Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 46: BAFTA The Future

Episode Date: May 17, 2023

We’re talking… big openers, a BAFTA de-brief, chat-show anecdotes, afterparty invites, Crawley droughts, the brilliance of Back To The Future, being a shoulder double and pilot flops. Then, after a quick sing-song and some nursery grime anxiety, we answer emails on looking like a pig, rat or horse, six inch alterations and using other people’s catchphrases. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List- https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back! Roll your way into prizes like coffee, donuts, and even $60 Tim's gift cards! Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply, Canada only, no purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. The body parts get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler

Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping

impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh wolf and owl inside your noggin wolf and and Owl got gone. Run, tell your friend. Nathan and Tom Davis. Hey! Hey, hey, hey. My guy. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl, you little fucking pricks.

Wow, that's a big start. Up to our usual tricks. Wolf and Owl up in your grill. Man. Wolf and Owl. We got no time for chill. It's the Wolf and Owl. I can't believe. Up in your fucking face piece. What? You are getting some wear out of that tuxedo, bro. We got no time for chill. It's the Wolf and Al. I can't believe. Up in your fucking face

piece. What? You are getting some wear out of that tuxedo, bro. Wearing it again on the podcast. You're having to take it off since the BAFTAs. How are... I hope you're well, everybody. Wolf now. What's wrong with me? How long am I going to do this intro for? You've become very very

is this an audition for this morning I think it might be coming into it so later on we show you how to make six different meals only using carrots

and at ten past eleven we've got a fashion item how to dress for fifteen pounds you'll hate all the outfits, but we'll pretend we love them. Then we have Richard Arnold coming in to say why turn-ups are back. And that's turn-ups, not turn-ips.

Yeah. Mate, I think I should kick this off by giving and I hope everyone listens to this. Just do a little round of applause for my guy, Romesh Ranganathan, for taking down the house of the BAFTAs. Wow.

Amazing stuff to see, Maju. It was a beautiful moment. You looked, by the way, we talked about this before we came on. My guy, if Barbara Broccoli was watching,

I'm like, there's a world of Romesh. Yeah. If I wanted to close this franchise out in the most hideous way, that could be the guy. Well, I've got to say, a couple of people came up to me and said, nice to see you didn't go with the trainers. So there's some Wolf and Al fans at the BAFTAs.

Yeah. I went for a very smart shoe. What I would say is... What was it? What mate was the shoe, if you don't mind me asking? That was Hugo Boss. Oh! Oh. You know... A nice shiny... It was a was the shoe, if you don't mind me asking? That was Hugo Boss. Oh! You know...

It was a very shiny shoe, wasn't it? Yeah, arguably too shiny, do you think? No, I thought it was nice. For the BAFTAs, fine. Would you wear that? If I saw you wearing that with a pair of jeans, I'd arguably call our friendship off. I'd say time is net.

Hopefully you'd beat the fuck out of me. It would be if you're a true friend with one of those shiny shoes yeah just he's got he's dead we don't know how it happened but he's got polish all over his face no just be turned around the policeman and go i don't know what's that oh look at this huge in combo i think we have a motive here, Captain. Yeah, we're going to have to say, yeah. BAFTAs, it was fun. It was very fun doing it with Rob.

Oh, brilliant. I genuinely thought it had a nice vibe to it, man. I thought it was a very, it was one of my favourite versions of the BAFTAs for a while. I think they'd been looking around. It's a little bit like, it's been a little bit,

you know, like since Graham Norton stepped down, it's been a little bit like, in a sense, Arsenal, they've been trying to find the right person to take the club forward. And I thought that this... Yeah, I'm thinking like... You certainly were the Emery.

Yeah, thank you. Good evening. Welcome to the BAFTAs. This is them taking it less classy. Two things happened. Well, there's the awards. The awards themselves are fine. 30 seconds before i came on

i wasn't nervous at all while jacks jones was performing and we're about to walk on i got the driest mouth oh it's the worst you could possibly imagine it was crazy i said to rob are you feeling a bit and he went yeah i am actually so we had to like just we actually necked while jack jones was going we were hydrating well to kick we went two tequilas one water and then a gin uh just very quickly but um and then afterwards i would just the dinner it was like you know a lot of people came up and said lots of nice things um but i would describe that experience as anxiety fuel yeah that was i find those things tricky uh the swan came along uh by the way i've seen a picture this one looks absolutely radiant looks stunning yeah she looked great but she um

she doesn't she gets not i wouldn't say she gets nervous not her thing really but she wanted to she wanted to come and support uh but when we finished the awards we had a cut like a drink in the dressing room and then walked into the they do a big meal i don't know if i'm telling people stuff they already know but everybody that was attending or not everybody but loads of people that are attending get invited to this dinner afterwards any notable slip-offs i don't know i didn't know i don't think so uh most of the people that expect to be there were there, but the first walking into that dinner. Is like, uh, the closest I can imagine to sort of, you know, that dream where you walk into school assembly and you're naked.

Yeah. Yeah. I find all of those things are just like, it's like, oh, how do I make myself more anxious and make myself almost physically sick? Uh, midway through midway through the actual BAFTAs themselves the awards i realized that my flies had been undone but thankfully the jack the jacket uh covered that up trying to go for that sort of like sexy fucking old sort of 90s upskirt sort of vibe yeah yeah i was yeah i should have let i should have let the camera guys know that that was going on but um just lisa biting her lip per bottom lip in the sort of third row.

Just sort of seeing that. That's for me. It's given me a little close up on a close up on Romesh's wife. There seems to be very much enjoying things in a different level. Mr. Ranganathan's flies are undone. Um, but it is,

it's a weird thing. Isn't it? Those, those events when you sort of go, go backstage. And so like, or afterwards afterwards those sort of meals, just when you're forced to sort of have small talk with a load of people that either you idolise or are just so good at that sort of side of things.

Some people are born to do that small talk. It's incredible. I wonder if everybody feels like an outsider because we're wandering around like thinking we're the only ones that feel like that. But I wonder wonder if everybody feels like an outsider because we're wandering around like thinking we're the only ones that feel like that but i wonder if anybody actually feels like i could list you off a ream of people who don't feel outsiders ever yeah yeah maybe you can see it you can see it some people have bought and there's no there's no i don't any bad will but some people you watch and you're like oh shit they just got that shit down they're just so like

they're so born for that they're just so like they're so born for that they're just yeah and it's it's been installed at school they they were sort of like that they've literally throughout their whole life it's been one wave of just being able to just sort of yeah merge into a sort of yeah what i would say is uh my trousers you know i said you have to wear those trousers slightly higher than I'm used to. Made me slightly uncomfortable about taking the jacket off at the dinner, despite it being incredibly hot, because I just felt like I felt out of proportion.

You know, I'm used to my jeans being, my trousers being quite low. You like a low rise with sort of at least sort of a third of your ass hanging out, don't you? Yeah. You're like a low rise with sort of at least sort of a third of your ass hanging out, don't you? Yeah. There's either a callback to the last episode or you really have forgotten the shit. Like, this is exactly the same rinse as last time.

You're aware of that, aren't you? Yeah, I am. It's a callback. It's a sweet callback. How do you feel in a suit? Did you feel good, though? You look like a villain from sort of like a really cool fucking 90s movie. Like Alan Rickman vibes.

Yeah, it's very difficult to navigate my way through that compliment, if you can call it that. You look really good. You look like a 90s villain, sort of Alan Rickman vibe. So what you're saying is I look like the villain in Die Hard. Is that what you're saying well yeah you heard that about i thought you looked mate i i genuinely i was sitting on my own watching that you came on i was like my guy out loud yeah and to nothing just throw it out into the ether yeah thanks mate i felt it actually i mean i know it did go out two hours after we started i still felt it two hours after yeah yeah just just in the last i thought god i suddenly felt a boost

of confidence there this is you were tucking into your aubergine loin yeah it was what was it it was like a stuffed artichoke i think it was for the vegan main why don't you start vegan stuff like i just i don't get why stuff it with? Like, I just, I don't get why they stuff it with other, the vegetables on there, you should be able to do something amazing. Well, look, whether it tastes good or not, the problem that you've got is people taking the piss out of it. That, you know, like, people have got to think about it. It's like when you're naming a kid.

You know, you want to try and name, you give your kid a name that they're not going to get bullied for. Try and give people vegan dishes they're not going to get bullied for. That would be my request. Because somebody going, what's your main? You go stuffed artichoke. The root one joker.

So they've got a vegetable and they've stuffed it with some more vegetables. Sounds amazing. And you just go, oh, fuck it. Well, I have to defend this dish. I've got nothing to do with it. I didn't even know what it was before. You were like Jon Snow at that thing, right? You were like, it was your event.

You were a host. So people still... Who are you sitting with, by the way, if you don't mind me? You were like, it was your event, your host. So people still... Who are you sitting with, by the way, if you don't mind me? Lisa, Rob, Lou. Lisa, Rob, Lou, Flo from Off The Curb. Shout out, Flo. Danny from Off The Curb. I've said Flo from Off The Curb,

like I've never talked about it before. Anyway, Flo and Danny from Off The Curb. Yeah. And then Krish is the head of BAFTA. Oh, my guy Krish. Legend of the game. Yeah, he was on top four. Sweet, my guy Krish. Legend of the game. Yeah, he was on top four. Sweet, sweet soul.

Lost his phone for a little bit, which I was slightly concerned about. I mean, there's nothing worse than sort of, I had that happen to me at a Hip Hop Save My Life night once where I lost my phone. Then everybody has to stop and start looking for it. And even people that are nowhere near it and know they're not going to find it have to sort of,

you've got that social pressure, haven't you, of like the potential. What you've also got is when you find your phone inevitably you've got a story like you know lost my phone mate thought the old issue was over no we had eight tables looking for it but yeah as you found it in the end i'd left it on the yeah toilet i had a thing at an airport where i went back to i think i've told this story i went back to security and demand not demanded tell them i'd lost my passport which i had done and then after they all went hunting around for it discovered it in my bag uh which was did you not ideal did you turn to the people i wish i hadn't burned that story here i should use that on norton it was that good that's rubbish

so i understand you had a little bit of a incident when you were flying out recently yeah yeah god um am i going to say this on tv um shower oh fuck you how do you know about this how do you know about this was it because the researcher told you i believe that there's quite a funny story about you and a passport that we're missing. Well, that's the whole story, Graeme. Thank you. You sort of done the punchline and I didn't manage this.

So anyway, I lost the passport. And it's breathing for the whole day. Obviously, if you've not got your passport, it makes it slightly difficult to fly. Well, we know that rubbish, but get to the punchline, because Ryan Reynolds looks like he wants to hit you. So, yeah, basically, the passport was in my bag. Yeah, I heard this on the podcast. Yeah, anyway, I've really come over all tired all of a sudden.

Can you tell? No, no, no. Yesterday was a come over all tired all of a sudden. Can you tell? No, no, no. Yesterday was a nightmarish day for me. We got back fairly late. We didn't stay to the end. What time did you go to any of the after parties? No. Because it's become a thing, the after party now.

Yeah, I did not go. I realise how low my stock is when I never get invited to any of the after parties. Even the year I won, I wasn't allowed into any of the after parties. I realised what an outsider I am. Why did you throw one? You need to be the party. Stop trying to get invited.

Do you know how pathetic it would have been to fucking throw one and no one would have turned up? I would have been there. Because you didn't even come that year. That meant you'd have had to wait around for me to turn up after the meal. Having not got an invite to the actual BAFTAs. Mate, honestly,

I remember standing there with my actual statue on my own in a hotel and then just seeing on Instagram stories loads of people at after parties. And I was like, oh, this feels like school again. I can't break into that. Not that I want to, necessarily.

There's nothing wrong with it. I don't particularly want to break into it. But that I want to, necessarily. There's nothing wrong with it. I don't particularly want to break into it. But I'm just never going to be. It's weird, isn't it? Bearing in mind that comedy is for outsiders, to be an outsider in an industry full of outsiders, that is like inception level. That's inception level loser, isn't it?

Yeah. Oh, no, no. I feel that, yeah. I feel like i sometimes look at you either in front of me or just i look over my shoulder and see who out of us is really sort of looking to claim that out so i mean i think i'm there at the moment um i think yeah i i feel like that quite a lot i actually think it's not a bad feeling sometimes i think sometimes i sometimes to feel like that isn't a worse feeling. Well, that's handy because I feel like that all the time.

So yesterday, God, I can't even think about what I'm going to say. Yesterday, so anyway, we got back late from the thing. I wouldn't say drunk, tipsy, had a little kind of late night bit of toast. Oh, nice. Went to sleep, woke up in the morning no water in our area of crawley wow and that's when i realized how i'm one or two kind of comforts away from

going for lord of the flies because when i got told that it just felt like the worst i mean no running water is a big deal i suppose but it's only ever going to be for a few hours but did you have any bottled water in? We did have bottled water. They actually set up water stations in Crawley. And then, like, I just didn't want to turn up to a water station. No, that's not a good look for you. It's not good.

No, it's not. It's just I almost felt like it made it real then. Yeah, but also you are one of probably the top five to ten affluent people within Crawley, I'd imagine. I'd love to hear the others. Go on. Well, I don't know. I don't know them personally, but I'd say that you're a big hitter in Crawley. Yeah. Thanks, mate. I'm less of a big hitter than you'd think. Really?

Yeah. I'm a small fish in a small pond. And also, half the people in this town fucking hate me. I've talked about this before. Yeah, but one reason they'd hate you even more is if they saw you leaning about, sort of trying to be cool, going, where's this bloody free water going to come out? Do you know what the real wanker move would be? To turn up with a truck full of water to hand out.

Like an Instagram shit. Oh, that would be genius. That would be genius. Going door to door around your area. Hello, Romesh Rankin opening here. So we realise that we're running a little bit low on water, also running for Mayor of Crowley. Under my constituency, there'll never be any drought. Drought.

You really stepped it up with a stank on that impression. That's your political vibe. So, anyway, very relaxed day yesterday. I'm going into a lot of detail about what I've done recently. Watched that Jumanji film, the new one, the latest one with Kevin Hart and all that. Is there a rock in it? The rock's in it, yeah.

Is there a new one? Is it number three? There's like two of them. It's not that new. I think it's just dropped on Netflix. Kill me. Is it the second one? The second one, yeah.

It's amazing. It's like a two years old. Oh, God, yeah. No, you're right. It's like I'm watching... Sorry, it's just... But it was in colour, though, despite it coming out two years ago.

God, I'm such a fucking old fuck, aren't I? So I was watching... You tried to sound so cool when you said it. You're like, oh yeah, just kick back, watch Jumanji, the new one. It's not new, bro. Two years old. What, the newest one, I mean? Yeah.

Sorry, Edgelord. Tell me about the new films you've been watching. I watched it on Pirate for years ago. It was like a rough thing. There was no special effects. They had people in mo-caps doing the fucking crabs and that. That's how early I get on a movie. Oh, sorry, Mr. Cool.

Fuck you. Yes, I've seen this new movie the other day. I don't know if you've heard about it. Back to the Future. It's three of them. Three of them? I did actually, I did actually, fuck you. I did actually, fucking, I did actually watch that the other day again.

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Evil things of evil. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start out. Evil things of evil. It's all. No, no, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? It's the most terrifying. Six, six, six.

It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. Only theaters April 5th. year I think that

moment in Back to the Future where he pulls the top off that fruit cart the cart thing and turns it into a skateboard

and then he's like running away from Biff I just didn't I couldn't believe how cool that was I think there's moments in that, I couldn't believe how cool that was. I think there's moments in that movie.

I think that, you know, that's a 10 minute movie. Every 10 minutes is a moment. You go through like, it's one of those 90s films where like, you know, we don't need roads at the end.

The bit with Doc, you know, when it's like, they found me. I don't know how, but they found me. That's tune kicks in you're like yeah the punch yeah slightly politically incorrect that bit with the Libyan terrorists but yeah yeah yeah I mean you seem to have picked

out the only racially dodgy moment of the whole film of the whole trilogy I'd say there he goes fucking lacing up his boots to give me a good old kick in. There it is, polished him off. You'll fucking pay for that, Jumanji, remarked my friend. I'm going to store that and you're going to

feel the fire of my wrath later on in the podcast. Like a fly coming to my spider's web. That Back to the Future, did you watch that movies that made us on Netflix? No, I haven't seen that one. I won't say it's new because it came out like a year ago or something like that.

But it's like films from our childhood. They just talk about how they seem to get like Ghostbusters. Yeah, so the Back to the Future one, the heartbreaking thing about that is that somebody else was cast as Marty McFly. Who was it? Who was it? Oh, God, what was his name?

Oh, God. I can't remember, but he... Something Schultz, I think, maybe, or something. What's going on there? I've got a little baby who's come in. You all right? You OK? Daddy's doing his podcast.

Daddy's doing his podcast. Daddy's doing his podcast. Go at Grandad for a minute. There we go. It was Eric Stoltz. Oh, wow. So Eric Stoltz was in the movie for two weeks and they filmed

they shot, I think they shot the bit, you know when he first arrives in 1955, he walks across the square. I think you can watch it on YouTube, but basically he played it with the horror that you would experience if you woke up, if you suddenly ended up in 1955, you know, he didn't play it as a comedy. He played it real and it was a really effective performance. But to, you know, imagine that right. Two weeks into the film. I'm not even going to lie to you. I that right two weeks i'm not even gonna lie to you i feel sick

i know i just can't because like you and i like the number of times i've been involved in tv pilots where everybody's like celebrating they're getting the champagne out at the end of the thing and then it never gets commissioned right that's happened so many times yeah i mean i've been in shows and then gone and then turned up at a film and turned up to the premiere only to realise that my part has been substantially... I mean, look, if I'm going to be completely honest, like, everything I ever...

Even things I've written, I'm constantly waiting. I would say we're telling slightly different stories, Tom. I'm talking about a pilot that different stories Tom I'm talking about a pilot that's failed you're talking about going to a movie premiere and your part is smaller than you anticipated

Mate when I say it's smaller I'm saying I had about 9-10 pages of dialogue that have just resulted in going down to one and a half

and not actually any dialogue left Oh I had that in there's a film called Miss You Already with Drew Barrymore. Oh, wow. You didn't even say you were in that.

Well, I'm glad you asked that question, uh, Tom, because there's a scene in it where they go to a charity auction and I'm the compere of the charity auction. And they just said, Ron, just riff, just like riff and do some stuff. And I was doing it and I felt really good. People are laughing. Drew was like, you know, it was really good times came off everybody buzzing about it. Anyway, they cut all of my lines completely. And now if you watch that film, uh, you see me sort of hovering in the background, uh,

of one of the bits of dialogue. And so when that film came out, first, they were kind enough to send me a message about it, actually, which is above and beyond what they'd normally do. But they just said, look, you know, what you'd expect them to say. We're pushed for time,

and so we had to lose you a bit. But every now and again, I get a message from somebody saying, are you an extra in Michelle Reddy? I can just about up this, right? Early on in my, very early on in the infancy of my career, I get a call from my agent at the time and she's like, I might have a part

for you in a sitcom, right? Right. And I was like, wow. I'd been doing stand-up for a couple of years and I was like, fuck, this sounds, yeah, amazing. And she was like, have you watched Cuckoo before and i was like yeah greg davis um uh the kid from uh the werewolf kid from uh whatever it's called was in it uh what's the fucking film about werewolves and vampires and that shit back in the day yeah uh tom uh god he's from twilight twilight yeah

tyler um i don't know like fucking good yeah anyhow she's like i'm just getting information about it they just need to know are you around for a day maybe two filming i'm like fucking i've two days filming potentially that's fucking incredible yes of course i am so she's like right i'm just waiting for information about the part i literally at that point i've never really done any tv work i'm like fucking popping champagne. I'm fucking like calling my pals. Like, man, I'm about to, I've got a role in a fucking sitcom, right? I get a call back.

And she wasn't quite as sort of like cheery as she had been. She said, information has come about the role. It's not as big as we thought it was, but you're still needed if you're up for it. And I was like, cool, what's the part? And said well greg davis is filming um cuckoo but he's also filming in between us i think it's i think it was in between at the same time now they shot greg out

of this scene but they need someone of the similar size that they can film over the shoulder from so basically um someone saw you at a gig and you're the same sort of stature as Greg. So would you be able to film over the shoulders? Basically, you'll be playing creativity shoulders. And I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah. Will I be doing any of Greg's lines? Oh, no, no, you'll have a script. You'll be reading out Greg's lines.

But obviously, you won't. So I was like okay cool sweet and I think at that time I might I might have just done some little bits but anyhow

I sort of was a what I think was a proper performer I turned up and for the whole day or two I think it was there

for two days I was just known as Greg's shoulder guy to like you know even like Helen Blacksendale was like yeah it i was just known as greg shoulder guy to like you know even like um helen blackson down just been turning around going um oh greg shoulder guy can you just um turn around and when you're um

when you're just like greg would just say that line like this and and the director and the sort of dip were like i'm greg shoulder guy um can you just open up your right shoulder just a little bit um and then the other guy was like the american guy was um uh okay uh greg shoulder guy taylor taylor yeah yeah and then you know that thing and it's really muggy to do when you're in a situation like that you should just drink your medicine and you are just greg shoulder guy yeah take your medicine yeah yeah take your medicine drink it whatever i mean if you have medicine you'll be drinking it i'd imagine yeah no i know but it's just drinking suggests that you sort of you know i don't want to encourage kind of what cowpaw people yeah yeah just knocking it back like um

so he i then basically got to a place where my ego was getting absolutely pulverized that no one even bothered not getting to know my name i was just known as greg shoulder guy so I then basically got to a place where my ego was getting absolutely pulverised. No one even bothered getting to know my name. I was just known as Greg Shoulder Guy. So then I sort of tried to put a bit of stank on some of the lines, tried to be funny, got told off twice for overplaying Greg's lines. And then I sort of started telling people that I was also an actor. Oh, no.

And a stand-up. And Taylor Norton said probably the, probably, like, one of the most humbling things. I was like, yeah, he's like, do you do anything else apart from, like, do, like, sort of the double work for Greg? And I was like, I'm not Greg's stand-in on everything that Greg does. I was like, no, no, I said, I'm actually not going to stand up and then act as well.

And he went, I got to say, bro, seriously, you're great at like doing the whole shoulder thing. And I was like, what?

And he was like, you're really good at like, you know, conveying that energy that Greg has. You're so good at that. It's, you know,

it's so hard to get. He was trying to basically pick up a role that I might walk out. I mean, it's a nice thing. It's a nice thing of him to do. It was sweet.

It was like he was thinking in my head, I'll go to my agent and go, get on the phone to Steve Merchant, Rich Rosman, even some of the big American wrestlers, say if they don't ever want to do sort of like other people's singles, I feel like I've got this. It was honestly one of the worst. I'd say two people on set knew my name that day. I mean, I've had a few things.

I've had a thing where I was supposed to be in Uncle. Nick Hale put me up for this audition, and he said, the part's absolutely nailed on for you. Turned up to the audition, managed to deselect myself for the part. Then there was another time when there was this Disney Plus thing where a director specifically was a fan, got me into the audition, managed to deselect myself for that part. And then the worst one actually involved you.

I don't know. One of the worst ones involved you. I don't know if you remember this. I don't know if we've talked about this before, but we did. Do you know what I'm about to talk about? We did a run through of a panel show. Yeah. That I was hosting. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Invol show yeah that I was hosting whoa whoa whoa

involve me I was very I was a very small cog in that wheel yeah sure actually by the way quite a nice little moment just to sort of

before you sort of you know really because I know this story it's quite a sad one it was the first time I met Flo I think on that show so yeah

oh yeah cool yeah it was I remember her coming up and saying oh you smashed that mate oh nice thing to say yeah she didn't say that to me and rightly so uh what we um so it was my first go at hosting I never hosted anything before and uh so I was hosting this thing it was like quite a high concept kind of so it was insanely high concept yeah I don't know what you were thinking when you came up did you come up with it or i didn't come up with it no but anyway so we did

the run through and uh it went really well everybody was like celebrating we're talking about taking it to a pilot getting the money for the pilot and uh just my recollection of it was it was one of those things and at the time i, I just think that a pilot of Murder Unsuccessful, and I remember doing that and people being like, it's going to be all improvised. Just go with the improvisation of the piece. And then you start fucking about with improvisation, and then someone comes over and goes,

actually, we're just going to do scripted because it's just, and you're like, yeah. That happens so much. Mate, it's so, and you're like, yeah, that's what happens so much. So many people who want control and you realize that actually to get something improvised and fun, you need to relinquish some of this ego of your own and just let the fucking people try and do it. I've done so many shows. I mean, you and I,

you and I see this all the time where like they say, do what you want and then you do what you want and then they go, can you just stick to the, I mean, that's, that is almost worse than them just going, we're just going to do the script yeah i'd soon just go this is a scripted show we've written the script rather than just going oh it's going to be it's going to be the amount of times i've been called into saying it's going to be insane bedlam

and then you get there and it's like oh actually we don't really want the bedlam so we're just going to do quite a sort of like yeah the. The way I remember that, by the way, I thought you were brilliant at that. Well, that's very kind of you to say. So I hosted the pilot. You were in it. Jamie Dimitri was in it. I think Russell Kane and Sarah Pascoe were guests on it for the run through.

And it's the first time doing it. So, you know, I've got no idea how good I was. A lot of the time you think, it's like when I watch old stand-up, even like when i watch my live at the apollos i just think fucking what are you doing but anyway i thought it was fine uh didn't hear anything about it afterwards and it was actually a text from you uh that alerted me to the fact there might be a problem when you said oh great news about that run through. See you at the pilot, something along those lines. Now, I'd heard nothing about it.

That's savage, by the way, that no one phoned you and told you. Yeah. So I'd heard nothing about it. So I then contacted, I won't say who, but I contacted somebody from the production company. And I said, oh, just wondering what's going on. It was then that I was told that the channel had really enjoyed the run through and were taking

everybody involved through to the pilot stage with one exception. I mean, that is... I can't even explain to you what the feelings are. I mean, it's insane. Can I just say, by the way, and I know Jamie Dimitri listens to this the way and i think and i know jamie

dmitri listens to this podcast and i think he'd wholeheartedly agree the pilot was maybe one of the the biggest showers of shit that i don't like it was so fucking like they this is right so me and ellie um had to do a um a scene together where she played my daughter and I was playing I was playing like a dad dressed as Hulk Hogan and she was dressed as Macho Man and it basically culminated in me having David Tennant

in a headlock and Ellie kicking him in the bum from what I remember and it was just sort of it was I know we were playing brother and sister honestly it was just contextually

there was it was like even thinking about it I'm wincing like it was just one of it was like even thinking about it I'm wincing like it was just one of those shows

I wish I had something to wince about because while you were doing that I was at home you know

looking for work so yeah you literally just got off the fucking back of

hosting the BAFTA so yeah it's a really sad end to that story you didn't have to do

it really indignified before it was so horrible hosting the BAFTAs. So yeah, it's a really sad end to that story. You didn't have to do it, it dignified the force. it was so horrible. Should we do some emails? Yeah, let's do it. Okay. This is from

The Horse. Wow. The Horse says, Bore da. Oh, Bore da, it's good morning, the start is good night.

Did you ever do that? No. When you went to Wales on a school trip, that was the old, I never went to Wales on a school trip. Oh mate, that was one of my favorite. Um,

it's one of my favorite ever sort of memories. We went to Wales on a school trip. Let's hear it again. It's good morning. No start. It's good night. And then you, that goes on.

Your voice actually sounded quite nice. I hope you feel all right. It's good morning no start is good night and then you it goes on your voice actually sounded quite nice i hope you feel all right is good morning no start is good night yeah yeah that was nice good morning no start is tonight good night good morning let me see if i can get the rest of those lyrics i used to be in the choir at school. Did you really? Yeah. We did Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreaming. What? I close my eyes. I close my eyes. Drop out the curtain.

Actually, can I just say... Can I just say something? I think I can mention this now. Far, far away. Far, far away. far, far away. The one who was sleeping. Anyway, go on, what? If anyone wants to, if everyone sort of thinks that that was beautifully sounding,

I think, you know, Mo's show. Are you okay, mate? Yeah, sorry, I'm just looking for the... I can't find it. I wanted to do the rest of that song, but I can't find it. So I did Mo's latest show for Friday that comes out this Friday. Right.

When did you tape it? Last week. Can I just say, right? When we talk about anxiety, I was doing nursery rhymes. The anxiety I had on the lead up to nursery rhymes, I haven't felt that level of absolute fear and anxiety I have no rhythm I have no I'm just I'm

certainly unable to rap and I was it's one of my favorite sorts of music you want to know on the run up the anxiety I felt the cold sweat of having to like get that over it felt like you know like having to do any sort of performance when you're at school. It was absolutely sort of like spirit crushing. I think it's... Shout out Mo, by the way, and everyone else on the show who was very sweet about

how bad it was. I will say this now, and I know it's going to come out. I know they're going to put a snippet of it out. It is the worst... I'd arguably say I wouldn't even go as far... it's going to come out. I know they're going to put a snippet of it out. It is the worst. I'd arguably say, I wouldn't even go as far, I think it's definitely the worst nursery crimes ever.

I'd arguably say it's the worst ever piece of music shown on British television. It's so bad. I'd say even like Wagner or someone like Ryland,

Jedward, who've all given music a bit of a kick in, can sort of sleep quietly in their beds when this is aired. It's so awful. I've literally had reoccurring fear. Yeah, it's hilarious because it's a massive idiot looking like he's never... If you watch this clip, Ramesh, and I love you dearly and I know the feeling's mutual,

if anyone ever turned to you and went, oh, I saw Tom Davis do Nursery Grimes, it's weird that he didn't know what music even was. I genuinely say there's a feeling on it when you watch it. I've not even ever heard the song before, which is one of my favourite songs, but never heard music, rhythm or anything before. It's so bad.

Yeah, but I mean, it'd be funny, wouldn't it? I mean, that's the thing. Well, I'm going to lock myself away. Nobody's going, I want this to be really, really slick. Yeah, but I mean, yeah. But can I say the two people before me were incredible. Right. I don't think I can say who they are, but they were both amazing.

And like, yeah. It was just an... I imagine that you'll be the star of that piece, mate. Well, that's very sweet of you to say. I know that... I think we both know on Friday I will text you. Yeah, I look forward to it. Yeah, it will be.

But anyhow, anywho. Sorry, this is all spun from Borodar, which I'm sure there's, so Borodah. Borodah to the wolf, owl, swan, cat and assorted menagerie from sunny Cardiff. Oh, Cardiff's beautiful. I was recently at a recording of Mo Gilligan's latest show. You're a cheeky rascal. Oh, I'm such a rascal.

A friend of mine has a theory we wanted to put out there for discussion on the pod. I'll preface this by saying my friend and I... Once again, thanks to the swan for choosing this. I'll preface by saying

my friend and I are both women and both feminists. This theory isn't supposed to be offensive. It's one of those things that once you've heard it, you'll start seeing everywhere. I'm not sure how openly

you and I can comment on this, but okay. The theory is that all women resemble either a pig, a rat, or a horse. hmm I'm not sure how openly we you and I can comment on this but okay the theory is that all women resemble either a pig a rat or a horse pigs pigs generally have rounder faces while rats have small features and horses longer faces this theory strangely only applies to women but hasn't let us down yet although calling a woman a pig rat or horse might sound not great it doesn't mean that person is unattractive it's

just the fact of life we all look like one or the other i've attached some photos of famous women for the wolf and i'll take a look at and decide if they're pigs rats or horses they're feeling brave they can even let us know where they think the swan and cat lie on the scale uh all our love to you sweet sweet souls so um well i'm just gonna go out there and uh straight away say uh i love my wife dearly and there's no way i'm going on a podcast i don't think she looks like any of the three yeah and i i'd thoroughly encourage you to say that lisa doesn't either because i can't yeah no absolutely right i do want to say a lot i i do want to say regards to lisa you know it's not i don't feel comfortable talking about it. I love that little horse.

And. I love as well, by the way, you are, you're very much there. You're so politically charged. You, I saw your brain there.

I literally could see you going, the horse is the least confrontational thing that I can say. Oh, that's true. But what I would say is she is the, I would say Lisa's a horse out of the three of them. Pig, rat or horse. Of course you're going to say that.

Who's ever going to turn around and go, I have a very rattish wife? Well, I mean, I would say she's got, listen, she's got a rattish quality. There's no doubt about that. But if I'm choosing one of the animals. I think Lisa's got a very swanish quality. She's very elegant.

So, I don't know. I personally, I don't, look, you know, it's a very interesting way of looking at things. I personally don't think. I wonder why Lisa chose an email that would end our careers. It's a weird move. I certainly don't think it's true. And I'm not just saying that for effect.

I can think of a number of women who haven't got any of those qualities, including both our wives. I wouldn't look at either of them and go, you look like a horse, a pig or a rat. I'm sure it's a fun game if you've had a few drinks. I'm sure it's a fun game if you're a woman and not discussing it on a podcast. Yeah, I also think it's one of those things that if you've had a few drinks and if you look it's a fun game if you're a a woman and not

discussing on a podcast yeah i also think it's one of those things that if you look hard enough you can see you can make anything look like something else just off the back of this have you ever um i i had a few drinks at the baftas yeah i went to the toilets and i looked in the mirror and my face looked so different to what i thought it looked like you know sometimes when you think you look different in an outfit i mean my face looked different to what i thought what better or worse worse obviously worse um it just sort of looked like it was hanging off my skull a little bit i i would say in that moment hanging off your skull yeah it just sort of looked like it had been attached that'll be the lighting maybe that's the lighting is very unforgiving a lot of those sort of like high ranking yeah

well when you say that when people say that what they mean is it's well lit no it's not yeah but there's lots of lights do you know what i mean so so there's lots of lights that is what you look like yeah but no no it's not it's not throwing a load of lights and stuff because the actual the difference like, you'll walk around and there's like, light wires, you'll never have that many lights on you. So you're over lit.

Do you know what? You actually made a lot of sense there. That was like the most sort of authoritative I've heard you sound in a long time. Because I mean it more than I've said anything I've said on this podcast. Do you know Mariah Carey has like a lighting assistant

with her at all times? What, so they go to the toilets before she does no no not like that but like they'll like go around with her with like a little uplight or whatever so that if she ever gets like caught with if somebody takes a photo of her she's sort of decently lit that's a hell of a like imagine if you were like like electrician school with someone it's like what are you doing now oh yeah i work for this company i'm just doing i'm a spark what are you doing luke oh yeah i've actually worked for mario gary i'm just a lighting assistant yeah i want i imagine if i had a lighting assistant they'd be walking around with a t-shirt that says i'm not a fucking magician on it

i wonder if he does like or they do because this is bad i wonder if they do all of her house as well so it's perfectly lit whatever room you yeah maybe yeah just like every time you pass a mirror a mirror or something you just go i think that's worse i think you should have mirrors that make you look worse actually it's when you look in another mirror when you're out you go oh actually i don't know that bad do you know like one of the things i noticed is that the baftas loads of people are taking selfies and stuff yeah yeah and all of them they take they position themselves't notice that. They'd position themselves by lights, or they were ring lights or whatever. Mate, it's insane.

I never think about it. But people are amazing, don't they? Then I wonder why my photos look so much shitter than everybody else's. It's partly because of how I look. But it's also because people are like... They're thinking about the lighting. Do you ever think about the lighting?

No, no, no. It's so mad. no no but i some people fucking bang out some incredible there's some incredible pictures taken there that have been taken on an iphone they look amazing yeah and and some people a few people have asked for photos with me not just generally have got ring lights on the back of their phone what yeah like the case has got a ring light on it so you just turn it's like you're automatically lit yeah i'm thinking about getting one no don't be that guy why don't be that guy what do you mean i'll be well lit in every photo it's like having your own lighting assistant on your phone yeah yeah yeah but yeah i don't know man that doesn't feel like you just if you saw me put my phone down on the table and there's a ring light

just get the old ring light I've got a pack for my ring light get the old ring the ring light sounds so fucking grim as well

doesn't it I know what can you see doctor get the old ring light on there used to be a pebble up here might as well do a selfie while we're here

well thank you so much for your email I'm sorry that we couldn't comment as I wanted to it's an interesting theory we're here. Well, thank you so much for your email. I'm sorry that we couldn't comment as I started to you. Yeah, it's an interesting theory. Why not kick back with a cold smooth bush Shhh.

Shhh. Smooth taste. Great value. Bush Lager. Enjoy responsibly. Must be legal drinking age. Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle. I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know.

Mom's gonna love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only 14 14 now that's a vacation i can get behind deal so good everyone approves only at home sense in today's economy saving money is like an extreme sport coupon clipping promo code searching it takes skill speed sweat unless we're talking kudos new phone internet and streaming bundle with the happy stack you can sit back and stack up the savings on kudo internet a sweet phone plan netflix disney plus and amazon prime all starting at just 99 a month stack more spend less spend less. The Happy Stack. Only at CUDO. Conditions apply.

Okay. This is from Andy the Grump. Okay. Gentlemen, you're a delight. Let's keep it brief. You can change six inches of your body permanently. Can be one thing or six or anything in between. What would it be? Much love, the Grumpy Bear. Six inches of your body you can change six inches of your body permanently can be one thing or six or anything in between what would it be much love the grumpy bear six inches of your body you can change you can change six inches of your body permanently it can be one thing or any or six of anything

it can be one thing or six or anything in between what would it be you know what i think a lot it's just with just six inches it's difficult because i look at my muffin top i think that would be something i'd like to get rid of i'd like to put on a bit of trout a pair of trousers like and not have fucking excess flesh hanging over the top of them like a fucking do you know i'm not sure you know yeah you know the the number of times i've been wearing a t-shirt that i thought thought fitted me properly and then you see a photo and you go, oh God, that's bulging out at the sides there. I wonder if that's actual flesh or just the way the t-shirt hangs

and then I'll be in that t-shirt and I'll poke my finger at the bit that I think looks horrendous and it is body. So, so yeah, I mean, but then that's that, you know, sadly that's more than six inches.

I mean, I could, I'll probably lose an inch front, back, front and side and either side. So that's three inches gone. Oh man. I mean,

the trouble is I'm quite a big guy. So I put, I put potentially maybe take two inches off my height. Really? Yeah. Fucking hell. Really? Yeah, yeah.

Do you know how much I'm banging my head at the moment? I don't know if I'm getting older or just like... Oh, so this is not because of people making shitty jokes and... No, no, I mean, that's a part of it, but I just... It's getting so tiresome to have to fucking duck under every door and fucking navigate your way somewhere in someone's house without smashing

a fucking light bulb or a fucking expensive light fitting I went to a national trust place once and there's fucking the whole place was just sort of like

these low hanging chandeliers and they're not even low hanging for a normal person they're fine but for me I'm literally I literally was walking around

it's like I'm upside down and fucking what are those things that you get in rivers the vine things reeds yeah vines like reeds Literally. I literally was walking around. It's like I'm upside down. I'm fucking, what are those things that you get in rivers? The vine things. Reeds. Yeah, vines.

Like reeds. Oh, the reeds. Yeah, just like stroking my head as I walk around. How tall actually are you? And the woman kept on saying, oh, no one's ever touched a chandelier with their head before. I'm 6'7".

6'7". So does that fit? So does that, sorry, I mean, does this sorry are you within normal height what I mean is are you a freak no I'm not saying that

is the world not designed for you do you know Peter Crouch is house and shout out Crouchy I love Crouchy how tall is Crouchy I think he's 6'7 and a half he's a little bit taller than me but Crouchy has had his whole house, like that sweet football of money.

Obviously he's on big podcaster though as well. Pundit money. Crouchy's whole, all his doorways and all his house is made for him. So it's, he doesn't have to duck for any in his house, which I sort of think is amazing, but also it probably give you a little bit of,

you'd be a bit too chill. I've constantly got to be aware. I'm like, I'm like, you know, give you a little bit of... You'd be a bit too chill. I've constantly got to be aware. I'm like, you know, like in a superhero movie where you get like a fucking bodyguard that's sort of like the Penguin or fucking the Joker who's constantly waiting for Batman to sort of smash through and give him a kick in. That's what I'm like walking around any house or any building.

I'm constantly waiting to hit my head on something. I'm on high alert. Whereas Peter Crouch? 6'5 would take you out of that, wouldn't it? 8'6", 5'. I mean, I might even just use

three inches off so I'm not ducking anywhere. What are you? How tall are you? Six foot dead on. Oh, yeah? I thought you were taller than that. No.

Wow, man. Yeah, no, definitely. I'm going to come... So I'm going to take an inch off of it, like the tyre that goes around my stomach. So that's three and I'll take three inches off my height so I'll come down to... Yeah, no, definitely. I'm going to take an inch off of the tyre that goes around my stomach. So that's three, and I'll take three inches off my height,

so I'll come down to... Yeah, yeah. I think I'd do similar. When I did Asian Provocateur, the travel show in Sri Lanka, I went and spent time with a village tribe who are sort of indigenous in Sri Lanka and have been living the same way of life for thousands and thousands of years and they made me a grass skirt which is what they wear when they're um uh well that's just what they wear and uh we started laughing immediately just because

I don't know what's coming but I haven't even heard the story before but so they they so they say they went to uh make me a grass skirt and as they sort of put it around my body they said they hadn't encountered a waist kind of hip discrepancy like mine now bearing in mind like that was they just went like they just sort of said we've never seen this before where like your your your sort of your butt area is so small but that just above that there's such a prolific sort of shelf they've never encountered that before and i thought to myself this is a tribe that have been making grass skirts generation after generation for thousands of years and they've not encountered my body type.

That was a low point. Also a high point in a way because they'll talk about you for generations to come. If you have to put a little Polaroid picture of you in the skirt, I'd imagine that's something like they'll regale all stories of this amazing guy who turned up. Yeah, sure. Or they've forgotten about me

even now and thought the program was quite exploitative and I'm not welcome back. One of those two options. But I think I'd do quite similar but the opposite to you. So I'd lose some inches, probably lose four inches of kind of circumference around the gut and sort of size.

And then probably with the final two inches, I'd make myself 6'2". Oh, wow. So we'd be like two inches away from each other almost. Yeah. We'd be closer. We could share clothes. I wonder how that would affect our friendship.

I think it would make it even tighter. I think as well we could share clothes. Yeah, we could do, yeah. There's quite a lot of your things, your clothes, that I almost immediately want to buy when I see you. Ditto, ditto. Oh, man. I'd be able to wear that suit see you. Ditto, ditto. Oh, man. I'd be able to wear that suit that you wore.

Well, I wouldn't be able to because it'd be too small still, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you inspired the shoes, mate. The shoes are down to you because you tell me not to wear them. Although a couple of people are wearing trainers with suits. In fact, Boyd Hilton. Boyd Hilton always looks good, man.

Yeah, he does always look good. He was wearing a suit with trainers, and then he said, you don't like this, do you? And I said, I do like that, Boyd's looks good, man. Yeah, he does always look good. He was wearing a suit with trainers, and then he said, you don't like this, do you? And I said, I do like that, Boyd. I think you'll find it's my fascist colleague, Tom Davis, that has a problem with suit trainers. I was going to say, no, but Boyd rocks that vibe very, very nicely.

Yeah, he does. He does rock that vibe. I've got to say, I've known Boyd for a number of years. Always, always back. Boyd's got some of the best tracksuit tops I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, he's always drippy. Boyd's always dri of the best tracksuit tops I've ever seen in my life yeah he's always drippy Boyd's always

drippy I'd say actually arguably it's a big statement never seen him in the same pair of

trainers twice always got a banging pair of nice and I've met him twice

so you've met him more than twice you cheeky rascal that's as cheeky as

you've ever been. You went from being our old mister to, I've only met him twice. Oh. I've only met him twice. Okay. Oh. Why do I keep making that noise?

I've only met him twice. Oh. Okay, let's do one more. Dear Wolf and Owl, I've been listening to the pod from the start and recently when little things go wrong, spilling a drink,

dropping my phone, I find myself putting on the nerdy owl voice and saying his catchphrase, I'm fucking owl. Oh, that's made me happier than anything. I just wondered if either of you have ever adopted any well-known catchphrase.

I just wondered if any of you... Sorry, let me do it. You sound very grand. No one now. Yeah, that's all right. I just wondered if either of you have ever adopted any well-known catchphrases from popular culture and used them in your everyday lives. Thanks for the pod, the irritating iguana.

No, sorry, I've done that totally wrong. The imitating iguana. I'm really out of sorts today. I think... Well, we know that you stole melts, don't we, from Jamie Redknapp? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamie, shout out, Jamie. You know, the worst version of this that I've ever done.

So, a number of years ago, I was at, like, I do a thing called the BAFTA Breakthrough where you get like they pick out people that are sort of... Yeah, did you win this? Yeah, yeah. Or you were picked? I was one of the BAFTA Breakthroughs. Anyhow, so it was my first ever red carpet thing that I'd ever really been to and there's sort of quite a lot of Hollywood film stars and stuff in there one of the things and I'm queuing up there's Greg James from what

I remember and we're queuing up uh this is well but this is a long time ago so me and Greg are sort of new in the industry anyhow and in front of us um is Rosamund Pike and she's doing all these pictures and chatting to sort of like journalists on the red carpet and people and I've never met Rosamund Pike and subsequently never met her since but I thought it would be funny to sort of like break the ice. This is a difference between me and you. You are brilliant

because we both have the same anxiety right? The way sometimes I deal with it is being overly chatty and showing off. Instead of just being quiet some would say some would say that you're totally comfortable

and you pretend to be anxious because you think it's cool but anyway go on it's certainly not that so I shouted out don't tell them your name Pike and she turned around and said

no you didn't pardon and I went don't tell them your name Pike and sort of smiled at her and she just went they know my name they know they know who I am I'm Rosamund Pike I went, don't tell them your name, Pike. And sort of smiled at her. And she just went, they know my name. They know who I am. I'm Rosamund Pike.

I went, no, no. But, you know, don't tell them your name, Pike. And she went, what are you talking about? No, they know who I am. I'm Rosamund Pike. Their interviewer. I said, no, it's from, because in Dad's Army, when Captain Melloring turned around to Pike.

And she went, what are you talking about? I was like, Dad's Army. Don't tell them your name him your name pike and she was like she stared at me like genuinely i was the biggest bit of dung ever on a red carpet and she was like do you know who are you i said i'm one of the breakthrough people i'm one i've got breakthrough things so and she was like right okay yeah all right okay yeah but they know yeah. But they know who I am. They know who I am. And then she sort of like answered some of your questions and she walked off chatting to some people next to her

and all of them looked back at me with absolute contempt. We then had to go into a whole different... Did somebody from BAFTA come over and go, we've had a little chat and you're probably not ready to break through actually. To be fair, the people at BAFTA found this hilarious. We then went into a little holding room, like where everyone was waiting to go down and be announced as a breakthrough

and Rosamund Pike went round to every other breakthrough act to shake their hand and then stared at me and I don't even blame Rosamund Pike by the way no listen I don't think anybody I'm not it was the most awkward thing

she just looked at me with utter contempt. Like, you know, I think she did this, she probably thought I was being rude. I thought it was breaking the ice

and being funny. And this is, that's what I'm saying about anxiety. That, I should have just been you. I should have been quiet. I felt very anxious

and I thought, oh, you know what? I'll be quite loud and I should be gregarious and sort of say something and everyone, she'll laugh

and she'll say, oh, that's Arby in Captain Manoran. Oh, bless you. And then that'll be it. It's actually quite sweet what you did. I mean, I totally understand why she reacted the way she did. She's probably dealing with her own insecurities.

Yeah, of course she is. And then somebody she doesn't know rocks up and says, don't tell him your name, Pike. Out of nowhere. She's got no idea who you are not at all although she was on the judging panel allegedly for that uh breakthrough that year so she gives you an idea of how rigorous that process what i should have done is walked over and gone oh yo how hey rosemary i thought gone girl which is what everyone else did everyone else talked about her career said how amazing she was you can do that you can just have a straight, normal conversation. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But what you tried to do is, you did what we talk about, which is like when people recognise somebody and they try and say something that they think nobody else has ever said. Yeah, now I realise how bad, what a fraudulent slip that was. Like, now I know how to deal with anxiety

a little bit more. What I'm saying about it is, at that time, I thought the way of dealing with it is be, like like completely battling it. And it will make everyone more relaxed. If I just, if I shout,

it's very sweet. It's very sweet. Whereas now we know that if you bumped, if that happened now, the Tom Davidson knows what he knows now about anxiety. Rosamund might be telling a story about the first time that she ever just encountered somebody who was sobbing uncontrollably on the red carpet. I have it where like it happens every now and again where somebody you

really admire messages you on instagram to say they like something you did you know like well it doesn't happen to me that much but it happens you know it's happened to hand enough for you to mention it sir anyway when that happens i always regret my i always regret my reply i always always i almost think it's better to not reply at all but then i think that's rude yeah of course but you do reply and you want them to know often it's somebody you're a fan of you make like a zany joke or anything oh god yeah what's the worst version what's the worst one one of the worst things the thing that i always regret doing is i i quote something from a film they've done or something like that or go

this will like was this hit me mad and you put you so whoa whoa whoa you say i'm paraphrasing yeah okay it'd be something like that and then they don't reply and you think this is actually i'm now i'm now in a worse position than if I'd never had any contact with this person. I have certain people that you talk to who I've known for a little while now, who, when I converse with them, I never want to be the last person to say something on a message. It's so fucking soul destroying.

It's like, but I know that feeling though, because you sort of go for some reason if you're the last person that means they've gone in your head it's not just they've gone oh that conversation's finished they've gone i don't want to talk to that guy anymore that's that's how you read it that's how i do right or read it or whoever right your your message and it's fine when it's someone you know a little bit, you've seen them around, and they'll message you about something, and then you message them,

and you anxiously wait for their reply. Then they reply, and you should then just go, right, fucking I'm out, I'm done. And then you sort of think, oh, this is going well. And then you message back with a question mark at the end.

And then every now and again, you'll go back to that question and just see that they've seen it, but they've never replied. Yeah, I just think don't ever ask a question. No, no. Because you're causing yourself anxiety. I also do that thing where you count up the messages.

Have you ever done that where you go, let me see who's been the thirstiest in this conversation. You know what, Ron, even in my relationship, and I'd say that I converse with you more than most people, and I don't think this will come as a surprise to anyone. I'm the thirstiest in nearly every relationship. I don't think there's anyone I have a relationship via text that I'm thirstier than. I genuinely don't.

I'm like I'm living cruelly all the time. I'm the king of thirst. There's people I don't even respect or like who message me sometimes and I become thirsty. Do you know, sometimes I sit there and I'll message someone back who I don't really, I don't enjoy them. I was finding them quite rude and obnoxious. They'll message me something,

usually asking me a favour and I'll do the favour and then I'll message how they are and then they'll message back and then I'll realise I'm in a situation with someone I have no time for and I'm fucking thirsty. I'm dying for, yeah. Yeah then I'll realise I'm in a situation with someone I have no time for. No.

And I'm fucking thirsty. I'm dying for, yeah. Yeah, I've had that many times. Right, listen, we'd love to continue, but we can't. Because one, I don't think I've been very good on this. And two. You've been great, man. No.

And two, Tom's got to go. So, Tom, would you like to take us out? I think let's just say I've got to go. Let's and two Tom's got to go so Tom would you like to take us out I think let's just say I've got to go let's just say I've got to go I've got to lope what do you mean

well I've got to lope what's that how's that song go I don't know don't know don't you know that one don't you know

I'll be the way I'm living life do or die what did I say I'm 23 never will I live to see you 24 the way things are going I don't know do you know, I want to think about the heartbeat of the way I'm living life, do or die. What did I say? I'm 23 now, but will I live to see

24? Oh, Gangster's Paradise. Do you know how pathetic that is as an end? One had to fucking really mount saying, that was Gangster's Paradise.

One of the best known rap tunes, one of the best known songs ever. And you didn't even know what I was doing. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's just leave. You were saying I've got to elope. No, I've got to elope. What? There's a bit where he goes, and I got to elope when I found myself in the pistol smoke. Yeah, I really hate to trip, but I got to elope. Yeah? Yeah.

Okay, is that what you were doing? Yeah. Look, let's just, yeah. Fucking hell, just do the closer. Jesus. Okay, okay. Friends, family, that's what you are an animal pack that we enjoy we love and we savor but this week is a big week it's mental health awareness week so i wanted to shout out to

each and every one of you anyone out there who may be struggling anyone out there who's having anxious or depressive thoughts, just to say you're not alone. One of the best things you can do is start a conversation with someone, a friend, a family member, just pick up the phone and sort of say how you're feeling. Especially men out there, give a chat. I'd be a bit more open about how you are in your heart,

how you are in your soul. I personally, this last week or so, have struggled massively with my anxieties, my worries. A lot of things have sort of got on top of me coming into this last week. Shout out Romesh, by the way, and Flo and Ollie for checking in.

And that's what it means to the world, I think, is when you feel that you've got friends around you who can do that. So I just wanted to say, check in on people if you're worried about them. It's a big week to have this open conversation and keep it going with mental health. So there's some amazing charities out there doing amazing things. So look into it.

Take care of each other. Take care of yourselves. And remember, your brain, your soul are the two biggest muscles you have take care of them friends that was really that was actually do you know what i was expecting something about an emu or something that learned a lesson from if i'm honest with you i expected it to go better but i was really reeling from the whole gangster's paradise thing uh but no in all seriousness that is a really good point. Make sure you do check in on people.

It's something that me and Tom both feel really strongly about. And it's something that people neglect. And, you know, when you ask your friend if they're all right and they go, how are you? And they go, yeah. I just think sometimes you can see when people are going through it, it's worth just pushing a bit, you know, and properly checking in on people.

Well, thanks for pushing me this week, my friend. a genius oh no not at all i'm very lucky to have you no not sometimes i love the bonesy mate sometimes i feel that that little louse sitting on my shoulder giving me a little peck on the cheek saying things are going to be okay big dog yeah well thanks for not going things are going to be okay, big dog. Well, it didn't feel right. Hmm. Okay. We are taking you out with a song in keeping with that. Tribe Called Quest, Stressed Out. Take care of yourselves, guys. We love you very much.

Big love. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. What's your name? Consequence, I'm tight burnt like flames And why's that? American Dream, they got this ghetto kid in a fiend Don't stress that, cause it's not in your bloodstream Your whole being comes from greatness, you remember Chase Long got you caught in the storms of December And brothers on the block back in 9th night September Change these situations, get these pockets all slanted Yo, I be on the avenue where they be acting brand new

I'm sludging on these Reebok joints for sure they boo All of a sudden, I saw these two kids frontin' Talkin' out they joints but they wasn't sayin' nothin' My hand was on my car, I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store

I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store I was on my way to the store Where they be acting brand new I'm sludging on these Reebok joints For sure they proved All of a sudden I saw these two kids frontin' Talkin' out they joints

But they wasn't sayin' nothin' My hand was on my Thule They was acting unruly Yo, word up Yo, I was tight caught up But I swallowed my pride To let that nonsense ride Because the positive

It seems that negative got if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com that's wolfowlpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you