Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 81: Cocaine Hippos & On-Screen Kissing

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

We’re talking… listener complaints, Christmas lunch confirmations, travel shows and Asian Provocateur, Pablo Escobar’s hippos, how to brag, failed auditions, on-screen kisses, snogging vs French kissing, a curious case of the cooties and dickhead mints. Plus, a couple of tricky email questions about a relative’s offensive language and a sex chat-bot dilemma. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah. It's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah.

Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Yeah. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts, get severed and served

Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler, that ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. Never sheep's clothing. Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All you hear is a huff, a puff and a... Expect killings.

Red spilling and flesh ripping. Impressive in it. The death bringing, it's head spinning. Just kidding. Every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl Inside Your Face Tom, let's get this straight out Let's get this out of the way straight off the bat

Last episode I'd say might have been our least popular episode yet Really? Because of the beeps? Yeah, the beeps infuriated people In fact The Swan has chosen the emails, but I do look at the emails. I can't imagine she would have chosen this one.

Let me just find this. JT, you need to delete my looking for it. Maybe just put a little beep over it. Yeah, hold on. It was a quiet time while I was waiting for Amish to find an email.

He scrolled through his phone and he smiled. What kind of phone is it really? His fingers trembled across an email, but it wasn't the one he was thinking about. Okay. It was one asking whether someone could give some advice

about a relationship that had become quite cruddy. Do you know what? I think the swan might have deleted this for my mental health. Oh, okay. I can give you the gist of it, but I won't look for it. So basically, somebody got in touch i won't name them and they said i'm a big fan of the podcast but what you did last week was one of the biggest pieces of shit i've ever listened to wow the bleeping was infuriating and then the the subject of the email was try harder. Wow. So, look, I just...

Yeah, I mean, that's... First of all, what I would say is don't get aggy. No, I'm not going to get aggy. I saw the wolf bare his teeth there. No, no, can I say that, number one, the bleeping thing I do think was a bit insane, but we were so committed to it and it would have been even more fucking insane

to release it, let it be where exactly we're going to be. Yeah. And the date we're going to be there, right? That would be, I mean, it's an argument.

It's, there's an argument. It would have been inside. So there's another argument that do we think we're fucking Harry Styles and that a load of people are going to turn up to where we decide to make. I think if we'd have allowed, if we'd have put it out, at least a few people would have been there. My being okay i actually agree with this person and when they

say try harder i don't really because we're neither us in the position of like this has never been a fucking podcast so it can't be a fan of the podcast because we've never tried hard it is this is what i'm talking about this is what i'm talking about it's a conversation i said to you not to get aggie and now you're starting to I can see you getting a little bit well I'm trying to not get aggy but my point being right the point of this podcast

is we just chat shit there's never been a point of this where we've got which we try right yeah no because for me no podcast should try every podcast I like

is people like a conversation yeah every podcast I've gone on that I've enjoyed is a conversation that's what if gone on that I've enjoyed is a conversation that's what if we were

here right now and I'd go Romesh here he is hello buddy how are you now you've got an interesting story about snakes today

it would be insane wouldn't it if that would be trying hard no you're right and it's better for us to sort of go I don't think we're

going to get anything this week and then we sort of talk for an hour at the end of it we go that was shit wasn't it that's going to go down in history. And then we sort of talk for an hour and at the end of it we go, that was shit, wasn't it? That's going to go down in history as one of the shittest episodes ever. And the one week that

we deliver a shit episode but don't reference it, turns out we've been called out for it. So there you go. Everyone's got an opinion, that's fine. Do I think it's the worst episode we've put out? No. No. I think the BP was an excuse.

Yeah, that's not a compliment to the last week's episode put out? No. No. If I'm honest with you. No. I think the beeping was an excuse. Yeah, that's not a compliment to the last week's episode, by the way. That's more of an indictment of everything else we've put out. Yeah, but my point being, apart from the beeping, I actually quite enjoyed that episode. I thought it was a very, like,

beautiful conversation. Well, I think you might have been caught up in the joy of sort of the get-together actually happening, because I've since been able to, in the interim, confirm that we are meeting at beep on the beep. So that's all going ahead. So that's exciting.

So that's very exciting. And obviously, there's a peep inside the curtain because I'm going to film the whole thing, which will be exciting. Yeah. The big one is I want to film your reaction when I see you. So, yeah, I want to try and get there before you. Well, I mean, what I would say to you, Tom, is if you're hoping to get an impressive reaction from me,

I'll give you an example. I'm currently filming Avoidance, as you know, the director of which is a very good friend of mine, Ben Green, my business partner. Sweet Ben, yeah. We first met on a show called Asian Provocateur. Yeah, wonderful show. Wonderful show, should be celebrating. You've never watched it.

You've never watched it. I love that show. Of course I've watched it. It's an incredible piece of work. You should be very proud of it. Okay, well thanks. Anyway, so... I've watched your travelogue, because I think they're brilliant. I think genuinely, I don't think there's a travelogue that you've done that I've not immensely enjoyed. I genuinely enjoyed it. Oh, that's very sweet. That's very sweet of you. So, I don't think there's a travelogue that you've done that I've not immensely enjoyed. I genuinely enjoyed it.

That's very sweet of you. So I hate for the day that record gets broken. One day you just get on this here and you go, well, let's listen. Well, I haven't seen the new Bill Bailey one yet. I love the bones of you. But listen, that trip that you did last time, absolute stinker.

Have you got any more trips coming up? I've just recorded. I've just done a three week trip have you when did you go oh yeah I don't know if I'm allowed to say where I went and I'm loath to say it

and ask JT to bleep out after the shit storm that we had off the last week yeah I think let's just try and avoid any bleeping in this one what I can confirm

is I went to three different countries I can tell you that wow okay so there you go I can't you that. Wow. Okay. So there you go. I can't give you any more information than that.

So back to Ben Green. What's he done now? Oh, yeah. So what happened? No, no. You know you said to me you're hoping to film my reaction. Yeah. So one of the first episodes of Asian Provocateur,

I had to get a bus across the country, across Sri Lanka. Asian Provocateur was in Sri Lanka. I was about to say it was set in Sri Lanka. We were actually in Sri Lanka. It wasn't set there. So it's the first time I'd worked with Ben. I didn't know him that well. And he said to me,

so we just want to capture you trying to get this bus, and we're just going to do it for real. You're trying to get this bus, right? So I sort of run around this busy bus station. I managed to find the bus. When you say run, were you sprinting or just jogging? No, I was walking. I had my full suitcase or whatever so I was sort of

walking at pace I would say managed to get on the bus and then I said to Ben bearing in mind I don't know Ben so Ben knows now Ben knows

what he's got with me as an on screen person right at that time just quickly to skip Ben's bio just what he'd been working on before you what it was

he'd done Idiot Abroad he's oh wow well the great man Carl Pilkin actually to be fair Carl Pilkin started a fucking banging show yeah Just what had he been working on before you? What was... He'd done Idiot Abroad. Oh, wow. Well, the great man Carl Pilk. Actually, to be fair, Carl Pilk, that's a fucking banging show. Yeah, okay.

I forgot about that one. Yeah. Okay, all right, mate. Fucking hell. So, and then I said to him, was that okay? And he said, yeah, it didn't really look like you were panicked at any time. And that's what they were hoping for, is for me to sort of be shitting myself.

And the truth was, I was shitting myself. But unfortunately, unless I'm acting and I put it on, my face very rarely, you know, I wouldn't say, people don't say that I light up very often. I see you light up. Well, I light up when I see you, because you're one of my very favourite people in the entire planet. Yeah, that little grin that you do

it's like the Cheshire Cat what's the Cheshire Cat in? Alice in Wonderland that's it yeah you've got a big smile when I said Alice in Wonderland I like the Cheshire Cat I find the rabbit a bit annoying in that one

it's weird because you seem to hate all the characters that have got the most similar energy to you yeah can I can I just say by the way I've had a bit of a

I've had a lot of pictures of smiling hippos in the last seven days yeah I have too actually quite a few people are pretty fucked off that you went in two-fitted on the hippo

yeah you know what? And I'm going to have to stand corrected. There's been a lot of evidence of one person actually works at a zoo, got in touch, reached out, and sent me a video of the hippos in an absolute way at the time. And you know what? I was like, for everyone out there who thinks hippos are mundane, boring creatures, I wish that they'd just made a bit more of an effort.

That's all I'm saying. You're talking about yourself a week ago. No, no. And on top of that, you haven't made an effort. You've had the video sent to you after you went in on it. No, no, no, no, no, no. I mean the hippos. Basically, hippos are the fucking new Mervyn Stutter.

No, that's what I'm saying. Hippos are just needlessly mervin stutter no it's what i'm saying a lot of people have said look i i understand where you're coming from because they can look quite mundane but actually peek behind the curtain but i was like look mate they're up against fucking some big big characters here so someone should be having a word with him saying look bring the fucking because once you actually see him having a laugh they seem like yeah fucking hell they seem like good people, good animals. No, you're right,

you're right, you're right. You're right. We should get them, you know what, we should get them entertaining again, get them back in the circuses and stuff. Do you know what I mean?

That's what you're after, isn't it? Also, get them fucking proving their worth. Do you know they're really dangerous as well? Yes, of course. Tom,

stop delivering obvious information like it's a revelation. Everybody knows hippos are fucking dangerous. Yeah, yeah, but here's one for you. On Papua Escobar's old estate, right, in Colombia. Yeah, I've been there, by the way. I know, yeah, I thought you'd show off about that. I'm not showing off about it, I'm just saying I've been there.

No, no, yeah, but the way you just went, I've been there, by the way. No, okay, okay, let me just stop you there. How do you say it then? How do you say it, Mr. Fucking Cool Slick just stop you there how do you say it then how do you say it Mr fucking cool slick fucking prick how do you say how do you say

I'd have been more throw away basically the way you did it I was thrown away bro I was thrown away I want to set a scenario

right now this is how you were right like me and a couple of friends are talking at the bar you're not even in our group

why is it always at a fucking there's a bar there there's a bar it's got a fucking there's a talking pineapple a giraffe turns up why has it always got to fucking... There's a bar there. There's a bar. It's got a fucking... There's a talking pineapple. A giraffe turns up.

Why has it always got to be some... Just explain to me. I'm asking you. But straight down the line, if it was your situation, if you were the one that had been to Columbia, how would you have delivered it? Well, I'm going to tell you how you did it first.

I'm going to do it to you first, right? This is how you do it. I'm on the par with my pals, right? We're chatting. Why are we in a bar? Why can't we just be on this podcast? The scenario's here, mate. We didn't do this happen. Here's the scenario, right? We're chatting. Why are we in a bar? Why can't we just be on this podcast? The scenario's here, mate. We didn't do this happen.

Here's the scenario, right? Okay, I'm in a restaurant. We're in a bar. I'm in a restaurant. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I'm having some food. I'm eating a big old steak, right?

Lovely bit of steak. Laughing and joking. I'm like, bloody hell, I tell you, you're saying for nothing. I didn't know this. Hippos are quite dangerous, right?

Do you know that some of them live live on pabloska bars i want to stay and you'd be walking past on the way to toilet right and the way you did it you sort of almost lent in the middle of the table like i've been there tom we're in a a two-person conversation all right i'm i'm responding to you in conversation right i'm I'm responding to you in conversation right I went I'd like to get

a replay on that actually slow mo I went they live on Pablo Escobar's estate oh I've been here

I didn't pull my fucking lapel like you did what I'm saying is it came across a little bit like how would you no but what I'm asking is it came across a little bit like how would you no but what I'm asking is

you do it alright okay yeah well I don't know if you're aware hippos are like fucking dangerous animals we all knew that okay that's actually

not that far from how I did it but here's one for you they actually they lived on Pablo Escobar's old estate in Colombia. Oh, actually, I don't want to be presumptuous, but I've actually been there. I've asked you to do it how you would do it.

Is that how you would do it? I don't mean presumptuous. What you displayed there is, first of all, you can't do it any differently to how I do it. And second of all, you don't understand what the word presumptuous means. But anyway, go on. So what did they do on Pablo Escobar's estate so they all can't cleaned up right the hip yeah if they order cocaine it was left at Escobar's they basically ended up fucking like snort snorting and they've become a fucking violence and no one else could ever live on that estate now even though

it's not one of the most beautiful houses how long is this how long has this high lasted for they're not still fucking off their tits now are they no but they're now like they're they're so much cocaine even they're like babies and their fucking kin have that's passed down from generations like from generation to generation every hippo born in that area is a cocaine addict is that what you're saying no no born on that estate has got no not cocaine but they've've got, like, fucking quite, like, serious sort of, like, aggressive tendencies because of the cocaine and sort of, like, what happened when there was only a little bit of cocaine left? There was, like, quite a lot of sort of fights between the hippos.

Yeah, but I'm assuming that's all over and done with now. Yeah, it's over and done with, but there's a lot of sort of frailties and there's a lot of aggression that was shown, and that genuinely has passed down. So, like, some of the baby hippos are sort of quite aggressive i think what's happened here is you've talked for a minute only the 10 first 10 seconds of which was based in any kind of fact the rest of it's been wild speculation mate i've read about this it's like insane like it's crazy like this is honestly read about cocaine adult hippo adult hippos cocaine adult hippos

adult hippo adult hippos cocaine adult hippos yep let's have a look pablo escobar's cocaine hippos the offspring of hippos once owned by colombian drug drug kingpin pablo escobar can be recognized as people or interested person of legal rights following a federal court order what the fuck is going on told you mate it's not because they're on cocaine mate it's just it's just because they're like they're not supposed to be in columbia and they're just they're just multiplying rampantly they're not all off their tits on coke they were though mate for quite a long time yeah but they're not but you're the way you made should i say how you made it seem you made it seem like a load of hippos got high on cocaine and then that somehow genetically passed on to their offspring no every single hippo that's passed a lot of the drug the drug like a lot of the um hippo babies were born

with like drug problems like they had a yearning for cocaine but they couldn't get hold of any so that's i don't know how true this bit is but apparently some of them were like seen just walking through like the streets of um i don't american or whatever it was in um columbia was it good streets of American or whatever it was in Columbia. What's it called? Merciful? Is it called

Merciful? Merciful? Where are they from? Medellin. Medellin, that's it. Yeah.

These hippos are just fucking wide eyed, just looking around for... Seriously, man,

that's a fucking film there, man. Well, they've done Cocaine Bear, haven't they? Yeah, I auditioned for a part in Cocaine Bear. around for seriously man it's i actually was that's a fucking film there man like that could be they've done cocaine bear haven't they yeah i actually auditioned for a part in cocaine bear what were you playing like one of the main drug i auditioned firstly for one of the main drug runners which is a quite a big part yeah i didn't get that part uh i was told that my

american accent wasn't good enough then there was a smaller part i auditioned for uh they said my accent was good enough but i wasn't a big enough name for the part uh eventually in the film cocaine bear yeah i mean yeah i would have been good as the bear that would have been quite interesting who was who was in cocaine bear i have to go through the cast list ray leota wasn't it wasn't he ray leota was in cocaine bear yeah yeah i'm pretty sure he was. Have you seen it? It's amazing. The script was incredible. It's a really good film. Anyway, look, you don't have to look it up.

Okay, who have we got? Yeah, Ray Lutter, O'Shee Jackson Jr., Kerry Russell. That's Ice Cube's son. Yeah. Ice Cube's son is in Cocaine Bear. Mate, it's great. Have you not said you'd love it?

Right, so Jesse Tyler Ferguson from Modern Family. Anyway, I first read for that part mate it's a great have you not said you'd love it right so uh jesse tyler ferguson from modern family anyway um i first read for that part and slowed the part and in the end they said oh actually look we have we're going to offer you a part because you've read now for four different roles and you haven't got them we're going to offer you the part as the ambulance uh driver right which the only role the only line in that was literally i'm driving an ambulance which i wouldn't have got the part because i don't, but what was literally me turning around to someone going? Oh my god that bears fucking crazy, man That's it. I actually quite like the way you delivered it to be honest. Thank you. Yeah

Yeah, no, I get ripped out the back of the ambulance and eat. Yeah. Yeah someone else got that party is How were you able to watch because I've got down to the last two for a few big things and then I found it almost impossible to watch them

and enjoy them yeah but I I don't know I did the same with The Many Saints of Newark watched that I was up for a run there's quite a few films

I went for a spate of this is actually pathetic but I went for a spate of reading for quite big movies in an American accent and getting none of them I reckon at least 50

at least 50 yeah auditions that I didn't get you're a movie star you're in Paddington too I mean I'm talking to a movie star I'm not taking the piss i'm being i don't know about that um yeah i'm proud of you thank you i love you for that i love you i adore

you as you are now and uh yeah but i mean to be fair it's a mad world isn't it the film world yes it is yeah who knows. Who knows what might happen. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo. Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil.

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So, Ben Green. Yeah. You look... So, the point I'm trying to make is, when you try and film me and my reaction, when I turn up to beep on the beep, you are... I think you might be disappointed is what I'm saying.

I think there's enough I've got in me. Number one, I know that Gracie's going to be really excited to see you. So I think you'll light up then. And if you don't, you're a sociopath, right? Well, that's a lot of pressure for my reaction to your child now, isn't it? And then, like, I know myself because I'm going to just go, hey, happy Christmas. Okay, please do not do that.

Why? It's quite funny. Please, please, I'm begging you, do not do that. Mate, it would be so cute watching your face. And you tell the boys, and this will be cool for them because they're that age, high fives all around for the Rankin-Ethan boys. Okay.

They actually do like you for some fucking unknown reason. I should tell them that every week I have to spend an hour being absolutely fucking two-footed by this guy and you seem to like him. No.

But those are... Oh, by the way, I spent a lovely evening with your brother in Kingsley. Oh, did you? Yeah. He was ungrateful. He was very sweet.

Do you think we're similar? No. No, no. Okay. I don't think so at all. I think you're very different. Do you think we're similar? No. No. No. Okay. I don't think so at all. I think you're very different characters. I think there's... We're voice twins, aren't we?

Yeah, vocally you sound very alike. But you're very different cats when it comes to your vibe. Both great company, but for different reasons, I'd say. Mm. Okay. Your brother's not as ticklish as you are why'd you do this

what I'm just saying but yeah we had a lovely evening Kingsley and Nando's as well we hit up which was nice oh lovely

good for you yeah where do you sit on by the way with eating before a gig what's your how I don't really? I don't.

Really? Well, I don't, I won't. I have to have a minimum of two and a half hours before I go on stage. See, I was doing that. And now I'm eating, it's insane. I go on stage at eight and I'm eating at like ten past seven. Yeah, I mean, it's not, I mean, it's not the end of the world, is it? If that's.

Yeah, but like everyone. If it's not affecting you, everyone's individual, aren't they? Yeah, but then I worry that I don't I run out of energy but then I worry I get too tired I mean mate I'm gonna tell you but by the way

this is what I mean going back to sort of last week I was showing off about my echinacea and then I lost my echinacea I've not been

I've still got it's fucking cold I just can't shake it yeah I don't think echinacea's the answer to this I don't think you've still got the cold

because you lost your echinacea yeah well whatever reason we've got... What other reason? What other reason? Yeah, but no. It's insane that I've had a cold now for nearly 10 days. I think there's just a rough cold going around, mate.

You've just got to accept it. Mate, I just can't shake this thing. Can I talk to you about colds in relation to my job? Yeah, go on. Because I had to do an on-screen kiss, which I sort of hinted at. Whoa. How was it?

It's fine. It's like whatever. But like... Again, very cool. No, no. What I would say is... You've become like the Ryan Cotling of British comedy. Yeah, yeah.

Just... Yeah, I could tell everybody's very excited on set to see what I throw down with what I would say is whenever you watch what I can say based on my limited experience of on screen

intimacy is that whatever you see on screen is so far from the experience that the actors have it's horrible

it's horrible it is it is absolutely first of all the paranoia about your breath yeah your the dryness of your lips how you look how you smell like see oh none of that yeah the smell stuff may be that the my big thing is just the paranoia of you're in you're in front of a whole room of people staring

doing their jobs right it's an awkward thing to kiss somebody anyway that you sort of like, you know, it's just someone you're working with. In most other jobs, you're not an accountant. You go, oh, Phil, you're going to have to kiss Lizzie this afternoon. Do you know what I mean? That doesn't happen, does it? It happens in some sort of more underground accountancy firms, but

for the most part, it doesn't happen. I don't want my accountant to be French kissing Lizzie from the other office. Unless they're in a relationship, then fine. I don't want my accountant to be French kissing Lizzie from the other office. Unless they're in a relationship, then fine. Yeah, of course. I don't want it done as part of life. I don't want it to be the way they celebrate finishing books for the year.

So, was it how much of an embrace was it? Was it like a sort of quick peck, or was it a kiss-kiss? It was, I would describe it as somewhere between a peck and a snog. So, like a lingering kiss is how I would describe it as somewhere between a peck and a snog so like a lingering kiss is how i did snogging sort of like by the way snogging just like completely had its day didn't it like you think when we were young french christ you're like snogging was like you had a kiss on the lips and then you went to a french kiss snogging was never really a thing hold on hold on what's but

what what is snogging then snogging is like a long kiss on your lips. That's what, like... What's the bit where your jaw's going up and down and you're really going for it? What's that? That's a French kiss. That's a French kiss. I thought French kiss is tongues. Yeah, but if your jaw's going up and down

and you've got your mouth open, you can't leave your tongue in your mouth, do you? It's a real insight into our fucking kissing technique. But French kissing can be also snogging are you telling me that snogging is snogging is this you're covering your face with your hand yeah my hands are over a person's mouth

no I know that but I can't see what you're doing like that that's not snogging it's a long that is not snogging. It's a long... Yeah, it's a long... That is not snogging. Snogging is, yeah, like... That's not snogging.

You show me what you think snogging is. Like, snogging is... That's not... That's not snogging. Because that's a French kiss, but without a tongue. There's no tongue French kissing. Yeah, that's snogging, isn't it? Hold on, let me have no tongue French kiss yeah that's snogging isn't it hold on let me have a look

I'm looking up snogging now this podcast should just be listening in silence as Romesh and Tom Google shit I'm sure what you're doing is like a snog it's not an open mouth kiss

a sexual kiss between two people who are holding each other that's a snog what you're an open mouth kiss a sexual kiss between two people who are holding each other that's a snog what you're talking about is a kiss that's different yeah but no snogging is like when you like you really go quickly right would you kiss your mum like i just kissed my hand no no but no i mean it's not then it's a it's not a kiss is it well that's not the fucking bar by which we're judging what kissing is

would you do it to your mum I'm just saying now you wouldn't do that to your mum would you no but that doesn't make it snoggy that's I mean that well I think kissing's okay to do to your mum and your family, right?

You can kiss them. You can't, like, snog them. What I think you're talking about is an open-mouth kiss. Yeah, that's what I meant. That's snogging. And then you go to another level, and that's a French kiss. Yeah, but what I'm saying is everything... I think anything open-mouthed is snogging.

That's what I'm saying to you. Closed-mouth is just kissing. It's different. Okay. Okay. And here's one. Even with your open-mouthed snog, right, I think that got bypassed for a lot of people

because I think it went from kissing, foregoing to snogging, to French kissing. Okay. Right? And there was like the – because I can never remember kissing someone without using my tongue, like when it was a sort of.

Jesus, Jesus Christ. What? So the kiss that you had, your on-screen kiss, right? That was an open mouth kiss. No, not quite, no. Sort of a lingering kind of. It was a romantic kiss.

Right, just quickly, right. Would you have kissed your mum like it? No. Not unless we both had a drink. So it was a spicy kiss? Yeah, spicy kiss, yeah. Yeah, yeah. How many takes?

Four or five. What? Jesus. Oh, Benny Boy's enjoying himself. No, but hold on. You're doing, you know, there's her single, my single. There's a wide. There's a two, two shot.

Two shot. It's four. Yeah. And then there's one just for posterity. I might have just one more go just on the wide you don't have to roll on this if you don't want to i'll just call this a little rehearsal now would you darling anyway i found the whole thing very embarrassing.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is, actually, first of all, how often do you snog Catherine? A couple of times a week, I think. A little kiss, yeah, a little snog, yeah. But now I'm sort of unsure what that means because now I think you think anything from a peck is a snog. Yeah, I think we're quite tactile. We like a little kiss.

I like to sort of grab a little cheeky kiss here and there a little cheeky snog down again yeah yeah yeah yeah at the moment obviously it's pretty much off because i'm literally just covered in snot and well that's that's the point i was gonna make is that i've had to do this on screen kiss while being sort of full of cold so hold up so the person did did you ever chat with the person before because i actually was on a job once and i wasn't involved in the kiss but someone involved in the kiss had cooties so yeah it's like how long ago was this are we in year eight or year nine that's what they're called though cooties right what the fuck are you talking about

they're called like the little bits what's called cooties, right? What the fuck are you talking about? What's called cooties? Herpes. Herpes? The person you kissed had herpes? No, I didn't kiss them. There was a kissing scene in this thing. With somebody that had herpes? Well, yeah, or cooties, yeah. They call it

cooties. Who calls it cooties? I don't think herpes and cooties is the same thing, mate. Right, well, let's be honest. There's a long investigation, right? Because there was a kit. Everyone was coming together for the kissing scene. It was quite a big scene. We were all involved in the scene, not the kiss.

And then someone went, oh, so-and-so's got cooties, so they're going to have to, like, look. They can't do the kiss because they can't pass on the cooties. Right. Is cooties the same thing as herpes? Is cooties the same as cooties? Is cooties the same thing as herpes? I don't think it is, mate. I feel so sorry for people who've got cooties or herpes.

Because once you've got it, you've got it for life, right? Well, I know that's the truth of herpes. I'm not sure I know. What is cooties? What does cooties mean? It's a... What does it mean? Cooties is a children's term for an imaginary germ.

Or it can be a nickname for head lice oh wow yeah so so so but this is insane because the word cooties was used so and everyone just took it as that i i think everyone on set took it that was herpes was it a school production production? No, it was a main... And an adult said, we've got a kissing scene with two people, one of them's got cooties. Someone came over and said, oh, look, we might have to push this scene to another day because one of the characters has got cooties.

Cooties? Cooties? Everybody was using the term cooties. Did anybody go? I was like, using the term cooties and it was like did anybody go no I was like fucking on cooties

that's yeah quite a few people at my school had that but then but then they had to call the kiss off and I think they

in the end it had a massive impact on the script because in the end the person with cooties couldn't but I always just thought cooties must mean herpes because her mate i'll tell you now wrong herpes bruv like herpes

is a serious thing because if you're happy tom tom i know that herpes is a serious thing okay we can file this in a box alongside hippos are dangerous yeah no but like sometimes i don't know how you but i don't know like i you using the word cooties i just don't i don't know like now i don't know what the fuck happened like i don't know what you took like there's a lot of things to think about here one did you hallucinate that whole thing right because that seems that seems absolutely bananas to me I think it was even on the call sheet it was on the call sheet this person's got cooties

what are you talking about no it was like this person's got a condition that means a kissing scene is off yeah okay but that's not cooties no the cooties

was used a lot that of that it can't have been used seriously man like I reckon somebody said

I reckon somebody said fucking have you heard about so and won't say yeah yeah and i'm like yeah fucking course i have and then i thought wait for them to say it and they said yeah they've got cooties okay i think somebody's playing a prank on you or something mate i will tell you now there was no prank like i remember being at breakfast and some people just being devastated because they're like this this could scupper the whole of this movie it's you know quite a big deal man so i don't know if like cooties was just like almost like a more friendly name given to herpes at that point i always thought it was herpes and i was literally like i've told you and explained to you so you know i was like mate fucking herpes is really dangerous because if you get it you can't get rid of it ever. It's always with you.

Okay. Honestly, I feel like I'm just coming up on some sort of hallucinogenic or something. I honestly don't even know what we're talking about now. Anyway, yeah, okay, fine. Cooties, somebody had cooties, all right? Yeah, okay. So have you given your cold to the person that you... No, that person had a cold as well.

My issue is not with the passing the cold my issue is with sort of as the kiss happened my nose being sort of slightly squished against my face and that i basically i was just not i think i was like sniffily and then every time we did you go well that's more like an eskimo kiss if you were touching noses we weren't touching noses but i mean it's like you're you know you're if you were touching noses. We weren't touching noses, but what I mean is like,

you know, I honestly really regret starting to talk about this at all. No, but if you, your nose isn't supposed to touch because like, when you're kissing, their face is like that

and yours is like that. I know what kissing is, Tom. Okay? This might be my favourite thing ever. You just completely like, I know what kissing is, Tom. That might be the most virgin thing I've ever said. I bloody know what kissing is, mate.

Let me tell you something. I have slogged two or three girls, actually. And two of them liked it. Oh, God. Anyway, the point is, I found the whole thing incredibly awkward. Yeah, it's a horrible, awkward thing. Yeah, it is really awkward. Anyway, the other thing that we need to talk about is,

I said to you when I explained to you last night i did it i sminted myself yeah and then you immediately got very very upset yeah because i'm not a big fan of smints i i find smints quite why doesn't it a fucking waste of money i think there's probably about 200 to 250 other mints that you can use it i've got a better firstly i'm airwaves absolutely fucking trump them uh murray mints that you can use that have got a better... Firstly, Airwaves absolutely fucking trumped them. Murray mints are better. There's so many different better mints. What do you mean better? When you say better, what do you mean?

They've got more of a mint release. What does that mean? You get more mint for your money. What does that mean? What does that mean, mint release? Explain yourself. Right, okay. You're all about the smint, right?

When you're doing this big kiss. First of all, I'm not saying I're all about the smit, right? When you're doing this bit. First of all, I'm not saying I'm all about the smit. I'm just saying I had a smit before I did this show. Yeah, but you're basically saying... I mean, now suddenly I'm like, you think I'm sponsored by smit or something. Right, no, number one, I'd say smit comes in the most fucking show-offy

fucking packaging ever involved in any suite because you walk around and it's like you're carrying a fucking maraca with you it's not a shaking that goes on there's no way of like getting around a fucking set I think tic-tacs are getting away with this pretty lightly but your tic-tacs are like their cousins to me I'll put tic-tacs and smitten together they're fucking the same idiot to me it's just I've got different names right they're the same but they're smitten if anything's worse because it's copied tic-tac at least tic-tac

you go well i was original do you mean okay fine right well no yeah no but at least tic-tac was it it was the one who started being the dickhead and smit is you know what smit is you know like when you're at school and you had someone like give you shit and say piss out of you right and then you had a dickhead mate who'd just stand behind them going yeah you're a fucking wanker mate and then like if you saw them on their own they'd go oh mate you're alright they'd be quite nice to you

that's smint if he's not backed up by a bully he's a fucking arsehole he's a wimp right so smint for me smint

right I look at it when someone's got smint like Catherine will have tic tacs or smint and I said look we can't have these in the car I don't want this to become a thing but so now we have polos why though because i'm like you get more mint for your money what are you talking about what are you talking about

just by nature right if you if i brought to you right i knocked on your door tonight and you were fucking just getting out of bed and i was like hello mate you're right and you're yeah and i went i've got two burgers one's this big well a mini burger and the other one's this big which one do you want and they're both so the point you're trying to make is polos are bigger than smiths is that the point you're trying yeah and also yeah so so why have you wasted the last five minutes of my life talking about mint release and fucking mint by the way is a fucking term more people should be using what my point is is it's like polo. Mate, all day long, polo's a fucking stealth.

You can get a polo out very quietly in the cinema and go, I hate doing polo. Do you know what I mean? Did you even hear that? Well, you haven't got a polo. Doing something silently and going, you haven't got a polo. Or do you go... Look, I can hear you've got schmintz down there can you try and be quiet

this is a great film oh my god that's schmintz should be banned from any social occasion okay all right you can have them on your own in your privacy of your own home but then i'll just say fucking hell mate just use a toothbrush yeah i mean you're sort of talking about smiths like they're sort of hardcore pornography here. I just think, right, there's so... Like, a Murray mint is absolutely delicious. I don't know anyone... It's absolutely no surprise to me that you think a Murray mint's up there with the best mints

because it's essentially sort of buttery and sort of toffee-ish and chewy and whatever. You've got a choice between a smith and a... It's like going to you, do you want half a cherry tomato? Do you want a chop for a kebab? Like, a Murray Mint is a big old fucking hefty sweet. Yeah, it's a lovely sweet.

A smint is a tiny little breath freshener. Mate, a smint is just a fucking annoying little prick. I'll tell you now, right, humbugs. If you literally came up to me, right? You had a pocket full of humbugs. Oh, my God. Murray Mint. I'd fucking shake your hand and go,

I loved you already, but I love you more dearly now than ever. And also, I don't know if you've ever had those little toffee juices. If you came up to me and you had a pocket full of humbugs, I genuinely, I think I would say,

what the fuck is going on with you? I genuinely I think I would say what the fuck is going on with you listen that's that's the thing why are you going around with a pocket full of humbugs

like a weird old man at a park no but I'll tell you what this is the other thing I always rate from fucking Murray Mint and humbugs

right is you can just carry them loosely around you can take them out of the big packet and go, I'll just take three out with me. And they're there. It's just, whereas smints, you've got to take the whole packet.

You can't take a couple out. It's not a whole packet. How big are these? Are you getting them from Costco? Are you buying smints by the kilo? No. They come in a little box like that. Yeah, which also is like literally the noisiest box in the world.

Right? I tell you, like, me and you what we both go to cinema i'll have to cut the moments yes since mince right see who annoys the people around them the most listen let me tell you something i could have a set of maracas and some symbols on my back and i could tell you which one of us would be the most annoying at the cinema. But you see what I'm saying, right? Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if that moves me with the conversation on, then yes, I see what you're saying. No, I'm just saying, like Yeah, I guess so. I mean, if, if that moves, we move, move with the conversation on,

then yes, I see what you're saying. No, I'm just saying like next time you do the big old kiss, right? Yeah. Just have, just have a,

polos that I'm, you know, honorable mention dispatches. I've got no problem with polos. Polos are decent enough. So, yeah. I mean, there's no reason for you to have a problem with any mints.

I used to always want to, as a bit of a joke, to go to a party somewhere and just have a load of beef mints and wait for someone after the meal to go, has anyone got any mints? And then just pull that out. Also, that can be quite a... That we cook. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh sliced deli.

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Great value. Bush Lager. Enjoy responsibly. Must be legal drinking age. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294.

Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Are we doing emails today? Are we going to do a... We can do. Do you want to do a couple? Let's do a couple. I've missed the emails, you know. Yeah.

I think we've lost a bit of due diligence. It was the only format point we've got. Yeah. Can I just say thanks once again to The Swan who... Are you missing The Swan and the family? Well, I've just been away... Are you still in that crap hole, by the way? I'm actually at the Grove

oh are you yeah what room did they put you in what do you mean it's a really nice room what's that paint do you I don't know

but what I would say is I met a guy called Kevin who told me to say hello to you Kevin yeah he said you know him

he works there oh yeah I know a couple of the fellas who work there was he one of the people you walk into at the main hotel? Yeah. Oh, he's nice.

Little fella, short fella. Yeah, well. Was short on me. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, is he short on you? Yeah, quite stocky. I wouldn't describe him as a short fella.

Well, no, yeah, but he's quite stocky. I wouldn't describe him as stocky, but sort of like fell within the normal... Yeah. He looked like he could probably bench press quite well. Yes, yeah. He looked quite, yeah. Yeah, he's got it well put together.

Yeah, he's actually got a very sweet style. Really nice guy. Can you do me a favour? To say to him tomorrow when you walk past him, just say, hey, Tom's just straight back at you. Hello.

And he'll see you very soon, my friend. Well, he said you go there for lunch quite a lot. Yeah, but just in case you see him before I do. OK. Well, I think it's quite fun, actually. You know what we could do is just have a bit of a laugh with him. And then we send messages through him to each other. Yeah, yeah.

I think that would be a fun game. Yeah, let's do that. You start, yeah? And then I follow up. No, no, you start. You're going to see him tomorrow morning. OK, fine. Yeah, well, you can excitedly go and to see him tomorrow morning. Okay, fine.

Well, you can excitedly go and ask him for his message the next time you come here. Okay. Hello, Wolf, Owl, Swan and Cat. Thank you. This is from the exhausted Viscacha. I don't know what that is. I need to look. Can you look up Viscacha while I'm reading this out?

Yeah, go on, mate. Okay. Thank you for the hours of listening pleasure. I particularly like how you intertwine important social issues into otherwise hilarious chatter it's provided me with a lot of food for thought and much needed belly laughs which leads me on to my issue i'd appreciate any advice and at the end of my tether my sister and her partner use ableist language mostly the r word oh my god but others too i've asked not to be various sorry i've got a bit of a cough various degrees of politeness i've tried to explain to her why it's offensive our relationship is okay now although

in our teenage years it's very strained i think she holds on to a lot of resentment there and that's why she can be so defensive at times she can be a really kind and caring person but for some reason she cannot understand why this behavior is so offensive i don't see her as often now so i don't experience it as much when it does happen i've just started keeping my mouth shut because it isn't worth the tension and stress that follows. Although I can never fully relax around them as I'm just waiting for something offensive to pop out. To make matters worse my daughter has severe learning difficulties and a load of complex needs and I have ADHD. This just adds to my guilt that I've stopped speaking up and challenging this ableist

behaviour and it doesn't feel right to me that I have. Life as an SEM parent can feel like a constant fight sometimes and I just want her to be our ally. Do you have any advice on how to really hammer the point home or do I just let it go? Thank you and stay awesome you incredible human beings. Tomo. By the way, it's like a

this visual I think is like a cross between like a sort of rabbit and a rat. Oh, okay. Lovely, thank you. Got a nice thick tail. Looks like probably it's in the desert, sort of like a dwelling, sort of rabbit and a rat. Oh, okay. Lovely. Thank you. Got a nice thick tail. Looks like it probably lives in the desert, sort of like a dwelling sort of stuff. I didn't read about it. I just made the assumption.

Anyhow, well, this is a tough one, actually. I think we sort of talked about this sort of thing before, but probably more when it's sort of based around friends rather than family so it was displaying this kind of behavior um i sort of had a bit of a situation like this actually quite recently again and sort of had to have a chat with someone about someone wording and some of the sort of way that they thought it was quite funny or they sort of they they just didn't see, they just saw that that was a term that they'd used for a long time and didn't see that there was any real necessity to change it, that there was no one around that they felt that would

be getting offended. And by me sort of saying I found it quite offensive, they couldn't quite, they couldn't see why. And then they sort of almost sort of became more i guess more aggressively sort of using it and saying it was sort of just how they talked or just the way that they spoke so it sort of became quite a it sort of came through quite a toxic situation in a way and i sort of just moved away from that person just decided that you know there's there's no real some people are just impossible to get through and i think when it comes to your to your sister is it the sister it is sister and her partner yeah yeah if anybody comes to your sister i think it's it depends i think with siblings it can be really really difficult because i think sometimes that's all it's actually almost harder because if you're older it can feel

like you're talking down to them if you're younger it can feel like you're being a bit presumptuous and talking up to them it can almost sometimes as well be a bit like i think it's i think this is common thing at the moment and a common thread in quite a lot of society of like well this is how i am and you can't tell me how to do and how to think and that word isn't offensive i I'd suggest there was a really incredible documentary out recently with Rosie Jones that actually I thought was incredible and I think actually watching something like that, which was very eye-opening and very, yeah, for me anyway, I'd sort of suggest watching something like that

and actually just, I guess, clarifying quite how hard you find it when she uses something like the R word or, you know, other such words and saying how you find that, not just for yourself, but how you find that, you know, with the stigma that's probably going to be attached to, you know, with your daughter or whoever, and how quite upsetting. And I think sometimes if you can appeal to someone's empathy and appeal to the best part by actually just conveying quite how hard you find that and how difficult it is

when you hear such words or, you know, that sort of language being used. I think, yeah, I think actually being quite honest and being quite open and being like, you know, explain quite how much it upsets and hurts you. Hopefully that should break through. And if that doesn't, then, you know, that's quite a sad sort of state of affairs. And it kind of, I don't really know what else you could do apart from that.

Yeah. Well, I don't want to make this about race, but I know that one of the things that you get concerned about as a person of colour is that white people are using sort of slurs and stuff when people of colour aren't around and they're not getting called out for it. And I know that, like, Tom's... I know that, Tom, you've told me stories where you've heard that kind of language and you've called it out

and it's an amazing thing to do. I think that it Tom, you've told me stories where you've heard that kind of language and you've called it out. And it's an amazing thing to do. I think it's a complicated situation because there are two, you know, there's two schools of thinking on this. It's that some people are sort of willing to move on and realise that these things are offensive. And other people sort of take the attitude of, you know, you can't say anything anymore. And I don't mean it like that. And look, it's not black and white. What I do think is this ableist language is offensive and it's horrible and it's horrific. And if you get into the habit of being comfortable using it

and thinking that it's okay to use it because you don't mean it in that way, it means that you are not appreciating the power that word has when it's when it's used to describe certain people and i don't think you saying that it's not offensive to you is is good enough is the honest truth i think that your sister uh and her partner need to stop fucking using that language. Do you know what I mean? At the end of the day, it's not nice, it's not okay. And I think that it's not... Look, people that say you can't say anything anymore is bullshit. It's like language changes, and we're in a time where, thankfully,

these sort of terms are being seen as being identified as being offensive. And the very least you can do, you know, you're not even, you know, you're sort of saying you wanted to be an ally. You're not even asking her to be an ally. You're asking to stop using offensive fucking words. Do you know what I mean? And she needs to do that. Her and her partner need to do that. They need to stop using that kind of language.

It's not funny, it's not okay, and it shouldn't be normalised. And I just feel like, you know, I think obviously you've got skin in the game because of your daughter, but if your sister can't stop using that type of language with those reasons in mind, I don't know what the fuck to say to her to be honest with you do you know what i mean it's like it's not good enough you know and i and i i feel like there's all sorts of words that we're used to use and like you know i i'm being absolutely honest when i say that when i grew up uh it was common to use the word

gay as an insult i said you know like that is a that is a fact of the matter i'm of that generation that was happening i wouldn't fucking do that now and and i'm not going to start saying to you you can't say anything anymore you can't say this and that it's not it's not okay do you know what i mean so i really think your sister should stop using that language as a bare minimum and then start looking into what's involved and if your daughter is having he's got daughter has got learning difficulties, she needs to look into the difficulties that people with those kind of issues and needs have to deal with.

Do you know what I mean? Because society isn't built to help those people as much as it should be. And the very least we can do is to not use that kind of language. I just don't think it's good enough. So in answer to your question do i just keep my mouth shut do i hammer the point home look it's easy to say but i think every single time that the ideal would be every single time that word is used or every single time they use that kind of language you call them out on it and you know in the same way

that you were like you're trying to train somebody you know in the same way that you were like, you're trying to train somebody, you know, in the same way that if you're trying to stop your kid using a certain word, you're trying to stop somebody swearing or whatever or saying something offensive. Every single time they say it, you call them out on it. And I think that's the way to deal with it. And if they want to use that language amongst themselves, then that's fine. But, you know, you can't stop them doing that in their own home,

but at least you've made them think about it. You know, because the truth of it is, is if they keep using it without being called out, they just think, okay, well, it's okay to use it now. And listen, I'm not saying that's the way you're going to go because it's de-energizing to have to keep doing that if they're insisting on using that language, to have to call out every single time and create a situation.

It's not as easy as that. But if you ask me what I think you should do, what you should do is call out every single time and create a situation it's not as easy as that but if you ask me what i think you should do what you should do is call out every time if you don't do i think you're in the wrong no i don't because life's hard and we're all trying to maintain relationships and we're trying to get by as best we can and if you don't i wouldn't blame you i wouldn't judge you but you know the ideal would be to call it out because people go through enough shit as it is without people not just fucking checking their behavior in terms of what type of language I used to describe people so you know that's my take on it I'm kind of loathe to be too harsh about it because you know we're all humans at the end of the day and

your sister is coming from a position of not understanding why some things are offensive but there's two ways of looking at it I've come across people that have used racially offensive language but they've used racially offensive language because they didn't know they weren't supposed to say that anyway they're of a certain age where they thought it was okay and they're coming out of a position of wanting to call bullshit like well i've been involved not so long ago in a situation like that and it's like that's how what how you not getting that memo that certain words and certain fucking phrases and certain ways of talking to people it's just not acceptable like i'm sorry i just don't i don't buy that i don't buy that no one's

turned around to someone and gone no you can't say that and i think that's you know like yeah you're right life is hard and life is difficult. We all have to maintain relationships. But when it comes to things like that, I find it really, really difficult that there's a line to cross. And I think within modern society, for the most part, people know what's acceptable and know what isn't. And, you know, maybe I'm naive, but for me, that's the smallest thing that you can accept

is that you're not in your language and in the way you talk to people using offensive slurs and description but anyhow look good luck with it good luck with it thinking of it it's a difficult

it's a difficult situation that you're in this is from the titillated tamarin dear wolf and owl and the wonderful swan and cat I hope this email

finds you amidst the chaos of banter and occasional owl hoot. I've got a burning question that's been keeping me up at night. Not as much, though, as my AI chat sex bot, though. You see, I've developed a somewhat intimate relationship with my electronic companion, and I can't help but wonder, is this considered cheating, or am I just engaging in a high-tech form of self-love?

I keep it secret and nobody else knows about this. My question to you, souls is this am i on a slippery slope to heartbreak or is this just the 21st century version of pillow talk help me out as i have a very happy marriage and the last thing i want is for that to end in an embarrassing mess what should i do shall i be open about it awaiting your sage advice the titillated tamarin hold up what what the hell is an ai chat sex bot number one it does not sound healthy it doesn't sound healthy but i i'd say i'd say they'd nip that in the bud as soon as you can because i do not think that sounds like a that's what that sounds like because i can only say from my point of view i don't know about l Lisa, but if Catherine caught me talking to a sex bot, you know, she would be, number one,

she would absolutely destroy me. As in that is fucking pathetic. And number two, it would, I think, yeah, I think it, I don't know, it feels like, it feels like if you want... Do you use pornography, Tom? No, we've talked about this. Okay, but have you ever used pornography since you've been with Catherine

of course I have yeah yeah okay and did Catherine know that since you've been with Catherine oh yeah probably the very early stages of our relationship

yeah okay alright so here's my next question does she know that did she know that that you were doing that no I wouldn't openly turn around yeah but that's not personal

is it I'd imagine an AI he's saying he's conversing with it yeah but it's not a real person no but still if you're going off to sleep at night I'd imagine an AI, he's saying he's conversing with it. Yeah, but it's not a real person. No, but still, if you're going off to sleep at night,

yeah, I mean, same question to you. Would you, with pornography, would you, is that something? Well, the reason I'm asking is, is I think with these things, so we normally take turns, but we're sort of jumping into a conversation. But like, I feel like if you wouldn't tell your other half that you're doing this there's probably something wrong is what i would say yeah so unless unless you are willing to go and say to your other half oh by the way just so you know because we don't i don't know how you'd phrase it but because we don't indulge in enough sexy talk i regularly chat interact with an ai chat sex bot.

That's the interesting thing with pornography. I think once you're in a relationship, I think pornography is a dangerous thing. I think like we didn't listen to a podcast about it. I think it's a very dangerous road to take yourself down. And I think it is a really, it's a dangerous thing full stop. And I think it's,

but yeah, I agree with what you're saying. I think it's like something that certainly once your relationship becomes serious, I don't think you should be looking for a way to vent and go out and be following that. Because I think you're, you know,

you're entering something I think is a bit seedy. As you say, if you're finding a place to go off on your own and, yeah, use pornography, it feels a bit like a fucking yeah more receding sort of way of being i guess but i don't know and i mean i've never up to now ever heard of an ai

chatbot i don't know what a chatbot is my kids use chatbots yeah so what is a chatbot it's just like uh it's like uh somebody you can interact with via text but it's like a simulation i mean so they'll sometimes like They have these stupid ones that they have like slang in matches with I mean that practice roasts with or whatever I mean and this thing just generates. It's like an artificial intelligence kind of response That you know that comes across as a person So I'm assuming that I'd never heard of AI chat bot sex bot until I've just read it, but i'm assuming that i i'd never heard of ai chatbot sexbot until i've just read it but i'm assuming that it is i mean i sound like i'm protesting too much here but i'm assuming it's somebody that sort of gives you sort of sexy chat but it's an ai thing it feels a bit yeah i've got to say i think i think yeah try to like you're like you say well yeah if you if you feel

embarrassed you don't feel like you could want to tell your wife, then there's probably everything you need to know is right there, right? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I think that what you need to do is you need to decide, are you going to talk to your missus about it? If you're not, then I would stop using it and try and see if you can scratch that itch with your real life partner would be my advice yeah and i'm not just saying that as a comedian that feels like he might be replaced

by aio in the very near future um good luck to you too later tamarin god bless you tonight tomo yo we come to the end I think it's better than last week's. Yeah. Also better than last week's. It would probably be an hour of silence based on some of the... Let JT decide. I always like JT's review. Okay, my J.

Yo, yo, yo, for the nights have begun to draw in and the cold has swaggered round your warm body, and the smile that used to look upwards at the sun and the blue sky has been replaced by a frown or a distinctive chattering of teeth. Be yeo, yeo, yeo. The high streets are about to be full of abundance of love and laughter. For it is the time for the Christmas lights. And just the other day, as I was chatting to a friend,

they said, it's too early for Christmas lights. They shouldn't be put up at this time. It's too early for Christmas lights. My philosophy is, they always make me smile. They always make me think there's something good to come around the corner. And the truth about life is, it's always nice to think about something decent, something wholesome. There is enough things to worry about, to be scared of in this modern world. But one of those things isn't Christmas lights.

For me, something that's brought up and put up with one idea which is a celebration one idea which is a way of just showing a bit of excitement a burning excitement of a day where you'll scamper down and sit around a tree and open presents can never come too early for me christmas light should come out in may for me any day there's a celebration of laughter and love and of course well jesus and all that stuff but the truth is it's never too early to have a good time it's never too early to say hey friend look up there that's a goddamn wreath and it's made of lights. Well, you know, what I would say, if anything, it's good to have evidence that you don't think of these in advance. I've got to say that I actually had a few other ones,

and in those two emails I found very sort of like, they sort of took the wind out of my sails a little bit. What took the wind out of your sails? They were great emails. They were incredible emails. But they gave me food for thought,ils? They were great emails. They were incredible emails. But they gave me food for thought. And I think I've sat here thinking about the emails. Sure.

And actually, I found them quite distracting. Okay. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, but JT can snip and make that sound. Now, last week's episode, I chose a song that was an old school classic. I've picked another one, actually, this week. Wow. I came across it. You know when you get reminded of a song that was um an old school classic i've picked another one actually this week i came across it you know when you get reminded of a song yeah uh jt can you play us out with level 42's lessons in love oh my god absolutely your brother was playing this yesterday in the dressing room

are you joking no he's playing some dressing room oh do you know why i sent it to him yeah we will dance and make grassz Dennis and your brother it was a fucking great moment yeah that sounds great guys thank you so much for listening I hope you enjoyed

this more than the last one I'm sorry if you didn't what are you doing Tom this is my new thing to sign off as the wolf okay it's been two years

and he's decided that he's going to do a wolf sound to close out the podcast. Woo-hoo-hoo! No, you've got to go, co-co-co-co-woo! Coo-coo-co-coo? Yes, well, that's it, isn't it? Coo-coo-co-coo! That's an L, isn't it?

Woo-hoo-co-co-co-woo! That's a cockerel. Anyway, look, we haven't got time to get into this. See you later, guys. Take care. Bye-bye. Peace. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.