Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 44: Dandelions & Paranoia

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

We’re talking… blowing on dandelions, childhood myths, theme park panics and abseiling tears, workplace injuries, gym rats, making the most of travel, controlling our paranoia and absolutely loving taxi bikes. Plus, emails questions on the pitfalls of family phone tracking and horror films on a first date. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Outro Music howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheeps clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all your ears are huff a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Well, well, well

Look who's back in the booth The wolf and the owl Yeah, baby How are ya? I'm good, I'm good Can you hear my little girl outside having a... She's really found her voice in the last sort of week If things aren't to her liking

or if she gets annoyed by saying the whole house knows about it. I'd arguably say the whole street knows about it. She's at the moment. Who's she getting that from? I think me. I think there's a significant... Yeah.

She wants the phone off you if you're FaceTiming someone and she wants the phone. If you don't give her the phone off you, if you're FaceTiming someone and she wants the phone, if you don't give her the phone, like, she doubles up crying and shouting. It's like the end of the world. It's insane. It's a beautiful thing.

Well, I'm glad that you think it's a beautiful thing. No, I think it's good to express yourself like that. I think it's amazing. Yeah, I think it's better to sort of do what I do. I've trained my kids from a very early age to just push that down. Try to stop feeling anything. Your emotions. You know what? Just keep shoving it.

Shove it, shove it, shove it right down. I think that this is the thing that you want. A bit like Sheriff of Nottingham or someone. This is the card that you like to play sometimes in the Romesh Ranganathan array of the deck of romesh rank and athens but i actually think you're probably one of the most openly emotional people i know in my life i'm one of the most openly emotional people you know it's not so much about that gaggle of friends that i have but uh yeah no i think you're genuinely i think yeah i think you express emotion if you're feeling down you say you're feeling down if you're

pissed off i think it's pretty easy to tell you're feeling down. You say you're feeling down if you're pissed off. I think it's pretty easy to tell you're pissed off. Yeah. I mean, you've described two negative situations. Do I ever express that? No,

no, if you're happy, we all know from this podcast, if you're happy, you're fucking sprinting around town like a fucking cat who's found a daffodil. You're loving life.

You know? Or like, you know, when you see a little baby duck sort of sneeze on a, what's those ones that fly everywhere? Dandelions? Dandelions, yeah. You know? Or like, you know when you see a little baby duck sort of sneeze on a, what's those ones that fly everywhere? Dandelions?

Dandelions, yeah. No, no, no. What's the ones that you blow and they just go into the air? Yeah, dandelions. Do you want to ask me a third time?

Dandelions. I don't know what a dandelion. I can imagine you. No, you're... I think... Go on. I think one of the things that I'd love to see

more than anything else is I'd love to get a time machine and see your little face when you first blew on a dandelion and it just went out into the ether. Because I think that's the moment you knew that the world was open to you and you could accomplish anything. I really like, you sort of romanticise my life

in a really derogatory and horrible way, don't you? No, it's not. No, you do. That's a really sweet thought no but you talk about me like you know like a baby lamb first emerging from the sheep vag and then sort of taking its first steps and it's sort of a bit sad and tragic and cute and oh look it's learned how to do this and oh look he's blown a dandelion what a great thing for him to do at 19 you know no i just think it's a beautiful moment,

right, where you are sprinting as quick as you can through a park, right, and you sort of slip, you trip on a, like a tree,

a tree stump, and sort of, you know, at first you're going to cry, and then you see this dandelion, and you're like, what the fuck, what is this?

What is this beautiful thing? And you sort of pick it from the ground, sort of examine it for a little bit, and then you blow it, and it just sort of, absolutely just goes out into the sky. And that's the moment you just look and you go, wow.

And you almost follow the dandelion in a way. Or one bit of it. I wasn't, I mean, what you're describing there is not what I was like as a child. My mum, like, said that I was quite a, it sort of upsets me when I tell these stories, cause it sort of, it makes me feel like that's what I am at my core, regardless of what I do as a grub. But like, I was a very scared child.

So like, for example, one day mum and dad took us to the park to go and play on the climbing frame and stuff. And I saw the climbing frame and immediately started crying. Wow. Yeah. Just cause of the thought of of like i was quite a fat kid as well so physically things were struggle so i think i think i i think i threw forward to what that was going to look like if sort of me halfway up the climbing frame can't get any further and kids just throwing stones at me and stuff i mean i think i knew that's how that was going to pan out, you know. Even now I still have the problem of like, if I hear something as a rumour, I significantly worry about it being, so for example, remember like when you were a kid and you used to,

like people used to go on the swings and try and go all the way around on a swing. So they loop it almost, they loop the chain. I remember being told that like a boy at sort of another school somewhere had tried that and as he sort of went over the bar he let go and he cracked his head open and sort of like from that moment i'd probably never go anywhere near the top of us i knew the limits of a swing yeah like i was so worried about that happening to me. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. And then there was a water slides one as well, wasn't there? And then there was... The razors in the water slides.

Yeah, and then I can't remember what other ones there were. That was a water palace in Purley. Yeah, it was. Yeah, that was the one. But I'm assuming that that happened at loads of them. I mean, the myth, I mean. But the water palace at Purley, you can imagine, would be true. Also, the ingenuity of...

So the idea is somebody takes razor blades with them in their shorts or whatever, and then as they're going down, manages to embed them permanently into the water. I mean, when you think about it, I mean, when you hear that as an eight, nine-year-old, it feels like something you should be absolutely terrified of. But as an adult, it feels quite frankly ridiculous

that a kid would be able to stop halfway through and then just have enough sort of about him. I would say it didn't take me till adulthood to figure that out, that that was going to be unlikely. I mean, Water Palace closed down when I think it was about 14. It's incredible that we ever believed it. Yeah, I mean, Water Palace closed down. I think it became a nightclub, didn't it?

Yeah, and then there's some sort of story about needles in there or something but but the um but the the water slide thing is like it's incredible if somebody as a kid if somebody put that into your head it doesn't matter how much contrary evidence you hear you still believe it right like you know the fact the fact is that you're queuing up for the water slide loads of people are going down the water slide and it's absolutely fine you know they're not being torn to ribbons as they go down and there's like this pile of kids in a pool at the bottom but but for some reason you think oh what maybe like they're only going to hit me do you mean like maybe everyone else has been fine and then again i feel like that about yeah when i was in disney i i i don't i find rides scary but i find incredibly scary about them is my ongoing belief that the thing will fail just for me i've been there yeah you know like

the bar will just release yeah only for i've been on that thing that's that's happened to me with a bar what happened like so i was at, oh, sorry, pardon me. I was at Thought Park and there's a big ride at Thought Park. So just for people listening, when Tom said, pardon me there, you're thinking, well, I didn't hear anything. That was because Tom stopped mid-sentence to remove an eye bogey. It was rather annoying me. I went on the biggest

rollercoaster at Thorpe Park whatever it's called and as it was taking off they were going down and this is when I was at my biggest so it was probably about

23 stone the thing wouldn't clamp down so you know it clamps down you go click click click and the first and like sometimes sometimes you pull it down too much and you crush yourself but then it's all you know you click it cramps down three you go click click click yeah and the first and like sometimes sometimes you pull it down too much and you crush yourself but then it's locked in right yeah yeah so it was about to take off you know the kid who's like fucking i don't know 15 16

he works there he's you know he's literally walking down candidly and i'm right at the back and as he sort of gets to me i'm like this doesn't feel like it's going on properly and he's just then he went how many clicks did you hear? I was like, one. And his face just goes ashen. He's absolutely like, what the fuck? So he then tries to push it, but my weight's pushing against it. And then it's like, then you hear that as the roller coaster started to take off.

And he did exactly what you're saying. With everything he had in his ether and in his his body he pushed down the final two clicks which meant number one my noobs went through the fucking so i had almost like a bra really like it like it's like a jelly going yeah spatula or something yeah it looked like i you know like madonna, like when Madonna used to push everything up. Yeah. So, I mean... You're wearing a corset. You're wearing a safety corset.

Yeah, essentially wearing like a corset, but then also took all my breath away. So, then I'm just sort of like, you know, winded, just as this thing starts. And as it arrives at its, you know, afterwards, the whole, it was so painful, but also the fear, thinking this is 23 stone riding up against this whole thing like if this gives way i literally held it down for the whole time

like it was awful it was one of the worst experiences of my life you know um those sort of things like i always i've got loads of examples of where my sort of overweight body, um, caused a conversation to be had. That was really embarrassing. Like, for example, I remember going to get like school uniform at about 11 and I was really, really overweight at that age and go into the shop and them having a very open conversation about how for kids trousers they'd never had to encounter somebody who was that height with that width combination like they're just i remember the start members i still have that now i remember the members trying to buy a suit off the peg yeah but i remember i remember starters going i've just not come across it you know sort of talking like that and then um i remember going to when i did horrible i know it's such a mean thing

when i did asian adult as well i know yeah but they don't like that like you've got to remember that the sensitivities around body shape and body image have come on a lot even in the last few years right like like back then people just talk frank i mean teachers would take the piss out of you do you know what i mean like i remember i remember taking my jumper off in a geography lesson and it pulled my shirt off like pulled my shirt up as i did it even now to this day i think maybe because of this incident if i'm at the gym with lisa i ask her to hold my t-shirt down or i tuck it in as tightly as i can when i take my jump i had that exact thing the other day i was on a shoot and i took my jumper off yeah and my top came up and I was just

genuinely mortifiedly embarrassed it's awful you sort of I'm in my potentially maybe the best shape I've ever been in you look unbelievable

but I'm still like you know we were talking about this when I did I think I can say this but I don't know if I've told this story

but when I did League right the first year I did it one of the things we had to do is abseil down this tower and it was me and Freddie and Jamie did it and it was me and it was supposed to be AJ and AJ couldn't do it for

yeah because AJ would have done it but AJ couldn't do it because of injury or whatever. So I had to do it. And I literally, so it's me and this woman going down who's sort of showing me. Firstly, they were like, all right, when you go past,

AJ, Freddie and Jamie are all going to be in this restaurant that you go past just as you go over the edge. I'm fucking terrified anyway. So they're all going to be having some food and drinks uh oh so the idea is you come down the like outside of the window yeah right yeah so we're going to film it and then if you hold them and we're going to then just move all the cameras down down to the bottom of the thing right so i number one is my favorite show i'm dying to do the show by By the way, before we carry on,

I know that the job of these people is to get you to agree to do it, right? Despite fear. So what always happens, and I imagine this will happen to you, it was described so casually to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Almost like it's a nothing for you to do it, right?

I imagine that's how that was delivered to you. And also, it's the first time I'd ever met AJ, Freddie and Jamie. So there's a lot of testosterone knocking about. That's an intimidating scenario, right? Yeah, and it's the first time I'm on it. If I'm honest with you, there was a certain air of someone else might have dropped out and they'd had to call me last minute.

So I thought, well, I've got to make a show of myself here. I've got to do well. You've got to step up yeah you're coming off the bench yeah yeah so i thought the first thing they've asked me to do i can't tell me i'm not going to do that so and to be fair like the producers were like are you sure about this i was like no i'll do it and so but firstly i'm going you go over the edge and literally then you come to this massive like window this this whole glass sort of 360 glass restaurant and they're like right hold there tom hold there because they've seen me going i was going to move the cameras into the restaurant so now i'm holding there for 10 minutes yeah right my ass is going i can sort of look in the restaurant and the others are the others are

just chatting amongst themselves you know it's what i mean what interesting conversation yes jamie freddie and anthony joshua they're three amazing sports people all chatting about and i'm just literally floating there outside a restaurant look very much how my life's always seemed looking at three very successful men when i'm hanging around hoping that i don't fall that's pretty much feels like my you know and then the cameras come in then there's a bit of banter they're sort of all laughing and i'm joking and i'm sort of trying to be funny but also I'm absolutely terrified. How close did you come to crying? Do you think during that?

I reckon, well, let me finish. Yeah. So we then, the lady says, okay, they say,

right, we're going to run the cameras downstairs and a lift. And then, so we stayed there for another fucking 10 minutes. They get the cameras down and then we start our descent. On the way down, the harness on me is creaking like so much like you know when you're just like this feel it does not feel stable so i turn to the woman and i'm like um this my harness is creaking loads and she's like

is it a constant creak and i'm like yeah it's kind of creaking all the time she said it shouldn't be creaking all the time which then you're in my anxiety goes starts really pumping my heart rate yeah i'm not surprised rushing and when you say about crying i can feel the tears like almost like tears within my sort of tear ducts nudging each other going let's not be about to go to work lads and then um try and time it so that you're in front of freddie jamie and aj she said how much do you weigh and i was like uh like 22 stone and she was like how much is that in kilograms i was like i don't fucking know like she was like roughly in kilograms i don't know 22 stone i would say in your defense there if somebody's in charge of the weight limits of a harness, know all the units.

Yeah. Would be my tip. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And then, she then basically, I turn to her and I'm like,

she then sort of starts doing the maths in her head and then she said, oh, right, and her face is, her face turns to fear, very much like the guy

on the roller coaster. And she says, you are maybe three stone too heavy for the harness? the roller coaster. And she says, you are maybe three stone too heavy for the harness. And I'm like, what the... I'm now hundreds of feet up in the air. The

tears now start. I'm genuinely like, this is it then. I'm done. I'm literally going to be the first person to die on the leg of the road. So I then fucking start speeding up. You say first person. After the first death, I'd hope they'd cancel the show. To be fair,

the first death actually came about three weeks later when I was in the studio. Yeah, that was the second time you cried on there, you got it. I got roasted by fucking davision ola um so now my descent starts going faster and faster and faster yeah and the woman's like you need to slow down so that i'm not taking a chance to slow down i'd rather hit the ground knowing that i've got this like you know uh and she's then trying to catch up so I slow down and then

fucking just as I'm going to the floor I think I time it now because even if I fall from here I'm only breaking a leg or two so I slow it down a bit but as I slowed it down

completely fucking rope burned all my hand when I hit the ground I had honestly I'd been crying the whole way you know I'd say

75% of the way down I've been crying like crying were you crying noticeably or were you crying sort of silently I was been crying the whole way. Yeah, I'd say 75% of the way down I've been crying. Like crying, like crying. Were you crying noticeably or were you crying sort of silently? I was crying to the point, yeah, where I had tears coming down my face. Not like, but I was also in this, I think in the midst of a panic attack.

Yeah, of course. My anxiety. So when I hit the ground, I sort of was like, da-da-da. And the first face I looked up was Freddie, basically sort of put an arm around me and sort of gave me, oh, well done dah. And the first face I looked up was Freddie, basically sort of put an arm around me and sort of was gave me, oh, well done, big lad.

And then he saw the tears. Oh, God. And then sort of AJ, Jamie, and everyone saw the tears. And you know what? Because then I was like, oh, you know, I sort of was like,

you know, it's so hard to do because you're like, I don't want to be angry, but I should never have been on that fucking thing. No, I'd say it's fair to say you shouldn't be in a rope harness

that maxed out three stone under your weight. Yeah, I think that's fair enough. So I sort of turned around and I was just like, you know, sort of,

the woman said I was too heavy and then she basically did a lot of that. He was far too heavy for that fucking thing. But then it turned out that the guy at the top the guy who basically nothing to leave around the guy who ran the thing had said that i'd be fine it was like he legal around had gone this is how much he weighs and the guy who ran the abseiling had gone yeah he's got fine he's fine on that

it was just a lady there had just been a little bit more cautious, I guess. But he was right. You were fine. Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, arguably, once you're halfway down, you don't need that information about the harness.

Also, do you know that almost the worst bit of this is I hadn't, like, you know, they take your case when you get there, and it's quite intense, isn't it, to film in? Yeah. The amount I sweated, Romesh, going down there, like, it was quite a warm day. I'd sweated a lot. I sort of thought, I just want to sort of a bit of a spray of deodorant

and to put a clean T-shirt on that hasn't got blood and dirt. And tears on it. Or where I hit the ground on. Yeah. Yeah, and tears on it and snot. They were like, right, we're going to go to the next place. I sat hit the ground on. Yeah. Yeah, and tears on it and snot. They were like, right, we're going to go to the next place. I sat in the...

AJ smells amazing. I don't know if you've ever been there. We have been there. I've been there. Freddie and Jamie also smell... I knew as I got in the car to go to the next fucking challenge that we did that it was me that stank of beer.

Yeah. And I'd like to say that everyone else in the car knew that as well. Yeah. It was just so fucking... All I could think of, I was trying to be funny. I could think... I've cried in front of the V3 now. That's where I sit in the...

I knew that I was the bottom of, you know, the score of manliness here. So I've cried in front of all three of them, but also that I was aware that I stank as well, which is just not a good look. You kind of get yourself into a situation where everything you do you find embarrassing. I mean, like, the truth is

you probably didn't stink as bad as you thought. It's totally fine to have cried if you're on a rope harness that's three stone underneath what it should have as a maximum load. All of that stuff's fine, but it's just like you just get in your own head, don't you? Yeah, yeah. I totally get it. I totally get it.

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Visit Knorr.com to learn more. Why not kick back with a cold, smooth bush. Smooth taste. Great value. Bush Lager. Enjoy responsibly. Must be legal drinking age. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music.

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and I came off the bike very slowly. Like, I hit a bump and, like, came over the front of the bike and I broke my right wrist and dislocated my thumb on my left hand or the other way around one either way i damaged both hands and i was so in shock that they the medic the medic gave me gas and air like i was going into labor and like so i was sat on the ground having come off the bike i would say rough estimate five miles an hour right and i was sat on the ground and at first freddie and jamie were concerned when the medic gave me the gas and air the looks on their faces well i mean i i it was

like i'd been in shock after a serious car accident like to give you an idea of how pathetic this accident was my one of the guys sent me the clip on my phone of me coming off the bike and so the kids were asking me as i came in with the cast and stuff and i'd be talking to elise about the possibility she's gonna have to wipe my ass for the next week or so because i thought both hands were out of commission and uh i showed my kids and one of them went that's a bit embarrassing isn't it one of the kids did oh wow wow which kid said that theo i think it was theo yeah he's the one that's got that that kind of that kind of stank yeah he's got he's got that sort of freddy stank isn't he i had it when i worked in uh building sites and scaffolding. And there was, like, when you're scaffolding,

you're taking, like, the tubes of people. Like, one came down, and basically it was a metal splinter, and it went right through the bit of your hand between your thumb and your finger, the forefinger there, right? So it went right through there. It's this metal splinter. And I was like, oh, fucking hell, that hurts. And someone there went, oh, you'll be careful of metal splinters

because they can get into your blood and it can sort of create sort of sepsis and blood, you know. So I started trying to get this metal shard out of my hand and couldn't. It was sort of like, it's not like wood. There's no grip on it. So it just sit. It sounds horrible, by the way.

Yeah. So I was like panicking about it. I got myself into what was known the way. Yeah. So I was, like, panicking about it. I got myself into what was known as a tiz. Mm. And... Crying? I was like, I'm going to go to the hospital and get this out. Yeah.

And the look on the other guys' faces... One bloke said, I've had a metal splinter in my hand for 15 years. And I was like, that's not true. And he was like, it fucking is, mate. I was like, show me. And he showed me this sort of fucking horrible sort of black sort of... And I was like, I don true and he was like fucking his mate I was like show me and he showed me this sort of horrible sort of black sort of

and I was like I don't want that in my head I think he's at fault there you know he doesn't suddenly become part of you like you're a cyborg

we were on turning to metal man so Iron Man started mate fuck's sake just get with it so fucking

Tony Stark he was a multi-billionaire. Yeah, that's how, how do you think you got the nickname Robo Cop?

Robo Scout. But we were on price work at the time, which meant you got paid for how much work you did that day. Right.

So, you weren't paid a daily wage yet and, you know, once you take a man out of the equation, even the worst person there,

which I was, you know, your price and amount of work you get done that day decreases massively. But I went to hospital. Obviously, it's fucking hospital. So I was there for like four hours. And then I came back with a bandage on my hand. I reckon it was probably about three years before I lived that down.

Yeah. Like, you know, if someone else got a metal splinter, they went, quick, Tom, get him to hospital. Quick, call the doctor, mate. Call the doctor. He's not going to make it. years before I lived that down yeah like you know if someone else got a metal splinter and I went quick Tom get into hospital quick call the doctor mate call the doctor he's not gonna make it and it was just like you know that thing of me thinking the embarrassment of like like and I worked myself into it is just saying to them fucking hell if I get sepsis and all that and they were like you won't get sepsis it's's fine. And I was like, no, but he said I would. And it was just, the worry of it, like, just over, I couldn't think of a world that I'd only had,

like, I was literally just resigned at one point to only having one hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. Like, it went from there to there so quickly. What is the worst case scenario in this situation? I lose a hand. Yeah. I get that.

I had a thing where, it's not as bad as that but I was I was at the gym a few months ago and somebody I sort of know I don't sort of know I do know

goes happened to be doing the same stuff as me so he goes why don't you just jump in with me so I was like

alright and he's like much bigger than me he's like a proper like actual gym rat and at one point I was doing like a gym rat yeah gym rat that's like a proper, like, actual gym rat. And at one point, I was doing like a...

Gym rat? Yeah, gym rat. That's like a... Why are you looking all snobby about that? I just... No, it's just like you, the way, like, you call, you sort of sat there, and you were like, yeah, he's just a fucking gym rat, yeah.

No, but gym rat, I didn't make that up. Gym rat's like a well-known thing. I didn't. I know you didn't. It's slang. It's gym slang, isn't it? It's not gym slang. Gym rat. Isn't gym rat a thing? It's Jim Slang, isn't it? It's not Jim Slang. Jim Rat.

Isn't Jim Rat a thing? Doesn't everyone know what Jim Rat is? I hope there's someone listening to this right now whose name is Jim Rat. Jim Rat. I'm Jim Rat, but you can call me the camel. Just... anyway at one point during the thing we're doing like a like a bent over row with like you know you get a sort of like a i dropped the dumbbell onto my thumb right and it immediately kind of splatted and like blood started pissing out of underneath the thumbnail and it really hurt

in the moment it really hurt i mean it hurt for a while afterwards and um i sort of wandered over put the weight away then i came back and it was like just like blood was like sort of pouring out of the underneath of the thing and i showed him i said oh look what i've done and the look on his face as if to say first of all it was a combination thing of how did you do that? You've got to be some sort of fucking idiot. And secondly, why would you show me? Like, it's like, he looked at me like I was showing him a graze. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I've got a boo-boo. Do you know what I mean? I felt so embarrassed as soon as I'd done it. It was so bad man i uh i'm very jet lagged yeah now i uh i want to just before we get into emails uh i had a revelation on this trip so first of all apologies to the listeners if you think i'm a bit lackluster today as i always apologize for always apologise for. But I've got this jet lag where I'm sleeping through the night. So the first night I got back, I slept through.

So I thought I must be all right. But I just am. If you said to me, oh, Rom, do you want to just sleep now for the next half an hour and I'll take over? I would go to sleep immediately. That's how I feel. I could sleep immediately at any moment. Really fun for Lisa to have me back, by the way. She's absolutely delighted with the romish that she's received.

But I can't, so I don't think I'm allowed to say why, but I was in New York. No, I was in LA, Vegas and New York over the last 10 months, right? And normally, as you know, I've talked about this in the past, I disengage from the trip. So I do whatever work I've got to do. And then I just go back to my hotel and sort of skulk around. Quite a lonely existence.

That's what my kind of default setting is. But this time I thought, you know what? I'm actually going to make an effort. And it's changed my life. In LA, I was looking up friends, going out in the evening, even if I felt tired. In New York, I was like, looking up friends, going out in the evening, even if I felt tired. In New York, I gigged. Wow.

In Vegas, I went out. It was just like, I think I've discovered life. Wow. No, what I mean by that. You're like, this feels like a Will Smith movie. I overstated that a little bit. Yeah, the pursuit of normal. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's what anybody else would do

if you're in a situation where you went there. But I don't normally do that. I'm like sort of, I don't know if it's antisocial or flaky or... No, but I also think that's, I think,

I hear that. I find sometimes mine's a social anxiety that I have around those things. Yeah. I worry about putting myself out there and someone saying, nah.

I do too. So that's my saying nah i do too so that's my big worry of anything is that's why i constantly never want to organize nights out or organize things i can't i'm just a bit like i don't want to be pied in the face well i had like oh yeah i had a really embarrassing thing where i said out loud the thing that I was thinking, and that almost was an embarrassment. So I went out with Mandeep Dhillon. Do you know Mandeep? Yeah. And a mate of hers,

who's also a very talented actor as well, Andrea. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't know. I'm going into details about who it was. But I'd never met her before. But, you know, obviously I know Mandeep quite well. Went out with them in L.A living out there and, um, they were on such a vibe and I wasn't cause I sort of jet lagged after about an hour.

Oh God. It's so embarrassing. Right. I just went, am I, am I being all right on this evening? Like it's, it's so tragic. And tragic and then they went yeah of course you are of course you and then i thought what else would they say like what else would they say in that scenario do you mean what they're going to go you actually to be honest with you we were having quite a nice time we've added you to the equation and you fucking ruined it so we're trying to look to

wrap this up i have a thing like I can be out on a night out and it's so mad. I'll be on a night out sometimes and I'll be out with friends and everything seems to be going well. I seem to be enjoying it.

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. And then I'll have a moment, I'll say something or act in a certain way that will make me question like, oh,

that was a bit of a weird thing to say. Oh, that was a bit of a weird thing to do. Mate, I cannot tell you how much I relate to this. and then i think you've just become the worst thing about this evening yeah you should just go home like i genuinely i reckon i've met and then i feel so

sort of conscious about saying or doing anything else that evening so i just like end up getting growing so going really if it's a group of people i sort of go in my shell a bit and i'll just be a bit like i've realized recently more and more i've been talking about how often i will be in a situation where i like whether it's on a whatsapp group or whether it's in reality or whatever where i get into a situation where i'm like i don't think anyone in this situation likes me. Oh, God. And I don't think I should be here. Tom, you are totally speaking my language. And also, the other thing is, so I have that, right? I went out a few nights while I was away.

Like, not large ones, but I went out gigging and I went out for a couple of drinks with friends and stuff like that. I cannot have a night out without WhatsAppping or texting the people I was with to say either the next morning or as soon as i get in was i okay can i just do a paranoia check was i all right tonight what is going on what the fuck is the fact you asked that though i don't i just go into my head and then i sort of avoid any contact with those people for a while it sort of makes it worse because you sort of realize after you've asked that,

you're asking that for reassurance, but what can they say? Like, nobody's going to go, yeah, you're a disaster. I,

I, I had it, I mean, I'll text you afterwards, I had a mid-gig on the other night. Like, I'm like yourself,

I've been like, fucking madness of like these, doing these 21, 22 hour days of like filming, press, gig gigging trying to you know have some family time amongst all that and try you know you know when you're like oh

this is oh this is when i when you spoke to me about burnt out yeah got into this week and i'm like i genuinely feel fucking like this is it now i'm actually like getting to a point where i can't even think what funny is it's a horrible thing i. And I was gigging and Friday I was like, okay, you've only got to get this gig out of the way. You know, I literally had an anxiety attack before I went on stage of like, what am I doing?

I couldn't get it to go through my head. I was like, literally, I was like, relaxed. Do you know what I mean? And by the time I got on stage, I was like,

right, just enjoy it, which I've enjoyed all of this work in progress. And I got on stage and as I was talking, I made a joke and then someone in the audience, and I know they were only joking, but they were like, oh, can we get a refund? And in my head, I was like, oh, you're doing so badly here.

And I don't think I was doing that badly up to then, but in the back of my mind, I was like, no one in this audience wants to be here now. None of them. They literally, they're sitting through this and they're being polite, but they just all want to go home.

And then I could feel that transferring into my energy. It was one person, and I don't even bear them any, because I made a joke, and I'm sure that was a joke that they meant. I don't hope it wasn't fucking real, but it literally transferred. And because usually in my mental state,

if I'm feeling mentally strong, that'd be water for the duck's back. Because I felt this anxious sort of fear throughout me. For the rest of that gig, I just, all I can picture is everyone there. You know when you can't see a lot of the audience sometimes? Yeah, yeah.

They're all just looking at each other going, how fucking, what time is it? How long has he got to do? Mate. And I felt like I was having to object. I felt like a lot in the audience sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all just looking at each other going, how fucking, what time is it? How long has he got to do? Mate. And I felt like I was having to object. I felt like a kid at a party who's gone, I've made a play for everyone to watch.

Everyone, okay, we'll watch it and hopefully they'll get bored of it after a while. It was just such a horrible feeling, man. Yeah, I had that even when I was away. Like, if any of the production were talking to each other, I think to myself, they're talking about how bad you are at this. Oh God,

they're probably having a crisis meeting. They're probably going to fly someone else out to replace you. Oh mate, it's, what is that? It's horrific. It's all I've had. I've been filming a thing,

and like, it's one of the loveliest sets I've ever been on, amongst some of the nicest people I've ever worked with. All I can think every day that I go on set is like, everyone here is so much better at doing this than I am. I can't think of anything I've ever done in my life where I haven't felt the worst at it. No.

I mean that. That isn't me being dramatic or some faux thing. It's a constant. It's a constant fucking thing of like everything. You're like, oh, you'll see someone do better. And you're like, I wonder how people, like how you get to a place where you go, that's all right, that's pretty cool, that's all right.

And it translates into every fatherhood, husband, husband, friend, constantly question. The dilemma I have is like, so I had a while ago i was i had that like i had almost a panic attack not a panic attack but i had like a moment during a gig where i just thought you can't do this and i was like midway through a gig and like midway through the set and i was like you can't do this this is like shit and even though they were laughing i was like they're laughing but this is crap stuff you're doing here this is like really bad and this is the thing you're this is the thing you're supposed to be doing you're not even having a go at something here this is what you're supposed to be good at

and it's crap this is what was happening in my head and like i don't think i had a bad gig but i couldn't engage with how the gig was going because i just thought even if they were like even if i got a round of applause i'd just just be like, oh, that's shit. They're just applauding shit now. So, and then, like, I walked off and then immediately thought I need to sort myself out here because this is bad. I can't do gigs like this. But then there's the other part of you that thinks, maybe this is what I'm supposed to be like

in order to even be the standard I'm at. Do you know what I mean? Like, you go, if I suddenly got myself sorted out, got myself to be the standard I'm at. Do you know what I mean? Like you go, if I suddenly got myself sorted out, got myself to a place where I'd go and do a gig and I feel totally comfortable, go and do a bit of filming and I feel totally comfortable. Yeah. Maybe I won't be good at it.

I mean, like right now, maybe it's okay to be all right at something, but think you're terrible. And that drives you to try and be better. Maybe that's the better option than being happy but being shit. Maybe that'll make you shit.

Do you know what I mean? Maybe you sort of turn up, you do an absolute bang average job and you walk off feeling good about yourself. I mean, you'd be happier mentally. Yeah, but it is that thing, isn't it, of like, I'd like that in some elements of my life. Where you're like, you know, I sort of, I try to read as much as I can

about, like, sort of that, having that positive state of mind. Like, for example, like, I started listening to Matthew McConaughey's book and Matthew McConaughey talking about stuff. And whilst I really respect Matthew McConaughey and whilst I really, really like Matthew McConaughey as an actor, there's a part of me that when I listen to him

and he's got it all so together, like, some of the shit he's done in his life, even when he hasn't, like, you know,

it feels like he's, even his lowest moments were fucking designed for his highest moments. Do you know what I mean? He doesn't feel like, you know, there's a part of me

that thinks, you know who should release a fucking self-help book Sean Williamson explain to me why because he's

been through the mix he's fucking had the shit kicked out of him he's had it fucking tough but you know what whenever

I've met Sean he's fucking lovely he's endearing he always asks how you are he's always caring everyone took the

piss out of him he was fucking awful to watch right and you know what he did he didn't fucking bleat the piss out of him he was fucking awful to watch right and you know what he did he didn't fucking bleat on and cry about it he turned it into

his own advantage whenever I see Sean Williamson on fucking TV makes me happy because he seems happy he'll go and bang out a fucking

a number at the darts or the bowls or whatever he does and he'll sing like you know the stat song he sings or it'll come up a league and he'll sing and it just always feels like you know what I the stat song he sings or it'll come up a league and he'll sing and he

just always feels like you know what i'm happy to be in the mix even if it's the smallest bit when he's done league and he's just sang on it he feels like i know that i'm not the big part here i know that i'm not the big i am but i'm fucking happy to be here and it's good to be working and i look at sean williams so i think if i was to listen to him do a self-help book how did you get to that point sean how did you get to that point, Sean? How did you get to a point where you fucking had that school of thought? That's what I want to know. Look, Matthew McConaughey's amazing, but he's got a six-pack

and arguably he's one of my fucking top ten most handsome people on the planet. That's what I think Sean should do. Some really nice things. I described that synopsis as potentially a minefield in terms of a listen for Sean. But, um,

if somebody doesn't edit for him, I think you'd be quite pleased to hear all that. Well, hopefully JT could do that. So it sounds quite sweet. All right. Should we do some emails, my guy?

Oh, can I just say one thing I did do that was cool while you were away? I'd love, I'd love you to do that. Yeah. Go on. Uh, mate,

taxi bike, the motorbikes yeah i went on one of those yeah into the one show because i had to be somewhere very quickly nice and how was the experience i would say one of the best things i've ever done i was terrified one of the best things you've ever done in your life i had anxiety all day about it yeah i was terrified uh someone phoned me one of um one of the gang that works with us said, oh, Ramesh was terrified when he did it. And I was like, well, actually,

my level of bravery is where Roms is. And I was then like, and you've done some fucking pretty hardcore stuff in your life. So I was there then like absolutely, I put so much anxiety. But honestly, the guy, number one, shout out to the guy, he was incredible.

Lovely man, Kenny. Got on the back of the bike with him i was so worried as well about the weight thing i went am i gonna be okay on this and he went oh you think you're the biggest i've ever had on this bank and then i got on and he was like he made a joke out of that and then honestly for the i was on the back of it for 45 minutes thrilling going through london and i've got to say i loved every minute of it yeah you can't look at your phone no you're completely like in your own headspace you're chatting to the driver and you're just looking around london how much of the time i spend when i'm in the back of a car or a train just sat on my phone but it's like oh you look up you're looking around and you're just watching how beautiful this the city is.

Honestly, one of the best experiences. I became nervous when I did it. I've done it a few times now. It's like when you're, they get them when, like, you're pushed for time between two things, right? And so, like, it's just faster than a car. But I became nervous about hugging him too much. And also...

Then you hold the back pieces. Well, I did the second time, the first time I hugging him too much. And also... Didn't you hold the back pieces? Well, I did the second time. The first time I saw him. Yeah. And also my... I didn't even cross my mind to hold him. No. I don't know whether since you've done it

and you hugged them so tight, there's a new protocol now. I imagine they probably put signs on their backs now saying, please do not hug, after my experience. And the the other thing did you ask to hug him or did he say to hug you well how did it i can't remember who initially gave consent but i can't i can't tell you the other thing i got nervous about was when i wasn't hugging that my thighs would were squeezing too hard on him do you know what i mean because I sort of yeah I get that you know when he leans into the turns or whatever

I sort of yeah did you lean with him or well he told me to well asked me to he said to me not to in the end

because he was like it's better that you stay if you lean too much if you lean too much we're not coming back up

basically yeah I found Harry's just going through like Soho and the west and oxford street where buses and bikes are just coming out in front of you that's pretty scary the bit i found harris was sort of the back of his neck as i rested my head against him i love you rob you're the funny **** you are. All right, shall we do some more?

Don't miss a trick there. That was brilliant. Every time I think spiritually, I've found someone I just want in my life for eternity. You just say something like that, and my heart's always full of you, but when just say something like that and I just my respect my heart's always full of you but when you say something like that I just think

that's yeah you're a funny motherfucker on the track Nathan thanks mate you too two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them

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Okay. okay uh this says this email says dear al wolf and inquisitive swan this is from inquisitively the batted it's the batty inquisitive swan i think out of all of us the swans the least inquisitive yeah yeah certainly yeah definitely the least inquisitive with regards to this podcast um by the way a bit of an issue with lisa can we talk about yeah so she listens to this podcast uh i guess for work because she's got to choose emails right but she says she likes it i mean she loves you as you know every time i've got in the car the last 10 occasions she's had parenting hell on right yeah right okay i've asked her outright which one do you prefer because you know yeah and she said obviously i love the wolf for now i like parenting hell but i love the war for now so right anyway theo has since reported to me he's

never heard her listen to the war for now he's only ever heard parenting hell in the car whenever he's gone so i guess lisa if you want to email in you can select it for inclusion in the thing but i'd love to hear from you with regards to what's your actual genuine take on parenting hell versus wolf for now please uh you know I'm going to just say this yeah of all the podcasts to go toe-to-toe with that's the one I feel least

comfortable yeah same same same literally any other two guys that we love

and adore but also it's essentially this is that is like any boxer getting into the ring with Tyson

Fury yeah we're like we're like a bloke outside of Weatherspoons just offering Lomachenko out

or something like that. Yeah, if I'm going to, you know who we are? Who? And I hope you

don't get upset by this. I feel we're a bit like Arsenal. I feel like there's times when we think we can win. Why have you done

this? Why have you done this? You know, hold on, hold on, hold on. You're a football

fan. You know you are. I'm a massive football fan. Yeah, and you know you've received texts from me, particularly during the West Ham game, saying things like... Which I felt bad about. Yeah, saying things like,

I can't believe this is happening. Also, by the way, I should say, I've got an absolute fucking kick in for my comments about West Ham. What, because you cared more about your fantasy team? Yeah, look, I need to qualify. I still very much adore and love West Ham. I do find that there's a disengagement

and has been for some time between the club and its fans. I don't care who you are. No, I think there's a disengagement there. I think there's a, like, this is no slight against the players, it's no slight against the manager or whatever, but I do think there's been a disengagement there for some time. I think that as a club, it's no slight against the manager or whatever, but I do think there's been a disengagement there for some time. I think that

as a club, it feels at times it's, yeah, for one reason or another it just feels it's lacking a certain something that I think Arsenal, that City, that, you know, and I don't think, I think maybe that actually is a genuine thing, that there's

clubs that you look at, Liverpool, Arsenal, I think Tottenham's fans feel quite similar, I think Chelsea fans certainly feel

very similar to that. I think football and the money situation and how it's run now

isn't at times a football that I loved. You're really going into one to explain.

No, I got quite a lot of hardcore sort of, oh, fuck it. Yeah.

I still watch every West Ham game. I can't get to as many as I'd like to. Yeah. But I know, look, if anybody, I can testify that Tom is a hardcore hammer. I mean,

like you are, you are properly into it. Oh yeah. I love it. I love West Ham. Like I sat yesterday watching us versus Palace and fucking, I thought it was a brilliant game. But my, my thought of Arsenal, by the way, wasn fucking, I thought it was a brilliant game.

But my thought of Arsenal, by the way, wasn't, I feel for any Arsenal fan and I feel for football in general because I actually think Arsenal, if they'd won the league this season, would have been an amazing thing for the Premier League. My worry is that City, you know, this isn't a football podcast, maybe we should do one separately,

but City now are a beast of a thing. Yeah, they've got like, it's, yeah, it was so good. It was tragic to watch on a basis that you looked, when you played them,

and how phenomenal their bench was, and this is no slug, you had, you've got so many injuries now, you don't feel like you've got adequate people coming in to replace the people that are injured. And it was hard to watch. Yeah. I actually really thought once Trossard and,

anyway, this is, and Reece Nelson, what's his name, came on. Reece Nelson, the other, Leonard. Yeah,

Reece Nelson, yeah. Reece Nelson came on, I actually thought, yeah, you were good. But anyway. Anyway,

it's a very, a very unfortunate time for you to bring that up. Yeah, but my point was this, is that there are significant man cities and very strong other squads within the podcast arena. Yeah.

If we ever think that, we very much are. Yeah, I don't think, basically what you're saying is, Romesh, don't go toe-to-toe with the podcast and just finish the stadium tour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I understand.

So anyway, Lisa, if you'd like to reply, it's wolfalpod at gmail.com let me know what your actual honest take is on that anyway dear al wolf and the inquisitive swan this is the bat-eared fox and it's 1am and i'm on the vomit comet train from london to essex uh i started off this morning leaving the house at 8am to work as left as i left i promised my wife that i'd be home at normal time which is around 6pm

however things escalated quickly at around 1pm when people from work joined our lunch meeting in the pub welcoming the new starters in the office now I had every intention of going home as per my commitment but banter and the conversation flowed and now it's 8pm and I receive a text from my wife asking where am I? but I know she knows where I am

as we have track my iPhone enabled on phones as a family of five kids. So now I can't make up. An excuse of a late conference call with the States as I'm clearly in the King's arms. So now leaving the pub and the team in the pub, I'm now thinking on the train home. And as an adult and a father of five children, do I talk to my wife and ask her to remember tracking on my phone? Do I accept that as a family, for for safety reasons we should all track each other see we know where we all are god this is an interesting one isn't it i should say my kids range from 20 to 13 in age yours inquisitively the bat-eared fox so it's a couple of issues

folded into this uh yeah email tom aren't there uh would you like to unpick them for us i think firstly if you start drinking like Catherine made a really good point to me once like I remember I used to be

really really bad for that lunchtime drinking that would then slip into the evening that then slipped into the night and before I knew it

I'd be on a train at nine ten o'clock yeah that night coming home and Catherine would be what more can happen like if you've been drinking for

six hours in a pub like what are you chasing after six hours and i used to be oh no no it's banter it's a laugh and it's that you guys i used to love you know and but when i look back now i think the actual joyous part of it and we'll go back to social anxiety, was more that I didn't want to be the person to leave than how much I was actually enjoying the evening and the night. Like the actual thing of being like, I don't want to be the first person. Because when new people would arrive within the mix and then you'd go, oh, I'm off, you'd always, you know, that fucking bloke-ish banter, and you'd always think,

oh, actually, I'll just stay for a bit. And actually, when Catherine first sort of mentioned that and we she sort of chatted we chat about and i think i actually don't ever really enjoy the there's a certain time where you know within the night you're like well actually this is now i'm at a point in my life when i feel that feeling i'm like see you later regardless and i'll go i don't feel the need to stay and be one of the last people there who's in fucking traipsing around looking for a late drink I sort of yeah I think I think there's more of a problem like not a problem but I think there's a situation with your wife and I don't know the ins and outs of it but if you've got five kids that range from that

age to that age there's a lot on your wife's plate. One thing I'm finding out more and more as being a new parent is quite how much you need to be, you know, to make yourself around as much as you can because how difficult it is and actually how to try and be as sensitive as you can for your partner who's at home quite a lot with the child or children and try and at least sometimes be like, you know what, you get out and do something.

And I think if you're working, that's fine. And I think if you're grafting, that's always something that everyone can understand and everyone can, but if it slips into a place where you're like, well, actually just, you know,

we're just getting pissed and you think, well, I've been at home, I've had to do this. I've said, you know, whatever. I think that there's a,

there's a school of thought that she, this is probably her, you know, one thing we talk about in therapy isn't sometimes the thing that she's mentioning, which is the, you know, the check into the phone, where are you? It's more of a question of her being seen and maybe you're not noticing it. She needs to sort of be seeing herself,

I think would be my advice. So while saying that, I don't think it's necessarily healthy to, I think it's certainly like, again, as a new parent, I want to track or know where Grace is, but I don't feel that with Catherine. I don't feel that.

I certainly hope that she doesn't feel that as well. I won't ever track her phone. Or if Catherine asked me where I am, I'd be honest and transparent. I think if I asked her, she'd be the same. I don't feel the as well i won't ever track her phone or if i ask if katherine asked me where i am i'll be honest and transparent i think if i asked her she'd be the same i don't feel the need to go where are you know what i've trapped you in your you're not in waitrose you're in boots you know you know you said you're at the crown but you're here i think so yeah that would be my school of thought there but um yeah i think maybe it's time to sort of open your eyes see the lady in the house wow um yeah i don't understand the tracking the phone thing uh i sort of i mean i would say the timing of it for you to ask now to have your tracking removed after you've been on a night out

an unexpected night it's probably a bad one but But I can't imagine wanting to track Lisa's phone and I can't imagine she'd ever want to track mine. So I think maybe you knock that on the head. With regards to going out on the drinks, I feel like, you know, I've been guilty of this in the past, of like, particularly the jobs that Tom and I do. It can, you know, you sort of like, you're due to finish work and then somebody goes, do you want to have a quick drink in the green room

or whatever, or you meet people you haven't seen for a while, like comics or whatever, and it ends up getting a bit, not out of hand as an exaggeration, but like you'd end up staying later. I, my biggest lack of consideration is telling lisa that i would say like you know she's pretty laid back when it comes to things like that but i am guilty of assuming she knows like i'm not assuming she knows i just forget so like i'll say i'm going to be back at a certain time and i'm not i'll get back like three four hours later whatever whatever happens i'm gonna have to give examples and it's just inconsiderate it's the truth of it i mean

it's just inconsiderate if somebody's expecting you back at a certain time like because they're then thinking what's happened or they might be arranging something like you know you've said you're gonna be back at a certain time and that she's thinking i'm gonna jump on the peloton or what i don't know what other middle class thing i can think of but you know what i mean like you you know people are planning their days around people come in and out especially if she's been with the kids all day so i just think it's a consideration thing and i think sometimes you know and i don't like generalizing but i will do in this instance men seem to resent being asked those kind of questions because it's a site it's they think it's symptomatic

symptomatic of the old ball and chain and you're on lockdown and you're not a free person and you're being restricted all of that is just bollocks i mean it's like i mean look that does happen but for the most part somebody just want somebody just wanting to be shown a bit of consideration. Do you know what I mean? Like, Lisa would never say to me, unless there was something on, you need to be home by this time. She would never get annoyed if I come home at whatever time.

What is annoying, and even then she doesn't express annoyance, but I can tell I've been out of order, is to say to somebody, you're going to be back at a certain time, and then you're just not. Do you know what I mean? I just think it's's like it's just sort of a courtesy thing really is a consider but i think it's consideration isn't it it's like for example it's bank holiday monday tomorrow

i'm gigging today i i had yesterday off but then i gigged all you know and then i i sort of was like oh i might go and play golf with the lads uh tomorrow and she's like i don't you want to spend any time with me and your daughter. And then I'm like, oh, actually, no, that's… Well played, Geoffrey. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, yeah, the guys I was going to play the golf with will know this now, but, yeah, I'm not playing two days ago.

Okay. Well, it's good for them to find out. Lisa won't hear any of that because unless it's uh clipped up and put on parents now uh okay thank you so much uh batted fox hello you sweet sweet souls uh this is from the happy gibbon uh i need some relationship advice you can call me the happy gibbon okay uh I went on a date last night and things initially went well. She, the pretty peacock, and I have found that we have many things in common, found ourselves really getting on.

However, we decided to see a movie, a horror movie together, something that the Happy Gibbon was not so happy about, but didn't want to say no to the pretty peacock's recommendations. However, about halfway through the movie, I felt rather sick due to the horror and gore, where she wanted to say and watch it on her own. As we're adults, we found this okay. As I left and waited for it to come out, I felt rather sick due to the horror and gore where she wanted to say and watch it on her own as we're adults we found this okay as i left and waited for it to come out i felt rather embarrassed i had to leave despite the pretty peacock saying she thinks it's okay my

question for you sweet souls is have you ever felt embarrassed for something that's completely normal we've already spoken about a horrorless second date so things get too bad but i still feel embarrassed nonetheless from the happy given. Tom Davis. Yeah, I've felt this embarrassment on numerous occasions and numerous different arenas of dating that go from not having enough money to go on dates to horribly... I've done this very thing. I did it, I think, with...

What's it called? What's the one where there's a big plane crash? I can't remember the film. I can't remember the film. It was like there was a, no, no, there was like, I tried to get into a life and I was like too young and they didn't let us in. I got in, but my teammates didn't,

so I had to go and watch Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves or some shit. Anyway, which was good because I knew all the Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves off by heart at the time. Yeah, well yeah um i used to know every word of that movie off by heart you know um you don't look as in impressed as i thought you would um i don't know how impressed you thought i was going to look but uh sorry if it's uh coming under expectations if it comes on now i'll still try and sort of you know i and catherine will watch and i'll still well the sad thing is i used to be like that about the animated transformers movie um yeah because i think i've talked to you which is somehow i've managed to say something even

less cool than what you just did so um what is the it's basically that yeah there's this there's these films that everyone who survived the plane crash i I think, ends up getting killed in an awful way. Yes. So I went and watched that, and that freaked me out quite a lot. So, yeah, I've been on many... To be fair, the person you've been out with seems really, really understanding. Yeah, quite sweet. Very, very sweet in themselves. And sort of in my head, I'm like,

I actually admire you because you got up and left. I sat through the whole film and was probably the worst company ever. I had nothing funny or interesting to say. I just sat there in absolute terror. But where did you wait? Would you wait out in the lobby of the hotel? Sorry, the hotel or the cinema?

I don't know. This is an email, Tom, so we're not going to get a response, I'm afraid. We'll just have to work with the information that we've got. Yeah, I just think, what do you do? Do you just go and get some more popcorn and sit in the foyer and just sort of wait for them to come out? Yeah, I guess so. Again, I can't.

Yeah, we're over there. But they went home anyway, right? Because they were so embarrassed. No, no, no, no, no. They waited outside. Oh, okay. They waited for it to come out. Yeah. I mean, I think, again, no, no. They waited outside. Oh, okay. They waited for it to come out. Yeah.

I mean, I think, again, that's pretty... I actually think that people respect you more for that than... It's a good standard to set for your relationship. It's like, I don't feel comfortable doing this, but I also don't want to stop you from doing it, so you do this thing that you enjoy, and I'll sit on the subs bench. Yeah.

So I actually sort of respect both of you for how open minded and if I'm honest with you I hope this relationship grows, I hope it fluctuates and I hope within the next few years Do you mean flourishes or do you actually want it to fluctuate? What's fluctuate mean? Fluctuate sort of up and down and you're sort of a bit

rocky. Oh no no no I mean flourishes then. I mean naturally as most relationships yeah it will fluctuate and actually i hope for the times it fluctuates and those rocky times hit you both cast your mind back to that second date where you went to a cinema and both of you went will you have your space and i'll have mine you do the thing that you enjoy and i'll go and chill and do the thing that i don't really enjoy but i get enjoyment for knowing that you're enjoying yourself so know that you always had that understanding be strong be true

and keep doing you guys uh yeah uh i would say there's a number of embarrassing things that have happened to me uh uh the running out of money on a date thing has happened to me so many times where i've like yeah it's awful we've done we done the first thing, and then it's gone quite well. And then they suggest going on somewhere else for a drink afterwards. And then you walk up to the cash point. Oh, God. So horrible. There's nothing in there.

How do I make... Oh, fucking hell, someone's hacked my bank. Oh. Oh, God, that's so horrible. It's so horrible. oh fucking hell I was hacked my bank oh it's so horrible knowing that you've got a tenner in there and you've got three days left before you get paid again we should do this again in

let me just check the date, four days and then I'll be able to date you for that first week and then I'll be broke again for the rest of the month obviously it's weird for you to come and chill at my mom and dad's house oh by the way i'm still living at home and i'm 33 and also they'll be furious about you being there that's the other thing um i uh i uh i actually think uh this is very sweet it's a very sweet story you know you you left and waited outside uh she came out and it sort of worries me the thing that i sort of think is maybe

because that could have given her the ick you know the ick is a is it is a bad thing it by the way you can go fuck it it's a term i totally i can't be fucking i have challenged it does my head in i've challenged i don't mind if 17 18 year olds say it that's fine when i hear someone of my age say it i'm like yeah but it's a thing shut up it's not yeah but it was do you know what we cope for fucking generation after generation without the word ick and it's you really say it's a thing it's like use a better descriptive word than ick like a friend of katherine said it the other day and i'm like oh god why are people using this word well the reason i find it

difficult is you can do like a single thing and negate all the hard you know like all of the trying to be attractive not trying to be attractive but you know all of the battles of wooing somebody and then you might eat a sandwich in a weird way and then it's over yeah or wear a pair of shoes that they don't like yeah it's quite a terrifying place to be isn't it and i can imagine that somebody going oh i was out on a date with this guy and midway through the horror film we said he's feeling queasy and so he'd step outside because it was too gory that gave me the ick um so yeah so i'd say you know this sounds very very promising good luck to you um i'm pretty sure i've given the exit anyway we we can do a nick episode if you like but yeah

i've given it to more i've i've i've many icks yeah i am yeah i've i'm rich many boxes i'm ick rich that's how i describe myself yeah yeah i'd say that me and you, between ourselves, if you went from head to toe, we've got at least a thousand icks within each of us. We are the Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk of ick. We are the richest in ick men on the planet. The ick brothers. We're so fucking icky that we could be handing out blue X

yeah very good I've got to I've got to go and watch Charlie play football so we've got how's he getting on by the way he's in the cup final today

so wow I'm very excited wow that's amazing that's a big moment what are you wearing what are you going to wear

I like that top you've got on now what's it from this is the Jordan hoodie really nice I'm just going to wear this I think put a jacket on some trainers

we're good to go Tom could you take us out please yo nature what is nature it's the buds

of a tree that open into a flower or stroke leaf it's a butterfly clapping its wings knowing that not so long ago it's a caterpillar just staring up at the sky thinking that seems beneath even my wildest dreams or above them it is a cat meowing and gently licking some milk from a bowl that its owner has given it. It's a dog sprinting through a stick that someone's thrown it. Nature in its very self is still the groundwork of the most masterful invention ever. But can I say this? You yourself are nature, born and bred not to be a tree or a caterpillar or a butterfly.

But you are a living, breathing morsel that deserves the same respect as all the other stuff around you. So next time you look at a flower that's just bloomed and smells nice and delicious, think, I too am blooming. I too have grown. Always know this. It's not just trees that grow strong and bold. It's humans too. Be tree-like within your stature, but fruity and beautiful,

like a flower. So, thank you. Okay, that was lovely. Really nice. Really nice. Really nice. Yeah. Thank you so much for listening guys. I'm going to play out a pop, a place that with a pop anthem that I sort of, cause I've just been listening, you know, every now and again, like there's songs like Katy Perry's firework and stuff like that.

But yeah, but this is that that's, this is my potion. That's my medicine. Do you want to hear that? Cause I was going to suggest, no, no, no, no, no, no. There's a song I've been listening to. that as this is my potion. That's my medicine. Do you hear that because I was gonna suggest no No, no, no. No, no. There's a song I've been listening to I had this in the ground that went good at the ground on Have you? Carly Simon Let the river flow Beautiful song. Okay, let's for Tom day. Let's play us out with that song Carly Simon let the river flow. Is that what it's called? I think it's good there

Okay. Well JT if you can find something like that, it might be Carly Simon. It might be Carly Simon, Let the River Flow. Is that what it's called? I think it's called that. Okay. Well, JT, if you can find something like that, it might be Carly Simon, it might be Carly Rae Jepsen. We don't know at this point. But if you just... It is.

It's Carly Simon. Yeah. And it's a beautiful, beautiful song. And I encourage anyone who's listening to it to today go, Let the River Run,

it's called. I'd say, if you're feeling a bit down, if you're feeling a bit blue, stick this on and literally let your walk of gloom turn into a sprint of admiration. Great. Okay, well, look, let's play ourselves out with that.

Tom, thank you. I don't want to thank you, Nick. Thank you. No, no, thank you, actually. And let me say this. I have missed you with all my soul. I've missed you too. You know what?

I feel a little bit giddy, because next week we get to spend, like, three days together in the voice booth. I'm very excited. Yeah. All right, cool, guys. Thank you so much for listening. Take care.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Stand on a star and blaze a trail of desire Through the darkly dawn If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.

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