Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 78: Wardrobes, Coffee & TikTok Tom

Episode Date: November 8, 2023

We’re talking… messy wardrobes, high-level hygiene, a very strange dinner table, the errors of hanging up T-shirts, loud irons, cap collections, Tom’s new TikTok videos, social media food reviewers, Pret problems, bogus baristas, a very dubious story about cronuts and some calorie confusion. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest Ham Sub made with our new Fresh Sliced Deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest Ham. We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinner deliciously, breakfast brilliantly. We're talking friggin' fresh slicing and I'm yelling yes way! Get a 6-inch Black Forest Ham for only $4.99. Only at Subway. Price and participation may vary. Extras, taxes and delivery additional. Expires April 8th.

Why not kick back with a cold smooth bush? Shhh. Shhh. Smooth taste. Great value. Bush Lager. Enjoy responsibly. Must be legal drinking age. Yum. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Drinking Edge. That's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck the censorship.

Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it.

The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog welcome once again to the wolf and meow how are you tom you know what i'm looking i'm looking at your room like we've talked about this off i say off air that sounds like we should sound like fucking jamie thingston but um uh um but that's an incredible bedroom I think that

might be my favourite room you've ever done I find that actually really really like I'm not even in it and I find it

really like inspiring well this is I'm in Charlie's bedroom and right in that connection by the way

oh is it better yeah it's really wonderful well I have I'm having internet problems at the moment. I don't want to do what you did, which is basically moan about it until somebody from the company listened to the podcast,

then fixed it, and then you sort of started singing the praises of the company because they helped you out as an individual. I don't want to do that. But I'm having some internet issues that I'm hopefully going to sort out today. I've also done a really stupid thing. Are you at home all day today? So you're doing as you know i'm doing i i well i'm glad you said that

because um i've got monday we're filming because we're filming saturday yeah and um i decided to do some okay i'm all over the place here because i've had a coffee but um i went to the gym with Sweet Sweet Lisa this morning. Nice. And I went to grab my gym T-shirt. And I wanted to get a T-shirt from sort of out the back of the T-shirts. And there was a bit of disruption. And Lisa went into the wardrobe and she looked at my stuff.

And she sighed. It was like a really fed up. I know the sigh. Catherine does. It was a really fed up, like, I can't believe I've got to deal with this every day of my life, sort of sigh. Do you know what I mean?

That was what I took from the sigh. And so we went to the gym and I said, well, I tackled it. I said to her, I could not notice it, that you had the flawed look of a woman that was in a prison. Wow. And she said that, she just goes, oh, it's just because I, because the thing is, 45 years old, I'm untidy.

I've just got to accept that. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm an untidy, I would just got to accept that. Yeah, I'm the same. I'm an untidy. I would say fastidiously hygienic to the point of an issue. Yeah, but I'd say your hygiene is exemplary. I'd say your hygiene is incredible. I'd say, genuinely, I'm going to say this now and fucking put this on record. You can quote me.

You're the most hygienic male I know. There's no... You rate highly in human beings I know more I wasn't expecting a compliment from there but look I'll take it so then I said I thought to myself

so basically there's one of two ways that could go just quickly on the hygiene thing I'd eat I would eat food from your armpits. As it went on, I was so delighted that you didn't go where I thought you were going to go, which was just sort of... No, no, no.

...split my cheeks and eat a fucking meal off my arsehole. Sort of a little hot dog propped up in the kisser. That wouldn't be fun, because, number one, I couldn't see your face when I was doing it. Well, I'd try and look round as much as i could yeah but that would just be just distracting the way i think the way i would do it i think if you were to be in for my ass is i would sort of bend my body over like you know one of those little step ladders having clothes shops to get up to the high stuff i'd sort of i'd sort of hinge my body over that so my arse was sort of presented.

Like a table. Like a table, yeah. Like a table that you could sort of prop stuff up in. In many ways, better than a table. I could stand and eat like that. Yeah, you could do. I don't know what the meal would be. Because I'd have to be careful, obviously,

because of you. Obviously not soup. be because i'd have to be careful obviously because of you obviously not soup but yeah i wouldn't want to do meat because obviously because ethically for you so maybe some sort of like yeah just sort of like i don't know like a vegetable lasagna vegetable lasagna off my ass i i i what the one thing I would ask is that you put the serving, sort of, the dish somewhere else.

Yeah. What I don't want is you taking a hot lasagna dish straight out of the oven and putting it onto my crevice. I was thinking there was not a plate.

I was thinking the lasagna rests on your back. Well, yeah, of course. Otherwise, what's the point of doing this whole exercise? Yeah. Otherwise, I'm just a guy eating off... It's a race against time, well, yeah, of course. Otherwise, what's the point of doing this whole exercise? Yeah. Otherwise, I'm just a guy eating off.

And then what do you, it's a race against time then, because I guess you're losing lasagna to the, to the valley. It's quite, if it was quite a thick set of lasagna, quite a heavy set of lasagna, vegetables in it.

My only, my only, it's a knife, big, big job for a knife and fork on lasagna. Actually, it's probably better to go with like a penne, like a penne, penne arrabbiato or something like that. just sort of a knife and fork, I can assign you. Actually, it's probably better to go with a penne, like a penne arrabbiata or something like that.

Yeah, just sort of a mound of it. Yeah. It's not like I can eat with my fingers. So, anyway... I don't know if we can leave this in, but usually when I'm eating pasta... I imagine that's what you'd be saying over the last bit of penne I usually like to mop up my bowl with a piece of garlic bread

I can't think of anything I'd enjoy more than feeling the sort of tender mopping of a soggy bit of garlic bread as you get out that bit of spicy tomato just you mopping it up going do you know what

Rob I don't even think you need to clean yourself up after that I've done a pretty decent job with that garlic bread it's actually

a lot of people sort of I've started to wonder why they don't use that instead of like general towels and stuff like that

it's got such great absorbent qualities the old garlic bread and it leaves a nice aroma behind afterwards yeah but Tom now my bloody

arse stinks of garlic so anyway the point is I'm untidy right and Lisa isn't untidy she's a very tidy person this is literally this is my life.

Yeah, and I would go as far as to say that she sees mess where I don't. And it's only when she, do you know in Men in Black, when after he becomes one of the Men in Black, he suddenly sees all this stuff. That's what it's like with Lisa every time she goes, the bedroom's a mess. And I go, no, it isn't. And then she goes in and it's like she puts on a pair of glasses

and I go, God, it is fucking bad goes in and it's like she puts on a pair of glasses and I go oh god it is fucking bad this do you know what I mean like this isn't like yeah so do you think like

then this is a really lazy observation because we might just be messy people and I have got friends male friends who are incredibly tidy the frond is fucking insane the frond the frond looks

just everything I have never seen that guy not be immaculate I mean he's a neatulate he's a neat freak he's a neat freak he's got that vibe do you know what he said the other day

he's just he was saying to me in his new house he's looking at a sofa and I sort of said oh I sort of started showing him some sofas

and he was like Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom I've done a floor plan and I've done a mood board I was like oh my god like he's so fucking incredible

I mean he's a director so I imagine that he's sort of incredible i mean he's a director so i imagine that he's sort of used to yeah he's a director but he's also like like in the office he is like literally it's like i leave this house with my wife and i go to the office with james and if i leave a cup or like a sort of container where i've had some takeaway he'll be like come on mate come on i was like i literally finished that 10 minutes ago let's just let it sit there it's yeah let it sit there for how long? Just the idea of you bent over a table

and I've just finished my lunch. Just to front... Police to front, at least. He's out there. His arseholes are out there for everyone in the office to see, Tom. Anyway, so there's one or two ways this could go right lisa was obviously pissed off but but she's very sweet like she she wasn't i it almost makes me feel worse that the part of her is i feel like she's accepted her lot in life and that is that her husband is messy do you know what

i mean but but this morning it got to her right like you know i basically she i think she tidied up and then i've gone in in 30 seconds sort of undone all of the good work that she'd done right so yeah so fair so there's one or two ways that this can go because i'm very childish man as well as well as being untidy is that i can get on the defensive and say something like yeah which i did think about i thought about saying something like well i'm going to be away next week like filming so you'll be delighted with your tidy house

you know I thought about saying something childish like that you know I'm not proud of it you know it's a sort of you get

I've said things like that I was going to look at school that's the sort of thing yeah but then I thought do you know what I'm actually going to

do something here I'm going to take action so I took all my t-shirts out and I'm in the process of rearranging the whole system. Right. So before I got into this podcast, I've been ironing all my t-shirts. So they're moving from a folded wardrobe situation to a hanging wardrobe

situation. Cause Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Please. I adore you. Please don't. Please don't ruin this system. No, I adore you. No, can I just say, yeah, you're biting off a lot there with the hanging system. I've tried it, mate.

I've been there. Tom, don't. Try the hanging system with T-shirts. Tom, I'll be honest with you. I don't know if I can, genuinely, I don't know if I can handle what you're about to say. Just get it out. What's the problem with the hanging system?

I'm going to say, I've done the hanging system right the hanging system is a lot more tricky to keep on top of than the folding yeah but the fault and also can i say no no can i just say as well right folding is for fucking idiots right like rolling you have to that's the fucking that's the thing a nice roll t-shirt right then you can see them all you're not you're not picking them out from the bottom you don't have to pull them up to go through which one you want you have them rolled nice thick roll what's wrong with the hanging system the hanging system just a lot for lisa and you to keep what you've really got if you're you've got to be that you know have you seen the david beckham document how he is that's who you've got to be that's what that's what it requires to be a hanger

do you know what i mean like it's an insane amount it's that's a life that's a dedication and i'm going to tell you now right because you're saying a lot of stuff i can like i associate with myself a lot of your traits are some similar to mine i tried hanging when we first moved into this house it was one of the worst things i ever did well might say as well because then then i'm making more work and you'll be making more because me and you are very like you know at the moment and you're exactly when you're saying, right, you've taken action. One of Catherine's pet hates is me going, actually, you know what? I want to do something about that.

And I pull everything out of the wardrobe. That's what I've done. That's what I've done. That is what I've done. I'll do this now. And she's like, yeah, but you know what? We had a day planned today of doing nice things because you had a day off. And now our day together is me watching you make more work over the next six months for me because that like she will be

really amazing and katherine will hang up the t-shirts and then i'll just be like oh thanks yeah jumpers hang cardigans hang jackets hang jeans i'm 50 50 on well jeans are moved from hang to fold now oh my god this you literally it's like you know what this is this is a very martin mcfly situation you're me a few months ago i did that i put them back i put i folded i rolled the jeans right rolled the jeans that lasted for about three months and then it's just like a nightmare trying to yeah why is it a nightmare mate you know you know when I looked at let me say like David Beckham documentary

very much enjoyed it I like Big D what the fuck I forgot his initials I forgot his initials I love Big D so that's not something you'd say while you're

eating your penne out of my arse I love Big TV right but when I look at that wardrobe I've got to say I looked at it

I was like fucking hell that's the dream right what he's got there that is the dream but the requirement it takes it's like

hold on I assume that once you've set the system up then what are you shaking your head for? Because me and you are naturally messy people. Look, look, I don't know if this is you. I will do things to the point where I'm like, oh, actually, I'll take action.

Like, I'm out of the house a lot. I'm going to do, like, washing. I'll do a load of washing. I'll do washing. I'm into the small... Catherine's out. I'll do some washing. What will happen there is I'll put the washing in the washing machine,

put the washing on, go and play with Grace play a game of FIFA watch something on television and by the time Catherine gets back and you know we'll have a bit of dinner

then the next morning she'll go I might do some washing she'll open the washing machine and there'll be just a load of stinking washing in because I forgot that I put the washing in

because I set off with the best intentions I was like that's going to be I want this to be I want to be a better version of myself as around the house but then I just didn't follow it through and it requires like they're like to organize a wardrobe right like I used to I used to mock the thing like people go I've got someone who's coming around to organize my wardrobe and give me a system I used to take a mick out of them now I look at and go if you could afford to got someone who's coming around to organise my wardrobe and give me a system. I used to take the mick out of them. Now I look at it and go, if you could afford to do that,

what an incredible thing to do. Like my wardrobe, Catherine at one point, when we first moved in, we went for it. It was like literally watching us teaching Grace letters and numbers at the moment. She was like, how do you want your card? Maybe you should have them right here. This will be your sort of woolies. These can be your crew neck, whatever.

This will be your jeans. These will, you know, and go through it all. And Catherine laid it out impeccably, right? It lasted for about two weeks. And now it's like, if you look to my wardrobe now, it's just all over the place. It's a shit show. Do you know what?

I came on here thinking this can be some sort of triumphant kind of Romesh has taken action. And now I'm more, I mean, the other thing is, i'm balls deep in it now i'm halfway through look look look you know what you know what there's a part of me that if you could do this i could do it and i kind of want it's a bit like you know like you're you know it's an underdog story you versus a wardrobe if you can get into a situation one right we're in like two three months you go to me hey hey wardrobe systems working i will look at you as an inspiration i'll follow you into that battle and go you know what he's done it i can fucking do it and before you know it we you know everyone

starts having wardrobes at work you could be you could you know be the guiding light what i would say is i'm finding ironing very therapeutic you know i hate it i thought i hated it until this morning now i think i love it i can never have you seen they've got these new full displays i had to put music on because uh i started to be alone with my thoughts as i was ironing and that was a horrifying place it was like the end of event horizon i i had to get i had to put something on to drown the noise out of my own brain it's was awful. Yeah, it's a killer, that. I like hoovering. I find hoovering quite therapeutic.

Because the noise of the hoover sort of cancels out the imposter syndrome. Yeah, it's that white noise. Yeah. If anything, I'd like a vacuum cleaner that's really fucking loud. It absolutely tunes out your throat, like, completely. You can't even hear your own voice. You just, like, carry it around on your back the whole time, like a fucking ghostbuster gun. I just screamed at the around on your back the whole time like a fucking ghostbuster gun.

I just screamed at the top of its lungs the whole time I was using it. Just running your tap as you're doing it. Just to break the monotony. What's your favourite

thing to wear? Jeans? Absolutely not. Jeans are the least favourite thing to wear. T-shirt's great. It's quick. Do you know what I mean?

I want a quick payoff. Do you know what I mean I want a quick payoff do you know what I mean which is great news for Lisa you know what I find really tricky is the is anything that's got sort of stitched in label and you go over the iron

and it'll do that shrink thing that it does yeah I've ruined quite a lot of clothes from my inefficient ironing you know when you feel the iron stick and then you look down

and it's got a little wrinkle like a nana's pouch do you know what I mean You can feel the iron stick and then you look down and it's got a little wrinkle like a nana's pouch. Do you know what I mean? And you know you're never going to be able to get rid of that. You've basically singed it. One day, do future you a favor. Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed.

It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. In today's economy, saving money is like an extreme sport. Coupon clipping, promo code searching. It takes skill, speed, sweat. Unless we're talking Kudo's new phone, internet, and streaming bundle. With the HappyStack, you can sit back and stack up the savings on Kudo Internet, a sweet phone plan, Netflix, Disney Plus, and Amazon Prime, all starting at just $99 a month. Stack more, spend less. The Happy Stack, only at Kudo. Conditions apply.

Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice. Nice. What's it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah.

Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. in spiced flavours. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. I'm loving the fact you've got the Wolfenau. I've lost my Wolfenau cap. I'm really devastated by it. Is that a new one?

It's not a new one, no. Speaking of Wolfenau, by the way, this is disgusting. I wore a hat to the gym and it's got like a salt line on it. Yeah. Disgusting. A few hats. Yeah.

But also not just, no, but there's a part of me that shows you've been putting in the hat. What'd you do? How'd you clean your hat? There is actually a, like, okay,

we're going to have to get into this now. You've got, actually, but just before there's a little digression here. Let's put a we'll come back to this but it just reminded me yeah uh thank you to everybody who came to the wall for now at the apollo it was an amazing show not i'm not saying we were amazing i'm saying the vibe in the room was amazing it was like it was a great but the the reason i mention it is because

and thank by the way from the bottom of our hearts, thank you so much. You were part of a really special night. And Tom and I were talking about it afterwards, and it's like we love doing this podcast so much, and then to meet people that listen to the podcast, we don't take it for granted. It's amazing. But the reason I mention it is because it's yet another example of how I'm not that convinced

that Catherine and Lisa should spend time together because what we essentially had to deal with when they both turned up was before the show, Barry and I were about to go out in front of three and a half thousand people, a roast, a joint roast, two-pronged attack by Lisa and Catherine

on our professional integrity integrity on our mental state on the way that we keep our stuff on our general level of negligence I mean it was insane the fact that we had a dressing room a sort of safe space which was sort of then turned into a essentially what was sort of a social space for well it was a nando's eating chamber because everybody turned up inside it they wanted to yeah um what i did notice as well as as we both did we both adore flow it brought quite a sort of like uh bantery side of flow out where sort of like she wanted to be queen of the banner so she was sort of almost going two-footed in there oh there was people coming in i think from the audience at one point just to sort of see who

could roast us the best realising there was quite a vibe going what I knew was going on was when Gratz slipped out the door and then sort of came back and said

oh you two will need to get changed which would have been something that you'd do in your shared dressing room usually we had to go to Gratz's changing room

we'll leave that story there because that was I feel rather bad about what sort of... What transpired in that dressing room, yeah. Well, I had to use the toilet and I didn't want to go... Look, Catherine is sort of like... Already sort of knows what a disgusting beast I am

before showing that I'll need to go to a number two. I didn't necessarily want Lisa having that opinion on me. And look, let's ignore the fact that there's six dressing rooms at the Apollo and you could have used any of the other ones but you chose to use Gratz's. Yeah. It was actually

a really lovely toilet, I'll say that much. And yeah, and I was very thankful as always to Gratz. But I would say, yeah, it was an amazing night.

It was very incredible. But also, like, Catherine was like, oh yeah, you know, whenever you and Ron were sort of taking a mick out of me and Lisa, me and Lisa would look at each other and give each other a look and I was like, oh, yeah, you know, whenever you and Ron were sort of taking a look at me and Lisa,

me and Lisa would look at each other and, you know, give each other a look. And I was like, oh, God. I'm not too sure that we're that far away from an actual Cat and Swan spin-off podcast. I actually spoke to Lisa. I actually spoke to her about, first of all, I mean, I don't know if you suggested to Cat, but I suggested to Lisa

that she comes out on stage. Yeah, I said, yeah, on stage. The anger in her face at the very suggestion that she'd come out on stage was enough for me to not suggest it again. But the other thing was, is that Kat mentioned your hat collection.

So apparently you've got 200, is it over 200 caps you've got? I've got a lot of caps, yeah, yeah. Which is not, I've got a problem with, I mean, I'm on your side, but does that require maintenance, that hat collection? I've got, yeah, I've got, yeah, but then I've got, these have been collected, by the way, since the age of about 22, 23. I've been collecting, they've moved houses with me,

it's not like I've, but yeah, I mean, also there's quite a lot of them have been put in the loft now. but that's so i've got quite a few i've got nice ones that you know the worst thing you can do when you talk about that salt mark is you've got a cap that you really really like and you wear it on a sort of hot summer's day and you'll go somewhere and that's all my will kick in and then like there is you know we'll get into this in a minute because also lisa and katherine one of the other things was the training collection they jumped yes the clothes yeah that both of us had brought new clothes for the war which i don't think is mad it's a big show it's a big moment we both brought new outfits you know but there's a lot of eye rolling about the new outfits and

yeah well one of the things that i do slightly resent and uh i know she's going to listen to this because actually i've got a big announcement to make the last three times i've got into the car lisa's had the wolf on our lawn wow so been a real turnaround and i don't know if it's because she's been listening to me going in on her on this podcast but um well i doubt she has because she listened to parenting help but um but anyway she started listening to it with my dad uh yeah my mom listens to it on her own but katherine and my dad have now, whenever they're together, sort of go back through the sort of back catalogue a bit.

My dad's been picking out pointers and sort of giving me one-liners that I can sort of throw into the mix. There's not really that kind of thing. He actually genuinely tried to give me a bit of material for Bournemouth last night. I was like, I can't open with that joke. Well, the thing that I sort of find slightly uh irritating is lisa talking about my clothes

shopping as if she doesn't receive loads of clothes as if she doesn't buy loads of clothes herself i mean oh yeah the hypocrisy yeah it's quite a step i mean i didn't do it then because it's a bit you're very much playing away from i felt a way i was playing away from home at the fucking den yeah and so I just felt like any sort of retaliation would have been absolutely seized upon

do you know what I mean because Flo Lisa and Catherine both really warmed to their theme yeah and they're all quite they're all very

fiery characters when they want to be they gave us a proper shoo-in basically if it was a three on three like sort of tag team match Gratz ran out as quickly as he could leaving me and you and me and you were very much Proper shoo-in, basically. If it was a three-on-three, like, tag-team match,

Gratz ran out as quickly as he could, leaving me and you. And me and you were very much, yeah, it was very much like Crawley Town versus, like, Prime Man City at fucking Yetiat. We were done. And we'd had a man sent off. What was that about going to your sweat thing, right? Yeah, go on, yeah.

Because there is... So, look, I've given you a lot of stick about your obsession with TikTok. And, you know, when you come on here and turn around and go, oh, yeah... Well, not only have you given me a lot of stick, Tom, some of your stuff that you've said to me in this podcast has led to me getting heckled on social media.

So, yeah. So, for example, I posted aok the other day and somebody just went oh tiktok roms back or whatever that was one of the first comments on the video then another thing is i posted up on instagram somebody said make sure you include this as a story as well romesh you know how you like to do that all these little things that you're these little wool vine followers have started to latch on to oh please let's get it as a t-shirt and start and started throwing it at me so so thanks for that but anyway go on well we were chatting about because obviously i'm just getting to grips with tiktok now i'm just sort of uh probably one of my

funniest uh well actually actually while we're talking about tiktok i'd love to draw the listeners attention to tiktok you did let me I just want to make sure that I tell everybody how to find this because it really is worth a watch. It was... I would say... Hold on. Just by now. Just bloody... Hold on. This...

This TikTok by Tom... Now, obviously, when you're friends with comedians you do you do posts and stuff that you're not proud of because you're promoting stuff right and sometimes you just go well that's just the nature of the base as I click onto your tick-tock now first of all I see you've changed your profile picture I've also seen that you've done a Harry Potter TikTok for some reason. But that's not the TikTok that I want to draw attention to. Which, hold on, let me find it. Okay, that's...

That's the music from the TikTok, and it's accompanied by sort of jumping photos of Tom on... It's one of the most incredible things I've ever fucking seen. When I saw it, I thought, this can't be Tom's account. But that is your account. Can I just...? So imagine... This music... But that is your account. Can I just... So imagine... This music...

Alongside animated photos of Tom on stage. But bearing in mind that, Tom, you're not the most animated when you're on stage, if you don't mind me saying, do you know what I mean? Like, it's so... Can you talk me through the origin story of that post, please? Well, so I'd seen someone, right, had posted a number of pictures with what I thought at the time...

Look, I'm going to actually live with you. I didn't hear the music of that. I just thought there was music to it because I was in the car with Gratz and we were chatting. I thought, actually, I want to put something a bit edgy and a bit cooler. And I saw someone had done that. And it was one of my first times

putting one of these montage things up. So I stuck up a couple of pictures. I was actually, do you know, this is a sad thing, right? I sort of was quite proud of it at one point. I just thought, you know, you've learned a new skill. You know, you'll keep getting those fucking Instagram things going,

oh, how to be a better person, use a new skill, learn something new, learn to cut videos, YouTube accounts. So I thought, oh, yeah, I've learned something new. I've sort of, it's a collage kind of vibe. And I forgot it was even there until, and it was easy to forget it was there because I think like 300 people have watched it um and then you mentioned it backstage um and then uh you know antonia uh what i loved actually because uh again not to sort of like you know but uh i adore antonia she's one of my favorite people antonia quickly you know there was a lot of roasting going

on about the video and Antonia made sure to go oh by the way I was nothing to do with that video I was nothing to do with that she literally

Antonia's across social media yeah both of our social medias so she was like no I was nothing to do with that he's gone rogue

he's done that on his own and I was like literally like what was the guy who worked with Trump Spicer she couldn't wait

to get a fucking oh nothing to do with me nothing to do with me, nothing to do with me. I was like, it's insane. I respected her for it, to be honest with you. Yeah, I respected her for it, because I wouldn't, there's nothing, I can't run. I'm fucking, I've gone out to bat on this thing. Yeah.

So the picture, yeah, that was, but now I find it probably actually, I would say since, look, you've roasted me in the room about this, and I would say arguably it's one that I couldn't breathe. I think Antonia's actually got the video of you roasting me. It's one of the funniest things you've ever done. You rinsed me in front of the whole room.

I couldn't breathe. I was laughing. It was genuinely genius. And I think you've actually been very diplomatic. You've not gone in as hard today as you did then. You've used all your gun fat. But now, because you made it so funny what i it's become my favorite video or anything i've ever put up on any social media i find it

just very it's so shit but anyway you're talking about tiktok for tiktok right so i've become so you you know i've never really used it because if i'm going to like i think i talked about it i found it a lot of that you know that family who dance that really annoying family yes you always go in on this family yeah yeah but i find them really like i know i hate doing this but i find them really over because i'm a bit like it's just a constant straight and like i'm like yeah i'm like what even is this and i guess there's a little bit of talent i don't know anyhow i digress um but i've always been just sort of like thought tick to that's what tick tock is then recently on on you know going to tour shows i'm in the car quite a lot uh instagram's

instagram i think it's you know i enjoy instagram but then i just like to go through tick tock and you know like when you've turned around me and you'll be like, oh, what's really interesting TikTok about this? So I've become obsessed, like, to a really worrying level. I'm watching a lot of spot being, or ingrained hair videos. Oh, God. And blackheads. Oh, God. Like, genuinely, right?

I'm sitting there, like, Gratz had to go to me, I can't, you can't be watching that. Because he can see the phone. Yeah. Like, he's see he's like they're just like and like they'll put like yeah you sent me have you watched many of these no because they're just they're absolutely fucking disgusting but they'll put on like adele like hello it's me and grats will go oh what's that is that down you look down and it's a fucking massive great fucking cyst

being burst but I like the other day we were coming home I think it was from Ipswich it was like a three hour drive I must have spent at least an hour and a half

just watching spots and ingrained why I don't know I find it really therapeutic I find it like when they get like an ingrained

really long ingrained hair and it's got I don't know it's got fucking like Ed Sheeran in the background fucking getting pulled out. I'm like, I don't know what it is. So I've become obsessed with them and also I've become really obsessed with Marty Pello from Wet Wet Wet. Have you watched his TikToks?

No. What does he do? He is. So he sings, he does his songs, and he does covers, right? I find it really... I don't know, I find it quite uplifting watching him, right? Oh, my God.

Because he's so... Like, what's great, right, is he's, like, one of the best singers in the 80s and 90s. We're a great pop band, right? And now he's trying to sort of bring that to TikTok, He's one of the best singers in the 80s and 90s. Wet, wet, wet, wet. Great pop band, right? And now he's trying to sort of bring that to TikTok. But he's still got that sort of old showmanship of the 80s. So he does this sort of thing where he does... He'll start the track.

I'd say just if there's one thing... He won't listen to this. I did Sunday Brunch with him once. Lovely guy. And if I could say to him any one thing, probably he's up on the blusher because he looks a bit like sort of my nan

at her fucking birthday right but he does the thing where he'll just sort of go the tune starts and he'll just look at he'll look at sort of down the camera lens

and then he'll just look off a bit and go well look off a bit and go well look at it as if he's talking as if he's at a gig yeah like he's looking at someone he's clearly on his own but he's sort of that i'm so much championship and it's just be like sort of like looking around and then he'll just go my love has taken a tumble but i'm still standing and then yeah uh and then he does a thing where he just goes, standing, and he'll just look off camera. And I just find it really, it's genuine.

I find it really uplifting. Your algorithm must be absolutely disgusting. Marty Pello insists. You know what, if they could get Marty Pello singing over spots getting picked, that would just literally be my whole, that and I get a lot of the maths stuff. I watch quite a lot of the maths. There's a lot of beef in maths.

Maths. Not maths. I'm not a fucking geek. No, no, go on. You're really cool. You're going to get married at first sight. You're such a little girl. You're so happy with that.

You literally... Sometimes I just open myself up. Sometimes I'm like a centre-back slipping and you're on the centre-forward going, he's not got the fucking footwork here. There's a lot of beef on maths this year. On the UK one, you're talking about? Yeah, it's spilled over into social media.

Is the UK one worth watching? Because I just... Yeah, I just yeah I mean I love the show I'd say my only criticism now is it's just everyone just wants to be

there's no it doesn't feel anyone's there for a marriage now at all like everyone's just now just you know what as well it's

there's like people from last year's show what I find really I always find the harshest thing is people like it's really difficult because those shows are big. And then they, all of a sudden you've got a load of people that start following you on social

media, but they're following you because of that show. And then you try to find your place a little bit within the world. And I get that's really difficult, but there's, there's people from last year that there's one guy from last year. I find really hard to watch because he's clearly just halt right like so he'll do adverts but adverts he's not he'll advertise stuff that he's not

been paid to advertise for but he shoots it quite well but it'll be like um uh hey guys um how are you you're right uh so today's a big day it's the launch of the pret christmas menu and i'm gonna go along and i'm gonna have some of the treats so he's clearly going to buy himself and he's also hired a like cameraman and they look like actual adverts and it's like he has to put not an ad um but yeah he's done a few of those actually you you have just mentioned something i do enjoy on tiktok which is watching people try stuff from local food places oh mate

yeah yeah I'm all for that but I'm you know what and it's the more gritty of that the better I like it

you know when they go to like somebody's recommended to them like Charlie's Van or whatever and they rock up there and then they they get the the grease fucker

or whatever do you know what I mean eating with Todd I love he's, I love. He's amazing. I love all of that stuff, man. And even though I can't eat most of it, but I do just love watching.

I like the more rubbish they're shot. If they're shot as a selfie, then it's someone eating. I enjoy that more than someone's paid a whole camera team to go out. And also, it's like, I like when it's somewhere like, you say, like Charlie's Van or it's somewhere like like you say like charlie's

van or it's a fucking book like when you're doing it for prep yes yeah there's a slightly different world what's this place hello like you know they've completely hijacked every fucking ice tree with six fucking pretz on like any good fucking ice tree um so i don't want to go in on prep but and i and i i sort of if you do mate i'm here for it because i think prep's a dickhead well i um i can't figure out and this happens to a few places i can't figure out if it's because i've got used to it or because it's genuinely dropped in quality but i couldn't tell you now the last time i've had a decent thing from prep do you mean and like like it used to be i used to look forward to like going

and picking up one of those like falafel salads or whatever or like the falafel wrap there used to be incredible

or their sandwiches or whatever I've got to say over the last I don't know how long it's always been it's dropped now in a tier to me

it's now like something you go if there's absolutely nothing else about and you're just desperate for something whereas it used to be something I'd actually kind of i wouldn't look not look forward to that's a bit of an exaggeration i used to get nervous going in there i used to get nervous going in there because it was quite high end and i used to think like it felt like you were going into a

place that sort of like you had to sort of order something it was a little bit edgy when you ordered your coffee that you know what i felt with it that i felt like the baristas there had been actually trained like because let me do i said this to kathleen over there we had a bit not a squabble about it but you had a squabble about prep no not about prep we had a squabble about baristas right right we were uh we were driving somewhere together as a family right as we always do we quite stopping off, grabbing a little coffee for the car and, you know, having a coffee together in the car. We stop at Costa.

Uh, we get a couple of, uh, coffees from Costa. I'd say it was probably at least half an hour, 35, 40 minutes before we could drink the coffees. They were so hot.

Now you're a coffee head, as you call yourself, you've got a fucking tattoo on the t-shirt, right? Right? It's, it's a slam based on no evidence i'm i don't even think it requires a response but i don't go yeah but i've heard you say i'm a coffee head

i've never said the words i'm a coffee head no but you have to have said i love my coffee i'm a bit of a coffee nut i'm a coffee head i've never said i'm a coffee head well i do like i do like coffee yeah yeah we both like coffee. But I swear, like, you're a... So you know the temperature that coffee should be served at, right? Yeah. So it shouldn't be burnt. It shouldn't be too hot, right?

Because it kills the flavour. So I think the least you can expect when you spend, like, four or five pounds now on a fucking coffee is it to come out... And, like, so I said to Catherine, this really annoys me because I can't drink... We're going to be at the destination we're going to and I'll just about be able to drink my coffee

and then we'll probably go in there and have another coffee. Yeah. Right. This is almost just a way, this is just now just a hot cup of waste just sitting next to me because it's like,

it's undrinkable. Yeah. Right. I was like, these people, if they're trained to be baristas and Catherine, they're not trained to be baristas.

They just, there's a barista there who just sort of shows them roughly what they've got to do. You can't expect them trained to be baristas and Catherine they're not trained to be baristas there's a barista there who just sort of shows them roughly what they've got to do you can't expect them to be proper baristas but if they're working in a coffee place

making coffees so people in Costa Coffee are not baristas apparently not no I mean what's the difference between a barista and someone who's been

shown by a barista what to do well this is the thing Catherine's a lot more learned in this situation there is a difference they're called something else right

like barista team or something like that I don't know they're not trained baristas so this is what I meant about PrEP there was a time

where PrEP prided itself on the fact that the people serving coffee were baristas that's gone now they're not they're the same

like you know it's you get in the I put up a post the other day I got a lot of heat for it about

I brought a coffee and sat and I was chilling waiting for it I was actually I think I was meeting you I can't remember what it was and I sat

I was early for once and I couldn't drink this fucking coffee for about an hour because it was so hot an hour? well I might be

exaggerating slightly but for about 40 minutes. Nonetheless, my point being, right, the joy of coffee is being able to go in somewhere. That's why, like, mum and pop stores and fucking cell phone places, they pride themselves on it.

They know they're in a fucking big... They're in a dogfight up against these big places. How often are you in a mum and pop store, just out of interest, would you say? Sort of on a week-to-week basis? Well, mum and pop... and pop I'm using some of my American slang even though I've

never really been to America I would go as far as to say you've never been in a mum and pop store what I mean by that is a self-owned

place right okay little individual you prefer to get coffee from what a corner shop no no like a small

individual sort of rather than a big chain because I think they pride themselves on it I think they pride themselves on it I think they pride themselves on giving away coffee if you decided now

you're going to start choosing individual independent coffee places I think this is a healthy thing to decide yeah no but this is what I think if I could

and this is what we're talking about with Pratt and Costa because sometimes it's the easiest option right it's a drive through it's quick

they've invaded and taken over our high streets but I will say if there's a place i'm going to that isn't one of those i'll try and go there but then sometimes they don't really you know sometimes they don't sort of meet the standards that you require i mean what you've really got to find is somewhere where there's a barista who's incredible and if you do that just hang on to them like it's good uh you can sort of say that you want the coffee not as hot can't you

yeah but then yeah I mean you can but then I think I always worry will they spit in it or will they sort of do something to your coffee why would they do I mean they're making it

right in front of you it's not like they go to a back chamber it'd be pretty ballsy move to fucking hot one in there you could dribble in it without someone seeing

it still feels like quite a high risk strategy to me the only reason I know this is because your mate Big DB I watched something with him in it

and he used to ask for his coffee super hot because he would put it in the car and not drink it until he got to training which is like

half an hour's drive away that's fine if you don't want to drink it at a time what I'm saying to you is he asked for the temperatures to be a different temperature

so I'm saying I think it's easier to do it super hot because you're just doing it as you do it because it's always fucking super hot in those places. Whereas I think if you go into a place and go, hey, can I have it sort of like mildly hot? They go, oh, for fuck's sake, that means we've got to let it cool down. Like we've got to use a different milk system or something. It's why literally now I'm pretty much just drinking espressos. I think that's a good move a good move I love an espresso

yeah double espresso I know they can't really fuck it up Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze and it felt a little like life's a trip make the most of it at best western today something is coming kong godzilla they can feel it fight together it's human or face extinction godzilla kong the new empire now playing only in theaters oh french lavender soy blend candle i I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Well, I don't know. Mom's gonna love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to Saint-Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only $14. $14? Now that's a vacation

I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. I always say this, and I don't want to go fucking all in on all the coffee places, because we've had a past history with coffee on this before. With an espresso gate. I always say this starbucks can fuck itself okay uh you want to qualify that i really hate stuff i i think starbucks is actually i whenever i have their coffee i'm done for for about two or three days of heartburn their coffee's just like just not

the same quality as other ones um i'd say that I've heard some pretty shocking... You know the story about, as you talk about mom and pop stores, you know about the Cronuts story? No. So there's this old couple in New York in the 80s and 90s who basically invented Cronuts, right?

You know what a Cronut is? Yes, I do, yeah. Cool, cool, okay. Cross-up slash donut. Yeah, beautiful. If you've never tried one i say now don't do it starbucks because you'll hear this story just do it find a sort of local fucking retailer that might do them um anyhow basically before you carry on with this because i just want to in the interest

of protecting you you're about to go in two-footed on a company who I'm just at a guess has more of a pool of money for legal resources than you do. Okay, right. Can I say this? Allegedly, this is true. I've been told this allegedly from someone I know from the coffee business. So someone you know from the coffee business has told you this story. Yeah. And now you're paying them for it.

I know very well, right? It's quite a big in a coffee UK business, right? I'm not going to give his surname just because I don't want him found. Is that his first name? Yeah. Okay, well, that is a fucking insane thing to do. Yeah, no, but I want to give you context so you know that it's someone I know, okay?

Yeah, fine, but I didn't need to know his first name. And, in fact, I'd go so far as to say that for the benefit of your friendship, I think we should beep it out but anyway go on ok we'll beep JT beep out his name

ok but if he listens to this podcast he'll know that it's him and he'll be quite proud that he's got my ok well I imagine

he just shat himself a minute ago and he thought he was about to give his fucking name but anyway go on allegedly yeah

allegedly so this mom and pop store in the 80s and 90s are making cronuts they're the people who invented Cronuts. One afternoon, each evening as dusk falls in New York City, somebody who works for Starbucks goes in, has a coffee,

and also tries one of these Cronuts because he's heard of their legend. He finds them so delicious. He chats to this old couple. They don't know he works for Starbucks. Finds out how they make them and, you know, how proud they are and goes back to Starbucks and says, look, I've got a big idea for us now, right? They then basically start selling cronuts, right?

And they buy the patent for cronuts. So then they basically go to the mom and pop store and say, you can't sell this anymore because we've got to pay. Is that true? This is what they told me. So is Starbucks now the only place you can get Cronuts? I think, yeah. Because I think that's bollocks.

Hold on, let me just look this up. You're telling me that I cannot get a Cronut anywhere apart from a Starbucks now? Well, apparently now they call them Duffins. Why would they call them Duffins? I don't know either. I'm seeing a lot of Duffin chat, not a lot of Cronut chat, mate, to be honest, online here.

Yeah, there's not a lot of Cronut chat here. No. Cronut Mania spreads to London. Dominique Ancel is exposed to the story behind the Cronut. Okay, go on. Dominique Ancel has made a name for himself as one of the greatest creative food

craziers ever to hit the country so this doesn't feel like it's his mum and pop star in New York does it well yeah now we chat about him being involved in

alright okay oh this is one of those annoying things I've got to listen to it I haven't got that fucking time so Dominic Ancel made croissants

cronuts in 2013 right you can get cronuts all over london i've just looked up here um in fact there's loads of places you can get cronuts i mean listen it doesn't feel like there's a lot of supporting evidence for your story does it well no but this is something i was told in the pub and I'll say his name and we can beep it out again. He told me that. He said,

not in confidence, he said, look, this is what I've been told. I mean, that sounds like a sort of thing that, I mean,

now, look, I'm going to say now. it sounds like the sort of thing that if you wanted to go in on Starbucks you'd find that story

quite satisfying. But the fact of the matter is you can get cronuts everywhere. Yeah, no, but also, it does feel a bit like

he may be... The first question I'd have asked, had **** please bleep it out, told me that story, would be, does that mean, you mean to tell me that you can't get cronuts anywhere apart from Starbucks? Because that's what that means. Yeah, but this is the difference between me and you.

Because he told me that. We were like three pints deep. He's told me that. I've gone, fucking hell, man, arseholes, bruv. And he's just like, I mean, I might not have been that sort of vocal but um

and he was like so yeah he was like oh yeah so yeah basically you're in a situation now where Starbucks have completely

that mum and pop store just closed down in like 1993 because they couldn't compete with Starbucks and the Cronut was their biggest seller so I mean

to be fair to right that is a very imaginative story that he's come up with it's almost like Cronart was the biggest seller. So, I mean, to be fair, to ****, right, that is a very imaginative story that he's come up with. It's almost like, it actually reminds me a lot of,

I say imaginative, essentially he's just taking the plot from the Father Christmas movie with Dudley Moore. Hmm. Isn't he? It also sounds a lot like the story of the origins

of McDonald's as well. Yeah. Maybe he's sort well yeah maybe he's sort of what he was sort of slowly doing was just pitching

sort of because he's in the coffee what I think might have happened is somebody said to the

**** are you meeting Tom today yeah do you know you can get him worked

up about **** anything honestly yeah just have a go alright

I'm going to try and get him worked up over pastries and he's managed to get you for the whole

afternoon after that just walking out and going I'm trying to have a fucking good time but I just can't fucking relax knowing that's

happened to that man what's happened to them sort of sending them a go fund me account it wouldn't surprise me if you hadn't

looked for them well that's a that's a great story Tom yeah but what I would say is I'm not a fan

of Starbucks I mean I couldn't tell you the last time I went into a Starbucks I'm out of the Starbucks game but when you go to

America have you been to America yeah not for a long long time not for a long time Starbucks is the

thing I mean like I know Starbucks are everywhere here, but Costa's bigger here, isn't it? I think. I like Costa. I like Costa. Yeah, but Starbucks,

I couldn't tell you the last time I went into a Starbucks. There's nothing about Starbucks that appeals to me, really. I don't like the vibe. Café Nero, I don't mind. I think Café Nero's got a nice vibe. Yeah, the Starbucks vibe is shit, man. It's a shit vibe. Café Nero's a good vibe. Costa coffee, all right vibe. I prefer the Café Nero vibe to't mind I think Cafe Nero's got a nice vibe yeah Starbucks vibe is shit man it's a shit vibe Cafe Nero's good vibe

Costa Coffee alright vibe I prefer the Cafe Nero vibe to the Costa Coffee you know what I'm really like you know what I'm going to say it

you know let me just stop you there let me just stop you there okay lean forward like you're about

to fucking unmask the president or whatever you you couldn't have been more fucking edgelord as you leant forward there.

That was horrible to watch. I'm just going to fucking say it. I don't give a shit. Let me tell you this. No fucks given us, I'll tell you this. Come on then, what's this tell you this what's this big reveal it won't sound as big

now but I'll tell you yeah I like a Greg's or Wenzel's I'm having a Greg's or

Wenzel's for coffee yeah for coffee and I just chill like a donut and I find that the banter actually I will say Greg's what? Greg's or a Wenzel's. For coffee? Yeah, for coffee and I just chilled like a donut and I find that the banter actually,

I would say actually, yeah, I like the staff in Greg's and Wenzel's. I find them really endearing. I do like Greg's. This is mental, this podcast.

This podcast has fucking gone so out of control but anyway, I do like Greg's but they do slightly worry me. I know it's a good thing but you know the calories being everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And have you noticed that at Greggs, because their stuff is so high calorie,

they've constantly got adults should have 2,000 calories, like all over the place. They've not even just got the calories. Well, how many calories do you think a sausage rolls? I'm going to guess 400. But let me have a look. And how much in a normal one? I wonder.

Why don't you look that up? Why don't you look up your crew and I'll look up mine. 302 calories in a vegan sausage roll. 319 in a normal Greek sausage roll. It's actually less than I thought. I mean, obviously it's less than I thought. I said 400.

Yeah, but you know, this is the, this is the worst thing. Yeah. Yeah. yeah we talk about you know we've lost weight there was a time in my life when i used to work on building sites and stuff um i'd finish uh for the day around three four o'clock and before going to the pub i'd usually walk past greg's and i'd probably do this at least three maybe four times a week and i'd have two sausage rolls and like a steak bake it's just a snack not

for my tea that was just like a snack between work and the pub that's probably nearly 1500 calories isn't it i'm still doing that when i was doing stand-up that's why i think like now i look at it i had no idea about how calories worked at that point in my life no i didn't either and like i i when i was was in America and I was at my very biggest, I would drink caramel lattes quite a lot. Yeah. And then I reckon I was having two or three of those a day. And then I looked it up.

Yeah. But I would say two. Like one in the morning. So somebody on the show would go to a coffee run. I'd go, can you get me a caramel latte? Same in the afternoon. I don't know why I'm explaining that. But anyway, that is about 800 calories.

Yeah, that's a lot. And I didn't even notice that. So I wasn't even like mentally including that in my calorie intake. That was just like a beverage I had while I was doing other shit. And I wasn't even engaging in it. That's 400 calories that I wasn't even savoring. I was sort of like taking sips of in between doing stuff. I mean, I know that's 400 calories that i wasn't even savoring i was sort of like taking sips of in between doing stuff dude i mean i know that's how you drink a drink but you know what i

mean like if you if you're getting a high calorie item yeah you've got to really enjoy it yeah you should you've got to cherish it yes correct you've got to make those calories worth it right yeah do you know what i mean yeah i mean if you're indulging i don't want to get those calories worth it right yeah do you know what I mean yeah really if you're indulging you've got to do that I don't want to get obsessive about it because the truth is I don't believe in cutting anything out I think you have what you want

I think she's living a healthy lifestyle having what you want is fine but if you are going to have something like that if you're going to

have a cake fucking enjoy it yeah yeah save for a free bite with um the first year I did the Liga on Road Trip

we went to Holland and uh Reddits was obsessed with um these like a coffee and it had what was like

whipped cream in it was like but it was called Slagram over there Slagram yeah that was the name for it

and it was like like Jamie would like literally Jamie, Fred you know the other people on the show would have like two of these I enjoyed them so much

I was having them like I was drinking like now me and you were drinking espresso I was almost drinking like it was water like that was like you know

and they'd sort of be like are you having another one of those and I'd say oh they're so delicious and then eating all the cream out the bottom yeah sounds delightful yeah

and then like but also you've got to remember at this point in my life I was doing no training or working out we were talking about doing a road trip with a load of athletes

every morning burning like a thousand calories and then I was just sort of sitting there going oh no one else was at breakfast and they were like no no we were all in the gym

and I'd sort of eaten a full fry up with like four danishes I can relate to this so hard uh and then yeah it was like jamie pulled me aside and was quite worried and he was like you know how many calories in those drinks that were like they're a treat for like the end of the day and you're you started to have one before work before lunch after lunch and then when we finish and then like usually after we finish filming,

you're going to have about six or seven pints. And I was like, yeah, but, you know, it's just coffee. And he went, but it's not. It's like a shot or maybe two of coffee. And then it's like this, like, literally a pint of fucking thick cream and caramel or fucking toffee sauce. You have four of those a day. He said, like, Jamie was, and I love Jamie who's like this.

I adore him. He was like, that's like, would you have four ice those a day Jamie was, and I love Jamie he was like would you have four ice creams in a day and I was like no, of course I wouldn't that would be insane that's the first surprise in this conversation I mean actually to be fair I'm lying there would you have four ice creams in a day

yeah I would, what's your there would you have four ice creams in a day yeah I would what's your point yeah I've had four ice creams today and the four fucking slag room drinks

yeah but I mean but I get nervous about talking like that because I don't want you know I don't I feel like

calorie counting is dangerous it's not dangerous but I mean it can be if it becomes obsessive it's dangerous

do you know I mean this whole thing of life my thing is the difference from my head now is if I walk past a Greg's

and I fancy a sausage roll I'll go and get a sausage roll if I fancy it I don't now rule it I try to be healthier and exercise more but I've never I've never

I'll never be able to not eat food that I enjoy I think food's one of the biggest joys that I have in my life. Delightful. Delightful. I'm saying it now, right?

I'll guarantee today I'll have a sausage roll of yum yum at some point from Greg's. Because this conversation or that was in your plan? Yeah, because this conversation, that's all I'm thinking. Look, usually at this point of this fucking show, I'm sitting thinking, oh shit, I'm going to fucking sum it up. At the moment, all my up at the moment all my thoughts

process is where will I get a yolk because what annoys me is if I buy four

yum yums right I'll have two and I'll save one for Catherine and then

one for me the next day well done for throwing that in at the end there

to hide the fact that you'd have three yum yums yeah I mean you struggle to do the maths on where the

four yum yums are going there I'll probably just give one to some birds and stuff yeah but I know you hate maths you're not a

fucking geek Tom we've come to that time please could you do us the honour of taking us out Tom, we've come to that time. Please, could you do us the honour of taking us out? Sometimes it's hard to sum up a conversation. Sometimes it's hard to sum up life when your mind's distracted thinking about something flavoursome and delicious,

something that's just almost knocking on your brain saying, hey, you're going to enjoy me later. But maybe that is a lesson in itself sometimes it's really really difficult to just focus on the here and now to focus on the moments that actually matter you know maybe when it's raining instead of complaining about the rain maybe just let a few drops just hit you on the face and give a sort of small silent smile and just think that was refreshing maybe when the sun beats its beautiful gaze upon the world you can just skip for a while and just think hey you know what

they're doing a great job up there the truth of the matter is the truth of the matter is easy to long for things that aren't quite within your grasp always always thinking about this could be the thing that will make me or this will be the thing that will make me or this will be the thing that will truly make me happy but never actually just thinking in the moment you know what life's pretty sweet life's pretty good and of course it'll be sweet ever still with the glorious taste of a greg's yum yum but with keeping the mind on dreaming and always being aspirational, never ever lose fact of that you're lucky right in this moment, standing where you are, being who you are.

Just treasure that just for a second. Thanks, friends. I'll see you next time. That is beautiful. Never lose fact. That is advice for all of us yeah but what we've learned really from here is that um yeah uh probably to sort of leave food trapped at the beginning of the show because actually if we sort of like we're dabbling around it too much uh it's um yeah uh well look um i sent a song as you know it's my i often send songs to lisa that i've fallen

in love with this is one of them it's by, I often send songs to Lisa that I've fallen in love with. This is one of them. I'm hoping I've got the pronunciation of this right. It's by Ruga and it's called Asiwaju. It's beautiful and I loved it. I sent it to Lisa and she said, well, I don't think she's replied yet anyway, but it doesn't matter.

JT, could you play us out with that? I have got, I would say rough estimate two hours of t-shirt ironing ahead of me I'll keep you updated on my ongoing journey versus the wardrobe take care of yourselves peace guys

Tom's done a weird he's done a weird peace sign yet again ignoring the fact this is an audio format take care of yourselves guys see you soon peace out

big laugh bye bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.