Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 59: Fashion Fails & Fantasy Football

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

We’re talking… not wearing shorts, skinny jeans and snug tracksuits, outfit planning, online clothes shopping gripes, bad camera angles and being filmed for the pod, a personalised West Ham shirt, glory clubs, football celebrations and the long-awaited details of our Fantasy Premier League. Then we answer some email questions on making the most of your hair and a problem with a neighbour's parcel. That all important code for our FPL - 3bgl86 For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill Never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing All you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings Red spilling and flesh ripping

Impressive in it The death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song Is about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Are we recording? Oh, great. Recording's started now welcome to the wolf and now

featuring hold on is this a start yeah oh go on go again recording now welcome to the wolf and now with robin schwenger nathan and oh Davis. Welcome, friends and fellow animals. Very nice, very nice. It's a bit different. Yeah, yeah. Just a bit more. How are you? Good, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It feels weird doing these back to back. Yeah, well, we need to make sure we've brought the energy up for this second one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, JT, full disclosure, hates us mentioning that we're doing them back to back. Oh, does he? Yeah. He thinks it sort of ruins the back. Oh, does he? Yeah. He thinks it sort of ruins the illusion. Okay, well, let's...

Let's just say we're doing a different episode, and when the clips come out, we happen to have chosen the same outfit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, you're wearing something quite trippy and sort of... I'm wearing quite a sort of like very... Almost like a vibe. How hot does it have to be for you to wear shorts? You personally, I mean. to wear shorts you personally I mean

I wear shorts I try to wear them all summer long right why I think it's nice to sort of mix up summer and winter with sort of a shorter

because you never wear shorts now very rarely yeah why I don't like them why don't you like shorts I mean I like them to wear I don't like how I look in them

I think you're yeah but this is this is probably leaning into sort of phobias of yesteryear a little bit. I think you look... I've seen you in shorts. You look nice. Yeah, you've seen me in shorts because what? Stuart Williams had to wear them on King Garry. And he knew that I had a thing about them.

No, I didn't know you had a thing until literally this moment. Right. So that was just lucky. Do you not get sweaty? Your legs and, you know, your balls and stuff. Like when you're in trousers. So it's like 30 degrees. Yeah.

You're wearing shorts or trousers? I'd probably not wear jeans, wear a lighter trouser. Like a linen trouser. I don't... You got me onto linen, although I haven't got any linen trousers. Linen trousers are amazing. Right. I've thrown all my jeans out, by the way.

Why? Any jeans now. You don't have any jeans? No. Why? I just don't like them. I don't like the way they, by the way. Why? I don't have any jeans now. You don't have any jeans? No. Why? I just don't like them. I don't like the way they look. Do you know what?

I got so rinsed. You know the picture of the puppy with the skinny jeans? Like the French bulldog. I've been sent that picture. Yeah. I got sent it. So many times. Yeah.

And also, when we talk about King Gary, I wore, so I had to wear skinny jeans as King Gary for that character. But also I was wearing them, so when the costume lady on that, Lucy, brought a load of skinny jeans that were meant to be quite, this is Gary's look, I realised that some of my actual personal jeans were so skinny, they were actually skinnier than Gary's jeans. And I'm like, you know when I look at some pictures of me

in certain jeans, I feel actually sad about it. But I'm like, what was I thinking? I have that. I have that. Like skinny, skinny jeans. Yeah, but with jeans,

what happens is you get caught up in like whatever, like whatever the thing is. So if it's tight jeans, you go, okay, I'm going to get some tight jeans. And then what you think is you put them on and you go,

these don't look like tight jeans. They're just like jeans that are a bit tight. So then you go tighter and tighter. It's like, I guess it's a bit like getting fake tan. You just go darker and darker and then eventually you don't realise what you look like. You're being offensive. A racially offensive character. Yeah, but skinny, like, I look in now and think,

there's pictures, I've got pictures of me. There's a picture someone took of me and a mate walking down the street. We're a group of pals and someone's taking a picture of us as we're walking from pub to pub on a pub crawl. And I look fucking ridiculous. My legs look, I look like two different bodies stuck together. Yeah, but I don't look like that with skinny jeans. I look like that in my boxer shorts.

I mean, I look like a cut and shut. No, you get, I don't know. Yeah, but I don't look like that with skinny jeans. I look like that in my boxer shorts. I mean, I look like a cut and shut. No, you get, I don't, yeah. I'd arguably say my top half was so bulbous. Tom, we've got to stop. No, no, no, I'm saying I feel better about myself now. Okay, fine. No, I'm going to say now, I've made decisions in my life. Right.

So you say I've not been negative now about myself in my present self. Okay, because we've decided that we're going to talk about this. No, no, no, so now I wear a looser jean. I've tried to do so. But when I look back, I think like how... Like fashion's insane. This is what this is. So I guess this is my point, right?

When it comes to fashion, right? That was such a big thing. Like we were all coming up and we're on stage and everyone's wearing skinny jeans. But skinny jeans were never made for the likes of us. No. Right? I've got mates who've just worn 501s since we were 15.

That's all they've worn. That's not a skinny jean. But that's what they feel comfortable with. They've not fallen into the fashion trap. They've not fallen into the trap that we have, yeah. I went for a phase of wearing skinny jeans with boots. Hmm. It's an awful look.

I've worn skinny jeans with Uggs. What? Yeah. When? Out? Yeah. Where? Six years ago.

Six, seven years ago. Six years ago, you were wearing skinny jeans with Uggs? Yeah. I genuinely, I wasn't even, right, let me just be straight with you. I was dressing like Sam Fares from TOWIE at the time. I wasn't even, I don't know where that look came from but hold on ugg boots yeah you wore with skinny jeans yeah i'm not i'm not proud of that i feel deeply embarrassed by it i don't remember you wearing that sort of stuff i was i was wearing

it i've got pictures if you need to see them yes can you stick one up on the gram yeah I'll try but that look I thought at the time I look cool I'm not like I I look back now and think so that's

I'm not being negative here I'm not this isn't some like me this isn't me falling into that trap I'm just

saying it's a weird thing because like when I look at pictures now I'm going oh my god what were you thinking

so like this is I did league Like, when I look at pictures now, I'm going, oh, my God, what were you thinking? So, like, this is, I did Liga de Ronde road trip once, right? And this was one of the biggest eye-openers. I wore a Bugsy Malone tracksuit. Yeah. Right, that was so tight. I looked so awful in it, right? But I thought I looked drippy as.

Yeah. Until I got to the airport and Jamie, Freddie, and Maya Jammer in it, right? But I thought I looked drippy as. Yeah. Until I got to the airport and Jamie, Freddie and Maya Jammer were there, right? Yeah. I literally, it's like I turned up, put out a plate and said, can you, someone just hand me my arse on this, please? And I go, it was, but then it was an eye opener. So I can't wear stuff like this. Right. But at the time I thought, when I first left the house, I thought it was amazing. I felt quite confident can't wear stuff like this right but at the time I thought

when I first left the house I thought it was amazing I felt quite confident in what I was wearing yeah but my point is is like when you look back at stuff

but what's to say in three or four years we look at the pictures of us now and go fucking hell what was I thinking I think that's almost certain

yeah but what how do you get round that you can't because Elton John's worn some insane stuff he's worn some insane stuff. He's worn some crazy stuff. Do you think he doesn't? He just looks back and goes,

that were great times. Yeah, I think so. But he's not riddled with what we are. I just can't... Tom, I can't tell you a photo that was taken of me last week that I feel alright about. Mate, come on.

No, I'm not talking about looks-wise. I'm talking about, like, you will always... When you have programmed yourselves like we have, you'll always find... But this, I mean, I'm not trying to, I didn't want to get down this rabbit. It's not what I'm trying to...

Well, we do it every... Yeah, yeah, but... I mean, this is exactly how we started the second episode in the studio last time, by the way. Yeah, no, but it's, like, insane to think, how do you get, yeah. How do you? How do you run that score of thought?

We've just got to be more positive yeah why don't we start now we did this last week we did this two weeks why do you think of a time that you've had a photo taken of you or a time that you felt you looked really good

yeah yeah when you describe it to me now I think my wedding day looked good there's a few pictures of me in suits that I look at I look better in a baggier trouser I know that now now? I think my wedding day looked good. There's a few pictures of me in suits. I look better in a baggier trouser. I know that

now. Even the other day, oh my God, this is awful. I found a picture of me in a pair

of tight shorts that I'd rolled out like hot pants. I got obsessed with rolling shorts up because I thought they looked cool. Like a bit of tight shorts that i'd rolled up like hot pants i got obsessed with rolling shorts up because i thought they looked cool yeah and i rolled like a bit of a cuff on them yeah yeah and i rolled them up and it was like i started with one roll yeah and then it was sort of actually you know maybe i can get them sort of higher

and higher before you knew it i hated shorts being baggy at that time so i was almost in a pair of hot pants. I don't think that's a bad look for you. It is when you've got really long legs. I looked like I was trying to look like Elmer Pearson. I bet you did. I bet you looked like a sexy Elmer Pearson. Someone looks like they've put the Rock's body top half on Elmer Pearson's legs.

Yeah. But I'd like to see you more in shorts. It half on Elmer Fierce's legs. Yeah. But I'd like to see you more in shorts. It'd be a cool thing for you to do. Okay, do you know what? Next time we're at the studio, I'd wear the Dependent. I'll wear shorts. Yeah, it'd be good.

Are you going on holiday? On holiday I'll wear shorts, yeah. But on holiday it gives less of a shit what I look like. I think you should be like that all the time. I think maybe that's it. It's not about being positive. I think it's giving less of a shit.

Yeah. Just stop caring as much. You obviously care. Oh, I care. Yeah. That's what I mean, but I need to do that as well. Right, right, right.

Instead of like, because I think the positivity, which positivity is one thing, right? And that's great, but I don't think that's ever going to work for us. The number of people that must see us and go, God, they care too much about how they look. They should care less. Those two guys should care less about how they look.

Mate, I put on three or four outfits to then come out in something I'd look now and think, this is just so basic. Oh, mate, okay. This is something, I'm so glad you said this out loud. The number of times I've been out, like what I'm wearing now, right? Yeah. I've had to you said this out loud. The number of times I've been out, like, what I'm wearing now, right? Yeah.

I've had to think about this. Yeah, but this is different. You look really like, you're colour-coded. I look literally like... No, you look great. Yeah, but in my head, I'm like, I had a whole two or three other outfits that would have been exceptional,

and I didn't have the confidence to wear them, or I was just like, no, that's not for today. How far ahead of an excursion like this would you think about what you're going to wear? night before right i'll run an outfit in my head yeah then i'll literally look it in the mirror and go this isn't working for me today and then i often quite often try two or three other things on and in the end just go it's where around like a crew net t-shirt with pair of shorts and trainers um do you ask for cat's help yeah yeah and catherine's always great she'll be like why don't you put this or this we were shopping the other day uh for you know this is for the first time I went shopping in

an actual shop I reckon in about five years I can't remember the last time I went into a shop yeah pretty much yeah I will buy nearly everything online and do you return stuff online yeah right but I find it really the amount of times I don't know if you've had this but I'm so tall the amount of times I walk into a fucking place I'll see something I really like and I'll go

have you got this in a double XL or have you got this in da da da and I'll go no no no stock it in store at that size

and I've had that for so long and now I'm like really like conscious here's my thing with that when you know like when you see those pictures

normally women that post up like this is what the dress looked like on the website this is what it looks like on me it's very funny that happens to me

almost every single thing yeah yeah yeah yeah of course yeah but what I mean is you can't even complain about it there's not an issue with the garment

you look at it and you go this is what it looks like on this person I'm looking at the thing in my hands it's the same thing the dimensions are the same thing the

dimensions are the same but for whatever reason i put it on me i look like i'm in fucking fancy dress yeah but then sometimes you push the envelope a bit too far because you get you'll be looking on mr porter or asos or whatever right and you'll see something and you'll go that looks trippy that the amount of times for me i buy saying and it's not quite just it's not just quite long or it's just there's something about like it happens to me with trousers a lot I try trousers on

like you fuck around with the length sometimes you want them like a little bit you know like a little bit shorter yeah I could see this is a weird one for me right at school I was teased

mercies like there was no mercy on me right yeah at school for ankle swingers yeah because I was so I literally went through like four or five different sizes of trousers in about fucking three weeks i was

growing so quickly so i constantly had ankle swingers so i have such a fucking stigma to ankles so when i see people now and i sometimes think fucking hell that's a sick look yeah but i can never i can never succumb and wear a track like i wear sometimes i'll fucking do a little pinch roll on them to give a bit, but to actually wear a proper pair of outlandish ankle swingers, I can never do that. I just don't think,

I don't know who it looks, it looks good on some people. Mark Wright carries it off well. Yeah. Rio also looks good like that. Yeah, I don't know what it is. It's whenever you go that side

of like being fashionable. Yeah. It's difficult to pull off that, isn't it? Yeah, because you've got to have a real flamboyance to you. Yeah.

And actually, also you've got to, what you realise is, like sometimes it's difficult to pull off that yeah because you've got to have a real flamboyance to you and actually also you've got what you realise is like sometimes it's so minimalist yeah like you've got everything's got to be perfect

the trainer colour the trouser length the length is everything right yeah my friend Terence gets it right it's absolutely disgusting I shouldn't have had a coke

and sat like this. My friend Terrence... By the way, can I just say something? So last week, we were in a studio. Yeah. And one of the things that I saw on the comments on the Instagram is that we're sort of side on. Yeah.

You've made the decision so far in this one to basically have your fucking back to the camera. What? But I like to look at you. Do you know what you look like? no no i've got a bugbear right i'm gonna say it now about me no not you about these podcasts being filmed i've got a bug i watch a lot of them i've got a lot of friends who do them i find it really hard to watch them and someone come to a line and look at look down the camera like that i think it's a conversation yeah and my conversations with you the cameras just happen to be here yeah it's not a show that we're presenting right right i i watched an awful lot of them where people will go i know yeah yeah anyway or they'll go

anyway romesh uh so you don't wear shorts um and then turn back to you and i find that really strange right so i don't think that's what do you think is more annoying occasionally turns the camera having your back to the camera the entire duration that really strange. Right. Because I don't think that's... What do you think is more annoying? Occasionally turning to the camera or having your back to the camera the entire duration? Which is my camera, that one? Well, I don't know. There's like three cameras over there. Right?

Yeah. And you're like... You know what you're talking like? You're talking like somebody that's agreed to be on a TV show and their identity is not revealed. How am I going to sit like this? Why don't you just face this way

where we can pixelate your face and disguise your voice? Should I sit more like this? this no but what you're doing is you're doing this alright that's how you're talking to me you know what we should have done right

I don't want to move the cameras because obviously Tom what the fuck is wrong with you I would get upset if that camera's there then I could talk to you and it'd be over your shoulder right yeah and that'd probably be like that'd be a better look because you've got a nice one there, then I could talk to you and it'd be over your shoulder, wouldn't it? Right, yeah.

And that would probably be, like, that would be a better look. Because you've got a nice one there that's honestly on you, isn't it? You know how lenses work, right? Yeah. That lens is pointing

in that direction. But that camera there could be doing an amazing job there. It's a light, isn't it? I just looked at that. Yeah. To make a point.

Yeah. So, that's, yeah, anyway, I digress. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now. Dine-in only until 11 a.m. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping.

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so i but you run the risk don't you of when you slip into the world of fashion, right, of when people get it perfectly right, they look incredible, right? I don't know if these people are stylists, but if you sort of slightly sort of like go over the line, just a little bit too much. When you sort of like slip into the realm of ridiculous, that's what I've done quite a lot of times.

I've done it a few times. I've thought. I've done it a few times with headgear. I've done it a few times with t-shirts and shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to wear the Disney character t-shirts and stuff. You're joking. I've told you this story.

No. I think I have. Some girl bought me, when I was at uni for my birthday bought me a matching Tasmanian devil polo and cap

and for some reason I managed to convince myself it was a good look until I went to lectures the next day and got absolutely fucking hammered can you fucking imagine

if you're at uni in your early 20s and you see somebody walk past you with a matching Tasmanian devil cap and pilot anyway so here's a deliver for you actually

I think we're I don't think we've talked so West Ham kindly have sent me the new home shirt hello for free yeah yeah but they've put my name

and the year on the back can I wear that to games they've put your name and the year so they've put Davis 23 on the back yeah what's wrong with that

no yeah but but what I find it a bit can I tell you what I think I think there's not an issue you just wanted to announce that West Ham have sent you a free shirt

no are you saying right would you have Frank and Nathan 22 on the back? Yeah, I would. You really would? Yeah. Like, that's just literally, for me, I think that's great for kids. I think up until you get to sort of 15, that's a really fun thing, right? Because, oh yeah, I've got my name.

What are you holding on to? Tom, Tom, what are you holding on to wearing a fucking football shirt at all? Mate, I have no, I think football shirts can look trippy as. I think a football shirt looks nice. Yeah, when are you wearing it? Just out and about?

I wear it around the house. I might wear it down the gym or something. So what are you worried? Catherine's going to take the piss out of you. No, I'm worried that, no, if I was to wear it to the game. Right, what would happen? And everyone's like, oh, fucking hell, he fancies it.

Why has he got Davis on it? Right, this is one of the saddest things I've ever, have you ever been to the Barcelona Stadium Tour? Mm-mm. Right? I was at the Barcelona, I went to the Barcelona Stadium Tour with Catherine. God, you're full of the fucking brags today, aren't you?

Anyway, go on. Right, there, when I was there, there was a father. First of all, let me just say, have you ever been, have you ever been have you ever been on the Barcelona stadium tour ok right

well this story's not going to mean as much to you so Catherine and I were at the Barcelona stadium tour yeah go on go on Mr fucking Big Shot

fucking I'm sorry I haven't been as well travelled as you have on fucking round the globe fucking Barcelona's as good as it gets there was a guy there with his son

right I thought there was an element of sweetness to this but but you're still going to shout him out on this podcast so they turned up and they had full

Barcelona tracksuits like you know pre-game tracksuits on right for the tour so when and then they did all like proper

his son was like 15, 16 he was like were they British these people yeah yeah there and out his dad was probably

just a bit older than us okay so they basically they became the sort of like they're from Birmingham

they were quite the loudest people you know so excited to be there when you know you go through the press bit where you do

all the sort of like interviews they both did separate interviews they got someone else to stand there and sort of do the interviews

so it looked like they'd been interviewed about the game yeah um and then they did all the big thing where it looks like they're signing on for the club and then when we get to the pitch side they both stripped down and they had full click kits on with their names on the back right and they got pictures of them you know just looking like they were going to just about to come on and stuff yeah And then they had those pictures. At Barcelona, you get a picture made, and it's like Leo Messi, Iniesta, Xavi, whoever it is, Suarez, and then you can be superimposed onto the picture as well.

And they both had those done. There's a part of that I was like, as a football fan, it's quite fun, but they took over the whole thing. And I was like, what are you holding on to with your name on the back of a football shirt? Sorry, Tom, your problem is with a father and son wearing barcelona kits to the barcelona stadium tour so they can have photos taken as if they're the players that you gotta you got problem with that what's wrong with are you the owl now what's going on

no i found it really like yeah i was like what are you holding on to Tom I'd understand it I thought you were going to tell me a story about like a father and son at the park and they've got the warm up kits on

I'd have found that less offensive that's less offensive than them wearing it to the Barcelona tour we're all there it's like they're literally

you get to the different rooms and they're taking over each room right they then get like changed into they have a fucking change of costume. Great.

Make the day magical. But magical for who? For them. What about everyone else? Why would they give a shit about making it magical for you? Down the park, if I was to see you and Theo, right, dressed in Arsenal kits, like training kits... First of all, I'd go,

why have you come to the park in Crawley? You didn't tell me you were coming. And then, like, you get stripped down, you've got your Arsenal kit on, and then Theo's got his on, and you start doing heads and follies and stuff, against another father and son dressed in Tottenham kits. I think that was really cool.

I think I can go for it, Ron. Just the series of text messages to lead to that happening means it's not cool at all. All right, Gaz. Listen, I plan on taking Theo down to the park. We had a bit of a funny idea. Don't know what you think about this.

It might be quite a fun thing for people walking past in the park. We thought we might make it a little NLD, North London Derby. You get you and your boy and your totteroo kit. We're going to come down and wrestle, Kit. Let's see what happens. Text back,

who's this? Romesh, Ranganathan? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I think that would be a real funny, fun thing to do. But the whole thing was taken...

I think you're being a bit harsh there. My point is... I wasn't there on the day. Yeah. Okay? They were very annoying. A couple of points.

I wasn't there on the day. Yeah. Second of all, what I would say is they might have saved up for ages to travel to Barcelona to do this. Sounds like they're Barcelona fans. Well, no, you make me feel like a piece of shit. I'm not making you feel like a piece of shit.

I'm just trying to give you... Look, I don't think... Number one, they had a lot of money. He was wearing a Rolex. They were well-dressed enough. Might have been gifted to him from his late father. Fucking hell. I'll tell you, I've not seen you stick up for anyone this much.

He definitely... So he's got a bit of money. He's got a bit of money. Right. His son also, his son had the air of someone who... You didn't like him, did you? You thought he was a bit spoiled,

didn't you? Yeah, he was spoiled. His son could do an outlandish amount of kick-ups. Right. That always tells me it's, you know, a certain sort of, you know, he had a bullshy way about him. Right.

He sort of, like, you know, was quite, they were pushing people, you know when people were, like, being pushed, they didn't say please, they didn't say thank you. I guess in some ways they acted like a lot of footballers. Yeah. In more than just their dress sense. This is, I mean, you are fucking throwing shade left, right and centre here. Not all footballers. You're like a lot of footballers in more than just their dress sense. This is, I mean, you are fucking

throwing shade left, right and centre here. Not all footballers. You're like a sprinkler. But I'm just saying, my point is this, right? Yeah. That,

I'm like, I don't think, I think me turning up to the football with my name on the back of my shirt, I slightly find it embarrassing if I was to have,

you know, I was going to say Declan Rice, but that breaks my heart. If I was to have you know I was going to say Dexter Rice but that breaks my heart if I was to turn around and have I don't know fucking Zuma on the back of my shirt

or Skamaka right I'd find that a little bit muggy but to have my own name like I play for them like I mean

to get even deeper well hold on what's sadder here you thinking you're Tom Davis or you thinking you're Zuma? No, no, but that's not me thinking I'm Zuma.

That's me turning around thinking, oh, I like Zuma enough as a player that I'm going to have, I'm supporting him. I think he's a brilliant player. He's my favourite player. I'm going to have his name

on the back of my shirt. I don't think I'm... As I face forward and watch the game and he'll have no fucking idea about it. No, I'll probably go,

all right, if he turns around and goes, hey. Is that what you do? Has there ever, like, you've been going to watch West Ham for years and years and years.

Has that set of circumstances ever presented itself? You know what, actually, that's a good point. I think if you get someone's name on the back of your shirt, you should wear the shirt the other way around. Yeah. Do you know what? That's a good way of dodging any embarrassment. You're right.

No, no, because so does the team. He likes West Ham, Zouma and Criss Cross. He likes West Ham, Zouma and Criss Cross. Just going to get into another thing, actually, while I talk about football. I've got an outlandish... I don't want to go back over this. By the way, in case anybody's missed a point of the story, Tom Davis was gifted a shirt from West Ham.

Yeah, yeah. All right, go on. Which I will wear in certain places. Okay. I got an outlandish amount of texts when West Ham won that cup recently. Yeah, the Europa Conference League. Yeah, saying well done and congratulations. Which I felt, I got more messages saying congratulations,

well done, you know, I couldn't be happier for you, about that than I did when my daughter was born. I thought, I had nothing, I had nothing, it's very little to do with them winning that trophy. It just shows that I think as a group of men, people value that so highly up against actual life things. People I haven't heard of for years got in touch to say, oh, well done, mate, I'm glad for you,

at last, and all this sort of stuff. But I don't get anything from them. Do you think you're a victim of maybe being the only West Ham you're a victim of maybe being the only West Ham fan that a lot of your people know?

What I mean by that is, if you support Arsenal or whatever, or Liverpool, people generally, I imagine, will

know a few Arsenal fans. Everyone's an Arsenal fan now. No, you are a well-known Arsenal fan. You've been

through the tough times. but i'm going to say now get ready mate get ready you're about to be it'll be the glory club for the next 10 years arsenal aren't going to be you know who's going to be the glory club for the next 10 years either city or maybe newcastle no no no arsenal is very cool now there's a coolness to them kim kardashian likes arsenal right that You're going to have an onslaught of people who just like Arsenal

because of that. Just watch. It's the thing that you adore is going to slightly corrode in front of you. You really are

upset about Declan Rice, aren't you? Yeah, I'm slightly, no, no, look,

enjoy him, brilliant footballer, wonderful man, love it, credit to the game. But no, and do you know what,

I'm very happy with the business we've done, but, and I would have said that before Declan and I don't think that's necessarily

a bad thing for English football right now but I know you're a very hardcore Arsenal fan it will change

because you're signing great players I think you've got a good chance I wonder if this is not a football podcast but speaking of

football podcasts yeah how's the fantasy premier league coming along I don't know how much work goes into having to

set up this you volunteered yeah I'm going to do it yeah are you going to play along because we need

to set out some like sort of forfeits if you lose and stuff like that but aren't we playing with like all the Wolfenau

listeners yeah well all three of them in message say they're looking forward to this there's been more than three I reckon there's been at least you lose and stuff like that. But aren't we playing with all the Wolfenau listeners? Yeah. Well, all three of them in message say they're looking forward to this. There's been more than three. I reckon there's been at least 15 or 20. And that's a hell of a league then. Okay. So have you looked into what you have to do? I think I could probably just do it now and then I've just

got to put league code up. I actually think what week's this going to go out, this podcast? What week? Oh yeah. Week 19. What the fuck are you talking about? When is this going to go out, this podcast? What week? Oh, yeah, week 19. What the fuck are you talking about? When is this going? It's not this week. This, actually, I should probably...

You should probably have already done it, I think. Yeah. It's 18 days from today that the podcast goes out. So, yeah. 18 days from today. We'll probably have to announce it on one of the podcasts

next week last week announce it on the podcast we've already recorded is that what you're saying yeah I think I should have done this on last week's podcast

yeah you definitely should have done right I'll do like some sort of yeah I mean we've gone into a bit

of a fucking corner here I haven't I'm buzzing about this I'm happy to talk about it as long as you like. I will do the league. I hope everyone's enjoying the league. It's up and running. If you are

interested in joining, here's the code. JT, you can put the code in. Edit it and put it in. I know that one of the biggest questions that we've ever had on The War For Now is when will our Fantasy League begin? Well, it's going to begin this weekend, which is the beginning of the season, so it seems rightly so.

But also what you'll be requiring is the key to the kingdom of Fantasy League War for Now style. So here we go. of Fantasy League Wolf and Outstar. So here we go. Here is your code. 3BGL86 That's three. A little B,

a little G, a little L, and an 86. And that is the code that she'll allow you to play with me and Romesh this season.

God bless you. And there we go. This is like a really shit version of Bill and Ted. We're up and running. Hello everyone. Just put it on Instagram. Yeah, I'll put it on Instagram, but then not everyone follows me. Then you, yeah, you'll have to put it up as well. We'll put it up on the wall for just like, what else can we do? I mean, this is genuine. You've fucked this up already. It's the truth, isn't it't it yeah but all I've got to do is set it up yeah but you haven't

yeah that's all you've got exactly that's my point all you've got to do is set it up and it takes care of itself yeah but you haven't set it up have you

oh yeah I need to do it you've been fucking pushing for this for such a long time are you going to pay attention to this yes

are you going to set it up yeah I'm going to set it up I'll set it up with JT I'm going to set it up. I'll set it up with JT this week. Why has JT got anything to do with it? Because if JT pushes me to do it, I'll do it this week.

Why has JT got to push you to do it? Because I need sometimes authority just to be on my back a bit. Why am I not authoritative? Well, yeah, but it's hard to be with you sometimes because you sort of always feel like... This is what's just happened in your brain, right? Okay. Oh, i'm absolutely on the back foot here what am i going to do i'm gonna have to take a really fucking tenuous route

to somehow turn into some rom so that he's on the back foot you're so transparent you know what happened here was you going oh god me against your ropes see if i can destroy him and i'm like i am on the ropes i'm gonna fight back a little bit. Oh, God. Anyway, you're setting it up. Yeah, it'll be set up. This week, it's the first week in the Premier League. I hope everyone's enjoyed the league. Yeah.

JT. Sorry, I'll probably do this now. Sorry that I haven't managed to put my team up yet. I will sort it out in a bit. Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle. I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know. Mom's gonna love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago.

Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only $14. $14? Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a

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Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Um, what's, are we doing emails oh look at this um i feel very yeah let's do emails okay thanks this is why i don't shoulder a lot of responsibility well you do shoulder it and then you fuck it yeah this is why i like to sort of like kick back and i'm just one probably always been like sort of like you really see yourself as You really see yourself as the luxury player on this podcast, don't you? No.

Do you know like you don't even hear stories about like TV shows or whatever and like some people did loads of prep and stuff like that and worked hard for it and there's one person that just believed they were so fucking mercurially talented that they could just rock on and do whatever. Well, like James Madison. Yeah. Yeah. Is that how you consider yourself?

No, no. I'd say I was probably more like a Harry Kane or Paul Scholes yeah and I think in a way you'd probably be more like like Nicky Butt or

no that's a good one or Manuel Petit yeah there's nothing with Manuel Petit yeah he's a great player there's nothing with Nicky Butt

this is an awful situation to be in okay this is from I don't know why the Swan has has chosen this, by the way. Nothing against the emailer, but I don't know what she's getting at. Hey, guys.

Love the show and vibes. I'm getting in touch today that Tom has inspired me to make the most of having hair. Wow. Actually, can I jump in here about this? I'd love you to, yeah. Danny Ings has just had a lot of fucking...

Everything's football. Had an amazing hair transplant I went into a rabbit hole this very morning of looking at hair clinics there's a part

of me and I've talked about this before I can't get out of my head about looking at going back in and maybe having

hair transplant can I ask you a question why am I not allowed to dye my beard and hair and you're allowed to get an actual hair transplant? Because you look really good.

You look really amazing. I look really old. You don't look old. You look good. You look... No, I think you... I actually think this look now, salt and pepper on the hair,

it looks cool, man. Genuinely. I fucking look at it now and think, I've not had hair for... I've nearly not had hair for as long as I can fucking... I think's need 10 years it's been awful and i'm like do i now going do i throw my head what happened there is you went to say i've nearly not i can't believe you're about to say this and then you packed up you're about to say you're about to say that this is what you're about to say no this is what you're about to say you're about to say I'm nearly not

out of air we're about to say about time so I'm out of air no but then you realise I was so far from the fucking

dream no but then I was trying to work out as a baby how long I didn't have hair I was like I thought

oh that's only 12 about 12 years it only started to grow only 12, about 12 years. It only started to grow when you were about 12, 13. No, but... You had it for about 20 years. I think,

I think, I don't know. I keep thinking about it. Okay. But how does it work? What are you going to do? You're like, people know that you're bald.

Yeah, but then, like, fucking hell, man, Rob Holding's hair. Right. Right. That's a hair transplant, right? Yeah. Like, you look at... Okay, let me just stop you there. Yeah. but then, like, fucking hell, man, Rob Holding's hair. Right. Right. That's a hair transplant, right? Yeah.

Okay, let me just stop you there. Yeah. You went, that's a hair transplant, right? Okay. So there's an element of doubt. I'm going to tell you something now. If you have a hair transplant, there will be no doubt. No, no.

Nobody will go. Rob Holding is the picture, like poster boy, of hair transplants now. You can literally go to the place that he's had his done. He's the king of hair transplants now. Okay. Wayne Rooney's had his done. There's a few allegedly I could throw into the mix, which I won't, right?

Because I might be libelous. But there's so many people. Look, I know that I'm known as a bald guy I wouldn't it's not something I'd just go oh no I haven't

it's just all grow back but there's a thing in the mix where I look at it and think I never probably made enough

of having hair can you talk me through your motivation for getting hair what's the thought process so sometimes I'll chat to you

and we'll be walking down the street and you'll still go oh fucking hell my hair looks so messy today right I'll chat to you and we'll be walking down the street and you'll still go oh fucking hell my hair looks so messy today right I'll say it like that right and I think

that's such a like I'd love to be I'd love to be able to jump in the sea just one more time and sort of come out my hair's all over the place and push it back out of my eyes right

you know I'd love to yeah okay I understand that to have a transplant to make that happen seems a bit mad to me. Yeah, yeah, but just the look of having hair again,

I genuinely... When do you get one of those hair systems that you glue to your scalp? That's a ridiculous thing. Why is it ridiculous? Because that's all... I want my real hair, but I don't want a fucking wig that's stuck on. Fuck me. That would be fucking bleak

no but people can't tell people can tell they can't mate mate I've watched loads of TikToks of this

mate I'm telling you you can't tell on a TikTok or on some crappy old phone or device you might not be able I tell you what mate someone rocks you

into a room and they've got a glued on fucking wig you're telling literally there's no way in the world that you're not going to clock that okay fine i'm just saying now it's something that's and this email now has made me managed to get to the end of paragraph one yeah no but the paragraph one is

opened up actually it was a sentence one um i'm getting in touch to tell you that tom's inspired me to make the most of having hair he mentioned that if he had hair again he would try wacky hairstyles and just go wild with it this This is another reason why you shouldn't get a transplant. So my wife bleached my hair last night. I've gone full Ken and I love it. It makes me smile every time I look in the mirror. I think I'm going to dye it purple soon. I guess my question to both of you is, what hairstyles would you be open to?

Women typically have a lot more opportunity to experiment with hair, but I'm hoping I can break that stigma in my local area. Can we lay down the gauntlet for the owl to be more frivolous with his fabulous follicles? Maybe those luscious locks could take some bleach. Could the mane be mulletised? Pics of before and after attached. I've gone from a puny grizzly bear to a puny polar bear. So let me just show you the photo.

We're not going to put it up, but this is just for your benefit. That's the before and after. Look how happy he is with his new haircut. I know. Something small like that. Do you know how sad it is that I'll never be able to that's like for you

going like you'll never be able to eat a certain food or never be able to sort of like dip your toes in the sea or you know

I look at it now like that question right is completely what can I say to that I might shave my hair a little bit shorter or I might even grow out the sides

and leave the top fucking bald. You should do that. No, that's all the options I've got. I might try and look more like a fucking sex offender. It's like, you've got so many options in front of you. Tom, I haven't. You have. Oh, right.

Answer me this question, right? You could do a side parting. That'd look fucking cool. It wouldn't. Why? Well, okay, fine, it might it might but listen it would look fucking epic if i i want you to imagine for me right what would you do yeah apropos of nothing yeah i walk in the next time we do record and i'm completely blonde like they're doing a bollywood demolition man. What would you... I'd respect you. Really?

Really? Because I think you'd probably carry it off. I'm not saying anything about... Who's this from, actually? Oh, he's not signed off. Look. I know, that's what he's signing off as. Puny greasy bear to puny polar bear.

Right. I've had... Back in the day, I had my hair dyed blonde. I think that's probably what's on the reason. I don't want to make him worry, but that's what's on the reason I might have lost my hair. Oh, my God. No, it's a bad bleach job.

Right. It never really came back from there. But for you, no, I don't. Look, bleach blonde hair probably would be a big call, unless you did your beard as well. No, I think it would look fucking absolute. Who's that guy who used to play for Liverpool? Oh, Cissé. Yeah, yeah. it would look fucking absolute who's that guy who used to play for Liverpool oh Cissé

yeah yeah that would look fucking dope right so yeah but you've got all these different things you can do

that's what I worry about now I worry like I think I just think I'd love to be able to go for a night

out and gel my hair back like Michael Collier from The Godfather okay well you keep thinking about that thank you so much

very much shall we do one more yeah let's do one more my baby Afternoon Both this is from oh I'm just going to

leave it anonymous Afternoon Both hope you could settle a little debate for me that split our thinking down the pub it's currently 3-2 so this is either

tip the favour one way or solidify the win very simple exactly two weeks ago I was asked to take a parcel in for the neighbour I'd say it's roughly the same size or shape as a microwave down the pub. It's currently 3-2, so this will either tip the favour one way or solidify the win. Very simple. Exactly two weeks ago, I was asked to take a parcel in for the neighbour. I'd say it's roughly the same size or shape as a microwave. Square box, medium size, fairly heavy.

Could have been a TV. Yes. Here's the thing. My neighbour, who I'm not the biggest fan of anyway, has not been around to collect the parcel. It's been sat in my hallway ever since. I know he knows I've got it.

He made reference to it a few days after it was first delivered and he said he'd nip round soon but be a good postie and keep it safe. Two weeks later and here we are. Parcel isn't really getting in my way but it's slightly annoying it's still here. The question is, what's the play here? I'm on team, it's

his parcel, it shouldn't be me to deliver it to him. Place is not exactly next door but a good seven to eight houses down. Others think, just take him as parcel. I don't think the onus is on me, but I'm losing the argument through two. Thoughts, please, chaps. I mean, if he's not getting

in your way, I'd just put it up in your loft. If you've got a loft. Yeah, sounds like you probably would have a loft if I'm thinking about the sort of layout

of the 37 to his houses. I'd put it somewhere that's really, really tricky to get down, wait for him to come round and say, oh, is it alright if I get my parcel and say, oh, sorry, I didn't know you needed it. I'd put it up that's really, really tricky to get down, wait for him to come round and say, oh, is it all right if I get my parcel and say, oh, sorry, I didn't know you needed it.

I put it up in my loft. That's where I put all the old shit that's just sitting around for over a week. Wow, that feels a bit aggy, man. And also, it's not something that you would do, is it? Well, no, this is different. He doesn't like the guy. I'd walk it to the person's house the day it was delivered. No, I would.

I'd go and knock and say, oh, we have parcels here. Yeah. I'd do that without a hesitant... I thought that's what I'd always do. As soon as I literally would get home, that would be the thing I'd do. So that's your advice then, isn't it?

Why are you giving him advice that you wouldn't... Because he's got a running... He's at war with this guy. He said I'm not the biggest fan of. Yeah, and also he's now got himself in a real predicament. Because it's two weeks, three weeks down the line. So he doesn't know if the other fella, he's going to drop this down,

the man with the microwave, isn't down the pub with his mates, and they're 3-2 at the moment, and he's going, should I go and pick it up? And they go, no, leave it down there. Let him bring it down to you. He doesn't know that this Mexican standoff could go on for months, years.

Before you know it, microwaves won't even be a thing. And, like, they'll be old men, and they'll just be fucking, they'll pass each other one day in the street or the park or an old shopping precinct. And they'll go, hello, mate, how are you? And he'll go, you remember back in 2023, I took in a microwave for you. And it's like, oh, that wasn't actually a microwave. It was a pedal bean or something like that.

And yeah, but anyhow, my point is this. And in a standoff that he's in now, he's in a war. And once you're in a war, you're in a war. So he has to fucking, he has to sort of escalate this. Otherwise, he'll be known, like, you know, the guy who gave in on the street. Yes, and God forbid that happens. What would you do?

Parcel gets taken into your house. How long do you leave it before you take it to someone's house? I'm going to say this now. I'm not a confrontational person. It is never coming to your house. Well, hold on. So what, would you straight away drop it to, would you drop it straight to coming to your house well hold on so what do you would you straight away drop it to would you drop it straight to the person's house no no what i'm

saying to you is if you don't pick it up you're never getting it all right so you yeah you keep it it's not because i'm trying to be firm it's because this person lives seven or eight houses down right okay if this person discovers yeah that if it if they're not in and it gets delivered to another house that you will bring it to them whenever they're they're in the next time welcome to them putting your address in on amazon and fucking exclusively ordering it to your house right like the fact of the matter is you do not want to set that precedent i've done that through everywhere i've lived. What do you mean? Well, I always just take it down someone's house

and knock on the door. Well, I don't know how the place where you used to live is getting their parcels now. No, but it's... I thought that was a... Generally, I thought it was a neighbourly thing to do. It is a neighbourly thing to do, but like... Like the parcel comes to your house,

it's in my house, and it feels like I'm essentially a bit like, you know, in a, like you know in a like I don't know fucking Lord of the Rings or whatever

when Gandalf's got to look after all the fucking hobbits right he's in is that what you think that film's

about yeah that's that's where I'm at now the postman or the fucking Amazon guy

has gone listen you're in charge of this now mate that's for you like you've got to look after this until the person comes back home.

Okay, my friend, I fucking got it. I look out the window, I see the car pull into the drive. Well, that's my problem. If somebody turned up at my house, said, notice you'd arrived. Okay, now we've got ourselves a little problem here. Why are you observing when I return home? That would put me on edge. I question a lot of my choices like tom let me just stop you there it's a nice thing of you today yeah yeah really nice yeah but i think i'm not saying in terms of like

you know being a prick or whatever the etiquette is if your parcel gets delivered somewhere else you've got to collect you go collect it i don't think it's on you to go and take it to them. Yeah, so yeah. No, but now you're saying that, it makes sense. But now I look at it and think, I'm glad I've moved house because I haven't had to take anyone's parcel in my new house. No, you've got an opportunity.

Yeah, I'm starting over, mate. I'm starting over. If only you'd had the hair transplant before you moved to the new street. But my point being this is did everyone else at the fucking

do you think my address got put down then as place to leave you at the box no I was no no

your address but I was leave with number 12 maybe I'm saying that there's a I would say there's a good chance

that's sad isn't it well genuinely there's days when I had to i don't think there's anything wrong with that if they've asked you in advance i can tell you now there was times where like three or four different houses i'd have like different parcels delivered and i'd genuinely have to then go right oh yeah okay all right well listen I hope that helps we both think keep the parcel yeah good luck to you

I wouldn't go as aggressively as putting it in the loft and again I'll get that old box of shit for you down or whatever as Tom was

suggesting but good luck all right Tomo can you please take us out? These get harder and harder when you've got to do them back to back. Okay, here we go. The rain fell hard.

Harder than you've ever known. And on a window pane, two drops slammed against the window and slowly started working their way down. One would go faster than slow. The other would catch it up and go in front of it. And faster and slower they did until they hit the windowsill. Inside the house was Bobo the dog. He stared outside, knowing that his walk was off that day.

And he barked and barked. His owner looked at him thinking maybe he's barking because he wants to go out or maybe he's scared of the rain. But Bobo wasn't barking that at all. He was barking at the raindrop on the right, almost in support, thinking go a little faster, be the first one to make it to the windowsill. Like he's watching a game of tennis or football or some other sport that involves two teams or players. The fact of the matter is this, sometimes in life you can hear shouting or arguing, people getting aggressive, and you don't really know why but you make a presumption and that presumption could be right

or it could be wrong and actually the thing to do in those situations is try and understand what's the dog looking at oh he's looking at the window and the drops and just try for a second to get into the mind of Bobo

in any situation it might not be the thing that you thought it was. Really good. Really, really good. Thank you. You're a deep one there. I don't think, yeah. Yeah, really deep. Now, thank you so much for listening to The Wall for now.

Every now and again, sometimes I try and play new stuff to The Wolf for now. Every now and again. Sometimes I try and play new stuff to take the show out. Sometimes I play stuff that I've just been reminded is an absolute banger. Taking us out of the show today, we're going to go with Bon Jovi, Living on a Prayer. Wow. A little bit of a sing-along for you to take out the episode. Take care of yourselves.

And, yeah, love, really. Yeah, absolutely. Bye-bye. of yourselves and yeah love really yeah absolutely bye bye she says we gotta hold on to what we've got it doesn't make a difference if we make

it or not we got each other and that's a lot for love we'll give it a shot oh we're halfway there. Oh, living on a prayer.

Take my hand, we'll make it, I swear. Oh, living on a prayer. Yeah. if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com that's wolf alpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you