Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 79: Friday Bonus with a Laughing Emoji

Episode Date: November 10, 2023

It’s bonus time! And we’re talking… love for the North, hotel upgrades, supporting actors, losing your temper, Ross Kemp rabbit holes and an Emoji Movie remake. Then it’s onto some email questions about putting your foot in it at a wedding and a best mate’s annoying habits (read at Rom’s x2 speed). Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Drug Mart today. What you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing.

Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings. Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding.

Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. And... Oh, no. Fuck, I know. Fuck. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

You're my internet. Is it my internet? It would be awful that we've just been chatting for like 40 minutes. I know. And that's mine. It's mine. I've let you do. This is insane.

Oh, he's gone all junky. Hold on. Let me just check if it's me. It's me. Yeah. Is it? It should be all right now.

Hopefully. Literally, we've just been talking for half an hour which is the length of this podcast I know it's no glitch as soon as you start recording this dickhead just

won't work hotel wifi man I think hotel wifi is one of the biggest pricks in the world yeah anyway are we doing the podcast

this is the podcast yeah we've started it's like a pre-roll welcome welcome to the welcome to the Wolf and our bonus episode episode that we haven't checked we haven't checked with jt if he's able to edit this so it might not ever come out or it might come out after the next one who knows uh tom why in a hotel i'm in a hotel because last night we i played i said we i said that's a bell ending uh i did Sheffield tonight is York. And Friday night,

when this podcast comes out, there are still tickets for Salford. That is Salford still tickets for self. You said you said, yeah, I really got quite a lot of a lot of nice messages about the fact I pronounced it wrong, which feels strange on the basis that a lot of people also have fans of the podcast would know that sometimes i struggle with things like the word get but um it was yeah i got a lot of i also got some quite aggressive ones about it as well so i did feel bad it's a mispronunciation of a place well you're falling victim of to the uh to the perception that people from the south don't give a shit about yeah but i do i adore the north as you all know um yeah yeah yes i do uh we've no we've me and you have had long beautiful

conversations about the north yeah and uh yeah mutual love of it yeah i mean you sort of talk to me a lot after you've done them on tour you sort of talk to me like i never might have ventured into those venues where's your favorite northern city to to gig in I think Newcastle's probably up there I think Liverpool's probably up there yeah I think like a lot

of those places like if you know I think southern comedians get nervous about playing up north sometimes because you sort of think

that you're not one of theirs so it might be it might be tricky but I feel like if they take to you you really have a great gig do you mean like it's sort of i've i've i've really enjoyed them i think they're amazing yeah sheffield last night was on a wednesday night as well you think uh

is this gonna is this gonna be like midweek is it gonna it was amazing yeah i love the north man and this you know what? This is a little one that's not happened to Big TD. Almost ever. Got a fucking amazing upgrade last night. How come? Rocked up with Gratz. I don't know.

We got here nearly midnight. Walked in with Gratz. And everyone was like, oh, we're going to upgrade you. So they've given me this nice suite, which is really nice. Yeah. It's not the most humble thing i've heard you say but congratulations no i mean that makes it even worse i've got like but also what this is a weird thing they've put a little romantic plate out for me like chocolate strawberries and sort of rose

petals and stuff i had that i had that the the hotel that i stayed at for avoidance are you still in there or is that you done? No, I'm in there but I'm not in any of the scenes today and tomorrow. What? That's mad.

You're having two days off for filming. Yeah, I know. It's incredible, isn't it? Fuck me, wow. Yeah. How have you managed that? I suppose you wrote it

and then just wrote yourself out. Well, I suppose if you underperform as a character. You're still the lead in avoidance, right? Well, I'll be honest with you. Based on how little I'm actually going in, I think well I'll be honest with you based on how little

I'm actually going in I think it might now be an ensemble piece I think without me realising it's become cheers you've basically become an essay

in your own sitcom yeah I do think I'm doing some background stuff next week but I've got a couple of lines a week after

but um I hate background stuff by the way I hate background stuff it the way I hate background stuff it's a real talent I had to basically stand in the background and talk to two guys

for your entire stag do on King Garo you actually made friends with them I wouldn't be surprised if you actually went on a real stag do with them

I've never seen you like that before you were all over them like a rat it's mainly the hotel to be honest with you yeah it was a dump yeah um it was mainly the hotel to be honest with you yeah it was a dump

yeah it was like quite cute to see because they were sort of you know they were quite sort of masculine sort of

chaps oh they were very they were a couple of alpha boys you put me with yeah a couple of geezers but you sort of sprinting over to them

all the time and sort of really laughing and sort of like you know like I remember when you got a bit tired at one point and you had your head on one of their shoulders it was really funny i think i've got a picture of it somewhere yeah okay just so you know guys all of that is a complete fabrication what i didn't realize is how much of a skill it is to be in a silent

conversation in the background or something it's incredibly yeah yeah that is yeah yeah yeah i i still struggle with that like there this on the thing. I'm shooting the thing. At the moment. I've got a very small but I'm essentially an essay in this thing. But um, whenever I'm in the background, and they like, I'll just be silent. But I really shot and then I sort of start going into sort of almost improv chat that has no real place in sort of the show itself. Yeah. Do you think of a backstory for yourself and stuff like that yeah i mean i always have a little backstory yeah it's weird that because you get so angry when essays actually did that in one of your shows yeah don't get you i'm not

i've seen you screaming at on king gary right there was one essay that was an absolute helmet on King Garo. Mate, there was one essay that was an absolute helmet. He had no, I'd arguably say that he had no part in his place on the set.

I really think you'll struggle to find a place where he can go anywhere in life. I know who you're talking about and I know what aggrieved you and that is that

for some reason out of nowhere he delivered a line. It was an incredible decision yeah but look do you know what i didn't even mind the fact he threw in a line it was the fact it was in this really tense moment yeah it was like a really big moment that james and the director and the fdop and everyone the sound it was a nightmare for sound because i was jumping fully clothed into a pool it was an insane set we've got very specific on the detail here. So if he,

if he listens to this, he'll definitely notice him, but go on. But the whole, like there's so much riding on that. And it was almost like you had to do it in one take. Cause otherwise I'd have had to go and get changed and into it. Yeah.

So it was quite nuts. And, uh, everything actually was going really, really well. We shot this amazing bit, like in a one shot of me coming out of the pool. And then as I got out of the pool,

uh, he just started to fucking throw in a line yeah that just threw me off because me and you were having it was me and you having a big face off on it it was it was three of us like because we were having a good time when you're stuck doing you again um but for you to sort of ball at him like tom cruise do you mean know what I mean? It was fucking... I didn't ball at him. I wonder if they ever released the audio footage. Like, you know, they did with... What's his name? David Williams.

No, no. Oh, Christian Bale. Yeah, Christian Bale. Yeah, I wonder if they'll ever do that to you. I think actually, I would say, arguably,

that Christian Bale was quite an intense sort of like toxic, aggressive... Mine was more like a spoiled kid who'd lost his football well I think it was weird

it was weird because it was a combination of anger but also crying it was no but I wasn't far away I was so tired and I was so

so upset that that shot had been fucked yeah but I sort of went oh nice one mate nice for saying that well done for messing

with the shot and then I jumped back in the pool I didn't then I jumped back in the pool. I didn't have to jump back in the pool. No, you didn't. If anything, it made things more difficult. No, then it made things really awkward because I was in the pool. I was soaking wet.

Yeah, it was weird. I felt, you know, like that thing where you think, like, in a way, if I'd been like Christian Bale, it would have been quite sort of like, at least it would have had a bit of an edge to it. Instead, like I say, I was, yeah, like someone at a dinner party goes, oh, no one likes this casserole then,

and then just walks out and stands in the kitchen. Yeah, I had that. I was talking to Jess Knappert about things where you sort of, your head goes and then you have to come back into the situation. I remember when I was at uni, like it had been snowing and I was staying in a house with like a load of lads

and one of them came in with a snowball and threw it at me on the sofa. I was just sat on the sofa watching TV. It was just sort of trying to be funny and I lost my temper and I just went,

for fuck's sake, I don't mind messing around but this is, it's not fucking funny and then I sort of stormed into the bathroom and they were all sort of in shock that I'd lost my temper and then I had to stormed into the bathroom and they were all sort of in shock that I'd lost my temper.

And then I had to walk back into the full living room having done that. It's so disgusting. It's horrible. It's the worst feeling, isn't it? And also, you know that's going to be a story then. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but you also know that everyone's like,

you've got to tell me, I'm sorry for losing my temper. I just fucking don't find snowballs funny. And everyone like cool man it's fine it's all right it's cool it's okay and then like probably by the at that evening they're all uh going uh like doing an impression of you and taking a week out of here yeah and then behind your back going oh my god when he just ran out and and also never i always know myself and that's happened to me never ever like forget that as you go in the bathroom for you you think it's going to be like neighbors or he stands there everyone's going oh my god what have we done

everyone's just going i know i know you think you've had a moment where everyone's going to reflect on their actions and sort of do you know what actually maybe we should take a look at ourselves and think about what we think is like banter actually might be quite upsetting for the other person and actually i think we should go and knock on that bathroom door and see if romesh is okay well mate you're okay in there bro you're okay mate now come out mate stop crying actually i don't know why this just popped into my head. Because I think I've mentioned neighbors and then I started thinking about EastEnders.

Have you seen the Ross Kemp interview on The One Show? No. It's insane. Why? Genuinely, it's one of the weirdest things I've ever seen talked about. What do you mean? He does this whole bit about when he was an actor, he used to live in a bedsit that was quite dirty.

He basically heard, he smelled of piss, so his mate opened this little hatch and there was a woman just urinating. But he does this whole bit about pink knickers, right? What? Seriously. He does this whole bit about pink knickers and then he starts telling literally goes on to

another story like he's segwaying in yeah there's no real link between that and he's going into sort of talking about this other sort of play this war tour and i can't remember exactly where it was that he's gone to for one of his sort of action shows yeah and then he's basically like um yeah and then um basically someone uh opens this drawer and they say, Ross, come here. You've got to come here. So I go walking over and I look in this drawer and, you know, there was a pair of pink knickers. And underneath the pink knickers, I was like, what is this obsession with pink knickers? It's like the segue between the two stories was pink knickers. But it's honestly one of the most insane things I've ever seen.

When was this? Ooh, French lavender soy blend candle. I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know. Mom's going to love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to Saint-Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip.

It's only $14. $14? Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deals so good, everyone approves. Only at HomeSense. Today. Something is coming. Kong.

Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. Or face extinction. Godzilla Kong. The new new empire now playing only in theaters it popped up on my uh instagram yesterday and then i went down have you ever been down a ross kemp rabbit hole no i haven't sounds disgusting though what happened well he's it's just insane when you go into look i've met him once at a thing and um he had no he like we were

at some weird fucking itv gala and someone introduced us and uh he sort of we stood there for about 20 minutes and then arj from taoi sort of came walking over and sort of was chatting a bit it's the itv gala written all over it yes and then um he finished the we barely said anything to each other arj to be fair did a lot of heavy lifting in the conversation it's a good show and then he finished he barely said anything to it Arj to be fair did a lot of heavy lifting in the conversation

it's a good I'm not sure if I agree enough with Arj going out with a 19 year old girl I've got my

I didn't know about that I don't keep up with the ins and outs of that sort of world no I'm very

very much across it but Ross Kemp hadn't really given anything much to do and then he turned around and said That's a world. No, I'm very, very much across it. But Ross Kemper didn't really give anything much. And then he turned around and said, so you're a comedy writer? And I went, yeah, yeah, mate, yeah, yeah. He went, I might just let you write me something. And then he rubbed my shoulder and just walked off.

Oh, my God. That was insane. Anyhow, yeah, he's just got quite a sort of like, yeah, I find him very compelling. And I'd say for everyone just to try and find this video, the Pink Knickers video. I'll repost it on Friday if I can find it. I'm getting a little bit of blowback from the Apollo roast video that we posted up of me having to get you a TikTok because of my tracksuit. Wow.

Yeah, I did see it. i love that tracksuit by the way somebody said i look like vector out of despicable me yeah somebody else said i look like i was wearing a baby grow so it feels a bit weird that i was i like i like that i like the tracks well you know it's one of these things tom that you and i fall victim to is if you wear anything sort of slightly unusual it happens to be quite a lot actually. I thought you looked banging. Well that's very kind of you to say but I initially was gleeful that we were posting the video and that quickly turned to regret as I saw the comments. Yeah you know what I will say though I will say because we talked about this just the other week. A lot of the comments are

very sweet and very lovely. People are people are nice, aren't they? Yeah. You love laughing. And actually, I do like laughing emojis. No, you do, yeah. I know you do. I think out of all the emojis, if you're going to go out for a laugh,

actually, I'd say that the laughing emoji would get a little bit much after a while, wouldn't it, if you're going out for a drink? Because you'd think, actually, do you find anything that funny? That you've got tears running down your face? Yeah. I don't really want the emoji movie repitched to me.

Thank you. I think it could have been a better movie if you'd sort of placed them in the real world. And they're just like, they're people who go to work, right? And their job is to be emojis. But they've got normal... I mean, that isn't so far the film yet. Go on.

Yeah, no, but they've got normal human bodies, right? Like you would play the sort of like, you know, but they've got normal human bodies, right? Like, you would play, like, the sort of, like, you know, the emoji with the monocle, right? And so you'd do the voice, but it'd have your body. But you'd have a normal life. You'd go about your life normally, right? In a normal world, like, with our bodies, but an emoji face. Do you know what I mean?

So there'd be other, and also other people within the mix are normal. So let me get this straight. What you're pitching for the emoji movie yeah is a film with normal people their faces happen to be weird is that what you're saying no no no no you've got the emoji over your face so we can't see romesh's face right no i understand but then but then you might be in a scene right with penelope cruz and it is penelope cruz's face but your job is that you're an emoji but you weren't you you know if that just so happens that you know that's what I saw like a rabbit yes yeah exactly but also it's like you basically can find another job and the

job was a moji bit the whole thing was basically taking a job as emojis your you had to lose your actual face and my face is removed it's quite brutal this so yeah yeah yeah different vibe and Yeah. It's a different vibe. And then it's a bit like the Lego movie, in a sense. Like you're, you know, and you're basically, I don't know. Except in the Lego movie, the world actually works and sort of has a consistent set of rules, whereas yours seems fucking insane. No, but you're like with Penelope Cruz, and you're like,

I was 18 when I bloody just made a deal with the devil to change my face into what we now know as emoji. What are you doing? You're such a cool guy. But now I look at you and you're just an emoji. I was the same expression. I can't even tell what you're thinking. I'm thinking I need to get my old face back.

Romesh Ranganathan made a deal. And that deal was to give up his face forever. So my character's name in this is Romesh Ranganathan. No, no, no, that's you as the actor. Oh, yeah, okay. Mark Billing gave up his face. Mark Billing. You're the only man I know who can beat the emojis and then you basically tried to take

the emojis down yeah listen i'll be honest with you what i didn't think emojis needed was a dark take which is what you provided there but um one man a thousand faces ramesh rang and ethan is emoji it's quite cool in a way yeah it's quite and jack black is like the professor of what like he's what he's taught you into it because he oh fuck because he secretly loved penelope cruz and he saw it way in like so he thought that me and penelope cruz were gonna so he managed to convince me to emoji my face up to yeah he's like oh you get a lot of money friend and you're like oh really i don't know what happens what what what do i do now that my face is an emoji how does that make me money well yeah because people obviously every time that they use your emoji face what do you

mean use my emoji it's the real world yeah yeah but like emoji text with you yeah i know that but how does that connect to me you earn like 10p all right why because like you're out there and you've got to sort of sell your faces like so you'll be going around going oh god this feels like a monocle moment and then it'll be like this is getting fucking worse and worse the longer you're talking no but then you like it started terribly by the way just that i didn't think a potential in that when you look back it's the the laughing one for example he's earned an absolute

fortune the only thing I like about this so far is the casting I'm in there and I'm like you know the intelligent guy

that's gone now Joaquin Phoenix could be in it maybe I don't know yeah okay you'd get your old mate Ross Kemp in it yeah absolutely well that you know I'd love it if you got in touch with Ross do you remember a few years ago the ITV could be in it. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, okay. You'd get your old mate Ross Kemp in it. Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Well, you know, I'd love it if you got in touch with Ross. Ross, do you remember a few years ago at the ITV Gali, you said maybe you'd let me write

something for you. How do you feel about replacing your face with a dog shit emoji for a project? By the way, you're not the lead. Romesh Raganathan's the lead. Romesh Raghunath is the lead.

But you're doing like a funny cameo. We probably can't see your face, but we'll notice you. Yeah. That'll be quite a funny scene. It's like, we've been fucking held, and we've been thrown away by people as emojis. We've had it worse than anyone. And then Ross Kemp leads in and goes,

how do you think I feel? And then he's got the dog shit emoji. Fucking hell, one itself yeah it's fine it doesn't always mean a sign of quality i just can see the bit of penelope cruz is just holding your hand and we can't see the emotion but we know you can't she's like you've got this even if your face is this emoji for the rest of time i still love you i love you as well penelope cruz yeah that's quite it yeah no i all of that sort of emotional arc is fine but i mean the whole the initial premise doesn't hold up some reason i've had my face surgically replaced with an emoji and that means that every time somebody texts i get 10p what the fuck are you talking about i think it could be because it you know also what it is right what they call it like it's when you hold up a mirror to society yeah but what is okay what's the are you talking about I think it could mate because you know also what it is right what do they call it

like it's when you hold up a mirror to society yeah but what is okay what's the point you're making in that film that we don't even think about emojis when we post them

we're not even thinking about yeah but there's nobody we're not thinking about how we actually feel like you just put in a laugh emoji instead of going that was really funny

actually we enjoyed that joke it's easy just to put like what an emoji actually really enjoyed that joke. It's easy just to put like, what? Listen, we'll cut a great idea. If anyone's got any other casting suggestions, we're very excited about the idea. Listen, we'll be in touch. If anyone wants to write it up maybe as a two-pager. If you've got two days that you fancy putting a bullet in the back of the head of,

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Okay, should we have a look at some emails, Tom? Which is the whole point of this bonus episode. Yes, let's do it. Before we do that, just so you know so you know Tom you're invited I'm throwing a New Year's Eve party oh wow hmm well sweet whereabouts hip-hop saved my New Year's Eve O2 Academy Islington oh nice I'd love you to be there Tom I might try and get I think it's very unlikely because you've got a little one but um yeah it's quite difficult Theo wants to come what do you think wow yeah I think it's very unlikely because you've got a little one. Yeah, it's quite a difficult one. Theo wants to come.

What do you think about that? Yeah, I think you should let him. I'm going to the football. I'm actually really taking my dad to Arsenal Fulham that day because my dad's a big Arsenal fan. I'm going to Arsenal West Ham on the 28th. It's one of the Christmas games, isn't it? Yeah.

Where is it? West Ham or Arsenal? Arsenal. Oh, yeah. Come if you want. Yeah, I can't sit in the arsenal it's not a word okay yeah it just takes one decade yeah sure um i'd love it though if you wanted to come yeah oh this is fun despite the result

that might be the most venomous impression of me you've ever done. There wasn't even any joy in that. It was just fucking horrible. You just licking your lips in glee, sipping back on a massive pint. Okay,

this email comes from the Hammerhead Shark. Wow. It says, named you to my misshapen member, but that's another story okay quite strong isn't it uh okay uh dear wolf al swan and cat i'd like to regale you with a tale of an experience i had several years ago once again thanks to the swan for choosing these i've changed the names

of the parties involved i was attending a works christmas dinner dance of 200 pub managers their partners head office and support staff i arrived late at said function and missed the pre-dinner drinks everyone had already gone through to sit for dinner there was no table plan as a result i was scrambling around looking for people i knew to sit with i found a table some friendly faces with two empty chairs i asked the people sat if they were taken they told me one was free so i joined this table i inquired who was sat in the other empty place to be told it was mr pigeon theigeon, the company's operations director. Now, me and Mr. Pigeon

had some history and not all of it good. I responded... Oh, shit, no, he's changed the name here, isn't he? What? No, genuinely,

I started laughing because I thought this guy was actually called... You're about to go in on a guy called Mr. Pigeon. No, no, I just thought it was quite sweet, quite a sweet name,

but obviously it is. I've never heard anyone with the surname Pigeon. No. That's weird. it's not weird I would say I quite like it it's sort of

I actually as soon as I think of a Mr Pigeon just sort of smile and think of sort of if he was going to be an emoji

movie it would probably be played by a sort of happy sort of girl lucky smiley

character you know yeah I don't think you're being as imaginative as you think you are but anyway now me mr pigeon had some history and not all of it good i responded with i wouldn't

have chosen this table i can't stand the bloke i then went on to explain in colorful language what i thought of him and how he's useless at his job i stopped when i realized that no one else is joining in the mr pigeon bashing and we're exchanging awkward looks then one of the others at the table said i don't believe you've met mrs pigeon yes his wife was opposite me and if looks could kill i would be no more dinner was served and nothing else was said i was definitely keeping a low profile i did notice mr and mrs pigeon chatting to each other and glancing my way after dinner the band started playing and mr pigeon leant over the table and told me i think you should be first on the dance floor knowing my place i downed my glass of wine and got up on the dance from front of 500 people and Well, before we get into this, Tom,

can I get some reflections from you on this whole story before we start talking about that? There's a lot to unpack here isn't there? I've done this sort of thing before. I've been in a situation where I've sort of been, I can think of a wedding that me and the cat went to where it was sort of like, like a friend of hers. It was a wedding. We turned up and it was like, you know, when you're put on a table with a load of people you don't know. I can't say actually wedding-wise, that's I think the worst idea ever.

I think that idea that you put loads of strangers on a table and hope that they're all going to bond is just, I think you put people with families and friends that you know that they know everyone's going to have a far better time. But this situation, we were put on the table with no one that we knew. And then I sort of, as is my way, very much like the hammerhead shark here, decided to sort of like, you know, just have a bit of banter and sort of joke. And I was sort of joking about some of the food coming out and turning around and sort of like, yeah, just being a bit, you know,

being a bit of a piss taker and then uh someone sort of said to me that one of the bride's sisters was on the table with us um and she i remember her thinking i was probably just not her sense of humor but you know when i was on one of my rants um she wasn't she was one of the few people not sort of finding it quite funny everyone else was sort laughing a bit, and then someone told us. And then she went and told the bride that I thought the wedding was shit. And they pulled me up about it. They pulled you up about it? Yeah.

What did they say? It's our big day. You've been laying into it, what's wrong with the food? And I was like, actually, the food was delicious. I was just trying to make people like me. Tom, what actually happened there was something that's happened to me many times is where you take an angle because you're trying to think of something to say yeah and you go in on something and then you realize that nobody else agrees with you and actually what you've done is you've just

made up a false opinion just to sort of get some traction is that what happened yeah yeah it's also that thing that me and you rather than just sitting there quietly and chatting to sort of lisa or the cat you know just to sort of go oh we'll just quietly sit here we think oh maybe we'll put on a bit of a sort of funny performance and this is what i mean like if you're with people you know everyone's kind of awful we all know each other which is with people you don't you i hate you i hate awkwardness and actually while we're talking about that i had to i got the train to sheffield just say for this gig and it took four hours it was all delayed it was all right but i was sitting opposite a guy right who put on almost what i'd say was a one-man show for the whole four hours of like literally everyone talking yourself in the third well this

this is going to be this is the whole thing right so i chatted to him for a bit and then he you know but then i had work to do and i thought did he recognize that no no no okay he was he was in his 60s and but then he um he what started in that mind in his seats where he was talking to everyone he walked past and everyone in seats around us we'd sort of have a little bit of conversation talk about his various political views and um uh his his love of rock climbing and how he traveled the world rock climbing he at one point sought out three americans who are about 12 seats away like down the carriage and was talking to about them about rock climbing in tex Texas and they were all like we've never been to Texas I don't you know we're American but in yet and then he came sat down and he was chatting more and um and

you're constantly chatting to all the staff even though we know doing the dinner service it was just a bit yet full-on right and then I just sort of thought at one point I thought this guy's quite annoying then i thought but this guy is also that is going to be me when i would eventually if i make it to 60 that's good that'll be your because i could see i think the only thing i disagree about with any of what you've said is is the words gonna be no it is me i am that guy yeah i 100% I've never really I've never really watched it in in real time no but you found it annoying

also I didn't really I actually found it quite sweet I could see what he was doing that's not what you started with no no I found it slightly like

yeah a bit beggy and a bit I found it almost quite sad that would be my main thing were you sad were you sad for him or were you sad for yourself

that it wasn't you that was entertaining the carriage he wasn't entertaining he thought he was this is the worst thing he thought he was entertaining bless his heart but and also was really he was trying to find a common ground with everyone and it didn't really work um because i could see people's eyes rolling and when you're caught in that when when you are the tornado in that social place, you don't often see people's reactions. So yeah, it was quite a, yeah, it was quite sad. Anyway, I digress.

On to you, my love. Well, first thing I would say is, thank you for your email, Hammerhead Shark. I think Mr. Pigeon's come out of this story pretty well, if I'm being honest with you. I don't know the background of what your history is, but to sort of have his wife, I imagine, tell him, I imagine that's what the swan would do

if somebody had been slagging me off and tell me immediately. Cat would tell me after, I think. I think Cat would tell me after. I think she wouldn't want to ruin the event. I think the swan would tell me immediately in case I got all thirsty and started trying to be matey with him or whatever but I think Mr Pigeon

could have really thrown you under the bus this is really bad but all I can see is you sitting on someone's knee really laughing and the swan going like Lisa just looking all angry like this guy's got no idea. Like you've been on the dance floor for 20 minutes you've unbuttoned your shirt down to your navel um it's so mad how you just sort of straight away you know what i do at parties so weird um but um but yeah but i would say uh well

look with regards to how's that ever happened to me i don't know if i've told this story before but one of my first jobs out of uni was i was working at uh it was a pensions review sort of program where people that had been missiled pensions were they'd employed a load of like mass graduates or economics graduates over to like work out what the pension redress was to these people and it was like a it was all students it was like a proper like it was a bit of like a almost like a post uni kind of vibe there because all the managers were sort a proper like it was a bit of like a almost like a post uni kind of vibe there because all the managers were sort of in their 30s but all of the people working there were like just out of uni just out of college or whatever

anyway four of us started at the same time and we were being trained by this woman um who i won't know but um she's very nice really nice woman but she trained us up and then she was working on a different floor then one day we were going downstairs to get some files to work on and as we're walking down the stairs the stairs were like facing the window of the building like inside obviously yeah and as i walked down the stairs i saw her reflection of her coming out obviously to head to the stairs as well so i could see her sort of coming towards us, but she was kind of behind us coming out the office door. And as a joke, I went, oh, and then I named her. She's a bloody nightmare, isn't she?

What a disaster. Oh, hello. How, didn't see you there. Like sort of trying to do a joke thing of being caught talking about. Unfortunately, she had no idea that I could see her and thought that she genuinely caught me slagging her off and then what followed was one of the frostiest years of my working life where she believed that she'd actually stumbled upon me slagging her off and was horrible to me and cold to me the entire

rest of my time working on my last day I said to her look can I have a quick word it's always bothered me do you know at the, when I first started here, I did see you. That was supposed to be a joke. And she looked at me and she went, yeah, no, I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. I know.

And I just thought, for the sake of that, she obviously didn't know. She was just trying to, like, style her way out of it. Or, you know, just sort of. But I just remember thinking to myself, for the sake of some little pathetic impressing these three bods that you've started work with you basically ended a work relationship it's so pathetic and thirsty of me but anyway i just want to apologize she'll i doubt she listens to this she's probably she won't listen to this

no she's she's i'm no more than them yeahlisted for life. No more than the, yeah, people that, yeah. But you know what, what's nice is you did, you brought it up and I respect that man. Well, I sort of felt like I had to, I didn't want any bad blood. Uh, okay. Should we do one more? Let's do one more, my champion. This is from the Persian cat and the tuneful spaniel.

And it says, please read this in ROM times two speed. Oh, that means, yeah. So basically what I've heard at the live show is you, and it was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen in my life. It was fucking incredible, man. You need to know that. It was incredible. I'm going to get JT to at some point put that clip up,

and it was a real feat. And I will say now. Yeah. I mean, you've sort of said I will say now and then in a silent applause but um okay uh hello almighty wolf and I were right and this is we drive back from watching the wolf and live at the Apollo and having told you face from the front row we're huge fans of the pod had a question for you we've been friends for over 17 years we met on our first day of secondary school despite going to university opposite ends of the country being polar opposites in most aspects of life and now living in different cities,

we somehow still manage to put up with each other. When we reunite, we snap straight back to the old ways like nothing ever changed, mainly reminiscing about sneaking into clubs underage, stealing our parents' booze and generally having a right old laugh. People in us would say we're like bickering sisters, but deep down we love each other most of the time.

We generally are BMF LTTVE. Our question is, what do you find most annoying in each other but tolerate anyway? Lots of love, the person counting the two for Spaniel. P.S. Tom, don do you find most annoying each other but tolerate anyway? Lots of love the person. Count the cheerful spaniel. P.S. Tom, don't listen to the woman in the audience. You do you and eat whatever the hell you want.

Oh yeah, that's very sweet. Does anything, Tom, does anything about me annoy you? Do you know what? No, not really. I can't think of anything that annoys me. I think sometimes your one-word texts slightly frustrate me. Your okays and your little... Do you not feel that that's a sufficient response to 12 unanswered texts?

But then sometimes I quite like it because it's sort of a little bit like sexy a little bit. I sort of was a bit nice and flirty and it's keeping our relationship spicy. No, I can't think of anything. Genuinely. I think I think I think I think of other people where I get annoyed by little things that do but I think with you I yeah, I think I know I know with you right me and you we're both broken souls.

And that kind of makes me happy you know yeah when you know the other person is pathetic as you are there's something reassuring about that isn't there yeah but i can't think of it no it's just i suppose no even when they're texting i'm more annoyed at myself that it shows how much i absolutely adore you that if i've sent you four messages and you're clearly doing something with your family or you're working i won't just go oh he'll message me which you always do when you've got time i think well maybe another three messages might just sort of nudge him into a place where he does i've got to

say something that i did find slightly spooky actually go and it's it was from yesterday yeah so you text me about when we were going to do the podcast today yeah and then you said you sent me a couple of texts about the video we put up about from the roast or whatever yeah i mean he said let me know what time uh you could do the podcast tomorrow and i said oh yeah 8 30 is great and then he said to me you okay right and there was nothing that i had done that would indicate to you that i wasn't okay but i wasn't because what had happened was i'd filmed the whole day and agreed to do a charity gig which had no problem with doing it's for eric mcelroy he's doing this gig for momentum charity which sort of helps families of children with with cancer obviously it's an amazing thing to be doing

but because i hadn't slept very well because i was quite nervous about the scene so i'd got up at 4 a.m i was like got picked up at six went to set did a whole day's filming got to my trailer got changed rushed to the gig and i was like so um i was so tired i was actually wavy i don't know if you ever had this where like i was walking into the venue and i felt drunk like because i was just so knackered and like i knew i'd be all right when i was on stage because you get a bit of adrenaline and so it kind of carries you through but everything around that i was my behavior was not erratic but what i would say is I was barely able, you know, I wasn't being very funny in the chat.

I was sort of getting in my head about people thinking I was rude because I was so tired. So I was, you know, like I was a bit like out of it. And so I was feeling a bit, I was in my head. And just as I was really in my head, you went, you okay? And I just thought, mate, Tom Davis is in tune with my soul. I didn't say it to you, but I want to say it to you now. And I do think it's an interesting lesson.

You've got no idea the impact getting in touch with someone and checking in on somebody has, man, because when you sent me that text, it fucking felt great. It was lovely. Do you know what I mean? So thank you mean so thank you well it's probably now that we've come so close that we're almost subliminally thinking also i will say um and and it's a beautiful story i had sent you about 33 texts that day so at one point one of them was going to be relevant yeah i mean there's lots of ones like, I mean, look, are you itchy? Are you horny?

Are you happy? Are you sad? I think I just felt so in my water and I could just sort of like, yeah, yeah. Sometimes, sometimes it's sometimes it's nice to push the lifeboat of love out there and just hope that you know you might just pull one sort of sweet soul onto it that's really nice

and what a really nice way to bring us to the close of this episode of The Wolf for now thank you so much for listening for an email episode

for us to have managed to do two emails half-heartedly has been impressive I think what we have to to do two emails half-heartedly has been impressive. I think what we have to probably do next week is just really up the emails in the main episode. We'll see it. I suspect what Tom will do is

message JT straight afterwards and see if it's get him to double check if it's okay to include any of the stuff he said about the filming of King Gary that we talked about at the beginning so it might be an even shorter episode than we think it is but listen, wolves and

owls, thank you for joining us on this journey once again. Thank you, we love you We love you very very much, take care Bless you. Bye bye If you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com that's wolfalpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you