this year...

Truckers Festival? Yeah, I think that's what it was called. I can't remember. Yeah, yeah. In Peterborough? I think so, yeah. Yeah, I think I did that. Yeah, yeah.

I played there. Anyway, this year, I can tell you I'm doing a double performance. Boom, boom, boom. Because not only... Yes, boy.... am I doing a comedy set in the comedy tent at Latitude Festival. Latitude Festival. I want an explosion there.

Wow. Let me have it. I will also be taking over the tent with Martin Too Smooth for a little club night we call Hip Hop Save My Festival. Yes, boy. Boom. for a little club night we call hip-hop save my festival wow yeah essentially you're taking over latitude well no i'm gonna you know

no mate if i was another actor latitude you'd be shitting yourself yeah well i hope they do bother i hope you and i know what you're martin capable of. What do you mean? I know that I've seen the videos. I know Bacardi wrong when he gets fucking going. I'm not going to do that. Mate, are you telling me you're headlining the comedy tent and then you're going to go into the ruckus tent with you and Martin? You will have no top on, bottle of Bacardi in your right hand, walking in just high-fiving people. Just smash it over on my own head,

just fucking blood and Bacardi dripping down my torso. Just fucking going for it. Did someone want a party to start? Martin, roll the wheels of steel, baby. I heard Latitude was the car middle-class festival, but I know that ain't right.

I said, I heard Latitude was the boring middle-class festival, but me and Martin said fuck that what did we say fuck that yeah my drop a bomb of these fuckers something like that so some 50 year old guy in a pair of merrills and a fucking fat face t-shirt come running up to you go you're the coolest guy Romesh. Thank you for bringing hip hop to people like me. Anyway, the reason I'm excited

about doing it, but I just haven't, I get very nervous about doing festivals as a comedian. Yeah, festivals are hard. I'm doing a couple this year and they're hard.

They can be tough. Yeah. I did Reading once. I was in Edinburgh for the month and then I flew down to do Reading. can i just say when you do that when you're doing edinburgh then you fly down to the festival you do feel a little bit rock and roll right 100 they're flying you into a festival you feel like yeah david getter i mean yeah and then the difference between you and your residence he has his residency in Las Vegas. Yeah.

The difference between you and David Gett is David Gett doesn't empty the tent as soon as he walks on stage. I've done that at a festival. The worst thing to do, the worst thing to do as a comedian is to reference who's playing the music tent. Because then everybody just goes,

oh, fucking hell, is it? I've seen people do that. I just go, shit, is that scepter hold on guys guys you know what all the times all the festivals i've been at i've never ever looked at like who's playing where i just follow the crowd and follow the vibe yeah that sounds like a really populist no taste thing to do yeah so you don't give a about your actual own opinions no you just no no i'm different from you like you'll be there you'll be like right 7 20 we're going to go and watch scepter uh 9 30 we'll head over to the cool tent and we'll watch uh billy eilish uh and then like you know midnight what you're doing what you're doing is you're

describing what most people do at the festival except you're just putting on a stupid fucking voice to make me sound like a twat. No, but, whereas me, I'm like this. I fucking go into a festival completely fucking like, I'm just open-minded. And then I'll go, hey, what's going on? Where are you going? And they're like, we're heading over to see Junkyard Madness. And I'm like, who the fuck are these guys? And they're like, follow us.

And then I follow them, and I'm having a real laugh watching junkyard madness then i sprint out of there and i'm just like where am i going next and i'm literally just like yeah a tiny twig on the shoulders of a mighty river i'm just going with the flow yeah and then you know eventually eventually leads you to being being in the O2 with a bunch of nine-year-olds watching Andrea Bocelli oh lord I just love music man I love the way it stands for I do too I just love it so

much i just i just wish beyond which i know we talked about this and we tried to do the sing thing which was uh yeah you know what i would love nothing more and we've got a bit of time i do i'd love to release a christmas out as like single which we had time to yeah with me you had time to learn how to sing if there's any singing coaches who listen to this yeah we have much feedback from the singing yeah yeah we did have a bit a lot of people saying well not good not good not good not good no not good i i i wondered if we'd get some you know some a couple of emails from people saying i actually got a bit of potential and like with a bit of training you could but we don't have none of that no i would i'm not just saying this either not a single person said that we've got any kind of ability or potential so uh what we did get what we did get

and just i know this is a slight tangent but i do want to while i remember say this i have been criticized uh a little bit well actually both of us have been criticized for different reasons. So I'm going to out my one and then, without warning, tell you what your one is. If worse comes to worse, JT can edit your one out because I feel like I'm ambushing you.

So my one is that last week or the week before or whatever, when I complained about people asking to jump on machines at the gym. Right. And we've been asked how many sets you've got left. We've had quite a few emails. And on top of that, I've had quite a few messages on social media saying, Ramesh, you need to get over yourself.

And actually, gyms are busy and people have got certain workouts planned. And for you to make people feel bad about jumping on the equipment or asking if they can jump in is really shitty of you. Not that I didn't use those words, but let's just say I have been, I've been chastised. I would say. Well, how many, quite a lot? I would say like easily 10. Wow. So.

Well, you know, if I was played me part in that, my apologies. So. What do you mean? I mean, I, well, no, I mean, I did, I backed you up. Yeah, you did, if I was playing a big part in that, my apologies. What do you mean? I mean, I... Well, no, I mean, I backed you up. Yeah, you did, yeah. Very much so.

So I guess on behalf of the Wolf... I don't know how the Wolf feels about this, but I'd like to apologise for my... You know, I guess, you know, we're not

above criticism here. We're not above changing our ways. I mean, I don't really want to change my ways too much, but yeah. I take on board your feedback.

And... You know what you should do is tomorrow go to the gym and then ask people if they want to get on. Yeah. Yeah. I knew that. I thought that's just, uh, I'll finish my set. You want to jump? Yeah. That's a great show. Yeah.

Uh, the criticism level that you is that, uh, many, many moons ago on this very podcast, you talked about George Clooney, um, advertising Nespresso and, many, many moons ago on this very podcast, you talked about George Clooney. Yeah. Um, advertising Nespresso and that you, uh, incensed at the idea that somebody had, I can't quite get that somebody advertising Nespresso would not be a drink of Nespresso, uh, and in fact, I think you said something like it makes you furious or something like that. Okay. Okay. And in fact, I think you said something like it makes you furious or something.

Right. Okay. And then, so somebody emailed in referencing that and then commented on the fact that you recently did a Guinness advert where you talked about watching the rugby. And then when I asked you if you were a rugby fan recently, you said that you weren't. So listen, I'm going to hold my hands up. Cause I actually genuinely got in a bit of trouble for this. Oh shit.

Seriously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, you know, I was taken out. No, no, no, no no no i i um i was very kindly looked after by a place and i sort of you know made some joking comments regarding um rugby yeah and i had an amazing day i i just think the actual game of rugby was the least

interesting part of it and that's not any you know there's not any sort of massive slight against rugby as a whole it wasn't a particularly good game of rugby if i'd gone and watched an average game of football i'd have said the same thing sure but to compare me to cluny i will have to stand up and i'm not having that criticism great this is what this is what i thought i was paid by guinness yeah when i went to the rugby as i said i had about 18 points of Guinness. I fucking adore Guinness. I'm having a Guinness tap put into my house. I love Guinness. So, yes, on one hand, right, I get what you're saying with the rugby.

But to compare me to George Clooney and Nespresso Insanity is barbaric. Well, Tom, do you know what? I think you've given a great defence of yourself there. And all credit to you. I'd love to come around and try out this Guinness tap at some point. Is that something? Well, yeah. Hopefully, when I'm living near you, you can come around.

I'd love to sort of, I'd love to pour you a couple of ice cold Guinnesses. I'd love nothing more to lean on the bar at my house well I haven't got a bar at my house like a table and just say to you bloody hell how's it shaping up

old friend and like you just put your lips around a perfectly poor Guinness and sup it back it just looks incredible doesn't it

so we're not being paid for this but it does no no Guinnesses when I look at Guinness right generally there's a real, you know,

I still get giddy when it's St. Patrick's Day and around that time when I get a Guinness and they put a shamrock in it. You like that? I still get giddy. Oh, mate. Yeah, all my heritage, everything comes back. I sort of think about my granddad for a little bit

before I take that first sip. It's a beautiful thing, man. It's a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing. it's a beautiful thing it is a beautiful thing and um you know i like drinking so much guinness that your shit turns green right my favorite that's a beautiful thing this episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda.

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You know what? I had an awful situation last night. I did a corporate, by the way, it was lovely, an incredible charity, I should shout out. You sent me a photo. Yeah. And you looked incredible in that suit, by the way. Oh, thank you.

Can I just say the suit was three different suits cobbled together. What, stitched together to make one suit? Yeah, well, I just, like, I've lost quite a bit. You're like DJ Khaled. Yeah, I've lost quite a bit of timber. So I had to get one pair of trousers that fitted from one suit that I had. The jacket, it was actually too tight.

That photo did it a lot of justice. And a waistcoat, it was a black waistcoat with navy jacket and navy trousers. And then the waist of my trousers was so baggy, the belt I had didn't go around it properly. So I then had to, genuinely this is true, I had to get my Jordan laces and tie them together and use shoelaces as a belt. Yeah, how did you get to that conclusion that that was the thing you were going to do like what was that all my trousers were going to fall down and what was quite a right you know quite a sensitive evening so i uh yeah i had to i had to improvise um and may i say actually shout out to nike your laces were incredible they made for a

hell of a belt actually you know the trainers it was yeah go on the ones that you brought me so you took the trainers I bought you yeah and you

took the laces out of those the Jordans I bought you as a present yeah and you made a belt out of them yeah and knowing you knowing you

there's no fucking way those laces went back in those trainers mate I can run and get them you now they are back in you've got an unusable pair of trainers no no no they're back in there now there's a set of laces went back in those trainers right now you've got an unusable pair of trainers round a waistband i can shoot now and go and get those trainers and you would see that they're

perfectly in there now like i can i can tell you now that i put them back in i love those trainers and i love them even more now they completely saved my blushes oh good they show they saved my shame so yeah well they certainly didn't save you fit any time because as far as i know you've already worn them what were they what were they what were they doing i mean you didn't i bought you those trainers i met up with you what 20 30 times after that once did i see you wearing them you've seen them with me once i've worn them yeah i think after i commented that you hadn't worn them i've worn them around and about didn't go it didn't go with your outfit at the time so i know for a fact you got dressed and

thought hell i better stick these on right now i'm sorry that's track suit and jordan no no no i'm not having that that was that was that was a track suit that did they they went nicely i should shout out by the way an amazing charity that uh I was working for, which was the Lighthouse Club, which provides mental health, like, well-being, like, assistance for people who work in the construction industry. It's an amazing charity, man. I knew nothing about it before yesterday. And it's just, like, incredible work they're doing. Like, the levels of you know people suffering with

mental health issues within the construction industry men who aren't talking about it and there's someone who works for a long time in the industry and i can see that it's probably still not an open an open subject that people are talking about this charity is incredible man the work they're doing so i should lighthouse club shout out yeah great stuff man great stuff how's your life you sent me a beautiful picture it's that was my favorite picture you've ever sent me what of us at the dinner last night that was lovely man can i say theo by the way yeah theo looks like the sort of you were quite taken with theo weren't you i love all three of your boys and equal most of his endeavors. But I've got to say,

Theo in that picture, it was insane. I looked at the picture and I was like, if I was out that evening, I would spend most of the evening trying to make Theo laugh

and be his friend. Genuinely. He looks so cool. He has got that vibe, man. He's got a very cool aura, right? Yeah,

he does. I don't know what it is about. Is it a teenage thing or something? But it's just something where you feel like you want to impress him. It's so tragic. No, no, no. He's got that for life now. He's a cool guy.

He's a cool guy. Bloody hell, I wish I had that. Yeah, I do. I wish I had it in droves. I had an embarrassing thing where I thought it would be funny to tell Alex. This is really bad parenting, by the way. It's a prank on Lisa, really. But I thought would be funny to tell, uh, Alex, this is really bad parenting by the way. I just, it's a prank on Lisa really. But I thought it was funny to tell Alex was trying to learn the L the Greek alphabet.

And I told him it went alpha beta. What happened? What happened? Did he say it to Lisa? Did he say it to us? Yeah, he did. Yeah, he said it to Lisa? Did he say it to us? Yeah, he did, yeah. He said it to Lisa. And I immediately corrected. I said, oh, mate, I was just messing around.

Did he not go, why were you messing around? Like, what bit were you messing around? Why was that funny? No, he didn't, actually. Oh, good, that's good. Yeah, he just... He didn't... It was a bad one, actually.

I sort of said it in the moment, trying to be funny, and then said, go and tell mum. What did Lisa say to you? She went, say it goes, mum, it goes alpha, beta, cunter. What did Lisa say? She was shocked, man. She was proper shocked. We're going through it at the moment, Mike.

Me and Catherine have a big row about swearing in the house this week. As in you two swearing? I swear. Catherine's really, she used to swear a lot. She's toned her swearing down incredibly. I'm still swearing about the small things in life. Tiny little things. Like even just like, if i'm talking about saying quite casually

i'll swear i just it's a part of my work you know we've had it on this podcast a lot but i'll i'll i'll say it about sort of like i'll say it's a like a term of endearment or you know it's constantly something that's within my language and now i'm like oh oh shit i i need to sort of like because grace is starting to sort of mimic like you know little words like she'll start if you say dog she'll say dog do you mean say dinner yeah yeah she's starting to sort of mimic things so yeah Catherine's really worried that I have to tone down my swearing how did you do Well, I had a problem with, um, listen to hip hop where like for a while I was,

cause I have hip hop on in the car all the time when we're out and about. And, um, this is really bad actually, but so I listened to it for a while. And then eventually Theo got to an age where Lisa said, I don't think you can listen to stuff with this kind of language anymore. I think it was Eminem that first, she first said, like, I don't think you can listen to stuff with this kind of language anymore. I think it was Eminem that first, she first said, like, I don't

think you can listen to this anymore. And I don't think it's just the swear. And it's kind of the, I will just quickly flag the Angiopo challenge doesn't have much swearing. So no, sure. Sure. Um, so Lisa said, I think you need to stop listening to this. And then now I'm in a situation where if I, if it's just me in the car with the kids i'll just say to them we just put on whatever but remember you're not allowed to use

this language out and about and they sort of get it i mean i think kids like you know i i i think i've said this before i do sort of find it a bit weird that kids are going to swear eventually it's like it's not like you know you're not trying to i get not wanting your kids to smoke because smoking at any age is terrible but like but swearing at some point is like big and clever and amazing so why is it such a huge difference her first two or three words yes sure sure sure yeah so um i don. I mean, my kids don't really swear. Occasionally they do for a reaction. Yeah.

They know, as far as I know, they've not sworn in front of teachers. Because reaction-wise, she's starting now doing things so you, because she knows she'll get a laugh out of you. Yeah. So, the other thing is that if your kid swears and you go ballistic, that's immediate, like, bucket loads of attention, right? You know, you, so what they know, what they start to learn then is that those words have got power and actually that's probably the opposite of what.

I believe, do you know what I mean? You kind of, you kind of want to go, there's only certain, you, you actually want to totally calmly go, you can only use a, well, either you don't use those words at all, or there's only certain context calmly go you can only use that well either you don't use those words at all or there's only certain context in which you can use those words yeah um but if you go oh my god or start laughing or whatever what you're immediately doing is attaching some sort of yeah reaction i mean i'm talking as one of the worst parents you know but i mean that's like that's kind of my take on it yeah i need to yeah i just i need to work out a way that i can still have the affinity with swearing but not using it

as much or just not swear as much i guess yeah yeah so the addiction for me is probably one of the hardest things i'll ever have to quit would you try and stop swearing completely yeah i think for a little bit i just think because i think the trouble is right you do it in a hat if you do it as a part of your job if you do it in a room you know it's so ingrained in how i talk even on stage where i don't think i've sworn much so i will listen back to yeah i have the same and i'll go, wow, I've sworn so much. You know, even last night when I was, like, doing, there was a lot of people in the room of the age bracket,

but probably, you know, there was a lot of families there. So there's a lot of older people there who don't really like swearing. So in my head, I'm, like, thinking, try not to swear too much. I listened back to the stand-up part of last night. I was like, wow, I swore so much. And, like, it's not a thing that I do too much. I listened back to the standup part of last night. I was like, wow, I swore for so much. And like, it's not a thing that I do for reaction. It's a thing. It's just in my, it's just how I speak.

It's how sometimes I express myself. And then I'm like, right. Yeah. Same. Same. I now have to. I don't know, man. It's like, I, I, it happens to me without realizing, like I read a review of the misadventures,

the travel show, my trouble show. And somebody described me as the sweary travel presenter. I was like, I didn't know I was that. I nearly swore there as I said it. And then that was the only time I've checked myself ever for swearing. But yeah, I don't know. It's not good, is it? I mean, maybe we should try and swear less.

Yeah, but then I... We keep saying this, don't we? But it's just not... Yeah, but it's how do you stop swearing as much? And also, why do you stop swearing as much? I mean, what's the what i don't know what the reason is yeah but i like genuinely it's not even on stage that it bothers me that much or on this podcast but i do think if if you're going to stop you kind of got to stop as much as you can throughout you can't just you know if if because then it just creeps into your everyday language right yeah like i was asking what's wrong with that i think as well that weirdly like when i even when

i listen to myself do it i sometimes think i don't it's it's an easy word to use to paraphrase a thought rather than actually going into a description. But then sometimes it's the funniest thing. There's parts of my stand up where it's the funniest part because. Well, no swearing can be used effectively and it's good, but like I use it for punctuation, which is not good. And then there's, there's certain comedians like, and people complain about it. Like there's certain people that go, I don't like comedians who swear and I prefer it when comedians didn't have to swear.

And people like Jerry Seinfeld think it's cheating if you swear when you do stand-ups. Do you know what I mean? Whereas there's other stand-ups that swear all the time. And, like, some really great stand-ups. I mean, like, I know he's controversial, but Dave Chappelle says fuck every other word, right? At least Lee Evans, you know,

he swore all the time in his career. And it's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it, to be honest with you. I might. And it's like, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno how I feel about it. Billy Connolly, if you want to listen to Billy Connolly's swears, the whole time, but that's the thing.

I like, and that's, I sometimes you listen to people as an aggression. I think like the people, free people like to swear at it. Whereas I think like you, when you swear, and I hope for myself,

I don't see it as being like an, like there's like it it's a description description of language yeah there's no way to get mad it's an ingrained in our society now we all do it's not like you know especially from what is a working class background we'll say that some of the most foul-mouthed people I know upper class but it is yeah it's just the strange yeah maybe i just won't quit maybe i'll just use it more and then grace will just get so normal normalized to it yeah you just fuck it man yeah yeah i mean fuck it mother fuck it right should we get into the emails uh okay let's do it okay let's see the first yes uh this is from the injured seal pup dear wolf al swan cat it's february the 15th i'm writing this email with frozen peas in my ass

wow it has nothing to do with a particularly spicy curry or any valentine's day experimentation i recently went back to brazilian jiu-jitsu after a while away and typically hurt my ankle brazilian jiu-jitsu is like that's the martial art of the hard man isn't it yeah it's hard of course yeah uh and typically hurt my ankle i it bent back on itself and made the loudest most disconcerting noise it's also incredibly well timed to just starting a new role at work which i have to be physically fit and healthy for but back to the peas i put a bag of frozen peas on my ankle and raised up to elevate it i wasn't aware that the peas had been open and the escapees luckily petty paw i run down my leg and the next thing i know directly hit onto the ring piece at the time of this email i've not

had a chance to explore whether there's been any infiltration into the arsehole this person's is this person emailing us mid incident i have add, the sensation is not a bad one. I can see the benefits of the pebble. My question is, what's the worst gym sports-related injury you've sustained? Did you treat the injury yourself or go to professional? Love the podcast, and it's probably testament to the fact I've emailed you to take my mind off the intense pain. I've confirmed this is ankle-related pain.

As said previously, the erroneous P's are in the words of Martin Freeman's character in Allergy in the House. Quite nice, actually. Lots of love, the injured seal pup. Wow. Tommy D, sports-related injuries. Sports-related injuries. My knee, man. My knees are just shot to shit. The most gutting one I've ever had and was so painful was before Soccer Aid. I was playing at Chiricah in training training and then the day before the game we were having a kick about and

when Paddy McGuinness and me went for a ball and he went pretty hard in on me and my whole knee buckled and

like fucking twisted all my cartilage up bad and I could barely put any pressure on it for about two weeks after

it was absolutely fucking agony but also like having to try and play until when you're not even able to run was an absolute kick in the old netters um and uh something i'm uh like genuinely that is that's one of the most gutting things of my life. I couldn't... I literally couldn't run. I couldn't fucking... And I got... Like, I was so anxious about making it even worse. And then when I turned up at the hospital,

they were like, you've got no cartilage essentially left in that knee. So I had to put some cortisone in it. And now I just wait every day for it to get worse so yeah that would probably be my worst sporting injury um well thank you for that thank you for that it's very difficult uh when somebody emails in about injuring their ankle and then some peas have rolled into their anus for us to top that as in terms of an amusing sports related story yeah yeah it might have been easy as i was telling it i thought it was actually quite sad.

It's quite dark, actually, and you sort of tailed off at the end. Yeah, and actually, in retrospect, I just feel really sad about that whole thing. I've had loads of injuries, sports-related, gym-related, just general activity-related. I was in the Arctic doing misadventventures and we're riding skidoos snowmobiles uh across the frozen ocean and then we got to the end of the skidoo ride and we had to go up this kind of cliff thing kind of rocks so you had to ride the thing up the rocks which was

much trickier than riding it on snow and um managed to tip mine over, sort of fell onto the rocks. And then I got up and everyone shat themselves because they're like, oh God, the presenters like hurt himself. The sweary presenter. The sweary, yeah, the sweary travel presenters hurt himself. And then the director came over and he said, right, Romesh, I'm going to get someone else to ride that one. And you're going to jump on the back of mine. And I got on on the back of his and then he tipped it over into a fucking ravine the snowmobile fell on top of us all of the weight went onto my right hand shoulder i completely fucked it completely fucked it it's like midway through the shoot and then i got up and i could feel i'd done something pretty bad to it but like i was

still all right like i wasn't it was i was able to move my arm But you know when you go, I don't know how to explain it, I could tell this was going to get worse, do you know what I mean? Like it was just one of them. So I didn't want to make a big... Like, when you say ravine, how big was the ravine? Like it was tiny, it was like tiny, but like, it was just like a, it was just like a tiny, I'd say a mini ravine, a riven, a rivenelli. Is that what it's called?

No, I just made that up, but, um, that's a good name for him. If there isn't a name for him, you should, but yeah, we just sort of ended up the, the, our heads and the top of the snow ended up inside this kind of crack in the rock and then the snowmobiles on top of us and it all sort of went on. Anyway, when I came back, my shoulder just, uh, wasn't right. And then I had to get it all basically had to go for a series of physio and i've got to be honest with you i like i like

going to physio it made me feel like a sports star yeah you've got i've got i've got some regular sessions of physio do you mean i'm not i've got to say that one of my favorite things after soccer eight was leaving the game in crock and cr. Yeah, they taped up my shoulder. And when I go to the gym, you know, you take your top off and you've got like all tape around your shoulder. People just think you're a fucking legend. It's the boss look. Yeah, the less boss look was when I was doing League of their own. And I managed to on a BMX going at three miles an hour both break my wrist and dislocate my thumb with the other hand. Oh shit, yeah, I remember that. break my wrist and dislocate my thumb with the other hand. Oh, shit, yeah, I remember that. And it was like, I got rushed to hospital from the shoot.

I say rushed to hospital, I got driven to hospital. You say rushed, don't you? You sort of drove all the way to the place. And my left hand, where the thumb was dislocated, was completely useless. And then I'd broken my right wrist. Well, the other way around. But anyway, both hands were out of action.

This was during King Gary as well, right? No, that was a different injury, that. Oh, it was, yeah. King Gary was when I was doing the assault course on league. And then I slid down and Jamie's elbow thing hit me in the eye. And I had those stitches. Then we basically decided to keep the stitches because we assumed that Stuart was such a sad bastard

he would have injured himself in fact i think i remember them being taken out and then us having to put them in yeah filming for continuity now stuart williams is sort of prick that would hurt himself like that but anyway at one point in the hospital when i dislocated my thumb and broken my wrist they told me that i might have to get someone to wipe for me really yeah who would that have been lisa or theo um i don't think i would have subjected my children to that they've already got enough to talk to a therapist about in the future um what's that lisa uh mum? I probably would have just got into the fetal position

in the shower and asked Lisa to sort of direct the jet at me rather than ask her to wipe. What about your mum? I'm not getting my mum to wipe my arse. Well, she's done it before.

I know that, but I don't want to say mum. I know you thought those days were over. Congratulations, your son's in his 40s. Just so that you know, if that happens again,

I'll fucking help out if I have to. over. Congratulations, your son's in his 40s. You know, if that happens again, I'll fucking help out if I have to. Yeah. Like, I will put, I'll get the shower head for you. I'm not actually going to wipe, but.

Would you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually think in a bit, like, when, just after we got married,

we had like a week between, like, wedding and then a honeymoon and I went and played five-a-side and then got again had the same similar sort of knee injury

and ankle both went but then got really drunk after got so drunk I forgot I'd hurt them so the next day I sort of started walking about

and realised that how fucked it was went to the cafe to take me to the hospital and I got put on crutches with a cafe to take me to the um hospital yeah and i got put on crutches hospital what's that say it again hospital hospital hospital hospital yeah hospital you sounded a little bit i would say you're flirting on the edges of frank spencer

there hospital oh my god did you take to the hospital yeah so what happened at the hospital um i had to have fluid drained from my ankle my knee and then put into a like a sort of knee brace yeah so i can carry any i was on crutches for the first three or four days of that honeymoon uh which was amazing because it we got put on like the front of the plane got uh like you know like when everyone else gets off the plane and you have to sit and wait like because i couldn't walk off there properly we had to sit and wait and then they got a special like lift thing from the plane to take us down then we had one of those carts that drives you through the airport it's fucking banging actually yeah i can't get comfortable today tom yeah i've you know what i find these late night ones i i don't i feel like my chat's off i feel like my ass is hurting i i feel slightly sluggish because i've had a big dinner yeah i've just i might just made a massive chicken stew and i just had a massive i've had a massive South Indian, big dorsa, dull fucking cauliflower, spicy cauliflower.

Oh, God. What was I thinking? How are you supposed to banter after that? After three kilos of spicy food. I had two fine Sunday mornings with just a shot of coffee and maybe a banana in me. No, that was my fault. It was absolutely my fault. I apologise for that. Mate, yeah to be fair yeah you're really decent about it but i've

absolutely this podcast if you're listening to this episode and you're thinking this is you can lay the blame for that firmly at my door because tom was ready to go this morning and i said no tom what i'd love is for you to make a big old chicken stew. I'm going to order a massive takeaway from the local South Indian, and we're going to smash through that, and then we're going to give the most. You did, in all fairness to you, I can't throw you under the bus. You gave me three or four other options, but I, unless it was not around for any of those. So, yeah.

Anyway, I hope we've digressed slightly, my dear friend. Yes. I hope that we've given you suffice advice. And I hope that the injury... He's not asked for advice. Yeah, but I hope his injury gets better. I truly hope that he carries on the journey he's on because I think he's going to be an incredible Brazilian jiu-jitsuist.

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that's when it's got to be KD. When you got to do you, it's got to be KD. Shop now. Okay, this one is from Happy Mama the Hen. Oh, wow. You told me the hen last week. Oh, wow. Didn't we have a hen last week? Don't know. Yeah, I think we did.

Yo Swan from the Swanery, Owl Ski and the Wolverine. Too familiar. Apologies, I've just been playing you guys on loop in my lug hole, and it just feels right. I love this person already, by the way. Yeah, I thought you would. Mama of Four here, nickname's Creeping with the Kids, maybe a little strong at times. My seven-year-old whilst at school the other day was asked his middle name, and he I thought you would. Mama of four here, nicknames creeping with the kids, maybe a little strong at times.

My seven-year-old whilst at school the other day was asked his middle name and he replied, Clark Dooberger. My God. Why has that elicited such a laugh from you? I just think it's great. I love this person. They've got a vibe.

My question to you is this. What mate slash kid of yours... I my question to you is this what mate slash kid of yours i'm gonna kill this one for this what my question is what mate slash kid of yours has the funniest nickname and why never change let's banter hi bravado low keep doing you what a great email by the way well that's incredibly i love the way you wrote this yeah i think anything the head anything we say after this, I think you're the star of this week's show by quite a long way. Yeah. By the way, just so you know, we've set a low bar.

My favourite... My arse, man. I cannot... Do you know what? This is it now. I'm buying a new chair. Can I show you what I'm sitting on? I've got another one here.

This. Why are you sitting on that? Because that's what I've got in this studio. You've got a beautiful office. An incredible... To be fair, my butt's absolutely in pieces. I need to get one of those. Do you know what?

I've got my other... In my actual study, I've got one of those gaming chairs. And I swear, man, you can sit in those for 36 hours you won't get uncomfortable it's insane right that's why gamers game yeah that's yeah really good really good observation that is why gamers game because of the comfortable seat you're absolutely right tom my favorite name person ever um there was a kid at school um that everyone called he was called paul hearn but everyone called him paul hearn friction burn because apparently he got caught wanking at school um that's one of my favorite ever uh

ever knows um and also a kid that joined our school um and he he joined from another school uh i don't know why sort of there's a cloud of sort of mystery about this kid. And his name is Matthew what Viacom. And he was like, he had a thing wherever like people when you sort of chats that chat to him and talk to him his hands turned blue. Hmm. So fly. He had this weird call him. No, you just know just called him Matthew Viacom. you want to like so hold on so what you took so sorry are you just doing people who've got afflictions now no no i loved his name matthew vikov it was very different right okay

from why did you have to mention the hands thing well no no because that was sort of like a sort of like x like if if i'd known about x-Men when he was there I'd have thought oh fucking hell he's definitely an X-Man yeah what situation would that be useful oh I don't know if

well I'd never touched his hands like when they were blue it might have been ice cold so he could have like given someone a chills or something or frozen someone

it was the same thing to see yeah the rest of his body would be normal and his hands would just go this weird shade of blue and then what would happen as soon as he stopped talking to them they'd return to a normal colour

yeah the blood would go back to them he was really like are you making this up no I swear when you spoke to him his hands turned blue yeah and then seriously he came to our school for like a term

then he left again and no one ever heard from him again. You know, genuinely, a bit like, I know it happened in this country, but I've tried to find him. I've looked for him on Facebook and LinkedIn and stuff. I can't. Sometimes, parts of me think, fucking hell, did he even exist? Oh, well, I'm wondering. I find myself wondering the same thing, to be honest with you.

A guy that was there for one term, his hands turned blue when everyone spoke to him. Have you actually had a conversation with anybody else? You sure this wasn't just a fucking invisible friend you had? We've been here before with Tony Walsh. Oh, yeah, I forgot about Tony Walsh. No, this guy,

I might message some people from school and see if anyone ever, people remember him, but yeah, he was, he was, he was like a strange, you know,

he looks like probably about eight or nine years older than the rest of us as well. So yeah, it was a strange, strange character. Yeah. Um, well I, um,

I have nicknames for all my, uh, kids. Do you? Yeah. Like call charlie chisel nice alex is lex that's pretty cool theo is just theo and then i had a mate at uni that was called biscuit because he really liked biscuits right and i had a mate called richard williams everything called dick willie um that's it really that's it for me uh i used to drink at a pub right and um for a long time people would talk about a guy called pete the axe right and everyone was raving

about this guy like pete the axis pete the axe that and i built this character in my head um who was fucking going to be absolutely terrifying and when he came into eventually showed that came into the pub one evening he was quite a sort of meek sort of normal bloke yeah and comes in and he was like this is you know hello josh jackson this is pete pete yaks and I was like, I'd imagined this absolute fucking psychopath. So I pulled someone up and I was like, why do they call him Pete Yaks? He was like, oh, someone down here basically needed an axe and he lent it to him. So everyone just called him Pete Yaks.

But it sounds terrifying. If you were to hear Pete Yaks, it was just because he lent someone an axe. Sorry, I would find somebody that was able to lend me an axe pretty terrifying to me who the got an axe but he cut down trees for anything that's one of his it was a tree or tree surgeon whatever so a tree smith so a tree smith has got an axe yeah and that becomes his nickname yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like guys that's john the chef's hat why oh, that's John the Chef's hat. Why? Oh, because he's got a chef's hat. Why? Because he's a chef.

What the fuck are you talking about? But he had a little bit of an aura. I actually said to someone, his nickname should be Petey Trees. That would have been better. Yeah, that would have been better, actually. So, listen, I guess thanks both to the hen and the swan for this email. I think we can all agree,

if there were baftas for podcasts i think that'd be the clip we'd be sending in um if anyone who went to my school wants to get in touch about matthew vicar if anyone remembers him to shout yeah actually do you know what do you know that there's a tiktok isn't there of that um there's some australian radio show isn't there where they ask people for nicknames and the stories behind them we should rip that off yeah there's one guy that like i remember they're telling a story about a guy who's like had a really wobbly head and he just sort of like couldn't walk without his head wobbling about and they called him sniper's nightmare

and then like they had loads like really funny ones. That's a good one. Can you send some in, please? We need some content. Basically, you can tell by listening to this. We're having a fucking... We need something for an evening. If the evenings start kicking in like this, we're going to need some items. We need to get a bit like... We've got no structure. I've been listening to Parenting Hell.

They've got like jingles and little format points and stuff like that everyone apart from us says that yeah we need to stop doing that we're the only people who have no format and we even start to do then we remember our small businesses item what we're doing. There's never been more evident than now. What the fuck is going on? It really is absolutely fucking pathetic, isn't it? Anyway, should we do one more email? To be fair, the only format point that's stuck, yeah.

Let's do one more email. What's the, yeah. There's just two more emails. What's the format? They talk, they do some emails. Tom does a story about an animal with a name and then Romesh chooses a song. And even that's led to complaints. Christ. Okay.

This is from The Gangly Giraffe. Right, okay. Hi, Wolf, and I really love your podcast. Makes you laugh out loud. And makes me feel like I'm listening to Friends. I'm writing in today as I'm stuck in a bit of a rut at the moment. My nan died recently, and it's really knocked me. I don't think it's just to do to my nan's passing.

Not just due to my nan's passing, but I'm struggling to have the drive to work or get off the sofa. Questioning if I'm in the right career, whereas usually I'm pretty happy. I also love going to the gym, but I'm struggling to get back to it, or get off the sofa questioning if i'm in the right career whereas usually i'm pretty happy i also love going to the gym but i'm struggling to get back to it although it'll be good for me i was wondering if you ever ever had a lack of drive and how you got yourself out of it thank you the gangly giraffe tom yo the gangly giraffe um i'm sorry to hear about your grandmother man um uh and i'd say that actually when someone you care about and love dies, I think it makes you question a lot of stuff, even subconsciously. I think you can overage your eyes to quite how short life can be

and the frailties of it. I think you inwardly, as silly as it sounds when it comes to, say, even training, you can sometimes question what's the point. Yeah, so I think it's a matter of trying to, number one, let grief do its work and go through that process, let the process sort of don't hide away from it. I think we've talked about this before. I've managed to do that through quite a lot of years I've not grieved over

sort of loved ones dying enough and I've not really paid it the sort of dues that it deserves I've sort of shrugged it off and just gone with life and actually it's done me no favours and I think actually taking a little bit of time and you know letting that be the moment where you look at your life

and maybe you will question your career. There's never a problem in questioning where you're at in life and who you are and whether you think you can do something better. You get those ups and downs. I think it's just a matter, like I say, of just riding this wave and getting through the other side. And I think talking to people about it,

remembering your grandmother in the best possible way that you can and not being too hard on yourself. Be a good friend to yourself because you're the best friend that you're ever going to have. Talk to her with you, sister, cause you're the best friend that you're ever going to have. Fills all with you sister and, um, keep on doing you. And I hope that, um, yeah, I think turn around. Uh, gangly giraffe. Um, sorry to hear about your nan.

And I echo Tom's sentiments that you sort of have to allow the grieving process to take its, its path. Um, with regards to going to work and going to the gym and all of that sort of stuff. If those are things that you normally enjoy, uh, then what I would say is, is that you kind of want to get to a point where you're, this is what I found helpful to me, um, is that you fake it till you make it. And what I mean by that is if you don't go to the gym, if you start like not putting yourself into work or whatever, those things, those habits become

very difficult to break. And so my advice to you would be to take yourself if you can at all, once you feel like you have kind of not, I don't, I'm not suggesting that you're going to fully deal with your nuns passing, but once you feel you're in a place to do so, get yourself to the gym, get yourself looking after yourself, get yourself sleeping right, hydrating, all of those things, looking after yourself. And you just do that until it becomes habit again and you will feel better more quickly. I've had that where I've just not wanted to go to the gym or not wanted to go to work.

I've had that where I've just not wanted to go to the gym or not wanted to go to work and by actually just going and doing it you actually find yourself sort of almost tricking yourself into feeling you're back in the zone or you're back in the game but if you don't do those things and you allow yourself to sort of wallow

or sort of do nothing that becomes an easy place to stay in so I'm not suggesting that you rush through your process of getting over your nan at all. But I think that if you were normally motivated by work in the gym, you will be motivated by them again. So I would as soon as as humanly possible get back into it. I mean, I had that when my dad passed away, I didn't want to gig and then I got back into it and very quickly it became a solace for me sort of getting back throwing myself back into things so um yeah that would be my recommendation obviously uh this sort of advice isn't one size fits all so

you know um but good luck to you i'm sorry that you had for your loss and i hope you can get back onto the path as quickly as you possibly can. Good luck to you, Gangly Giraffe. Okay, Tom, that's all we've got time for. Could you do us the honour of taking us out, please, my brother? Hey, how you doing? Friendship. What is friendship? Well, some friendships can be like a tale as old as time, like a artefact that sits upon the earth, something strong and bemusing like Stonehenge,

something that's been there forever, a friendship that has lasted decade upon decade. Some relationships are a little bit newer, a little bit less old, like Big Ben maybe, or other places, like the Taj Mahal, or other man-made creations. And then there's those new friendships,

like a new estate, or the O2 Arena, or a football stadium that's just been invented somewhere around the planet. The point is this. Much as the world grows and society grows, also friendships can grow. Sometimes it's great to have friendships that have lasted year upon year and there are tales that can be told from time after time and memories that make you and that friend chuckle but actually there's a lot to be said for those friendships that are new and fresh

that sometimes you're standing in an arena for the first time side by side and the mustard laughter that congregates across your face is something pretty special. And as that happens and you look at a new friend, someone you've just met, and you think, you know what? I hope in 20, straight 40, or even 80 years, we'll remember this moment. Cherish all of your friends, and remember, some of them, some of them, the best ones best ones will always be there my guys my girls

my friends wow thank you so much tom that was beautiful yeah yeah thank you i sort of yeah i started with a thought and then i didn't know where it was going well i'm a lot better these in the morning yeah no but i thought it was great really beautiful and a lot better at these in the morning. Yeah, no, but I thought it was great. Really beautiful. And I'd just like to say thank you, Tom, for your wonderful, wonderful thoughts this Sunday evening. That actually feels a bit like a song to praise servants. Yeah, I felt like I was getting into that vibe.

Dave, a.k.a. True Goy, from De La Soul, sadly passed away recently. So I thought we'd play out a De La Soul classic to take us out of the show this week. JT, could you drop a little bit of one of my favourite tunes by De La Soul? Stakes is High. Rest in Peace to True Goy. Take care of yourselves, guys.

Thank you for listening to another classic episode of The Wolf and Owl. Peace. Thank you so much for joining us on this journey. We will see you soon. Much love. Take care. Friendship is true. People try to snatch the credit but can't claim the card Showing out in videos saying they co-star See shit like that'll make your mama cry Better watch the way you spend it cause the stakes is high

You know them stakes is high If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all Please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.