Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 68: Fringe Issues & Renewed Vows

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

We’re talking… celebrity best friends, not swearing on TV shows, regrettable tour posters, Tom’s problems with a Pick Of The Fringe show, Newcastle buskers, QR codes, Rom’s new tattoo, thirsty Hobbits, renewed marriage vows and getting very lost. Don’t miss the bonus episode on Friday for this week’s emails. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit tresemme.com to learn more. That's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a...

Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as the window and stuff well hopefully not because otherwise Harry Styles flex I'm at the Hilton in Euston

oh but I forgot my mic I'm recording this on a laptop mic so apologies for sound quality but but that in context Tom's sound is shit every week and he never apologises so you know my sound has got better But that in context, Tom Sanders shit every week and he never apologises.

My Sanders got better. JT said how incredible it is. I say that when I was a maths teacher to the kids that it improved. And they're really awful for such a long time. You have to give them something, don't you? Well, yeah, it starts to be picked up. What's going on? Is Paris Hilton still involved with Hilton? I don't know, is the honest answer.

Isn't Paris Hilton like, isn't it turned out that she's actually really, you know like she did that show with Nicole Richie, and they sort of like wandered around sort of being, When they were best friends. Yeah, being like sort of. They were almost like the, they were like the first run of us, weren't they in a way? Like that was, they were the first sort of two best friends on television

yeah I mean it's kind of I suppose it's about the time we admitted this it was that dynamic that inspired this podcast actually and it inspired our whole working relationship

that sort of you know that sort of odd couple flex who would you say you are Paris or Nicole I think I'm Nicole you know yeah I'd say that

sort of Paris is the kind of bigger personality and Nicole kind of Harris is the kind of bigger personality and Nicole kind of plays off the front man if you like

yeah but also mate Nicole is Lionel Richie's daughter yes yeah

so that's pretty cool that you're Lionel Richie yeah I mean you delivered that like

it was a revelation are you saying sorry it would be a great thing to be Lionel Richie's daughter

it would it absolutely would well yeah but you could actually be Lionel Richie's daughter? It would. It absolutely would. Well, yeah, but you could actually be Lionel Richie's son would be pretty cool as well. Yeah. Any of his kids. Yeah, any of Lionel Richie's kids, yeah. What do you think would be good about being one of Lionel Richie's kids, just out of interest? Well, I think for a start, like when you get to school.

And all the kids go, as you walk in, all the kids go, hello the kids as you walk in all the kids go hello is it me it's me and you're like oh shut up come on guys every day with this and you could you stop doing it as you punch me repeatedly please that would just it would just make my school up when we're dancing on the ceiling it would be be like an amazing, like, just imagine waking up and he's just downstairs cooking, like, pancakes and just singing. Well, actually, I had... And it's like, wow, listen to his voice. I had a kind of an experience a lot like that,

because I did, do you remember that show? I don't know if they still do it. I don't think they do. Live at the Palladium. Do you remember that on ITV? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got booked to do the stand-up for that. And, well, I'll give you an insight into that. If you're the comedian, basically, and I got I got booked to do this stand up for that and well

I'll give you an insight into that if you're the comedian basically they have all these singers and like musical groups and stuff like that

and they get put in really nice dressing rooms it's because you're a comedian and you turn up on your own they essentially put you in a cupboard do you know what I mean like it's

yeah that's the way that's the comedian's way don't get me wrong you're at the Palladium I'm not complaining about that before anybody asks me, saying I'm an ungrateful, out-of-touch prick.

I am, but for different reasons. But they put you in this cupboard, and I'm sat in there, just sort of looking at my set, because the set has to be squeaky clean, which always makes me very nervous. Yeah, yeah. Because you're a curse merchant, aren't you? Well, I would say I swear too much much on stage and off stage but but but not obviously when you're normally doing stand-up really if you're doing a polo or a show like that

you're not that worried about that they'll kind of you know it's fine that's what's expected but when you do at the palladium and when i did big show you know they they are very clear about the fact you've got to be clean as any fit you know i mean and then there's a slight yeah and then that makes you obviously want to walk on and say first word you know that you've got to be clean as anything, do you know what I mean? And then there's a slight... And then that makes you obviously want to walk on and say **** first word. Do you know what I mean? But also, the thing about it is, I found the Apollo even harder because you get, like, what, three swears? Yeah, and I think that the rules are

if you say motherfucker, that has to be escalated to the commissioner or something to justify it. And then if you say ****, I think that goes to, like, the head of BBC. I think it might go to the Queen. Do you know say I think that goes to like the head of BBC I think it might go to the queen do you know what I mean I had a routine with yeah but she got the queen and the C word and I had to lose them both Jesus Christ I need to give that a bit of context because that sounds absolutely no no no no no it was very too much two different routines

so go on take us through you're at the Palladium and I turn up and they put me in this cupboard which is

absolutely fine what's your turn up where by the way what pardon what's your turn obviously on are we talking

is this Romesh this is an interesting thing I was backstage at Newcastle the other night and I had a poster of you

on the wall which I always find actually quite refreshing and it really pushed like i always look at your posters and it makes me feel like five minutes ago i'm gonna do do right do my g perhaps um but it's very much the i look at pictures of you now and obviously you're like you've had your glow up you look amazing you look incredible at the moment but like this is like I'm talking the blazer and the buttoned up shirt

do you know what that was so that must have been the irrational poster two things about that irrational poster one I was in the latter stages

of my blazer and button up phase I think soon after that I moved out of it although on that whole tour that's what I wore and

well you wore that outfit not that exact outfit but blazer and shirt do you know what I mean and that's what I wore. Well, you wore that outfit. Not that exact outfit, but blazer and shirt. Do you know what I mean? And I was of the... Basically, I remember thinking I looked good. And now when I watch the Irrational... Obviously, I don't watch the Irrational special. I'm not a fucking narcissist.

But whenever I see clips from that, I always think... In my head, I look so different to how I actually looked. But the other thing I'd say about that poster is i went to andy hollingworth it uh i think it was in manchester or i can't remember where the studio was i went to but i'd wore it was really cold that day and i've worn a woolly hat and i that and i took the hat off and i had really bad hat hair and then we just used that for the poster. So if you... Oh, yeah, because it is noticeably a bit scruffy, the hair.

Yeah. And that's just because I just literally got there, took my hat off, took my coat off, and then we started doing the photos. So I don't know why I chose to not have my hair sorted out before I did the poster. But, I mean, what I would say is both a bad decision at the time and a bad decision now to retell that story

because it has no merit whatsoever. But what can you do? But the point was, when you're playing the Palladium, were you in the blazer years? That was blazer years, yeah. And also, what I would say is even when I moved past blazer years, I still didn't know what to wear when I was required to be smart. Do you know what I mean?

So I'd still go default back to that. So I was still in the blazer, you see. Yeah. So I sat in there probably just with the blazer on the hanger, just, you know, looking in the mirror, saying things like, there's vomit on his shirt, there's vomit on his shirt already, mum's spaghetti, you know, shit like that. And then...

Bird jeans, asexual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember right there. Yeah, all right, mate. Oh, you're giggling to yourself. You liked that one, didn't you? A little dig, a little body oh you're giggling to yourself you liked that one didn't you little dig

little body blow I'd love to see you as a boxer because every time you get a shot away you start giggling to yourself so proud of what

you've done I reckon that's how you get knocked out you get a good shot in you start laughing to yourself because you've done so well then how you get knocked out. You get a good shot in, you start laughing to yourself because you've done so well, then you just get sparked out. So I was sat in the dressing room, just in the mirror,

sort of hyping myself up. You can do this, Romesh. You can do this. You're the man. I don't really do any of that. I do that. No, I don't do that. I can't.

I don't do that. I do that. Well, no, I don't do that. I can't, I don't do that. I did a thing that Mark Wahlberg does in Fighter. Get up at 4am and eat 47 eggs. No, no. When he goes, you're Mickey Boy, you're Mickey Boy, you're Mickey Boy. You do have to do a bit of that, don't you?

Yeah, to psych yourself up. If you're going to give a performance, I find you have to give yourself a bit in the zone. Anyway, I was doing whatever I was doing in the dressing room. And then I just thought, oh, God, they're playing Lionel Richie. Because I could hear it coming through the thing. And then I realised he was actually just doing his rehearsal on the stage. I actually had the Lionel Richie pumping into the speakers. Did you go out and watch him?

No, I wasn't. Oh, no. I was required to stay in the speakers. Did you go out and watch him? No, I wasn't. I was required to stay in the cupboard. So... You weren't even allowed to go out and watch him? No. With those things, you kind of have to leave those people alone. Do you know what I mean?

So I sort of did that. I would have loved if that ended that story because I was expecting it to be sort of like you walked out sort of like to the side of the stage and sort of just to watch him before you sort of warmed up and he was sort of like singing like, you know, one of his songs, I can only think, oh, you know,

of two of them, Dancing on the Cedars, and then we've done the other one, Hello. Well, we've done both. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't think of it. But he's doing one of those and he looks over and you're sort of standing there and then he sort of goes, hey, who's that guy? And they're like, oh, that's the comedian. Sorry, he shouldn't be here.

And he's like, no, no, it's okay. Let him hear me sing. And he sort of sings, and it inspires you to sort of, like, get fired up and sort of, like, as he walks past. Stuff like that, I don't find it inspiring. I find it a horrible insight into how untalented I am

you know you see like I remember like when I was doing when I did my first Edinburgh I um

they did this Mervyn Stutter's pick of the fringe right and like and what it is is like I don't know how

they decided who the fuck is Mervyn Stutter by the way he was like he was like an Edinburgh legend right

what did he do he just I don't know. I think he was a comic, but he, like... But, like, he would, like... They would curate this show at Edinburgh where, like, I guess he'd send people out

and they'd pick people to come and do five minutes at that show. He sounds like the emperor in his new clothes, this fella. Well, it was actually quite a good... Like, if you were not... No, I can imagine it is, but he's, like... We don't know what he's done

and all of a sudden he's got Mervyn stutters basically everyone's like looking to get picked by him but no one knows who he is yeah okay like gatsby yeah i'm starting to wonder if being mervyn stutters pick of the fringe was one of your sort of life goals and it's not happening now you will become embittered but i mean that's what you sound like until you said his name i've never heard of mervyn Stutter Mervyn Stutter sounds like fucking like a third fourth fucking great character

in a really really shitty old film okay well I mean you've really gone in quite hard on somebody who about a minute and a half ago

you didn't know existed no he might be a nice guy but I'm just saying his name it doesn't feel like you think he might be a nice guy no I'm just saying

somebody emails in you want to fucking go out for dinner with them and make them part of your household this guy whose name i've just mentioned is selecting me to perform his show he's suddenly a fucking prick according to you no i'm just saying can i just say this right yeah he just feels a little bit like he's up himself just from the way that you've described him because of the setup of pick of the fringe or whatever yeah yeah mervyn starr's pick of the fringe i'm like oh who's mervyn stutter and you're like I don't know what his background is

as far as we you know let's have a look he's just like this wealthy old sort of like sort of he seemed like a nice

seemed like a nice guy but did you actually meet him no you didn't meet him I think I met him I can't remember it was like 10 years ago

our team of I'd say oh I don't I don't actually know if Mervyn Stutter exists. What do you mean? So it's a fake name? No, I don't...

Oh, no, he does, he does, he does. Mervyn Stutter. The longest running fringe show. So basically, he's got a team that go out and watch shows and they pick people to come and perform at Mervyn Stutter. Well, it's not Mervyn Stutterters' pick of the Fringe, is it? It's Mervyn Stutters. Comedian, songwriter and actor.

Oh, God. What is that bad? I'm not having Mervyn Stutters. I'm not having him. Also, he's so amazing. Well, actually, there's an article here saying if landlords stay greedy, they'll kill the Edinburgh Festival.

That's the kind of thing I'm on board with. I think he might be a decent guy. Yeah, no, that's cool. No, he could be a decent guy, but I'm just saying. Well, it doesn't feel like you think he could be, Tom. You just literally said I'm on board with. I think he might be a decent guy. Yeah, no, that's cool. No, he could be a decent guy, but I'm just saying. Well, it doesn't feel like you think he could be, Tom. You just literally said

I'm not having him. All I'm saying about Mervyn Stutters, yeah, but it's Mervyn Stutters picking the fringe. It's not really his picking the fringe, is it? Because it's Mervyn Stutters and his gang.

Well, I imagine... Do you know who he sounds like? It's Fagan. He sounds like Fagan. He's just sending out his little sort of like pickpockets. Well, I imagine what's happened is he started off being him and then it got a bit of

a reputation and he thought, you know what, this is what a possible story for it is. Tom is that he started doing it on his own. The fringe got bigger and bigger and he thought this is unfair. I'm only able to get to a certain number of shows. And so there are some people, there are some performers that are probably getting neglected and ignored.

And I'd love them to be part of the pick of the fringe. So how about I decide to hire a group of people that can be more far-ranging and get to more shows so we give everybody an equal chance of getting into the pick of the fringe and he's put himself out there and he's put and then and now you know he gave a i was about to say young not young younger romesh ranganathan a break on pick of the fringe and he's done a really decent thing and that argument yeah but I knew you had done loads of other stuff or can I just say devil's advocate right because I do think that we have to be balanced on this podcast

you've not just been devil's advocate you've been in his fucking pocket mate kissing his arse at the moment I'm just saying this what if what's the other person's name it's Mervyn Stodbard right Stoddard

Mervyn Stoddard I don't know why have you chosen to repeatedly be so disrespectful about this guy? I'm not being disrespectful. I'm playing... Right, no. Right. There's a part of me that thinks this is all very Edinburgh.

Right? Yeah, of course it is. He's had a couple of good years, right, where he's up there and he's doing well for himself, right? Well, he's been going since the 60s, I think. But anyway. Okay, all right. Well, probably in about 1977, I reckon, he's probably earned so much money from his show

which he doesn't he's got other people doing all the heavy lifting oh god so he's then just turned around to his little gabble

he's sort of like slowly got this sort of like people around and he's like I haven't got to do anything off you go you know

and I'll just do the big show and mate you know you've got to be careful about what about getting an opportunity to perform at this big show no no I think it's good that you've got to be careful about what about getting an opportunity to perform at this big show no no i think it's good that you've got an opportunity right you've got to look deeper than that mate what do you mean what the possible what the possible said he said

what's the score with you mirth mate why score with you bro why though just to find out a bit more yeah but what's the possible negatives of doing that peel the orange mate look beneath the core pit peel the orange and look beneath the core. Peel the orange and look beneath the core? If I peeled an orange and there was a core, I'd be going, what the fuck's going on with this orange? I think I might have got myself an apple. I'm just saying, mate, that, you know, licks can be deceiving, so, yeah.

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FedEx, where now meets next. National Shipping. FedEx. Where now meets next. Anyway, go on. You were doing Mervyn Stoppard's. Mervyn Stutt's Pick of the Fringe, okay? So I just started.

It was my first edit. He, by the way, sounds like the sort of show at the Fringe. Mervyn Stutter and he's like this wacky character sort of doing a stutter. No, he didn't do that. He didn't do that. Okay, I'm just saying. So anyways, Mervyn Stutter's pick of the fringe. And I was trying to get some...

I was delighted to be picked to do this pick of the fringe, right? You know, for somebody just starting out, doing his first Edinburgh, it was actually a great opportunity. And arguably, what Mervyn Stutter does is of great service to people that go up there and apply their trade at the Edinburgh Festival. And too many people sort of hate on that, do you know what I mean?

I'm not saying I hate him, I'm just saying I wasn't saying you, I wasn't saying you I'm just saying that he feels a little bit like I don't know how it works but when people sort of find a new country or something and then they just make themselves king Yeah, sure

He's a prick, I get what you're saying he's a prick for picking out performers and giving them a showcase you're right well mate

yeah but the trouble is it's all about Mervyn Stutter and what he thinks it's not a democracy well it's not we've just established

that he's got a team of people so have you got a problem with him having a team or have you got a problem with him doing it himself I'd love to know I don't know

because you're fucking flip-flopping all around this argument, mate. I think it's a bit of both. Right, okay. A bit of contradictory both. Yeah, fair enough. Okay, go ahead, go ahead. No, you make perfect sense.

So anyway, everybody does five minutes each, right? And it does boost your ticket sales because a lot of people are looking to see what they might want to go and see anyway before i went on to do my shtick um there was a like a shadow puppet theater on before me right it was unbelievable right it was unbelievable and i'm not saying this is faux humility because a lot of people, if there is one consistent piece of criticism

about this podcast that we get on emails and stuff, it's that we're too hard on ourselves. And we're also too hard on ourselves about what we do. So I don't want you, I'm just telling you that this is my personal experience in the moment, okay? I stood there and I watched the Shadowpuppet theatre and just thought...

Is that the one with one X Factor? I don't know, British Got Talent? Like that one with one X Factor I don't know British Got Talent like that do you remember that I don't think it was like that yeah I don't think

it was that one but I watched it and I remember just thinking what is it you do Romesh like this is amazing and requires training

and skill and they're telling a beautiful story there's some of the best there's like five of the best minutes of entertainment I've seen in the last year

and you're about to go on and go what's it do with petrol stations I mean what the fuck man it felt so exposing and awful I think you know what I'd have brought into that a little

but I know now how hard it is more than ever to cultivate what we do and make it, like for you to have got on that stage at that point in your career, which is very early, is something incredible.

And that is a feat when you think of all the different things that are up there. And although, you know, being a little bit harsh on Mel. Although you hate Mervyn Stutter. Yeah, Mervyn Stutter. I mean, Mervyn Stutter never going to get on it, right? But there's a part of me that does respect the fact that he's doing that and he's picking a young buck like you, you know, bright, young squirrel like yourself who's sort of like,

he's seen and gone, oh, fucking hell, he might have something. I want to put him after the shadow puppet. So actually there's a part of me that respects him, but also there's a part of me that questions him. So I can't change that about me. No, you can't. Yeah. Listen, listen, that's your opinion for life. You formed it about me. No, you can't. Yeah. Listen, listen, that's your opinion

for life. You formed it about three minutes ago and that's what you're sticking with forever to the day you die. And I respect that. Talking about Edinburgh

actually, weirdly, so I was in Newcastle gigging this weekend. Yeah. Apparently, based on your responses and your Instagram, you had absolute

smasher gigs. Newcastle is an incredible, I've got to say, absolutely adore that city. What a city for comedy. But anyhow, smashing gigs. Newcastle is an incredible, I've got to say, absolutely adore that city. What a city for comedy, but anyhow, great gigs. Thank you to everyone who turned up. But one of the, like, so when you're in New,

have you been to Newcastle and gigs, right? Yeah, you've been, yeah. Only film can go there. I'm a regularly touring comic, Tom. I've been to Newcastle, yeah. What I resent is you talking to me like you've discovered Newcastle. What I resent is you talking to me like you've discovered Newcastle. Like Mervyn Stutter. Tom Davies' pick of the country. Talks about different towns you might

not have heard of. No, go on. Newcastle, Liverpool. No, he's been in a place called Manchester. So I was bowled up to the high street on sunday with a little pop about and um were you on your own in newcastle or did you take the family no i was no i was on my own in newcastle yeah it was me grats big day big dennis uh who's just reached me so i was dennis um so i'm pissed off that you've got the same tour party as well not for long until you start touring and then they'll leave me and I'm left with some fucking other hanger on. I literally

lose the A team and end up fucking like Murdoch takes control. Murdoch sort of works with you for beer. By the way,

shout out in advance whoever takes over Tom's tour. I imagine they'll get to know this guy, let's see what he's about listen to this episode where you're fucking going in on him

do you know what I hope it's Mervyn Stutter that's going to do it it would be amazing if it was Mervyn Stutter doddery old gent with a monocle so I'm bowling up High Street Newcastle and there's like

a street show there and the street is like one of the biggest street shows I've ever seen it's called the stunt runner

it's incredible like this guy jumps through fire he jumps through like a hoop of knives and and he's really really

I mean the show goes on quite a long time before he actually does and arguably what he does for the show goes on quite a long time before he actually does and arguably what he does for the show is actually

almost he builds it up so much it can't really he's trying to get a crowd yeah he's trying to get a crowd

he's trying to earn a living but the actual but fuck him is that what you're saying no no no but the actual

sort of feat itself he probably needs to sort of cut it down by about 5 minutes 5 to 7 minutes the actual show? Yeah, because the show goes on the feet where he's got to jump through these free hoops,

which is pretty cool, but it only lasts for about 25, not even that, probably 20 seconds. Oh, really? Jesus, I thought you were about to say minutes, seconds. No, literally, he runs through free hoops, he jumps through free hoops. Okay. So I was sort of like, as I was walking past, I was sort of lost for anything to do, so I sort of leant on a wall and sort of watched, and then he encouraged me to come and stand at the front of the… Oh, God, you got picked out.

Yeah, so I then had to stand at the front. A few people complained, so I sort of moved back and let some families in. Makes sense. Anyhow, he does his thing, thing right he does his shtick uh and night street performers now aren't he's not no okay i haven't got cash on me but he's got qr codes right yeah yeah it makes sense so i tip him a tenner on the qr code that's very nice though that's very nice no but he doesn't see me do it so what happens is i tip him the qr code the tenor i turn and make my merry way and then he starts bebopping and fucking scratching around

fucking people like and sort of almost insinuating i'm one of them the people haven't paid you've watched this show but i have paid so i sort of turned around to him i was like no no i've paid and he was all right mate whatever sort of thing. And he got quite aggressive. And I was just like, no, I have. So then I found myself going to a cash point and getting out a £10 in cash to walk past him when he was doing the show again, to have to watch the show, most of the show again,

to then put £10 in his hat. It was an insane situation. Why did you do that? Once you'd walked away, you know, you've paid. So what's happened there is a little bit of egos come out there, right? Because you've paid so what's happened there is a little bit of egos come out there right because you've paid the 10 pounds what you could have done is walked away knowing

that you've done that you've got away yeah but he doesn't know that he's going to turn around to he'll go down to the yeah but that's the point i'm sure yeah crowd today you know that fucking oh so you worried about you worried well he knew i was he clearly knew i was right and he kept on like sort of like catching my eye and sort of, giving me a little wink as if to say, oh, wait till you see this feat. And I was like, oh, genuinely excited by this. Like, really, like, you know, good luck with it. I imagine it created quite a buzz around,

I imagine he had more people. Once the word gets around that Tom Davis is having a look. No, I mean, a lot of people, they didn't know who it was. So, sort of, you know, I started saying that I was, you know, we were struggling to sell tickets for that second night. So, I think I sold about five cash in hand. Did you ever water tickets in your

back pocket? That's why secretly I was up on the high street at that time. Just fucking flooring for my show. Flooring like you're doing the Fringe. Nothing more fucking demeaning. I don't think you're into stand-up comedy. We've got a little thing

going on this evening worse than standing on a fucking cold wet Sunday morning in Newcastle with a fucking pocket full of flyers yeah

to a venue that you've been to a venue that someone's insisted that you do that you genuinely you've struggled just weasely sold out

one night thank you all for paying to buy the ticket and coming we didn't buy tickets you gave us one on the high street no but i was so i was just uh i was like looking at this yeah so i i felt bad that he wouldn't yeah and also i was like i wanted him to know that i thought his show was worthy of payment right okay do you know what i take back my uh my insinuation there because sometimes like you know what we're talking about going insinuation there. Because sometimes, like, you know,

in what we're talking about going through everything we've talked about so far with, you know, Mervyn Stutter and Lionel Richie and the Shadow Puppets and the Stunt Runner, and then being a comedian, we know someone's enjoying the show through laughter, right? If you're the Stunt Runner or even Lionel Richie to an extent, it's hard if you're not getting that laughter. It's a really good point hard it's a really good point

him seeing those shekels sort of falling into his his hat is a moment where he goes i thank you you did enjoy it and it's more than that very beautifully put actually tom well done cheers thank you thank you although do you ever about to be self-deprecating. But sometimes, you know, like, when you go and see a music... How many music gigs do you go to? Well, I've been to a few in my life. Would you?

Yeah, yeah. I would probably go to three a year. Right. So about the same for me, I'd say. About three or four a year, right? Yeah. And when I do go, I'm always taken aback by the response that musicians...

I mean, it's just like... They by the response that musicians I mean it's just like they have you know particularly when it's artists that like people have grown up listening to or that a particular song means a lot to them

the response that they get from an audience is unbelievable isn't it it's just like yeah it is but I'm going to just

say something because I'm like you I'm trying not to be deprecating so but I will say this right yeah imagine right if you you could tell the best jokes you've ever told in a greatest hit scenario to then get into a new every type of tour you did right imagine you could go right this is the material that's killed and it's always killed. Right? Out Out, for example, or, you know,

some of the best comedy routines. For us, once that tour is done, it's gone, right? So whenever you go and watch great musicians, at least, I'd say, the first two, three songs are bangers that we've heard before. Before they go, oh, this is some new stuff I want to play. With every new gig I've ever been. And then you're so into the vibe,

you go, oh, fucking, this is amazing. So for us, you know, we finish a tour, the tour goes where, you go, oh, fucking, this is amazing. So for us, we finish a tour. The tour goes where the special might go up or whatever. And then you've got to go, well, fucking hell, I've got to start again. You haven't got the beautiful thing of being able to go right here. Do you know what? Fuck musicians, man. What an easy...

Oh, you're right, Tom, actually. No, I love musicians. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. I was jumping on. Yeah, no, no. I don't want you to start a fucking big war love musicians. Oh, sorry. No, no, no. I was jumping on. Yeah, no, no. I don't want you to start a fucking big war with musicians. But I would say that that's the thing.

That's what's so great about Mervyn Stutter is he does songs and comedy. Yeah. I'd love to. I assume this part of me is going to definitely be most interested just looking if I'm going to find any footage of this guy. I can actually picture him exactly what he's like. Mm. Mm. Mm.

You know, sat in his velvet fucking jacket and smoking a pipe with his big rings on. Uh, well, I've got two bits of news

for you, Tom. Hit me, boy. Uh, news bit number one, I've got a new tattoo. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it last spoke to you. I saw it.

It's always B-I-G on my arm. Where is it? On your arm. You've got it on the sleeve now, right? No, I've put it on my other arm. I saw it. It's always B-I-G on my arm. Where is it? On your arm. You've got to nearly have a sleeve now, right? No, I've put it on my other arm. I've got sort of almost, can you see that's almost, it's not a sleeve, but there's a lot going on there.

But the space, the empty space is winding me up now. I think I'm going to get that all filled in. All right, we can have that. Do you think, I'm 45 years old. Do you think I just need to give up on this? Yeah, but you know, the trouble trouble is I saw your biggie tattoo and I was like I really want

I've been holding off on getting it don't get a biggie tattoo no I get a biggie tattoo I'm not that pathetic

that I will go and show a picture of your biggie tattoo and go I want to be like Romesh I'm not saying you'd say that

but everything else about that story I believe you do no I've been thinking about getting like Jared Bowen lifting the you know like

when he scored oh that's a great idea I've ever thought you need to look more thuggish I thought that or like

like what I would love is like your handprint on my left shoulder yeah I'd love you to get a tattoo of Knowlesy battering the shit

out of those fans at the 74 what a great name Knowlesy good old Knowlesy pictured the cameo but I want a shout

but listen I've paid full in full for the tattoo so this is not an ad but I just want to say thanks to Paul Boxer who at Brothers in Arts who did the tattoo so the lot so he did it mate honestly i had to sit

for six hours right that's how long that's what do you do when you're sitting for six hours you watch something or do you just chill uh well i chatted to him for most of the time to be honest with you i took a leaf out of your book tom that's good to hear you know yeah because normally i would normally when i'm getting a long title i I take a book or something and I thought, you know what, Tom Davis wouldn't do that. Tom Davis would. So we had a chat and got to know each other. You know, it was very nice. I love it. They all love you by the way. They all love you by the way in there. Oh well, yeah, I might as well pop in there and see him. Yeah, well he's fully booked up mate but, you know, what I don't want is wandering in there with a photo

that you've just taken from Instagram just going, I'll have one of those, like my brother or whatever. Just please don't do that. No, no, I want to take in a picture of Jared Bowen scoring a goal or Nolsi. Nolsi, you've got to go Nolsi. I'd love it across your back, just the vista, across your mighty shoulders. All the fans queuing up and Nolsey just at the top of the stairs.

That was an amazing thing to watch, wasn't it? Oh, it's insane. And then it's such a weird mix of feelings because you sort of go, this man is being celebrated. I mean, what he was doing was protecting people. Yeah, he was protecting families and kids. It was incredible. It is a man-stating thing.

Mate, we talk about Odor like he's this amazing character. This is like a real-life Odor. Yeah, that is true, kids. He was incredible. He is a man of stunning character. Mate, we talk about Odor like he's this amazing character. This is like the real-life Odor. Yeah, that is true, actually. That is true in many ways, yeah. No, you're right. The amount of gratis that we turn around and give Sean Bean in Lord of the Rings. But when it happens in reality, it's such a different thing.

Well, I mean, it's a couple of things. It's a misuse of the word gratis there, which is slang for free and also I don't I can't even remember a single time when somebody gave Sean Bean credit

for what happened in Lord of the Rings Sean Bean's character is the most underrated character in that movie as soon as he's gone I'm out basically

he fucking no one even talks about him for the rest of the movie it wasn't for him that the movie would have been fucking arguably better but 40 minutes long. Yeah,

but I would argue that Lord of the Rings would be a lot worse if the rest of it was just a lot of chats about how great Sean Bean was, do you know what I mean?

Mate, you know. Guys, can we stop while we're doing it? Listen, I know we've got to get this ring to Mulder

but can we just have a sit down and have a chat? How well did he do there? That was unbelievable I would love that kind of thing in a film I think that's what films lack

is actually Frodo going oh just quickly Gandalf get some drinks out I'm going to make a toast just if without him doing that

by the side of the river we'd have all been fucked and then we wouldn't be here yeah okay I mean I would say that I don't need that film to be longer no

I would cut round it to make that scene work I would have taken out some of the true stuff but then actually what you realise is Frodo is just a fucking user anyway oh my god okay he is everyone is sacrificing for him and he never says thank you they're not sacrificing for him he's not going to make himself personally wealthy.

He's been tasked with fucking saving mid-earth. Mate, if you can find me one bit where Frodo goes, oh, actually, mate, well, you know what, that was a decent thing. Gandalf, when he sacrifices himself,

it's like Gandalf, what he's first thinking when he comes back and he's now Gandalf the White, he should have said to Frodo, it's like, oh, fucking hell, you're back. I thought you were dead.

Yeah, you know what, Frodo, it'd be nice to have actually had some nice words, when you're just sprinting off. Listen, Frodo was's like oh fucking hell you're back I thought you were dead yeah um you know what Frodo it'd be nice to have actually had some nice words while you're just sprinting off listen Frodo was fucking running around Hobbiton

just trying to live his life and then suddenly he's got this thrust upon him he didn't want this mate Frodo was thirsty for a fucking adventure let me tell you that much I've never seen

anyone in my life as thirsty for an adventure as Frodo was okay that's incredible because I'm talking to somebody who's much more thirsty than Frodo for an adventure. So. You're the most adventure thirsty person on the fucking planet.

I'm just saying, mate, just fucking, yeah, that was a good life lesson for me is just watching Frodo. Yeah. If anyone didn't want to go on a mission, it's poor old Sam.

Yeah, that's true. I do think Samwise Gemji doesn't get enough credit. And he didn't fucking... No one even remembers... Frodo... Yeah, I'm not even Frodo. I'd say Frodo Baggins is in my fucking bottom five fucking most annoying characters.

Yeah, number four, Mervyn Stutter. Stutter's fucking in at bat too at the moment. Yeah. and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about

Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. On April 5th... You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl.

Witness the birth. My attempts will start now. Evil things of evil. It's the girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start now. Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what?

It's the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. Only theaters April 5th. and then the other thing is

is that the Swan and I renewed our vows at the weekend I love this bro I mean you know this but I love it

it's an amazing thing it's an amazing thing a lot of people asked if you'd use the downstairs toilet, but unfortunately you're in Newcastle. Not unfortunately, fortunate for the people in Newcastle

and fortunate for my downstairs toilet. You weren't able to make it. I was devastated to make it. You were very much missed. I was devastated. Absolutely. We raised a glass to your absence. Did you really?

Yeah. Oh, wow. Can I just say, you and Lisa... I actually asked the DJ to stop the music. I said, can we just hold on a minute because there is one person...

Mervyn Starr was like, this better be good. Yeah, there's one person... Mervyn started pushing his comb over, back over his head as he's dancing with a couple of your aunties.

I said, hold on, DJ, can you just stop this? Yeah, I know everyone's up on the dance floor, but I just need a moment to just reflect on somebody that isn't here with us tonight and then somebody said your dead father i said no we'll come to him later on that's i want to talk about this tom davis and everyone

went cheers to king gary murder success bill judge romesh and then somebody said let's not talk about judge romesh that's one of my lesser favorite bits of his work and then we carried on it was it was wonderful it's a wonderful moment wow that's really not did anyone film it or was it no no photographs just take my word for it you and lisa looked absolutely stunning well i'd say lisa did look no you looked those pictures i'd say right you should do more pictures like that because those pictures show the side of you that i adore. You're just having a good time. You're cutting loose. No, but there's a cheekiness to it. If ever I've seen a picture, I'm going,

that should be your album cover. There then. Well, I would say, as you know, Tom, I manage to keep my stray eye in control when I'm sober. But when I've been drinking, it sort of gets a bit wayward. It's almost like my eye gets pissed and just like, I'm going to have a look over here. And that's mostly to the side.

Yeah. And so what tends to happen is early photos of me at a party are okay. Later photos of me at a party are not the most flattering. There is one photo that a mate of mine sent me from the party quite late on where he and i looking down the barrel of the camera i say i'm looking down the barrel of the camera i'm looking down two barrels of two cameras that are complete almost at 180 to me it's fucking unreal man i look like a cartoon character i can't but i might stick it up on instant my eyes it's like they're trying to escape my head.

Well, both of them. I just want to... Mate, both. I don't know what happened. Maybe it's sort of elation, happiness, plus the drink. But both my eyes have gone... Basically, it was like my eyes hated each other. I wanted to be as far away from each other as they possibly could.

But also, I think there's something quite joyous about that I think it shows you you relaxed and you let you let any worry go and you just yeah there was a moment you know what I think I think you know what it's I was devastated not to be there also slightly guy because Dina Dennis your brother was going to be supporting me for those two nights in Newcastle yes yeah so and I will say that yeah it was justting not to have him there because he did the sterling job in stanford a lot of people shouted him out yeah and uh yeah he's a good guy did he enjoy himself for the party he did enjoy himself he was a bit he was sort of a bit moody right uh most of the night and i went up to him and said you're right he goes yeah it's just um i'm supposed to be be on duty tonight in Newcastle yeah and I said just try and enjoy yourself because it's difficult you

know I've let I've let a legend down and I said look just try and buckle you know just try and keep your chin up and let's try and have a nice night and to be fair to him towards the end he managed to sort of rustle up half a smile but I could tell he was right I could tell he was struggling. He was fucking absolutely getting loose and bandy. He was said, Yeah, it's a beautiful thing. I've just got it. I wasn't there. I would have sung for you, I think. Yeah, well, well, Beckett was there. And Sean Walsh was there. Well, we feel even worse. Catherine Ryan was there as well yeah and Bobby and they all had they all had tour shows

but they'd cancelled them to be there and Tony they've all finished their tour around your big night you told me so late on

about this thing as well do you know what listen I don't mind you fucking making some shit up right but like you're fucking

you might be the fucking second person I told you little shit I reckon you might have the fucking second person I told you little shit. I reckon you might have known about this before Lisa did. I think I did because you did say

not to tell Lisa. But if it had been anywhere else, I'd have been there with a heartbeat. There was a part of me that wanted to just turn up like sort of,

you know, like Tom Hiddleston in that famous story of him turning up at his old uni. Yeah. You heard that story? Just rocked up and then you would have

done a tight 20 yeah me and Mervyn started off going you and me must make a pact Mervyn hit it we must bring salvation back what made you what made you do that

what that song that was unbelievable you just bopped into that straight that was incredible i don't know it's the song that me and mervyn decided to sing yeah fair enough but um you know the um you know the other thing right yeah go on with with touring in i ended up walking to when i was walking to newcastle and this is i actually ended up getting my own you're talking about you know the tattoo guy as i was walking to Newcastle and this is I actually ended up getting my own you're talking about you know the tattoo guy as I was walking to Newcastle I started chatting to a guy I asked him for directions because I don't like to use my apple phone sometimes I think we get to even today like trying to turn my laptop on became a bit of a thing so I was like you know what I'm just gonna

walk and I'll find my way uh and I got lost um and uh so i asked this guy to visit the main high street and he sort of was like it's here it's here and then he started giving me a bit of a guide so hold on can i just get so you you did have your phone with you yeah yeah right and then you got lost yeah and then you thought because i've set this rule up that i'm not using my phone i'm going to ask for directions you've got what rules are, right? That's what rules become. Yeah, no, I get it. I'm just trying to get into your head. Yeah, so basically in my head,

I'm like, I don't want to just have my phone out looking at my phone for directions. I want to see what I'm doing. Yeah, you want to take in the, you want to take in this beautiful, incredibly beautiful city, this beautiful city that's, you know, at the centre of industry for this, you know,

it's beautiful for so many consoles. So, I... Oh, God, you really did have a good couple of gigs, didn disgusting to listen to so i walk in i get myself a little bit lost um and i turn around to this chap and i'm like hey man um uh would you know where the high street is and he said i can do you one better than that i can show you right i'd walk quite a long way away from the high street from where the hotel was right oh staying at our old favorite and where we stay for king gary um you're fucking joking i know and you know the funniest thing grats ended up in that cruddy old room that you oh my god i don't even know.

It's on the fifth floor, isn't it? Yeah, it is, yeah. It's funny, isn't it? A man away from his family. I'm talking about both me and Gratz now. Not that we have the same family. I didn't do anything on this one. Flo had put the rooms.

Flo and Antonio had put the rooms. Yeah. I'm sure you had a little chuckle, didn't you? When he said to me, he said, my room's ready I said I think you've got it's almost known

as the Romesh room anyhow yeah I digress I'd got quite a long way I'd basically taken a right out of the hotel instead of a left

so no a left yeah right out of the hotel instead of a left so I basically sort of got myself a little bit further away

so this guy instead of just giving me directions, which also is, I find, fucking insane when people give you directions because I'll remember the first two bits, follow that road, take a right, and then after that I'll just can't remember a thing. Which is amazing to think that that's how people used to, when you got to a town years ago, someone would go,

I'll just go up there, then do a right, then do a left, then do your third left. Do you know what I mean? It's like mad to think of remembering all of that information so it's incredible

the things it does to you isn't it anyway come on and he then gives me a guided tour to the high street which was lovely for like the first

sort of 20 minutes and we sort of chatted and after about 20 minutes and we were nearing the high street 25 minutes it was sort of it became quite sort became quite evident to me that he was now with me for probably the rest of the day.

There was no getting rid of him. I popped in to get a milkshake. He came in. He was your wolf in many ways. You prick. You're so happy with that you're so happy with that you're fucking rubbing your feet together um so yeah he came in like i went in like five shops he came in with me one of the shops i thought he'd gone and then i sort of like walked around the shop for a bit and sort of then sort of came out the front and he'd just been waiting outside and he'd got a

cigarette and a bottle of water um yeah so i ended up like even watching some of the some of the stunt runner with him that was probably i think there was that time that he just sort of the second time we were about to watch the stunt runner was the time that he was like i can't do this again but i was like how do you like i i enjoyed his company for a bit but then i was like i don't call this i've not spent this much time with anyone socially now aside my family for a long time like for ages like this guy's now been with me for nearly an hour I just can't

I cannot believe this now do you know why you have to take your phone yeah yeah I mean now I'm thinking right I probably won't do that again

no because it got to the point I imagine he's probably thinking similar even when I had a phone call he stood by me just sort of like you know not even

looking at his own phone just stood by me so I was just standing there with him just sort of like staring at me sort of like I was like oh if you need to his own phone, just stood by me. So I was just standing there with him, just sort of like staring at me, sort of like, I was like,

oh, if you need to get off and go somewhere, he was like, no, I'm right. And at one point, this is no joke, he said, I wasn't even going to come into town today.

Oh God. So he's come all the way into town and then we're just, yeah. This is, this is actually, this is the kicker of all kickers. This is the worst bit of the whole story, I think. Done. Because we just, yeah. This is actually, this is the kicker of all kickers. This is the worst bit of the whole story, I think. Go on.

Because we've now spent an hour. I'm amazed that we haven't heard it yet, but go on. An hour to him, right, with him. At the end, sort of towards the end, I sort of noticed that he's going to make his way away. I said, oh, by the way, I'm performing in town, so if you want, I could get you a ticket for all your help. Oh, God, this is so tragic Tom

and he turned around and he went nah I'm alright oh thank you can I just say whoever that bloke is can I just say

I hope you listen to this he doesn't he doesn't he didn't know thank you so much for doing that that is the best possible outcome

to that conversation because I was wearing a Wolf and Owl hat he didn't he was asking what it was I was sort of trying to explain to him but he couldn't get

his head around it so he's not I mean he might listen this might be the first one he listens to yeah I actually think as well that he was just

helping out he was just a guy helping so yeah it's just a beautiful thing it's a really nice thing but um well you've sort of made him feel like

a bit of a hanger on and a sad bastard now but listen we all make our choices don't we Tom yeah

we're going to try and do another episode aren't we so do you want to do you want to do a little ting ting and take us out let me try it let me hold

yeah this week this sweet sweet week I'm a few days away from the two people who are most special to me. Not Ramesh and Lisa, aka the Owl and Swan, who, by the way, I want you to just close your eyes and just, as you're listening, just smile and think about love and think about how important it is and think about those two people combining to make such a sweet, sweet life. combining to make such a sweet sweet life now as well away was away from my wife and my daughter i felt weirdness uh in those couple of days where i just sort of almost felt that i needed nourishment

i needed to sort of be around them a bit more and it sort of hit me that sometimes actually i sort of almost take for granted when i am around the people that i care about the most i sort of maybe don't invest enough in those moments. And actually I end up just doing other things and not actually just focusing just on the smallness of quite how important it is to feel nourished by the people that you love around you. So here's one for you people.

Spend a little bit of time today, tomorrow, and going forward in surrounding yourself with good people people to put a smile on your face and remembering although there's other things other ways of getting a little happiness in your life nothing compares to being around people you care about and more importantly care about you remember Remember, friends, family, loved ones, they are the true wealth in a life that can be otherwise slightly... Oh, man, what's the word? Neglected?

Neglected. That'll do. Thanks, people. There's a song... That's beautiful, by the way. Thank you. There's a song that came out by the way thank you there's a song that came out on the new Post Malone album that reminded me of how I felt in my lowest moments it's a bit of a sad song

but I love it so much it's called Don't Understand so JT can you play us out with that please Wolves and Owls we will see you next time thank you so much for listening bye bye We will see you next time. Thank you, but I can't think of one.

I don't understand why you like me so much, cause I don't like myself. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.