Wolf and Owl - S2 Ep 83: Wonka Premiere & Radio Rom

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

We’re talking… a week of Wonka, hotel apologies, concentrating on content and social media memes, premiere parties, red carpet regrets, Rom’s new Radio 2 show, using local greengrocers and Tom��s takeaway crisis. Then it’s email time, with questions on taking a punt on reaching out to a celebrity and attitudes to calling in sick at work. For questions or comments please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello darlings, this is Lisa Vanderpump. Will you join me in France for a new reality show? Meet my hand-selected staff as they work, live and play at Chateau Roosevelt. Their job is to provide once-in-a-lifetime experiences for our guests. And of course they'll have to meet my standards and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April 1, streaming on Disney+. free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils. So whether you're going for a run or just running late,

do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Outro Music That's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff, a puff

And a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song Is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. of watching my very good friend, Tom Davis, be an absolute megastar in the new Wonka film. And look, by the time this goes out, the embargo will be lifted. Go to my YouTube channel to get the full review.

It's an hour and 20. It's almost as long as the film, actually. And your blog. You've written a blog now, haven't you? Yeah, I'm trying to. Do you know what? Actually. You're like the new Elliot Godalis.

Every now and again, I sort of to... Do you know what? Actually... You're like the new Elliot Gonzalez. Every now and again, I sort of like eat something or watch something or read something and I think I should do a review of this. Actually, there's been days when I've considered becoming a reviews guy. Well, no. I tread carefully with the reviews

because I'm sort of living in the... There's been a kind of crazy one after last week's Langham. Yeah, well, I was... I looked at the Langham's Instagram, and I'll be honest with you, I felt some slight regret on your behalf that you named the woman involved.

No, no, no. Can I just say, by the way, I didn't name the actual woman. That was a name that I sort of threw it... Yeah, I'm not going to name... That's what you wanted to say on this, isn't that is a fake name yeah yeah yeah i'm not i'm not gonna name the actual woman because that would be horrific yeah yeah unfortunately the woman that does happen to work who is called ellie who is a very sweet sweet soul has been subjected to a torrent of abuse thanks to you thanks hopefully there's someone called Ellie who works there I'd be mortified if there was

but I will say this after putting the Langham have got in touch with me of course what did they say

first of all before we get into this I'm going to give you a moment of I'm going to give you a moment can you hear that to tell me

no what is it is it Langham staff doing you a breakfast no no no no it's the background? To tell me. No, what is it? Is it Langham staff doing you a breakfast or something? No, no, no. It's Captain Hoover. But, oh, she's picked this time to Hoover. Well, listen, we do this an hour a week, so I can understand why it coincides.

My question to you is this. How true, I'm not saying the story wasn't true, did you add any stank onto the story for the benefit of the people? Only Ellie's name. Okay. But apart from that it happened exactly as it went

it happened exactly as I was talking about so Langham's got in touch Langham got in touch first of all through my agent Ollie Aziz right

okay Ollie's then forwarded me the email the email is very regretful very they apologise right which is very good of them and gracious of them

I'll give them that my problem with it is right after our story dropped on Wednesday, I was inundated with other people who'd been to the Langham for, you know, someone who took their mum there for her 60th birthday. People had been there for wedding anniversaries, and nearly all of them had a very similar story of something like that. So the story is, just to summar that so the story is just to summarize the story is you turn up there you get turned away is that is that yeah but also that we met with

snobbery uh how they were treated by the staff pretty much a lot yeah a number of people got in touch about that so the langham were very you know i'd said yeah offered to make some sort of admit amends to which i've sort of I don't feel quite right about doing because we obviously have you know a podcast in which I can air my filthy disgusting laundry and people have listened but I don't feel that's necessarily a right thing for me to do

because a lot of people don't have that and from what I've heard and what I've seen people who have got in touch have not, they've not even got back to them. So what you're saying is, to summarise, you, the land got in touch, but you are not accepting their apology in there?

No, I'm accepting their apology, and I think always will accept, I'm not accepting to go there and be tripped, like, have any kind of, I don't have any interest in going back there, and I don't think that's right, necessarily, on the basis that other people have been through a similar situation and not been offered the same thing. No, you were happy just for full context.

You were happy to get your Internet sorted out, though. Yeah, but that's different. Yeah. No, is it? Without the Internet, we wouldn't have this podcast. I see. So if it's the stuff that you actually need, you're happy to take advantage of it. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, yeah, yeah. I would. I don't think I could look at myself in this mirror again if I was to come on a podcast and go you know where I went this weekend? The Langham. They really looked after me and the girls. We had a great time. I think the only way of doing this is everyone who's had a bad time with the Langham get in touch and I'll get in touch

with the Langham and then try and organise some sort of party that you could host at the Langham. You've managed to find the absolute pinnacle worst way that this could pan out. Excellent. I mean you could host at the Langham and then you've managed to find the absolute pinnacle worst way that this could pan out excellent

me and you at the head of the table a load of load of the animal pack with us then I was thinking and you could sort of

do some of your sort of DJing rapping afterwards anyway I'm glad that the Langham got in touch and I yeah I understand that it's like you know the Langham got in touch. And yeah, I understand that.

It's like, you know... So Langham, look, there's my heart, there's my hand. Yeah. Well done for reaching out. Anyway, the... And also my reparations for everyone who's gone through tough times at the Langham. I think you mean commiserations. Reparations are something you sort of pay back

as a debt that you've incurred, possibly from slavery or something like that so you know i don't mind you using the wrong words in some instances but i think you play thank you you're playing pretty fast and loose with some pretty strong strong jargon there mate yeah okay right well in that case yeah apologies again for using that and also apologies for everyone else

in conversation into which I've used that word anyway the long and the short bit is I'm not going to become a reviews guy

I might do I don't know I think you'd be an amazing reviewer I look at my social media you're sensual you're like you know you're considered in what you say I think you'd be an amazing reviewer. I look at my social media. You're sensual.

You're like, you know, you're considered in what you say and you can be very charming. Yeah, well, what I would say is I look at my social media sometimes and I think the content is lacking. I think there's too much promo. So I want to start delivering some content on my social media.

Do you know what I mean? Oh, really? Yeah. Genuinely. Not to drive up numbers, but I social media. Do you know what I mean? Oh, really? Yeah. Genuinely. Not to drive up numbers, but I just feel like if you're having to put up with somebody going, oh, the weakest links on or new episode of the Wolf finale or whatever, I feel like the very least I can do is... I mean, to be fair, neither of us put that up about the Wolf finale.

I think we both did one story post. I do normally, I do reshare your story. Yeah, exactly. I do a story, do reshare your story. Yeah, exactly. I do a story, you reshare the story. I reshare James Torrance sharing the story, and then you reshare me resharing. I don't think that, when it comes to promotional, that's someone going, oh, what, they've got what, Asda?

I didn't realise. Because someone, we promoted it by telling someone, and we hoped that someone would tell someone else to someone else. I think, well, for now, wise, we both pretty need to up our ante on that. But anyhow. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.. I think, well, for now, wise, we both pretty need to up our ante on that. But anyhow. Yeah, we do.

Yeah, we do. I do think, like, it's difficult because you don't want to be a promo person nonstop. But at the same time, you don't want people to know stuff. Anyway, I'm getting too deep into it. The point is... No, no, no.

I'm thinking about doing more you stuff. Like, yeah, stuff like you going from... You know what everyone's doing is those walks. Everyone's doing a walk now, aren't they? Oh, like a walk on a sorts of camera. Yeah. How'd camera yeah how'd it go i tried the other day nearly had an asthma attack genuine the number one i got anxious about what i was saying was utter drivel uh the only person who doesn't really really well is red richardson shout out red smashes them they're great um all right i'd say arguably now a lot of people are jumping on the fucking walking thing and it's

like okay i get it well the walking thing has not been invented since social media came. I mean, walking is a... No, walking is, but the idea that walking and talking to a camera at the same time creates a dynamic that people go, oh, okay, he's talking to me on a walk. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You're not a fan of that?

You're not a fan of that? No, I think some of them work. I think it's like anything, right? Everyone just jumps on things. It's like mukbang yeah anything like people just jump on treads it's like when everyone's doing the ice fucking ice bath challenge or the plank challenge i mean the other thing that people do is they do them they can do videos like promo videos in the back of a car or something after a gig or whatever but i know that sort of from listening to sort of anecdotes about people who've done it

in the past sometimes people have done it like after a homecoming show and they're absolutely battered because they got emotional that they had a good show in their hometown and then they're so drunk they have to make six attempts at each video even if the videos just come to watch these tickets are available here i've heard of that happening yeah but you know what it only happens seldomly because there's only a certain amount of fucking idiots in the world who do that sort of stuff. Yeah, that was, yeah.

Well, it's just that I saw Jim yesterday. You know, your friend Jim that you go to golf with? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he told me that he took you home after the Croydon gig. Yeah.

And that you were doing a little promo videos in the back, but you got battered, right? Because you'd had, you were a bit emotional, weren't you? It was bit emotional weren't you it was emotional week it was an emotional week my man yeah it's a big week for you homecoming show and look we haven't got into this um i do want to say look we can get we we can talk about my experiences at the premiere uh after this but in terms of the actual premiere itself to go to to, first of all, to be invited by you,

I do want to say thank you very much because you only had a certain number of tickets. It was quite an exclusive thing. And obviously, I do consider you one of my very, you know, I consider you to be family, as I've said to you before. But for you to invite me felt amazing. And, you know, people talk about like moments of pride i think watching you be in a bona fide proper huge film and that's one of my mates and not only to be in it i'm not talking about being it as in oh look i can see tom i'm talking about you being brilliant in that film and being brilliant in that arena i felt like it was happening to me

like i i was just so so proud and like afterwards you know look i i i was very much an afterthought as we walked into the crowd in the after party i mean he gave a lot of big chat about how i was with you etc i i think when i said bye to you your first words were oh you're still here I think when I said bye to you, your first words were, oh, you're still here. The thing about you, right, in those arenas, is you're the most... It meant a lot to me having you there. Yeah.

I adored having you there. It meant, like, so much. But then you... I didn't realise quite how quiet and sort of into yourself you were going to go. You were sort of like... You were so, like... Every time I sort of turned to you, you were so like, you were so like, I was like, every time, like, every time I

sort of turned to you, you were like. Well, it's just, I find those, I find those things quite intimidating. And also, the other thing is, I'm not, I was very conscious of taking too much of your time. Like, that's the honest truth, because I, it's a big deal, you know, and everybody wants to talk to you. No, no, but I find those things awkward, but then also I find it that, like, if I'm honest with you, I felt quite weird because I wanted you to be there as my pal more than anything because we've been on this journey together

and it meant a lot, you being there. But then I was a bit conscious that you do find those things awkward. And also, when you're at something like that, I've never ever been in a situation like that. I didn't know what to expect, as I said to Catherine, and it was like the whole evening is someone just coming up going, oh, you need to speak to this person, you have to speak to this person, and dragging you around.

You don't feel for a minute like, oh, right, you're just going to sort of stand and have a bit of a drink and a laugh with your mates. It felt like, if I'm honest with you, that was part of the work at times of the actual shooting. Well, you had to do that. You had to do that. I mean, Mike's... And I'm honest with you that was hard to work at times in the actual shooting you had to do that you had to do that I mean

Mike's and I'm only joking you conducted yourself no no no I'm going to tell you do you know one of the most embarrassing things that's happened

for a little right so go on the red carpet of an event like that it's amazing and shout out to everyone it was insane I couldn't

I didn't know how big it was going to be or anything pinch yourself anyhow when they do all the shots with the paps they have this thing

where you have to stand there and they do all these shots of you as I'm walking in three of the paparazzi guys or camera guys say oh we came to your show in Southend

it was brilliant really sweet about the show what a story yeah go on no no well yeah don't worry, Robesh, there's always a fucking moment.

So then I'm standing there, and one of them shouts out, do the Tyson Fury, do the Tyson Fury, right? Oh, my God. Because he was at the show, right? So I thought it would be funny, because I'm naturally a fucking idiot to play the fool, right? So I do the fucking Tyson Fury boxing stance, right? And papers have used these pictures now.

Well, not only have the papers used them, it's so nice to hear the other side of the story because what happened was, is while you were sort of schmoozing, James DeFront and I made our way into the screening area. By the way, before which, I'd attempted to go through a door, which I was informed was for talent going onto the stage

to talk about the movie. So that was a big fucking embarrassment. So anyway, I walked into the cinema a bit, sat there with James LeFron. Then they start showing footage from the red carpet into the area, right? Okay, so we're watching and we're like, oh, I wonder where Tom is, I wonder where Tom is.

and we're like, oh, wonder where Tom is, wonder where Tom is. Anyway, the highlight for both of us of that footage going into the thing was that the bit they used to view.

I was on that fucking red carpet for an hour and a half. DeFron goes to me, what the fuck is he doing a boxing stance for? I said, I've I said I've got I've got that's insane

I was out there for an hour and an hour and they used that yeah they did they did that was kind of the only bit because they obviously

showed everybody the only bit everyone in the cinema laughed at going who the fuck does that idiot think he is well you know

they showed every cast member they would show like a little you know like a little show reel of every cast member someone looking glamorous someone looking show like a little, you know, like a little show reel of every cast member. Someone looking glamorous,

someone looking really fucking debonair, someone signing an autograph, some idiot doing a fucking boxing stance. What the hell is that? You know what the trouble is, right?

Yeah. My problem is, what I should have gone is do the task for you. Sorry, sorry, mate, no,

I'm not doing that. No, I don't think so. Oh, I'll get a laugh here. I'll get a moment. No, you didn't think,

let me get a laugh here. What you thought was, you were uncomfortable in that position. Oh, awfully uncomfortable, let me tell that. No, I don't think so. Oh, I'll get a laugh here. I'll get a moment. No, you didn't think, let me get a laugh here. What you thought was, you were uncomfortable in that position. Oh, awfully uncomfortable, let me tell you. Yeah, and you were asked to do something

and you did it. And there's nothing wrong in what you did. It's just funny. Yeah, but the trouble is, yeah, but it's funny because everyone's going, what the fuck's he doing?

Well, okay, Tom, if you think you had a hard time, now, bearing in mind that I'm not in the film, that's fair enough, right? Yeah. So I turn up there, the driver accidentally dropped me off at the wrong spot right so i walk up and no the girl who was supposed to be like looking after or show me where i'm supposed to

go she's at a different spot waiting for me right i get dropped off at a different point i'll go up to security and i go where am i supposed to be security i've got no idea what i'm doing there I mean they know that I'm there for the premiere but they're not expecting to see me at that point right

so they just they just keep going just go through go through and then what basically happens is seven different points in the red carpet

people look at me like I'm some sort of twat that's not in the film that's trying to get involved in the film press and publicity well there's a lot of people like that though

right well I am the opposite of that I there's a lot of people like that, though. Right. Well, I am the opposite of that. I know you are. But a lot of people, in their defence, a lot of people who rock up want to be fucking, look like they're in the movie, right? So in my rush to get out of the car in the panic, I don't realise that my shoelaces are untied, right? I walk up, I go to the bit where they do all the photos,

you know, and they go, look over it, you know, the whole bank of photographers, they all do that. The whole time they're doing that that both my shoelaces are completely untied right i don't know this i tell you when i do discover it is when i rush out of there because i'm so embarrassed trip over in front of the bank of the members of the public that are sort of looking out for stars in the film fall to the almost fall to the floor look up at a skewer so it just thinks like he's dealing with an intruder. I then crouch down to do up my shoelaces.

I'm crouching on the red carpet, right, to do up my shoelaces. People take photos of that and then those photos get circulated. What? So most of the photos you'll see of me from that Wonka premiere are me crouched on the floor

doing up my shoelaces. Oh my god. So you did a boxing pose, I did a nervous kid in year nine pose. I mean we've both shown the pillocks we are. At least you're in the film. I'm a pillock that's turned up as a fucking tag along. Do you know what I mean? At least you've got some business being there. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze. And it felt a little like...

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Saturday's right, that show. Saturday's, yeah, 10 to 1 from April I I'm taking over from Claudia Winkerman who is leaving anyway what I would say is I mean obviously

Claudia Winkerman is is very popular and she smashed that show legend of the game legend of the game yeah

so it's very intimidating to to be taking on the taking on the shoes but I'm very excited about getting the shirt it's like if you're a footballer

stepping into Ian Wright's shoes like when he was at yes I guess so yeah yeah and remember who did that if you don't mind me asking

what do you mean Niklas Anelka so and he smashed it so I don't know yeah he smashed it

and went to Real Madrid anyway I'm just going to read you some of the comments on the post. Because I'm not upset by it. Before people start going, don't ignore the haters, don't worry about it. I'm like, it is funny. Because I said to Flo, our agent, I said, it is going to be divisive.

There's no getting away from that. And I don't not want to be divisive, right? I think if everybody's got the same opinion of you, you're doing something wrong, I think. Well, you're very beige, then. Yeah, you're not going to got the same opinion of you, you're doing something wrong. I think you're very beige. Yeah. You're not going to be so vanilla. Do you know what I mean?

You're basically, if that is your situation, you're basically soup. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. On a menu. And not even like an exciting one.

I thought quite a lot of stick about my outfit. A lot of people were like, why did you go dressed as Zorro? Yeah. Did anyone say Zorro? Who's Zorro? Zorro is Zorro. No. Zorro sounds Who's Zorro? Zorro is Zorro. No, Zorro sounds better than Zorro.

Zorro is one R, isn't it? Zorro is two R's. Anyway, I didn't think... How many R's is it? By the way, me and Geoffrey, I wore a... By the way, I took a suit. I was away all week. I took a suit with me to wear to the premiere.

Yeah, as did James Dufresne. James Dufresne obviously is operating in a different sphere of attractiveness to me let's be absolutely no no no no no you look banging you look that's not what you said you walked up to me first thing you said first thing you said to me at the premiere after the experience i'd had of trying to get on stage with the director and cast right and just managed to find my way to the right part of the royal festival first thing you said to me is you look like you work in security for the premiere is what you said that was yes you did yes you did yeah but that was banter wasn't it oh you looked exactly the same as me look like i'd phone you i'll make sure you were you looked unbelievable

just why are you saying about just that backstage bit yeah you know when everyone walks on the stage they put us in this little cupboard thing backstage before we before we came out and it was all these sort of actors in the film

action actors in the film and we were in there for about 10 minutes and obviously as you know one of your favourite observations

I'm not a quiet man no so we were out the back of this even in those even in those situations you're not yeah yeah why am i am but also who else isn't a quiet man is keegan michael key um so what is really really difficult

is when you have two people who uh both like to sort of chat and be quite loud out louding each other um and if you then throw in the mix quite a few actors who are sort of, you know, maybe a little bit more restrained. Well, Rowan Atkinson, Hugh Grant, you know, people like that, yeah. Yeah, Jim Carter. Jim Carter was like, at one point Jim Carter turned around and went, for crying out loud, we can't hear what's going on on stage. And at the time, Keegan-Michael Key was trying to push me to,

there was these different things on the screen that you could press. Yeah. And it would make announcements to the whole crowd. And Keegan-Michael Key's going, Tom, Tom, it'd be fucking funny, man. Do it. It'd be fucking funny. And I was like, yeah.

And I was this close before someone went, if you press that, essentially, you're going to fuck the whole premiere. And I was like, oh, no, I shouldn't do that. But, yeah, I mean, I would say that whoever made me and him stand next to you if you're not on a school trip you never put the loud kids together um yeah it was a yeah i felt then i felt like the look of the world at me in that room yeah anyway what i what i do want to say is um i was so incredibly proud of you and it's um it's one of my favorite moments of the year seeing you like on that stage watching you in that film and i'm not first of all you know the embargo is lifted so i

can look out for my full review on my youtube channel but um as i said it's a great film and you are brilliant in it so well done man i'm so proud of you and i just hope that i look i do i want to take this opportunity to say that i hope you do carry on doing the podcast because this is my favorite part of the week yeah sure and also what i will say is a lot of people in the industry seem to like this podcast yes i actually get asked about this podcast in more interviews than anything else so yeah it does give me an insight into who who's people's favorite on the podcast because I very rarely get asked about the podcast at all. You do, shut up. You're such a little earwig.

You're such a little earwig. Why? Why? Because you've got this sort of, like, nobody's noticed me until you get in someone's ear. So, let's go back to the comments on your Insta. Oh, yeah. So, nice comment from rylan welcome to saturday's romesh claudia winkelman sent a nice series of love hearts huge congratulations

rom come on rom come on bro congrats rom uh get in wicked rom that's me turning off then can't stand him that's claudia's spot uh won't be listening he's not funny a real shame that's me off then and then like the quote they've got for me is i'm thrilled to be all radiating to the through no one else is thrilled in fairness a load of people have replied saying i am thrilled then another reason to tune into a different radio station. Oh dear, nothing personal, but I won't be tuning in. Jesus, I'll switch over. Isn't it a pity Radio 2 never considers their listeners? Can't stand it, won't be listening.

I won't be tuning in. How disappointing, need to find another radio station. Sadly, really disappointed. So many other broadcasters they could have chosen, which is true. Very disappointing, I won't be tuning in. Another waste of licence fee really disappointed. So many other broadcasters they could have chosen, which is true. Very disappointing. I won't be tuning in. Another waste of licence fee. Disappointed.

Well, at least you're not the only reason. Gets worse and worse. That's as short as both camels back, so to speak. I mean, I'm sort of skipping some of the positive ones. But the long and the short of it is, there's some people that got really annoyed, man. There's one woman, I'm not going to name her, but she is taking the opportunity to sort of reply to people that are really annoyed man uh there's one woman uh i'm not going to name her but she is taking the opportunity to sort of reply to people that are being positive to tell them that they

shouldn't be really it's quite yes but you know that do you know what man there's a lot of loneliness there that's a real tragic there's a tragedy there to that that's pretty sad because if you're if you're not just look leave if you're leaving a disappointing comment fair enough but to go and respond to everyone who's being positive, that's a truly tragic life. Yeah. I mean, the worst is people getting in touch with me saying,

just ignore the bad comments, which is just an ongoing reminder that they're happening. But what I would say to give it, to give it full context, one, I'm not, I knew that was going to happen because I do feel like whenever you've got somebody who's an institution like Claudia and she did smash that show, she was so good, you are going to get people...

Yeah, but I guarantee, mate, whoever did the show before Claudia, when Claudia took over, would have been the same thing. Yeah, I know, I know. So I'm not upset about it. I don't want people to get worried about me. I'm totally fine. Well, I'm slightly worried about you, but yeah. Yeah, but the other thing is there's loads and loads of positive

and I've had lots of like you know lots of people get in touch with me privately and say they're excited and lots of people on there

have said they're excited I just think it's quite funny that phenomenon do you know what I mean is funny

people get nervous of change in life yes but what I would say is I'm incredibly excited about the show I mean it's not starting till

April so which is my birthday month so it'd be great to come on for my birthday well that's why I said to them

let's do it for them I'm actually genuinely looking forward to coming on yeah would you come on the show

if I asked you of course yeah I'd literally jump here I'd basically get the training walk from Marlborough

to Radio 2 What I would say is when you do come on don't matter that you're opening an anecdote You know what

I was thinking have lunch after That's a great that's a lovely idea You know what I could do it a couple of times even if I'm not

on the show just head down and meet for lunch after Yeah I know where you'll be then You know what I wasn't even upset for myself then who I was upset for was Catherine head down and meet for lunch after. Yeah, yeah. I know where you'll be then, so.

You know what? I wasn't even upset for myself then. Who I was upset for was Catherine as she, on yet another Saturday, sees you get ready to meet me for lunch after my radio show. To travel into London. It's nothing, but it would be just... Don't worry, Tom.

You go and meet Romesh for lunch. We can hang out tomorrow. No, at work. I've got the golf tomorrow, so... You know what meet Romesh for lunch. We can hang out tomorrow. I'm not at work. I've got the golf tomorrow, so... You know what I was thinking? We can go to Hoppers. Have you been to Hoppers? Yes, I have been to Hoppers.

I've got one right next to my office. I've been there like three times. How often do you go? I do love Hoppers. How often are you going? I'm going at least twice a week. I'm very reluctant to say things about Hoppers because my mum gets really annoyed

if I big up Sri Lankan restaurants. Really? Why? Well, she feels like it's a jab at her cooking. Can I just say something, right? So we go to the green... As is the way of this podcast, I have to say something. We go to the green grocers in our little local town, lovely fella. And I was chatting to him the other day.

I've tried about three or four different take-away, Indian take-aways, right? He's become quite a fan. Can I just, sorry, sorry. I'm slightly distracted. So do you mind if I interrupt you in this story? You go to a greengrocer's, right? So you don't get your fruit and vegetables

from a supermarket. You go to a greengrocer's, right? Okay. So here's what I want to know is what are the reasons for doing that because i'm i think this might be a good thing to do what the reasons do that are is it because you want to support local businesses is it because the fruit and veg is better is it because it's cheaper can you just talk me through firstly of course support local business this guy's been there since i think 1982 when i was chatting to him we've had quite in-depth conversations me meeting him also his veg is

delivered sort of every one or two days it's fresher and it's coming from like a lot of supermarket stuff even though it's got it will say it's not a long sell by day you'll see a lot of it will start to sort of go off quite quickly because they've naturally got to deliver it all around the country yeah so it's you know where she's getting his from like more local produce I think um a price point I think it is cheaper but I just think it's it's you worried didn't you about I love the great in fact you've got green grocers and he's such a great cat even his family but are so sweet like genuinely we've I've lived in this area for now for nearly six months and he'll go in he's so lovely to grace cat he calls grace a little banana girl because she comes in and he'll go in he's so lovely to grace he calls grace a little banana

girl because she comes in and he always gives her a banana he's so cute okay well thank god you gave context to that story um and he's just lovely so uh he knows the area obviously very well um lived here for a long time uh so since i've been here I've tried local Thai places like an Indian like Indian takeaway like deliveries Chinese I've literally not found

a good takeaway yet here Jesus really Ron I'm telling you now I've I'm in a position right now I'm in a bit of a bit of predicament

like you know I love a good takeaway once in a while me and Catherine had a takeaway last night like bear in mind I go to somewhere like hoppers i think it's banging food i love as you well know i love that i love my curries it's one of my favorite things i've had six from this around this area every time i had a korma last night it was so watery if you if you run it through a sieve

you'd have only just been left with chicken it was disgusting right it was gene and and you know what i don't know if this is a thing it feels like everything's overly spiced it's really hot and then i'm like well they're just covering up for the fact it just tastes like junk so they've just made it spicier well listen i mean i'm trying to get over how appalled i am that you ordered a k coma, but I did just about managed to listen to the rest of the stuff. Yeah, Catherine was Catherine is a coma addict. She loves coma. A coma addict.

Yeah, she loves a coma. Yeah. So yeah, I'm I'll do it up a bit. I was like, sorry. I'm sort of you'll do it up a bit. You should like you. Yeah, look, judge. You know, judge.h yeah fucking stinker today um oh zhuzh yeah

zhuzh zhuzh yeah that might have been the Invisalign kicking in um yeah so uh

yeah I'll be going for like a Jeff Razier or Rogan Josh but they get everything gets a little bit spicier

so yeah so I worry now that I'm in this situation so but he and I said to him But they get, everything gets a little bit spicier. So yeah, so I worry now that I'm in this situation. So, but he, and I said to him, like, I just want a nice Indian restaurant around here.

Where would you suggest? And he was like, come to my house. Because everywhere else is shit. I was like, well, I will buy curries off you if you want. And he was like,

well, I'm not offering that. But yeah, he's like, everything else is just so so for curry now in your area you're going to your green graces house for dinner is that what's happening well if you advise me i'll go around there but yeah otherwise i don't know what i'm gonna do i'd have to start learning how to make i'm actually going to speak to your mom and get some recipes start stirring them myself because i can't take my anymore heartbreak

tom should we do some emails? Let's do some sweet, sweet emails, my champion. This is once again... Oh, by the way, can I say how lovely that top is? Arsenal have done it again, haven't they? This is some Arsenal-Maharishi combo. I actually had, before we get into emails, I had an incredible day yesterday. I went to watch Arsenal Wolves

with two of the Ranga boys, Charlie and Alex. Oh, nice, the younger ones. Where was Theo? What was he doing?

Just chilling? He had loads of work on or whatever. But it was amazing. I loved it. I love going to football with the kids, man. It's like,

it was such a fun Well, they loved every moment of it. Yes, they were. Although, they didn't like it when Wolves scored,

obviously. I mean, that's one of the heartbreaking things about going to the football with your kids is their reaction to Wolves. I've got to say, I was slightly furious when Wolves scored on the base. I had Gabriel in my back, in my fence, leading in my back three. Well, you need to talk to Zinchenko.

I don't know if you want to like shout him out and start getting him some abuse on the social media like you did to Langhams. But anyway, it's a nice top, isn't it? Can I just say, that's what Arsenal are looking at. I got sent a West Ham jumper to mark the fact that we won a European competition for the first time

in a long time. And it's the cheapest bit of shit I've ever like... Oh my god. Genuinely, I put it through the wash and all the lettering just came off after one wash like you're that the top you've got on there's not even a point to that top apart from it's beautiful it's amazing right that's like an incredible bit of kit it looks amazing

that's genuinely look like i'll go as far and say when i was scaffolding and we used to get out so every winter you get your sort of winter jumper that you wear with the firm's name across the front they were better made than this. I was like, oh, can you do a post on social media? I was like, no, I don't want anyone buying this, using this fucking hard-earned money to buy a jumper that's going to fall apart in two minutes. It's like, you just think about it. Just fucking think, you know, make it nice. People are spending it.

Is this West Ham official merch? Yeah. It's insane. I will do a picture on Wednesday of what it is and what it looks like. Okay. Anyhow, I digress. Anyway, thanks to the wonderful Swan for choosing the emails. How is the Swan?

Is she all right? Is the Swan okay? She's good, yeah. She's very good. She's very good. I want to answer that question in more fullness. We went to the gym yesterday together. Oh, nice.

Yeah, it was fun. Was it really? Okay, that's the update. Okay, so this is from The Gullible Giraffe. Wow. It says, Hi, guys. I can't believe I'm actually doing this,

but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right? Mango. Okay. There's been a lot of that, hasn't there? The mango. Tom, let's smash the fuck out the majority of the menu at lahore kebab house sorry it went to another line and send romesh updates every 10 minutes properly loving the commentary you guys doing for takeshi's castle once you finish laughing

at the fact i thought you're being serious here's a question for the pod well what actually become concerning despite every bone in your body telling you something was meant as a joke you cling on to the hope that you're the only one who ignored those bones. All the best to Gullible Draft. So this is, to give people context who haven't watched Takeshi's Castle, during some, I can't even remember when we said it, but during the credits, we said, if anybody's watched to this point, as a test, I'm saying, if you say the word mango to us,

we'll take you out for dinner. Was that right? Take you out for dinner? Something like that, yeah. Anyway, we didn't realise that because of auto-scroll, it just would automatically play to the next episode, and so it turns out pretty much everyone that's watched Takeshi's Castle has sent us a mess of Tame Mango.

It feels like that. What do you intend on doing about that? Well, I've had a lot of these. I mean, I'm sure you have as well. Well, people expect me to hold the end of the bargain up a little less than they do you um but um i mean it would be good if we could just get everyone to come to langham's and we could just sort of have a big pitch it's a great idea yeah okay let's do that let's definitely do that so guys tom's gonna sort out the admin for that so uh have you got an email address they can get

in touch with didn't i do it to this one and get Lisa to sort of correlate? I'll just forward them to you. Yeah, we'll just put FAO Tom and then I'll just forward them on to Tom. Yeah, okay, great. Yeah, I'll give you

my personal email, the one that you can send it to at the end of the show for you to... Well, I've got your personal email. No, no, no, I've got

another one that's, yeah, an inbox. No, no, I'll send it to the one, I'll send it to this one, it's all right. Thanks though, I don't need a I don't need

such a you're so you're so I know that your toes are slowly sort of like flexing around your duvet as you say this and I can tell exactly what your

body's doing uh but anyway so gullible giraffe maybe you took the shot and the shot's paying off we're going to Langhams thanks to Tom Davis yeah

good shot good taking great shot so what's the question oh no the question is have you ever this is off the back of

it's obviously directly related to what the giraffe has just done at what age does it become consented despite every bone

in your body telling you something was meant as a joke you cling on to the hope you're the only one who ignored those bones i mean i think if we were to widen that question have you ever done anything that's like because like this person the gullible drafts obviously taking a shot you know you mentioned nicholas and elka

can i tell you something really embarrassing yeah uh that i did with regards to nicholas and elka so i was at uni when Nicolas Anelka joined Arsenal. Yeah. Right? And I read a story that Nicolas Anelka was finding it difficult. Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I read a story that Nicolas Anelka was finding it difficult settling in London, right?

Because obviously what people forget is, you know, these players have to move to these cities or whatever. And they're trying to find a new friendship group or whatever. So, oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I sent an email to Arsenal Football Club saying, for the attention of Nicholas. I think this is really sweet, man. And I said, dear Nicholas or Nicola, I don't know how you pronounce it.

You didn't say that at the top, did you? No, no. I understand from reading various press things, and obviously you can't trust completely what the press say, that you're having trouble sitting in London. I live in London, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to say to you, if you ever wanted somebody to... Oh, man, I think this is sweet, bro.

You're being hard on yourself. If you ever wanted anybody to show you around and take you around and get you to grips with London, then I'm happy to do that. You know, you could have been doing a podcast with Nicholas and Elka. Well, anyway, he did reply. What? Really?

No, that would have been an amazing continuation. I never heard anything back, obviously. But it's so sad, isn't it? That was me taking a punt. I just thought... Yeah, but also, I will say this, right, with that. me taking a punt I just thought yeah but also I will say this right with that

it is I'm sorry I'm just trying to find a saying because I've got a story that's actually very much like this but very

almost worse I think so that's why I'm being kind and I will say this that actually when I meet people and you know you talk about

your resting bitch face and what's not and you sort of put on this facade that you're sometimes not as sweet a soul as you actually are. That is genuinely, I think, the most genuine, one of the lovely things, because although you can rip yourself about that,

I genuinely think that came from a place of real decency and goodness. I know there's a bit of it that you're a little thirsty prick who wants to be friends with a professional footballer, but actually I think that that came from a good place. And I think that, yeah, it's nice yeah can you imagine what it would have been like to sort of spend the day showing taking nicholas and elka to london zoo you know what would have been worse though is if he had gone okay that sounds great let's do something so you hang out for a day with him you go to london zoo have a couple of drinks go to like you know leicester square then go to

the trocadero or whatever, and then say, oh, see you again sometime. It would have been like a bad date when you never hear from him again. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So this is my version of that story, right? Okay. Do you know the actor Paul Waterhouser?

He's in I, Tonya. He's in this guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's incredible, yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. So, he has the same American agent as me and you do, right?

Obviously, a lot of physio work in for him than us. So, already, I know you're older when this happened. Yeah, no, no, this is very, very recent. Right, so, God, this happened so that's yeah no no this is very very recent um okay so um so he so basically i he knows some mutual friends of ours and that mean you know and for someone though like he's then towards instagram he's on instagram i um comment on one of his posts that he's in a post for someone that mean you know so i comment saying oh yeah hold on one second

hold on one second tom sorry i'm doing the podcast charlie do you want to come and say hello to tom okay just come on hello charlie you all right mate you good yeah oh my guy what guy absolutely legend of the game wearing those arsenal gloves yeah yeah anyway sorry go on so he's got some mutual friends so yeah he puts a picture of our comment he starts following me right yeah i'm like oh wow i love this i think this guy's an incredible actor right um oh man this is awful so he then very similar to nicholas and elka he then comes to film a movie movie over here which i think is the uh the 101 animations uh spit off with uh what's it called i can't remember yeah yeah with uh emma stone emma stone yeah yeah so he comes over right and he's in london uh and i think oh yeah in london you know

doesn't know anyone so i do exactly the same thing as you. I send him a message. I send him a DM just saying, hey, man, I know it's difficult being in a big city where you don't know anyone. Not even in the film that he's in. So he's going to have friends from work. If you ever want to hang out, let me know, right? Right. This is, again this this is again this is a sweet yeah sweet so he doesn't respond i'm being the thirsty loser i am i start checking

into every five minutes and i'm like um just let me know bro um yeah i hope you enjoyed the city hope film is going well so i've sent him to now with no response he's seen both of them right hope film is going well so I've sent him two now with no response he's seen both of them right about a week follows and there's no more

chat between us yeah so you left it yeah I've left it for a week and then I just sort of think I'll check in on him see how he is so I'm like how's filming going

and what's not and as I'm doing that I realise he's stopped following me I'm like how much of a monk do I feel even now

a bit of me's dying he's just sitting there going oh fucking who's this guy like and again he's messaging again

I'm going to stop this man I'm going to dip this in I'm going to stop I was like oh my god oh mate he's gonna regret that though anyway he sits down to watch one car no he's he's like yeah i know i but then no this is this is a bigger question right in what sense is like because

me and you have got this there's the same intention from both of us right it's not it's the same intention but isn't it strange that sort of how like yeah in my case i mean in yours nicholas could have read that for that's very sweet but you know i don't know the guy this guy in my scenario knows at least 15 people me and you are both friends with right so it's not a complete reach out of nowhere he must there's parts of me that thinks he looks at my fucking Instagram page and thought, I don't want to hang out with this guy. This guy strikes me he would not be the sort of person

I want to spend any time in. At least with Nicholas and Elka, it's a stab in the dark and he's literally gone, whether or not I even gave him the letter. Do you know what I mean? With this guy paul paul can literally sit there look at who he thinks i am as a person and go nah i don't think so we all have the power to shape the world we We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future.

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Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today. Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... talking about Rebelsis.

Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis. Why not kick back with a cold, smooth... bush? Why not kick back with a cold, smooth... Bush.

Smooth taste. Great value. Bush Lager. smooth taste great value bush lager enjoy responsibly must be legal drinking age can i just give you a little bit of uh a little bit of consolation here potentially all right because yeah i went to see Mike Babiglia in the West End. He did the song. He did the show, The Old Man and the Pool, I think it's called. I forgot the words. But it's a great show. And we were sort of back and forth on Instagram before that

because I said, I'm coming to watch the show, Werther. Because it's a long story, but, you know, Jimmy Carr knows him pretty well so like put us in touch right so i just messaged him saying uh come to what shani says i'll come like after you come to watch the show like come and say hello afterwards and i said oh yeah that's a really nice offer of his and then i went to watch the show and i went and watched like an amazing show and then i just thought this guy doesn't want to see me like there's no fucking way after this guy this is a great american comic has come over like really

like there's no way he's going to want to say hello like there's just no and i thought to myself he's been kind there and polite but i am not going to inflict seeing me on him. So I just left. And then I sent him a message saying, I didn't want to bother you. But the show was great. And then he just messaged me back saying, I'm really sorry that you don't want to, like he was like,

oh, I did want to see, I did want to see, like basically it was two people that didn't want to impose on each other, just sort of back and forth. And now the reason I'm telling that story is I think... Can I just say, this is what I'm taking from it, right? Mike the Bigler is an amazing comedian, right?

You've not come backstage. You've sent him a message. He's sent you a message saying he thinks you're a legend. You still follow each other. I've sent Paul Waterhouser a fucking message offering to fucking just to say, let's hang out. And he finds me that annoying that he's fucking stopped. He's not only not responded, he's stopped

following me. I'm going to be honest with you. As I was in the middle of telling the story, I realised that I'd forgotten that he'd stopped following you. That is the honest part. If he was still following me, I'll go firm enough. But look, for him to literally ghost me, he's ghosted me. He's ghosted the shit out of me here.

I'm like, like... I must be so unpalatable to him that he's like oh god you know they did and like my mind i have i i have a lot of paranoia and anxiety it's a part of my fucking head right that i hate and i've you've been amazing this week messaging you in my head i genuinely tell you for about a month or two after that all i could think of was him on set and going someone doing an impression of me because they know

that it's going to get in with him and him going oh god man hey has anybody spoken to the security guy he's a real Tom Davis he's so fucking

in your face right I just I spiralled a bit into thinking this guy fucking absolutely loathes me and he probably doesn't he probably he's probably just going alright you know what put a lid on this this guy's absolutely loathes me i could and he probably doesn't

he probably like he's probably just going all right you know what put a lid on this this guy's not yeah he probably has that he doesn't know you and whatever but the truth is you know what i would say to him is you've missed out some of the shit for me to unfollow something someone the shit they've gotta do i know i know but what i would say is you know he's missed out on me on meeting one of the very finest human beings this country's got to offer. Well, yeah, I think he'd argue with that. I think, yeah.

So, yeah, he's become, yeah. Has he become a... Would you say, you're about to say he's become a nurse? No, no, I still think he's incredible. I still... Mate, if he messaged me now, I'd literally be choked with excitement. I think he's a phenomenal actor

and he seems like a really nice guy. He just... Clearly, I'm just not a bit of what he's about. That's fine. You know, like you said. Maybe he's just nervous. Maybe he's just nervous.

Maybe he's just nervous. If you're nervous, you don't respond. If you think someone's a c***, you fucking stop following them. That's true. The unfollow's bad. I don't know how to get around that.

The unfollow is bad. By the way, I should digress. I've stopped following him now. Oh yeah. Well, what a revenge. Yeah.

Anything you've reinforced is bad. Also, yeah, yeah. Anything if you reinforced his one. Also, I just realised I stopped following him when I looked because I thought I still followed him.

Actually, I didn't, I don't remember not stopping following him. I did it when I was drunk. You're doing so many negatives here, I've got no idea,

you don't remember not stopping and following him. Yeah, but now I'm thinking, can you stop someone following you? Yeah, you can block them. I, but now I'm thinking, can you stop someone following you? Yeah, you can block them.

I'm not blocked because I see his page. I think I can see it. Oh my God, if he's blocked me. Oh God, I'd love it. This would be the ultimate. That's one of the, he's blocked me. What? No, he hasn't. None of our messages come up.

No, but can you see his page? Oh, I can see his page, yeah. Okay, thank God, Christ. That's enough, Jesus. I don't think either of us could have dealt with that spiral. Looks like he's having such a good life. Got a new kid. We've got so much in common.

I can't follow him back now. That would look fucking... No, I don't think you should. I think I've done it when I'm drunk. That's really sad, isn't it? That means I've got drunk and gone, oh, fuck it, I'm not going to follow him anymore. I imagine he's in the middle of doing those promo videos

in the back of the car after the point. I think it was probably after a worship gig. I just thought, who really hates me? Talking about, like, crazy, have you seen that two of the guys from Maths are having a boxing fight? Oh, God. What is happening to boxing?

Mate, I feel it's like, and also it's like, it's genuinely going to just kill itself now because look man Jake Paul fair enough

KSI fair enough they have a following like these two guys are sort of like fucking what like everyone's like it's the beef

that everyone wants to see fucking no I can't it's going to be two guys just flapping around sort of like neither of them

are fucking fighters who's going to watch that genuinely just like just make it a car park make it bare knuckle at least it

fucking it's got a bit more of a vibe to it yeah yeah bare knuckle vibe yeah no you're right okay should we do should we do one more email let's do it boy

this is from oh it doesn't say who it's from actually anonymous well it's not even gone anonymous it's just done like a little emoji at the

end hello for now sorry sorry sorry what's the emoji it's a thumbs up anonymous it's just done like a little emoji at the end hello wolf and owl sorry sorry sorry what's the emoji it's a thumbs up emoji oh wow that's a big one they must know

they're going to get picked for that that's why Alicia's picked her yeah she loves that kind of confidence shame she doesn't get it in her marriage

hello wolf and owl cheeky monkey here I don't know how much the owl cheeky monkey okay oh yeah fuck okay Jesus I can't cheeky monkey I know how much i have got no cheeky monkey okay oh oh yeah fuck okay jesus i can't cheeky monkey i know how much the hour loves rehashing past podcast conversations especially the one

about cooties not sure on spelling oh by the way can i just on cooties i've spoke to a couple people on the set of avoidance and they think you might have a point really not herpes yeah but cooties is a thing right a cold sore or like a little sort of yeah a little sore is cooties thank you thank you

no no I'm saying a couple of you think you might have a point it's not validation mate that's all you need to know

you get a couple of people that becomes a fucking army thank you okay well you're describing the rise of fascism

but I mean in application to you deciding that cooties are the same as herpes but yeah alright there's been a lot of talk of the kissing episode

lots of talk about it yeah I would say yeah I didn't come off playing that but when we talked about it before I didn't come out of that with any kind of grace anyway

easy could you not use my daughter's name when you're fucking summarising your kissing technique sorry sorry sorry but um cooties i've always known it to mean being ill or having a cold or as i've called it the lurgy

which i'm pretty sure you've heard of my question is this when you have to call in sick to work you overthink it to the point where all rational thought goes out your head you end up going into work and then suffer because you don't want to seem weak or that lying that you're lying just to get a day off pierce your podcast has me in stitches your chats remind me of the kinds of chats conversation me and my friends have uh hold on the swans just walked into the room hello swan how are you look at her tom she can't hear you how are you thank you thank you we're just talking about your email selection oh were they not good then yeah they were really good yeah we're really impressed how can i improve how can she improve tom do you think with her i don't know she can i think she's brilliant

i think i like the ones i like the ones yeah like this incite a little bit of general conversation yeah it's tom saying you've incited a lot of gentle conversation so well done and sparring saying sparring and sparring yeah and sparring he's saying verbal sparring um i can also announce i got into the car yesterday and the swan had the wolf an hour long in the car oh wow it's nice to hear yeah the cat is very much getting back into the wolf now that's good slightly worrying for us yeah yeah thank you that's pushing the arms up uh okay uh tom calling in sick i would say no but the present, I think it's almost impossible for, when would you pull a gig? Because in the last two weeks, three weeks, and I've been on tour, I felt so ropey at times and so fucking run down. But then you can't pull a gig, right? You realise in your head, everyone else who is going has got babysitters they but tonight it's an occasion i think it's very very difficult to to pull i mean touch wood i haven't ever had to

i mean i've pulled a gig i put the i mean the end times i've ever pulled the gigs because because of cove is not me having covered as in it all got shut down but um in terms of actually being ill i don't know what level of and like when people do it people have to do it if you have to do it you have to do it but it's tricky and similarly when you're filming i mean the idea of pulling a sickie not pulling a sickie but i mean calling in sick it's in almost impossible i've had one day in filming where i've had to pull because i like genuine like next i was well i spoke to you we were doing the curse tour and I got rushed to hospital. Yeah,

yeah. On action team, I'd film with broken ribs and a broken finger and gone in the next day. Gig wise, I, the other war,

well about two, let me think, about two weeks ago, I think it was, I was so fucking rough, like genuinely to the point, you know, you fucking,

full of snot, you feel fucking nauseous you're shitting yourself and I sort of said to Gratz about what would be the

situation you pull a gig and Gratz's response was Romesh and Lee Evans and Kevin Bridges never pull gigs

so I was like okay well that's the level I'm going to have to fucking stick up and go in it and it was a great gig

but yeah he was like no but he's like you don't pull gigs we just don't do it you can't and you realise that you've just got

and in our industry now I'd say actually that's the thing that you've got to like you've got to be next level fucking because the amount of money

as you know if you're filming and you can't make it and you're going to be filming that day that can essentially send a whole fucking production under because and if they haven't got time to turn around and film, that can essentially send a whole fucking production under.

Because if they haven't got time to turn around and film something else, they'd lose a day. I know, I know. It costs a lot, a lot of money. If you've lost your voice or something, what can you do? Do you mean it's over? Yeah, if you've lost your voice, I guess they find out. No, so if you talk about something like that, losing your voice,

or like to the point where you're in hospital, if you're just feeling ill, if you're like when I like to the point where you're hospital if you're just feeling ill if you can if you like when when i went to the curse and i got so ill that i was in hospital and then they could claim it's an insurance day because i've been to hospital and they that they could verify that if you've lost your voice and you go to the doctors you go to and you can get that verified they can but if you're just feeling under the weather and you've got a bit of a flu and you just go i can't come in i feel ill today essentially they're fucked they have to have documentation yeah but back in the day i used to sort of hungoverly take off quite a few days when i scaffolding usually i

don't think i ever worked a friday for about three years yeah it was quite big on a thursday yeah i mean i was a teacher for bucketingham difficult very difficult very difficult really well it depends how bad you feel about it but I mean they'll always

get cover teachers in but then you're sort of set in supply I mean I'm not saying it didn't happen I did call in

sick on occasion but it's just the knock on effect isn't it you know that the kids you're teaching are going

to have a shit day or a shit lesson because a supply teacher has to go in hand out sheets and go you're doing this for an hour do you mean it's like we get the situation i remember once taking a friday off and they got uh the gang that i was working in these the other three guys got another laboring called soul he was romanian and he was amazing so i just got i took the day off sit like hungover sick and on saturday morning i got a text

from the guy I work with saying look Sol was amazing today so we're just going to for Monday we're going to start using Sol and I lost my job that was awful

how did you it doesn't happen that much in teaching to be honest with you you never worried like a supply teacher like Michelle Pfeiffer or something would go in

not actual Michelle Pfeiffer because that would be insane but like her character how it works at my school is you have a certain number of free periods or private work periods or whatever in a timetabled week and some of them you'd have to give over for cover so every now and again

you'd have to check the cover sheet and see if you'd lost a free period to go and cover a lesson so most of the time you'd have work to do so what you do is you'd set the clock so if if a teacher was off sick and they were like had your well-being in mind they'd set what the class could get on with without too much intervention do you know what i mean and so so you'd sometimes be a supply teacher you'd sometimes have to step into the bridge yeah and even when i started doing comedy and i was like struggling for money i went back in as a supply teacher for a bit oh really all i did was cover lessons yeah how did you find that though how hard yeah like how did you yeah horrible because you're going in

like that i went in a little bit after i like a while after i'd left, so none of the kids knew who I was. Like, as in when I said, I don't mean they didn't know who I was as a comedian. I mean, they didn't know who I was because I went back to the school that I was a teacher. Oh, wow. So you thought you were going to get that kind of, oh, we've got Mr Reagan Athens back.

No, no. Like, it's sort of like kids just going, fuck you, man. Oh, but you're too old, my big brother. He said you're amazing. No, no. It was just the convenient one to go and do supplier. So, but anyway, it was hard.

Just walking through those corridors and always high-fiving kids. Yeah, just thinking it's going to be like fucking 21 Jump Street. Mr Reganathan, you've got toilet paper hanging out the back of your trousers. Yeah, it was a bit like that. For Friggin' sake! It was a bit like that, except they didn't know my name. Yeah, it's hard. Being a supply teacher is very, very hard hard i always thought it's a bit like

being a step parent isn't it really you really got a little bit long yeah you've got a gain of trust right and love quite quickly yeah so it would be i would say it's pretty difficult for a supply teacher to smash it so much that they start talking about replacing you with a supply teacher yeah um and often like i'd be going in and covering i mean i used to be i used to cover pe lessons sometimes and i used this is so bad i used to just take them out because i thought i don't want them to miss a pe lesson so as in like most of the time if p teacher was off sick they'd give worksheets for them to do and do them in a classroom but i would take them out to do whatever it is they're supposed to do anyway well like physical exercise playing football but somebody completely fucking incompetent was taking him for the lesson i don't even know if it's

allowed actually but that's what i used to do i quite like the idea if you didn't have the gym kit on well i once did i once took a cricket class and i said to them anyone that gets me out i'll give you a quid and uh i came out of that less than 20 quid in the hole um that's also i think in the long time we've been doing this i sort of like i adore you but i get the feeling right that was you trying to be really cool all right okay you get me out i'm gonna give you a bloody quid and then you you high-five and just laugh and rolling in the grass and just being silly. What, like a dog? No.

No, I could have... I don't know why I've got this vision, right? There's a cricket, you've given out 20 quid, and at the end of it, you're, like, panting, and you're like... Anyone fancy a beer? What are we all doing after this? We're all going out. We ate, sir.

Yeah, it was bad. Listen, it was not my finest moment. All right. All right, Tomo. It's that time, brother. Right, okay. Go for it. Harper Weistein had grown up his whole life in frankfurt at the age of 13 he started

what's the name sorry sorry what's the name harper weinstadt weinstadt okay yeah it's a german tell this one um he'd grown up in frankfurt and at the age of 13 he started big school on his first day there his mama made him a bologna and cream cheese sandwich as harper sat down at lunch in the new school full of new people uh someone says what do you have for your lunch harper and he's like oh for lunch today i have bologna and cream cheese and everyone starts laughing for all the other children know that it's more popular and Kula to have a pulled beef sandwich. Because that's the currency. That's the coolest thing to me.

So when Harper goes home that night, he turns around and says, Mum, Mum, all the other children have pulled beef sandwiches. And his mum says, I know, Harper, but we only have bologna and cream cheese. So tomorrow and the other day, you'll have to have that. And as the summer fades to autumn, and in autumn, as Harper still has his bologna and cream cheese sandwich, all the other kids are laughing at him still because they're having ham hock.

And as winter pulls in, the kids start having turkey. He's still having bologna and cream cheese. And he asks his mother to change his sandwich every day. And she says, no, no, we only have bologna and cream cheese. And he asked his mother to change his sandwich every day. And she says, no, no, we only have bologna and cream cheese. And then one fateful Wednesday when Harper's sitting there, a young boy sits opposite him and opens his lunchbox. And Harper says, what have you got in your sandwich there? It looks familiar.

And the little boy says, I have bologna and cream cheese. And as all the other children open their sandwiches and their lunch boxes harper realizes that everyone's eating bologna and cream cheese and someone said oh this is delicious this sandwich and someone said it's a harper special what's the moral of this story well the truth about it is it's easy to follow trends it's easy to try and walk in other people's footsteps. It's hard when you feel a little bit different, like an outsider, maybe because you can't afford the newest thing, or you just can't reach to those heights.

The truth is, though, sometimes if you stay with what you know, at some point, the world will turn, and the tide of change may drag you into shore. So don't always try and be a sandwich that everyone else is eating. Sometimes, just try and be bologna and cream cheese. Try and be different. Really, really nice. I'd say the accents was a decision. Yeah.

Did you get that they were German? Yeah, definitely got they were German or yeah definitely definitely got they were German yeah yeah it was yeah I mean you could tell

from both the accents and the stereotyping so very much love you thank you for being a part

of an amazing week no thank you for letting me be part of it I put together a Spotify playlist called Winter Warmer I shared it on Instagram the other day Thank you for being a part of an amazing week. No, thank you for letting me be part of it. I put together a Spotify playlist called Winter Warmer. I shared it on Instagram the other day.

Wow. What now? Yeah, so I'm choosing a song from Winter Warmer. It's a song by SZA called Nobody Gets Me. Nobody Gets Me. You know what? What? Very much like the bologna sandwich and the Instagram page. Not everybody needs to get you.

Just the ones that enjoy you need to find you delicious. Yeah. JT, can you play us out? Thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for now. See you next time. Take care. Bye-bye. Bye. I don't wanna see you with anyone but me Nobody gets me like you

I'm not supposed to let you go Only like myself when I'm with you Nobody gets me, you do You do Nobody gets me. You do. You do. Nobody gets me. You do. You do. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

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