Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 38: Visible Nipples & Museum Snacks

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

We’re talking… velour loungewear, visible nipple issues, zips and buttons, museum snacks, a Wolf & Owl male sports bra, hair plugs vs wigs and the many quandaries of cosmetic surgery. Then, after a bit of Apprentice chat, we answer email questions on sharing mortgage costs, doing things in the wrong order, Far East travels and photo mishaps. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Rules apply. Canada only. No purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. now on the Tim's app rules apply Canada only no purchase necessary visit the Tim's app for details yeah yeah what you want beak or jaws feathers or fur sharp teeth or feet with claws whatever's preferred they'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves then podcast the body parts get severed and served bring your weak shit where the wolf and owl are that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole

thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff a puff and a expect killings Red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive innit The death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog hello hello hello hello hello welcome once again to this little spaceship spaceship yo there's little to this this little uh little um you know Do you know what?

When we logged on and I saw that jumper and I'm like, my guy is wearing like a velour on a Sunday morning. Yeah, I'm not sure about, what do you think? I like it. If that's a whole new level of chill to bring to this party. Yeah, it's like urban loungewear.

You know the thing about velour which I really respect is velour clings to it. I'm really enjoying know, the thing about velour, which I really respect, is velour clings to it. I'm really enjoying the way you're saying velour, by the way. It clings to everything, doesn't it? What do you mean? What are you saying? No, no, you look good.

But I'm saying that I don't know if I'm in a position right now to wear velour. I think you are, because I saw you on Jonathan Ross. Oh, my God. And, oh, my God, the drip. I'm surprised I didn't have to replace the sofa or the drip that you left behind when you got up. Mate, you know...

You look good, boy. What were those trousers? That was a decision, wasn't it, those trousers? Yeah, they've been sitting in sort of a little lockdown vibe for a while. A little box break glass in case of chat show. With a pair of white Air Force Ones just sitting there. It's your time now. Like Superman, just pulling them out.

Yeah, yeah. There were little Pharrell Williams collab that he did with G-Star. I've had them for about seven years. And genuinely, they're not a new pair of trousers but i only wear them on special occasions and uh yeah yeah i was he brought out some banging i don't think you can get many more but he brought out some banging little designs and there's a red pair that he did a red check pair that i water the paddington

uh premiere makes sense yeah it makes sense yeah Premier. Makes sense. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. I've got a bit of an issue this morning, Tom, that I'm bringing to the podcast. I'd love to know your opinion on that.

No, no. You're the only person I know who's got... Like, your outfit right now reminds me of someone who's in, like, a sort of Tarantino movie as a character you like the most but you know it's going to get iced pretty quick that's what i look like now yeah yeah yeah okay thank you um i uh i went to the gym this morning yeah and um i have a situation i don't have to talk to this about this before but i don't care if I have, because it really is bothering me. My nipples are always visible.

Yeah. Mine are. Yeah. What the fuck is going on, man? I looked around the gym, nobody else has this issue and I'm walking around and it's just like, just rock hard nips going through the t-shirt and then on top of that, let me tell you this now. I think mine are like that now.

Yeah, like that. Mine are worse than that. They're like fucking... So when I did avoidance... To give you a bit of background on this, when I did avoidance, I told the costume... I mean, imagine having this conversation.

When I first met the costume girls, I said to them, I have an issue with my nipples. And that is that they sort of will, they're visible through a lot of material. So they go, Okay, don't worry, we've got it. And they gave me these little plasters that I think are for women. Yeah, they're the flowers. Yeah, right. So it's like a bandaid cut in the shape of a flower head yeah that you put on your you put on your hair like you got a hairy chest i've got a hairy i've got the most unattractive combination which is not hairy chest but my nipples are like a fucking wooded area i i think i've got like i've got much hair around my nipples. I've got very hairy chest, very like 80s Tom Selleck vibe. So every day there'd be my costume and there'd be a little sachet with these two flower heads in.

You know, they use those on like shows that they don't want to be sexual at all. Right. Well, yeah, I give you avoidance. Anyway, so, so, so I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I give you avoidance anyway. So, so, so I, I knew every day when I finished filming, I was going to have the agony of, of tearing some flower heads off my hairy nips. Right. And then, and then on top of that, every now and again, I'd forget to put them on and I'd film a scene and we do a take. And then one of the girls had come up to him, whispered to me, we have a nipple situation. And then I'd have to go'd film a scene and we do a take. And then one of the girls had come up to him, whispered to me, we have a nipple situation and then I'd have to go off to a room and everyone knew by this stage. Cause I kept forgetting.

Did you talk openly about it? Um, I didn't want to, but the thing was, it was like, it just became common knowledge. So, but then today I had the t-shirt on and my nipples are showing. And then I put my hoodie on over the top. Tom. Tom. My nipples were visible through the T-shirt and hoodie.

Through a hoodie. What's a hoodie we're talking? It's like a fucking princess in the pea. Nipples can go through any number of layers. What's a hoodie we we talking? It's like a fucking princess and the pea. These nipples can go through any number of layers. What sort of hoodie are we talking about? A thick cotton hoodie? A thick, mate, a thick hoodie. Jeez, man.

Like, mine are quite Jennifer Aniston in their look. What does that mean? Like, they're quite small and dated. What a great way to ruin Jennifer Aniston for you, Billy. I've got quite a small nipple, like, you know,

quite a delicate nipple for a big man. Right. You know? Here's my question for you. Is it, is it bad? Is your nipples, is your nipples being visible the same as being caught with your flies undone?

I mean, is it an embarrassment? No, having your fly, by the way, I had an awful situation with my flyers. This week at work, a new company started. We've got a few new people at work with us. I knew that you'd be able to big up the company off the back of a nipple story, so you're

welcome. And I was chatting to a few new people who work this and uh as I sort of walked off thinking that was a conversation that went well um I I realized my flies have been undone the whole time I I really I have a terrible thing but rolling between I used to always be a button guy right yeah and now you'll see a pair of trousers you like they've got a fucking zip fly right and I have a real problem going from zip to button from zip to button. I find I've never, I'm never flying over the button. It's like,

you know, essentially a shoot that always opens with like zips. It's a lottery. I don't know why it just, I'd say wearing a zip fly 75% of the time it's undone. That's the same for me. It's the same. Why is it like,

why don't we like, it's such a strange, i started to wonder if there's something about my body that undoes or something about the way i walk that undoes the fly because it happens so much yeah i think there's it's one of two things here either i've got a weird gate yeah that means that my fly is just undue or i am just that much of a fucking idiot that I can't ever remember to name a flyer. I think it's the second one for me. I genuinely do. What, that you're an idiot? Yeah.

Like, I can't... Because we both can't have the same body that flies come under. I mean, the very nature of the way that flies... Because, you know, flies are based on how tank tyres work. Like, the grip. Like of how a tank... What do you mean?

You know, like tank wheels. So that they could... Oh, yeah, no, because they often link tanks together, don't they, to make a chain of them. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, but they could do

if they wanted to. They could link tanks together. Well, they could link their wheels together, yeah, because they'd fit in perfectly like a zip. No, they wouldn't. They would.

Mate, they... This has got squirrels hibernate written like a zip. No, they wouldn't. They would. Mate, they... This has got squirrels hibernate written all over it. No, seriously, look at... I'll tell you what, I'll take you, we'll go and get a couple of candy flosses or whatever you want, I don't know if candy floss is vegan, right? Or a couple of cups of coffee, we'll go to the war museum, right? Have a little bowl about

and then I'll show it up. We'll go into the... Do you know what I'd love to do? Do you know what I'd love to do? I'd love to go to a museum that is about the horror of war eating candy floss like I'm on a theme park. I think that is absolutely the most appropriate thing to do. What would we do?

Would we wear little t-shirts and say, I love war? No. I just thought it'd be quite nice to get a candy floss. We don't have to eat it until we go around. We can show some respect

and then we have... You know what I'd like, Tom? When we get to the Hitler bit could I have an ice cream well do you think do you not have snacks when you go around museums no

really if I was going around an art museum maybe I'm not fucking eating popcorn as I go around a war museum

are you mental no I'm just saying if you go they have cafes there I know and you sit in the cafe. You don't go get a fucking bag of marshmallows and just tuck into them

as you go and read about the horrors of World War II. If I'm... You've got to show some fucking reverence. If I'm actually engaging with material or I'm engaging with education, I find I actually engage more if I'm sort of eating. Okay, we need to wear a T-shirt saying that because otherwise

you look like a massive prick. You need to get a bib that says I can only take in historical information while I'm eating sugary snacks. Yeah, but don't you, like if you're watching an Attenborough documentary, don't you always go, if I have a bag of crisps right now, I reckon I'll take it in bag. Listen, in the privacy

of your own home, I don't care if you oil up and crack one off to an Attenborough documentary. What I'm saying is, when you're walking around a museum, walking around with... So you're telling me, right, if me and you didn't know each other, yeah? And we're both in the...

God forbid, by the way. No, that'd be awful. It's probably one of my worst nightmares. Yeah, my life would be so much worse. Anyway, go on. And say you were with Lisa and the kids, right? And you're like, oh, see, I come over come over here's an interesting thing about aeroplanes all right and then i walked past and i was eating a toffee apple i said i'm sorry mate just getting past

like and i sort of said oh you know lovely family you know what a beautiful family you have sir and then you'd be like oh thank you very much sorry are you on your own are you on your own yeah yeah yeah what are you wearing uh probably if i was going to go to a museum i'd probably i'd

actually probably dress museumy there's probably have like a polo shirt turn up to the war museum in full camo

would you like no i'd have like a jumper with a nice polo like collar popping at the top yeah probably

a red jumper with some sort of nice sort of jacket or blazer uh pair of sort of uh nice trousers and probably just a nice pair of trainers sort of clean crisp pair of trainers so and okay carry up so you okay that sounds all right so what so talk me through what happened in the top of the apple i said what a lovely family you have i hope you're enjoying like the history of um you know war and stuff and you'd be like oh thank you kind sir and you'd turn around and go see airplanes were invented in 19 i don't know 1918 or whatever um and uh

as i was walking off there i said why is that manning at the toffee apple what would you say first of all none of that would have happened okay i wouldn't have engaged with you like that if i was with my family and no disrespect to you i love i love the bones of you if you wandered over to engage in conversation while eating a toffee apple first of all i'd say kids let's not talk to that man and i'd probably say something to security there's a man on his own approaching families with young children. I've just got a horrible vision of you standing with Lisa and Lisa going

he's going, he's going and then you just in the background I didn't even say anything mate I didn't even say anything just you finishing off your toffee apple and you look across I'm with security

and I'm pointing you out so I'm sucking the stick yeah open the bag pull out your second toffee apple What's going on? You can't show that to me So what, is it frowned upon to eat in museums? What about, okay I've got no idea

Science museum I think is fine Natural history museum You said, yeah, natural history museum Probably okay I just think a war museum has a different vibe to it Okay, cool It's fine. Natural History Museum. You said, yeah, Natural History Museum, probably okay. I just think a war museum has a different vibe to it. Okay, okay, cool, cool. Do you know what I mean? This is where they used to keep prisoners.

Oh, really? Just some salt and caramel fudge. If I was eating, like, saying sort of more respectful, like... I just don't think you should... Can I just say, I just don't think you should eat as you walk around. Well, what we're going to do then is we'll go have a bit of lunch somewhere. like I don't like that I just don't think you should can I just say I just don't think you should eat as you walk around well what I'll do what we're going to do then

is we'll go have a bit of lunch somewhere maybe get like an Italian or something or go and have a nice lunch together right

a bit of pasta pizza whatever you fancy on me right then we go to the war museum nicely fed

but actually showing respect by not eating when we walk around and then I'll show you how tanks work. Basically, what I'll do is I'll go to one of the guys, one of the sort of brain boxes who work there. I'll go, sorry, mate, can you come over here? Sorry, mate, could you explain to my friend how tanks click together like Lego? No, no, it's their tyres click together like that.

They don't. Like a zip. They do. And he'll go, oh, yeah. Oh, God, I can't believe you didn't know that, sir. Come with me to the tank room. And we'll go to oh, yeah. Oh, God, I can't believe you didn't know that, sir. Come with me to the tank room. And we'll go to the tank room and we'll show ourselves out. You know, while we're in, we might as well look around and see some of the other stuff.

They'll say, oh, lovely. It's good that you both show your respect. Shake our hands. Yeah. And then we'll go off and... Sorry, sir, just a quick thing. While you're going around sort of some quite harrowing images, do you mind putting away the candy floss and the lollipop?

But that's, yeah, zips though. I think zips... Okay, anyway, so the point is zips are based on tanks. Yeah, yeah, but look,

zips should work better than buttons for me. Buttons, there's no reason that buttons... You know, if I was in a situation where i had to rely on a zip or a button i'd probably put all of my also can actually say i don't know if this is a thing zips recently when you buy certain clothes from certain brands what is with the two zip thing

what do you mean you know you got like you'd say you'd have to on a coat yeah mate this is one of my fucking it's i can't ever get it right. It's driving me fucking mad. Oh, no. The amount of times when it's cold or it starts raining, you go quickly to zip your jacket up, but you can't find the... There's two of the fucking zip bits. Well, sometimes you zip your coat up,

you match the wrong zips, and then you've just got this loose flap kind of hanging off the front of your coat. Or it just comes off the runner completely. Yeah. And then you've got to try and walk around trying to fucking fix it. Honestly, I don't know

there's certain things and look I know that there's boffins and there's whatever out there who've got to

try and earn a pound note but I'm like why have you got to change stuff it worked perfectly

we had no problem with zips yeah it does feel like yeah and look

I'm still very very very much shit out now zips on bought two pairs of

tracksuit bottoms in the last couple of weeks. No zips on the pocket still. And from big brands. Really, Lloyd. And from big brands as well. No, no, I'm saying what? You wouldn't expect it from the big brands. No.

Those are from legitimate brands, by the way no zips on the pocket just so you know in case you think it's just happening with underground sort of independent brands

these are two big brands all smaller brands have always got zips on their pockets I'll name anybody that I used to go to school with that had a horrible condition I will not name these brands

I'll say one of them's Nike right now oh my god Nike they've got to have that they've got to have more yeah they've got to give more care

to people the amount of time I went out took grace out yesterday the amount of time my phone just fell on the floor every time I was sat down mate

100% phone on the floor from a tracksuit bottom it's a it's an ongoing issue man I i've had my phone this phone for three weeks now i reckon i've dropped it 27 times there's a tracksuit bombs yeah you know the bit i hate when you get in a car and it just falls down the side of the seat yeah my brother picks me up and admittedly you think do something about it romesh you know you need to take some responsibility

every time i get in his car my phone either falls out onto the driveway or down the side of his seat, and then I spend the rest of the journey trying to find it, retrieve it. It's so annoying. You know, I can't bring myself to wear one of those little bags that people have across their chest. I think we're too old for that, bro. Yeah, I do, yeah.

Yeah, we can't pull that off. Yeah. We can't pull that off. Yeah. Anyway, the long and the short of it is what's to do with my nipples what do I need to wear plasters when I go to the

gym yeah I think I mean if they're coming for a hoodie I think you might have to or maybe get like a little

um but I don't want to get to a situation where now I'm what every day that's another thing

this could be quite cool like some sort of like little padded sports bra like that you wear

like not a bra but you know like it's got like some little foam bits in it and you put it on under your T-shirt. That's not a bad idea, actually. It's just like a bikini top. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's got, like, foam bits, so they cover your nipples. But you shape them like really nice pecs. Yeah, it's a great idea. Woolfowlpod at gmail.com if you think visible nipple if anybody else has an issue also if you are um an engineer of clothing and stuff get in touch because actually we should probably think about doing that as a one of the habits well listen if anybody's willing to design a prototype and send it i will happily wear it on one of the episodes of the podcast with nothing else just to sort of demonstrate well no you wear a t-shirt over it. Oh, we'll see, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that could be quite cool. And then you could do an advert, couldn't you? Do one of those adverts. Yeah, yeah. It's like, hi, I used to have such a torrid time whenever I was at the bloody gym, my nipples would be rocking out and everyone would be staring. Not since I got the wolf and owl sports

bra for men. Now, I can frivolously walk around, have the time of my life, lift weights and bust my chest, always knowing that my nipples won't be showing their horrible little faces. From now on, I never have to worry when it's games o'clock, because I've got my Wolf and Owl man bra. Wolf on the right tip, Owl on the left. And on the little fastener in the middle This episode is brought to you by Secret

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This is the thing I don't understand about. So, like, if I did that, then basically, if I did the advert for that, or I sort of made a big thing about it, this is what I always find weird about celebrity endorsements and stuff like this. You are kind of admitting you have a problem. The whole point of getting the bra is to conceal that you've got an issue, right? Yeah. And then you do an advert basically shouting from the rooftop

that this is an issue for you. So doesn't it invalidate the whole point? It's not when people get like, when people do an endorsement for like some sort of cosmetic surgery or whatever. I always think, oh, but you're telling everyone now. Is that not like...

You know what we should do then? I actually think you've got a good point there. No, but do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think also... If you got plugs, if you got plugs, I mean, let's be honest, people would have a suspicion, I think.

Yeah. If you got some... Let's say you got a pectoral implant, right, to make your chest look absolutely buffeting. Yeah. And they offered you money to advertise that. Would you do it, or would you rather keep it secret?

Let me just say, by the way, yeah, plugs. You've never said, I've never seen as much push to get something and get it for free. I mean, I've got three or four companies who always message me going,

well, you do your plugs for free as long as you do your whole journey on social media, which I find it. So would you do that? No, but look, I've had me and Catherine have had a real talk about it now.

I don't think. Are you being serious now? I'm not Catherine have had a real talk about it now. I don't think... Are you being serious now? I'm not going to go down that route. I don't think... Why? How did that... What happened? I was wearing a wig

that we talked about. Catherine sort of... Yeah, and you sent it to Catherine. By the way, I still cannot believe... We need to put this photo on Instagram. Yeah, we...

The photo you sent me, the idea that that would get Catherine fizzy fucking blows my... Listen, you're a good looking guy you're a really handsome man i think there's a lot good about you and i totally understand why catherine would want you as a husband you're a gorgeous lovely man but that photo i mean i laughed for i reckon you know what it was i i forgot i thought we facetimed as. And I think at that point my hair... You FaceTimed with that wig on?

Yeah. I think my hair had been pushed back and they'd styled it a bit more. I just fucking hope you weren't having a serious conversation when that was going on. No, no, no. I think it was probably about the smell in the trailer. It was me panicking.

Right, yeah, yeah. But plug places are constantly that they're all about you putting it up and i mean look plugs are slightly different from the bra we're talking about right there's no way around i can't i wouldn't be able to sell my hair grew back um there's times let me just say by the way i i genuinely fantasize about having hair again like i look at sometimes your hair or other friends hair and i just think hell man just have one more run at having hair like thinking about what hair style you're going to get would be amazing but here's my question here's my question to you right

yeah so obviously i've had a lazy eye all my life i mean and a lot and and i've got two issues one it's a bit lazy and two it's like got a droopy eyelid, right? So it's double fucked. Yeah. And I've had, obviously, I could get it corrected. And now I think to myself, well, there's part of me that thinks I don't want to get it corrected because then I'm sort of admitting it's bad. Do you know what I mean? There's part of me that thinks, actually, I've embraced it now.

I've lived my life with it. Is it an acknowledgement of defeat in the same way that i think also losing weight arguably is an acknowledgement that you have been that you think it's better you know striving to lose weight is uh that's different sure losing weight yeah it's a health is a health thing right yeah if i sure if i could there is there is a vanity there is a vanity yeah yeah yeah so you feel better about yourself but but yeah so there is a vanity to this as well. Yeah, of course there is. You feel better about yourself. Yeah, so there's a psychological weakness. You've been conditioned by society

to believe that being thinner is better, right? I've been conditioned by society to believe that if I get my eye corrected, that somehow makes me better and make me more comfortable. You have been conditioned by society to believe that if you've got hair, your life will be easier. No, no, no. No, but I've got hair, your life will be easier. No,

no, no, no. I've had hair before, right? I had hair. I had, you know,

when I say like, for me, it's not even like a vanity, like the thought of going into a barber's right. And thinking, Oh, I might try something new. Or I might actually,

I fancy really mixing this up and having a little bit of a change up. Like I used to love a trip to the barbers and sort of like fucking like an undercut back in the fucking nineties or something a little bit more, you know, I used to fucking, you know, a little French cop vibe and I'm literally, I can grow my hair longer and have a fucking horseshoe.

That's it now. It's like, I like, there's, so it's not, it's not a point of me going, Oh, like society is because I, I genuinely quite enjoy being bald.

I have no problem being bald. But there is also times where I just sit there and, you know, I'll look at... Say, for example, you bust a look, like your hair's a bit... So, you know, you wear, you know, up a bit more with a little cut of strands coming down. It looks cool like that. Or sometimes it's a bit more Boston it looks a bit more you know you can play with your different looks how you feel with mine it's literally though this is it this is you know got you this is it you know and it and there's a part of me that just thinks oh actually and like even when I had hair I think the ridiculous thing

I had a skinhead for ages when I was younger. Don't have to justify it. Your views are your views. I knew you were going to say I was trying to get in first, but I saw your face. And my mum used to say to me, you'll be really gutted when you lose your hair, because you've got nice hair, but you've got a skinhead for it.

Or I'd wear a cap and she'd say, you know, you should try and enjoy having hair. Set me up for the sort of tragedy of being bald but I look now and think like yeah

I wish I had enjoyed it more enjoyed the days in the sun there's nothing like getting out of a swimming pool when you've got hair and pushing your hair

out of your face getting out of a wave machine or off a water slide yeah you know the thought of getting off a long play journey and going

oh my hair that's awful and just walk it and pulling it back and put a cap on i've none of that how long do you want that back for what do you want to do like you want to do like six months with a full head of hair just to sort of see what it's like i'd probably give like a year of having hair again and i'll probably then be like you know what and then what would you do then can you get the plugs removed well i suppose i'd shave it down i I don't know. It's like a car wrap. I'd see how long it lasts for. I don't know if it lasts forever, does it? I've got no idea.

I don't know. I've not really looked into it, but I think... But we talked this week, and I'm like, maybe not. You know the weird... Hold on. Who was in favour and who was against? We were both... You said a debate about it. Yeah, but we were both debating.

Do you know one of the worst things as well, right? We put up a video not so long ago, and it was when I was in favour and who was against? We were both... You said a debate about it. Yeah, but we were both debating. Do you know one of the worst things as well, right? We put up a video not so long ago, and it was when I was in the garage, and I had my hood up. Who put up a video? You and I? You and I for the Wolf and Out. And I had a hood up, and I...

You and Catherine were... No, and... Coming joint influences. Yeah. And someone said, Tom Davis, if you order The Wish Andrew Tate. And Andrew Tate has taken that look of the beard and the bald head, one that I've been busting for a long time.

And I think Andrew Tate is quite, you know, we could say quite openly amongst the biggest s*** and pricks within the world, right? Yeah, I think if you were doing a list of s***, he would definitely be in and around the conversation for the number one spot he's a vile human being

right so if someone said so that happened and then someone else made a joke about it on Twitter and then that sort of carried

a little bit of sort of sway and at that point I was like I can't shave my beard off because I have no fucking confidence when it's

that's why I kept hold of the moustache for a bit longer because I was like at least the moustache makes me look a little different but with a bald why I kept hold of the moustache for a bit longer because I was like at least the moustache makes me look a little different but with a bald head

I'm like and the beard the agitate is taking the look of the bald man that's all we had we essentially as bald men

were like oh let's turn our heads upside down let's see how that fucking rolls out right he's taken that and he's absolutely

just started he's made it disgusting he's made it that's his look and he's not even bald I'm like why have you your head shaved

you prick yeah he's an imposter isn't he yeah but he's ruined it for all of us so now that's one of the main he's not even bald. I'm like, why have you got your head shaved, you prick? Yeah. He's an imposter, isn't he? Yeah. But he's ruined it for all of us. So now that's one of the main reasons I'm thinking about plugs. Yeah.

I mean, that's quite a nice tagline for a hair plug advertising company. Do you not want to look like a c***? Yeah. Actually, I'd do the advert for that. I'd turn around and say,

look, we used to have it good, beards, bald head, but agitators ruin that for so many. If you, like me, are sick of it, why don't you give da-da-da a call and get your hair back

and banish the Andrew Tate model? I mean, obviously, it would be snappy. I'll probably get someone from The Apprentice to write it. Yeah, yeah, you need someone to write that. Yeah. I was going to say, with the nipple thing, by the way, we'll just get someone else to do the advert instead of you for the bra.

Yeah. Listen, I just want to know if anybody else has this issue, to be honest with you, because it is something that plays at the forefront of my mind every time I go to the gym. I think that get in touch, but also get in touch if you are designers stroke sort of engineers who would like to sort of

talk about a collab where we do a male sports bra and also if you've got any ideas of who could be in the advert we could probably just sort of look at someone quite cool and edgy being in it because actually if it's someone quite cool and sexy you wouldn't think oh fucking hell I didn't know they had that problem yeah

so now before we get into it you've been watching it yeah i have been watching it i i don't um so i watched so it's a theo lisa and i always watch it together yeah lovely that's our like thing yeah and um after the other two boys go to bed that's our little like sort of appointment of you thing. And I don't, this week they had to design dog food. I watched it, yeah. Right.

You watched it? Yeah, I love it. It's me and Catherine. It's one of our folk shows. Yeah. So they've got to design dog food and then they've got to come up with a marketing thing, which is like a lot of the, you know, they've done a lot of episodes like this. You've got to make this thing.

This thing's popular. But they've been doing it for a while, right? I can't just ever get my head around, right? Is how shit these people are at it. Well, this is what I don't, this is what I don't understand,

right? That they must be being hamstrung in a way that we don't see on screen. Right. Because first of all, like let's talk about the dog food episode, right? That I just, the one that's just,

yeah. So they've got to design and make a dog food incredibly difficult right and you know you think about all of these tasks you've got to know about the ins and outs of what's popular in the dog food world i'm assuming that they're just basic i don't know what briefings they get about dog food yeah but we always get one of them like you had it with the motorbike one you had it with uh the um the dog food one you'll always get something, if it's anything ever to do with children and books, and they'll turn around and go,

oh, I've got a kid or I've got a dog, I'm going to be the team leader on this. And you're like, essentially, you've got no idea. One of the children's books this year, and they were talking about long words, go and read the Gruffalo, go and read any of Julia, whatever, McDonald,donald whatever uh julia donald is it julia donald donaldson yeah julia donaldson's books they're incredible but like i watched that show i'm like you can't

be this stupid you can't like there's something i think i think it's got it's got to be the time constraint right because like both like so both the both the... Okay, this is the one that really got me. The week before they did moisturiser, right? And one of them came up with a moisturiser that made your skin green. Yes. Yeah. I mean, that was awful. And then they still went... What the fuck is going on? That was the worst thing I think I've ever seen on The Apprentice, by the way. I mean, that Brad guy was going... It's Brad, isn't it? The guy that was a team leader for that.

He's going, we'll just have to find a way to work around... Work around what? It dyes your skin. You know what, though? What are you talking about? Ron, I even think worse than the skin getting dyed green was that fucking bottle that they had.

Genuinely. Oh, yeah. That was awful. Yeah, that was mad. That was just terrible. I thought that was like week one was just terrible like I thought that that that was like week one shit and let me

like Bradley I just seemed a nice sweet kid right seemed a nice enough lad but when he threw him he was like I've got a vision

for something I can see this it was the same thing with the bike one I mean that bike one was frankly embarrassing when he did that they did an awful advert

oh yeah the uh what was it Zip Zap oh mate even that but my favourite episode is this one coming up now though I love the oh the interviews yeah awful advert. Oh, yeah, the, what was it, Zip Zap? Oh, mate. Even, my favourite episode is this one coming up now, though.

I love the interviews. Oh, the interviews. Do you know who I love in this series, by the way? Shout out to Tim with Lord Sugar. Oh, yeah, he's great.

Oh, my God. What an addition. I absolutely think his reactions to them at times, because he was boss. It was a tougher show when he was on it as well.

And he was an absolute G on it. And his reactions to it, times because he was boss it was a tougher show when he was on it as well and he was an absolute g on it and his his reactions to it i love yeah karen brady i'm not having quite so much oh oh i i can't i can't understand with karen brady how no one's gone in and she says comments on something and they just don't turn around and say didn't you hire everyone grump okay should we do emails let's do it are you still on the emails or sweet lisa no lisa's got back on it i love it i love it uh okay, dear Will for now, this isn't really a question. This is from, sorry, the Black Panther. This isn't really a question I wanted to ask. I just wanted to ask what you sweet, sweet souls thought about this situation I'm soon to be facing. My GF of two years has recently bought a house completely on her own,

has asked me if I want to live with her once everything gets finalized, which got us talking about the financial side of how much I'd contribute to contribute to her if i was to move in what i originally proposed to was that we split all the bills 50 50 and then i wouldn't contribute anything to her mortgage payments now this wasn't me trying to be cheap or anything let me try to live off her for free as she tried telling me i was it's just it was the other way around it's what i would do and i thought ultimately it's her who's going to profit in the in the end once the mortgage is paid off and i'm completely fine with that i'm really proud of her for being able to buy a house for herself she's worked hard to do it and saved immensely uh also the payments would be the same for her if i was living with her or not

living with her i don't want her to think i'm taking the piss and not willing to contribute anything i just thought the money that i'd be giving her would go towards other things for us both and then also be put to the side for the future if we were to upsize and get a bigger house once we have kids i love my girlfriend dearly and I can see myself living with her for the foreseeable future. I'm just asking from an outsider's point of view, am I being unreasonable on this matter? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. If you read this, I love everything

you both do. Keep doing what you're doing. P.S. Thank you very much for being sweet Bobby to my attention. It was an amazing podcast and I wasn't expecting it to be who it was. Was you from the Black Panther Wakanda forever? Well, the Black Panther Wakanda forever. Well, yo, Black Panther,

shout out your bad self and congratulations to UGF for getting a sweet, sweet crib. I would say in this situation, what I think, I think number one is having like, with a discussion like this, is getting out what you both think at the time. Because neither of you is ever going to be right and neither of you is ever going to be wrong.

It's just coming to a situation that you're both sort of happy with. I'd say my, I think when, weirdly, when me and Catherine first moved in together, Catherine had a house and I was moving it.

I paid all of the bills and Catherine paid the mortgage, I think, from what I remember. It was a long time ago now. But I think that's a good way of doing it, because then you're essentially contributing to the bills as a whole, and then she's paying off the mortgage.

And I do get your point completely, that I think you paying half of a mortgage is slightly tricky but also paying rent might just feel weird I don't know I think if you're paying for the bills and also you're paying for like things like food and you're essentially contributing you know half or you know even if it's something for like holidays you know if her mortgage is so much more than what you're paying in those things, you look at sort of almost like the things in life,

the luxuries or going out, I think that's a way of doing it. But then I guess also the flip side of that is if you seem like you're both in love, you seem like you have an amazing relationship, I'd also say if you're looking at the long term of your life together, the more you can pay off that mortgage, the more you can pay towards it, I guess, the quicker you can look at buying somewhere else or whatever.

So maybe it is having a chat. I mean, if you're that well and together and you're looking at the long term, is there a way of sort of having some sort of you know your name on there or whatever i don't know um it's uh yeah it's a hard one i think you i think the main thing is just a discussion between the two of you also it comes down to earnings right yeah if she's earning significantly more you're earning less then that's a discussion as well but i think an open discussion of how

you feel, how she feels, is the best thing going forward. Stay classy, my G. Big love. Y'all see you the hour. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Black Panther. I think the

key thing here is we don't know what your relative earnings are. So I don't know what your, your relative earnings are. So I don't know if your girlfriend is making loads more money than you. But what I would say is this, if look instinctively, I find myself siding with your girlfriend. If I'm being absolutely honest with you, I think that like, if you were going into a place to rent, if you're renting a place together you would go halves on the rent right and you'd go halves on the bills you'd have the bills and you'd have the rent so why is this different it's different because your girlfriend owns the house but like you're still

living there do you know what i mean and so from her point of view i think you should put it in her point of view what you're doing is you're asking to live rent free which i can understand from her point of view i i understand that she's bought a house but she has bought a house and then i think it seems fair that you would pay half the rent for that do you mean like you pay half the mortgage payment and then look you know all this thing you're saying about the money going towards other stuff, it still would do. You know, if you did upsize in the future, like Tom said, if you've paid off more of your mortgage, then you've got more to play with when you go forward. So it wouldn't harm your chances of upsizing. So look, I know this might not be what you want to hear, but I've got to be honest with you, I sort of find myself agreeing with your girlfriend. Unless you're

completely, unless you're going into the situation earning a fraction of what she's earning in which case you have to have another conversation but the current situation is let's assume all things are all other things are equal which is you're earning similar money you're now in a situation where you're going to have loads more disposable income than your other half is does that mean that you're going to be paying for anything else when you go out and holidays and all that? Are you going to pay for all of that? So I just feel like it's the simplest solution is to go halves and everything is my gut on it. So, um, yeah, but as I said, we don't know.

I probably, we probably don't know enough of the details, but that would be if it's like you're earning similar amounts of money, I think you've got to pay half man. You know what I mean? You've got to pay rent. You're asking to live rent free I understand why she'd find that a bit weird so yeah good luck with it Black Panther I hope you get sorted out

I hope I didn't make you angry hey I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice nice what's it taste like it's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola

through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola, with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future.

I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump.

Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course, they'll have to meet my standards, and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st,

streaming on Disney+. OK. That was one of the first times. One of the first times we've not agreed, right? Yeah, for a long time. Wow. Feels like, you know, yeah. I'm looking forward to the online pile on telling me

i'm an absolute prick uh okay yeah uh dear wolf al swan and cat this is from the jumbled up jellyfish i hope you're all doing well firstly thank you for sharing your friendship thoughts and hilarious anecdotes every week i wouldn't say they're hilarious every week my boyfriend introduced me to the podcast at the very start of our backpacking trip in October last year, and I've since been an avid listener through the sleepless nights or on the Vietnam night buses or to the sunbathing on beaches in Thailand.

You guys have been through it all. However, my own issue is, instead of listening to the podcast in chronological order, like a normal person most likely would, I would always have just selected, I have always just selected at random. I've now left myself in a situation

where I have to scroll through the jumbled up played episodes to hopefully hit the jackpot and find one that's unplayed it can often make a simple task so unnecessarily difficult do you ever have similar habits subconsciously that make simple tasks hard for yourself my second question is have you ever traveled around southeast asia if so what do you think of the countries you visited what was your favorite i apologize if you've answered similar questions before i don't think you have but i can't be

absolutely certain jumbled up jellyfish tommy d yo um i i did this with the american office weirdly i just sort of would pick off uh episodes to watch um and just uh just sort of yeah watched episodes so out of sync it was unreal it wasn't until grace was born that i um i made it my one of my big my goals for those night feeds was sitting up and watching it from start to finish which I was

incredibly overwhelmed with how amazing it truly is but yeah I make so many different tasks half of myself

even down to making sandwiches I get things out out of water I get things out of the fridge that I don't need what I have a real problem with I would start a task thinking oh this is the task

like making a sandwich and then end up clearing out the fridge or doing a dishwasher I'll just get completely sidetracked it's fucking nuts I have no sort of um yeah my attention just gets even now I'm just looking at a flower um uh but yeah um what's the name uh answer your second question is no i've never been i am so under traveled compared to romesh i've never been to southeast asia i've never been to vietnam thailand uh i've done most of the laddish holiday resorts and I've done Vegas and that's pretty much it I'm not a I'm not very well

travelled at all I'm sad to say I don't know much about the world it is it slightly annoys me and I think I should have actually

paid more attention to go into places that actually would have set me up as a more sort of engaged human being

than I actually am. Yeah, I fucking dropped a bomb there, really. I should have done it in my 20s. Now I'm too old. It's weird. I imagine if you and I did, like, Manish has sorted it out, so you and I did a trip around Southeast Asia. Yeah, but we'd have to take the kids and our wives,

because otherwise we're 240-somethings going around Southeast Asia. Yeah, tragic. That's what I mean. I think we'd have to embrace the tragedy of it. There's a part of me that just smiled so massively when you said that, because I think if we were going there, it would be an amazing thing to go there

not knowing how tragic and pathetic it is, and then just halfway through thinking, I actually know this is pretty fucking sinister. But yeah, I love that sort of culture. I'd love to have a look at that but yeah age is not on my side and also I don't think Catherine would like that if I was to go

I'm going to go to South East Asia for a month see you later I know there should be that against it Jumbled Up Jellyfish your email reminds me of first of all I do do things very difficult uh like uh like tom whenever i'm cooking i do things in the least efficient way whenever i'm going to a supermarket

i take the longest route possible to get the various things because i can't organize myself but uh what your thing really reminded me of is t-shirt storage i cannot seem to nail that at all wow this is i've got lots of well i've got lots of t-shirts yeah as as loads of people you know you sort of that's the that's the thing that you kind of buy on a whim isn't it like you'd be on holiday and you go there's you know i don't explain why you buy how you buy t-shirts but they've all got little motifs and designs on the front and sometimes on the back sometimes on the back yeah and so you it's a thing of like folding them in a way that's neat when they're away but also you're able to very quickly identify which t-shirt is when you're going to put it on you i find a role so basically at the moment it's really causing me a lot of stress i've got to be honest with you i say stress in in the lowest

forms of stress i mean you know one of my life things that's kind of niggling me is that um i roll them so i've got loads of like t-shirt cylinders do you know i mean like little cylinder t and they're in like little stacks or whatever but basically what happens is i get my mindset on wearing like a biggie t-shirt or something like that and i destroy the entire thing yeah mate this is a regular thing for me it's so fucking annoying i mean like sometimes often i'm getting ready more often than not two and a half minutes before i have to leave the house as in like i'm already fucking late so i basically totally disassemble this thing that i've spent ages putting together i look around i've got t-shirts all over the fucking shop i don't have time to deal with it now and then i just leave and then i come back at the end of the day and i think oh fucking hell i've got to sort this out now do you

know i mean i spend so much the amount of time i i genuinely think i've missed script deadlines because of the amount of hours i've lost to disassembling and reassembling that t-shirt stack it's just right i've tried the the have you ever seen the teach little t-shirt things that you get like that you can get on Amazon and they're like these nothing you tell me about this yeah I tried them thinking of this your revolution lies my life and completely change up my fucking to it it lasted for about a week and a half before I threw them all out and now I'm trying rolling but so I can sit as I roll it and then as i look in the drawer i should be able to see

what t-shirt is i'm putting on but i'm the same as you i'll literally go i want this t-shirt i'll go in there like uh add some of those true classics but also those true classic t-shirts all seem to have disappeared that we got sent what do you mean disappeared i just don't know where they are they seem to just like yeah just like... That's what happens to me. By the way, it happens to me with loads of stuff. So I decide that I want to wear a jacket. And that jacket, like, I get into my head, I want to wear this jacket, right?

And then I'm looking, whichever jacket I happen to be looking for, it just goes, oh, this should be funny. I'm going to fuck off for a bit. He'll never find me. It just, I don't understand what's going on. Mate, it's insane. It's genuinely insane genuinely insane like it drives me absolutely anyways uh so in answer the second part of your email yes i have done saffy stage i went well i only went to vietnam for road trip because i didn't do all

the road trip i did like half an episode and I loved it. It definitely would be somewhere I'd go to, but like Tom said, I'm now in that kind of situation where I don't think it's going to happen unless it happens when I'm much older and me and the Swan decided to do like a little, once the kids have moved out, we decided to do a little tour of Southeast Asia. The problem is I'll be of the age that I have to make sure the Swan's with me all the time, otherwise I look like a sex tourist. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like a brown man in his 60s wandering around Thailand on his own.

You'd have really nice white hair and a nice white beard as well. Mm. Yeah. And also walking around with your nipples hanging out. Yeah. My dad, towards the end of his days, went fully grey, and he just looked like they were doing a Santa movie and gone diverse.

He looked so much like a Father Christmas. Yeah, he had a beard for a bit. And then I think that Father Christmas thing got to him, so he got rid of it. What, moustache? Or just completely got rid of everything? No, just fully quenched. Cool. So in answer to your question gentleman at

jellyfish I'd love to do southeast asia but unfortunately don't think it's going to happen so what can you do

it's not a hardship is it you know the idea that everybody gets to do everything they'd ever want to do

wow that's a really deep response to well you know like just you know there's certain things you're never

going to do yeah yeah yeah uh okay I felt like this was the end of a really sort of like an Oscar winning film. Sort of like, you know, Matthew McConaughey

just looking at his son and going, you know the thing is son, the idea that we get to do all the things that we wanted to do, that just ain't realistic. Some things in life, they're just unattainable boy. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy the stuff that you're doing and make the most of the little things.

The accent took a bit of a journey there, didn't it? Yeah, but it's also got a visalign in it. It sort of started off Matthew McConaughey and moved into what I would say is a KFC advert. Yeah, but it's because all this invisalign is really hard to... Yeah, how's the invisalign treating you? I'm enjoying it. Yeah, I've got a couple of questions.

Did you gig with it on? Yes. Did you? Yeah, but it's tricky. You have to get used to it. Yeah, because it's really affected my voice and my mouth pattern. Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I've not noticed any difference. Cleaning it's a real fucking drag, isn't it? It is, yeah, but do it regularly. I mean, i don't know what how how long do you have to keep those in for well they're told like 22 hours of the day yeah i know that but i mean how many days are you doing it for a week yeah okay so so where do you think i should clean them well i don't think you should clean i think you should clean them in the two hours that you're not wearing them no but you obviously you take

them out to eat with right and drink yeah and them. No, but you took, obviously you take them out to eat with, right? And drink. Yeah. And then you give the, like, yeah. What were you doing? Were you brushing your teeth every time after you took,

put them back on after you ate? If I could, but sometimes that's not possible. Cause the other day, like I had like a, like an Aero yogurt. Yeah. And yeah,

exactly. Put them back in and then took them out again. It looked like half the Aero yogurt was still in my teeth. Jesus fucking Christ. Why would you say that out loud? Because we're on an honest podcast. That's what we're here for. Yeah, I know.

But, you know, what I don't want to do is remove the Invisalign when I get home to have dinner and I see a squashed pinto bean fucking smashed up against the outside of the... No, but now I get a toothbrush and i clean them out and then i clean my teeth and then i put them back in yeah so these the other issue is if you eat a curry well yeah i had the one and then don't brush your teeth and put the yeah you're

invisalign a fuck man really why not fucked but like they'll be stained and then you're wearing you're wearing stained invisalign for that oh man yeah a bit curry last night okay this is from uh papa polar bear yo polar bear a dear big wolf and wise owl and associated menagerie i recently discovered your podcast amongst the infinite mire of nonsense out there and i'm so glad i did aside from nearly ruining a few shirts with explosive mid-coffee guffaws absolutely no complaints so far love the format masquerading as a lack of preparation uh hoping this will make it past your garbage filters but I recently had need of a roofer he shimmied up my house onto my roof at the speed of a evasive squirrel and came back down with an iphone based record of everything wrong with my roof as he gleefully showed me photos of the holes and cracks he over swiped back past the first picture he'd taken to accidentally show me a top-down picture

of what i presume to be mrs squirrel engaged enthusiastically in fellating mr squirrel with eye contact being maintained with the camera lenses i sniggered and he looked at me uh clearly not connecting his brain with what he'd seen and what his fingers were doing on the screen, swiped a few more times. Turns out Mrs. Skrull likes Mrs. Skrull nuts deep in her back. The ordering of these photos being in reverse chronological order is on reflection concerning at best, especially outside of the world of hardcore pornography. I wondered if either Wolf or Al had accidentally shown a photo on their phone that they shouldn't have. concerning abyss, especially outside of the world of hardcore pornography. Either Wolf

or Al had accidentally shown a photo on their phone that they shouldn't have. Keep doing what you're doing and spreading joy to the masses. Man, you know what? The worst, I think, version of that is, you know, WhatsApp, if you don't save it, someone sends you something. Oh yeah, then the photo goes to your team. And the photo goes into your fucking... I've been sent stuff where you're just scrolling through and you know

once you've got kids, like Grace loves watching videos, let's be like, my dad, she loves watching videos of herself back. I've had to turn off

the thing now with WhatsApp because I've got dickhead mates who'll send all kinds of stuff. You know, grim stuff that I don't

really want to be a part of and sometimes I've even left the group or like, sort of, you know, muted that i don't really want to be a part of and sometimes i've even left the group uh or like sort of you know um yeah but for some reason the fucking picture still still comes in into your uh thing so anyhow um now i've stopped that thing i do you know it was a real eye-opener of actual friends that i have friends i don't really want really want anymore. Yeah, I find it slightly depressing when people put stuff on the WhatsApp group and think, oh, this is what they think I'd find funny. Yeah, but also, is this what you're laughing at? I know.

I mean, sometimes... It's embarrassing, isn't it? Do you know that clip that I sent you the other day about the banana and Nutella? I thought that was funny. Yeah, it needs a bit more context, that, really, doesn't it, for the purpose of the podcast? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, bearing in mind

that we've just been pretty, pretty fucking snobby about the sort of stuff we're saying and then you go, oh, that video we'd have been on and the Nutella was funny though, wasn't it? No, it's like a radio call-in, right?

Nick Ferrari, it was Nick Ferrari getting a call-in from somebody who said that their kid had been to school. He's mental. I just don't know what the face of being. I just see the way that the guy at the end, right, so when he's talking, he's basically

he's finding they've had a sex education class and they're showing, they detailed showing sex and one of the things they used was Nutella and a banana, right? To show a sex act. And he was saying this seriously yeah he was very serious and nick farage was as bewildered as most people i was listening like it was quite but as it as the sort of things

going on and the guys getting into more detail and everything nick farage was like um you know he said his son was a little bit upset about the whole thing and found it all a bit strange and nick fryser was like what's been the outcome he says he doesn't like the teller on his toast anymore i genuinely think it was one of the funniest things i've heard for ages it was so but so that's you know you get some but then you get sent so i'm in like a west ham group and some of the stuff you i got sent a video the other day west ham fans doing cocaine off each other's heads it's insane yeah i i got um i won't name the person but i was doing a pilot for a panel show and there was a it was a boxer and he i just met him for the first time and he said you're a comedian aren't you i said yeah he had no idea who i was obviously like, he'd just been told about me two minutes before walking into the thing.

And he pulled out a video of a, and he goes, you'll find this funny. And he showed me a video of a guy in the fetal position in the bottom of a shower. And a guy stood over him shitting on him. Like, there's some people in the background laughing. He showed me the video. I sort of, like, did a polite kind of laugh because I just thought, well, I don't want this guy to kick the fuck out of me. And then he goes, I've got loads more where that came from.

And I just sort of left that going. Is this what you find funny, man? It's just like, what the fuck? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I really want to know who the boxer is. I'll tell you who it is after the podcast. Yeah.

I'll tell you now and JT can bleep it out.'s uh of course it was of course it was how stupid i wouldn't even guess that of course it was i just so like you know what genuinely i feel absolutely horrible about myself that there's people i've met that i like thinking it couldn't have been there it couldn't have been there then as soon as you say his name you know that that's no of course it was if you know he'd have like three phones with that kind of filth and on it okay tom it's about that time for us to wrap things up, my guy. Yeah. So would you do us the honours of taking us out? Yeah. Little Harry Whipsnade went to the fair one day with his mother and father.

And whilst going around and playing on different things and going on different rides and having the time of his life, his mother brought him a balloon. It was the shiniest biggest most colorful beautiful balloon that you'd ever seen in your life and young harry was walking around with it just like showing everyone and everyone was like oh my god look at that balloon it's truly gorgeous and harry felt like the prince of the fair on the way home as they walked past pubs and people were fighting and shouting people became enchanted by this balloon and men who are fighting in the street and women who are throwing high heel kicks at each other just stopped

and stared at the balloon it was almost like the balloon had a power just to resolve any issues and make people feel better about themselves as he walked past the fish and chip shop uh the owner just ran out with a battered sausage and said here harry here and harry said why are you giving me that he said your balloons made me happy so happy well done mate credit to you as harry got home he stared at the balloon thinking wow that's incredible and what an amazing balloon how lucky i am to have you and as he went through his front door Harry slipped and the string from the balloon fell from his hand and the balloon started rising up

and rising up and rising up and Harry turned to his dad and said quick dad, grab the balloon, grab the balloon and Harry's dad who wasn't in amazing shape tried a couple of times to grab the string but it slipped through his fingers too and just soared into the air just slowly, just letting the wind gather it and take it away from them. And Harry started crying, sobbing, saying, oh man, I'm going to miss that balloon. I was looking

forward to waking up for at least a week or so, looking at it and making me happy. And his dad looked at him and said, but Harry, the balloon always will make you happy because it's been in your hand and you've seen the wealth of infinite joy that it brings. But now it's time for the balloon to float to another town, to another little boy in another fair and see if it can bring them the joy that it's brought you. And that's the thing about life. Sometimes it's too easy just to grab hold of moments and things and just think, I hope this lasts forever. I hope I can hold on to this balloon for infinite time. The truth of the matter is, sometimes those good times need to roll on. And you've got to let someone else smile just for a little bit before the sun shines on you again.

Wow. That's really good. I felt like you were nervous in the middle there but yeah yeah yeah halfway through i started thinking wasn't this a mcdonald's advert for christmas um a couple of things before we go one we are going to keep doing nicknames, so please do send them in. I know we haven't done them today, but we are going to do them probably, hopefully on a bonus. And the other thing is, oh, yeah,

the dog poo email. Jim, we've got that email about the dog poo solution. There's no DNA in poo, it turns out. Oh, really? So that whole idea is a non-starter. Guys, take care of yourselves and also just to jump onto

the bonus thing I know we promised a bonus but they really are bonus episodes it is when we've got time and we can yeah so that

we actually in our heads thought oh we could do one of these every week but but we can't they're insane to even think of that yeah so

shout out to Bad Sales thanks for listening my guys thank you for listening we're going out with a little bit of Just Friends by Music Soulchild

take care of yourselves and each other peace out peace I'm not trying to pressure you just can't stop thinking about you you ain't even really gotta be my girlfriend

I just wanna know your name. And maybe sometime we can hook up. Thank God I'm just you. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

Thank you.