Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 7: Red Bull Rom & Glasgow Golf Trips

Episode Date: August 3, 2022

We’re talking… party clowns, prop comics and comedy competitions, the return of Red Bull Rom, Spanish lesson updates, mobile samosa feasts, Love Island gripes, triumphant Lionesses and Tom’s very ambitious golf trip to Glasgow. Then some emails on beach confidence, a name mix-up with a new friend and correcting a partner’s unpleasant habit. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last Request to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts Get severed and served Bring your weak shit Wear the wolf and owler

That ain't just a mistake That's an awful howler Both of them are known To pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship Let them see the whole thing

They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it.

The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Oh my gosh, it's the Wolf and Al. Back in your ears. Boom. Wolf and Al back in your ears. Boom! Wolf and Al is here today.

You know what I love, right? You always come sprinting in, right? Like a messenger from the 1800s with an important note for the Queen. And actually, you don't even know what the note says. So it's so beautiful. You start with this really big song. Well, do you know, yeah,

I'm trying to do it. I just always think i want to start high energy because i always start things phone calls wedding vows uh sex um dates um kids birthdays very low energy and i feel like um i feel like i sort of give a bad i do a bad start so then i overcompensate but then what happens is i realize that isn't that isn't me actually you know i sort of came into this like a kid's birthday entertainer would you and you would be my favorite kid's birthday entertainer yeah i would pay fortunes for you to come what would you do would you would you book me for kids that you hate no i put you for grace just just like because then I think as well it'd be quite good for her just to sort of... Well, when I'm born you'd be invited anyway just to sort of lurk about and stuff.

But it'd be quite good if you were dressed up as a clown. And then you were quite sombre, but then you fell into a big cheesecake. Yeah. What I'd do is I'd fall into a cheesecake. Then I'd get up, dust dust myself off and then i would just mime to tears of a clown it's such a bleak song isn't it tears of a clown yeah you would say i was so sorry for clowns if they haven't got anywhere to shower after a birthday party they've got to drive back to their house dressed still as a clown with sort of pie on their face i always

think that about like prop comics and shit like that uh do you mean or any anybody that's like has to dress up or take shit with them whenever i used to do gigs and they'd be like prop comics and shit like that uh do you mean or any anybody that's like has to dress up or take shit with them whenever i used to do gigs and they'd be like prop comics like a suitcase with a like loads of shit in it i just think and then like unpacking it and packing it or like afterwards you know like you turn up and you've got stuff you like it like if you've got if you've like driven yourself there that's one thing but taking that on the tube or having to be like like on the ways of the thing if you've got any kind of

suitcase or anything on on stage with you and you basically fucking die in your hole it's such a fucking long thing

having to put it all back in your box and then talk it off stage yeah and it's also shit if you're a following or a comparing you've basically got to

come on and there's other I remember like decks of cards and stuff being on the stage and so i sort of come on just sort of like following someone like that and it's a bit off for fuck's sake i i did um i did do you ever do the laughing horse yeah new activities yeah so i did that once and um it was like i i can't remember i can't remember which round it was but i got knocked out of that round anyway but there's a the guy on before me like did like was like spraying water about and like confetti and shit like round it was but i got knocked out of that round anyway but there's a guy on before

me like did like was like spraying water about and like confetti and shit like that it was like proper mad act and um sorry we haven't explained it laughing horse is this new act competition that like you get to the fight like you know like all these comedy competitions we're trying to get a bit of cachet get yourself a review and laughing by a guy whose friends won it nearly every year right from what i remember oh my god these are these are big accusations you're throwing about here let me tell you something that that horse is only laughing when it's not got an enemy in its sight so be careful mate all right i just always know that horse will drop its head it will stop smiling it will fucking charge i remember like that it just drop its head it would stop smiling it would fucking charge

I remember like that it just felt like that was one of the biggest clicks going when I was starting out it felt like a little click of a little vibe is it still going

laughing horse yes it is yeah and if anything it's more powerful than ever a lot of people say that if you make an interview

of the laughing horse your time in this industry is limited but listen you spoke from the heart you shot from the hip so that's my that's me man i've always fucking done that i always say i'm a renegade yeah so anyway i so this guy had like thrown water and confetti and shit like that all over the place and then i went

up i don't know what was wrong with me but you know sometimes when you're just like too honest i just walked up and i went this is literally the first thing I've seen in a fucking comedy competition I was like oh look at the fucking state of this I was supposed to see I'd have put you through this for that

it's just like you know like nobody knows you so they watched this and I thought oh it's just like this sort of diva this bloody

bloody stage is a mess I was supposed to do my jokes about my dick and my family situation in this fucking state am i it's actually a disgrace the confetti on the back of you know i care it's like an old bit of toilet paper mate i i i have had an absolute shocking night what's the whoa, whoa. Party wrong? No, not party wrong at all. I am nervous now about getting myself back into kilter. Okay?

I don't know if kilter's the right word. But let me explain the scenario. Hit me, hit me. Wednesday, Thursday, I'm recording my special. Shout out to every lucky person who's going to go and see this, by the way. I'm genuinely gutted. I'm devastated. I'm gigging these nights because I actually think it's going to be electric. I've got to say,

I think it's going to be talked about as one of the biggest nights in. I genuinely mean that. It's going to be electric. Thank you, man. Thank you, man. And do you know what I was thinking? Just before I got on this, I thought, I hope Tom can heap some more pressure on this situation. So thank you. Thank you for making my dreams come true. No, I'm only joking.

Anyway, so last night, I was a bit tired yesterday, right? And I had a warm-up in Basingstoke just to get the show back on its feet or whatever because I've not toured it for a bit. I'm lying backstage. Sorry, lying in the dressing room backstage. And I'm just feeling a bit knackered. And I think to myself, I want to get... Normally, I feel a bit knackered and I think it would be fine.

But last night I was feeling like more knackered and thinking this is going to affect the show. So basically to get myself out of it, I smashed one and a half sugar-free Red Bulls. Oof. Red Bull rum. Yeah. Now this, yeah, Red Bull rum. Now this is the conundrum that I'm facing, right? I went on stage and had like a really good time. And I was like, the Red Bull did what it was supposed to do, right? I then get in the car and I'm thinking to myself, I'm going to get home for a quarter past 11. I've had an absolute result here, right? I'm doing the gig, get home early doors, get myself to sleep, get my head down, wake up in the morning bright and breezy, right?

get myself to sleep get my head down wake up in the morning bright and breezy right i lay down in bed and literally never been more awake in my entire life do you mean like like i if somebody had said to me 2 a.m you got to do the tour show again fucking get me up there right absolutely like live wire live wire jesus anyway i start thinking i want to look at my phone i want to watch videos and shit like that but i don don't want to wake up the swan. So I go to the next room and I sit down there and I'm just watching videos and shit like that. Just to sort of like, I mean, I think that's the opposite of what you're supposed to do.

But I'm just going to say, I don't want to go downstairs and start watching TV and shit. So I'm thinking hopefully I'll just get tired and pass out. Anyway, a couple of hours later, I think, okay, I'm going to go to bed properly now. I get up. I walk into the bedroom, our bedroom. And I got to turn left to go to the bathroom.

And I don't know what the fuck happened. I forgot there was a wall there. I smashed my face straight. I would just walk in the darkness. Oh, my God. Falling into a wall, just bang, right? Like proper fucking hammered my face back, right? walk in the darkness falling into a wall just bang right like proper fucking hammered my face back

right and then I like touch my this fucking blood I split my lip this fucking blood this is like 3 o'clock in the morning I'm like pissing blood all over myself I go into the bathroom and like you know when you lose perspective when it's the middle of the night

I look at my lip and I go my lip's bleeding it's gonna swell up I can't do the special what the fuck am I gonna do so I'm freaking out the middle of the night I'm like googling

how to minimise lip swelling I'm just like fucking trying to get a cold press on it anyway suffice to say that did not

why am I saying all these quite cliche things now no no I quite like it I like it it's good storytelling anyway I end up

spending the rest of the night panicking about what my lip's going to look like in the morning. And thankfully... It looks fine. You see a little bit... I see a little cut there,

but it looks good, boy. It's okay. But anyway, that's the night I've had, mate. Let me just say quickly, number one, is you have CCTV outside your house?

Yes, I do, yeah. Thank you. Because the worry... Well, Lisa might think... It's just in case Lisa thinks, oh? Yes, I do, yeah. Why? Well, Lisa might think, it's just in case Lisa thinks, why is there blood all over the wall and stuff? And then it's like, she starts worrying that you've been out

fucking doing some weird shit at night. Do you know what I mean? That would be my worry. I was slightly nervous that I was going to wake her up. She didn't wake up for any of it? No. Wow, she's a deep sleeper. I've had a shit night sleep.

I've had a bad night. Seriously, I gigged last night. Shout out to Birmingham. Birmingham Glee is incredible. What an amazing... And actually, talking about prop comics, I think it's Chris. Is it Chris who runs it there?

Where, sorry? Birmingham Glee. Yeah, I think so, yeah. One of my favourite things is he looked at me, he said, is it just comics and mics? And he just whispered, there's no guitars, isn't there? I would love to see you do a guitar. He took the piss out of me saying you should have a ukulele,

but maybe I'll learn. Maybe that'll just be like fucking spanish and everything else me and you say we're gonna do great gig amazing i've been doing it i've been doing it half an hour have you not been doing that uh i've had time like we are gonna do it this week actually we've got a little night plan hold on hold on hold on a minute last week last week what did we say yeah no but i had no time to do it you've got sorry what so sorry am i do you are you do you think i'm sitting on my ass feeling my thumbs every day all day mate if i could find the time all right no no no no no no no no stop stop stop stop stop

no no listen listen last week on this podcast right what did we say what did we what did you get like this i've become like a fucking child this is you as a teacher i've regressed to being fucking 12 what is what what is the commitment we made to each other yeah but by the time it gets to the point where we've got to have a conversation in spanish i will be better than you but what do you know this is this is classic fucking Tom Davis here, right? You've not put the work in, all right? And why do you think you're going to be better? Because it's just natural talent?

No, no, but I will put the hard yards in. What is the commitment we made? Half an hour every day. Yeah, I know, yeah. And what have you done? I've done none of it yet. Oh, no, I've got the app on my phone. Okay.

So you've done none of it. Are you going to do the app on my phone okay so you've done none of it are you going to do it this week yeah I will do it this week yeah full disclosure I've not even downloaded the app I've done nothing well so I'm not really

in front of you you're such a genuine fucking I was genuinely thinking oh man I had like that feeling I just wanted to get in your fucking head

huh psyched you out I'm going to destroy you in Spanish now oh my god this is Red Bull Rom is back baby I think it's still affecting me So I did the gig and

at the moment my bro my pal Asif is driving me to these gigs right he's a legend this guy he's one of my favourite people in the world he's hilarious but he he insisted on like going to his favourite three takeaway places in Birmingham His favourite three?

He worked it out he's like, he worked it out. He's like, big bro, when you get out, I'm going to have like, like anything you want. So he's like, you feel like chicken suamers. So he bought me chicken suamers. He bought me all these little, like, I said, oh, have you got any nibbly bits? It took me quite a long time to explain that nibbly bits,

what I meant by that. But he came, he had like different samosas. It was incredible. Like all different chutney. It was literally like one of the best buffets i've had and like he brought some he's incredible he brought some vegetarian stuff for katherine which i'm now in trouble because i ate everything wrong well you ate all the veggie stuff as well i ate everything i was starving and also it's like an hour and a 20 minute drive back and i had food on my lap like i'm sorry that shit was fucking i hadn't eaten since fucking mid can you eat before you go on stage no well actually i try not to um

but i started eating like right up until the minute i get on stage but it's a bad idea oh man i can't i can't eat within four hours of going on stage yeah i'm like i just nerves and fucking i worry about it fucking yeah no i'm literally eating his food and he's looking at me like careful because some of that is for Catherine. There's like just empty containers. Sorry. Where did you eat this? In the car?

In the car. Yeah. Yeah. And this guy's got you what? Sorry. Pecoras, samosas. He's got three different sorts of pecoras. He's got me some couple of different samosas.

So for an hour and 20, he's had you eating what basically what sounds like a three-course indian meal in the back of his car was he planning was he planning on you sit in the front with him yeah yeah jesus fucking christ was he planning on firebombing this car after i mean how could it who the fuck let me tell you like i've i've i've picked up an indian takeaway and taken it to my house like 10 minutes down the road. I've had to sell the fucking car. He was eating as well.

Yeah, sure. But that car, you can't... Who the fuck... Sorry, man. Who the fuck is openly encouraging people to eat fucking Indian food? A legend, man. An absolute. This guy's like, genuinely, I was like,

it's one of the best journeys I've ever had in my life. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were eating samosas the entire time. It's like when my mom says, when my mom says, oh, the children seem to prefer my body.

And I go, yeah. Because you put three kilos of sugar in every bowl. Right? Any car journey, literally. An S-class Mercedes with nothing in it versus a fucking flat-out old 83 Escort, but it's got an Indian takeaway in it. That's Tom's favorite driver. Mate, of course.

I'm fucking, I'm wolfing it down. But anyway, so I get back in. And I foolishly as well, when i phoned katherine i was like um oh yeah yeah and she knows asif as well he's like a family friend so i was like oh yeah she's brought us loads of nice bits so when i got into bed last night and katherine was like um oh yeah i was so sweet with asif getting that i'm looking forward to having my my bit like the you know these vegetable pakoras and hold on hold on how did she know how did she know about this because when i called her, oh, Asif's brought us some.

But she knows Asif well. So she's like, and also Asif, like, you know, he's literally incredible. He's an incredible guy. He's been amazing for us as a family. He's helped us out with hospital trips and stuff. And he's just a good guy. So at some point he would have said, oh, did you get there?

Yeah. But then, so I told her about them. But then I'm lying in bed thinking, oh, fuck, I've eaten all of it. There's one vegetable pakora that I've put in the fridge that's so lonely. Why did you just finish it? I should have done. Why did you do that? Because you know what's the worst about that?

Is then Catherine opens the fridge and she sees the container. And she knows because you idiotically, despite knowing what you're like with food, have told her that veggie stuff is on the way. She opens the fridge, she readies herself for a little Indian reheat

feast and the joke is just one sad pakora, the runt of the pakora litter that even Tom decided it was. Why did you leave one, by the way?

I was so far from this review. Mate, like, genuinely, I went to bed, right? Yeah.

And I had like two back-to-back awful nightmares. I think it was down to eating spicy food late at

night. And the guilt. Yeah, and also I've been watching Stranger Things. Right. The trouble for me, right,

is until I watch the final of Stranger Things, it will always be, at the moment, the monster's still out there for me. Have you seen the finale yet? No, no, no, no. I'm on episode six of the series. Maxine. Oh, man.

Where are you going, Maxine? It's fucking amazing, right? Time is nearly up for you I fucking love that guy the episode with the old guy and his eyes and it's like the flashback

that's Freddy Krueger isn't it yeah yeah it's terrifying absolutely terrifying really frightening there's a bit so how much have you got left to watch I'm on episode 6 of that

of that series so I've 6 of that of that series so I've got 3 left of that series and I think I've got 2 specials I'm telling you man I'm actually jealous of you

because you're about to see you're about to see some mad shit you know the mad because Catherine's never got into it

so it's like trying to find like journeys and stuff like this is the thing I've got like you know when you've got like i've got the moment i'm doing all my gigs are quite local to me they're like 40 minutes away that's why like if i'm gigging an hour like two hours away i can get like i gigged on saturday night and then uh sunday i worked in london and it was like that was nice because i could get down into town and i could watch a couple of episodes

and get right into it um but it's just hard to get watching at home. I can't really watch it with Grace there now because I think she's got too much. It's pretty full on, isn't it? I love it. Well, I don't think, obviously Grace won't understand what's going on, but even like the noises and shit like that.

Yeah. It's just horrifying. Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah, that's a difficult one to watch before bed, I would say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've got to try and find a little time in the afternoon. I mean, I might have to yeah, that's, that's a difficult one to watch before bed. I would say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So you've got to try and find a little time in the afternoon. I mean, I might have to just basically try and watch it this afternoon in here and just sort of, do you know what I think you should do? No, but you know what? This is the great thing about watching scary stuff.

Wait till everyone, I mean, I don't know how easy this is for you to do, but one of my favorite things to do when I used to come back from gigs is I liked to really freak myself out. I hate it, but love it. Right.

Yeah. And, um, so I would come come back from gigs, is I liked to really freak myself out. I hate it, but love it, right? Yeah. And so I would come home. If everybody was asleep in the house, I would put on a horror film and sit in the dark and watch it. Yeah, because I wanted to freak myself out. But then I would always regret it afterwards. So it would really fuck me up. And then I wouldn't be able to sleep and I'd be freaked.

But I really did enjoy it. I'd love doing that. I sort of think watching Stranger Things in the day might take it away from you. Yeah, I agree with you there. Also, do you find, because I find adrenaline even now. It's like, I got back last night and I was like, I literally just lay in bed and I was like, I can't sleep.

Just buzzing about how you smashed it. I mean, I was also buzzing that that little prick Luca didn't win Love Island. Oh, yeah. I've not watched any of it, but is it good? It's been pretty good. I don't mean, sorry, I didn't mean to sound like a grandad then. I don't mean is Love Island good? I mean, was this series good?

Yeah man, it was alright. I literally just slip in and out. I've got my own thoughts on it but I'm not going to go into those now but he he's a trope, he's an awful human being, that Luca guy. Luca is like everything bad in a man. He's

essentially all the worst things that could be in a in an adult man it's like the only the only the only person i've seen anything of in love island um because i did watch it last series but like you were i think i was following on instagram so you could pretty much follow the show yeah but the only person i've become aware of is david oh man he's a legend is it he's a great guy right he's sweet yeah yeah so what's your problem with this lucas dude lucas just like he's toxic he's just like he's a bully yeah he's a misogynist like he did a thing right where they all i don't know how much you know of love island but they all go into this is it casserole or something like that where they

they get more yeah they essentially get the chance to sort of meet other girls right yeah they essentially get the chance to sort of meet other girls right um the other guys go in there and a lot of them sort of you know cheated or whatever and that's a bit that's an awful thing to do they go back and obviously billet makes a show but then they they also then take their they take their medicine a bit they've messed up luca didn't cheat but it's almost worse in the way he acted because then he turns around to jemma the girl he's with and he's like well i didn't cheat, but it's almost worse in the way he acted because then he turns around to Gemma, the girl he's with. And he's like, well,

I didn't cheat on you. I didn't cheat. I didn't even cheat on you. I didn't cheat on her. I didn't. It's literally like he's done her a favor by not cheating on her. It's like, it's like you walking down the street and going,

well, I haven't shot anyone in the face. Where's my fucking medal? It's like, that's just not what we're doing. So it was so like, it was such a toxic way. And he was,

oh man, I'd say one of the most horrible people i've seen on television jesus christ in a reality show i'd say he's one of the most yeah yeah one of the people this year no no no i think it's probably like nasty his name starts with l do you want to just add the qualifications to make this a realistic thing to say no I don't as a reality TV thing I hope that because even when his parents came in he went oh I've had a look

at myself and I'm actually going to change my behaviour and from there he almost become worse you know what it is

he's very very handsome and I don't think he's ever really had to sort of be brought to task and anyone actually just you know he's just got walk through life.

He's treated people like shit. I genuinely find him really dislikable. You've made me want to check him out now. And hopefully, what would be my absolute dream come true is if he is a fan of the Wolf and Hour podcast. But I also have to shout out Ian Sterling. He is fucking a G on that. His voiceover work on that is incredible.

Speaking of Gs, can we take this opportunity to congratulate the Lionesses? Oh, wow. Well done. Wow, wow, wow. Man. Huh? Mate, I was...

You know what? Sitting there with my daughter watching that, I got emotional, bro. I got my daughter watching that I got emotional bro I got really emotional watching it it was just like an incredible

what an can I also just shout out how incredible like the game aside right yeah how amazing they were as people

like how they like how how accessible and how just normal and decent they were like there was no like

the media training and you know when you watch the men's league football and i like you know men's football was great i'm not i don't think we should but women's football was they just felt so like they just felt untouched by it all and they just felt like this is they're just enjoying every single moment i'd say it's up there my top ever sporting events it seems to be a different uh vibe at women's football to men's football don't you mean like martin too smooth he's like my tour dude my tour dj he was doing box park wembley after the game right and um or during the game sorry and he said the atmosphere was like obviously the atmosphere at final b on real but he said it was different i mean he goes

there's like families out and shit like that. And he just said it was like, he just said the whole thing was good vibes. But I was not expecting England to beat Germany. I thought there was absolutely no way, if I'm being honest with you. So shame on me. Absolutely egg on my face.

I was pumped for it. You know, the person I love the most in that, I mean, I love that tip. Jill Scott, I thought was incredible when she came on. I was just like, what a legend. She was just having no shit. That's like, Jill Scott was everything that football should be.

And like proper, like, did you watch her interview afterwards? I was like, yeah, that's, that's, that's,

that's a journey. And also shout out, like, and me and you have been fortunate to sort of meet like Alex Scott, like Kelly Smith. And the people, when you look me and you have been fortunate to sort of meet, like, Alex Scott, like, Kelly Smith, and the people, like, when you look at, like, what they all had to do to get, you know, women's football where it is,

it's a fucking incredible thing, man. Like, genuinely incredible. It was really good. It's great, man. And we want to say, from the Wolf for now, congratulations. I imagine that's probably up there with the trophy in terms of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I made the mistake of doing a gig straight after the final.

Oh, how was it? It was fine, but. Where did you gig? I was at Always Be Comedy in Kennington. Always Be Comedy, great, great comedy club. But like, just that, you know, like I was sitting on the stairs and, you know, there's a stairs down the back of the pub, right? So I was sitting there just after the game had finished and like the door

was open because it was absolutely roasting and I just was looking in the streets and it's just like people just like it's coming and I thought

I can't I'm going to have to pull this gig man I don't know what this is going to be like but it was absolutely fine you know that what ABC comedy

always feels untouched by the outside world you know like when you I've played there when there's been big sporting events or other things going on in the world and you go there and it's like a beautiful room that outside world. You know, like when you... I've played there when there's been big sporting events or other things going on in the world

and you go there and it's like a beautiful room that just feels quite serene and like nothing, it's untouched by whatever else is going on. I'll tell you what did happen at that gig that night is that it was really hot in the room and I was just wearing a t-shirt but that room's really packed and I became conscious that I was sweating so much.

This is disgusting what I'm about to say. I was conscious that I was sweating so much. This is disgusting. What about, so I was conscious that I was sweating so much that, and you know, sometimes when you like, you know, when you say something or do an act out, something like that,

you can see in the light, like a, like, like sweat coming off you or whatever. I actually thought I might have to fucking give ponchos to the front row. Do you know what I mean? And allocate that splash zone. Was it that much sweat?

Mate, I was absolutely dripping. Did you have armpit? armpit yes no because we're in a white t-shirt but it started to do that thing where it gets moist and starts clinging to the body mate if you're going to bring this up bro we have to say that if it's clinging to the body the body is looking fine right now you look good man like genuinely i saw that picture i saw beckett put a little video up of you on um instagram yeah becca absolutely humiliated me there i i genuinely was like i i felt i felt like welling up did you man you looked amazing i was genuinely like was it up there with one of the top insta stories you've ever seen in your life? Yeah, for seeing you and for the hard work you've put in. Because I think it's fair to say

you've put in the hard yards. You're out there, you're going to the gym quite a lot. You're clearly eating well. Whatever you're doing is working for you. And man, you look good. You should genuinely... I feel genuinely quite emotional about it

because I know what a journey... I would love right now just to put my arm around you and just say, well done because i think it's incredible man oh thanks tom well yeah but hold on you've you've had the same thing so yeah but no but i think i can't just say it back to you yeah but also if i'm honest with you i'm putting weight on again because i went for like having a baby it just i just dropped off me and now it was like i don't know what i actually did whereas you've i think mine was nearly all anxiety and absolute fucking just drinking so much coffee because she wasn't sleeping now she's sleeping i've gone back to sleep and it seems like now i've got to fucking try and keep hold

of stuff yours is genuine hard work i think it's fucking incredible man i think you should give yourself a pat on the back no you're being really sweet thank you man it's fucking good it's inspiring i think you should own that shit. Unfortunately, don't feel any... Hold on, hold on. I've got to stop this. Okay, so let me... What I was about to say was, instinctively,

unfortunately, don't feel any more attractive or better for it. But that's not true. I'm glad I've lost the weight. But, listen, we've got to... Every time one of us goes to say something like this, we've got to, like, check ourselves before we wreck ourselves. Because I will say that all the clothes you had on,

they actually look better. You reckon? Even that hoodie you're wearing now. I mean, is that a Sandbanks, yeah? It is a Sandbanks, little Jamie Redknapp hookup. Let me just say that Sandbanks is a sick, sick brand. It is a sick brand. Because when Jamie first started talking about it,

I was like, you know, this is a mate, do you know what I mean? But actually, the gear's wicked. The hoodies are great. Mate, hoodies, I've got a nice little grey tracksuit you sent me. It's nice. me first start talking about it i was like you know this is a mate i mean uh but actually the gear's wicked the hoodies are great my hoodies i've got a nice little gray tracksuit he sent me it's nice it's a nice nice bit shout out jamie redknapp and also what they're doing ethically ethically yeah yeah two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on now.

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The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partner Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and Mastercard. Hello, darlings. This is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work live and play at chateau roosevelt their job is to provide once in a lifetime experiences for our guests and of course they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes vanderpump villa has

first-class luxury and world-class drama i'll be there will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1st, streaming on Disney+. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. I played in a golf tournament last week for the first time. Yeah, can I... Okay, I need to talk about this, all right?

Did you take a flight to play in a golf tournament? No. Number one, that's what some fucking, this YouTuber golf guy pro said. Right. As a joke. And it's been misconstrued.

The number one, I could afford a fucking private jet to fucking Glasgow for a game of golf is insane. Like it's insane. Also like anyone who knows my fucking wife, she would fucking kill me. Like, for so many reasons. To go and play golf. I flew up there with BA,

and I flew back with BA. It was a normal flight. Which actually fucked me, man. I geeked them right. So, hold on, hold on, hold on. But you did fly to Glasgow? Yeah. Right? This is what I'm trying to get my head around, okay? What is this tournament? fuck me man if i keep them so hold on hold on hold on but you you did fly to glasgow yeah right this is what i'm trying to get my head around okay what is this tournament

let me explain my reaction okay yeah i know how busy you are by the way this is not me criticizing i'm just trying to like i'm just trying to i'm just trying to get into your mindset on this right i know how busy you are i know hector you've also got grace right you flew to glasgow to play in a golf tournament like you're what a pro what what what you went to an you went to an airport you you went to an airport and got on a plane and the reason you're getting on the plane is that at your destination you were going to play golf that's that's what happened that's what that is that at your destination you were going to play golf. That's what happened. That's right. All those things are correct.

Yeah, I kind of am a golf player anyway. Talk me through it. Well, I gigged in Brighton the night before. Flo, shout out Flo. I tried to pull the gig in Brighton because I had this golf tournament and Flo pretty much had your reaction saying, alright, you're a stand-up comedian. You're not a professional golfer i've got to shout out flow

by the way because flow is the person at the moment who's like genuinely between you and flow i would not be back doing stand-up there's no way in the world i would be doing i wouldn't have had the confidence to do it and i wouldn't like flow's just like push push push and she's incredible like i literally need to shout something. Like she's amazing. But so she was like, you're doing that gig in Brighton. Like, did she say it like that?

Yeah. Genuinely. Cause I said, Oh yeah. Well maybe she was like, no, you sold tickets. You're doing that gig in Brighton.

I don't know. It was a solo show. It was this Tom and friends. No, no, no. It was just a solo show. It was just like me just doing like a warm work in progress for like,

and you wanted to pull it to go to golf. It sounds, Catherine went fucking livid. Catherine's seen me play golf. She was like, there's more chances

as everybody, like stand up comedy is something you've given your life. It's like me saying to Lisa, I'm missing the first episode of League of

Their Own because I'm entering a karate tournament. I've got to fly to Portugal to compete in the Cobra Kai Pro-Am. So, Flo was like why don't you just fly up on the Saturday morning

so sorry on the Wednesday morning so why don't you fly up for your big tournament on the morning instead of pulling the gig

for your big tournament so I fly up for this pro-am what time do you have to get up 5 5am like you're a fucking sports person 5am oh yeah on the grind again but you gotta hustle

back we go man yeah yeah watching motivational videos on the way to the airport you gotta be up before everybody else. Are they sleeping? This is a Tiger Woods documentary on the plane. I also, I made the mistake of not taking my own clubs. So I didn't have any clubs.

So it's all deemed almost pointless even being there as soon as I got there and realised that all the clubs were too short for me. Oh, is that why? Oh God. Okay. This is, there's so much to unpack here. So is that why when you turned up, Okay, there's so much to unpack here. So, is that why

when you turned up I saw an Instafig going, requested? So, you got up at 5am, right? Nearly,

nearly pulled a gig the previous night, get on the plane, arrive there, it's fucking Scotland. I realise that none of the golf clubs are loving that for you. I mean, fucking hell. At what point when you're walking around Glasgow did you think,

maybe I've been on board with another journey maybe I'm giving you more and more ammunition right I flew to Glasgow right the course I was playing at was an hour and ten

minutes drive from Glasgow were you totally were you totally like convinced that this is the right thing to do the whole way

you're on your way there I reckon I reckon look listen I could imagine i can't i can't by the way i can't actually imagine deciding to get up early to fly to glasgow to play in a golf tournament but you are much better than me but like i reckon midway through that hour and 10 journey i reckon i'd be thinking to myself this might have been a mistake really. Look, me and you have been like in another country with a taxi driver, right? Yeah. I also make the mistake of every time I get in a taxi,

making friends with the taxi driver. Yeah. So then there's no chance to sleep for an hour and a half like on the fucking drive. I'm then chatting to him about Glasgow where he grew up. Anyway, I get there, I haven't got the right clubs

and then I'm quite tired as well because it takes it out of you, you know. about Glasgow, where he grew up. Anyway, I get there, I haven't got the right clubs, and then I'm quite tired as well, because it takes it out of you, you know. It should be worth saying, I gigged in Brighton, which is like a three hour drive from my house, the night before.

So, I've like, literally spent all this time on that, yeah. Yeah, so what's so annoying to have a gig the night before a big tournament, isn't it? So,

I played okay. I think I put in an alright shift. Did you have a fun day? I really enjoyed it, yeah, yeah. And, like, man, fucking golf in Scotland is, like, genuinely, it was an incredible thing. Shout out to the LPGA. And, mate, women's golf, I watch it all the time.

I think it's brilliant. I watch it with grace. It's, like, I loved it, man. It was amazing. It is good. And I had a great time. But then, yeah, literally finished the game of golf at six. Oh, my God.

I just don't. Even then, was there any of you that regretted? Yeah, no. You know what I really regretted it? It was when I was getting in the car at 6.30 to go all the way back. No, I had like, I wouldn't be in my bed till like midnight, really. What did Catherine say about this, by the way?

I know Catherine wouldn't stop you from doing stuff, but she must have had an opinion. No, no. I think she knew that it was important. I should say as well, it's like a friend of mine, Rory, has released this golf brand that he's doing off his own back and it's all a friend of mine Rory has released this golf brand that he's doing

off his own back and it's all sort of very much like Sandbanks it's all sort of recycled stuff and he's making a guy of it and I'd said I'd do it

and I'd said and then I'd said okay well what you've done now is look I mean big up is it Rory

Rory yeah big up Rory and the but now you've made me look like an absolute no no but also I've just done a 10 minute I've just done a 5 minute roast on your whole day

and now it turns out you did it for really noble reasons no but it's an insane thing to do but also Catherine is incredible you're very lucky with her she's an amazing woman also I should say I found it like absolutely

weirdly in a week where the women's football with them winning I was chatting shout out to Leanne Pace I found it like absolutely and weirdly in a week where the women's football with them winning I was chatting shout out to Leanne Pace who I was playing with she was like

when I started chatting to her about sort of life and family and what she she'd been doing

as a PGA pro and stuff it's like she was sort of saying about just having children it's just something that she can't

really think of in a sense as a golfer it took her 10 years to get on the on the pro tour yeah and then you've basically got to keep up playing to a certain level and then if you were to have a child and go away from the game and take two or three years off you know you've got hope that you you've got someone at home who's gonna yeah be home and do that side of it and then you've basically got a hope that you can get back onto the tour and back to that little, it was like, the amount of like, all these women and chatting to a few of them,

you're like, fucking hell, man. It's like, so much harder, man, for them. Like, yeah, you think like a bloke, you can just,

you know, number one, the money's just insane in men's golf. You're talking about guys getting paid 60 million to go and play in another tour. And yeah, I just found it, I sort of,

it was just, yeah, in a week, it was quite eye opening of just the levels of difference that we have between men's sport and women's sport

and you know the infrastructure that sits upon either one so yeah stick your fucking roast up your ass you prick

oh that's a nice way to end that okay let's put some emails now this is a quick one but I think this is quite an exciting one

wow and I'd love to hear from more people that have had this happen I think you're going to be quite excited about this this is from the red bellied sloth and the anxious rabbit. Okay. It says, hi to all of the pod animals from sunny Mallorca. Wow, Mallorca.

Yeah. I just wanted to say thank you. This is pretty amazing. Thank you for giving me the confidence to do something I've never done before. After being married for over 10 years and going on numerous holidays together, amazing thank you for giving me the confidence to do something i've never done before after being married for over 10 years and going on numerous holidays together i've had the confidence to spend the day at the beach with no shirt on i'm not a big lad but have body confidence issues after listening to you guys i thought ah fuck it i don't know these people my wife thinks i'm all right and

that's all that matters so again a big thank you from the red-bellied sloth and newly converted to the pod, Anxious Rabbit. My guy! Yes! Huh? I love it, I love it, I love it. Oh my god. It's the best, right? Hearing that. That's the fucking... That'll never get old, just hearing people doing that

shit. Yeah, well, I imagine if it was just like six, seven consecutive weeks, we'd probably start to get a bit fed up with it. I wish I'd have been able to say consecutive there they're not really funny okay next email uh this is from the moose yeah okay on this email right so i had to get these emails and obviously so i use the gmail kind of thing and like it keeps putting up like suggested replies at the bottom of the email so like this email it's got like a box going thoughts question mark or sure i'd be happy to chat like what the fuck is going on yeah what is there anybody that fucking presses that thing to reply mate you know what it is it's

computers taking over man what do you mean taking no people will start pressing over pressing those buttons because laziness why is that what yeah but why does that mean they're taking over mate because all of a sudden our email replies and our text replies are just going to be fucking suggested and we'll lose the art of even conversation via email and via social media. And then we'll just literally have to rely on computers for everything. Yeah, well, thank God we haven't fallen in that hell already.

Do you know what I mean? What is wrong with me? Fucking hell! It's because you had so much Red Bull. Oh, mate, I'm absolutely, I'm sort of wired, but I'm anticipating

a crash. Of course there'll be a crash. I imagine it'll be at five past eight when I'm on stage in Portsmouth. You're like a raging big penis

full of Viagra at the moment. Yeah. No, at some point you have to go flat in again. My helmet is so purple

right now. Just really fucking angry. Like a porn star's dick. You just know at some point that it's all going to end just pathetic and shriveled just oh oh i think i was a bit angry on the podcast um okay this is from the moose it says hello swan wolf and al uh first of all please allow me to tell you that although i live in the although i live in the usa i'm a huge fan of you both i love king gary and avoidance as well as judge romesh and the ranga nation my probably is not the most dire issue but it's a tricky one and i'd really appreciate your opinions on how to proceed i'm an avid bowler and recently taken

apart to a bowling alley mostly for the free bowling as an opportunity to meet other bowlers in my new community one of the people i've become friends with has a serious stuttering issue uh as i'm generally very patient anyway he and i've become quick friends and we'll often talk and practice together the problem is he has somehow gotten the impression that my name is mark when it's actually mike i don't wear i don't wear a name tag so there's no real obvious way for him to see his error without me pointing it out i've considered telling him directly, but every time I do it in my head, it sounds rude and at best it would be embarrassing for him.

Do you have advice on how to correct this small oversight by my new friend so that it's not hanging over our friendship longer? Thank you in advance and to the Swan for choosing my email. Okay. Yo, Moose, Mark. Let me just... This is easy, man. This is so easy.

You just add him on Facebook facebook that's all you do bro you just literally make facebook friends with him and then he's going to see your name is mark and it's never going to be a thing because he just goes oh shit i've been calling him mike either makes a joke out of it or he just starts calling you mark because that's your name and or you just follow him on Instagram. This is literally like where social media is an absolute blessing. I think we talked about this almost like back in episode two or three of this podcast when I was calling my neighbor.

I think I was calling him James and his actual name. Actually, weirdly, his name is Mark. I don't know if it's the same Mark. I haven't seen him recently, but I was doing that for ages, and then someone said what his name was, I made a joke out of it, now we're firm friends,

and he's an absolute legend of a man. So what I'd say is, yeah, just do that Facebook Addy thing, or just basically walk up to someone else at the bowling alley, pay them like 20 bucks or something, and say, look, come over like three or four times while we're playing bowling.

And just basically come over and just call me Mark. Just say, oh, here's another beer, Mark. Oh, Mark, these are those hot wings you wanted, Mark. Oh, Mark, are you coming to Cyril's birthday this weekend? Can I get a couple more examples? Because I'm not sure what you mean. Mark, are you wearing your actual own violent bowling shoes or are they the ones I hired?

Mark, is that your VW Beetle that you parked in the manager's spot? Mark, what T-shirt were you wearing the other day? I really liked it. So basically, yeah, just get someone to... The problem with doing that, oh, by the way, that you've parked in a manager's spot. Mark, what T-shirt were you wearing the other day? I really liked it. So basically, yeah, just get someone to... The problem with doing that, oh, by the way, it's a great idea, but the problem with doing that is his name's actually Mike. about a week later Tony goes

my name is Mike why the fuck did that guy come in here the other day for an hour constantly calling me Mark? He misunderstood what I said as well. Mate, can I have a quick chat with you, please?

No, look, you did do it right. It's just that you keep doing it with the wrong name. You're reinforcing the mistake. No, I'm just fucking people calling me Mark. you're reinforcing the mistake like he's more convinced that my name is mark than he ever has been okay can you stop bringing chicken nuggets over this episode is brought to you by secret secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection free of aluminum parabens dyes dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late,

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to lightweight heat protectants and a silky smooth serum for a sleek finish. Wave goodbye to frizz and say hello to three days of smooth hair with the Tresemme Keratin Smooth Weightless Collection. Visit tresemme.com to learn more. You know, the one thing I don't understand about this story is they're practising bowling together. Aren't you putting your names in the fucking screen? Oh. What's going on?

Boom. Do you not do that? I might do nicknames like the Goose or something like that. Okay, well, put Mike. Yeah. Or Firewall. Yeah. Yeah. Or fire. Yeah. I think I actually think you could be quite joking about it.

I've got, I reckon there's about eight or nine people that I regularly see that I've never asked their name or they've told me their name and I've forgotten. And now it's too late to find out. And, and basically every time I see them, I sort of hope that I overhear somebody referring to them. Do you know what I mean?

Because if I say, sorry, what is your name? They'll go, like, it would be the end of the relationship. I was about to say that like it was bad. Obviously, I don't know them well enough to know their name. But I think you should, Jesus Christ, I need to calm down. What I think you should do, Mike, is you should just tell him, just make it a jokey thing.

Just go, mate. It would be hilarious. Maybe film it and send it in to the Wolf and Al podcast. We could put it up as one of those sort of funny viral videos. Yeah, I can imagine that's going. So, mate,

so I'm just going to go up, I'm just going to go up to this guy and tell him uh tell him what my name is here so uh wolf and i hope you enjoy um hello mate how you doing oh hey mark how you doing uh yeah good man uh look just a bit of a weird one i know we've been hanging out for a bit my name's actually mike it's not mark you seem to have got on the uh oh is it yeah Yeah. Oh, so you're not Mark? No, your name's Mike? Yeah. Oh, sorry about that.

No worries, mate. Hope you enjoyed that, Will, for now. Peace. Or he might say, well, why did you get that guy the other day to come over for food? Oh, dear. Okay.

I hope that helps mate okay this is uh a tricksy one here uh dear wolf al swan and cat firstly thank you for the pod shall i do that shall i do this i can mc this one yeah try it try it see what happens have you read it beforehand because if it's yeah yeah it's not it's well it actually do you know it's slightly yeah if it's a little bit sombre, you've done that before. You've done that before and you've given something a little bit too much stank. And it's quite a sort of...

You get halfway through and realise that... Yeah, it's horrible. That gear change, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not entirely sure what's going on. Okay. Firstly, thank you for the pod. I'm often giggling myself around the house

or vibrating the bed at night with silent laughter. It's a perfect distraction from the stresses of life. I really am very grateful. The two of you are true gems. Thank you. I'm hoping you might be able to offer some advice. My other half of 13 years, husband of one month,

best friend and all-round sweet, sweet soul, has an awful habit of putting his hands down his pants, mostly in the mornings and evenings, generally when he's relaxing, but it's a daily thing. friend and all-round sweet sweet soul as an awful habit of putting his hands down his pants most in the mornings and evenings generally when he's relaxing but it's a daily thing i'm not entirely sure what he's doing down there i think cupping his balls i'm i'm pretty certain it's a comfort thing but i really don't like it it's not particularly hygienic and it's also not a good look in front of our five-year-old daughter. I've brought it up a few times and said, I don't like it for the reasons I've mentioned.

And although he'll stop when I mention it, five minutes later, it's back in again. Not to annoy me. I'm sure it's just a habit. My question is, how do you break habits that are ingrained or encouraged by someone to try and break theirs without being an absolute nag? Thank you.

Is there anything either of you have had to work on to make the swan and cat happier and vice versa um so i i actually do this a little bit i actually when i'm relaxing i would like i'll yeah i don't know why i find it quite comforting putting your hand just down in front of your trousers do you actually do you actually go hand on skin no sometimes put it put it down the front of my trousers like on on my boxer shorts but I don't know why, I just find it quite a comforting thing but Catherine's like what are you doing? and then I'll go and wash my hands and sit back

but Catherine, you know the thing well done for throwing in the lie that you go and wash your hands and come and sit back you know the thing that has been the bone of contention that is and I've tried to stop, but now, again,

I slip back into, when I get really hungry, is eating with my mouth open. What? But if I'm really, really hungry, and like, you know, like a takeaway comes, and you're like, you know,

the first thing you're going to eat is smash your prawn crackers or your poppadoms or whatever, or even like your chips yeah yeah yeah i'm in the room with you go yeah but i i get so excited that they're there i'll literally grab them and go and then like even like the fucking cookie monster yeah i mean cookies is another thing and katherine will go oh's sake, close your fucking mouth. She's like, it's disgusting.

Did she say that? Did she say close your fucking mouth? Yeah, she's got to the point now where it is, yeah, there's an F word just thrown into it. Because it is like, even though I know it's disgusting, I just get so excited when the food gets there and I'm so hungry. Because when you did it just then, you put your face up to the camera. Are you in her face? I don't squeeze up to her face. But I know it sounds like fucking someone's put bricks in a washing machine.

It's like... I get really into it. I've got an eating problem. Go on. That was initially pointed out to me by Rob Beckett. And now I've realised that it's real. And I'm trying to work on it. And I'm pretty sure Rob's not the only person that's noticed it.

But I do a thing where, like, if I've got a fork, it's very difficult to sort of explain, but when I'm bringing a fork of food to my mouth, my tongue darts out just before the food goes to my mouth. Almost like a welcoming party. You know what I mean? It's sort of like this lizard-y kind of... Like that.

Rob told me I did it, and I didn't believe him because nobody's ever said it to me. And then I watched the bit back, and I am like, the food just comes, and it's like I'm a gecko and a fly's got just close enough for me to take it. So you lick the food off the fork? It's sort of like my tongue meets it first which is like a security guard and then bring yeah and then make sure it's

all right come in like he's asking the food for id yeah i've had to try and stop it because i think that's harder to stop than eating with your mouth open well thanks for the pep talk no no no that's that's that's because i think well that's i think that's a lifetime habit whereas you have just i don't know picked up as a recent thing to be more attractive to Catherine. Also, sometimes if your nose is blocked, you'll always eat with your mouth open, right? Yeah, yeah. That's also the noise. But by the way, the other thing I want to talk about is the fact that you nearly gave me a hang-up.

Do you remember when we were coming back from the game of football? Yeah. gave me a hang up do you remember when we were when we were coming back from uh the game football and when you told me you basically asked me really sort of earnestly and sincerely um mate why do you keep why do you keep touching yourself when you're like lying around your genitals and stuff i said have you got an itchy willy yeah oh yeah you did say that have you got an itchy willy and i go why and you go you just keep like scratching yourself and touching yourself down there and then i was like do i and you went yeah no just like are you right i was like do i and he went yeah you do yeah like a couple of the guys would know this as well i was like what you carried on for so fucking long i was genuinely convinced i had a thing because you're such a good friend you thought to yourself

i'm good you know what i'm gonna give him another hang up as a gift it's so funny because i said it it's such a like i genuinely thought like you really because you really you have like a load of different romesh's right if there was bang on Romesh there, you'd have been all fuck off. To turn to one of your favourite people and your best pals in the world and say, have you got an itchy willy? You told me to fuck, because you were in a certain headspace. I went, have you got an itchy willy?

And you went, why? I thought you'd just keep on. Anyway, we've not been helpful. We've not been helpful to Gemma. What I'd say is, I'd just say probably just keep on just saying to him, boom, stop doing that, stop doing that, and then hopefully it'll work. That's what I'd say.

Here's my question, Gem. Does he want to stop? Because you're never going to get him to stop if he doesn't want to stop. That's true. So I would have a chat with him to find out. And then what I would do is if he does want to

stop then you have to make an agreement that you'll call him out every single time he does it and that would be quite annoying, it's quite a job for you but if you really want him to stop and he really wants to stop then that's the only way to do it and it might not be, you know, if you don't want it to be you nagging, it could be

this is a mad suggestion that I've just come up with, but like, if he wears boxer shorts, get him to put on a, by the way, I'm freestyling this, but I do think it'll work. Get him to wear a pair of pants underneath his boxer shorts or something else. What, white fronts? Yeah, maybe. Maybe some briefs or something, right?

Because then what will happen is, every time he goes to do that, I'll go, well, I'm aware of that. And then he'll remember it's because he's not supposed to. That's actually really, really good advice. I just made that up. Do you think that? I think that might work. I think that might work.

Yeah. Again, maybe. Like for that new segment that you've been talking about, is film him with his new. That's a great idea. Actually, do you know what? Clip together all the instances when your husband's cupping his balls, please. And then, yeah, send them in.

And send it in. What if I just can blur out his face? One of his... Yeah, when we play it onto the audio podcast. You know what we need to do? We need to sort out... That guy who did the animation was incredible. We should shout him out, man.

That was amazing. We are talking... I've been talking to him. Yeah, what was his name? I'll have to find out. We'll edit the bit out where Tom looks at his phone. Okay, right. So shout out Joseph for doing that. I think that, yeah, hopefully we can do a few more of those.

I mean... Yeah, the response was mad. I actually think if we can get him to do more of those. I mean, although the labour intensivity... Actually, he said he could do them pretty easily. But you know what we should do, actually? Let's just do this. I don't know if we should do it as a poll but

if Joseph and his team can animate say 10 clips from the past episodes what would be the clips

that you want them to animate I guess that would be a good question okay okay you want that emailed you want that yeah yeah

so we just get the swan to process all of that this fucking no but you're you've got a bit of time off after these two gigs, you said. So you could go through that. I'm going away. Yeah, but when you're sitting by the pool, you could just get up a little tally chart. Yeah, all right.

Yeah, thanks so much. Gem, I hope that helps. Yo, Gem. Good luck. Keep it real, yeah. Okay, let's finish off with this, actually. Cool, cool, cool. This is, last week we talked about doing a small business shout-out,

and we've got loads in, so we're going to work through them as much as we possibly can. I have since had it confirmed that the Parenting Health podcast do do this, so that's good. It's good to know that. Yeah, but you know what? It's maybe a collab kind of vibe that we're both just shouting out as many businesses as we can i don't think collab with parenting hell well no i just think that they can't i can see the benefits for us i can't see

any benefits for them no i don't think it'll be enough people shouting out small businesses at this time in society okay uh so this is actually quite appropriate bearing in mind the fringe is on hello i'm shouting out a small business from the city of edinburgh for the past two months i've had the pleasure to work in a cafe called cactus coffee just off princess street on a princess street behind the apple store cactus sits to serving delicious serving delicious foodie bits and bobs as well as being entirely entirely cactus themed not only super cool but aesthetically very pleasing not only is the food great but the people i work with are sweet sweet souls like yourselves who love shooting the breeze and making cactus

feel warm and welcoming it's the best job i've had whilst being a student and couldn't ask for a better team to work with if you're ever in edinburgh give cactus coffee a visit love the pod guys keep doing you kind regards cara wow cactus coffee hit it up i kind of want to just jump on a train to edinburgh just go and get a Cactus Coffee. Take my golf clubs. Also, I forgot to mention this. Two guys in... By the way, shout out Cactus Coffee.

Head over there. There are two guys in the front row at the show you said wearing T-shirts saying, you do you. Oh, really? Yeah. Amazing. I just wanted to look. Are they official merchandise, are they?

No. Oh, well. Maybe we should actually sell those. I did check that. I'm sure we will do in a bit. You'll be straight on the phone, won't you? Revenue stream that we've missed out on. So, guys, keep sending in your small business.

We'll shout out as many as we can. And also, like, one of the things I'm quite conscious of is Romesh is going to have a lovely break, a nice little time away. So I guess other pictures of is Romesh is going to have a lovely break, a nice little time away. So I guess other pictures of you on your holiday doing certain things, ping those into the podcast. So, yeah, like it's sort of a holiday club for Romesh and the guys.

That would be quite cool, Rom. Okay. Tom, it's that time, baby. Take us out. Pete Lowcroft had yearned all his life to have the biggest birthday cake in the town. Every year it came to his birthday and his parents would get him the smallest little cupcake because they couldn't afford a big cake. Pete Lowcroft would go to other people's birthday parties and always just feel really, really jealous of these big birthday cakes

when he used to see them glistening covered in lovely icing and numbers upon the top of them pete lowcroft used to turn to his parents and say yo uh for my birthday this year i'd love a really big big cake and old mother lowcroft and old father lowcroft would turn around and say well you know what pete like we can't really afford birthday parties and such or big birthday cakes we use all the safes we have for the cupcake that we give you as time passes on pete lowcroft gets a really really good job and he throws a birthday party himself and he goes into a big cake and pour him and he said, can I get the biggest birthday cake of all? And he gets it

and he has a massive birthday party and loads of people turn up and everyone basically starts having a big slice of his birthday cake and some people like it and some people don't because you can't please everyone all the time so some people are like, oh this is a carrot cake i don't really like carrot i love

carrot cake and pete lowcroft stands and watches people no one really really seems to have as much enjoyment out of it as he thinks and he has a slice of it and he just thinks that wasn't quite as amazing as i thought it was an old mother low Croft comes over and she's just got a little solemn cupcake made just for him. And she gives it to him and she says, I brought you this, this little cupcake, like I always do. And he has a bite for it,

and it tastes all the sweeter. And he scoffs it, pushes it into his mouth as fast as he can. The moral of the story is this. Sometimes amazing things come in small packages. Enjoy the gifts given to you. That can be anything. A nice bit of weather, a walk in the sun, a cuddle with a child, or the stroke of a

dog. Don't always be looking for the bigger piece of the cake or that silky icing that you think might change your life for the better, but invariably won't. Love now and enjoy you, because you know what? You got this. Nice.

Really nice. Really, really nice. I've got to say, when I started off, I really didn't know anything about nice. Really, really nice. I've got to say, when I started that off, I really didn't know anything about that. No, no. It's quite complicated.

It's a little bit like Pulp Fiction, I thought. Okay, guys. Thank you so much for listening to The Wolf and Out. I'm sorry about my Red Bull levels of aggression. We are playing out.

JT, have you got a song, by the way? I've got a song. No, no, no. You go, you go, you go. I think you should do the songs. I'll do the sum ups. That's cool.

Okay, fine. So the song that we're playing out this week is something that it's summer. Put this on as you bop out the house. You'll feel great. It's Three Six Mafia, Stay Fly. Guys, thank you so much. Big up yourselves.

Peace out. Sweet souls. Big up yourselves. Love you. Bye. Big up yourselves. Peace out. Sweet souls. Big up yourselves. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. Thank you.