Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 65: Confetti Cannons & Lost Keys

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

We’re talking… confetti cannons, new W&O Live dates, a carvery gold card, the similarities between carrots and lemmings, new boxer shorts, lost house key conundrums, night pisses, deep-fried boiled eggs and early stand-up travel missions. Apologies for Rom’s poor sound quality - we had some serious technical gremlins on this one. New Wolf & Owl Live date! Thursday 2nd November at the Hammersmith Apollo, London. Sign up to our mailing list at wolfandowlpod.com before 9am on Thursday 14th to get access to the pre-sale. Pre-sale starts 10am Thursday 14th September - General sale at 10am Friday 15th September. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back! Roll your way into prizes like coffee, donuts, and even $60 Tim's gift cards! Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply, Canada only, no purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. Today... Something is coming. Kong, Godzilla, they can feel it. Fight together.

We're teaming up! Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters. Yo. Yo what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or

feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Then podcast the body parts. Get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog um welcome to the world for now this is the world for now welcome to the world for now this is the world for now with the world for now come to town we're doing a podcast for you this is the world for now

hello the world for now what do you think do you reckon you could do that for 45 minutes yeah you want me to if you can't be asked this is the World Finale. Welcome to the World Finale. We've come to tell some stories that we're not really sure if will work. We have not prepared anything content-wise, but we are just going to chat along, and hopefully you guys will like it. Oh, it didn't really scan. Yeah, that last bit. Yeah, you really petered out.

Yeah, it felt like almost your heart had sort of like slowly drifted away from it. I've got some news for you, Tom. Hit me, baby. On the 2nd of November, The Wolf and Al are going to be doing a live show at Hammersmith's glorious Eventum Apollo. That was me doing like a confetti cannon.

Tom, Tom, Tom. What? Tom, you made a shape with your mouth like you can do an explosion i paused for that explosion and then you just silently opened your hands no no i went like that didn't you hear me i went no go what is that i can't hear anything do it again do it again I cannot I'm not I can't hear anything do the noise again

can you hear me talking now yeah what is that I can't I can't hear anything you can't hear anything maybe on the record it'll come up with something

is it like is it you know the little it's me doing like an explosion no I can see what you're doing but it's like a very quiet explosion yeah I didn't want to go too mad because it's just going into're doing but it's a very quiet explosion yeah i

didn't want to go too mad because it's just going into people's ears it's not going to their noses mate yeah sure but silence is you're going like this this is what i would do you hear that did you hear that no you didn't hear that you didn't hear anything no you didn't hear anything? No. You didn't hear that? No. Are you winding me up now? Are you winding me up? No, are you winding me up? You didn't hear anything? I swear on my life I didn't hear.

So obviously these mics don't pick up that kind of sound. All right. JT, can you add in a couple of explosion sounds? Yeah, JT. Yeah, yeah. Can you just make it sound really epic, please? On the 2nd of november the wolf and al are going to be doing a live show at hammersmith's glorious event in apollo

so uh the show's on the 2nd of november uh thursday the 14th of September. If you sign up to the mailing list before the Thursday, the 14th, you get access to the pre-sale. And the mailing list is at wolfenowpod.com. The pre-sale starts at 10 a.m. on Thursday, the 14th of September. And general sale is at 10 a.m. Friday, the 15th of September. So sign up before Thursday pre-sale starts at 10am

on that Thursday and then the general sale on the Friday and then probably the show getting pulled because we haven't promoted it properly on the Saturday

I imagine it's the biggest show we've done so far Ron is it? yeah I think so oh yeah it is and in answer

to the question why are you doing it in London again it's a great question uh we are going to be doing shows elsewhere in the country so stay tuned stay alert stay on the edge of your seats um and that's exciting that's very exciting it's very exciting if you are on the edge of your seat listener i'd love you to stay on the edge of your god if you're on the edge of your seat listener i'd love you to stay on the edge of your god if you're on the edge of your sickness now i'd love you to stay on the edge

of your seat because i i have got something that i want to talk to you about tom now on the last episode of the wolf and al uh you told a delightful story uh about uh going to toby carver and in fact somebody made the comment uh on the when we posted about the about the episode going out somebody said there seems to be something wrong with my episode the first 25 minutes it seems to be an advert for toby's carvery toby now i uh we talked about toby carvery for for a while you talked about going to the going to the restaurant waiting for the the carvery thing to start i thought i was involved in a real conversation however on sat on Saturday night, I then, and I've got some other things I need to say about Saturday night.

In fact, let's get this out of the way. The first thing that I want to say about Saturday night. There's another thing I want to say, so please remind me. The first thing I want to say about Saturday night is I, the Swan and I came to watch you on Saturday night. Yeah. And I watched a remarkable stand-up show. It was, I was so nervous for you, not because I thought you weren't going to be

good, but because obviously watching a mate, it's like watching a kid or something, you know, one of your kids do a performance at a big venue and you were unbelievable, man. It was like, I mean,

it was actually sickening how much Lisa loved it. I mean, like it was quoting bits on the way home and shit like that. So that was annoying. However, we then went to a curry afterwards. Can I say, by the way, the curry was, look, I love Gratz. Gratz was under a lot of pressure to book that curry house. No, we know that Gratz listens to this podcast, so be careful.

No, no, Gratz is a superstar and he was under a lot of pressure. And also it was a Saturday night. He had to, you know, I personally thought it was okay. It was good. It was good. It was under a lot of pressure and also it was a saturday night he had to you know i personally thought it was okay it was good it was good it was in the shopping center it was in a shopping center it was which was a weird vibe to it i i i enjoyed it it gave you the experience of going to eat in a food court yeah yeah it's a food court vibe to it um yeah but you i mean i had a bit of a, I had to bring out the pebble the next day. Well, I would say that the next morning

up until about one in the afternoon was a write-off for me. You know, without getting into too much detail, I think you get what I mean. It was a... Yeah, yeah. It was a write-off. However, that's not what I want to talk about.

That's not the reason I brought it up. I'm really out of the state of execution for me. I'll be honest with you. I didn't want you to bring that up, but you have done. So, um, what I,

what I want to bring up is the fact that at the meal, you revealed that you are the recipient of a Toby Carvery gold card. Right. Yeah. And essentially what happened was I was maneuvered into, cause I don't have a gold card. I don't have a bronze. I don't have any card at Toby Carvery.

Right. Yeah. But right. Let me just say, but what's happened, what's happened is you have, I have in good faith. I thought I was going into pocket.

I thought, okay, still met Toby Carvery. Thank God. We've got something to talk about here because we're often scratching around as people, people who've listened to it regularly will know. So we've got ourselves a Toby Carvery chat here. i innocently enough wanted to pick up toby carvery because sometimes

you know a vegan or a vegetarian might not think there's an option now i went by the way can i say that i thought it was amazing how you spoke no no no don't talk innocently now because the way you said it on the night was and i know you're putting some stank on it for the benefit of the chat when we were at the restaurant but the way you said it was oh night was, and I know you're putting some stank on it for the benefit of the chat when we were at the restaurant, but the way you said it was, I couldn't bloody believe it. I just thought I'd start a little chat about it, and you start banging on it like a vegan vegetarian. I thought, this advert's going better than I thought. So basically

what happened was, if you've got this gold card, you've pretended to want to talk about Toby Carvery. No, no, no, I did want to talk about it, and Jim will testify. The story was true. Jim said that he dropped me. I went to Toby Carvery for lunch. said that I went to Toby Carvery for lunch. Yeah, you went to Toby Carvery for lunch, but I was under the impression the reason you went to Toby Carvery for lunch

is because you genuinely enjoy Toby Carvery. I love Toby Carvery. Yeah, sure. But you love it more when it's free. No, no, no. I did pay for that one. Well, I don't know what to believe now. I did pay for that one, I swear.

That one. And then I got the gold card. Really? Yeah. Really? So I posted about it about it oh my god what did you post i didn't miss this post a picture of the empty plate oh my god are you happy with yourself i did a picture of the empty plate was just like fueling dreams or something like thank you toby carvery i mean i didn't i didn't think there's much worse than somebody taking a photo of their meal. But taking a photo of the empty plate after they finish their meal

really is fucking snake's belly time. Yeah. I always think having a picture of an empty plate shows the viewer of the picture that you've eaten it all. So they go, fucking hell, it must be nice. You finished the plate.

I understand the symbolism of it. I had to scrape a couple because I didn't finish all the carrots. So I had to scrape a couple because I didn't finish all the carrots. So I had to scrape a couple of carrots into my old coffee cup. So we now know that this is bullshit as well. You're essentially the George Clooney of Toby Carvery.

No, I loved it, but I put too many carrots on my plate. That is something I never thought I'd hear you say. The carrots I found They're almost like Lemmings of a roast dinner What does that mean? If you're struggling towards the end

And you're like I've got to finish these potatoes Because they're simply delicious You're never ever going to leave a Yorkshire pudding stand in But carrots can Carrots can Why is that like lemmings? Well, because lemmings just are ineffective,

aren't they? They run off cliffs and stuff. Well, lemmings just run off cliffs and stuff. What's that got to do with leaving carrots on your plate? Well, carrots, they're easily just forgotten about.

They're easily just sort of like left, you know, to their own devices. Like lemmings? Yeah, yeah. Because like, if you leave a lemming,

what does it do? I don't know. I don't even think I've seen it. Have you never played lemmings? I've Like Lemmings? Yeah, yeah. Because if you leave a Lemming, what does it do? I don't know. I don't even think I've seen... Have you never played Lemmings? I've played Lemmings, but I don't base my sort of biological understanding of creatures

on what I've seen them do in a fucking 90s video game. Mate, but no one even know what a Lemming was if it wasn't for a computer game. Yeah, and they still don't know what a Lemming is

because what they're not is little beige creatures with green hair. Aren't they? No. I just... After Fly Maggot Gate, I thought you'd be wary

of stepping into this sort of territory. No, but I'm not... But surely there must... Small rodents. Look, let me show you. That's a lemming. Hold on.

Put it in front of the camera. What the fuck's that? Hold on. Yeah, all right. Well, let me show you. That's a lemming. Hold on, put it in front of the camera. What the fuck's that? Hold on. Well, yeah, I mean, there's much like the ones that they... Why do they have the green hair? I guess because they wanted to make it more interesting for the game. Yeah, and also it's sort of like

less traumatising than seeing an actual thing that looks like a real animal falling off a cliff. Yeah, I suppose as well. Because they don't wear little jackets and stuff and hard hats. I think you're thinking of the Fraggles.

I swear to the livings. Actually, you know what? I might get that game and play it. It was one of my favourite games back in the day. Yeah, but what I would do is don't take any of that

as sort of like fact fact animal wise but i feel bad about the toby carl but you know who loves toby carvery anyone that gets a gold card the swan yeah this one does like toby carver yeah when i brought it up i've never seen her so excited no me neither and i've been with her for 15 years she was so yeah it was quite sweet yeah it was very sweet. Yeah, she didn't seem to be as outraged as I was for some reason. Yeah, but you had like three bottles of Cobra and you were sort of like gagging for a fight.

You had a vibe to you. Do you know what? I've started wearing a new boxer shirt. Right? I won't say a new boxer short. Right. I won't say the name of the brand. You won't say the name of the brand? No, no, no, no. Because I'm not 100% about if I like them or not.

All right. It's basically got an envelope piece in the boxer short for your willy. Yeah, I've got those. Yeah, how are you finding them? I love it. Really? Yeah. Like a little kind of little separate pouch yeah just for you yeah yeah i love it do you not like it i'm not sure i just feel

like it's better than having your sort of smished against your body like a burglar with some tights on its head i mean like i i sort of like the fact that you I feel like it's more breathable and nice. Yeah, I'm feeling like I'm just not getting into it. It feels like, if I'm honest with you, it feels like separating a double act. What's that? Well, my Willie and my Bulls have always sat side by side, right? They've always been a pair.

Is it side by side? No, the Willie's obviously... Does your dick and Bull balls look like the side of Peppa Pig's head? No, my penis is at the front, right? Very much leading the line. Okay, okay. And then my balls are behind. But they've always just

been together. And all of a sudden, I don't know, I felt, I don't know how comfortable I felt. I mean, they're not that far away. You're acting like the penis gets stored around the back or something. I mean, it's still very much in the same position that it normally is. It's easy in the morning when you first do it, right? And then every time we go to the toilet, you've then got to put it back in this little holster thing.

It's quite a strange feeling, isn't it? I'm beginning to stop believing that we're talking about the same thing here. It doesn't require a separate movement for me. You just pull the box shorts on and your penis slots in. I'm not having to insert it into the pouch. Maybe I've got a cheaper version. You must have. I mean, what do you have to do?

Unzip a little separate hatch or something? No, you don't unzip. I fucking know. A zip would be nice. No, you have to sort of maneuver it a little bit to get it in there and it feels a bit like a wonder bar bra for a penis yeah okay it's sort of yeah no do you notice is your bulge noticeably bigger than yeah yeah yeah that's a positive thing isn't it well isn't it isn't because I know the truth yeah so yeah you feel like I'm a bit of a sort of, I don't know,

sort of like a bawdy villain from a sort of cruddy film. Mm. I don't know what that even means. No. I've had a bit of hangover today, if I'm going to be honest with you. Yeah, well, we're both, listen, full disclosure, listeners, we're both coming off a league of their own record. I had a harrowing experience last night when I got home.

So did you stay for a drink afterwards? I stayed for, yeah, I had a couple of beers with the team. I was shocked because there was literally no one else there at the end. Jamie was there and everyone else had just slipped away into the night. No, I had to go because, I don't know why i had to go but anyway i had to go so um uh so i got i got got home as i pulled up at my house my phone died right which is not the end of the world that happens a lot yeah when i got to the door i realized i didn't have my key and now my phone was dead right so i sort of didn't know what to do.

Have you got quite loud doorbell? Like quite a showy doorbell. We don't have a doorbell. No, the doorbells on the, the door, there is a doorbell, but the doorbell is really loud. So like, I mean, like quite a sort of light. So I don't, I don't want to say, so when the postman rings or the Amazon guy gets there, he's like, oh, fucking hell, this house is as grand as its doorbell.

The doorbell is as grand as the house. Like Wayne Manor kind of doorbell. Yeah, it takes a bit of strength because it's basically like a little bell hanging out of a lion's mouth. You have to really give it a bit of a whack. But anyway, so I didn't want to do... The gong. You've just got a big gong out the front.

I didn't want to do the doorbell because, obviously, I didn't want to do... The gong. You've just got a big gong out the front. I didn't want to do the doorbell because obviously I didn't want to wake up the children. So I was trying to think about what to do. And I went round the back of the house and I was like, I was trying back, like the back door or whatever, but that was locked, thank God. I mean, that would have been,

it set off another spiral that our house is not secure. So that was all fine. And then I thought, what do i do how do i wake up lisa without waking up the children that was a dilemma i found myself with i for about five minutes i contemplated just sleeping outside because it was actually quite warm last night yeah it's nice so i thought i'm just going to find a little bit to nestle up against the house one of the outbuildings outbuildings i was just going to like there's like basically there's a little bit to nestle up against the house one of the outbuildings out buildings i was just gonna like there's like basically there's a little sort of between the garage and the and the house

there's like a little kind of corridor a bit that's sheltered so i was thinking i'm just gonna sleep there and then i i'll you know hopefully i'll wake up as lisa's doing a school drop off or whatever and then run out and go, I know you're worried about me. I know that's genuine. I mean, this is what, this is where the desperation took me.

I was like, so that's something I don't know what else to do here. And I was thinking, Lisa's going to wake up in the middle of the night. She's going to wonder where I am. She's going to call me. My phone will be dead. That'd be terrifying.

That's what I mean. She's one of the last warriors as well. Yeah. Well, I guess, you know, I think if somebody wakes up at 3 a.m and husband unannounced is not home she phones their phone and then it's dead i think it's fair to worry isn't it i can't imagine anyone go you've overreacted a bit there do you mean that feels like a legitimate did you not think about like going old school and like just getting sort of like some small little pebbles and throwing them out her window well that's very close to what i did actually but because so then i started thinking

i'm just going to go walk to a hotel there's a hotel like two minutes walk from our house but i'm just going to walk in there and go can i have a room for the night and have you got a charger and then i thought that's a bit weird you know what i'd have done if i was you actually just asked for the charger instead of the room charge my phone for a bit yeah because I reckon they'd have given you a charger because you're you're a nice guy and you could have sort of had a bit of a laugh I sort of I feel a bit awkward about stuff like that in the situation you're in yeah but you've got to think I know I know but I also you know I even feel I feel awkward about using the pub toilet if I'm not having a drink you know when you're desperate I always pretend I'm on the phone yeah you know

what you should do is buy a lime and soda because pubs are on their ass at the moment that's a great you go in you have a lime and soda you down it no there's never

situation like that and the margins on limes I mean that'll probably that probably makes them worth opening for the day doesn't it well yeah yeah get that or

awesome scampi fry or you can't imagine actually having said that I was being a bit facetious there but the markup on the site on the soda out the little gun yeah markup on that's probably huge right well i think i think that that might be i'd love to know from i mean i used to be a publican so i don't know why i don't know this but i'd love to know if the that's the most profitable thing because like restaurants they make most of the money on drinks right yeah i think it's like two pounds there on it for a lime and soda pint isn't like you know mr whippy the ice cream bands

or whatever yeah isn't the ratio of ingredients cost to how much you charge for the ice cream like 1 to 99 or something you're joking i think it's something like that it's like for every penny of ingredients it's a quid's worth of sales i think fucking i think it sounds like i'm doing down ice cream but i think ice cream i think ice cream bands are one of the great things about this country yeah i know they exist in other countries but i think did i do the vegan mr whippy no i've never come across a vegan mr whippy that's the show i normally go for one of those magnums they normally have a vegan magnet they're nice're nice, the vegan magnum. They are nice, yeah. Anyway, we've digressed away from this.

Where were we talking about? Oh, yeah. How you got into your house. So you figure out how to go to the hotel. So I'm thinking about going to the hotel. You rule that out. I think, I just, my concern is Lisa waking up and wondering what the hell's going on, right?

Yeah. So I go round to the back of the house. It takes me longer than i'd like to admit to figure out which window is our window right i'm sort of thinking like what i don't want to be is shouting or throwing stones at one of the kids windows right so i i walk i basically walked around to the front of the house and around to the back of the house i'd say four to five times to double make 100 make sure that i was at the back of the house I'd say four to five times to double make 100% make sure that I was at the right room

right well you know what that's conscientious and I think that's a very sweet side of you well I just think the kids are fucking terrified aren't they

yeah yeah but also they would definitely go and run and wake up Lisa yeah they would I mean it would solve the problem but in a way but also it's like

two for one then because Lisa's going to wake up and go oh fuck where's Romesh because there's some pervert outside throwing stones at the windows yeah so then well i decided against throwing stones at the windows um because well i just had this vision of smashing the window right so yeah but if you get have you got have you not i thought you had a little um sort of like gravel yeah we drive away

we do those little stones that's why those stones are on people's drives like driveways to throw at windows yeah if you get locked out yeah that's literally the perfect stone if i've thrown them at windows many a times yeah and they'll never break a window that is you have my guarantee on that that's pretty much why they're there okay that's good that's good to know but i've got to be honest with you my ass completely went you know i was i was like i didn't know what i was i was like i basically accepted that i might be staying outside the night anyway i stood outside the window luckily at least i had the windows open because it was hot last night and i had to both alert her attention but also not wake up the children so

i made the decision to whisper loudly now this poor woman is just lying in bed and here's what i guess she must have assumed in sort of a half-awake state that it was the ghost of her husband come to think i just sort of started going lisa lisa it does sound like some creepy Lisa! Lisa! Lisa! It does sound like some creepy, weird bloke that she's chased her down. Anyway, she comes to the window looking utterly perplexed.

The joy I felt at seeing Lisa's face at the window, like my own Juliet. And I said to her, can you come downstairs? I mean, I'll to her can you come downstairs I mean I'll be honest with you when I said I've not got the key her sort of confusion quickly to switch to anger obviously well completely understandable to minister I mean had you left the key at work or had you left it at home no what I'd done was which is what I frequently do is wear a pair of

jeans put the keys in there I come in I throw jeans somewhere, and then the next day I forget to check that I've got the keys in my pocket and then head out. So that's what happened. So anyway, that story needed a better ending, arguably. But that is... Did she give you a big cuddle and she was like, I'm so worried, hey? Do you know what?

She wasn't worried about me at all because after the league records, it's very unpredictable and I'm going to get in anyway. What would say is we did have a lovely it was really nice really lovely it was actually nice to because some a lot of the time she's asleep when i get in yeah and then she'll sort of she'll sort of look across at me be satisfied that i'm there and then just turn around and go back to sleep yeah but it's because i've been inconsiderate enough to wake her up we actually did a nice little kind of post-match chat. And I'm going to be honest with you. I mean,

I enjoyed it so much. I'm contemplating waking up after every record. Yeah. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world. We share to each other. I am future. I wait in the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo.

Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at cirquetusoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo, thanks to its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. At Enterprise, we know you're constantly on the move. Getting this. Thanks, Mom.

Fixing that. You reach a destination. And then it's on to the next. And when life is moving at the speed of, well, life, Enterprise is right there with you, around the corner and around the globe. We'll keep you moving forward. Enterprise. For lives and drive. So let's be clear.

When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay, but what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx. Oh, but let's say that...

FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx, where now meets next. I got home. I'd had a few beers.

And, yeah, I mean, I didn't forget my keys. So Catherine very much did the sort of Lisa move of just making sure I'm there and then turning around. I can't sleep now if I've had like three beers yeah I know I what how many times you wake up for the tour I wake up for the toilet if I've got a few beers and wake it I'm up at least three or four times mmm it's not literally like I know this is a bit of a cliche thing to talk about but the desire if my brain during that night piss which is i wouldn't describe as frequent but i'd say like most nights i'm up once i would say yeah yeah every night i'm up once yeah usually about 3 30 yeah if i go through the night without needing

the piss i see that as a i'll have a special breakfast you know because i'm proud of myself yeah right so most nights i'm going if you have a dry breakfast, you know, cause I'm proud of myself. Yeah. Right. So most nights I'm going. If you have a dry night, that's what it's known as. Oh yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And sometimes, you know, a couple of issues. One is I start thinking about what I've got to do that day.

I need to stop my break. I need to get to the toilet, have a piss, get back to bed without my brain clicking onto any of those things. Because if it does, that's me done. Whatever time it is, I'm not going back to sleep. The other thing is, is sometimes I'm in bed and I'm woken up by the need to take a piss. And for some reason, and I've never won this battle, but I still have this thing where I try and convince myself I can, I can go back to sleep without going for a piss. I just sort of think to myself if you focus

this feeling will go away and you go back to sleep. And I have an internal debate which takes about, I would say, a rough estimate of 20 minutes before I eventually relent and go for a piss. And I think, I don't know why, I've never won that battle, I don't know why I keep going to war with the need

to take a piss. You know what it is, bro? You can't fight a battle against your body in any way. Your body is stronger than your mind. Although, in an arm wrestle, you'll never win. And your bladder is probably the strongest organ in your body. I mean, it's very difficult to quantify that. Right. I can't think of anything else in my body where I go off.

If my hand twitches, I can stop it twitching. Yeah, I would say your hand's not an organ. But go on. Carry on, Dr. Tom. But if my bladder is full, I don't need to wait. I've tried like you. I've tried so many times. Now I've just made my peace with it.

Even the worst ones, right? If you go through a wait and then you get back into bed, you start drifting back off and then you need literally five minutes there. And then another week you go back and it's like the tiniest little dribble. But you know that that little dribble

would turn into a flood if you didn't let it out. Have you ever, this is quite grim what I'm about to say. Have you ever had sex very close to after having a way yeah yeah right so it does something to your valve like like what i found is if you go for a way and then you have sex very soon afterwards you then feel like you need to have a way for quite a long time after you have sex. Have you ever had that? Yeah, I have had that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's something like, I think, yeah. I think in that situation, your penis is like, oh, my God, what is going on here? Yeah, it's all go today. Yeah. I'm just going to stay open. Anyway, through this, I keep getting arsed. Every time I try and have a rest, something else is going on.

It's like a busy day on the... Bloody hell. Bloody hell. Busy day on the deli counter. It's got erections as weaned. Honestly, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I'm looking at the other body just going, how can I have had to put a shift in tonight?

Yeah. I would say that the heart is probably the strongest organ. I don't... I think, yeah, the heart doesn't get enough credit for what it does. I think it does,

mate. I mean, it's talked about excessively and it's like, I mean, people focus on the heart. Yeah, but it's,

mate, the heart, like, the heart's working all the time for you. Yeah. Never has a second off until it doesn't and then you're not,

yeah, yeah. So, yeah, but the heart, I'm never going to fight against. No. Well, let's see. against no well let's see i mean let's see how many tobias you put away

there's there's an argument that your lifestyle has been a 44 year old fight with your heart. My dad died of a heart attack, right? Yeah. And like, it was, it was, it was a surprise. Like, you know, he died suddenly. But when you look at the way that guy lived his life, I mean, I've talked, I think I've talked about this before. The guy used to deep fry boiled eggs.

What? Yeah. I mean, he deep. What, with batter on? No. He would, like... He'd come home from the pub. Like, bear in mind, my dad worked at... Like, he ran a pub.

For the last few years of his life, he ran a pub, right? And the truth is, he probably shouldn't have been running a pub. Based on how much he loved his booze, right? It was always a dangerous thing for him to be doing and i remember when he first took over the pub i said to him like dad do you like a drink and what are you going to do like people often and my dad was a massive personality right like huge

there's very much a personality dream but i would say my dad's pub was one of those pubs where part of the reason you go is to have a chat with him germany like he was like yeah that's my favorite sort of pub yeah so but the thing was is that people i said to him people are going to ask you if you want to drink right what are you going to do because you can't accept that offer every time and you go i'm going to have a bottle of vodka there and but it's filled with water right and so every time somebody offers me i'll say thank you very much and i'll pour some water into the thing but first of all completely illegal uh to accept you just take it as a tip you know we don't don't pretend you're selling a vodka when you're selling the water uh but the other thing but but he didn't do that he

threw himself a pint every time every time i saw him i'll never forget one of the one of the days walking into the pub just after he'd taken over they had karaoke on at the pub i saw my dad singing bob marley's jamming and not being able to remember any of the words, despite the fact they're appearing on a screen in front of him. But anyway, he just said jamming 37 times, but anyway, he used to come home and make himself mad snacks. And one of the things he says, regularly deep fried boiled eggs.

So you just take it boiled to eggs. Yeah. He puts some chili powder on them and then you'd like stick him in some oil wow yeah i know well like cut them up or just have them fall like that i mean to be fair to your dad that is that's probably the most complex drunken snack i've ever had all in my life well i first of all i'd say it's dangerous to be dangerous yeah second of all i don't know what deep frying a boiled egg adds to it. I think just have the... If you have yourself a couple of boiled eggs,

you've got yourself a gym snack now. The decision to sort of chilli powder and then deep fry them seems crazy to me. Yeah, what is that? I mean, because surely just the egg white just gets crispy because you haven't got the batter around it to protect it. No, I mean, I don't know. I never tried it, but that is what he did i mean yeah um i mean to give to give you an idea

of what my dad was like when you like because my parents are like originally hindu and when you went after a few days after they passed away you do a ceremony and you just like to say your proper final goodbye to them and you you have have the best things they liked in life sort of around pictures of them. And you sort of do like a little moment of reflection. My dad, for my dad's favourite things, right, was a massive bowl of lamb curry, a bottle of Jack Daniels and 20 Bensons.

That is what we presented our dad with. A man like your dad is like a... I used to adore going to the pub and you'd have a character like that running the place and buying him a drink and having a chat with him and finding out about him. It's a lost art that now. Yeah.

I don't think landlords and landladies are sort of the same as that. I think if you go to small village pubs, like when I'm on the tour and might pop in for some food and, you know, have a chat, you feel in some of them they're just sort of run by people who don't even care about the local area or don't have any stories. So, yeah, it sort of makes me sort of sad to think of sort of that, that as being a lost trade.

Yeah. Well, I mean, that pub was, it was a, it was a really, it was a nice pub. Look,

it was one of those proper old school pubs. Do you know what I mean? Like some regulars and stuff. And like, actually a lot of scaffolders used to go in and drink there. It's flats now. But then when my dad's, it was a proper person.

But the funny thing is about his regulars my dad was trying to make the pub better but the regulars are all so funny like they don't want any change to the pub at all like i started i started putting on a comedy night there they were furious i remember like putting up the posters for it around the pub like i did it like once a month and it was like like my dad said to me you want some stage time to have some stage time here put on a gig it'll be good for the pub. Do you know what I mean? So that's what I started doing.

I started hosting this gig and like, it was so fun. I put the posts up and the regulars would be heckling me as I was putting up the posters. Wow. I'll tell you what, Ramesh, if they're shit,

I'll tell them. I'll tell them on the night, I'll tell them to their face if they're shit. And so like the first night I was just like, I remember just thinking, Oh God, this is going to be, I remember one night right we we used to like book a paid opener a paid closer i'd host it and we'd have two open spots in the middle right and like because it wasn't it wasn't near a train

station we used to have to go and pick up the headliner from the train station right so we used to say to him like turn up let us know when you're at the train station we'll come and get you once i'm not going to name the open spots but once we had a couple of you know weaker open spots gig opened open spots come on we go to pick up the headliner come back the pub is emptied wow so we've got to pick up the headliner we're telling them it's like oh yes pretty decent grounded tonight for the time we got back to the pub it'd been a mass walkout there was like three people left for the headliner to play too do you remember when you started out like those i wanted to go to a weird sort of or places outside london and i mean i lived in london at the time and and then like the the worry number one because you're never getting paid right so

of like having to get a train outside London and then hoping that you could get on the train back that people didn't run over. Like if you were saying the second open spot and you were in a place that sort of, you had to make your connection train. That was like the fear of like, you know, you believe the name JT,

but if like someone was like hosting or he's on first job and he would overrun massively, he was famous for it. And then you just almost be like, oh man, this is just going to be like, I'm not going to make work. I'll protect. I, I probably three or four times had to stay at different people's houses, like audience members. What did you never do that?

So that again, what did you do? Stayed at all, like, if I missed my train, I'd end up just having drinks in the bar and then see if I could stay at someone's house. Oh my God, are you joking? No. So did you actually do that? Yeah, I did that four or five times, yeah.

You stayed in a stranger's house? Yeah, like, I'd have beers with them, they weren't really a stranger by the time I went back there. Oh God. What, did you never do that never i honestly i i'm not saying there's anything wrong with i mean it's look first of all i'd say it's very nice of those people to stay there i couldn't do it i could not do that i would actually i would actually sleep outside as a preference i'd find a bus stop or something what i found with y York was, like, you get back there, and quite often they'd want to carry – even if you're really tired.

Because at this point in my life, I would have been working on a building site. So I'd have done a whole day working, labouring. Then I'd have had the nervous energy of going to do the gig. Then, like, knowing that I've missed my train, can't afford a taxi, like, you know, 60, 70 qu't afford a taxi like you know 60 70 quid in a taxi so i was like well i'm stuck here so i'd often just have a bit of a laugh with people and then you get back into the house and they usually want to sort of carry on the drinking then i'd know that i had to get up at like 5am to get trained back into london

to go back and work on like me meet the boys and go back on the site so the the feeling of like but then i'm also a people pleaser so i'd often quite a lot of times should stay up till like three in the morning and then so i have like a couple of hours sleep on a sort of sofa somewhere i had some mad situations like that i thought you'd have done that no i've never done that is that not a done thing within the comedy world um It might be, but I'm not putting myself forward as a normal person. I mean, I've got issues, do you know what I mean? I find that sort of thing. Look, whenever I say about things like this,

I feel like people think I don't like people. I love people. I think people are brilliant. It's just I feel very, very... I just feel so awkward and weird about doing something like that. I don't know why. I just would. I didn't just like, I sort of like,

I would have been prepared if I'd had to, to sort of sleep in a station or something. But what I think is, but it's a weird thing, isn't it? Because no one ever sees that side. But then did you used to drive to a lot of gigs? Yeah, I did, yeah. Yeah, I don't drive. And I i think like when you're an open spot like i could tell you i won't say names

probably at least three or four times where you're like the headliner lives within five miles of you and could just go i'll drop you back and they're driving and you've done a gig with them but then don't offer so then you're sort of like having to get like three buses back home like i always found that a hard thing i was like like like a weird sort of oh mate i did i did those like cheap coaches yeah i did them all the time and it was like i remember like doing i did a gig in like i can't remember exactly it was somewhere in wales maybe cardiff i don't think it was cardiff and then i i basically there wasn't accommodation i couldn't afford to stay so i ended up getting like a coach back for like 18 quid or something like that and the coach left at four in the morning so i had to like knock about till four in the morning and then

get on this coach and then as the coach was about to leave the smelliest human being in the world came and sat down next to me i was sat in a tour feeling very comfortable weren't that many people on there and then it started to fill up and i thought i'm still all right i'm still all right i'm still all right literally just as the door ran on and then for the entire journey i was sat next to the the smelliest thing ever and they were like one of those it wasn't even i got used to it was like a glade plug-in it's like they sort of it kept refreshing it's disgusting yeah it's about to say intensifying those coaches were bleak well you just have to yeah you just had to pray beyond prayer that you

didn't need a shirt well you didn't i you i mean i mean like or a piss actually you just don't want to go to the toilet on a couch like that like did you ever do the ones where you had to have the little stuff i remember doing i think it was newcastle and they have to stop and then you're petrified that they're going to go without you and you're going to be left on this fucking services somewhere yeah yeah i i used to think did you ever think that when you're doing those like what am i doing here i've worked all day long doing like a job i mean luckily i was lucky enough to not hate my job but that thing of like i think the worst possible days i had were doing a day's teaching you then travel to a gig you die on your ass

you're coming back home at like two three o'clock in the morning and you think to yourself what what am i doing and at that point any evidence that you might get anywhere with this feels so far away do you mean like you just sort of think this is never going to be a winning streak i don't understand why i'm doing this and i like come in you'd be fucked the next day it's so it is i remember like when you think back on it now you think how did i do i mean listen we're not unique in this so many people this is what they do i mean like you know commit i mean i think we're describing the story of most comedians probably yeah but like i remember just like go you you

really have a horrible moment of reflection i say moment of reflection entire journey would be reflection yeah i mean like i remember like once driving home from i remember like the the agents i'm with now off the curb they were like well you know you're with them so i don't talk to like that but like so i remember like they put me in for a gig like early doors and they said we've got you've got this half an hour gig and i don't think i didn't feel like i was ready to do half an hour yet and i said to me well i'm just you know go for it let's um let's see how it goes and i went and i just basically died like i had a real tough gig right like this is how hard i died they barely applauded me when i said i've been wrong and i said thank you i mean it was like like proper stink out the room the other acts i won't name them but they took deep joy in how badly i'd

done and um so that sent me in a sort of a shame spiral i got in the car and i just it was the lowest i've felt it like i'd felt for a long time because i just sort of like i felt like you catastrophize don't you i thought to myself i fuck this like off the curb you're never going to book me for anything again this is done they're going to get the gig report back they're going to go i don't know why the hell you sent us this first guy do you mean it was like it was horrific man do you know what i mean i mean i had so many of those thankfully off the curb like with were like decent about it and they were like you know it happens it's like you know whatever how did you used to find like the next day at work

it's good well i i had a newfound appreciation for teaching because i thought this might be the thing that i'm doing forever now based on our last night but it was that it's hard man it's funny so bleak there was a long there was a long period which i felt like i was both being a teacher and a comedian do you know what i mean because like i didn't have enough time to prep my lessons and everything because i was like gigging to whatever time at night and then when I was teaching I was knackered do you know what I mean and then I hadn't had enough time to think about the gig so then you go rock up and go here we go well you died on your ass last night you've done absolutely nothing about it since last night's gig and you're gonna go run out the same shit again for a different result um i mean the thing is even as i'm saying this i'm talking about it quite romantically because i actually i actually

think those times are cool man do you know i mean because i i think they sort of fuel you with a proper appreciation for what's going on now do you mean i feel like i feel like the days where i used to go back and like, die on your ass and like, do you remember mirth control gigs? Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Like you do one of them and then like, you travel back, fucking trainings, whatever, and then the next morning

you'd be up at like, fucking 5am to go meet, like get on the wagon to go to the site and then you'd have some bloke go, how was a gig last night you did a gig last night oh i didn't do very well actually and then it would just open you up

to roasting for the rest of the day that everything you did oh cool i'll tell you what mate if you want to make people laugh let them see you trying to get a struggle up with a fucking hod of bricks or let them do this that yeah that was like you get rinsed and if you had a good gig they would ask you to do some of your material and because you felt a bit fueled by the fact that you you thought you had a good bit you'd try and do some stand-up in front of the crew i never i never felt i i never made that i would never demonstrate stand up to no no no i tried not to but it's very hard when you're with the same two or three people for the whole day. And then they'll lull you into a situation where you actually sort of like,

or your ego gets a bit of you and you just sort of like subliminally try to sort of like force it into a conversation. Well, the other thing that I, that I found funny was that nobody ever thought you were going to make it as a company. Like none of, none of you work with what you're going to make it as a community.

And I understand why I'm not bitter about that because it's so unlikely you are going to make it as a comic and i remember like when i was teaching i did the bbc new comedy award and i did the first heat and i didn't make it through pat cahill made it through it's like the winner of the of the heat and then the other people they made they they put a clip online and then whoever got the most votes progressed to the next to the next round yeah and um so my clip went online and so i remember like showing it to a couple of my colleagues the complete underwhelming reaction by my colleagues

to my stand-up it was so funny it's almost like so this is what you're planning on leaving teaching to do is it this sort of stuff that you normally do it it's the hardest one.

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Oh, jeez. We've gone out of time machine back to 1952. Gosh. Okay, this is from... Well, they've not made themselves anonymous, and I don't think we need to. So it's John K. Okay, so... Yeah says, this is the first non-onymous one we've had in a while, isn't it? Yeah, John K.

It's nice, really, because you can sort of start imagining John. Yeah, that's what his name is. No, no, no, but imagining sort of what he looks like and how he moves. Yeah, what do you think he looks like? I think he's probably got like sort of shoulder-length length hair sort of quite rosy cheeks uh an ample nose uh quite sort of like a nice sort of cheeky smile uh his eyebrows aren't too sort of like too dark but they're sort of like enough that you notice that they're there yeah uh blue eyes uh quite quite felt that fellow i think uh for some reason i just imagine me sort

of wearing like quite a pale blue shirt and a pair of jeans well what i can tell you tom is that you've you've seen john k okay yeah yes you're about to find out but um we'll see if you remember um so hi wolf and out this has been on my mind for a couple of months now but hearing tom mentioned the warm-up shows where a close but perhaps unthinking friend was sitting in the front row putting him off has finally compelled me to write. I believe I may have been at that show, I think it was a stand in Newcastle in June, where there was a gentleman in the front row who seemed desperate to let everyone know that he was friends with Tom. Is this the show?

Yes, one of them. I know exactly the situation. Anyway, i digress really has picked up some stuff from watching it my my main concern in writing is to apologize to tom for my thoughtless and cowardly act at the end of the show i was sat at the end of a row to the right of the stage from the audience's perspective from this position i was immediately next to the narrow aisle via which all acts at the stand make their way to and from the stage having thoroughly enjoyed tom's performance, I wanted to let him know that he totally fucking smashed it.

Do you know, you're starting to laugh now, like you know what this is going to be about. No, I know who he is, yeah, yeah. Okay. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Having thoroughly enjoyed Tom's performance, I wanted to let him know that he totally fucking smashed it and so offered my hand to him as he passed by on his way off stage.

However, I'm ashamed that for some inexplicable reason, I began to question myself. Why would he want to high five me, a complete stranger? Why would he need me to tell him how good he was? Of course, he doesn't need adulation for his fans of validation. Well, I would say you've got Tom very much wrong there. And so in an attempt to safeguard Tom from being compelled to interact, I dropped my hand. Unfortunately, I did so at the exact point that Tom, the sweet, sweet soul that he is, went in for the high five. This of course left him sweeping his massive hand through the air, making me look like I'd done it deliberately. And I shudder to imagine

left him thinking he'd been mugged off. Tom, you smashed it. I'm coming to see you at the Time Theatre in September, I'm sure you'll smash it there too. Sorry for any confusion I caused. Regretfully, John Coe. Do you remember this? Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how did you feel when this happened? Well, if I'm going to be honest with you, I did think he was fucking with me. It was like, Newcastle's genuinely one of the best places to gig in the country, I'd say, right? It's one of the best crowds you get. But there's been there was one guy in the front row who was your lay on and i sort of knew him for like he

talked to me before the show i didn't know him he wasn't a friend he's not the gig i'm talking about when i was talking the other way but i know exactly who he meant there's a guy and he had his year late on and it was a really really hot day and he was just so like he shot he constantly was talking through the like not heckling just constantly like he wanted a conversation when i was on stage he wanted to chat yeah it's just sort of like off putting uh as an act but yeah he wasn't aggressive but i do yeah i remember coming off and thinking oh that's gone well. I'm sort of quite happy with that.

And then seeing a hand up and thinking, oh, my God, like a high five at the end film. And then just as I went to high five, the said person, his hand dropped. I can't remember. I think he's got blonde hair. I can't remember. Well, look, John, do you want to say anything to John Coe? No, just thank you for your kind words. And it would be lovely at the time of the theatre to share a high five with you. While we're talking about this,

it's just reminding me of the other thing I wanted to say about your gig on Saturday night. So I had obviously told you on the podcast I was coming to the gig. And I didn't want to be a distraction. I'm not saying that I'm distracting from you. It's your show. But I didn't want any attention is what I'm not saying that I'm distracting from you. It's your show, but whatever. But I don't want to be, I didn't want to, I didn't want any attention is what I'm getting. So we, I turned up and I sat down right before you, I mean, obviously I came and saw you backstage, but then we walked in and sat down as late as possible before both sections of

the show. Right. And then we were going to go, we're going for a curry afterwards, which we've talked about, but then I wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Get the table. Do you know what know i mean get sorted out yeah and i and i i knew that there'd be people waiting for you after the show so the car was right by the gig by the stage door i walked out and basically my hope was to make it to the car not in a bad way not that i don't like people but i just wanted to get out you were you were with this one as well.

Yeah, and I just wanted you to, it's your night, it's not my night. I mean, I don't, like, you know, I don't want to be, I don't want to be that guy. So I was walking to the car and as I walked to the car, a very nice lady said, saw me and said, hey, Ramesh, can I get a photo? So I stopped for the photo and as I stopped for the photo I saw ahead a few people notice and like I

basically Panicked right because I thought this is gonna turn into like not that I'm gonna get mobbed I'm not Harry Styles, but I just thought this is gonna be I don't want when you come out of the show Me to be there taking i just didn't want that you know what i mean so i took the photo and then somebody else a very nice bloke asked me to sign the t-shirt sign his t-shirt he had a wolf and our t-shirt on which i did and then i sort of ducked out and went to the car and i got into the car and immediately was on set with paranoia that i'd been rude to the people i'd interacted with or it can i just say if you are either of those people or any of the people around been rude to the people i'd interacted with or it can i just say if you

are either of those people or any of the people around there i felt the guilt i felt coming out of that was horrific right but you mentioned it as soon as i arrived and you did look very gory and then the next day i posted a video about the weather right it's just like a stupid little thought i had about people having a go at people complaining that it's too hot right yeah and and that video i put up on tiktok and somebody replied you're very rude in real life oh right now imagine seeing that after you've had the the the experience that i had the night before wow can you imagine what my yeah why were they saying that like well i actually i actually i mentioned it to let you guys but don't worry about it like it's probably somebody that you

just walk past and they just you know like people people get impressions of you they're not not you know a lot of the time they're not accurate like don't worry about it but i couldn't let it go so mate i replied to the comment and i said i I'm sorry, feel like that. And then they just told me that apparently I was coming out of some pizza place. They asked for a photo and I blanked them or something. And like, I can't remember. I mean,

I was going to say that in all the time I've known you, I've never known you to blank someone for a photo. Well, I obviously did. And then I, and then I ended up, I ended up sending an apology. I mean, it's like...

You could have taken a photo of yourself. That's a great idea. It's a great idea. I wish I'd thought of that. Wow. Anyway, Tom, do you want to do one more? Do you want to do one more? Let's do one more quick one.

Shout out John Kay and thank you for coming to the show. You're a sweet, sweet soul, sir. This is a fairly quick one. This is from colin the caterpillar uh and colin imagine if he wasn't being anonymous and that was his actual name his name was colin caterpillar yeah uh it's just got an email from a cake is it is it is it colin the caterpillar that cake yeah yeah yeah i was actually at a birthday party the other day and someone happened to us you were a children's birthday party yeah well yeah but actually adults have them as well they're quite retro now aren't they yeah there's something quite cool those you sort of get them ironically don't you yeah yeah um i should have taken the stank out of my voice before i said that i think it's

perfectly legitimate things too and fair play to if you've done that can you have them because they're vegan the sweets no no the sweets are but the cake isn't unfortunately um higher lads a few months ago some friends and i went to a comedy night in brighton we only knew one of the comedians performing he was great the rest of the comedians we hadn't come across before one of the acts he performed started his set with several slight digs towards his wife and mother who's child at this point i've got to be in a film slightly nervous that they're talking about me uh as he went on to make offensive comments towards people with autism, okay, I'm out. My friends and I decided we had to walk out felt too awkward. And we weren't in 2023. Listening to comedy. I

know comedy is totally subjective and yet has also changed over the years. But is it better to sit through comedy thinkers offense to penalize and insulting minority groups? Or is it better to leave and make a statement which is obviously really crap for the performer would be intrigued to hear both your views. Tom, what do you think um it's difficult isn't it because look i mean i think on the on the basis of sort of joking about your partner or your your home life is obviously a big part of stand-up because that is your life that's where you you know there's always going to be jokes about it i think i i do it so at least you know you do it with nearly everyone i know

is a stand-up or across the board does it um but when it comes to sort of stuff like stuff like you know joking about anything that's sort of offensive or feels like you're punching down i've never sort of really agreed with i sort of try as best i can with my material to make sure that i'm always the joke it's always sort of aimed at me or you're punching up i think that you know there's times obviously like you you say certain things you think what was that right was that wrong i think when you're you're going in on things like autism or any kind of disability, I think is... Yeah, I don't agree with it. I think it's wrong. It's never really been in my bag.

I find it's like anything that's tiptoes into being racist or homophobic. I think there's no place for it on stage. And I think, actually, it's a brave move to walk out. Not trying to defend the act, but if someone is relatively new and they're an open spot, I think it's really confusing in your first years of trying, when you first start as a stand-up, trying to find your voice and trying to find what's funny.

And actually, I think there's a moment as a stand-up where you find that actually that's kind of got to come from sort of like, you know, certainly myself, and I think you include Rob, is self-deprecationation and that can be quite difficult at times to sort of to find a way of doing that but i think i think some people think actually if they say stuff that's shocking it's almost like some people going off is almost the same as getting a big laugh and it isn't it's not what the job is it's not why we're there for yeah but i i think that i don't i'm not defending this but i think there's i don't think unless you've ever done stand i don't think there's anything that's nerve-wracking as standing in front of

people trying to get a laugh and actually sometimes when people use a defense mechanism of using stuff that's controversial so if that doesn't get a laugh it's not about the joke not working it's about the subject matter and i think that can become that can become like a cloak that you put across your yourself so whilst i'm not i think you've done the right thing and walking out and and being you know showing the strength of solidarity that that stuff isn't isn't cool to do i i do think that sometimes that that that is just yeah a defence mechanism that they're using. And you hope that actually in you doing that, you hope that they learn from it.

And they're like, all right, you know what? I need to do better than this. But yeah, it's not a place that I've certainly ever found anything funny. But anyhow, Romesh. Okay, so look, I think walking out is a is a big move and i think my instinct would be look i agree with what tom said i don't think jokes about autism are great but i mean it's difficult to comment on it because we're getting your summary rather than what it might have actually been um what i would say is is um i've had somebody walk out of my show um because of

some jokes i was making about the environment and i wasn't being particularly offensive but they just felt particularly passionate about it and it derailed the show for a little bit and i had to get it back and i think look i think that if you're going to a mixed bill comedy night not all of the actual beauty or taste and i know what you're going to a mixed-bill comedy night, not all of the acts will be to your taste. And I know what you're saying is that this person was offensive, but I think my instinct would be just don't ever go and see that person again. Do you know what I mean? And I think that...

Look, the honest truth is I don't know how I feel about it. I think walking out is a big thing, but I think that you've given a very thing but I think that that that you've given a very extreme example here but if everybody walks out every time they disagree with some what somebody says or they've got an issue with it it makes things very very difficult it also means that I don't know I just think it's a huge thing to do and I think what you'll find is if somebody's doing stuff like that they won't't find an audience. And hopefully that feedback will lead to them sort of changing what they're doing.

Do you know what I mean? Because I imagine what would happen is if they're doing jokes that are as offensive as that, they're not getting a good response from the crowd and that will force them to, you know, as it does all of us, if you do something that doesn't work,

you basically try and change it up to make it better. So look, if you were offended, I'm not saying you did anything about walking out but i sort of feel like if i was sat there and something like that was happening i would stay there probably this mind what i would do i'd stay there and maybe if it's really bad make a complaint afters or just make sure that i never ever see that person again but you know it's I would say that's up to the individual what you do but what I would say is I'm speaking because it happened to me but when it happened to me I just didn't really feel like it was justified like I did I wasn't being offensive but this person had just decided because they really cared about the environment

that that was a time to walk out and they they got up shouted out they were leaving because they found that what i was saying unacceptable and kind of stopped the show so they could leave and make a big scene of it i'm that doesn't sound like that's what you did but anyway uh i guess what i'm saying is i don't really know how i feel about it so why i started speaking is beyond me uh right tom yeah could you please do us the honors of taking us out yo people friends the nights are drawing in and the sun has put his hand and although for some that cold air that starts drifting across your face in the morning is a relief. For others, it can be unnerving. Knowing that the sunny days have gone and the more dismal weather is coming,

it can be a time on quiet reflection, when worry creeps in. Shorter days lead to longer thoughts. That's what I always think anyway. Here's the truth of it. I think it's an important thing at this time of year to check in check in on those you haven't spoken to for a while give them a little text give them a little call make sure that even though the evenings become longer your friendships become deeper or

something like that I'm actually quite distracted because my little dog is trying to get into this room and smashing through the door and any minutes you'll get here and that will be the highlight of my day oh that's absolutely wonderful um guys uh thank you so much for listening remember that you've got till thursday morning to sign into 9 a.m sign to the mailing list pre-sale for the tickets goes on at 10am on Thursday and then general sales on Friday and that gig is happening on November the 2nd

Thursday the 2nd of November at Hannes of Apollo JT can you play us out with a song I've listened to very recently a hip hop classic this is Run DMC featuring Pete Rockenseal Smooth with Down With The King. Guys, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure.

We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye, guys. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.