Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 4: Sleeping Styles & Seaweed Scandals

Episode Date: July 13, 2022

We’re talking… hot sleeps, night-time toilet trips, beach bodies, prams on the sand and screaming into the sea, security tags, spring-loaded napkins and a scandalous revelation about crispy seaweed. Then we take a look at some emails about ‘hotness as a state of mind’, birthday trip ideas, favourite films and a tricky relationship quandary. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Yeah. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or or fur sharp teeth or feet with claws whatever's preferred they'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves then podcast the body parts get severed and served bring your weak shit where the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing

They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff a puff And a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song Is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog yes once again inside your grill it's a wolf an owl time not no it's not time to chill

it's time to time to just live your life and go crazy let your ears just do the let your ears do the walking and your feet just chill yeah absolutely or but you know you might be walking and listen to this in in which case, like... Take a seat, because you're about to get blown away. Yeah, but you don't have to sit down, like, if you're doing this. Are you vaping? No. Mate, are you vaping at 7.41?

Yeah, I'm going to put that away. What flavour is it? I'm in a bad... It's coconut melon. I'm in a bad way today. I'm not going to lie to you. Oh, hit me up. What, Hangover? No, not Hangover, no. Party Rom has very much been in his shell. it i'm in about it's coconut melon i'm in a bad way today i'm not gonna lie to you hang over no no no party rom has very much been in his shell um uh i uh i just could mate last night got but i did league of their own last night yeah got back just so hot i couldn't sleep oh man i could

not sleep the worst i'd say one of the hardest things of having a tiny baby, she's seven months now, but is the heat. They just can't compute the heat, can they? They just don't know what, like she just feels so flustered. I fucking hate the heat for sleeping. Yeah. Do you know, what is your sleeping position? Because I like to put the duvet between my legs and have one leg in, one leg out.

Oh, my God, that is literally what I do. Really? On your side. On your side, yeah? Yeah. Facing out or into the bed? I face... I'm nervous now that I'm going to say the wrong thing,

but whatever you do. I do whatever you do. I face out because... Yeah, me too, me too, me too, me too. I face out. I think for katherine the best thing in the morning is to look at the back of my head rather than steam seeing me sort of like snoring and breathing like do you know do you know one of the things that i discovered and

i don't know if everyone discovers in this discovers this in their relationships is that when lisa and i first got together we'd like hug in bed or be like an arm round and then and you'd say things to each other like oh i could be like this forever or isn't it a shame that we've got to get up and start the day this is so nice and then eventually a little bit into the relationship lisa said i actually get quite hot in the night and i don't really i don't really enjoy sort of being touched too much and now i i think if i if i if my skin touches touches Lisa's skin in bed now, I have to apologise.

That's where we're at now. Your bed is like being on a tube with a lot of people you don't know. 100%. If my knee touches hers, I have to apologise for manspreading. It's crazy. It's crazy. And then I think to myself, so all of that about wanting to have your arms around each other,

that was all bullshit, right? That was, that was just like a thing that you fake while you're still trying to. You got groomed, bro. I basically did. I did get groomed, man. We, we have a thing at the moment where,

cause we're, we're having a little week away. At home, we've got, you know, the, the, a bed,

like the van bed, I think it's called. So you've got the two matches that are pushed together. Yeah. And it's like, makes a bigger bed. But also if I moved you in the um a bed like the van bed i think it's called so you've got the two matches that are pushed together yeah and it's like makes a bigger bed but also if i move during the bed uh move during the night it means that she doesn't like she doesn't like feel me sort of like the ripples of my movement throughout the night is it waterbed no no no but even on the hardest of matches when you're six foot seven and weigh 21 stone, you move. I mean, to be fair,

people in the house, other people in the house know I've moved. You sometimes move and then she sort of rolls into you. And I'm just there with open arms. Oh, God. Come to daddy. Actually, last night she said, I can tell that you're lighter in the way that you're moving around i had to basically you know when you

wake up all you want to do is fall back into bed after taking a piss at night yeah yeah you know with all of your like the most dramatic like you're sort of like i don't know like someone who's just been dumped on in neighbors and you just run to your bed after talking to mrs mangle and just throw yourself into the sad song and then sob into your pillow yeah yeah but now i tried it really lightly i literally put my knee and then just slowly sort of like get into bed just not to wake her i've got to tell you man i'm having an absolute purple patch for um what a boring thing to say but i'm having an absolute purple patch for not needing to piss in the night what i don't know what's happened i don't know if like my fucking

bladder's got younger or something I don't know what's going on man but like I haven't mate for a long time I've been getting up

I would say minimum once yeah possibly twice to take a piss in the night just not happening to me anymore I don't know what I'd love to know what I've done

are you drinking less water before bedtime? no I'm drinking I'm drinking a lot of water. A lot. A lot. How much is it? Four litres a day?

Oh, no. Okay, no, no. You've absolutely fucked it there. No, I'm not drinking four litres a day. Between two and three litres. Yeah, that's good, two and three. Because you know what? You don't want to drown your intestines.

Well, does that make sense? Do your intestines have lungs? You've got to be really careful not to drown whatever parts of your body in the water. You just don't want to drink too much water, basically. Okay, yeah. I mean, it could be expressed like that, couldn't it? It doesn't sound as dramatic, does it?

No, but it does sound correct. Be careful not to drink too much water because excess water can make you... Yeah, you know. Whereas if you go drown your intestines, you sound like an absolute fucking legend now i get you i did i did think what who's this fucking edgelord do you like going to the beach you're a beach guy i used to not be because i i just lisa's basically made me a beach guy and that sounds like she's changing me gradually day by day until I become the husband

that she needs me to be I didn't really used to give a shit about laying out in the sun and stuff like that because I didn't want to work on my tan particularly and I found it sort of boring but yeah I love it now I love it there's two different things here laying out in the sun by a pool or in your garden

I'm all about, I love that shit a beach number one I've always found a beach a pain in the sun by a pool or in your garden, I'm all about. I love that shit. A beach, right? Number one, I've always found the beach a pain in the ass because you've got to fucking lug a load of shit across fucking terrain that isn't fit for walking on, right? You've basically got to camp there, right? Yeah. Also, now you've got grace.

You've got a situation where you've got to push a pushchair across the beach. Push a push chair across sand like there's nothing worse than like being a giant man trying to push a tire and like grace is looking at me as if to say come on mate this is embarrassing now you're out of breath you're sweating yeah and you're trying to push me across very soft sand yeah so then you end up holding the baby under one arm and the fucking pram under another and walking like you're sort of like, yeah, it's,

it's not a good look, bro. It's a bad look because actually the truth is people that aren't you and me, they spend their year. Well, not their year. That might be an exaggeration, but they spend a lot of time getting themselves beach ready,

right? Summer body ready or whatever, right? Which, which I'm assuming you've never done. I've never done it. And so what happens is it's a very embarrassing situation, the beach scenario,

because what you have is a lot of people, particularly when you're on holiday, you have a lot of people that have spent time making sure they look good in that scenario, right? You haven't done that, and then you've got to push a push chair. It's so embarrassing. I just feel embarrassed to be me.

Do you know what I mean? You talk about beach ready right and being embarrassed yeah right so I get everything down then you unpack

you have to unpack the pram and unpack everything which is essentially now setting up a little basically a base camp right yeah and then sand

I think sand's a mug I've got no time for sand like I literally I think sand's mugging you off rather than being the mug yeah it makes a mug of anything you know what

I like hard sand soft sand I've got no time for it just gets everywhere I think sand's mugging you off rather than being the mug. Yeah. It makes a mug of anything. You know what? I like hard sand. Soft sand, I've got no time for. It just gets everywhere. I'm looking at the fact I have a daughter now, and I'm like, that's going to be literally caked in everything. She's grabbing sand. It's all under her fingernails.

I'm like, that's an hour guard of my evening now, trying to get sand. Trying to rinse yourself off without getting sand on yourself between that and getting back to your car or wherever. I'll tell you something. It's like the fucking fox, the chicken and the great. I can't figure out how the hell to do it. Well, you know what? Foreign beaches, for the moment,

a lot of them in tourist hotspots, they'll have a load of showers. English ones, we don't. English, you go to a Portuguese beach, they've always got a little walkway down to them. So that takes half the battle. It's like we haven't even thought that anyone's ever going to go to a Portuguese beach, they've always got a little walkway down to them. So, like, that takes half the battle. So you need to... Like, it's like we haven't even thought

that anyone's ever going to go to these. But it's like the Normandy landings, the Romans invading, and you're like, oh, no one's going to use these now. I know. Although I would say, like, as you know, I go to Portugal a lot. Well, once a year.

And they've got the little foot things, the taps and whatever to show you. I do find myself quite regularly getting into a little bit of a battle of wills with other people because they're always being used, don't they? Particularly at the end of the day, everybody's actually hammering it. Oh, yeah. There is no discernible cue system. So what happens is I have a nice day at the beach with the kids

and then I'm trying to get them rinsed off. My children couldn't give a shiny shit about where they get sand or whatever like i mean couldn't care less oh you're frivolous with sand at that age yeah oh my god it's good to play with it you're actually inserting it into your crack at that age i mean so so i'm trying to rinse them off but then you just get people that sort of aggressive showers or aggressive you know they believe that it's their right to be next damn the queue system and i'm just not i'm just not holidays yeah i just don't think people i think that's i think people take up that holiday from qm and i don't think people care about i think etiquette goes i think it's like weird is

everyone's just like we need that i think it's i think once you get on a holiday it's like what we need to be on the beach as soon as we possibly can and then we need to be off the beach as soon as we possibly can. We're like, there's got, you know, literally we need to be getting the car,

the barbecue needs to be on. Any sort of like, oh, actually that guy seems like he's been waiting for four, four hours to get to the fucking water to clean his feet. That just goes.

People just, I don't think, I don't think there's many times that you see the worst side of humanity than at a busy water park on holiday. I mean,

like, like getting in, getting to the lockers, getting to the slides. I mean, just everybody is just so desperate. Do I sound like an old man? What is going on with me? We're both getting old. It's a sad thing.

Oh, God. But also, going to a busy water park, you might as well just pay to go and stand in a really badly worked out queue. That is one of the things that I love about post offices queuing systems did not absolutely did not expect you to say that yeah but i'd say argos and post offices queuing systems are phenomenal and i'd respect anywhere that's got a good queuing system i gotta say listen while we're getting on to this uh the amount of wasted floor space in an august i already do find quite criminal do you mean it's like i mean what is going on with us tom what was what's happening to us today i i just everything we sort of need and i say i say i say us i think it's very

much me that's the situation have you been pushchairs are a nightmare. What about... A lot of the beaches have got water stuff. Yeah, but I'll tell you what's a nightmare. Nobody respects security. I'll tell you what the worst thing is. I'll tell you what the least fun place in the world is. Water parks. Water parks are terrible.

That's where you see the worst... What the fuck? Argos. Oh, the wasted... Jesus Christ, Romesh. Fucking hell. Yeah, but I agree with the Argos thing. You know, Argos got so close to being the internet

and just fucked it up, didn't it? Yeah. I used to work at Argos. Did you? I don't know. Maybe like two years. It was while I was at school. But I used to work on the complaints bit.

So I basically spent all day every day dinner with people that are pissed off about something they bought from argus you know that separate little queue on the the customer services desk it's like i remember like you get people turn up without any proof of purchase or anything and they just what they want to do is and a lot of people do this i've done this in the past where you just think if you are aggressive enough and assertive enough they just have to do i do think that sometimes that yeah it does work it does work i mean it didn't work at argos because you had to have a yeah i got some pretty stringent but mate i had a whole thing recently where i

brought that pair of a nice pair of shorts the other week and i had a fucking security tag in it i can't remember if i talked about that on here but i basically put no i've yeah i bought a pair of shorts me and katherine were going out for a lunch date meeting some friends i'm like really excited to wear these shorts i love my clothes i put them on i feel i feel good i feel good i look at yeah and katherine oh you know there's a massive security tag on that i look at the back and i'm like this is absolutely this is is a disaster. I can't go. Are we talking about the beige flying saucer? Yeah, yeah. But it's right around where my butt is, right? I'd say, you know, if I'm sitting down,

it's going to be a hindrance to my butthole, right? And that comes from a man who at times inserts a pebble up his butt just to make it cool, right? There is a situation now where I'm like, can I wear a longer top like a you know a long line t-shirt i can wear with this and to cover the tag yeah but then i'm like it's just gonna be uncomfortable so now i'm sort of i email the i email the shopping question and i'm like look you know this has happened what am i supposed to do i never i've to this day i've never had a

response this was months ago um shout out to everyone who got in touch. I tried the fork trick. Didn't work. I brought some really, really strong magnets. Didn't work. And I'm like, now I'm like, what do I do? Just throw these shorts out? So I decided to go to my local town.

Your local town? Yeah. You prick. Yeah, go on anyway. So where's your local town to get to get rid of it right i went to like nine shops before someone and they all treated me like i was i'd had like 10 cans of special brew at like 10 a.m in the morning and fucking like just was lurking about and just literally had stolen these yeah one woman said to me, if you can get some documentation that proved, like a bank statement,

that you proved that you've brought these shorts, I'll take the tag off. I was like, that's so much more work than I do on a day-to-day basis of having to go through all of my bank statements to then prove that. Imagine going through your bank statements and the reward for that hour's time spent is being able to wear a pair of shorts that you paid for. I still have to send bank statements to my accountant to do my taxes,

and he has to remind me probably nearly every day to do so. It's like, in the end, I know I will shout out, actually, New Look. Shout out to New Look. Went in there, the woman was an absolute blinder. No questions asked. Gave me a wink and a nod. Took him off. It was a bit like... So she gave me a wink and a nod, took him off. It was a bit like this.

So she gave you a wink and a nod, so that suggests that she does think you stole them and she didn't care, is that what you're saying? Yeah, in a sense, but I don't want to get her in trouble. I had grace with me at that point as well, because I did actually think, you know what, having grace, I think, might have been the turning point. Because even if she thought I was shoplifting,

she probably felt sorry for me. Yeah, she thought you were doing it for your kids, she wants to sell some shorts. I don't know what the sell on point of these shorts would have been what kind of money I'd be looking at

for that but do you find that having grace has made you kind of

more attractive as a as a person like do people come up to you and chat to you and stuff yeah

I'd say yeah people people often remark on what little like that attractive as a as a person like do people come up to you and and chat to you and stuff yeah i'd say yeah people people often remark on what little like that someone said to me yesterday she looks like a little baby doll she is a little cracker yeah um and she's always smiling she's always really happy we went out for lunch yesterday she was happy through the whole thing she's a little cracker like that oh you know go back to the beach thing as well do you know actually the worst thing of the beach thing right i went for a swimming in the sea with my dad wrong right my dad took his t-shirt off and my dad's got a six-pack what my dad's in such good nick like genuinely i felt like oh i've got to take my t-shirt off next to my dad now and he's got a six-pack yeah like genuinely he looked he

ran into the sea like david hasselhoff and just took a leap in there did you know that he had a six pack no no i knew that he was in good nick but i didn't realize he was busting that kind of vibe he still does weights now and he does like little tight shit like genuinely i was like man do i just keep my t-shirt on that's the worst look isn't it you can't go to see your t-shirt on because then you basically if you go the way i see you go to see with your t-shirt on and you've got to walk back to your house half naked well it's not just that that's the problem is that the other thing that i find is um you're okay going into the sea with a t-shirt on while you're you haven't got into the water yet right yeah but then what happens is you come out of the water and you've got a really clingy t-shirt on do you mean it's like it's just stuck to your body you basically look like a fucking seal do you mean i'd say that's

the best that is like i can wait to get into the sea like take the top off and then just dive under the water so then i look quite brave it looks like i don't give a shit about the fucking the hell cold the water is but then this is this is a mad thing i don't know if you've ever had this because well you mean you've talked about this, because, well, me and you have talked about this before. Do you ever worry, like, when you dive in the cold water, about having a heart attack? All the time. All the time.

I was petrified yesterday that, like, Grace's first memory of the beach would have been me leaping into the water, really, like, to sort of, like, hide my muffin top from the fucking world,

and then have a massive cardiac arrest. And people dragging me out to sea, me spluttering and someone saving my life at the shoreline. That really crossed my mind yesterday. Well, the thing that I've got a problem about, which I'm sort of loathe to say, because I am opening myself up to an absolute shooing here,

is not only the sort of worry about having a heart attack, I cannot not scream when I go into ice-cold water. What? I think, out of the two I think there's more dignity

in having a heart attack than screaming I've got to say I do think it would be better to have a heart attack and die than do what I do

which is basically Theo I'll give a shout out to Theo here he has changed my life well he has changed my life but in this specific thing

he has changed it with regards to my attitude towards going into really cold water because i used to think it was horrific and now i think it's a game changer i think it's wicked right like going into really ice cold but i cannot for whatever reason and and if i do manage to not do this it takes every sort of fiber of my being to not go, as I go into... Well, you do two, or is it... I did that to be decent for the podcast.

I do more than that. Every time a wave hits a new bit of untouched skin, you'll get another sort of squeal from me. Oh, my God. I just so want to see you. Can you imagine? Do you do that little prance like a skip thing as it hits you as well yeah yeah look all of the worst things that you imagine that i do

i do do those things can you imagine being a 12 year old boy and just thinking i just want to go in the water with my dad have a bit of quality time with him this is our annual holiday and then watching your father squeal as he hits the sea in a way that you're not even doing as a child. You know the worst thing of it as well is because you'd be trying to make it up to Theo like it's not too bad. So you'd be smiling as you do it

so you look a bit like a sort of like a Tory MP in a fetish club. Although it's a little bit painful and it's a little bit painful and it's a little bit of a kick in the dick, you're actually quite enjoying it still. It's fine, P.O.

It's painful, but in a good way. Oh, God. Massive nipple erection. Yeah, and then I do that embarrassing thing of going, it's actually really nice. It's nice. And then he's like, Dad, you can't start enjoying it now

because you were so humiliating as you went into the water. Awful. All I can feel is, I keep getting a vision of you, right? Sort of like, on your hands and knees. Sort of going, it's fine once you're actually under. Licking your lips like you've eaten a bit of vegan burrito. Come on, Theo, it's fine once you're actually under licking your lips like you've eaten a bit vegan burrito come on theo it's fine there's a lot of things there's a lot of issues i've got

going into the sea so one is the squealing uh and the sort of screaming uh the other thing is i'm incredibly squeamish about anything that i don't know what it is touching my feet and legs. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, for example, I don't even really like the sort of mushy kind of porridge-y seaweed that you find. Oh, seaweed can do one. Sort of walking through it, I find it... I like seaweed in a restaurant, but I don't like it on a beach. Yeah, but that's not seaweed, is it?

Isn't it? Are you talking about the crispy seaweed? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you might have heard this conversation. It's not seaweed. What is it? It's just shredded cabbage. What? Yeah. I think you might have heard this conversation. It's not seaweed. What is it? It's just shredded cabbage. What?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. Don't they? Why are they calling it seaweed then? What masquerade? I guess at some point in the origins of that dish, it was seaweed. And I guess in some places you get it. Literally, that's like,

you can't call it seaweed if it's not seaweed. I genuinely want to go to it. You're making me doubt myself. Let me just Google this while you... I think it's deep fried cabbage. Hold on. You're talking about the Chinese restaurant, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They just add loads of sugar to it. Yeah. Hold on. Yeah, here we go. The dish often served in Western Chinese restaurants is crispy seaweed. It's not seaweed, but cabbage that has been dried and then fried. Do you know what? I don't think I've been this angry in a long time.

I'm absolutely... I feel my shoulders tighten. That's... What a masquerade. That's... Like, genuinely, like, the amount of time... Oh, this seaweed's delicious. Just say it's cabbage.

Do you know what? That is... I don't know who's got together and done this, but that feels like you've mugged so many people off and it actually makes seaweed even more fucking pointless

than it's ever been the only thing that I used to sort of look at seaweed when it touched my leg or it'd get fucking stuck on something that I liked like a swimming trunk

sort of fucking is I'd look at it and go oh fucking seaweed but then look at it and go actually you know what it tastes delicious with some sugar in it yeah I'd love you I'm annoyed of you now but i'd love a bit of you deep fried and a bit of

sugar added um but the thing i would say in response to that is crispy seaweed that you get in the chinese restaurants there's never any point that i think i wish this tasted more aquatic i mean all you're all you're after is crunch and sweet yeah but i feel like that yeah but yeah but just say it's dried cabbage with a touch of sugar yeah but okay that sounds shit but it's honest i actually thought as well there was a whole thing now that we'd all got together and said oh you can't lie on menus anymore yeah but the dish is called crispy seaweed i think that's how you get away with it yeah but it's not seaweed that's like me you turning up and saying oh do you want a muffin and you're going oh yeah i'd love a chocolate muffin thanks tom and me bringing you a fucking chicken breast and you're going well this isn't a muffin? And you going, oh, yeah, yeah, I'd love a chocolate muffin, thanks, Tom. And me bringing you a fucking chicken breast.

And you going, well, this isn't a muffin. I'd say, well, that's what we're calling it here. Yes, I take your point. But, you know, if you see the little sweets, the fried egg sweets, they're called fried eggs. You're not complaining about those, are you? Yeah, but they look like fried eggs. And I know that.

And seaweed looks like seaweed. I don't eat one of those. It looks so much like seaweed that up until about five minutes ago, you thought it was. It's only because I told you that you think it's cabbage. of those until I go, oh, you know that's a sweet. It looks so much like seaweed that up until about five minutes ago you thought it was. It's only because I told you that you think it's cabbage. Yeah, but, rum, rum, rum.

Like, I don't eat one of those little fried egg sweets and go, oh, that's delicious. What a nice fried egg. And you go, oh, you know that's a sweet. And I go,

oh, what? I know it's a sweet because it comes in a sweet jar. Like, genuinely, the seaweed, they've made it look like seaweed. They've made it, and also,

I swear to God, it's got sometimes quite a sea sort of smell to it. I can't even tell Catherine she's going to be absolutely mortified about this. I don't think she's going to be as angry as you think she's going to be. I think there's going to be a lot of anger towards this. I think she might say...

I think you might go in and go... I will go to my Chinese... Because I go to... Shout out to my favourite Chinese restaurant. Like, walk this way. I go all the time. I go to my Chinese, because I go to, shout out to my favourite Chinese restaurant, like, walk this way, I go all the time, I go to Wonky's,

I always have seaweed, because I actually find it a nice garnish to sort of sprinkle on any dish that you have at Chinese Takeaway, right? Right, right, right. When I go, and they say about seaweed,

I say, don't, don't even now, just keep that to yourself, I'll just sprinkle some, don't, don't, first of all,

it's your favorite chinese restaurant okay yeah let's we can get into the we can get into the semantics of the fact that your favorite chinese restaurant is called what's it called walk this way walk this way okay walk walk walk this way yeah no i get it i get it walk this way right so um you know what that says about your taste in chinese restaurants we'll leave to one side you cannot hold walk this way responsible for the entire chinese restaurant seaweed policy yeah but it's not fair we don't have to do something about this it feels like i generally think listen up until five minutes ago you loved crispy seaweed yeah until i found out it was just cabbage i didn't also let me just say cabbage should be ashamed

of itself cabbage is not gone oh, can you do me a favour? Can you call me seaweed? It's not cabbage's fault, is it? Right, cabbage, for number one, it sneaks its way into crunchy salads, right? And you've got to pick your way, you know. Cabbage is fine at Christmas. Like, you add a little bit of, like, red wine vinegar or whatever. Oh, that pickled cabbage.

You're talking about pickled cabbage? Yeah, pickled cabbage. Lovely. Yeah, that's actually seaweed. I actually feel bad that I've told you. Someone had to. I was going to find out at some point. This is probably the best way.

It'd be better than this than finding out halfway through a lovely Chinese takeaway and someone's like, oh, it's just not seaweed. So tell me this. You've had a few minutes to process it. What is going to be your attitude going forward to crispy seaweed? You're not going to have it anymore? Probably not, no. I don't like minutes to process it what is going to be your attitude going forward to crispy seaweed

you're not going to have it anymore probably not no I don't like liars you're not going to have you're not going to have something that you love that you by the way

that I know for a fact from the way you've described it that you sprinkle on all your Chinese food like salt and pepper yeah I love it yeah so you're not going to have it

on principle I just don't think I can I just don't think I can have it around me for a while I'm going to have to let this I'll probably have two or three Chinese takeaways in the next couple of weeks and see how it has been out.

And if it is... I guess I'll just then have to look at it and just go, look, I'll just have to make my peace with it. But if the person says, do you want seaweed? I'm going to say, look, I know what's going on here, mate. I'm not one of these punks who come in and doesn't have any idea what the score is. I know what this is

No, that's where you made the mistake Almost everybody knows that it's cabbage but they won't be kicking off about it I'd like to get a vote actually from Wolf and our listeners how many people know that this isn't seaweed Get in touch, wolfalpod.gmail.com

Let us know if you knew that Crispy Seamas actually two things two things i'd like to know one did you know that crispy seaweed was not seaweed and two do you care that crispy seaweed's not seaweed i'd love to know those and while we're at it can i just say as well uh what is going on with restaurants and napkins what do you mean well it's like now you go prep a lot of these coffee places, these cool coffee places, they don't give you napkins anymore in your bag. Okay.

First of all, these cool coffee places like Pratt, what are you talking about? Is Pratt somewhere you take someone to impress them? That's normally where we have most of our business meetings, Shiny. Well, I'll tell you what. I've got a little suggestion for you. Don't, no. A lot of people have meetings in Soho House. Have you heard of Pret-a-Manger?

Right. There is a legitimate reason for that, Tom. What? It's environmental. Yeah, but... They want you to go and get the napkin if you need it. I find it unhygienic for a start, right? If you want a napkin, you can go get one. Yeah, but then everyone's touching the napkins,

and then you wipe your mouth of it. What? Nobody's touching the napkins. They stick them in the thing. They've got the little spring-loaded... No, no, no, no, no, no. You need to get out there, mate. You probably have too many people buying your coffee

and bringing it to you. Wow. That's an incredible pot shot from your fucking glass house. But go on. I think on set with you, I've heard the words come from your mouth. It's possible to get a bit of a coffee more than I have dialogue.

Right. They don't, look, McDonald's, shout out McDonald's, Burger King, I think as well. They have those ones that you,

The spring-loaded thing. The spring-loaded, yeah, yeah yeah yeah Pret have a box and they're just all put in a box on the top Pret don't have that

that's not that much worse I mean I don't know if it's any worse than having the spring loaded one it is because people are ruffling through them you can't pick up

just one napkin carefully yeah sure but you don't ruffle through it and select your favourite you just take a couple from the top don't you yeah but sometimes I've seen favourite. You just take a couple from the top, don't you?

Yeah, but sometimes I've seen people take, like, their fingers stroked through, like they're going through, like... What, like a deck of cards? Yeah. Or a shuffle in them. What do you want to be like? I've seen that happen, mate. Definitely, without a doubt.

Okay. Well, I actually agree with that policy. Really? Well, I just think, like, you know, if they just throw a couple... Not everybody wants that. Yeah, but what if you're in a rush and then you're like like quick yeah i need my coffee i need to get to you know and then you get into your car and then you're just you're you're heading off and then you're oh shit no that's what happened to me quite a lot there's no napkin right okay if everyone got one yeah but also how many times have you been somewhere and you've gone oh my god

i've got a bogey up my nose. I need a napkin. You go in your glove box and you've got all your spare napkins to put in your glove box. I don't really like seeing somebody remove a bogey with a Pret-a-Manger napkin to finish with. I think get something that's made for the purpose to finish with it. Because then I'm looking at it and I'm thinking, that's for food. I just don't like it.

Are you a mouth wiper? Are you a mouth wiper? Are you a mouth wiper? Yeah. Yeah, I love what I do with my mouth. So then I end up ruining a jumper or getting a gank all over the back of my head. Do not wipe it on your jumper. I've had to sometimes if they haven't put a napkin in there. What else am I supposed to do?

Well, I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know how much debris we're talking about around your chops. No, you know, sometimes if you've had, like, particularly sort of frothy coffee, and maybe, like, some sort of chocolate twist or something, you'll have a little bit, and then you'll have to turn the sleeve inside out,

get a little wipe here, a little wipe there, and then turn it back in, back normal. Today... Something is coming. back normal. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world. We share to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of echo.

Discover the extraordinary with echo. The spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil opens May 8th under the big top at Toronto Lake shore Boulevard, West tickets at Cirque du Soleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show?

Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests and of course they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. Did this ever happen to you, right? So sometimes when you're talking to people, I suddenly become immediately paranoid that either my breast stinks or I've got the little or i've got the little

crackhead white corner mouth thing going on but i'm not aware of that like i don't know what happens every now and again i'll be in the middle of a conversation suddenly it occurs like suddenly i feel a bit dry mouthed and i think oh my god am i talking to this person and i look disgusting and they're trying to hide it and then i sort of like you i might have done this we're on talking to you in the past i just start covering my mouth with my hand. I try and make it look natural. Or I start looking away or I can't make eye contact because I'm just concerned that I've got something on my face or that my breast stinks or whatever.

Every now and again it hits me. It's absolutely crippling. I can't predict when it's going to hit me. It's the worst, especially in quite a busy social situation. If you're at one of the event things that we've had to go to in the past. And then you, if that gets into your head that your breath smells there.

And also I know by the way, cause I'm lucky enough to have a wife who will tell me if there's certain things I'll eat. And then Catherine was like, have you had so-and-so? And I'll go, yeah, yeah.

And she was like, yeah, I can, your breath stinks. And it would, then I know that I'll cancel meetings the next day. Cause I know that like the fucking ramifications of it can last for 48 hours.

You could lose a commission. Oh, yeah, yeah. But also, you can brush your teeth like a thousand times and still the fucking neck. Because it doesn't even come from your teeth. It comes from your gut, right? Bad breath, yeah. Or your gums if you've got bad gum health.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I worry about bogeys up my nose i had a bogey up my nose the other day and you had to tell me which actually i will shout you out for that because that was a very sweet thing yeah we have you got you can't let someone roll around on that but you know what especially when your friends are giant and everyone's looking up their nose yeah and we were filming as well i hate for you to watch that back i know that you watch everything you do back whereas i would never see it but um i'd hate for you to watch that back. I know that you watch everything you do back, whereas I would never see it, but I'd hate for you to watch that back and be devastated that you had a bad day.

Also, there was a whole crew there, a load of people that didn't tell me. Well, the truth is, in those situations, they're sort of thinking, we might have to reshoot some stuff if this guy becomes aware, he might ask to redo all of this. Do you know,

the last time I went and got my teeth cleaned at the hygienist, she told me that when she's on a plane, because it's an enclosed space, sometimes she can smell when people have got gingivitis. Oh, my God, really? Yeah, she's, like, really attuned to it. So, look, I guess it's, you know, her job is to sort of assess the hygiene situation. Like a superpower.

Because she's become so highly tuned to it, she can tell when people have got gum disease on a plane or on a, sometimes Because she's become so highly tuned to it. She can tell when people have got gum disease on a plane or on a, sometimes if it's an enclosed train or whatever. I mean, that is. That is incredible, isn't it?

Yeah. Also something I wouldn't want to have. No. As a thing. No, because I bet, like, more people in society have it than ever we know. Yeah.

Absolutely right. Right, should we do an email? Should we do some emails? Yeah. If I'm honest with you I still can't fucking that seaweed thing still is it

I can't tell if you're doing this no no no no effect or if it's really no no no really I genuinely just can't get my head around it I just want to kind of get to

meet the person who first decided to call it seaweed and go what were you thinking well I think it how long did you think this lie was going to last

I think it must have originally been seaweed think this line was going to last? I think it must have originally been seaweed. Yeah, but then as soon as it became cabbage, I just... I should have changed it. What do you want to call it? Crispy cabbage? Yes, that's what it is. That's actually not a bad name. And I'd actually eat it then. So you're not going to eat something you enjoy

of what? Principle? Yeah, maybe. I just... I don't know what to do at the moment. I just can't. I didn't know that this was going to happen today. Are you able to go into the emails? Yeah, no, no. Do you want to work this out? I'll get through it, mate.

I was going to have a Chinese takeaway this week, and now I'm like, do I say something that I know? When I order the seaweed, should I just go, and I'll have some seaweed, which I know, by the way, is seaweed. Tom, you're working at a Chinese restaurant. It's a slog, okay? It's a difficult, high-pressure job, running any kind of restaurant's hard. What you don't need is somebody phoning up to make an order

and they decided to challenge you on the principle of crispy seaweed. Just fucking give these people a break. I'd respect someone if I worked at a Chinese takeaway and someone said to me, i know it's not seaweed and i'd just go cool and i'll just turn around and go blah blah blah and blah blah blah yeah stick him some yeah stick him some extras when he rolls in yeah yeah i think i would go if somebody went if i if i answered the phone and said hello walk this way what can i get you uh right, I'll have the sweet and sour balls. I'll have the Kung Pao chicken.

I'll have three portions of noodles. I'll have a little bit of prawn crackers in that. And, well, I'm going to order this, but I know it's an absolute fucking sham. The crispy seaweed, which I know is actually cabbage. I would probably say, I'll just say, you know, I don't care. Yeah, but this is where you wouldn't be good front-facing.

Listen, thank God Argos didn't think so. I spent two glorious years working their customer services desk. Yeah, but if me and you had a Chinese restaurant together, I would have to turn around literally the first week of business and go, you're not going to be running the kitchen, i'm afraid because you can't like i will be better with people than you do you know what i was about to disagree with you but i think you're probably right

based on based on how we are when we're out and about i would say you're infinitely better with people than yeah i think it's not all it's not all my fault by the way i would say i i do think i just i've got resting indifferent face do you know what I mean I just don't look you're constantly I mean you're constantly

apologising for me for some reason yeah I do find that I ignore his face he's actually a nice bloke you're constantly saying that aren't you everywhere we go

even when we're not talking to people you walk past someone sorry about his face sometimes I just want to have my arm around you all the time. This first email, I'm going to say to you now, once again, shout out to The Swan for selecting the emails. This first email I'm going to say is something that we have had to address

for a while, okay? Right. And I think we're guilty of this all right um now it slightly bigs us up here okay so i i well i'm not going to apologize for that but i do think it's appropriate okay here we go christ almighty did it need that much build up i don't know anyway this is from the beluga uh dear wolf al cat and swan i hope you're all well long time listener first time emailer i love listening to the pod but i'm to have to pick you up on the way you talked about yourselves in the last ep. I'm referring to the part where you're talking about your physical attractiveness and your mates.

You are hot. Hot is a state of mind, not beer. You can sell anything as long as you believe it, which is not going to happen if you keep talking about yourselves like you work at a freak show. Forgive me if this sounds patronising, but I know how much you bring up wanting to speak about yourselves in a nicer way, so I thought I'd drop you a message. You two put so much time into self-care and betterment, from your fitness journeys, your fresh threads, your hair care, your work and mental health. That's fucking hot.

Wolf, you're a new dad juggling a career and a family and still making hot boy decisions. That's hot. Al, you're super busy bringing up three kids and smashing the comedy world big style. That's hot. What I'm trying to say is that hot is subjective, and it's just what you make of it, and you've got a lot to work with.

You've both got partners who love you for who you are. Talk about yourselves in a way to make them proud. It's time for Hot Boy Summer. You do you, Kings. Wow. What an email. Wow. That has made me feel uplifted.

That might have got rid of Seaweed Gate. It's right. It's a state of mind, right? made me feel uplifted that might have got rid of seaweed cake but I do look it's right it's a state of mind right yeah I'm lucky I have a wife

who's always I'm lucky I have parents that sort of say lovely things but then none of this is done for effect

it's like I stood on a beach yesterday looking around thinking I don't feel particularly positive about myself sometimes I feel really great about myself I don't feel particularly positive about myself

sometimes I feel really great about myself I dress well I feel nice about myself I'll be lying if I say you isn't fresh

but there's a lot you know the other day when that picture was taken of us when we played we did the Liga Challenge

with a group of teenagers and then they took that picture of me and you my gut is just hanging out the bottom of a really tight Irish shirt.

And I love the team behind League of Their Own. I can't speak highly enough of them. They're some of the best people I've ever worked on television. I'd say it's up there with the best, most enjoyable shows to make. They're an amazing team. The team behind it, I just think they're incredible. I think shout out to Jack. I think shout out to everyone who works on that show. They're're genuinely like they make it such an amazing thing to be a part of

and I always want it's one of the shows I always wanted to be a part I love being on it but there is a moment where you're like and I get it but it's always funny to put me and you in skintight clothing that we never yeah I mean it's it's it's you get you're getting bonus points there do you know in terms of like the V in terms of like I can't deny when I saw me and you on a massive big screen in front of 85,000 people both of our stomachs hanging out I'm like that's what it is that's a lot we've got but there's parts of you that just

goes it would be nice just to sort of look up and go I don't look at that thinking the first thing I look in front of like someone who's sort of half Irish looking up and thinking, Oh man, I'm at Croke Park.

What an amazing thing is my, my grandmother a bit and grandfather in life to see me here. I look up and go, I look at my gut and get over my shorts. Yeah. I think, look, Beluga,

thank you for your email. You, you've made me, you have actually made me think about this. Yeah. Tom, I want you to say that. I want you to repeat after me. Okay. I want you to say this sentence. Tom, I want you to say that. I want you to repeat after me.

Okay. I want you to say this sentence out loud. I want you to say it proud. I am Tom Davis and I am hot. I've got people who can hear me say that in this house, but please say it. Please, please.

I am Tom Davis and I am hot. Yeah. You've got to do the same. Okay. I am Romesh Ranganathan and i am hot wowza you actually you there's a sparkling you you feels great yeah yeah yes you know what you look like you look like a disney character who just sort of like defeated the sort of like an ice no you know what's gonna happen sunshine back to the kingdom beluga's gonna regret sending that email because i'm just gonna

be like every week just like oh my god i'm so hot you do that by the way that awesome shirt is trippy as in it yeah that this shirt does help yeah it's good it's a good shirt helps me look hot and you've got a nice natural wave to your hair at the moment as well i don't know about my hair at the moment i love it don't even get me started it's uh it's very very temperamental the old curls i mean one day you wake up you're looking fly as anything the next day you wake up and you looking fly as anything the next day you wake up and you look like well you don't look good i can't think of an analogy uh okay uh next email this is from the zebra spider and the zebra spider says hi wolf alan swan i'm from the south of england in a little town called waterlooville i do know that town love the show

i'm usually listening to it at work while tidying the shelves and just suddenly burst out laughing i can't imagine that's going to happen with this episode or at the end of the day uh after caring uh caring for my one-year-old son i love your comedy shows almost finished uh first year as a king i think it's great and love devoid it's proper feel-good comedy so nice work lads i need some ideas for my 30th birthday next year please i've had this idea i've been toying with i love the idea of a holiday cabin in the woods near a lake or river i'm not a massive partying type so i just want something low-key i love the outdoors and genuinely want to spend some quality time with my wife and son away from all the stresses of life but i wanted to factor in something that my son would enjoy too so maybe

uh some outings to the zoo etc random hold on this question is totally unrelated to the random question you have to watch one movie every day for the rest of your life, what would it be? I was expecting some sort of really like hitty, knowledgeable thing yeah, mine would be Footloose, something about the film makes me uplifted and also love the old school Beatle, Kevin

Bacon, this question this is an unusual email strategy you think Lisa's read the first half of this this one i'd love to hear i'd love to hear rob and tom talk about what they might want to do for the birthday whether his cabin's a great idea and not read the question at the end of it um firstly i think the cabin's a fantastic idea and i think i think your son will have incredible memories man let me just say by the way like the beach and all that, what I think one of the most amazing moments

of my whole life is just watching Grace go into the sea for the first time. Like having a little, you know, Catherine Dippin, a little coach. She was being supervised. All right, okay. No, no, we didn't roll her down there

and just saw her for the best. Oh, gosh, it's beautiful the way she struggles, isn't it? She'll swim. She'll get the hang of it. No, it was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen like an incredible moment

just amazing and I think that's yeah so what an amazing thing that'll be in a log cabin any one film to watch every day

for the rest of my life yeah it's a really weird I love Hangover 2 Hangover 2? yeah yeah wow

you know what it's easy to pick a film like Goodfellas The's easy to pick a film like Goodfellas The Godfather like pick a film who wants to watch that every day

you've got to think of like you've got to put in any factor any mood that you're in right I don't know The Hangover 2

always makes me laugh I think it's just you know that I'd say The Hangover 2 or man nobody's asked for one and he says well look i

would love to i would love to uh pick a comedy for just 4.99 you can get a subway six inch black forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli but the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful black forest ham we're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We're talking friggin' fresh slicing and I'm yelling yes way. Get a six-inch black forest ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary.

Extras, taxes, and delivery additional. Expires April 8th. Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. Order up for Damien.

Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about rhabelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say rbelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis. order up for rebelses but i just feel like if you're watching a comedy every day for the rest of your life it would start to well yours has got to be like star wars if i know that no it wouldn't be star wars you know what mine would be go on what's going on sorry sorry what's going on with you because i'm leaning back like if if we were on like a film

panel show or a film review show that's how you lean back on a film panel show, is it? A film review show, yeah, yeah. Feet up on the table like you fucking just smashed it. Is that just after you've said a joke that's got a round of applause? You just sit back, feet up on the desk, have a little glass of water. We'll see you on Monday. Mine would be Back to the Future. Oh, that's a good call.

That's a really good call. When I first watched Back to the Future, I think the Back to the Future oh that's a good call um that's a really good call when i first watched back to the future i think the back to the future trilogy is up there for me i know people criticize three but i love three it's probably my favorite yeah i love three we've talked about it before yeah but the reason i love back to the future so much is i love the story and everything i love doc brown i just love when i was a kid watching how cool everybody thought marty mcfly was when he went back to the 1950s oh my god you know when he pulls the thing off and it turns into a skateboard and all that and then his mom's going oh my god he's a dream oh god you know the thing about it right is it's like it seems such a great michael j i really watched we went back and we watched the um

his curfew he has an episode which I think is one of the best. It's amazing. You think that and Teen Wolf. He was just so fucking... Teen Wolf's another example of a film like that where he's just an absolute don in it, right? Yeah, but also he manages to be cool but also the underdog at the same time.

That's so hard. So no one would write a character like that, but then portray a character that is like accessible enough for if you're a bit of a nerd or you're a bit of a sort of like outsider but also if you're a jock you can kind of go oh it could be me as well yeah i think that marty mcfly would be the ideal best friend i agree i just think you just have an incredible life if you're marty mcfly's best friend yeah i totally agree so what a great choice what a great choice yeah do you know

what I'm almost now just going to probably come around to yours and watch back if we're in that scenario I don't we're talking about

every day for the rest I don't want to watch back to the future the every day for the rest of my life no no but I'll probably watch

hangover like two for like a few days and just come around to yours and watch back to you because I know you let's do that

let's do that yeah that's good I've got a feeling I'll be coming around to yours more than you I think you'll probably watch

hangover too like maybe for the first I think you'll probably watch Hangover 2 like maybe for the first few weeks. I'll definitely watch Hangover 2. It'll just be at my house if I feel like watching it. Zebra Spider, thank you for that absolute rollercoaster of an email.

Wowzers. Appreciate it. Happy birthday. Happy 30th. Enjoy it, brother. Happy 30th, man. I hope it goes wicked. I hope it goes wicked.

Keep doing you, bro. You sound like an amazing human being. You sound like an absolute king. You sound like a hot king no I shouldn't have said that okay next email is from please keep my name anonymous

I'd like to start off with the usual stuff that you don't read out I have actually been reading it out because this is hot boy summer I'd like to start off

with the usual stuff that you don't read about how much I love the podcast and the content that you guys create or are a part of. Merging Successful is a personal favourite. Rom, I also love the new series. I don't know how much you loved it. I haven't even named it.

I've got a bit of a dilemma that I would love for you guys to weigh in on. I'm 25 years old. I've been with my girlfriend for six years now. We pretty much went through our entire school life together. So she's been a huge part of my life. Our relationship is great, but sometimes I do wonder what it would like to be single as I've never really experienced it. I work a huge part of my life. Our relationship is great, but sometimes I do wonder what it would like to be single as I've never really experienced it.

I work a relatively demanding job in banking. I've been fortunate enough to have been offered a position abroad, which presents amazing benefits. This is where the dilemma begins. On the one hand, it's an incredible opportunity, and one, I may not have the chance to take up again and live to regret if I turn down. But on the other hand, it would essentially mean leaving my girlfriend here and ending our six-year relationship.

It's not possible for her to come, even though there's nothing wrong between us. We do not live together yet. I've moved out on our own, but it's something we've been talking about doing. In my own mind, I'm steering more towards taking the opportunity, but am I a bad person in doing so? I feel like the decision to move would be a huge shock to her,

so I'm unsure whether to even speak to her about it before, as I know she would be strongly opposed to the idea. We'd love to know what you guys think and what you think I should do. Jesus Christ, this is a tough one, isn't it? Well, well, well. So you've been with us for six years from the age of 19. It's obviously a sticky problem, so doing a stupid little rhyme

is the most appropriate thing to do. I would say, number one, I think, speak to her. I think that is a good, honest conversation of where that is the, a good, honest conversation of like, you know,

where you're at as a person, what, what's going on, what this chance means to you, you know, what you think your benefits of you doing, you know, and also I think at this point probably having like quite honest discussion about where your relationship is at on a person.

I remember years and years ago being offered to when i was first i've probably been doing stand-up for about three years and then i got offered to go and support someone doing like on a tour to australia australia and new zealand and um like i was with uh an ex-girlfriend at a time and sort of was like I really wanted to go I thought it'd be amazing for my career and I was really sort of and also our relationship wasn't in a great great place but I sort of in the end decided not to not to go basically and just to sort of like try and make the relationship work and we ended up splitting up about a month and a half afterwards and you know so it was an amazing you

know don't don't things have turned out all right but i constantly look back at thinking what an incredible thing that would have been just as a life experience to have done yeah that i didn't do and if probably i'd had that conversation and turned around and said that this is how i feel this is where i'm at um i think probably both of us would have decided to sort of like call time of death around then but instead what happened was to sort of like call time a death around then. But instead what happened was I sort of almost resented the fact that I didn't go do the thing that I think I wanted to do. And, you know, I didn't probably work as hard as I could have at the relationship. Things have all turned out great.

That's life. You know, things are amazing. But I think if I just had that conversation, it probably would have, yeah, probably would have been a little bit easier. So do it, man. Have the conversation. Don't make any choices till then. if I'd just had that conversation, it probably would have, yeah, it probably would have been a little bit easier. So, do it, man. Have the conversation. Don't make any choices till then.

But I think, you know, a face-to-face would be a good thing. Um, great advice from Tom. I'm sorry to hear about your relationship, Tom, as well.

No, no, it's not. Yeah, Catherine's, yeah, Catherine's, yeah,

it's all worked out pretty well. I can't, yeah, no, yeah, both my career and my wife. Yeah, yeah,

great. So, too hot boy there, if you don't mind me saying, but, I can't. Yeah, no. Both my career and my wife are great. You're a bit too hot boy there, if you don't mind me saying. Okay. This is what I think. I do think you need to talk to her. How I feel is, if I... And I know I'm in a different position because I'm in a marriage with three kids.

But I can't imagine an opportunity that I'd even consider if it would potentially lead to the ending of my relationship. I just can't visualise how that would happen, and I don't think I would have ever felt like that since the relationship between Lisa and myself got serious. So I guess what I'm saying is, I think the very fact that you're thinking about it and that you're considering the opportunity sort of suggests that maybe it's the right thing to do. I think, do you know what I mean? Because I feel like if you really wanted to be with this person, regardless of anything, I don't think it would be as much of a dilemma as it is.

And look, I don't know how possible it is for her to come or not you said it's not possible but um I think what Tom said is right is that you need to talk to her and see what she says and say that you really want to do this thing and then come to a decision together she won't like it she it will be a huge shock to her but those aren't reasons to not talk to her about it in fact those are reasons more so to talk to her about it. One of the things that people do in life, and I'm guilty of this, and I've wrote a whole show about doing this, which is basically where you see things like this

that are difficult and you decide not to do them. You get scared of doing them and you don't grab the problem by the scruff of the neck. I think you need to have this conversation. I think you need to say exactly what you said in this email to her and see what happens because you're obviously seriously considering it and she needs to know that do you know i mean so um look it's not going to be easy either way but i think you need to open up

that conversation as soon as you possibly can that would be my advice to you um i hope that's useful good luck please let us know how it works out go on my soldier go on my g um okay tom it's about that time take us out of this my my my oh god okay can you just do the end bit please yo people friends leaders brothers sisters those who accompany us on this journey i want you to kick back and relax and think about your problems i want you to think about your problems like you are maybe collecting them like life is a supermarket and as you go around you are getting little bits here and little bits there from different aisles different problems of different levels of importance i want you to then imagine that at some point all those problems come together like you're paying for them at a till and when someone asks for a carrier bag you say

nah I'm all right I will just carry them in my arms and what will happen as you slowly walk down the street is you'll struggle. You'll struggle more and more with a load of problems because you'll be trying to hold this bit and some rice will drop on the floor and then some squash will start rolling out of your arms and then you'll sort of struggle and then it will just all become harder and harder. And eventually you'll probably have to sit down on a small wall or a bench just to sort of like say, I can't't get home i can't carry on like this because the load within my arms aka the problems are too much but if you were to put those problems

in a carrier bag which is almost like a friend that you share those problems with you find that the journey home would be that little bit easier what my point is is this sometimes don't try and be a hero by walking through life carrying too much unload find in life a carrier bag of a friend who can hold those problems for you just for a little bit until you get them home and you've worked them out and then you can cook a lovely meal and actually the problems that you thought you had were nothing but a great meal or the ingredients for such. God bless you all. Beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful. Guys, I hope you heed that advice and hand over that carrier bag to somebody that you care about and you get the home and you get those groceries out and you make yourself a sumptuous sumptuous meal um take care of yourselves tom it's been a pleasure to chat to

you how would you assess this episode i have never any idea of these no jt i've got no idea yeah let us know uh good luck guys take care of yourselves thanks for listening peace out one love goodbye bye guys guys. Take care of yourselves. Thanks for listening. Peace out. One love. Goodbye. Bye, guys. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.